My name is David - 2

Printer-friendly version

My name is David, and I am a woman.

"I'll have to WHAT!?"

"No need to yell, David."

"Why can't I just stay me? I'm comfortable as I am."

"Let me rephrase it. Presenting as a woman isn't as much about dress as who you are showing to the world. Right now you look a little androgynous. Not very, but a little."

"But…"

"Let me finish, David. You look androgynous, but you act feminine. They see your hair, and your clothing and assume you are a tom-boy, or a butch lesbian, or something along those lines."

I colored a bit, but decided to say nothing.

"I'd personally just be happy if you got a more feminine haircut. If you wanted to start wearing women's clothing…"

"I don't want to wear dresses."

"Am I wearing a dress?"

I looked again at the pant-suit she was wearing, and I had to shake my head. The cut of it screamed female to me. There was nothing masculine about her clothing. The neck and collar of the blouse also said women's wear to me.

"Make minor changes. That's all I'm asking. Blouse instead of button shirt. Pant suit instead of Men's suit. You simply need to make minor changes that feel right to you. Maybe wear a pair of panties instead of boxers or…"

I turned bright red at her mention of underwear.

"Something I should know?"

"I wear bikinis. Men's bikini briefs I mean."

"Well, try out a couple of different women's briefs then. See if there are any that you like better."

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure. Most people in your situation that I know like to talk about these things."

"It embarrasses me, ok?"

"Sorry to hear that. I'll try not to talk about it then. Just be aware that I wear those pieces of clothing as well."

"Well, would you be comfortable talking about menstruation as well with a complete stranger?" I said trying to get something that might make her uncomfortable.

"It's guys who have a problem talking about that stuff, mostly because they haven't been taught to understand it."

I blinked a couple of times as I processed it. "I never really thought of it that way. It is a natural part of life. "My dad always left the room as soon as my mom started talking about it. Usually with her sister or the like."

"At least you called it menstruation and not 'on the rag' or period or any of the other euphemisms that are associated with it."

"I figure that as an adult I might as well call a penis a penis and a vagina a vagina. They are the proper terms after all."

Ms. Emmersen just smiled at me, so I smiled back.

"I know this is an adjustment to everything you are used to. Think about it. Come to a decision. The real life test we talked about is so you can be sure before you make any really drastic changes to your body, like surgery."

"To remove my penis?"

"Or facial feminizing surgery, or any of a number of other elective surgeries that some of my clients want."

I thought about it for a moment and Ms. Emmersen just let me.

"Well, I'll have to see later whether I want it or not. I mean, this morning I was so sure that I was a woman, but now…it just seems like so much work."

"Don't let me put you off with what I'm telling you. If you feel that this is who you are, then do it for you, and do as much, or as little, as you really want. Don't let someone else's idea of femininity dictate who you should be. If you are seen as a woman, and accepted as a woman, and you tell people you are a woman, then you're fine."

I took a couple of calming breaths, and then a couple more, and then I smiled.

She hugged me like she had her previous client, and I hugged her back. I'm not sure if I'll ever get into that side of being a woman, but it was pleasant in a comforting sort of way.

<3  <3  <3
I didn't have a lot of time if I was going to get back to work before Gary left for the day, so I stopped in at a salon to get through with one thing I thought that I needed.

Ok, it's not that I needed it, but that I wanted it. I had a fairly masculine haircut, and I wanted to remove that from the equation of how people saw me.

"Can I help you…sir?"

I smiled at the woman behind the counter.

"I know I don't have much hair to work with, but I was wondering if you could give me something more feminine that my current mop. A pixie cut, or something similar perhaps?"

She did a double take, and then smiled.

"And I suppose you want your ears pierced as well?"

"I hadn't really thought about it. Do you think it would help?"

"Honey, in those clothes? It couldn't hurt."

"Yeah, I know, I really need to sort my wardrobe. My therapist suggests I get a nice pant-suit."

She smiled at me and gestured for me to follow her into the back. She started with washing my hair, and then turned me around to face her. A pensive look came over her features as she looked over the remains of the last cut I'd gotten nearly three weeks ago.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You already have," I said with a smirk.

"I meant a personal one."

"Sure."

"Are you a guy?"

"Can't you tell? Sorry, that's rude of me. You want the long answer, or the short one?"

"Well, we have time, so give me the long one while I work on a style for you."

So, once again, and this time with a therapist of a different nature, I went through my story. Talking through it for the second time today I began to get into a certain rhythm. I guess it's like anything else; the more you practice, the easier it becomes. The further I got into the story, the more relaxed that the stylist became.

"Well, I have to agree with the girls from the club. You really are a woman. In answer to your earlier question, yes you should get your ears pierced. Most women do these days. It wouldn't need to be anything fancy. Maybe a pair of gold studs?"

I considered the question for a moment and then shrugged my shoulders.

"Why not? That sounds like it will work."

"And it will really counteract the suit, although it sort of says more androgynous than male anyway."

"You think so?"

"I know so, hon. It's the color combinations. Guys tend to be more boring in how they coordinate. Even your metro-sexuals. I don't think I've ever seen one with a pair of shoes that matched their suit."

"There must be some, since I didn't special order these. I take your point on it, thought. Usually they just go with black or brown. Boring. And then pair a suit with a white shirt…you know how it is."

"You better believe it."

We continued in this vein of gentle banter and I realized that I would definitely be visiting with her again later. Whether or not she was the best in the city didn't matter to me. She was the best for me, and that was all that was important on the matter.

She stabbed a couple of gold posts through my ears after finishing up with my hair, and I was amazed at the difference to my appearance in the mirror. This morning, when looking at myself and preparing to go out, I'd still been able to squint my eyes and see the boy. Now, with just a feminine haircut and a pair of earrings, I'd slipped over the androgyny line directly into the path of the 'girl' bus. Well, it would do for now, and I grinned at my reflection.

"I don't even know your name," I said to the woman as we went to the front to settle accounts.

"Gina. And yours?"

"David…but I was thinking of adding a more feminine middle name like Anne or Louise."

"Why not change your first name?"

"I've spent twenty four years getting used to it. Wouldn't want to have to spend twenty four more breaking in another."

"Go with Louise then."

I looked at her questioningly.

"I think that Luanne and Joanne are silly enough without creating a David-Anne to go with them."

"And then we'd get Mike-Anne and Steve-Anne, where would it stop? "

She laughed at that and waved as I left.

<3  <3  <3

I was nervous. Really nervous. Like actually sweaty palms, heart palpitations, and cold sweats nervous. Since this morning when I'd realized that I was into my boss, or is that I'd like him into me, something had changed in our dynamic.

He wouldn't have noticed, I'm sure, but I did. That made this next conversation difficult, because he was about to realize that something had changed, and I hoped he recognized it as for the better.

"Gary, you got a moment,"

"Sure, Da…vid?" His eyes grew wide, and his mouth hung open after he finished speaking.

"Well, that's done. Thanks."

"Wait right there Mist…missy. You're not getting off that easily."

I hope my eyes flashed at him when I responded. "Isn't that a little condescending?"

"You can't just come in here dressed like a woman and expect me to let it go without some explanation."

"Um, Gary? I'm wearing exactly what I had on this morning."

"Now I need an explanation and a drink. I'm about ready to call it a day. Would you care to join me?"

"I don't think it's a good idea, Gary."

"Why not?"

"Would you ask a subordinate female out for a drink?"

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, finally he shut it with a snap. "No, I wouldn't. Is that what this is about? You're trying to tell me you're female? How could I have never noticed before?"

"Because I'm physically male, and was doing my best to try and present that image. Not your fault. Blame me." I said this last with what I hoped was a winning smile.

"So…you're, what is the term, transitioning?"

It was my turn to look shocked. "Come again?"

"As a boss in the twenty-first century, I've had to go to a lot of training seminars, among them how to properly treat transgendered individuals in the work place. Although, now you mention it, your clothing does look masculine…I just didn't notice it with how you looked."

"That distracting, huh?"

"You know I shouldn't answer that, since I am your boss, but since you are fishing for compliments I'll give you one this once. Yes, you look pretty."

I felt a full body blush coming on at that, and smiled like a lunatic.

"I'll let HR know what's going on then. I'll see you here Monday?"

I just nodded and he slipped out the door past me.

<3  <3  <3

With all that had gone on today, it completely slipped my mind that I had house guests, or more specifically it didn't occur to me they would still be here.

"Love the haircut…and are those earrings?"

"Hey, Angie. Hey, Collette. You two still here then?"

"We want to go shopping with you, remember?"

Somewhere in the back of my mind I remember talking about that with them, but I didn't realize they were staying with me until we went.

"Don't you guys have work?"

They looked at each other and laughed.

"Angie is rich, I mean really wealthy."

"And Colette is a mooch."

"Am not…I just enjoy helping you to spend all that moola."

The two girls began to laugh, and I just stared at them open mouthed.

"What?" they both said, trying to look at me innocently.

"You're halos are held up by your horns, ladies. I don't think the innocent look works for you."

We all broke down in a fit of giggles at that point. "Seriously though," I said when we started to calm down, "Angie is wealthy and does nothing, and supports Collette in doing nothing as well?"

"When you put it that way, you make us sound like a couple of lazy slobs."

"No, not really. I make you sound like landed ladies from the height of the British Empire. Haven't either of you seen Downton Abbey?"

They both looked at me, this time they had open mouths.

"What?" I said. Only I really was confused. I wasn't just trying to wind them up for the fun of it.

"Um…that's kind of a romantic drama."

"And I can't be a romantic? We've already established I'm a woman, so I have the prerogative to have liked feminine things."

The both smiled at me, "David, you're nothing like we expected. We expected to be teaching you everything about being feminine this weekend. Only, you already have great fashion sense, even if it is focused on male fashion. You are very sexy on the dance floor…"

"Sexy?" I said, heat rising off my body. I put my face in my hands and hid from the others.

"Hell yeah, girl. Without you we'd never have gotten an invite to the VIP section," Collette said.

"Yeah. You move like liquid sex on the dance floor," Angie continued.

"Ang…"

"Dae….actually I like that. I'm calling you Dae from now on. Sort of a mix of Di and Fae in my mind."

Collette looked at her friend with a smile teasing across her lips. "I like it too. Dae. Makes it feel like a girl's name, even if it isn't."

"I like David."

"And you're still David. You just got your first girlfriend's nickname, Dae."

"Kinda like Dorris Day, isn't it?"

"If either of you start calling me Dorrie I'm out of here."

We all giggled at that. "Ladies, you distracted me. You should get a job of some sort."

"And miss out on this? No way are we missing out on your first shopping trip en femme."

With a smile on my face, and a spring in my step, I linked arms with both young women, "then let's go to it, shall we?"

<3  <3  <3

The kaleidoscope of feels, scents, and colors that encompasses a marathon shopping trip are something that must be beheld, and not described. From boutiques to major shopping centers, high end to budget, and one end of the city to the other we trekked in a manner hitherto unseen outside of epic fantasies the likes of which to make a Jordan or Eddings drool.

If there had been treks up steep mountain paths with sheer drops amidst icy winds, I wouldn't have been surprised. If we had delved the deepest caverns of the earth, we would have come back with less treasure than we did in that single night and it didn't end at sundown, as I was sure it would have to.

Angie had friends who opened their doors, even when we arrived at some of the stores well after midnight, and proceeded to help outfit us.

I admit it freely, that I am a bit of what used to be called a clothes horse…no, I demure, I am a clothes horse. I love clothing. I love satins and brocades. I love cotton and silk. I love the smell of leather and the feel of velvet. And before you ask, no, I don't get sexually aroused by clothing.

There is nothing in this world like a well cut suit, or a slinky dress. The way they fit your body to absolute perfection, hiding every flaw and accentuating your virtues. The wrong clothes do the exact opposite.

Hollywood knows this. Watch an 'Ugly Girl' Rom-Com if you don't believe me. She's all that, Strictly Ballroom and Never Been Kissed are good examples of this. While not a romantic comedy, The Princess Diaries has some of the same things.

You go from someone in ill fitting, unflattering, simply un suited clothing to someone wearing clothing that is perfectly suited to their body type. Now, I've never worn anything that was unsuited to my body, simply unsuited to my gender.

Some of the things we purchased were in a style that fit Angie's personality, but she would never have been able to pull off. I bought it because you always need a modest outfit or twelve. And a lot of them would work when I wanted to work it at work.

Let me say one thing here and now: You don't need to be naked to be sexy. And it's not about titillation either. Usually, the closer you get to that line of outright nudity the trashier your clothing gets, not the sexier.

Note, I say usually. A bikini in a cut and color that really flatters your body is damn sexy. It covers hardly anything.

However, with a truly gorgeous dress that totally covers every inch of skin you can also be damn sexy. There's a reason that there is lingerie that is, in essence, a maxi dress.

I'm sure that the knowledge that there is nothing on underneath heightens the appeal.

But that's the point, isn't it? Who but you will know that you are nude under that floor length gown, and what makes you feel sexier than being a little naughty. On top of that, who's to say that you can't tell your significant other just how naughty you're being.

The sun was coming up over the mountain of purchases that resided in the front of the last store that we'd visited before night really had to be called morning.

My feet, calves, back, and a hundred other places ached from the walking, stretching, twisting, and everything else that you have to do to try on as many outfits as we had in the past ten hours.

"I still think you should reconsider," Colette said to me from her place next to me on the floor. I just giggled at her.

"What? You want to make me a C before I've even experienced an A?"

Somewhere in the middle of the night the other two had tried to convince me to get falsies.

"I think you'd look good with a C cup breast."

"Only one?" I said dead pan.

Collette began giggling , and Angie picked up the argument.

"I think these dresses would look better with something filling them out a bit."

"I fill them quite enough. And the ones that are a little big on top, we just get them taken in a bit. A dart here or there is all it should take. Then, we remove the stitching when I grow a pair."

The girls giggled at my obvious reversal of the common male taunt.

"I want to come to this naturally. I'm not trying to lie to anyone."

"Lot's of G girls wear falsies," Colette said.

"Did either of you?"

At their refusal to look me in the eye, something made easier by our sitting side by side on the ground, I continued.

"Let me go through that phase. I'll never get to be an eleven year old girl. Blossoming naturally is the closest I will ever get. Please?"

I got hugs from both women, and I really appreciated it from these two, more than from my therapist earlier. I considered these girls to be friends, and I think that made the difference.

We gathered up our purchases, hired three taxies, one couldn't hold everything we'd purchased, and made our way back to my apartment.

Contrary to what I would have liked, knowing that the wrinkles would set in more if we waited, we piled the bags, boxes, and so forth in the living room, pausing only to grab nightwear.

Colette had purchased a cotton sleep shirt. Angie went with a full body satin nightgown. She really took modest to a whole other level. Me? I got a pair of silk pajamas in a purple so light it could almost be called a dark pink.

I was moving to lie down on the couch again when the girls linked arms with me and dragged me to the deep comfort of my bed.

I giggled along with them as they dropped into the bed on either side of me and pulled my thick comforter over us.

As I drifted of to sleep, a thought came to me about my past: This was a woman's bed, and always had been. It was comfort incarnate. I teared up a bit when I realized this, and I had to thank the woman I'd always been inside for providing this comfort for me in what was sure to be a difficult road ahead.

The last thought I had before I fell asleep was: damn, they got me to buy dresses. Now I'd have to wear them at least once.

up
142 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

That David will be

one of very few men who truly know the woman's perspective by living as a woman.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Am I the only one reading this that

feels a little confused as to the reactions of others towards David?

I keep getting the sense something isn't right.

Sephrena

Acceptance

Perhaps David is being accepted too readily? I understand the girls, but David's boss, really now.

The water is too calm. Is a sunami coming?

Much Love,

Valerie R

David races toward femininity

Ole Ulfson's picture

In doing so he reevaluates his past, present and future.

"As I drifted of to sleep, a thought came to me about my past: This was a woman's bed, and always had been. It was comfort incarnate. I teared up a bit when I realized this, and I had to thank the woman I'd always been inside for providing this comfort for me in what was sure to be a difficult road ahead."

Bon voyage David,

Ole

We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!

Gender rights are the new civil rights!

Boy named Sue

If a boy can be named Sue, why can't a girl be named David?

Much Love,

Valerie R