Another BigCloset TopShelf story.

See Joanie resume testing her time travel powers assisted by a famous dead person who is not. Experience the horror of Peeper's punishment. Cringe as the foiled Pizza Poster Plot creates problems and opportunities for our heroine and Whateley if Joanie will reveal everything.

Andy Warhol said,"In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes." What if your 15 minutes came late in life, and fame decided to never let you go? Could you survive the circus your life would become?

Timeout 3-Continuous play: A Whateley Academy Fan fiction

This is fan fiction for the Whateley Academy series. It may or may not match the timeline, characters, and continuity, but since it's fan fiction, who cares? To see the canon Whateley Stories, check out either Sapphire's Place,

(http://www.sapphireplace.com/stories/whateley.html) or the Big Closet (http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/taxonomy/term/117)."

Well, here goes part three of my TG/sci-fi/superhero/magic and the kitchen sink epic. I’m much better now than when I started this, honest, though comma useage still confuses me. Your constructive criticism and advice continues to help. This is an exercise in the joys of creativity and in appreciation of the wonderful Whateley Universe. Any violations of copyright, trade mark or use of real people or incidents are purely for purposes of humor or parody and done solely for the free enjoyment of the reading public. All rights reserved in perpetuity, John from Wauwatosa WI, 2005-2006. Transcripts of this program may be obtained by sending a pre-stamped self-addressed envelope to… but who would want one of those ?

Adult content advisory: this chapter deals with sexual topics and may not be suitable for younger readers, but if you’ve read my stuff, you know it’s not very graphic and tends towards the silly, but you were warned.

Timeout 3

By John from Wauwatosa
Editorial 911 by Itinerant
Thanks to my sister and to Janet Nolan for additional proofing

Chapter 1- The Big Chill pt 1, Revenge of the Blonde: Epilogue, LA Story pt 1: Adventures in Photojournalism

Whateley Academy Dunwich NH, March 22, 2007

March 22, 2007 7:05AM, Siegel Hall

I was summoned to an early meeting at Siegel Hall medical wing with doctors Pollard, Polland, Bellows, and a middle-aged bear of a man who looked vaguely familiar. “Joanie, this is Doctor Korolev -- he’s with the powers lab. We’ve brainstormed your time travel, um ‘side effect.’ Though we can’t see a way to eliminate it, we may have ideas to give you better control,” said Dr. Bellows.

“Control good, eliminate bad. Joanie like ‘side effect’ ummmmm.”

~ ~Sometimes you have to speak like Tarzan. ~~

Pollard, Polland and Bellows smiled, Dr. Korolev stared.

“Joanie acts the empty-headed teen at times -- don’t buy it. She’s as bright as anyone in this room; she chooses not to show It,” spoke Bellows.

“Aww, after that we’re not playing Twister anymore.” Then I pouted and crossed my arms under my chest, very petulant.

“Joanie, Dr. Korolev has something important to say; hear him out, okay?” said Polland. I nodded.

“Your experience with Mr. Lodgeman on your Operations ‘research trip’, and the data sent from Wisconsin, suggest your ‘side effect’ accumulates much like nitrogen gas in a diver breathing compressed air.”

“I hardly look like Jacque Cousteau, but I think I follow you. The deeper back in time I go and the longer I stay the more intense and urgent my arousal. We figured that out in Madison.”

~~Korolev, hum? Sounds like a Slavic -- Russian? -- accent with a touch of Spanish. Nah, must be my imagination.~~

“Yes, Joanie, but the analogy may be closer to the truth than that. In addition the larger the area affected by your time travel the greater the ‘side effect’. All else being equal, you hit ‘saturation’ sooner, correct?”

“Yes, so, Doctor?” I asked.

~~ Him? No, it couldn’t, he died in 1966? ~~

“We suggest you apply a variant of what divers do, purging and decompression stages,” he continued.

“Purging is breathing pure oxygen or exotic breathing mixtures to force the nitrogen out of your tissues faster?” I asked, not totally certain I was right.

“Precisely, Navy Seals and Army Rangers do the same thing for HALO skydives where they jump from extreme high altitude, and for the same reason -- to prevent nitrogen bubbles in the blood,” said Dr. Pollard taking over.

~~Oh, this is rich! ~~

“You’re implying I can stay longer and go further into the past if I get off prior to departure?” I asked with less-than-innocent interest.

“And you may be able to stay longer if you, ah, relieve some of the tension while you’re there — sort of, well, decompress. The total arousal ‘load’ will be greater because you’re in the past longer, but the residual when you return will be more manageable. The trance you went into at Badger Ordinance may be avoided, we believe,” Pollard added.

I giggled nervously. “I’m not one to stand in the way of progress. I don’t mind the ‘purging’ but the ‘decompression’ is a worry. Can you see me saying, ‘General Washington could you hold off crossing the Delaware until I’ve had a quickie?’”

“It’s that or shorten the trips. You told me yourself that the side effect hasn’t lessened over time, just that you can tolerate it longer,” said Dr. Bellows.

“A series of short trips to pinpoint the exact place in time you wish to visit should cause less of a buildup than one long trip to the same general span of time.” There was logic to what Dr. Korolev said.

“Two questions, Doctor. First, why do I perceive time travel as arousal, but time stop as fatigue. And second, is your first name Sergei?” He smiled a huge smile when I said the name.

“It's likely related to how you manipulate time. With your time travel you’re moving up and down within a time stream and often transport a minimal volume of space-time, that is yourself and not much more. Time stop involves simultaneously holding back the flow of time for a portion and moment of the time stream while maintaining your connection to the stream as a whole. It’s analogous to paddling a canoe up and down a stream vs. trying to dam part of the stream. It’s much easier to paddle.

“As to the second question, I’m glad you recognize me. As your great author Mark Twain said, ‘reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.’”

I smiled back. “Why can I transport objects to and from the past and not experience a continual ‘side effect’ afterwards?”

“Because you’re no longer opposing the flow of time. Moving objects forward or back in time only requires expenditure of temporal energy while you’re transporting it. Time stop requires a continual application of energy and that requirement increases as the two times diverge, much like stretching out a bungee cord. I assume that the bulk of your transports have been from the past to the present?” said Korolev.

“Yes. I transported my grandfather’s motorcycle from 1920 to the present,” I replied.

“By the conservation of energy and mass, those objects existed in some form in the future, so moving them from the past to the present changed little. Moving something from the present to the past requires energy but the increased mass in the past compensates. When time catches up again, any imbalance cancels out,” Korolev explained.

“That explains the difference in the effort required, but not necessarily the perception.”

“You’re a lucky girl?” Korolev offered then laughed. I giggled joyously at his joke.

“Not to seem nosy, but didn’t you die in 1966?”

“It was a cover, Ms. Joan; I was about to be exposed as a mutant. I’m a gadgeteer and regen level three. How do you think I survived the Gulag? When I couldn’t hide that I wasn’t aging normally, I had to flee. Mutants were a threat to the USSR, unless you were KGB. When Khrushchev fell, I lost a powerful protector, so I made plans. I fled to South America; Rio is lovely this time of year. When the Soviet Union collapsed, a former colleague contacted me discretely, and here I am.”

“Why not rocketry?” I wondered.

“No funding. It’s too frustrating.”

“So you’re a powers theorist?” I snickered.

“Da.”

I broke up. ~~Mock Russian? Sergei’s a card! ~~

“It’s rewarding work and I do consulting in aerospace under an assumed name.”

I was going to say Werner Von Braun, but even I have some restraint.

“How do we test your theories then?” I asked.

Dr. Pollard spoke next.
“Medical has a sensor web you’ll wear during the experiments. Dr. Korolev will supervise. Afterward, you’ll discuss any personal observations with Dr. Bellows or one of us if he’s unavailable.”

“You’ll take a series of increasingly deeper time trips at a remote site we’ve scouted. First, you’ll do a sequence of quick down and back trips; taking photos to confirm your ‘destination.’ We’d like to start these this week yet. It’s possible you can do the deeper trips as series of time hops down or up. This would prove a boon to your historical researches. Until tomorrow, Ms. Brown.” Korolev stopped, then kissed my hand.

~~My, he’s a charmer. ~~

* * * *

March 22, 2007 7:59AM

Dear d/j/w you’re wondering what the deal was we struck with Peeper? The answer should be on the air any moment.

“It’s eight AM exactly, and WARS is on the air. Today’s forecast is for partially cloudy skies with winds light to variable, five to ten mph. Today is a green flag day, so it’s a nice day for flying. The lunch special is macaroni and cheese with three cheeses, bell pepper, onion and fresh mushrooms. The music department is holding tryouts at four PM in the King Annex for any student interested in the new pop/rock/country group that Joanie is forming. Please see Mr. King or Joanie for details. This Peeper for WARS signing off.”

~ ~I especially liked that last bit. ~~

That had to kill him; weather report, flag status, dish of the day and official school events and nothing else. He’ll be doing this twice a day, seven days a week, until the end of the spring semester. Slow torture is so satisfying.

* * * *

March 22, 2007 4:00PM

“Ms. Brown, may I speak with you?”

~~Oooh, so formal are we? ~~

“Sure, Peeper. Here to tryout for my band?” I asked and smiled graciously.

“No, I respectfully request to renegotiate our deal. I don’t mind turning over all the profits to the school and reimbursing it for the materials and supplies the print shop and photo lab used, but it’s nightmare to have to broadcast like that.”

I smiled then giggled. “We made a deal. Did you know we have high resolution still photos? They blow up real good.”

“Please?”

“It can’t be that bad. Give it a month. If you behave yourself, we’ll let you do some campus gossip within strict limits. We may agree to let you do a calendar, or more posters, for a cut of the profits going to scholarship, but all the models must give written permission beforehand. Any violation of good conduct, such as the micro recorder you’re trying to use on me, will only make things worse. I can always file that lawsuit against your parents. Oh, Peeper, Sam is still not happy with the deal we made.” I grinned.

~~I love my gadgeteer friends for that handy electronics detector/jammer they made for me. ~~

Peeper winced, then walked away. The delectable Tina walked in as Peeper left.

“Joanie, dear, you’re wanted in Administration immediately,” she said in her silken voice.

“Any idea why?” She just grinned in an unsettling way.

~~I know how Peeper must feel. ~~

“It would spoil the fun.”

“Thanks a lot, Tina.” She laughed and walked off. My eyes locked on her…

~~Not now libido. ~~

* * * *

“I was requested to be here, Ms. Hartford. May I ask why?” She looked pleased with herself.

“Ms. Carson will explain and, Joanie, dear, you have my sympathy.”

~~Ms Hartford called me “Joanie dear?” I’m in for it. ~~

I swore she was laughing quietly as I entered Ms. Carson’s office.

“How may I help you, Ms. Carson?”

“Please call me Beth. “

~~All three of them, Ghod no! ~~

“Am I dying, first Tina, then Ms. Hartford, now you?”

Ms. Carson laughed. “Hardly, dear girl; we received an unusual request today. Copies of Peeper’s latest money-maker ended in the possession of a magazine publisher. They wanted you, Sam, and Lex as you are of legal age; they both said no, but I told the publisher I would ask you.”

“Who is it, People, Newsweek, Scientific American or National Geographic, perhaps?” I asked. Ms. Carson was struggling not to laugh.

“Playboy,” she said, snickered, then recovered.

“An interview with accompanying photos of me in my school uniform?” I hoped.

“The cover, an interview“, she started to giggle but forced herself to stop, “and centerfold.” She lost it. I didn’t know whether to laugh or bust heads.

“An interview is okay, the cover maybe, but the centerfold? I look like jailbait for one. My proportions are ludicrous for another. And, I’m a freakn’ mutant. I was a guy less than a year ago, and they want my naked body in their magazine? No way! Are they crazy?” I ranted.

“They’re serious. They want you in their first ever all-mutant issue. They’re interviewing Dr. Otto for the scientific angle, and the money is equally serious.”

“What, like a million dollars? Hah!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Joanie. Two million, if you agree to the cover, interview, and centerfold. They’re willing to pay it as a charitable contribution to the school -- no taxes.”

~~Damn, it’s for the school. ~~

“That’s tempting. Can I think about it? How soon do they need a decision, and where would they do it?”

“They need it by Monday to make the July issue. The exterior shots would be here, with security ensuring they don’t photograph students or something sensitive. Whateley won’t be identified, per se. We’ll be ‘an elite college preparatory school for mutants.’ The interviews can be here as well. The candid photos in a studio or anywhere they can set up lights and reflectors. They could do it in your linen closet.” Ms Carson laughed and smiled at me. “If it sells as well as expected, we get 10% of the international sales.”

~~How do I say no now? ~~

“I’ll let you know.” I was torn.

~~How dare they treat me like a piece of meat; it’s so degrading … Am I that pretty? I need a second opinion and my head examined. ~~

* * * *

March 22, 2007 7:50PM

“Terrace Hill, how may I direct your call?” asked the receptionist.

“May I speak with Babs, please? I mean Ms. Johnson.”

“Who may I say is calling?”

“Tell her it’s Joanie from Whateley.” I head a gasp.

“Immediately, Ms. Brown.”

~~They must remember “Rambo.” ~~

“Babs here, how are you, Joanie?”

“Great, Babs, how are you?”

“Big as a house, I may be rezoned as a duplex any day now. You didn’t call just to say hello, what’s bothering you, dear?”

“My mother already? Here goes, got this offer, absolutely legit, to make an obscene amount of money for Whateley for just a few days work. A publisher wants to interview me and take some pictures for two million dollars.”

“If it’s legitimate, do it. Hell for half that I’d pose naked for Playboy…

“Joanie…?

“Joanie…?

“It’s Playboy?” she asked in amazement.

“The cover, an interview and centerfold for July 2007; I’d be the star of their first all-mutant issue. It’s for a lot of money. They’d pay it as a charitable donation to Whateley, so it’s tax free. We even get a cut of international sales, but I’m not comfortable.”

“Hon, you have a lovely body -- it can’t be that. It’s not a religious or ethical problem?” Babs asked.

“I’m getting used to my looks. I’m not a prude, and you saw what I wore on the TV show. I’m not worried for myself; it’s you, your family and my surviving family,” I explained.

“Once your dad and sister know how much is being donating to Whateley, they’ll be proud of you. I bet your sister will have a high time teasing you about this -- I would. A pity she can’t tell anyone else,” Babs suggested.

“It’s almost worth it for that alone, it will drive her insane. Ex-brother cackles fiendishly. Did I say that out loud, Babs?” We both snickered. “Dad might have a problem, but only because I resemble Mom.”

“Send him an advance copy as a keepsake, you might be surprised. It may bring up sad memories, but more likely lots of happy ones.”

“He did take photos of her in her one piece in her 20s and early thirties, and in a bikini at over forty. Those last ones they kept for themselves. She still looked pretty hot. What about Mel and her collection?” I asked.

“I can buy her a sealed copy to keep it complete; she’s only eleven, but the cover's okay for her room. Those pop star posters are as racy or worse … Sorry, Joanie, but you know what I mean.”

“No offense, Babs; I’ll send you a couple. What of Eric?”

“Ah, the real problem.”

“Okay, I’m, ah, sweet on him.”

“Afraid you’ll ruin your chances if he reacts badly?” Babs asked.

“Exactly.”

“Gotcha! You do like my son, don’t you, daughter.” She laughed from joy, not to taunt. “I see the problem -- his girlfriend naked in a national magazine. He’ll probably want copies to show his friends.”

“Babs, are you giggling again?” I could hear voices in the background.

“Who’s that, Mom?”

~~ That sounded like Mel. ~~

“Let me get them on the phone,” Babs asked.

“Joanie?”

~~ It is Mel. ~~

“Hi Mel! It’s great to hear you. I’ve got a decision to make, and I need to ask you how you feel.”

“Sure, Joanie, what you want to talk about?”

“I got an offer to do an interview, and pose for pictures in a national magazine. My school would get a lot of money, two million dollars, and a chance of more.”

“That’s wow, Joanie, who’d pay that much? Must be a big magazine like Time or People, huh?”

“Oh, it’s big alright. Mel, I’m calling because I’d be … the photos, well, are ....”

“What’s the matter, Joanie?”

“It’s Playboy. I’d be on the cover, do an interview and be the centerfold for the July issue.”

“You’d be naked?” she asked, then giggled.

“I’m glad you’re taking this well. I thought you might be hurt,” I said.

“Eric will go crazy.”

“That’s my biggest worry. I like your brother a lot, Mel. Will it be a good crazy, or bad?”

“Good, I think. My brother’s not the jealous type. He’ll get mad if they make fun of you, or say bad things, but he’ll like the pictures. He keeps asking if I have any new photos of you. He’s found magazines you were in I didn’t think to check, like Rolling Stone and Sports Illustrated.”

“I can see the music magazine but Sports Illustrated?”

“Eric bought it for me. Something to do with a poll on who the readers wanted in the next Swimsuit Edition. He’s working out every day with Dad, Joanie, running, lifting weights and stuff, and it’s not because he wants to play football. Dad says it ‘cause he wants to look good for you. You should see him, if he wasn’t my brother, I’d ask him for a date, and I don’t date yet. Mom says maybe when I’m fourteen like Eric.”

~~He wants to look good for me, how sweet. ~~

“What do the girls think of him?” I asked.

“They call him all the time now for dates, but he only goes out in a group for fun or to help his friends. He says a lot of girls will only date in a group, to be safe. He tells me they keep asking him if they can be his girl, but he says he already has one.”

I felt worried, almost angry, but why?

~~That brazen little…! ~~

“He has a girl? I’ll kill her! Who is ...?” Mel giggled uncontrollably. “Oh, you mean me.”

~~I’m jealous? Ghod, I’m jealous of myself. Dr. Bellows will get a laugh out of this. ~~

“Joanie, why were you angry? What’s wrong?”

~~Good question. Why am I so angry, so possessive of … No! But it’s the only answer that makes sense. ~~

“I just figured it out now, Mel. You’re the first to know. I love Eric.” Mel gasped. “I don’t think its infatuation, or the novelty of it. That I felt jealous at the thought of another girl with him confirms it. Given some time, I think you’ll be my maid of honor.” Mel giggled with happiness.

~~Am I serious? There goes the last lingering shred of my masculinity.~~

“You want to talk to Eric?” Mel asked.

“Yes, please.”

“Joanie?” That tingle stared up.

“Eric, dear, Mel said you’ve been working out to impress me. That’s nice of you, but do it for your health, or because you like it. Your other actions impress me more.”

“What do you mean?”

“I heard you’re asked out on lots of dates, but go for the fun and to help your friends get dates -- not because you’re dating the girls. That’s being very faithful, Eric.”

“Why shouldn’t I? I want you to like me.” My nipples began to ache.

~~I’ve got four years of this until he’s 18? If we stay together, I’ll kill him the first time we make love -- death by sexual exhaustion. ~~

“Eric, if I liked you any more we’d be having sex this minute in spite of our ages. I’ll come out and say it -- I love you, Eric. I think I have since the dance.”

He laughed nervously away from the phone. I heard him speak softly, but excitedly, to someone in the room.

“She loves me, Mel!”

“Told Ya.” He came back on. I was hot, damp and tingly.

~~Four years, oh my! ~~

“You love me?”

“Yah, believe it or not I do, stud. Now, what do we do about it? It’s not like we can date in the open. I’m in New Hampshire, and an adult, and you’re in Iowa, and fourteen. The press would hound you, if they found out. Until your 18, we can’t do it, um, have sex, unless you’d like visiting me in prison. It won’t be easy, Eric.”

“We could talk on the phone regularly like a date, say every Friday night at eight, my time.”

“I’d like that, any other suggestions?”

“Come out for the summer, Joanie. Mom could use the help with the twins due, and we could spend time together.”

I felt a mild twinge in anticipation. I snapped my oh-so-willing legs back together.

“I’ll see what my schedule is like, but I’ll try, Eric.”

“I’ll wait for you, Joanie.”

“I hope I last that long. You have no idea what your voice is doing to me.”

“If it’s anything like how I’m feeling, you’ll want to be alone for a while. I better go before I, oh … I love you, Joanie. Gottagobye.”

~~Did he just do what I think he did, and I did it to him over the phone?~~

~~“He’s hooked girl, reel him in,” ~~my inner voices were saying to me.

~~Crap, I forgot to ask him about the magazine‘s offer! I’ll call him tomorrow. ~~

* * * *

To be continued
Revised 11/14/2006

Thanks to Itinerant for copious editorial and proofing aid
Special thanks to my evil blonde sister for proofing assistance
Additional proofing assistance generously provided by Janet Nolan