Another BigCloset TopShelf story.

SISTER SUFFRAGETTES
by Jezzi Belle Stewart
 ©2006, Turn Right Productions

(Part 2 begins immediately following the end of part 1.)

For the second time in less than ten minutes, we were all of us on our feet, cheering, laughing at the last statement, and applauding for all we were worth. When we all ran down finally, Mrs. Stanton had reclaimed the podium, and she addressed HIM: "My dear, you make a better man as Henrietta than you ever did as Henry, and I am sure that the new Henry that will appear Monday will be as fine a man as Henrietta is a woman. All of us, Henrietta's new friends, will not desert her Monday simply because her clothes and appearance change. As I said in the beginning ladies, do not give up on your men; we have an example before us that change IS possible. God speed Henrietta and Henry. And now ..."

I have never been prouder of my brother as I was at that moment when he was my sister! We met only briefly after the speeches, but Henrietta promised mother and I a good 'woman to women' talk after this evenings ball. Father could participate, she said with a smile, but only if he was willing to don a nightgown! AND FATHER AGREED !!! But Mother, realizing, I believe, that his heart was not in it, and appreciating that he had made a large step just by attending the convention today, let him off the hook by saying that she thought she would be quite tired by the end of the ball and that anyway her daughters would be able to talk more freely without their parents present. She and Father would accept a summary of our conversation in the morning. I hope that when I marry, my husband and I will have the type of relationship that Mother and Father have.

As Henrietta would be busy, and Patricia and Elsie as well, with preparations for the night's ball, we said our farewells and left for home, Mother and I to nap and father to clear up some bank business. Along the way we exchanged hugs and parted with Elsie's mother, who assured us she would return to the convention on the morrow to officially join our cause. As I laid my head upon my pillow, I thought of seeing my brother at the ball, and decided that I would kill him if Henrietta ended up in a gown more splendid than mine!

As Mother and I checked ourselves in the full length mirror provided in the special tent set aside as the ladies salon that evening, I decided that Henrietta would have to have gone some to outshine Mother and I. Since Elsie was working at the convention hall, Mother and I had become like school chums, doing each other's hair and helping each other dress, all the while giggling and gossiping like schoolgirls. Much of our conversation, as might be expected, centered on Henry's remarkable and, we were now convinced, sincere conversion and what we could expect to see Henrietta wearing at the ball. Mother agreed to join me in my planned homicide should her new daughter outshine us both. We had done our hair like Henrietta's in Mr. Gibson's style, not missing the irony that we two true females were taking our hairstyle cues from a faux femme fatal. Since my beau, Stalwart was escorting me (who else !!) I decided that I would dress to 'set the hook', so to speak. I must admit to a bit of jealousy that my little brother had become engaged before me. The Gibson style allowed my neck to show to advantage and my gown left my shoulders bare, without a hint of blemish, while its decollate allowed just a glimpse of my bosom. I could wish its color red to inflame, but being a proper lady I had settled for a dusty rose satin that I hoped would more subtly encourage such a response. Mother had loaned me the necklace and earrings she had worn to her debutante ball, and they were splendid. Overall, I was quite pleased. Mother, while dressed more conservatively as befitted a more mature married lady, was still quite beautiful, and if, the light in Father's eyes upon seeing her was any judge, she had upon him the same effect I hoped to elicit from Stalwart.
By the way, I have found out the reason for his unusual but, in its generic sense, appropriate name. He had been born during the Garfield campaign to staunch Stalwart Republican parents and by the time of the assassination and its unfortunate connection with the Stalwarts, it was too late to change it. How he, with such parents, ended up progressive enough to sympathize with my views and the cause of women's suffrage, I do not know; I am just glad it is so.

As we exited the salon tent and entered the main tent, we saw Henrietta: "Emily Wentworth took an ax and gave her SISTER forty whacks; when she saw what she had done, she gave her BROTHER forty one!" was the paraphrase of that bit of school yard doggerel that ran through my mind. She was absolutely gorgeous, and if she had an equal, it was not Mother or I, Patricia standing beside her. Henrietta had not changed her hair, and Patricia had done hers to match. As had been the case this afternoon, she was wearing a dress almost exactly like mine, only in emerald green. Patricia's was nearly the same only in the red that I had eschewed! And what HAD Patricia done to create such a realistic hint of bosom peeking from Henrietta's decollate? Their jewelry sparkled to match their sparkling eyes. Henrietta's eyes sparkled with anticipation of a new world opening, Patricia's with love and pride. I knew I would give Stalwart such a smack if he even looked at Henrietta below the neck! I glanced at Mother and saw her beaming with the pride that a mother can only feel for a daughter with whom she is well pleased. Strangely, I felt no jealousy that that look was not bestowed on me; this was clearly, Henrietta's night, and, I had to admit, rightly so.

We approached the two, and hugs and air kisses commenced. Stalwart approached and I introduced him to Patricia and Henrietta. Stalwart had met Henry on several occasions, but I could tell that he had no thought but that he was being introduced to two beautiful women - three, actually, because Elsie joined us at that moment. having, as I mentioned, only ever seen her in her uniform, I was again amazed at how lovely she was, although she, like I and even Patricia, took second to Henrietta. During the whole time we were together, Stalwart did NOT glance below my sister's neck - nor Elsie's, nor Patricia's. He had, as a matter of fact, after politeness had been discharged, eyes only for me, and I knew then that I WOULD be Mrs. Stalwart Hall. If I have not disgraced my female intuition, I will be able to announce that very fact tomorrow evening.

Stalwart took me off to dance, and I lost track of Henrietta till several dances had passed. As Stalwart guided me off the dance floor in search of some refreshments, I noticed her again, standing on the edge of the floor looking rather wistfully out over the dancers. It struck me then that while Henry may have known how to dance (Mother had spent a small fortune on him when he was younger.) Henrietta did not. I was about to go over to her when I saw Patricia moving toward her from the other side of the floor. Before either of us could reach her, who should approach her but Father! I know I am not imagining things because Elsie had taken a moment of respite from her beau and had taken up once again her sketch pad. Below is a visual record. As I had totally underestimated Elsie, I had done so also with Father. As I think on it Father has always been there for me whenever I have needed him, but I had thought of him up to today as a rather out of date stuffed shirt of a man, working as he did in the ultraconservative world of banking and finance. Oh, how my eyes have been opened ... in so many ways!

Now realize, that while I am referring to Henrietta and using appropriate feminine pronouns, all of us were aware in the back of our minds that that exquisitely feminine creature WAS male, was my brother. Most men of my fathers age confronted with a son so womanly in appearance and demeanor, would have been thoroughly disgusted and deemed him at the most mild, to use my brother's phrase, a sissy pants, even if they knew, as was the case with my brother yesterday, that he had been forced into the role. To know that their male offsprings were voluntarily adopting, proudly adopting, the role, would result in rage and perhaps the disowning of the hapless boys. My father stood before his beautiful son, his son who was garbed in an exquisite evening gown, crowned with a lovely ladies' hairstyle, who was gazing at him with a face that had to rival that of Helen of Troy, and smiled! He looked into Henrietta's eyes and messages were sent and received as she raised her hand and he took it in his and, bringing it to his lips, kissed it. He led her onto the dance floor and the band began to play. At that point, I also realized that my father had a sense of humor, as he had obviously requested the band to play the music to which they would dance, "The Gay Deceiver Waltz." Watching Henrietta in Father's arms, I could tell the moment she recognized the tune, as she threw back her head and laughed. The rest of the dancers, who had been a bit shocked at Father's choice and had hesitated to react till they saw how Henrietta would take such a musical statement of her condition, now joined with her in laughter, as they all spun around the floor.

After a complete circle of the floor, during which any awkwardness on Henrietta's part disappeared under Fathers superb guidance, father and daughter-for-an-evening came to a stop where Patricia was standing at the edge of the floor. Father bowed to Henrietta and passed her into the arms of her fiancee. As they whirled away, Patricia taking the man's part, I saw him standing there straight as an arrow gazing with what had to be pride at the couple. Mother joined him and her look held the same pride, only directed at that moment at him. Stalwart, having been appraised of Henrietta's true nature and the circumstances of the days events, whispered in my ear, without a hint of condemnation - in fact, with sincere appreciation - "My lord your brother makes a beautiful woman!" Because he then added, gazing into my eyes, "The second most beautiful woman in the Wentworth family!", I became, I'm sure, the happiest woman at the ball. Lord, I am proud of my father, and I shall let him know that that is so; however, I do not think I will appraise Mother of the fact that she placed third!"

By the time Stalwart brought me home, by the long route I might add, Mother and Father had already retired. I, myself, while tired, wanted both to hear what i suspected was the 'other half' of my brother's story and share some quality feminine conversation about my glorious, glorious evening with Stalwart and my hopes for the morrow. At that time I only anticipated having a sister for another day and, always having felt deprived for not having one, had decided to make the most of my time with her. Even with Henry a changed man for having experienced his feminine side, I cannot imagine I would feel free to converse girlishly with him were he not dressed the part.

Elsie had been returned home by her beau and was back into her uniform when I arrived. I asked her if she didn't feel a bit like Cinderella having to be a maid again after having attended the ball. I did not think I could be prouder of my parents than I already was, but when she responded by telling me that in almost any other household, even those here in enlightened Seneca Falls, that might very well be the case, but that Mother, and Father and I treated her with such courtesy that she could not help but feel that, while an employee, we all considered her an equal human being, I became more so. I blushed, though, as I believed that she had included me out of courtesy to my presence, I having realized during the day how little effort i had put into getting to know her. She went on to mention that while Henry had certainly been the 'fly in the ointment' of her employment, she had always felt he had a good heart and that there was a bit of a woman's soul lurking within, which had certainly been proved true in most dramatic fashion today. She and Henrietta, she said, were now fast friends and that she just knew come Monday, she and Henry would be also. She then presented me with the transcript of Henry's speech and the two sketches she had made, for which I thanked her profusely as she unlaced me and helped me into my nightgown and robe ( both in a pale rose shade). At that point, I heard the door open followed by a heartfelt sigh of pleasure and "Oh, Patricia." Upon the doors closing several minutes later, Elsie and I having resisted by a narrow margin the impulse to go and peek at the lovers from the stairwell, I asked Elsie to attend Henrietta and to ask her to join me in my bedroom; I also indicated that she was welcome to join us as our dear girlfriend. She thanked me but declined, saying, much as Mother had earlier, that this was a time for just sister and sister to converse. At her leaving, I opened "Graustark" a romance that Stalwart, of all people, had recommended to me. Is there a feminine side to all men? Well, now that I think on it, there must be, mustn't there, in all decent men. I Intending to read till my sister appeared, but was so 'keyed up' that I simply fidgeted till she floated into the room.

Yes, floated. I supposed that till that moment a small cynical part of me had expected that it would be Henry who would appear, having paid off his hired actress, laughing at me for my falling for his elaborate hoax. Not so. Henry was NOT present in the room! I could not get a word in edgewise as Henrietta raved on about the charms, beauty, and grace of the wondrous Patricia ad infinitum. This was no MAN describing HIS lady love; one could only imagine one of Sappho's daughters raising a prayer of adoration to her goddess lover in the rose marble temple on the Isle of Lesbos. (I know I am not supposed to know of such things, Mother, but if you are reading this it serves you right to know that your heretofore thought of as pristine daughter does!)

I was eventually forced to resort to stuffing one of my evening gloves, The pair of which, having been hidden by my covers, Elsie had not found to put away, into my eloquent sister's mouth on one of the few times I actually caught her taking a breath. She sputtered but, upon removing it, had the grace to apologize, not for what she had said, but for the length of saying it and, unknowing of the consequence, asked me how my evening with Stalwart had progressed. Had I been a gunner on the USS Oregon in pursuit of Admiral Cervera's fleet at the Battle of Santiago Bay, I could not have unleashed a salvo of explosive shells near as great as the salvo of ennobling verbiage I released in praise of my Knight in Shinning Armor. When I announced that I was sure that he would "pop the question" tomorrow, possibly in some secluded forest glen to which he would lead me from the heavily populated areas of the picnic grounds, Henrietta screeched and threw her arms around me. "Oh, sis," she exclaimed for joy, "we shall be engaged together!" I squealed and hugged her back and, as we had been both kneeling on my mattress, we bounced up and down, both squealing, till we were quite out of breath. We had acted, I was embarrassed to admit to myself, much like Patricia and I when, on an overnight stay at age 13, she had revealed to me how she was sure John Pinkerton had left a rose in her hat box that day at school. *Oh, well.* I thought, *Henrietta is not even a week old, let alone 13!*

Finally, with our romantic natures satisfied, I requested that MY BROTHER tell me what went between the lines of what Henrietta had spoken at the convention. I was amazed; one moment there was absolutely no doubt that there was my one hundred percent sister Henrietta kneeling across from me, the next it was ... well, not Henry exactly, at least not the old Henry, but a sort of Hybrid - Henry in the role of Henrietta, casting off the role for a moment while still staying enough into it to readopt it at a moments notice, but on the other hand, quite ready to abandon the outward signs of it for a return to pants, should that be desired. They, for there was I felt, at that moment in time almost two separate but joined entities occupying the body before me, much like a mental version of the Siamese twins we had seen at the Exposition in Chicago ten years ago - they, in fact, asked me just that, which I preferred physically at that moment, Henrietta or Henry, a male or female outward appearance. I replied that I was rather enjoying my sister and that I could wait till Monday to see her in pants!

He informed me that what Henrietta had spoken from the podium that afternoon was true and sincere. That his love for Patricia and his surety of her love for him had the day before brought about an epiphany. His reference to Saul and the road to Damascus was, he admitted, somewhat overly dramatic, but it was true, he had come to believe, that love conquers all. Given that my brother IS in love and therefore most likely does believe Patricia to be at least to some extent divine, I replied that I could, and had accepted that, but felt that there was more to my new sister's story than what had been revealed at the convention. He smiled. "Ah, sis," he said, "you know me too well."

He arranged himself into a slightly more masculine position on the bed and proceeded to give me that part of his conversion that diverged from the altruistic. A by-product of his epiphany, he told me, was that complaint and self pity - but not necessarily self interest - were cast aside and he began to think clearly again, partly about how to atone for his sins, but also partly about how to save himself. As a result of what Mother and I had done to him and what, under my direction, he was doing to himself, he concluded that if, upon the morrow, when released from skirts, he simply went back to being Henry, even though acting as he had become, the new and improved Henry, he would be ruined. Women would not trust that his conversion was sincere and men would, he knew, since he would have done the same had he been in their shoes, brand him a weak willed sissy pants and make his life miserable from then on. Since several men he knew planned also to attend Harvard, he knew that that reputation would follow him there. He would also, he said, though having rid himself of his own, wear around his neck those two Dickensonian chains forged by his companions in crime Charles and Daniel, who, he discovered at the tea following the afternoon at the convention, had not undergone similar spiritual epiphanies, and would certainly continue in the ways that had gotten them, and him, into trouble in the first place.

I told Henry that I had overheard Charles and Danial's mother talking with Priscilla Parker and Hilda Johnston, the two young ladies at the tea, saying that since Charles and Daniel did not seem to have learned anything from the day's experience, more time as Charlene and Danielle might be necessary. Priscilla agreed and suggested that since they were acting like babies, perhaps the two "girls" should in the future be dressed more in line with their behavior. Hilda gleefully had volunteered herself and Priscilla to baby sit, as they had much experience in that occupation and in the "hairbrush" method of dealing with recalcitrant children. The humorous part, I told him, was that Mrs. Cooper had asked Mother to invite those two particular young ladies because she knew that the two boys were "sweet" on them and thus would be doubly humiliated to have the two see them in such ridiculous feminine garb. If, beforehand, I giggled, Priscilla and Hilda had reciprocated the two's romantic feelings, it was certainly clear that they no longer did so!

Henry said that he had suspected as much, and was even afraid that Mother and I might do the same to him if he did not show in some dramatic way that he had "shaped up."

I mentioned, amid more giggles, that "shaped up" given the feminine form before my eyes, was a quite suitable expression for what he had done, and he got quite a chuckle out of that. I went on to tell him that he had at least not been in danger of an extended girlhood, as Mrs. Cooper, upon leaving, had related her decision to Mother and I but had told us that at least our Henry appeared to have learned from his experience and trusted that such drastic measures as she and Priscilla and Hilda had planned for "her two little rufflebustles" would not be necessary in his case.

He was glad of that, but stated that, of course, he did not know that yesterday as he was contemplating his future. He WAS afraid that if he did nothing, adopted a neutral attitude so to speak, we would find him guilty by association. He was afraid that Mother and I, while not seeing the old behavior would, not seeing any new and dramatic positive behavior, be disappointed, perhaps to the extent of devising plans for more time in skirts for him, but he was even more afraid, terrified actually, of losing Patricia. With his new viewpoint, he had wondered why on earth she had accepted the proposal from such an immature chauvinistic fool as he had been. What could he do, and do soon, that would be dramatic enough to instantly convince the women. and particularly The Woman he cared most about in the whole world, of the validity and sincerity of his abrupt change of heart and mind, and earn the respect of the men who might otherwise think him weak and to be laughed at or pitied ?

I believe that what my brother then told me is so important that I am going to try and quote him now. I shan't be as accurate as earlier, because, unlike Elsie, I had neither the means , opportunity, nor skills to write it down. (Elsie has agreed to let me borrow her shorthand text, and I WILL learn it!) My memory is quite good, though, and I believe that if what I transcribe is not word for word, it is at least true to the spirit of what he said.

"As I pondered the problem," he said to me, I was, of course, still acting as you had taught me - lessons I had readily accepted because I believed they were the way women actually did behave - even though I now knew them to be wrong. The thought came to me that it wasn't so much the clothes, the outward appearance, that made was making me a subject of ridicule, it was my clearly visible attitude toward wearing them and my ridiculous behavior - thank you, sister dear - while wearing them; I realized I was not fooling anyone. I could imagine now that to the women watching I was not silly, but insulting as I had made it clear that I was feeling humiliated and degraded by having to wear the clothing of those I thought my inferiors."

I was amazed at his insight, because, as I wrote yesterday, that is exactly how I was feeling.

"And then it came to me. What if I voluntarily wore the clothing the clothing you women wear everyday, not a ridiculous outfit such as you had me wearing, and wore it proudly, and worked alongside you for the cause I now believed in. What if I looked a woman, a real one, a lady like you, sis, or Mother or Patricia, or Mrs. Stanton, head to toe and acted as one as a tribute to women rather than an insult. Women could not doubt my sincerity. Among men, the sight of a man acting humiliated usually leads other men to suspect, consciously or unconsciously, that he deserves to be humiliated. The reverse is true also. If I carried out my plan men would know that I was standing up for what I believed and they would respect me for it, I believed. And so my personal problems relating to my masculine reputation would be solved by acting feminine, truly feminine. Irony is wonderful, is it not, sis."

"I needed help, but I did not wish to go to either you or Mother because I knew that whatever I did had to convince you as well as everyone else. I decided to consult Elsie, who had worked with me during the evening and had not laughed at me or belittled me. As we ascended the steps after completing the cleanup, I asked her to help me prepare for bed, as I knew I could not unlace myself. She giggled and said she would come directly to my room to help me the same as she regularly helped you and Mother."

When I explained my desire and my thoughts on how to achieve it, Elsie told me that she thought that I would make a lovely young lady, that she had seen me changing throughout the evening, and that I was a very courageous man to bring out and publicly embrace my feminine nature. Amazingly to me, I found my self not only not humiliated and horrified by her statement, as I'm sure I would have been 24 hours earlier at even the hint that I had a feminine nature, but feeling proud that I had one and even anxious to allow it room to grow. Elsie told me, though, that I would be better served by discussing things with Patricia and securing her help. She said she would go to Patricia in the early morning with a message from me and bring back her reply."

"I did as Elsie had suggested, and she did convey the note to Patricia early this morning. My Dear Love wrote back telling me that she thought it was a wonderful idea, to come to her house immediately and she would help me prepare. With my new attitude, sis, it was actually fun, as I entered totally into the spirit of a young lady preparing to uphold her cause with her girlfriend, and to have fun doing it. That was most important Patricia told me - that to for my plan to work, I could not just act the part, I had to BE that young lady and that doing so would indeed test the sincerity of my conversion to the limits."

"It was so strange, sis, by the time we reached the chautauqua grounds, I no longer felt as if I was wearing a costume, I was simply wearing MY clothes. Up until you asked to speak to me just now; I WAS totally Henrietta. I know this because - and here I will tell you a manly secret: Men stand up to urinate. (I already knew that!) - but without thinking, I entered the ladies salon and water closet and sat to do so. I was out side again before I realized what I had done - and that only because Patricia, having gone in with me, was grinning and applauding me."

And then my brother really shocked me, as he said ...

"Do you know, sis, I rather like being Henrietta. When I was in Fathers' arms dancing - wasn't that so wonderful of him to do that with me! - I felt safe and protected and ... comfortable. I felt the same with Patricia as she took the man's part. I remarked on this to Patricia, and she told me that that was how she felt dancing with me as Henry. Is that how you feel when dancing with Stalwart? Patricia has told me that she quite likes Henrietta and would not be adverse to having her visit from time to time. Do you like having a sister, Emily? Would you like Henrietta to visit occasionally after tomorrow?

"Yes!" escaped from my mouth before I had time to consciously think upon the question. Immediately, Henrietta was back, and we once again bounced and squealed like schoolgirls. I must write a letter of commendation to J.W. Worthington and Sons, Boston, the firm which manufactured my bed, mattress, and pillows, as the fact those things did not break or tear under the strain of our girlish glee is a tribute to the quality of their work.

When finally we wound down, I told my dear brother/sister how proud I was of her and would be of him come Monday. I sent Henrietta off to spend the night in Henry's room, giving her one of my dolls from childhood to sleep with so as to mitigate somewhat the masculine atmosphere there and insure lovely feminine dreams. I then commenced to write this account.

Today a proposal of sisterhood from my brother, and tomorrow I will be the ecstatic recipient of Stalwart's proposal of marriage, I just know it !!!

And don't think any of us ladies have forgotten my father's declaration at the convention that he would attend our proposed slumber gathering in appropriate feminine garb. I plan to suggest to mother tomorrow that since Henrietta has expressed a desire to return from time to time, that she and I should arrange a 'slumber party' for a week hence and invite Henrietta, Patricia, Elsie, and a new girl, 'Georgette' ... Had you not already guessed, Father's first name is George!

By this time tomorrow I will be the future Mrs. Stalwart Hall !!

Good night.

PS - Perhaps mother would like to invite Mrs. Cooper to our party next week if Father is not too nervous about his womanly debut. I know we all would like to know what has transpired for those two adorable "rufflebustles", Charlene and Danielle.

End of entry

(Joyce Emily Hall, Vaingirls, Chicago, 1983: Stalwart did propose the next day, in much the manner Emily expected. I am their great-granddaughter. I found Emily's diary in a locked box in my father's bedroom closet when cleaning up his effects following his death in 1981. The key was in his safe deposit box. from the condition of the lock on the box, I doubt he ever opened it. I started Vaingirls never imagining that my penchant for feminizing males for their own good might be hereditary! In addition, it turns out that my friend and colleague Elizabeth, a transsexual woman, has as her fiancé Stuart Wentworth who is, I discovered upon an investigation sparked by the diaries, the great-grandson of Henry and Patricia. Life certainly is strange.)