Author retains all rights to this original work of short fiction.

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I decided early on my rules should be simple – but followed regardless of their simplicity. The first rule, no particular order BTW for what's to following, was I would always reply to every inquiry made to my profile on the ‘Blinked’ app – though if I had access to a computer, their website was certainly easier to navigate and communicate with the people who reached out. It was really quite the thrill to logon and see “You’ve got Six new Blinks”. Wait - you’re not familiar with that app / website? Okay I gotcha…

‘Blinked’ is just another flavor of today’s modern dating app / website and primarily targets the LGBTQ+ community. I use it to piggy back on the ‘T’ or Transgendered portion of that mouthful of alphabet soup (Is that even a thing any more – soup with little letter noodles?).

Let me clarify my piggy backing statement first though, I am not Trans. My profile will tell you that straight up. It will however tell you I am a crossdresser with varied interests when it comes to dating and how I line up with the gender I prefer to present as - wish I were. Boy, that’s also a mouthful. I gotta stop that – apologies – I'll try to be better, but I'm a little jazzed trying to tell you this story.

So, yes, I am solidly in the ‘Bi’ camp – I swing both ways, but let me also say this one tiny thing about why I’m not Trans first - quickly, I hope. I lack the guts to take the woman I feel, no - KNOW I am inside and truly, as they say, ‘walk the walk’ full time. I just can’t bring myself to cross the Trans rainbow and come out – live as my true self – to be me outwardly as I so crave internally. Trans rainbow – that isn't a thing I don't think.

I’ve been crossdressing and feeding that female inside of me since, yeah that would have started about twenty years ago, I’m pretty certain of that and have the memories to prove it. I used to play dress up with my sister, two years younger than I – that’s exhibit ‘A’. I graduated from something that was looked upon as being cute, nothing but a phase – to sneaking around and dressing when I was home alone in my sister’s clothes. Sorry sis if you’re reading this – which I know you aren’t. Sorry, not sorry? Augh…

I even, OMG, I can’t believe I’m telling you this, dressed for another boy my age – eleven I think we were – as we played a harmless game of ‘house’. My first kiss was actually with that boy and I’m pretty certain I was his first kiss also as his make-believe wife. Nothing more than lips touching lips – we had no concept of French kissing, tongues, or advancing those playing parameters to anything deeper – anything sexual. Whew… Why am I getting flustered thinking about all that?

Okay, point I was trying to make was a couple boys kissed, right? Our firsts weren’t with some girls we probably chased on the playgrounds of our younger years, but with each other. Point made – moving on, I have no idea what exhibit I’m on now. This probably seems a bit scattered. Hang with me, I'll get this story righted.

So, luck and caution combined – I never got caught! Not once… At least that I know of, no one has confronted me about my younger years of crossdressing. And, here in my mid-twenties I’m still at it. Certainly, more refined, polished, and I know a bit more about what I’m doing – but family, friends, what have you – never been caught. Dang it! That’s not true, sort of, but sort of not? Okay, I did get caught.

I was stopped late one night coming home from a date for an ‘Illegal turn on red / stop light’ by a very nice police officer a few years ago. He didn’t make a big deal about the license I handed over, with registration and proof of insurance. I think I’d almost, maybe, had him fooled right up until he had those documents in hand. I can assure you I was scared straight by that experience! But in typical addictive fashion – right back to dressing and going out a week later – actually five days. Oooh, and no ticket – just a warning! Hey, hey!

I've gone a lot of direction here, let's get back to those rules… Respond to messages on ‘Blinked’ and have conversations, which could technically be chats via the app / website. Amend that rule to be respond to messages or chat requests – but there had to be real conversations happening. I didn't waste my time with messages that were hate laden or out of left field.

At a minimum any messages / chats had to come at me with something other than, “You hot, let’s fuck!” Augh, hello! Word to the wise – whomever you contact via whatever mode you’re doing it – conversation will get you “Let’s fuck!” eventually if you can grab the other persons mind – even remotely. Might even BE that person you reach out too that offers it up. Don't be creepy!

I’ve gone on a few ‘dates’ (see the next rule) that didn’t end up in “Let’s fuck!” circumstances. But rules are rules with me and they’ve kept me from being a terrible statistic of some form of violence. That people – isn’t something to take lightly BTW – stick to your rules or risks become deadly serious!

Next rule – a date. Yeah, like meet someplace very public after a fair number of conversations / chats. This is where the anxiety can really kick in – at least for me, I imagine others as well trying to ‘pass’ as something they aspire to be…

Why this rule? That person you’re talking to could be a nut, loon, predator, a religious zealot hell bent on building a funeral pyre and setting you a blaze. Don’t think it can’t happen to you – when you least expect it – crazy can and will strike. Be on guard – which is a given rule always.

Where are we… Respond to all, conversate, public date, on guard… Oh, probably another unspoken and unnecessary to include here rule – don’t over promise or over commit. Seems simple, but could bite you in the ass if that person on the other end of those messages / chats thinks you're 'Just asking for IT'.

That’s about it. Hmm… Yeah, probably – but I’m going to interject some random thoughts in there as I describe my last ‘date’. Moohahaha! You think up until this point I wasn’t going to dish? That was silly of you… Let’s dive in, shall we?

Two months ago, I got a Blink message from a user named ‘CantBuySlippers’. Just his name alone was enough to pique my interest and his message was ever so puzzling – ‘Hey, you like helicopters?’ Nothing else - just some mention of a helicopter. Tell me that's not different. My reply was, ‘Sure, interesting mode of travel – wish I knew how to fly one – do you fly?’

It took twenty-eight hours for him to get back to me. I thought – a couple hours maybe, then a day went by, and then I just wrote him off. I do get plenty of messages that end up going nowhere BTW – so I wasn’t like crushed or anything, but this guy had enough quirk and unusual in just his user name and that message that I’d hoped we’d conversate. Warning - don't ever get your hopes up least you open yourself up for disappointment.

Do I mention here CantBuySlippers profile picture was – HOT?! And that the other pictures he freely posted of himself were equally – HOT!! Whew – stepping back to fan myself a little. Conversate wasn’t the only thing I was thinking as you can well imagine… Moving on!

Oh, before I do - another rule – check the user’s activity on the ‘Blinked’ app – you can see that on the app / website how often a user is online, the number of messages they’ve sent / received, and their rating by people they’ve contacted.

Yeah, a damn rating system of one to five hearts as to what others thought of them (I know, pathetic, hearts?). I was solidly rated 4.2 hearts after eight months’ worth of ‘Blinked’ usage – annoying because I thought I played nicer than I was being given credit for, but I probably pissed some hillbilly off somewhere along the way and got a one heart rating that brought my average down. Okay, two hillbillies, and maybe a couple lesbians didn’t like me. WHATEVER! Story for another day.

Point is – CHECK on the user. And - ‘CantBuySlippers’ was rated 4.6 hearts. Jealous some – maybe, but moving on to the point here, beyond HOT pictures of him, he was fairly active on the site. His message / chat counts were nearly twelve-hundred and he frequented the site daily – like I did. So, his twenty-eight-hour reply was – off – considering his stats. If you paid attention to that stuff – which I did – it’s a rule. Sort of, like when I’m interested in… You know, HOT guy!

Anyhoo… I got my reply, ‘Only ask because there’s one in one of your pictures background.’ He included a smiley face emoji with that message.

Hold up people! There were no pictures of me with a helicopter in the background that I'd posted under my profile and I told him so, ‘You must be mistaken. Thanks for the giggle.’ He had to be thinking I was someone else.

His reply, ‘Red skirt, red flats, white blouse… You might want to look a little closer. I’m happy to have made you giggle and for that I’m smiling…’ The message included another smiley face emoji and an indication that he’d rated me 5-hearts. Bold – he didn’t know me and I was arguing with him about a damn helicopter I was supposedly around in one of my pictures – which wasn’t there I can assure you. NOT THERE BUDDY!

And what do you think I did next? Yup – checked my posted pictures. I’d posted only two pictures of me in a red skirt, red flats, white blouse, and there was not a helicop… The second picture of me in that outfit, in the distance – like you’d need binoculars to see in the distance – there was a, helicopter. You have got to be kidding me! Was the focus of that picture the helicopter?! I was baffled, a little embarrassed, and quite frankly wondering why he was messing with me like that. Two can play that game!

I poured over his posted pictures. Saved them to my computer from the internet and in each one zoomed in and out looking for something to strike back at him with. Something that would make him question my assertation of something he might not have expected I could see in one of his pictures. Two can play that game buddy! And you know what – I found something! In the glare of a big paned window, maybe where he lived maybe, a house, I saw… Well, read my message back to him.

‘Observant… Take me on a motorcycle ride…’ But I didn’t stop with that simple message because of the motorcycle I saw reflected in the window, I kind of outright made it sexual by including, ‘I like to feel a little power between my legs…’ I sent him a smile emoji and boldly – if that message wasn’t bold enough already – rated him 5-hearts.

I know, I know right? Rules, rushing it, a motorcycle ride is not exactly a public date setting, and over promising... What else could you guess about this last conversation? How about that it took nearly thirty-one hours for him to reply! Yeah! What the hell!

His reply: ‘I like that idea, what are you doing Saturday morning? Weather should be good and a ride up to Paradise Lodge at Mt. Rainier would be fun. I’ve got a set of leathers that would probably fit you and an extra helmet. How about we meet at the Super Mall in Auburn at 9:00 AM outside of Kohl’s – I’ll probably be the only biker around that early. You game?’

Augh! No, I’m not meeting you to go for a ride when you are all about ignoring me on this site for thirty-one hours! Especially when I can clearly see you’ve been on here.

Note, I may have written down some of his contact numbers after my last message to him. In those thirty-one hours it took to reply he’d sent fourteen messages to other users and received twenty-one. No, I’m not a stalker! Not what I was doing – I was merely trying to gauge, ah… Gauge his interest, that’s it, that’s all.

Pissed much? Yup – I was a little miffed. My reply, ‘Sounds tempting, but I don’t operate well when not the focus of those I care to see outside this platform.’ Too much? Not like we were dating… Being HOT! also came with responsibilities - don't be an ass and I thought he was ignoring me. I probably should have rethought that reply. Too late now. Plus! My rules were clear – dates were to be first a public kind of thing. And – he couldn’t change that 5-heart rating now. Too late buddy! You should have waited to rate me. Maybe I should have waited to rate him?

There was a reply two hours later though, ‘I get a lot of messages from men, which takes a bit of time to go through. Not my focus, my profile clearly states that. I’m also incredibly busy at work as of late, which is stress I could do without. I’m logged into the app all day, but I’m not actively doing things – so it may appear I’m on, but I’m not. I answer messages in the order I get them and I should probably outright ignore a lot of them, but I feel the need to reciprocate for appearances. My intentions with you were that you would be my focus – hence the motorcycle ride. You, I assure you, are not an afterthought. I can see where I may have given you that impression and I apologize. Thank you for the consideration. My lack of focus, my loss. Cheers!’ Aaaand another damn smiley face emoji!

Good God! Read that back people! He’s guilting me, right? I mean – ‘be my focus – hence the motorcycle ride’! Oh, and ‘Thank you for the consideration.’ Paaalease! I’m not some bimbo on this site pining over boys, men, whatever! Rules. Stick to your damn rules. And cut the overtly sexual advances!

I replied with: ‘I have rules about first dates being public affairs and I have all those same excuses about attentions on this site, but everyone one of my replies are generally done fairly quickly, not a day later. Focus on a helicopter, rather than a woman dressed nicely – combined with the delayed reply – was your undoing.’

Ha! Your lesson for the day Mr. Slippers in the Snow or whatever you mean with not buying them. Take that you… Oh, there was a quick reply by my Prince of Ignore Me…

‘Would you care to chat? App or phone number exchange…’

Anxiety spike! Rule, another one, don’t give out your phone number! Unless it’s a burner phone or something. Big mistake if ya did that, give them a hook into you! Though T-Mobile made it easy to block numbers.

I replied – ‘I could stand to chat… But I’m not about to change my mind though.’ Do I need to mention a rule about playing hard to get? I mean, I wasn’t necessarily trying to be a bitch or anything, but he’s got to do some of the heavy lifting. Right?

The app on my phone pinged and I could see I was being invited to a chat room called, ‘Ride with me…’ I laughed – at least it didn’t say, ‘Ride me…’ I joined – more curious than anything else. Mostly curious to see where this went…

“Hey…,” I opened with.

“Hey yourself. You do have some wonderful pictures posted. The yellow dress, Alki Beach area I think, you look to have just finished laughing about something, right?”

He had paid attention to my pictures, deeper than just saying, ‘You purdy, let’s fuck!’ Where did I want to ultimately to go with this guy? Don’t skip ahead or try guessing - Geesh!

“Yes, my friend snapped that picture right after I’d been whistled and catcalled by a car out on the Alki strip with some likely high school aged guys. They were pretty comical, but from fifty feet away I’m sure they didn’t realize I wasn’t exactly what they thought.”

“So, you go out often then?”

“By out do you mean as a woman? If that’s the question, then yes, but I typically have control of my outings…”

“I wasn’t implying a differentiated you out or you out as a woman. I assumed you lived everyday as you appear, is that not the case?”

“That’s very sweet of you to say, but I’m not sure exactly where I’m going with my female persona just yet,” I answered truthfully.

And, if you have rules you follow – one you should certainly stick to is being as honest as you can, so as not to be tripped up by a lie later.

He complimented me, I’m sure I blushed – but he wouldn’t have seen that in a chat room. He pressed for more on that. I obliged at a high level. He asked if people I knew were aware of ‘Kristen’ – the name I used. No.

And on and on we went for easily thirty minutes – okay, it was thirty-three minutes, but who’s monitoring? I was and I was actually enjoying the conversation – up until the ‘push’…

“Why not go on a ride with me?”

That was the push… “I told you; dates are public at first, it’s just a rule I follow to stay safe.”

“What could I do to change your mind?”

And I’ve been pushed again… “Nothing…”

“Nothing? Do you have a LinkIn account?”

“Yes,” but I would be damned to hand that information out – especially given it wasn’t Kristen someone would see in the picture for my account.

“Good, look up Robert Franklin Benn. His account has an email address to his place of work. Email him… Or better yet Google that name and you’ll likely see that I work at the UW as a Professor of Finance and Business Economics - there will be pictures of me that match. Maybe even that I’ve got a ‘distinguished’ moniker also to go with my professional credentials. I’m putting that out there and trusting you. Certainly, you could make my life embarrassing, but I’ll risk that I’ve read you right based on what I’ve seen in your pictures, this chat. Go, email the guy, see if he replies.”

And there was the challenge and another push – email some UW Professor – see if I get a reply. Okay, I had nothing going on – challenge accepted. “If that’s who you are, reply appropriately to the email I’m about to send…”

I rushed to my Gmail account, after looking up Mr. Benn on LinkedIn to get his email address, and typed the following email message: ‘Professor Benn, I’m failing your class and would do anything to not fail. Can you help me?’ I went back to the chat room and let him know I sent the email, to which he replied that he got it and would send an immediate reply.

I got a Gmail notification, went to look at the reply, and it said, ‘Come out for a motorcycle ride, who knows – we may see a helicopter somewhere on the horizon…’

“That Robert, is quite the demand for not failing your class… Has that tact ever burned you, giving out your personal information like that,” I asked in the chat session.

“Robert if you like, but I usually go by Rob outside of work, with friends. You are the first I’ve done that with. Look, if I can’t stretch to follow my desires, then I’m not living and I’m tired of not living.”

Were we friends now? He wasn't living? Maybe the more important ask, “Desires? You’re not exactly inactive on this site, surely, I can’t be the first to get an invite for a motorcycle ride?”

“I told you, the app runs on my phone all day long, and I’m hit on by a fair number of guys – but it’s not what I’m interested in… That's kind of been confusing to me, so many guys hitting on me.”

Oh, you just backed yourself into this question buddy, “And what are you interested in, Robert?”

“You certainly are someone I am attracted to physically, but equally attractive to me is someone who’s got something more going on between their ears. I sense you are kind of spirited, so don’t argue that first point of attraction. On my second attraction – that might be more important to me. The ‘who you are’ as presented on this site. I know, you’re one in the same person, body / mind / spirit. But I would imagine you being the real you wherever – that takes a lot of processing power between those ears. I’m curious to explore that with you if you would let me… I won’t lie, the physical attraction to Kristen is quite strong, but my attraction to you is multi-dimensional. Does that make any sense? I feel like I’ve just rambled… I’m sorry.”

Oh buddy, you are a smooth operator! Well? You reading this account of my ‘Blinked’ app chat – what do you think I did? Damn right! I was at the Auburn Super Mall at 9 AM Saturday…

We of course did a few chats over the couple days leading up to that motorcycle ride – which I know, breaks my rule about public dates – but being on a road is public. So, don’t lawyer up on me.

I spent those days before our meeting anxious for my phone to chime I had a message from Rob, yeah, Rob – not Robert – I gave up the formal after a bit. Though I’d decide whether I would call him Rob in person or push the formal Robert just to prove to him I was ‘spirited’. There wasn't any twenty-plus hour delay in replies, they were usually pretty quick. Think the longest was forty-three minutes, but who's keeping track of something as silly as that?

Anyway, I learned that his wife had passed a year and a half ago due to ovarian cancer. She had been diagnosed late and spent eight months battling it. Note to readers – get checked or push your friends to get checked – the disease is a killer. I also learned, maybe by accident, that he was fifty-two and she would have been thirty-three this past June.

Ding, ding, ding! He, liked his women younger – he had nearly twenty-seven years on me. I didn’t mind the age difference and my experiences while being Kristen found older men more to my tastes. No! I wasn’t after some ‘Daddy’ thing! He’s younger than my own father. Alright, alright I can tell you want to know – two years younger than my father. Happy now?

May I continue? Alrighty, then… They had no kids, which he shared was partly due to reproductive issues on his part – no productive, strong swimming sailors essentially. He felt a lot of guilt on that point, his wife came from a large family and she wanted a herd of kids.

He said he probably wouldn’t have minded a couple kids. IVF set them back nearly sixty-thousand and on top of the money there was stress and one miscarriage. Adoption was certainly an option – but they never pursued it and life, two busy lives by the sound of it, just didn’t take time to make that happen. I could sense heavy guilt in those conversations… A sadness.

I didn't ask if, well you know – did stuff down there still function – that came out organically when I'd mentioned something about masturbation absently during one of those chats we had. It wasn't creepy, which actually was kind of refreshing to talk maturely about something like that. He didn't over do his reply, but I could easily read between the lines – everything worked just fine. I wasn't pressing, but it's good to know, right?

Okay, enough of that - Saturday morning, 9 AM sharp we finally met in person. Oh, he did give me his cellphone number – so there was that bit of protection I could add to covering my rules.

It was, mildly awkward, I had parked next to him – we were a fair distance from the Kohl’s store entrance and any cars parked there – here comes the awkward... Face to face I offered my hand, pulled it back when it didn’t look like he was going to offer his, but he was just slow to engage that greeting. We shook hands politely, he had a wonderful smile, and yes – Rob in person was exactly the man in the pictures. A quiet confidence and HOT, oh my he was extremely handsome… Get over your fears people or I’ll stop telling you, my story! Again - he’s not that OLD! Does not look old at all actually. Let that go!

He’s had said jeans would be best for the ride, which required a shopping trip to Target to go buy a pair that had little chance of doing anything for a figure in desperate need of more feminine curves. In the end I managed to look the part of Kristen as he’d seen online, maybe even slightly better than he’d expected. I think he was drinking me in as much as I was gulping down, sneaking peeks at him in the flesh while he got the leathers chaps and helmet out.

I was feeling confident, he'd made me feel that way online and now here in the mall parking lot. I was wearing cute boots, his suggestion for protecting my feet while riding. I also had a light jacket – which he contemplated thoughtfully after seeing it and was quick to suggest a leather jacket he went and pulled from a compartment of his monstrous motorcycle.

It was soft and black and had a cut that didn’t fight the breast forms I had in a flirty bra – had he noticed? I wanted him to notice – though certainly not try to touch the goods I was flaunting and be disappointed. I was trying to look good, no lie...

“You don’t mind that this stuff is my wife’s old riding gear? I figured it would fit you, appears the jacket does.”

I assured him I didn’t, though if some spirt still inhabited them, I said I’d be pissed. It was the first laugh between us that wasn’t captured in an “lol” statement in our online chat dance. He had a laugh I wanted to hear often though, so I would be on the lookout for any chance to get him laughing.

He was right about the leather jacket – it fit – a tiny bit snug at the arms though. I’m sure my shoulders were wider than the intended wearer, but it was going to work.

The second laugh of the morning came when I was trying to figure out putting the leather chaps on. I’d started to put them on backwards, he quickly got me situated and then laughed at my comment that I felt like a, “Biker bitch…” when I got them on.

I enjoyed that exchange and the care he was putting into making me feel comfortable. I’m telling you, he was smooth, very, very smooth – not fake or reserved in the least. And my anxiety – not present and I’m not sure why, but I’ll take it!

I know what you’re thinking… But don’t go there – he told me in our chats he wasn’t looking to replace his wife and I, other than my estimated body size / type, were the only similarities between her and I.

Okay, moving on, he admitted I had a quick wit – she apparently did also and he liked that she never held back playfully harassing him for whatever reason. That exchange did set me at ease – it should you too. I sure as hell wasn’t going to NOT harass him if it got him laughing. I mentioned the laugh, right? It made me feel good inside.

Don’t read too much into that last bit people about his wife and I – the straightest path is often the one to pay attention to in these kinds of things. I digress though…

Next came the helmet and the realization that going forward my real hair – yes, my real nearly shoulder length hair is cut in a gender-neutral fashion and when styled properly it leans full on feminine – was about to be ruined for the rest of the day wearing this thing.

I got it on and was helped with the chin strap. That act got his face closer to me, a quick whiff of the gum he was chewing, and a look into eyes you didn’t want to turn away from. Whew… I was getting a little hot and bothered. I wouldn't have minded a pre-ride kiss. Whew...

There was a boom microphone on the helmet that hung where it should, my eyes were protected by a half-visor, and I had sunglasses on (he’d suggested them). All I needed to do was plug my helmet into the bike and we could communicate with each other.

That would be handy, as I couldn’t imagine having to try and yell to him while he was supposed to be paying attention to the road. Very modern, a very handy little feature.

Next, a quick walk around the bike, “Emergency exits are here, here, and wherever you can get too. " he began, “I doubt we’ll have to worry about it, but help me keep an eye out for idiots out there – there are plenty who don’t see bikes.”

I agreed, and watched him mount the mighty ‘Goldwing’ and start it up. It had that subdued muffled engine tone that said, “You’re in for a treat…”

He looked over at me and offered his hand, which I took, and I was able to climb – maybe a little awkwardly – but I made it, to the nearly Lazy Boy recliner like passenger seat behind him.

He’d told me it was heated even and showed me where to turn it on. And there were heat vents he could open to get some warmth on my legs if I wanted. I was giddy, excited, and of course nervou…

“You comfortable?”

Do I just talk and he hears me? “Yes… You can hear me?”

“I can," he said with a little laugh, "Let’s go have some fun…” The big bike slowly pulled away.

And what about my rules? They pretty much got left in the mall parking lot. But I don’t want to get ahead of myself, so let me continue. You'll see I mostly stuck to them, mostly.

We headed south on Highway 167, up through Puyallup until it turned in to Highway 512, and we took the Highway 7 / Pacific Highway exit. It would be a straight shot to Mt. Rainier after that.

We did polite conversational stuff, nothing heavy, and I was quite enjoying myself in the role as his Biker Bitch. Of course, I was told we needed to wave at every motorcycle that went by, sometimes we did that in unison, sometimes I was late, but I was trying. This was turning out to be a lot of fun. So much so I leaned forward, wrapped my arms around him and gave him a hug.

“What was that for?”

“Just a thank you hug…”

He reached back with his left hand and squeezed my left leg about where my knee was, “I appreciate you agreeing to this first date. I know you’ve got some rules you like to follow…”

“I do, but you’re making them hard for me to want to enforce…,” I said maybe a little shyly. He had a mirror on the handlebar area that he could see me and I him. He was smiling,

“Alright Mr. Benn, get over yourself…” That got me a laugh and a wiggle of the big bike as we stayed to the left on Highway 7 at the Roy “Y”.

At the Elbe junction to Highway 706 he asked how I was doing and whether I wanted to get off and stretch. “No, I’m enjoying this, do you need to stop?”

“No, I’m enjoying the ride and the company. It’s been a few months since I was last out on her, she is anxious to run…”

“Really now? She’s telling you that?”

He gunned the throttle and we began to really move, “Yeah, I would say she likes to run…”

I could see a boyish grin in the mirror. God you’re cute.

“I’m cute?”

“What?”

“You just said, ‘God you’re cute’…”

I most certainly did not! You may have read my mind, but I did NOT say that out loud! And before I could protest, he said, “Just kidding… You had a look, I just put words in your mouth. Maybe not the right ones, I’m just playing…”

“You are…”

“I are what?”

I slapped the back of his leather jacket, “Annoying…,” but he got to hear me giggle, so I know he wasn’t taking me seriously. Plus he laughed...

“I’ve been told that…”

We talked some more and the road began to get a bit more curvaceous. I hadn’t ridden on a motorcycle since my youth and back then it was a dirt bike.

This, this was like flying, gliding effortlessly around bends in the road, speeding up through the apex of the curve, and of course passing slower vehicles when it was safe. That last part happened a few times with gaps to oncoming traffic I had worried about, but as he’d said, ‘she likes to run…’ and she, this motorcycle certainly did.

Curve, curve, curve, slow car, pass, curve, and repeat too many times to count. We laughed and talked about nothing in particular and we finally pulled into the Paradise Lodge parking lot.

The ride seemed almost a blur, but the mountain was a glow on this late July afternoon. The sun, the crowds, plenty of other motorcycles - we parked to take in some of the scenery.

Rob held my hand as I climbed off, I almost forgot to unplug my helmet, and once on my feet I was ear to ear smiles. He got his helmet off, set the bike on its stand, and came over to help me get my helmet off.

His fingers got the strap off and then his hands held the sides of the helmet to allow me to tilt my head out of it comfortably.

Once off my hands immediately were in my hair trying to get some of the body back as I watched him set the helmet down next to his on the bike. I was still fiddling when he walked straight up to me, put his hands on my hips, and leaned in to kiss me. Lightly at first, his lips over mine, mine parting to accept his tongue, my hands found his shoulders, and knees – the proverbial weak knees – I had them in spades!

That kiss broke, his eyes locked on mine as if looking for some horror or repulsed reaction, but he got a heartfelt, “That was unexpectedly…” I added after an appropriate couple second pause, “Nice…”

My reply from him? A smile, the taking of my hand, and leading me on a walk around Paradise to enjoy the mountain. No comments; no deeper explanation as to what had just happened; no questioning; just a validation of his feelings for me put out there for me to consider. Oh, and we were surrounded by plenty of people! He couldn’t have cared less.

I was reeling a little bit, as we began walking, the fact that he wanted to do that was not lost on me... The kiss!

No, no, no! Hell, I wanted him to do that! As far back as… The meeting at the mall? And, afterwards it was as if it were the natural, expected act of two people realizing they were in sync with each other’s feelings. This felt so very dream like.

Was there a connection - Oh yeah! Oh, and hand holding while we walked! Come on people! You know your girls got Rob hooked! Maybe Robert had me hooked? Hmmm…

I’m going to wrap this little excursion up by not boring you with too many of the fine details. In short we hung out at Paradise Lodge for at least an hour, holding hands for nearly the entire time I might add.

We both did restroom stops prior to climbing back on the bike – which got me a second kiss, pretty sure there was more ‘umph’ given with that one! We rode back towards the mall, stopping in Parkland for pizza at a place called Farrelli’s Pizza – which was fun and casual and included a beer for each of us, along with delicious pizza I might add. Conversation flowed, nothing heavy or overly personal, just - normal talk.

And then as if I’d blinked… We were at my car. I had stripped all the riding gear off, tried in vain to get my hair to do anything but look like it was flat, and decided to just lean back against the door of my car while he stowed the gear.

I got complimented on how the riding chaps looked especially nice on me, to which I replied, “Yeah, yeah… You say that to all the girls…”

There was a pause, a step by Rob to bring our bodies next to one another, a hand tenderly at my cheek as he leaned in to kiss me, this time slowly, lovingly, tongues searching, exploring with the intention of proclaiming that this was something deeper, there was a want for the other… I felt it, I… I knew there hadn't been any other women, I'd known that days ago, and I believed him. I felt bad for saying that, did I just ruin the day... He pulled away slowly, smiled, “I’d like to see you again Kristen…”

I was having troubles with a heart wanting to beat out of its chest and grasping fully that he wanted to see me – wanted to SEE me again, “I would like that very much Robert…”

“Text me… Let’s figure out something to do soon, tomorrow even.”

“I would love that… Tomorrow even.”

That got me a kiss with as much passion as the last one, but only shorter. “Let me know you made it home safe…”

“I will…,” and I watched him mount his bike, pull his helmet on, and tilt his head ever so slightly, before he rode off slowly. I had to laugh – he was fist pumping as he did that. I would have to harass him a little about that little show of boyish excitement. I was smiling, happy, and…

People, that right there could be my motivation to fully embrace the ‘T’ I’d mentioned early. I wondered if he knew he had convinced me today that I needed to find that Trans rainbow. After all, if he was the pot of gold waiting for me on the other side, I was going to be better for it and be the true me.

Oh, and rules? Yeah, well at this point I’d screwed up enough of them today, leading to today for that matter… I could probably move forward with a few less of them and a focus on other things.

FIN

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