Emily went to bed quiet and pretty despondent. Everything she’d know had just been tossed into chaos. She tried to get to sleep but every time she did her mind kept going over the stuff that had happened.
But she wasn’t a boy, dammit she wasn’t!
Tears came and she’d sleep to bad dreams nightmares of getting hairy, of her small chest fading to real flatness, of her growing this disgusting flopping hanging thing between her legs.
Of standing in front of the class in a skirt and it flopping out of her panties and people pointing and staring.
Or having a boner and the same thing happening.
Two little letters ruining her life.
It took a huge effort to get up out of bed and to shower and get ready. God she had this almost perverse urge to raid her sister’s closet and go to school as frilly and as girly as possible.
Instead she just wore her usual style of clothes….comfy capris, sneakers and a cute t-shirt she had wished she’d fill out better…she even debated putting on make-up but she wasn’t really much of a make up kind of girl.
Depressingly she thought. ~Now I know why. ~
She’d always been a Tomboy; she was always small but kind of athletic she sighed and got her book bag and she trudged upstairs. She went for her usual coffee and her mother was up looking hung-over and she stared at her. They stared at each other.
“That’s what you’re wearing?”
“Go change, wear a dress or a skirt…no more sneakers either that’s…that’s just…”
“Go! Dammit I’m not having you parade around like some transsexual freak, you’re my daughter it’s about time you dress and act like it!”
Emily ran to her room crying…she passed her sister in the living room hall and she was smirking…
~Oh Christ she knows!~
She slammed her door shut and locked her door and slid down it crying…why? Why was her mom being so cruel to her? Didn’t she know that this hurt her as much as it did her…that she wanted to be that girl her sister was?
Well aside from being a bitchy little social climber.
Her mother came downstairs and began to hammer on the door ten minutes later.
Emily opened the door…blouse…that made her feel even flatter than she was which is why she never wore it and a skirt with Mary Janes. “Better…go on and get to the bus stop, here’s a twenty get breakfast at school.”
She took the bill and put it in her book bag and she left the house without a word. Her stepdad must be working.
Her make-up wasn’t that good she was sure of it and it felt like a weight on her face…she felt open and vulnerable and really hurt.
Did her mother hate her?
She looked at her sister who was actually made up really well and filled out her clothes…she was wearing jeans…and she filled them out with that perfect boy magnet heart shaped firm ass and her curvy hips offset by her bare midriff.
She gave Emily this look and a small little smile that was almost dismissive…like she was laughing at her without making a sound and Emily could almost hear her saying. ~Go ahead look, stare, want…you’ll never, ever be like me. ~
She even seemed to flow onto the bus when it pulled up and she went to her friends in the popular crowd.
But it started there…then…every seat she passed the kid in it said… “Dude…”
And it was the same thing at school.
They knew, they all knew…people she thought were her friends avoided her or called her “Dude.” Too.
She got stares from the faculty.
Condoms in her locker.
Spat on by some of the holy roller kids.
There wasn’t even any LGBT help; it was like she had contracted leprosy.
The she ran into Jack who she hadn’t seen all day at the end of lunch and he was bruised and had a bloody lip.
“Jack? Oh my god what happened?”
He glared at her then yelled at her. “You! You fucking well happened! You lied to me, lied to all of us and this is how you fucking….aaah treat people?!”
She tried to touch him. “Jack I didn’t know, I’m still the same…………ooww!!!”
He punched her in the face…
She’d never been hit before in her life….it hit sooo hard…and fast…she heart something make this crackling sound…and there was so much blood! She was gagging on it as it poured down her throat and tears blinded her.
He hit her…
~He punched a guy didn’t he?~
Emily couldn’t stop crying…even when jack kicked her in between her legs screaming at Emily. “I’m not a faggot!”
She kept on crying….bawling…
She heard some guys close by laughing.
“Jack be nimble, Jack be quick Jack sure loves to suck the dick!”
Jack screamed and kicked her twice more…
She heard him leaving…screaming chasing someone, someone touching her…her sister…? It smelled like Angie’s perfume.
She freaked out and tried to swat her away…screaming…just screaming slapping and kicking and trying to defend herself.
Angie kept trying to hold her sister….that point driven home by the sounds she was making…the hurt, crying wail that only comes from a woman’s heart.
“Some one call 911!”
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