Broken! - Chapter 8 (Final)

Printer-friendly version



After a severe beating by his father, Alex was left in a coma and broken. Will his memory return and what will it mean for him if it does?



 

Broken LR.jpg

Broken!

By Shauna

Copyright© 2020 Shauna J. Rousseau
All Rights Reserved.
(All images and artwork are property of and copyrighted by Shauna J. Rousseau.)


 
Chapter Eight

 


JEWEL
I want to jump for joy when I hear that I have Lexi back for good! Don’t get me wrong, Alex was OK. I mean, they are one and the same person, after all, but Lexi is just more fun!

Momma goes out to talk to the nurse and comes back in after a few minutes with a big smile on her face. She says, “OK, I talked to the nurse, who called the attending, and they’re OK signing Lexi out to our care. Let’s get out of here and go eat!”

Maddie sighs, “Yes! Real coffee!”

Momma giggles and goes over and grabs the bag that she had brought with her. She hands it to Lexi with a smile and says, “I thought you might like something a little more appropriate to wear than your kimono or that hospital gown.” She winks.

Lexi opens the bag and lets out a little scream. It is one of the dresses that I got a few weeks back when out shopping with ‘Alex’. I have not even had a chance to wear it yet and it still has the tags on it.

She nods and says, “Thank you, April!” She digs further into the bag to find a full set of lingerie and a nice pair of my three-and-a-half-inch stiletto heels.

I help her take the tags off the dress and then give her a mock serious look. “This is only for this emergency! Don’t get any future thoughts of just borrowing whatever you want without asking first, Sis,” I jokingly exclaim, and we all laugh.

Momma and Maddie go out in the hall to finish up the hospital discharge paperwork and I help Lexi get dressed. By the time they come back in, Lexi is looking her normal totally girly-girl self and is absolutely giddy in her, well my, dress and heels. The dress fits her reasonably well, but my shoes are about a size too big for her. At least we were able to just tighten the strap and she will not be in danger of tripping or walking out of them. Now, all she needs is just a little makeup—but, then again, so do I. It is still way too early to be up on a Saturday morning!

Lexi seems to have put her bad thoughts aside for the time being and almost dances down the hallway and out the hospital entrance. Her mood is totally contagious, and I hook her arm in mine and we skip out to the car laughing the whole way. The heels are totally not a problem for her. It is like she never quit wearing them.

After a grand breakfast at our favorite local breakfast joint, we all go back home and sit in the living room. Lexi sits demurely on the couch with her legs carefully tucked up under her—just like she had not been missing in action for a year. She leans up against Maddie, who is sitting on the couch with her.

I sit next to Momma on the love seat and look at Lexi. I smile and say, “It’s good to have you back, Lexi. I was afraid you would never remember enough to come back—or at least enough to decide whether you would or not.”

She sighs and says, “Well, I always had it in the back of my mind that something was off. But what Daddy did to me was making me block my memories and that was blocking me being able to admit that I’m a girl. Anytime I would get even close to that thought, I would end up with a splitting headache—or worse!”

Momma smiles and says, “Well, we all hope those headaches will all disappear now that you’re able to openly confront your demons!”

Maddie jumps in and says, “And your father got twenty years in prison for attempted murder, assault and battery, and child abuse. It would have been more, but we didn’t have your actual testimony and there were no witnesses to him beating you. He claimed you tripped when he was chasing you to ‘calm you down’. He almost beat the rap, but the prosecutor, young as he was, was able to make a good case with my testimony and your obvious injuries. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get anything to stick on ‘Reverend’ Bigotti, since you weren’t able to tie him into the whole thing and your father would not give him up—not even for a shorter sentence.”

Poor Lexi is shaking as Maddie explains all of this, so Momma changes the subject. She gives her a hug and says, “Love, you now know that your Momma and I are…, well, … in love. I hope you are OK with that. I can promise you that, no matter our love, we will honor your wishes the best we can. We can’t say that if you have a problem with our love that we will ‘let it go’, but we can promise to talk about it.”

Lexi is still shaken, but responds with a tight smile, “Well, April…Momma-cita…I have no problem with this…and…as far as I know, neither does JuJu, so…”

Momma laughs and says, “Mamacita? Nice try, Love! OK, I love being called ‘Hot’, but…anyway, I take that as an endorsement of your Momma’s and my love...”

I splutter, “Momma, you know that Lexi and I are fully onboard with you and Momma-April getting together. We’re in love as sisters and ready to be a family!”

Lexi nods and murmurs, “What she said…”

Both Mommas giggle and my Momma—maybe there is something to distinguishing her with Mamacita —looks at Lexi and says, “OK, Hon, there are some things we need to discuss. Your Momma and I had to make some decisions about your health when you were stuck in Alex mode that we need to confirm you want now that you are back in Lexi mode. Do you want to talk about them in private? We can go to your room…”

LEXI
I get a worried look on my face and shake my head. I have no idea what she is about to divulge, but I don’t mind Momma being in on the discussion, since I am sure she was in on the decision. And I cannot see a good reason for JuJu to be excluded from the conversation. I say as much, “No, Mamacita, I’m fine with just openly talking about it here. Please don’t tell me that I started male puberty! That would be awful!” Alex rattles his cage at that thought and tries to interject doubt that it would be so bad.

She gives me a stern look when I call her ‘Mamacita’ again. She shakes her head and says, “I guess that’s going to stick, now? You have a real knack of doing that.” She looks at JuJu and winks. Then she looks back at me and gets serious. She allays my worst fear, “No, Love, you haven’t started male puberty. We had to deceive you as Alex. We couldn’t tell ‘him’ that ‘you’ are transgendered. Anyway, your Momma and I decided it was best to start you on hormone blockers, as planned—just in case. So, you’re safe. I’m sorry we had to deceive you, though.”

I feel a rush of relief pour through my body and I jump up and hug her. I whisper in her ear, “I am so happy you did!” I pull back and throw out a long shot, “I don’t suppose you started me on real hormones? Or, if not, that I can start now?”

I feel Alex pounding in my head and screaming that he is still here—that he won’t give up. He shouts, “Dad was right—you know it! You heard what Reverend Bigotti said—we will go to Hell if Lexi wins!”

She gives me a ‘look’ and then giggles, “Nice try! No, Hon. Nothing has changed there. If anything, I’m more convinced than ever that we should wait. We need to be absolutely sure that your life as Alex is permanently a thing of the past.”

I feel my face fall in disappointment as I picture having to wait until I am eighteen to start my puberty. Alex sighs in relief.

She continues, “I’m still fully open to evaluating where we are at and starting you on hormones when you turn sixteen if that’s still what you want. But the fact that you totally repressed your Lexi side and your Alex side completely took over still leaves the question open in my mind that that is what your innermost self really wants. I’m not so sure Alex is ready to give up.”

I sigh and Alex just says, “See! I told you! I’m not leaving!” I tighten my clamp on him—there is no way I am voluntarily letting him back out of his cage. He vows that he will get out—and win, like he did when Dad beat some sense into us.

I say, “Well, the other way to look at that is I—Lexi—totally won out, again. Sure, Alex is a part of me. He always will be, but as opposed to before, I can remember him, and he is not fighting to come out.” I think to myself, “At least not that I’m going to admit to!” I continue out loud, “As Lexi, I was fighting to come out when Alex was in control and didn’t remember me—I just didn’t know it. Daddy really messed with my mind—but he has not exorcised me. I am Lexi and I am proud of it! Alex is just now a figment of Daddy’s wishes.”

Alex screams in my head out of total frustration that I won’t let him speak.

JuJu comes over and hugs me and Momma wipes a tear from her eye. I can tell that I still haven’t convinced Mamacita, though. She nods and says, “Be that as it may, Love. We will wait. If it’s really what you want, then waiting for it won’t be easy, but worth it, don’t you agree?”

I nod to placate her, but there is no way that I agree. I smile as best I can and say, “Sure, Mamacita. I can’t wait to get it started, though.”

I also vow that I will start my puberty as soon as I can make it happen. JuJu started right on time, like most girls, at twelve. I am already fourteen, which is already putting me way on the backend tail of the curve. I will just have to put my high IQ and the internet to proper use.

I hear ‘Alex’ rattle his cage and scream in my head, “I will get out and you will regret doing something stupid!”

I think to myself, “Shut up, Alex! A few months of proper female hormones from the internet will certainly shut you up. If anyone is getting exorcised, it’s you! Daddy will not win! I learned a thing or two from that freak Bigotti on dealing with the likes of you!”

I fake a yawn and say, “I’m really tired. I think I’m going to go to my room and rest. Maybe I’ll even take a nap. Is that OK?”

Momma hugs me and says, “I’m beat, too. A nap sounds perfect! Go ahead, Hon!”

I hug everyone and go to my room. As I step in, I stop dead in my tracks. All my things are gone. I look around and groan. As Lexi, I of course went into my old room—which is now the ‘guestroom’. I grumble and go into ‘my’ room and curse Alex under my breath. I grab the laptop from the desk and return to my real room.

I lay down on the bed and open the laptop. I log on and curse again under my breath. Of course, there is nothing left on it from before my coma since it must have been wiped to hide me from Alex. All my TG resources are gone. One more thing to hold against Alex. I grimace and start a search for ‘Transgender’, male-to-female’, and ‘HRT’. Of course, I get a lot of hits, but I quickly narrow those down to some of the sites that I remember I had trusted and bookmarked before. I scan through some of the blogs and refresh my list of several sources of drugs that I can easily get without question.

I know I don’t want anything oral, but my first choice of an implant is out of the question, since I cannot do that myself. I maybe could do injections myself, but decide there are too many risks for that, as well. That leaves me with either transdermal patches or gels and creams. Of the two, I would prefer the patches for their ease of use but am afraid that someone might actually see them on me. So, that leaves gels or creams. Not ideal in terms of dosage consistency, but I will just have to make it work.

Since I don’t need to worry about blocking my male hormones anymore with April taking care of that—thank goodness—I focus on sources of estrogen and progesterone. I go to the same source on the dark web that I used to get my blockers before my coma when April had not yet officially approved them. It is inexpensive and has what I need—actual hormones and not some plant-based pseudo promise. Normally, I wouldn’t trust the dark web on this, but I have some connections that I trust and they vouch for the legitimacy of the products from this source—as long as I don’t question the legality. There is the usual promise that the products will be shipped discretely, and I decide to chance it. I order enough to last a year, which, given the amount of gel I will be using every day, amounts to three large tubes of a mixture of the necessary hormones. I check my PayPal account and confirm that I have enough to cover the cost—those stock trades I did back before my coma really paid off. I place the order with a contented grin and file everything away in a secure and encrypted cloud location that I had also set up before my coma, remove any traces of the actions in the laptop’s history, and close it with a sigh.

I stretch and lay back on the bed that I have not slept in for over a year. Soon enough, I am sound asleep.

Alex tries to fight his way out of his prison in my dreams, but I fight back and promise him that the hormones will ban him forever from my life. He vows that he will never give up and that he will take back over. The internal struggle makes me toss and turn in my sleep. Alex is a product of Daddy. Daddy is wrong. Alex is bad. He will not win!

Using some of the ‘lessons’ that ‘Reverend’ Bigotti forced on me to suppress Lexi, I push him back into his cage. I ignore him as he fruitlessly continues to rattle his cage and scream that he will be back and finally slip into a quiet, dreamless sleep with a smile on my face.

Maddie
April, JuJu, and I talk for a little while longer about all that has transpired and make plans to get all of Lexi’s things out of the attic. They have some matters to take care of and will come back for pizza later this afternoon, so that we can move Lexi back into her old room.

After they leave, I go upstairs to look in on my daughter and am surprised to find the door closed to her old room. I peek into the room that Alex has been using for the last year and find it empty. I quietly crack the door to Lexi’s old room and see her sound asleep on the bed. She is tossing and turning, like she is having a bad dream, and mumbling something about Alex and Reverend Bigotti. She cries out and I am about to go in and comfort her when she suddenly turns over and settles into a quiet slumber.

I sigh and quietly close the door. It seems her nightmares are not over. I shake my head and wonder if my child will ever find peace. I curse my ex-husband and find myself wishing that just maybe there might be some individuals in the prison that do not like child-beaters and give him a taste of his own medicine. I know that is wrong of me, but I cannot help feeling that way.


Jeremy
I gingerly sit on the bench. That bitch wife of mine will pay for what I’ve been going through this past year! How dare she question my methods of protecting my son from her perverted ideas and influence. I should have slapped her around some more.

I rub my breasts and cringe. I still don’t understand how Rupert gets away with what he does around here. When he found out what I was in for, he classified me as a ‘prison bitch’. In his words, being perverted is genetic and since I had to ‘treat’ my son for being a pervert, I must have just been doing it to cover up for my own issues. And he has it on ‘good authority’ that you just cannot treat being perverted, so ‘we may as well make good use of it’. Since my son considered himself a girl, then that must be my issue, too.

Rupert was a high-level mobster on the outside and is the most powerful inmate in this prison and whatever he says goes. This is a privately run prison and corruption runs abound. So, I did not have a chance with the other prisoners—and they were happy to have another ‘bitch’. The first time they held me down and took turns filling me, I could not sit for a week. Not that they gave me time to heal.

On my second day here, barely able to walk, I was called to the medical station and Nurse Jones started my weekly shot routine. Somehow, Rupert pays her off—or has her paid from the outside—and the prison bitches (there are currently ten of us) are put on hormone blockers and strong doses of feminizing hormones. According to her on my last visit, I will now likely never gain the use of my testicles back after having been on the combination for a full year now—even if by some miracle Rupert reclassified me. Which is highly unlikely.

Then this last round, she just put these implants in me so that I will not have to get the weekly shots anymore. She said that they are five-year implants. There is supposedly no way to remove them now that they are in. The ‘blocker’ one is some sort of new type that is still experimental on the ‘outside’—it seems I ‘signed up’ to be in the trial and Rupert will get the trial money for getting me in. The way she explained it is that it does not actually block the effects of testosterone—it somehow converts it all to estrogen. The more testosterone I have, the more estrogen will be produced—so even if I could get my hands on some steroids, it would not do me any good. Quite the opposite, actually.

I fight the tears—I still get emotional. I rub my tits again—I am nearly a full B-cup and my nipples are large and sensitive. Nurse Jones says those are there to stay now, too—and will likely still increase another cup, or so. I gingerly move on the bench—my ass is sore from a particularly rough night last night. There were two new inmates brought in from across state and Rupert seems to know them. I was given to them to share. I know better than to fight anymore.

That bitch wife of mine will pay! And that little pervert son of mine, too!

I look up as Greg, my attorney, and Freddie Bigotti come in the visitor’s area where I am waiting for them. They both get a strange look on their face when they see me. It has been several months since they were last here and the effects of the hormones are now much more visible. My hair is shoulder-length and well-cared for. Rupert makes sure the bitches look good—even down to laser hair treatments and permanent makeup since it is hard to get the real stuff in here. Nurse Jones just sees to everything getting done.

I tap my long red fingernails on the table in frustration as Greg and Freddie come over. I know there is no sense trying to make an issue out of any of this—there are ‘signed’ statements in my medical file that certify that I am ‘transgendered’ and requested the hormonal treatment. It seems Rupert has a very good forger ‘on staff’, too. At least they haven’t forced me to have that mutilating surgery to make me a ‘woman’. Six of the other ‘bitches’ have been here longer than me and four of them ‘requested’ the surgery. They were rapists on the outside and were quick to be put on Rupert’s surgery list. It seems he doesn’t like rapists at all.

Freddie comes over and says, “Jeremy… You look…like shit! I will continue to pray for your soul. I have to trust that you’re being truthful about this being forced on you—with your son’s illness and all. I mean, it could be genetic. Anyway, Greg has some good news for you.” I give Freddie a dark look and then turn to Greg who has a big grin on his face. He simply says, “The prosecutor on your case has been found to be taking shortcuts on some cases. There wasn’t anything they could find on your case, but all of his convictions are being overturned. Since yours is not one in question, it will take a little longer to get you out, but you will be freed. I am working to convince the DA that you are not worth the effort to retry and he seems to agree that there are more high-priority ones for him to concentrate on. I’m pretty sure I will have you out of here as a free…ummm…man…in a few months.”

I get a slow grin on my face and look at Freddie. I ask, “Do we know where they are?”

He simply nods and my grin spreads. The bitch will pay, and I will have my son back. I have no idea how to undo what they have done to me in here. The bitch will just have to pay more.

I have to stop in at the medical station on the way back to my cell block. Nurse Jones lets me in and says, “I have good news, Josephine! I hear you may be getting out in a few months. Rupert has pulled some strings so that you can have the SRS surgery and DD breast enhancements that you begged for to be complete. You’re scheduled for next week and all of your official paperwork is being taken care of, too—like your official name and gender change. Of course, he wants payment for doing you that favor. He was able to get your case review shuffled to the bottom of the deck. You should be out in about a year—maybe less if you’re a good girl. Now you know that T-girls in this state still go to men’s prison, but you will be in the special cell block with the other girls and they can teach you all about taking care of yourself. Your daily appointments will of course increase since Rupert can charge more for your services. Now run along, Josie, you have a two o’clock with Jimmy.”

I stumble back to my cell in a stupor. I can’t believe all the rotten luck. I was almost out of here!

Jimmy comes in at two and I let the pain and humiliation turn into rage at my bitch wife. She will pay dearly for every ‘appointment’ and more dearly for getting me turned into this abomination.

I smile ferally as I dig my long nails into the mattress and wait for Jimmy to finish up…


Lexi
I pick up the box from where the delivery person hid it from porch pirates behind the chair on the porch. I hurry and take it to my room before Momma gets home. I quickly unwrap it and hide the non-descript tubes away in separate spots, then carefully destroy the packaging and dispose of it under some garbage bags in the bin in the garage.

I return to my room and sit on the toilet and smile as I rub the first pea-sized dose of those heavenly hormones into my inner thighs. I smile wide as I envision them spreading through my body and starting the chain of events that will kick off my puberty. I am officially on my way to becoming a woman now!

I grin as Alex rattles his cage and screams in my head, “Dad will make you pay for this you little pervert! You just wait!”

I simply whisper to myself, “Daddy’s in prison, you idiot. He’s not getting out and now you’ve lost! In a few months there will be nothing anyone can do about it.”

I go to greet Momma with a hug as soon as I hear the garage door opening. We are going to meet Mamacita and JuJu for dinner. I feel all gooey warm and tingly inside.

I just smile contentedly into her shoulder and ignore Alex’s outburst. The next few months are going to be epic!


The End(?)

up
200 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

Not ruling more out...

I just have a whole lot of other stuff to finish up, first! :)

Thanks, Dot!

HUGS!
S

Final???

wow not the resolution I would expect from a final chapter. I smell a sequel

EllieJo Jayne

Grrr

Cliffhanger?!? Really??? You're mean!

Sadly I'm worried that Lexi and Alex are already mentally in a terrible spot here. If his 'dad' gets out and comes after him in his new form I'm afraid it will finish Lexi off for good. I hope you don't torture us too long here!

poetic justice So this is it?

poetic justice So this is it?? I can't believe you are so cold, LOL.

K

Cold?

Heh, heh!

No promises, but I will try... ;)

HUGS!
S

Introduced Jeremy this chapter

BarbieLee's picture

Up until this chapter Lexi's dad was only a shadow figure. The girls talking about all the bad things he had done. In this chapter Shauna brings him out and turns the prison justice system lose on him. Just as he's thinking his lucky stars he's not a convicted rapist because they receive the full treatment, he learns he's going to receive the full treatment. For a blood thirsty bitch like me, karma is in full swing and I'm in love with her. If a person deals out hell they should receive.
This story is fiction but don't get the idea hormones can be ordered from Mexico. No longer an option and yes years back I used Mexico. The US shut down any drugs coming via mail from Mexico. One may walk across the boarder and buy them but not via mail. Same with Taiwan, and Turkey.
Back to the story, Shauna did a heck of a job writing in an amnesia case in this story. Could it be true? Yes it could. Blunt force trauma and emotional trauma can and has caused amnesia. Alex-Lexi received both with a severe beating. Really nicely told and in the unique style Shauna is so good at, brings it to life.
Hugs Shauna
Barb
Life is a gift, treasure it.

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

Hormones and Karma

Thanks, Barb!

I know that hormones are no longer available via the internet from Mexico...I did take a little artistic license there. If anyone has an idea on how to make that more realistic, then send it my way and I will edit it in! :)

As for Karma... Yeah! :D

HUGS!
S

A good addition......

D. Eden's picture

To a truly wonderful story, but this does not feel like an ending. Rather more like a new beginning.

Looking forward to seeing if there is more to come!

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Potentially...

I have some ideas...just not enough time... ;)

HUGS!
S

Oh wow!

Even though Lexi is back, it looks like Alex isn't gone yet. And if the father gets free ... things could get really scary. If you ever decide to continue this story some time later, I hope Lexi doesn't get lost. I also hope Alex doesn't get lost either. They both feel like really special people. While I'd enjoy seeing more of this story, and the wonderful characters in it, you've also left it at a point where I can wander off on my own, imagining how things could go. Thank you for sharing your amazing talent, Shauna! :)

Imagination...

Yes, I was hoping to leave it up to some--then IF I get around to a second part, then you can see how well ours match up! :D

HUGS!
S

Not the ending I expected

I liked getting Lexi back but wonder about Alex in the cage. She really needs professional help from an outside psychiatrist.
As for Jeremy, it sure seems to be Prison Justice. It was good to hear although like the drugs from Mexico, having people like Nurse Jones is quite a stretch.
Thanks for a thrilling and thought provoking story.

>>> Kay

Corrupt prisons...

I am certainly no expert on prisons (and hope to never be! :P), but I can see how privatized prisons and corrupt officials could spell an interesting mix. Fiction? Sure, here it is! :) If I get around to Broken, Too!, there will be more about that particular part.

As for the hormones, well, that is something I was still contemplating when I inadvertently hit save instead of preview last night. I may still fix it... Not that I have anything really a whole lot better. :)

Thanks for the support!

HUGS!
S

It would beinteresting

Wendy Jean's picture

see how Lexi is doing several years hence. Thank you, I really enjoyed this story.

Thanks, Wendy Jean!

I appreciate the support!

HUGS!
S

No more Mexican hormones!

I'm not sure it is better, but maybe more plausible? (I know it is still far-fetched... LOL)

HUGS!
S

Still broken

Jamie Lee's picture

Maddie needs to get Lexi another counselor, April is much too close and sees only what they all see and want.

Lexi is still broken if her Alex side is still in conflict with her Lexi side. And she isn't doing herself any favors by covering up the fact. She also isn't doing herself any favors by prescribing her own medication. She doesn't know the purity of the drugs or if what she's taking is right for her body physiology.

Daddy dearest wasn't as tough as he thought, but what man is who beat his wife and almost killed his son. But if he thought life was tough in prison, he better get ready for a life he can't even imagine. He thinks Rupert had him changed just to be of service in prison? He has no idea what Rupert has in store for him when he gets out.

How did Greg and Freddie learn where Maddie and Lexi now live? Hopefully when he, she, gets out Maddie will be notified before Jose shows up on the doorstep.

Others have feelings too.

Working on Broken, Too!

I don't know if or when I will post it--or how it will be received. It focuses a lot on what happens to dear old Dad... It does further Lexi's story, too. We'll see....

Thanks for the support!

HUGS!
S