Rachel's Complicated Life, Chapter 6

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Rachel finds hope...and a new friend!

Chapter 6

Fallout and Hope

The drive home from the church was quiet, the only sound was Rachel’s muffled crying. Garrett held his sister in the back seat of the family’s SUV, whispering to her that it would be all right, and not to listen to what a few idiots had to say. Rachel had a tight grip on Garrett’s arm, and her head was buried in his chest. Garrett was angry, angry that his father had been such an ass about Rachel being a boy, angry that people had to be so narrow minded, angry that the same hypocrites who called Rachel a whore were so sad and patronizing at his father’s funeral. He knew one thing. He wouldn’t go back there. Ever.

Gina was having difficulty driving. Hot tears were rolling down her cheeks. She cursed herself for pushing Rachel into such a potentially damaging situation. Gina didn’t realize that people would or could be so hateful to a twelve year old. What were they thinking? Gina had been a church going person most of her life. Her parents brought her up that way, and she enjoyed going. It was important to her. She thought she would find people who would at least understand what she was going through. The Bufords had been so helpful and supportive when Randy had been killed. What happened to them? The Nickles had even helped the family move from the base to their new house. Gina felt violated and betrayed. How could they say such terrible things about her sweet little girl?

Rachel was devastated by her treatment. She kind of expected some snide remarks, but she felt hated there. Her self confidence was shattered. But through it all, she felt safe in her brother’s arms, safe like she had never felt before, even with her mother. Garrett was only two years older than Rachel, but he seemed ages older. Her father had never held her when she was frightened. He told Randall to “be a man” and “stop crying”. Her crying slowed and stopped as she tried to snuggle closer to her brother. He would protect her. She suddenly felt very sleepy.

Rachel was sleeping when they got home. Garrett picked Rachel up out of the Explorer and quietly carried her upstairs to her room. Gina turned down her bed, and Garrett laid her down.

Garrett left the bedroom and Gina looked down at her sleeping angel. She bent down, kissed her cheek and turned to leave.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, honey?”

“Don’t leave me, ok? Stay with me.”

“Ok, baby”

Gina laid down with Rachel. Within a minute or two, Rachel was sleeping again.

Gina thought, “She called me mommy.” She knew that she needed to call Julie as soon as she could, as Rachel was really hurting. This incident was exactly the wrong thing to happen to Rachel at this point in her treatment. She decided to quietly get up and call Julie.
“Hello?” said Julie as she answered her cell phone.

“Julie? This is Gina Harris. Can you talk for a bit?”

“Sure! What’s up?”

Gina related the events of the morning to Julie. Julie took it all in without saying a word.
Finally, Julie spoke.

“You say she called you mommy?”

“Yes”

“Has she ever called you that before?”

“Not since she was four”

“Ok, from what I have heard, I believe Rachel is regressing. The emotional blow that this event caused her was very serious, and she is having a hard time dealing with it. Her defense mechanism is to go back to a stage in her life when she felt safe. I need to speak with her as soon as possible. Can I see her today?”

“Absolutely. I just need to get her up and into the car”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll come there in about an hour. Stay with her. It’s important that you be there for her when she wakes up”

Gina hung up the phone and went back upstairs. Rachel was still sleeping. Garrett came quietly into the room.

“Mom, I don’t mean to pile on, but I’m not going back there”

“It’s ok Garrett, I don’t blame you. I won’t either”

“Is Rachel going to be ok?

“Yes, I think so. Julie is coming here from Austin to talk to her. She’ll be here in about an hour”

“Mom, If I’d been older, some of those men would have had a big problem on their hands”

“I wish I could say you were out of line, but I can’t. I wanted to just slap those men. I just can’t believe they would say such hurtful things about Rachel”

“Well, I need to forget it. Would you like anything?”
“Do you know how to make coffee”

“Yeah, I remember. I’ll get you some”

Julie Smith arrived at the Harris home art about two in the afternoon. Garrett answered the door and showed Julie up to Rachel’s room.

“She’s still sleeping” Gina whispered.

“That’s ok, Gina, I need to talk with you first”

“What’s up?”

“I’m not about blame here. It probably wasn’t the best idea to take Rachel to church. People can be unpredictable in that setting, and more likely to speak ill of someone who they perceive as being different in a bad way. That being said, hindsight is 20/20. The next few hours will determine if Rachel gets past this hurt and moves on or lets it get the best of her and causes irreparable harm. I’m going to have you leave now and I’ll wake her”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her”

Gina left reluctantly. Julie stirred the sleeping child.

“Wake up, Rachel”

“Mommy?” she said sleepily.

“No, honey, it’s Julie.”

“Julie? Where’s my mommy?”

“She’s out in the hall, honey. I wanted to talk to you for a while. Is that ok?”

“Ok” Rachel said in a little girl voice that sounded like a six year old.

“You had a bad morning, Didn’t you”

“Uh huh” came the quiet reply.

“Some people were mean to you today, weren’t they”

“Yes” A single tear flowed down Rachel’s cheek.

For the next hour, Rachel and Julie talked about the events of the day. There were tears, angry screams, and finally the room was quiet.

“Rachel, people can be mean. People can be cruel. But no matter how they treat you, no matter what they say, It’s what you know in your heart about yourself that is important. You are a very brave young lady with a sweet spirit that is going through a very rough time right now. Do you want to know something?”

“Yes”

“If those mean men who called you all those nasty names had to go through the same things you are going through, they wouldn’t go out of the house, they would suck their thumbs and the would be crying for THEIR mommy! And you were brave enough to go to church, and you listened to their nasty words and you were very, very brave”

Rachel smiled. “Do you really think they would be sucking their thumbs?”

“You bet! Now, are you ready to see your mother?”

“Yes”

“Call her in in a nice, loud voice”

“MOMMMMMMM”

Gina came in and ran to Rachel’s bed, and held her tight.

“I’m so sorry I took you there, baby” sobbed the broken hearted Gina.

“It’s ok, Mom Those mean men don’t know any better”

Gina laughed and cried at the same time. “You are sooo right, honey! I’ll never let anyone hurt you like that again”

“Mom, you can’t stop people from being mean, but I don’t have to let them hurt me by being mean. Julie showed me that”

“Thank you, Julie” said Gina

“She’ll be fine. She’s strong, stronger than she knows. You two take care, and I’ll see you next Friday, ok?”

“We’ll be there”

“Oh, one more thing. I have a surprise for Rachel tomorrow. Make sure you are home at eleven o’clock in the morning. I have someone stopping by to see you”
“A surprise for me?” Rachel said excitedly.

“Just for you, for being such a brave girl”

“Coool!”

The rest of the night, Rachel was back to being the ebullient, talkative child she was before the incident at the church. Gina felt like she had passed her baptism of fire, ironically at a church. Garrett was amazed at Rachel’s transformation. They played Scrabble, ate popcorn and watched a DVD of The first Lord of the Rings movie, one of Rachel’s favorites.

The next morning, Rachel was out of bed at seven thirty. She ran downstairs and screeched a loud “Good Morning” to her mother.

“Well, hello, sleepyhead” said Gina.

“Where’s Garrett?”

“He’s long gone to school, baby”

“Well, isn’t he the lucky one”

“Don’t worry, young lady, when the homeschool curriculum that I ordered arrives, you’ll be busy bright and early every morning!”

“I hope the mail gets lost”

“Don’t count on it, Rachel. It’s coming Fed Ex”

“Rats”

Rachel ate her breakfast of cereal and juice, and got ready for her day. It was unseasonably warm for a fall day in central Texas, so she chose a pair of short jean shorts and a white plaid short sleeve cotton blouse. She did her makeup as usual, finding that she was getting faster all the time. She was very excited for the guest that was coming to see her. She wondered who it could be.

The hours dragged by, and Rachel did what she could the help the time pass. She cleaned her room, took out the trash, vacuumed the floors and dusted the counters.

“Slow down, honey! You won’t leave me anything to do!”

Rachel had always liked to do housework, even when she was being raised as Randall, something her father could never understand.

Finally, at eleven o’clock exactly, the doorbell rang. Rachel ran to the door and and pulled it open. On the porch stood a tall, beautiful blond haired woman. Her hair was shoulder length, and had a slight wave. She was dressed impeccably in a white Blouse and a black pencil skirt. Her her 3 inch black heels made her almost a foot taller than Rachel. Her face was perfectly made up, and she looked to Rachel like a princess.

“Rachel?” the woman asked.

All of a sudden Rachel realized she was staring. She blushed bright red. “Yes, I’m Rachel”

“Hi! I’m Brianna DiMaggio, and Julie Smith asked me to come see you today”

Rachel loved Brianna’s voice. It was a smooth contralto with a hint of a Texas accent, that immediately put Rachel at ease.

Gina came to the door. “Oh, you must be the person Julie mentioned yesterday. Well, Rachel, let her in!”

“Ok, Mom. come in, Brianna”

Brianna introduced herself to Gina.

“Please, Brianna, sit down” said Gina. “Can I get you anything?”

“Coffee would be nice, please”

“So, Brianna, to what do we owe the honor of your visit today?” asked Gina.

“Julie thought I might be able to help Rachel with some of the issues she is facing now. I’ve known Julie since college, and when she told me about your story, I had to come and visit this special girl”

Rachel blushed again and stared at the floor. “I’m not special”

“Oh yes you are, and don’t you forget it. I heard some people were mean to you yesterday”

Rachel got quiet. “Yes, and that made me very sad”

“I know exactly how you feel. Some people are like that to me even today.”

“How could they be mean to you, you are so beautiful and nice. Everybody should be nice to you”

“Rachel, you are beautiful too! Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Yet those people were mean and said hateful things to you just the same”

“But I'm different from you. I kind of changed how I grew up. I dressed like a boy, but I always knew I was a girl. I don’t even really have boy parts, at least that’s what the doctor said”

“Honey, can I tell you a secret?” Asked Brianna quietly.

“Yes” came the whispered reply.

“When I was born, My name was Brian”

“Really? No faking?” asked Rachel. Gina gasped, but said nothing.

“Cross my heart. When I was a little boy, I felt just like you did. I just knew I was a little girl. I didn’t like the things my brothers liked, I hated the icky clothes. I loved to play dolls with my girl friends. I loved to help my Mama in the kitchen and in the house. My brothers didn’t understand. They called me names and made fun of me. My Daddy didn’t like me either. As time went on I got sadder and sadder Eventually, when I was just about twelve, I did something very dumb. I hurt myself. I hurt myself so badly I had to go to the hospital. While I was in the hospital, a very nice doctor came to talk to me, just like you and Julie. Well, I told that doctor that I knew I was a little girl and couldn’t go on living like a boy. I was afraid if I went on living, I would just try to hurt myself again. The nice doctor understood my problem and talked to my parents. My Daddy was very angry with me, and my Mama was sad, but understood my problem. I talked to the doctor over the next few months by myself and with my parents. Eventually my Mama and Daddy understood how I felt, and I got to start living as a girl”

“Wow” was all Rachel could say

“Well, it wasn’t easy for me to begin with. People made fun of me all the time at school. I didn’t have many friends, and some boys tried to hurt me, but the teachers stopped them. Even some girls didn’t like me and called me ‘little boy’ which really hurt me a lot. The friends I did have were the best, and cared about me no matter what anybody else said. My Mama and Daddy were the best. My Daddy became my best friend in the whole world. Then he died of a heart attack when I was seventeen. I thought my world ended. Later that year, I was on a date with a boy who I thought liked me, but one night he hurt me very badly with a knife when I didn’t do what he wanted. I was very sad, but I knew that I would keep going for my father. My school found a way for me to get banned from my high school graduation by having someone lie about me. But nothing was going to stop me. My Daddy wouldn’t like that. After high school I got a special surgery to fix myself so I was a girl physically. That was very painful, but I didn’t give up. Eventually, I went to college, graduated, and got my law degree. Today, I help people just like you and me fight back against people like the mean people who called you names yesterday”

Tears were streaming down Gina’s face. Rachel was in awe of Brianna. She had thought she was alone in the world. For the first time, she knew she wasn’t.

“Rachel, don’t let anyone tell you that you are anything other than a beautiful person. There are girls like us all over the place. Some don’t look like you or me, but they are beautiful too. One of my best girl friends looks a little like my daddy in a dress, but she is one of the prettiest girls I know, because her beauty comes from the inside. Rachel, living your life the best you can is all that you can hope to do in this world. That’s what all my special girl friends are doing. You know what? They are all beautiful to me. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t do what ever you want. If you can dream it you can have it. And you know what, people told me I would never be happy. Well, I am very happy, and I love helping girls just like you"

“That’s a wonderful story, Brianna”, said Rachel. “do you think it can happen with me?”

“If you want it to, Rachel. That’s exactly what I’m telling you”

“So no matter what people say, I just have to keep going?”

“That’s right. Don’t give up. The things people say may hurt, but they don’t win unless you let them”

“I believe you, Brianna. I’ll do just that. Thank you for telling me your story”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart” replied Brianna. “Now, could you do something for me?”

“Anything, Brianna”

“Here’s my card. You are now my friend. Anytime you feel scared, threatened or just want to talk, You call the number on that card. Can you do that for me?”

“Coool, Brianna!” replied an excited Rachel. “Can I, Mom”

“You most certainly can, dear”

“Rachel, can your Mom and I talk alone for a little bit”

“Sure! I’ll take your card upstairs to put on my board”

Rachel ran upstairs, happy to have found a new friend.

“Gina, things are going to get worse before they get better. The jackasses who caused you trouble aren’t going to go away easily. The media will no doubt get involved at some point, especially if she tries to go back to school in the future. I take it you are homeschooling for now?”

“Yes”

“Excellent plan. Let Rachel get comfortable with herself before you turn her loose on an unsuspecting world” Brianna smiled. “Your little girl has a lot of character and I’ll bet anything that she’ll be just fine”

“Thank you, Brianna”

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to represent you and Rachel from now on. There will be no shortage of people in this area who would love to make Rachel’s life a living hell”

“That’s a generous offer, Brianna, but here’s no way I can afford your services. Just getting Rachel counseling from Julie is a strain on my budget. And she’s really not charging me that much compared to what she’s doing”

Brianna smiled again. “Who said anything about charging you? This is pro bono, in lawyer speak. Free.”

“I can’t ask you to do that, Brianna. You have no idea how expensive things could get if they get as bad as you say”

“Gina, I don’t need the money. You see, I didn’t tell you my father’s name”

“What was it”

“Jack. Jack DiMaggio. DiMaggio Oil?”

“Your father founded DiMaggio Oil?”

“The one and only. Our family made $4.8 billion on the sale of the DiMaggio Oil holdings when we sold out to Exxon Mobil. With the investments I have made for Mama, we have tripled that amount. So, I think I can take a little free work. Besides I already see that girl as the sister I never had. She was me all those years ago. And If any one of these backwater huckleberrys ever makes the mistake of messing with that little girl, well they don’t call me the ‘Austin Barracuda’ for nothing”

“Well, in that case, welcome aboard!’ exclaimed Gina. “And thank you so much!”

After Brianna left, the doorbell rang again. Gina answered it and Pastor Adams stood at the door. He looked nervous.

“Can I help you” asked Gina frostily.

“May I come in?”

“No”

“Well, I’m not happy about the way you were treated at the service yesterday. Is Rachel all right?”

“She is now. No thanks to you or any one at your ‘church’”

“I suppose I had that coming”

“Why are you here?”

“Well, I came to tell you the board took a vote, and you are being asked not to return until you correct your son’s behavior”

“What did Garrett do?”

“I meant Randall”

Gina felt the bile rise in her throat “Pastor Adams, you can tell your ‘board’ that they can go straight to hell. Good day”

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Comments

Good chapter, but Gina

Good chapter, but Gina should have smacked the pastor with a couple of quotes from the bible. First one would be...

"Mark 10:14 Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of God"

And then hit him with

'Mt 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea."

On the other hand... the pastor and his board might be too dense to understand just what they were doing. In which case... they can go straight to hell!

Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue

Good point. However..

She was just tired of the whole stupid bunch. Why waste her breath!

Thanks for the comment!

Cindilee

Peace!
Cindilee

Well, I must admit I'm

Well, I must admit I'm prejudiced in the matter and I like to use their own 'words' to irritate 'Sunday' christians, but that's just me. I was dragged to church until I was old enough to stand up on my hind legs and say NO!, so I saw a lot of Sunday Christians and it left marks on me...

BTW, I should mention that I like how Garret stood up and was counted when it mattered. She's lucky to have a brother like that. I hope he continues to be involved in the story too. And I hope to see many more chapters... *grin*

Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue

Don't worry

Much more to come, between work, kids, cleaning, washing...........Writing!!!

Cindilee

Peace!
Cindilee

I am sorrry Brute

Pamreed's picture

Because of how you were treated!! I guess I have been lucky to find a church of true Christians not Sunday Christians!!
I just hope you and everyone here do not think all Christians are like that!! One reason I am out at my church and at my former church
was to enlighten them about what it really means to be trans. I also do speaking at schools and other organiizations. I have made it my
life effort to do this!! I will talk to anyone who will listen!! And I am making progress!! I do not want to take more time here to
explain but I have had proof that my efforts are working!!

Pamela

Thank you for speaking up!

Andrea Lena's picture

...truly what it means to do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God! Thanks again, Pam!


Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

It's exactly what my pastor said.

It's been years ago now. If all that had not happened, I would be perhaps graduating from Bible School, as a Pastor.

Well, it is in the past and that can never be relived. People are what they are, and for me to hate them is judging them. That is exactly what they did to me, but if I truly love God, then I will not do it, but leave that up to him.

Khadijah

Well said

I wish more people had your attitude.

Cindilee

Peace!
Cindilee

Frankly, religious congregations can draw the worst

in humanity as they tend to get those who really can't think for them selves and have to rely on somebody else to define the 'truth' to them. So what happens when something seems to contradict their 'truth', well then they will viciously take apart or destroy that anomaly, lest it destroys their 'bedrock of faith'.

Whatever. Rachel will be strong enough to chart her own spiritual path. She need not be a Judeo-Christian as the middle east does not have a hammer lock on truth.

Kim

Too right.

Some people think a church office gives them the right to spout off. Here's something new. God gave us two ears and one mouth. Hmmmmmmmm.

Cindilee

Peace!
Cindilee

Bad example?

A girlfriend of mine said that meant she had to talk twice as much to fill both ears!

Karen J.

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Ha!

I LOVE that answer!

Cindilee

Peace!
Cindilee

so-called "church people"

"Gina didn’t realize that people would or could be so hateful to a twelve year old. What were they thinking? Gina had been a church going person most of her life. Her parents brought her up that way, and she enjoyed going. It was important to her. She thought she would find people who would at least understand what she was going through. The Bufords had been so helpful and supportive when Randy had been killed. What happened to them? The Nickles had even helped the family move from the base to their new house. Gina felt violated and betrayed. How could they say such terrible things about her sweet little girl?"

Many "Christians" can be so compassionate, until this subject comes up. But I like her response at the end:

“Pastor Adams, you can tell your ‘board’ that they can go straight to hell. Good day”

"Treat everyone you meet as though they had a sign on them that said "Fragile, under construction"

dorothycolleen

DogSig.png

Nasty Person

RAMI

Pastor Adams action by coming to visit seems as if he wanted to pour salt in the wound, rather then accomplish anything positive. Did he truly expect to be invited in? If he had to do the dirty work of his church, then he could have done it by phone or e-mail. His visit is just nasty.

THe Pastor is truly at fault because of what occurred. He was fully aware, after the Saturday Afternoon meeting that Gina, Garrett and Rachel would be in church that Sunday morning. He should have done some things differently. He should have advised them to stay home knowing that the congregation would be hostile, or somehow paved the way for their accepatance, or been better prepared to handle the flack.

Perhaps he is even more evil then most think of him. Perhaps he wanted the situation to escalate inorder to persue some agenda. I wonder if it was him or his wife who spread the gossip about Randall becoming Rachel?

RAMI

RAMI

While his intentions might have been sincere....

Andrea Lena's picture

...you're probably right. The pastor had to know things would be very bad for them when they showed up. Perhaps he felt he could control the situation, but it must have been evident to him that these folks were in a no win situation. He might have been overconfident in his ability to control the situation. A congregation doesn't develop such hatred in a vacuum. What was he teaching them before faced with this family's special needs? Love and acceptance don't just disappear when challenged by the different unless the love and acceptance were conditional and limited in the first place.

It almost seems that the pastor is tolerating them as opposed to loving them? Speculation on my part, but he reminds me of the contrast between the humble man who feels unworthy and the man in prayer who calls attention to how holy he is. I hope for the family's sake that someone will reach out to them and love them as they should be loved; as they are. Great story! Thank you Cindilee.


Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Oh, my!

I noticed your last name is DiMaggio. My mother's maiden name was DiMaggio! I put the name Jack DiMaggio in as a homage to my grandfather.

Interesting!

Cindilee

Peace!
Cindilee

si!

Andrea Lena's picture

...My father's mother's mother was a DiMaggio, and I'm a distant cousin to Vince, Dom and Joe. The family came from a village outside of Palermo, Piana degli Albanesi. (Google Images)

Con grande amore, mi bella sorella, si?

>

Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Rachel's Complicated Life, Chapter 6

I myself am a devout Christian, but I am not a bit like those hypocrites. I am more like Garrett.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

So the board took a vote eh,

So the board took a vote eh, lets see that would the Pastor, the Deacon, and probably a few others who spouted off in the church. Perhaps the legal offer from Brianna was really fortuitous, because I can now see the Pastor and/or Deacon taking this whole issue to another level by going to the press.

Quel surprise

Not entirely surprising the Church Board took a vote on the issue and decided to barr the family. However, given his attitude during the Saturday meeting, you would have thought he could have phrased his news better, rather than directly quoting the board's resolution.

Then again, being the church pastor (presumably for a number of years), you would think he'd know his congregation - and deacons - better than to think he could get away with just tweaking his sermon to fit. As others have said, it might have been more prudent of him to ask them to hold back attending for one week while he 'sounded out' his flock, then had another meeting with them before the following Sunday.

Oh well, perhaps they can find a more enlightened congregation somewhere in town - I'd assume LGBT-friendly churches would be known among the community.

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Pastor Adams and the church board

Go figure! Personally I thought that Gina was being really polite to the pastor. If it were me............!!!

It's really nice that Rachel has so much support. :}

Vivien

Vivi