Knowing Yourself - Chap-25

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Twenty Five

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

Fairy Tales can come True, It Could Happen to You

Tanner and I are up early. The cryptic message from his sister telling us to appear at her working office today about a quarter hour before our scheduled 8:00 meeting, has caused us each some trepidation as we both wonder what she has on her mind. She apparently didn’t enlighten Tanner either. I’m essentially emancipated since dear old Dad signed the papers allowing me to find my own way in life. I think he was hoping I would starve to death. Probably the last thing he expected was that I would need him to sign some more papers.

 © 2010 by Lilith Langtree & Rénae Dáºmas. This work may not be replicated or presented in whole or in part by any means electronic or otherwise without the express consent of the work’s Owner (copyright holder), with the exception of the private and non-commercial viewing by the reader who is also the end purchaser. ALL Rights Reserved, including but not limited to ownership of Characters, final content decision, and more. This is a work of Fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this story are fictional and any resemblance to real people or incidents past, present or future is purely coincidental. Any and all images which may be shown within this work are taken through license under Corel with the exception of the title image which is Photo Credit to Irina Sheik. No affiliations, involvement or gender assignations through the use of these or any images of the subject or subjects contained within those posted images is to be implied, intended or inferred.
An Aldoennetti & Langtree Original.

Tan and I made it through the ‘gauntlet’ without difficulty since I now have photo identification which matches my appearance. The two deputies passing us through without a problem even though my license says ‘male’ on it but has my female photo and name. We make it into her office at twelve minutes to eight.

“Welcome back Katrina, Tan. Katrina would you sit in that chair please?” She pointed to the one on the end before her desk. “Tan would you sit next to her closer toward the center of my desk? Your attorney should be here any minute. He will sit next to you.”

“Who’re the other chairs for, Jen?” Tanner asks as he assists me before sitting down himself.

“That doesn’t matter just yet. I would like to talk with the two of you for a few minutes before your attorney joins us. First of all, Katrina... While you were in Europe I received a great deal of information about you from Doctor Farmington and Doctor Worth as well. Some of what I learned from Doctor Farmington is what I want to discuss with you right now. It could be something you would prefer not to discuss, but I hope you will. Let me assure you, if you don’t want to get someone in trouble over what I want to know, nothing will be done to the individual or individuals. I simply want to confirm what the doctors suspect so we may use it as leverage to protect you until you turn twenty-one. Do you understand what I have said so far?”

I glance at Tanner, who is looking at his sister and then myself like we both just became two headed snakes. Fortunately he opts for silence as the better part of valour at this point, along with confusion.

“I think I understand. I’m not required to tell you anything but if I do you will not use it against anyone except to protect me in the future.”

“That’s right.”

“Okay. Go ahead and if I’m comfortable with talking about whatever it is, I will.”

“Thank you, Katrina.”

Just then her phone rings. After saying, “Yes?” She simply says, “Send her in.”

A few moments later a lady comes in carrying a medium sized machine. Tan’s sis tells the lady to sit at the small table over to the side where she places the machine and awaits further instruction.

Tan’s sister has Tan and I sworn in before instructing that lady to begin to take down everything said from this point on.

Jennifer then turns back to us, “Katrina, you may remember Doctor Farmington had a large number of scans and X-Rays done on you. You were about to leave for Europe when those X-Rays came back and he managed to send me his final results of the preliminary examination about a week and a half after you had gone.

Those scans and X-Rays show an abnormally large number of broken bones. Some have healed apparently satisfactorily but others look like they were never set properly and have not healed quite correctly. This means you must be a little more careful than most people since those might more easily be broken again and could possibly damage internal organs in the process if they should be broken. He said the nature of the injuries he noted indicated severe physical abuse over some time, possibly a very large number of years. Would you care to tell me how such a large number of injuries could have occurred? We know it was not from accidents but more likely from beatings.”

Tanner looks at me as he suddenly understands exactly why I have been having such terrible nightmares.

“Sis. I think it was her father.”

“Tan. Hush. I want her to tell me. Don’t put words in her mouth.”

“Sorry.” He takes my hand and gently holds it while covering it with his other hand.

I don’t want to get my Dad in trouble but I want him stopped from doing it to anyone anymore. I don’t want him to do it to any other family members.

“I... I... used to get beaten in school all the time.”

“Did those beatings break your bones?”

I begin to nod my head but somehow it shakes ‘no’ instead.

“Then how did they get broken? Katrina, I won’t send the person to jail for it, but I will use it as leverage for something I think will help you. Until I know from your own lips, my hands are tied and I can’t do anything.”

I sit there and begin to shake a little, tears beginning to flow from my eyes and down my face. Tanner keeps one hand on mine but puts his arm around me to provide comfort.

“He... They... Beat me.”

“Who beat you, sweetheart?”

“My... Dad. And my... brother.”

“Why did they beat you?”

“Because I looked like a girl. And because the kids at school beat me nearly every day. Dad said he would teach me how to be a man and then he would beat me until I could hardly move. Sometimes my brother would do it too, or he would tell the bullies at school which way I was going to get to class so they could head me off and beat me up.”

“The school did nothing to stop it? Your parents didn’t tell them?”

“N... No. If I was beaten at school then Dad would beat me up at home. Sometimes it was so bad that Mom had to take me to the hospital. Dad said, ‘I should have drowned the little faggot at birth.’ meaning me, more than once. I think he meant it, too.”

Tanner’s sister looks up from her notes she is writing and Tanner holds me tighter then releases a little as though he’s afraid he might squeeze so hard as to break my ribs which may not have healed properly.

His sister looks like she is reconsidering her offer to not jail Dad.

“Katrina. Thank you for being honest with me. I have more information and this is something I want you to spend a lot of time thinking about. By ‘a lot of time’, I mean months, perhaps a year.”

“Okay.”

“Good. Both of the doctors say that the odds of you effectively becoming a male are very low. You have the ‘equipment’ to appear male but your body will unlikely ever become more masculine even if you are given medical assistance. That means you would continue to have the proper external male genitals but could not father children. The doctors would need to go into you and remove the female portions which exist now so they will not cause you future problems and they could also remove your breasts. You would end up with a feminine figure but with male genitals.

However, if you decide to become female; your body already is properly shaped. You have breasts which could likely, with some medical assistance be capable of producing milk or at least appear and be normal for a female. The external male ‘equipment could be removed and your internal female ‘plumbing’...” she emphasized the quote using her fingers to simulate quotation marks, “completed. Again you could not have children of your own since you have no ovaries to produce eggs, but, and this is a very big but, if your uterus could become more developed then you might be able to have a fertilized egg placed into your uterus and bring it to term. That means you might be able to give birth to a child and feed it from your own breasts. There are no guarantees about that though since your uterus is far from completely developed at this time.

Your skeletal structure, especially your pelvic region, is feminine. You could almost be a complete woman rather than an effeminate man. Do you understand me?”

“I think so. That’s something I’ve wondered about a lot over the years but now I have a doctor’s conformation to think about.”

“Good. Now even if you were to decide to go one way or the other, you are not old enough to be allowed to make that medical decision. Yes...” she holds up her hand to halt the comment I was about to make, “I know you’re emancipated and essentially autonomous but there are still certain things which only your father...”

“Oh Great. Then we may as well forget it all because he would rather let me die than allow anything to be done to help me.”

“Katrina, let me finish speaking.”

“Sorry, your honor.”

“Katrina, I’m Jen... not ‘your honor’. I’m trying to help you by hopefully getting your father to sign some papers which would assign all decisions to the court which would allow you to make the choice and to have the necessary things done even if you are not yet twenty one. I intend to use the information about the beatings as a lever to make him think I’ll put him in jail for a long, long time if he doesn’t sign the papers.”

“But you won’t, will you?”

She sighs, “No. But only because I promised you I wouldn’t. If it was up to me I would have him arrested and tried for attempted homicide. As it is, that is what I am going to tell him I will do if he fails to cooperate. I may need to send him to jail for a few days to get him to see reason but I don’t want you to say anything. Just sit there. Understand me?”

Dad might go to jail? But only for a few days so he will give me permission to have the medical assistance I need. “I understand, I won’t say anything. And I’ll continue modeling so he won’t be forced to pay for my medical bills. He’ll probably begin screaming about that.”

“All right. It helps me to know that, but I may require him to pay into a fund to be used in the future should any of the injuries you have already received become a problem in the future. Getting him to admit to any of this will be difficult. Again, I caution you not to say a word regardless of what he or I say during the course of the conversation.”

“I understand. You’re going to play hardball with him.”

“Yes. Very hard.”

She picks up her phone and dials a three digit number, “have the doctors arrived? Good. And Tan’s attorney? Would you send them in please? Have the other individuals arrived and the two deputies? Good, have them wait.”

My doctors are shown into the office along with Tanner’s attorney. The doctors take seats on my side of the room and Tan’s attorney sits next to him with the three remaining chairs on the other side of him arranged in a group of two with one behind. That will put at least two people between me and my Dad. I’m not certain I’m up to this since he will likely try to kill me as soon as he figures out the female sitting here is me. Oh hell, it won’t matter if I’m dressed as a female or not. He’d still try if he thought he could get away with it. Maybe even if he didn’t think he could get away with it. I hope he didn’t bring a gun with him. I begin shivering even though everyone else acts like it’s kind of warm in here.

Judge Hamersley quickly goes over the information and tells the doctors the basics of what she is going to ask them, “all I want from either of you are short medical answers, no long winded explanations. The individual’s attorney may also be asking questions which I wish you to answer in a similar manner. Offer no information which is not directly requested.”

They agree and we are essentially ready for the first step in her plan. She now puts on her robes before seating herself behind the desk again then picks up the phone and dials again. “send in the brother and sister.”

They are shown in and my sister and brother are asked to sit in the two chairs situated before the desk. Their attorney accompanied them and he sits in the chair located behind them.

“What’s this all about your honor?” their attorney begins.

“I have a petition before the court filed by attorneys on behalf of Mackenzie Phillips, the brother of these two siblings. This petition alleges some rather disturbing facts which have been born out by medical examination. Do you represent these two or just the Father?”

“I represent the entire family.”

“Then here is a copy of that petition and I am going to have my clerk come in to swear in the brother and sister before taking statements from them.” Turning to my brother and sister, Jennifer continues; “You will be sworn in to testify under oath concerning the questions I will ask. This is just as binding as testifying in court and if you purger yourselves you could go to jail. Do you understand?”

They look at each other and at Tan’s sister. Confusion crosses my sister’s face as well as a bit of fear. My younger brother simply shows defiance, “I don’t have a brother.” Sis looks at him strangely for a moment.

“Your honor,” the attorney speaks up again, “perhaps you have the wrong family. I don’t know of a brother and although the last name is the same, which may be a coincidence, there has been no mention of a brother to me.”

“And how long have you been the attorney for the family?”

“About six months, your honor.”

“It is fortunate then that there is a witness from some time prior to those six months who can corroborate the petition and the ties to this particular family.”

The attorney looks a bit confused for a brief moment before pursing his lips and continuing, “I fail to see how this is a criminal matter rather than a civil one, your honor. Disciplining their children is something parents are supposed to do.”

“Does beating them to within an inch of their life and hospitalizing the child repeatedly due to broken bones and injuries to internal organs fall under civil court?”

“Er... No, your honor. That would go a bit beyond discipline. However, what proof have you such things happened?”

“Hospital records, medical statements, the statement of the injured party and a witness.”

The attorney is again nonplused, “If true then this would be a serious charge.”

“Very serious.”

“And who are these others who are in the room?”

“Those two are the doctors who examined the petitioning party. The one is the witness of whom I spoke and the other is the individual who has been acting as a protector to the petitioning individual.”

“So the accuser is not here to be questioned?”

“He will be made present if necessary.”

“I think he will be.”

“And I think I’m the one who makes the decision as to when that will be necessary. The aggrieved party is interested in protecting everyone’s rights including their own.”

“If I recommend that they not testify here and now what is the alternative?”

“Immediately after they are sworn, if they refuse to testify then charges of attempted homicide will be placed against the brother and the father.”

That hits the attorney rather hard. I suppose he thought this was some sort of mistake. My sister now begins to weep and my brother looks even more defiant just as I imagine my father will be. Judge Hamersley again sends for her clerk who then swears in my sister and brother, having previously sworn the doctors and Tan and myself.

“Your Honor, if this young man and woman testify here then what is to prevent you from indicting them? What is their incentive to testify?”

“All the petitioner is looking for is full emancipation with all familial decisions placed in the hands of the court which would then make all legal decisions including medical as well as others which are still beyond the purview of present emancipation. The petitioner wishes to be free and clear of all legal ties to this family. Upon the father signing this petition I will, reluctantly, not file charges against any of them.”

“May I take them out to talk with the father privately?”

“Only after the father and mother are also sworn. The deputies will find you a room where you may talk but any attempt to depart will result in immediate arrests on the charge of attempted homicide.”

“Understood, your honor.”

Jennifer calls out to have my father and mother brought in to be sworn while my brother and sister go back out to the other room. For the first time ever I see him in a suit. He looks uncomfortable in it. He looks uncomfortable to be here and I think by the time they come back he will look even more uncomfortable. After my mother and father are sworn their attorney takes them out. The deputies lead them and my brother and sister off to where the five of them may speak more freely.

We go out to wait in the outer room since Tanner’s sister has other work she needs to attend to during the temporary wait. Half an hour later a call comes in and is picked up by the clerk who speaks for a few seconds before transferring the call to Tan’s Sister. A minute later she comes out and tells us we may all go back to work she will arrange another meeting date.

“What happened Sis?”

“After speaking with his attorney, pretty much what Kat expected. The attorney made his recommendations. Your father tore up the copy of the petition. He tried to leave and in the process of being arrested he struck a deputy. He has been arrested for assaulting an officer and I will also place a temporary charge of attempted homicide to hold him for now. We will continue to hold that ‘attempted homicide of a minor in his care’ over his head in the hopes he will listen to reason as his attorney speaks with him further during the next few days. Kat’s brother was also arrested for attempting to aid the father and assaulting an officer. The sister and mother refused to participate. Each wanted to return here to talk but the attorney prevented them from doing so, since anything they might have said could prejudice the father’s case adversely. Further, everything hinges on the father so any testimony she might give would be as a hostile witness to his past actions and the daughters potential testimony since she was a minor at the time could be stricken. The mothers testimony could be dismissed since a wife cannot be made to testify against her husband. Give the father a few days for it all to sink in and we will meet again.”

“I told you.” I add to the mix. I had failed to recall that although Sis is older than myself, for most of that time she was a minor even though she is a adult now. It’s true, most of the beatings occurred while she was a minor.

“Yes you did, Katrina. But things must proceed in a specific order and within legal boundaries. I think after a few days he will come around.”

I nod my head, doubting it, but willing to hope. His sister and I hug before Tan leads me out, returning to his car then driving us back to the studio to try to get some work done if I can tear my mind away from the knowledge that my Dad was arrested because of me. I wonder what would have happened if he had realized the young woman in that room was me?

Young Woman... I’m just beginning to realise I am accepting myself as a young woman. I don’t know why but it feels... Okay... good... I don’t know... different. More like me perhaps... or maybe... I’ve tried so hard to deny this and to be me... er... I mean, to be Mac. Now... in such a short while I feel like I’m really Katrina. This is confusing. How could I feel like a young woman in only a couple of months when I spent seventeen years as a young male? Maybe my shape has a lot to do with it but... Should I really be doing this?

All of the way back to the studio I am quiet, at least outwardly. Inside, I’m in turmoil. I look at my hands, a woman’s hands. I look at my skirt and my legs and again see nothing but a female. I occasionally am able to smell my perfume, having become accustomed to the scent since applying it earlier this morning. As I move my head, my hair and earrings move against it and looking down I have a moment of sadness wishing my breasts were a little larger. Now that’s a laugh, I’ve spent at least six years wishing they were smaller or not there at all. I don’t know why I didn’t see I’m so much a female before. Then again with Dad constantly after me to be more masculine, perhaps I was in heavy denial. I was in heavy something... Most usually, pain.

Good grief, even sitting here in the car my legs are together and crossed at the ankles, my head is up allowing everyone to see the young woman riding with her man through the city streets and out toward the location where Tan’s studio is located. How quickly things change. Mac had how many friends? Four? Five? Maybe six? And he only needed five years to obtain them. Katrina, on the other hand, must have what? Fifteen? Twenty? And obtained in perhaps seven to nine weeks. And the quality of the friendships is far greater than the fair weather friends Mac had.

If you had told me last year that I would have more than a dozen good relationships with women and that we would be able to talk and share problems and truly like one another I would have said you were nuts. Yet as Katrina, it seems... like a right of passage.

So... If I’m really a girl, then my Dad caused all these problems due to his fixation upon that little piece of flesh tucked down between my legs. Can I blame him? Didn’t I have the same fixation? Or, perhaps, it was something pounded into me.

As Mac, I was nearly always in pain, mental as well as physical. As Katrina, I still have some physical and mental pain lingering from my days as Mac but nothing like those pains once were. In fact I might go so far as to venture that as Katrina, I’m happy. It’s still difficult to comprehend that in such a short time I have been able to embrace being Katrina and almost feel it is my due. OH GOD, MY DOOR IS... Oh!.. We’re here.

“Tan, you frightened me half to death. I was thinking and didn’t realise we had arrived.”

I thank him for opening my door for me and helping me out of the car. He locks it as I check my skirt before taking his arm so we can walk into the building.

~O~
~C~

to be continued

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Comments

Both the Brother and the Father should be JAILED-For Life!

Discipline my ass! They are total and complete asses, and should be sentenced to life at hard labor!
Mac/Katrina is far more forgiving than she should be-and I think that something will happen to both of them, especially if Tanner gets a chance.
Didn't the brother also commit perjury? By saying he didn't have a brother, he lied to the court, didn't he?

Wren

Not under oath

I believe, as of that time, he had not been committed to oath, so it doesn't technically count. On the other hand, ********s like him wouldn't really care one way or another. When your only aim in life is to hurt others, well...

Melanie E.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-25

Me, I sincerely hope that that sperm donor and bastard are jailed. I can't help but think that they hurt the sister and mother like they did Kat.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

It Just Blows My Mind!

jengrl's picture

It just blows my mind when I see Kat worrying over having her bastard father and brother jailed for beating her. I realize she may be scared, but at the same time,they both need to be IN JAIL!!!!. If my father or brothers ever did anything like that to me, there is NO WAY IN HELL!!! that I would let them walk away without being charged and sent to jail. I don't care if they are related. People who suffer abuse like Kat shouldn't have to tolerate that from anyone, let alone their own family. That is INEXCUSABLE!!! I agree with Jen's position. I would charge both of them with attempted murder, because she is an Officer of The Court and it is part of her oath to uphold the law. I would throw the book at them regardless of what Katrina wanted. That is her duty!

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

Sad but true

Not having known any other life, Kat's mind accepts what happened to her as "normal". And society bombards us with messages that loving your family is normal. In a manner of speaking, she has been brainwashed or perhaps it would be more accurate to say conditioned. Much the same thing occurs in domestic abuse situations. Look at how many abused spouses jump right back into the fire, even bailing their abuser out of jail. Sad but true.

Karen J.

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Promises made

Diesel Driver's picture

Judge Jen made a promise. Maybe she shouldn't have but it may be, seems to be, the only way to have gotten Kat to go through with her testimony. Once made, unless under duress, a promise must be kept.

Chris in CA

Chris

Dad will come looking for her.

And, with Emmerson in the mix, is it likely that Dad will be contacted by him? With Dad's obvious lack of respect for the law, what will he be capable of?

This shit goes on in many homes all across the world even if the victim is not T.

K

I rather strongly suspect

Brooke Erickson's picture

I rather strongly suspect that the attempted murder (and over a period of years, at that) charge will be enough to get a court to remove the father's parental rights.

So even if he *doesn't* wise up and sign the rights away, he's likely going to lose them as well.

The mother may or may not be willing to sign off on the surgery, but she too might lose the rights for having "aided and abetted" by not ever saying anything to the authorities. Yes, I know that it'd have been suicidal to do so, but *legally*...

So either way Katrina wins.

As for Tanner doing something to the father, all it'd take is getting someone inside the jail to spread a rumor that the father and brother weren't just beating on the kid, but were also molesting the kid. Short-eyes do *really* hard time. If they survive.

Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks

I worry about Dad looking Katrina up.

By his portrayal, he could decide to look her up and kill her just because. The good forces often do not win.

K

I'm thinking that both Dad ...

... and brother dear are going to receive a covert visit from Tanner (or one of his friends) if they don't sign papers and vanish from Kat's life. Amazing what being dangled from a precipice (or out a window) can do to convince someone that they should shut up and GO AWAY. *grin*

Randa

Tanner & the agency

Renee_Heart2's picture

I don't think Tanner will do that he has to keep undercover. It will jepordize some of his missions.
Love Samantha Renee Heart

Love Samantha Renee Heart

Will he or won't he?

Renee_Heart2's picture

Will Kat's dad see the light or not that is a very good question. I think Jen should throw the book at both of them & considering Kat's dad & brother are charged with a felony Kat's dad waves all his rights to Kat & she can be made a ward of the courts. Now if her dad WON'T sighn the right over to grant Kat Tanner may place a phone call to Tony & enlighten him about waht is going on & maybe he gan get to some of the boys in prission & tell them what Kat's dad has done he won't survive prision.

I still think that Tan needs to have Jen over for dinner & take her down stares with Kat & show Jen his federal ID.
Love Samantha Renee Heart

Love Samantha Renee Heart

Family Love

family love isn't always conditioned its most often unconditional for children to love thier folks . wich makes what the father and brother did unaccptable and unforgivable . and yes tanner could probaly use his influnce and connections to get back at the father and brother but would that help ease katrina's painful memories or make her happy ? probaly not here's a off topic thought mac seemed to be a punching bag but as a women have ya noticed she seems confiendt and dosent take anything from anyone she's threatend emmerson slapped tony once and tanner several times and got in a cat fight with 1 model . wich brings this point katrina and tony's wife sound simular as he had bring proof of thier first meet to keep him safe so i wonder whence the 2 shall meet ?

Assault, Anyone?

terrynaut's picture

Wouldn't the father and brother be charged and convicted of assault at the very least? They should be going to prison no matter what! They certainly deserve to go to prison.

I'm betting that the mother and sister are redeemable, though I think it would be hard for Kat to forgive them for not standing up for her. What a dysfunctional family. What a mess.

I'm still enjoying the story. It looks like things should easily get better from this point on.

Thanks and kudos.

- Terry

Actually

NoraAdrienne's picture

I think it's that a wife can't be compelled to appear but can do it willingly, which I think might happen if she wants out of the nightmare she's been living in.