Synopsis:

Another BigCloset TopShelf story.

What is Ultra-X-Amine? Why are Joanie's friends so worried? Joanie's tagged to mentor the new mutant twins and members of MSG visit Whateley. Joanie has an easy day with Korolev and learns Ms Hartford set her up but feels like two million bucks after. Joanie has a nightmare, she hopes

Andy Warhol said,"In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes." What if your 15 minutes came late in life, and fame decided to never let you go? Could you survive the circus your life would become?

Story:

Timeout 3-Continuous play: A Whateley Academy Fan fiction

This is fan fiction for the Whateley Academy series. It may or may not match the timeline, characters, and continuity, but since it's fan fiction, who cares? To see the canon Whateley Stories, check out either Sapphire's Place,

(http://www.sapphireplace.com/stories/whateley.html) or the Big Closet (http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/taxonomy/term/117)."

Another chapter in part three of my TG/sci-fi/superhero/magic and the kitchen sink epic. I’m much better now than when I started this, honest, though comma useage still confuses me; ask Itinerant. Your constructive criticism and advice always helps. This is an exercise in the joys of creativity and in appreciation of the wonderful Whateley Universe. Any violations of copyright, trade mark or use of real people or incidents are purely for purposes of humor or parody and done solely for the free enjoyment of the reading public. All rights reserved in perpetuity, John from Wauwatosa WI, 2005-2006. Not responsible for any brain damage to readers of my stuff.

Adult content advisory: yet again this chapter deals with sexual topics and may not be suitable for younger readers but if you’ve read my stuff you know it’s not graphic and is often silly, but you were warned.

Timeout 3

By John from Wauwatosa
Editorial necromancy by Itinerant
Thanks to Janet Nolan for additional proofing

Chapter 3- The Inverters pt2, LA Story pt 3: Adventures in Photojournalism, The Big Chill pt 3, A Little Nightmare Music

Whateley Academy Dunwich NH, March 28-31, 2007

March 27, 2007

“What is Ultra-X-Amine?” I didn’t like the look on everyone’s faces; they appeared shocked.

“Joanie, ask Mr. Lodgeman if you need details. The Reader’s Digest version says Ultra-X-Amine is a poorly understood compound that induces supers level mutations in individuals with mutant genes. It’s usually fatal except in rare circumstances”

“Charlie, and, I take it, the Mystic Six, being the rare circumstances?”

“Yes, Joanie,” Dr. Otto continued. “Those exposed invariably die from intense burnout. The Mystic Six survived because they were young children when deliberately exposed, as has one other, a current student at Whateley who received a long forgotten sample of the compound as part of a practical joke gone wrong. She survived only due to being a nascent mutant mimic, and because of some unusual aspects of her burnout. That was the last remaining sample, so far as we know, and the knowledge to make the compound was lost long ago.” I saw his name tag in the video feed and smiled.

“So you’re the famous Dr. Otto. Thanks for helping Dr. Sara with my case. I may come to ARC someday for further testing if we can work it out with Whateley.”

“I’d be delighted, Ms. Brown. Our mutual friend, Dr. Sara, told me the most delightful stories about you.”

“I’ll bet she has. Don’t believe her, she lies.” Then I giggled. I can’t help it, I just do.

“Joanie, Otto, to the point,” remonstrated Sara with a chuckle. Dr. Pollard spoke.

“If someone has developed a non-lethal form of Ultra-X-Amine, this is dangerous. Supers made to order or a sudden plague of new supers could overwhelm the health care system. At a minimum, it would be disruptive. How can we help, Dr. Sara?”

“The FBI, CDC, State Crime Lab, and MSG are searching for chemists, biologists, engineers, or anyone else who might be capable of this. They are also tracing shipments of chemicals and equipment that such complex synthesis might require, and for suitable facilities. With so many of each in the area due to UW-Madison’s proximity, it’s a difficult task, but they claim to have leads. Doctors Otto, Pollard, and Polland, I need your detailed analysis of our data and of the trace samples of the compound we recovered from the victims’ blood and urine. Mr. Lodgeman, I need any recollections the Mystic Six have of the original experiments. Also, I need all the notes and any recollections from Sherry’s Ultra-X-Amine related experimentation. I’m sorry, but it’s necessary.”

“I understand. I’ll contact the Tanakas and the rest today,” said Charlie. The doctors gave their agreement.

“What am I needed for, Sara, historical research?” I said hinting at my “special” kind of research.

“I need you to help the twins. You’re a recent mutant, a famous one, and you know the stresses involved. They’ve not experienced gender change, but their lives are torn apart. We’ve had at least one kidnap attempt at the hospital. Security stopped them, just. I fear for their safety and that of the staff. They’re on a Wisconsin Air National Guard plane to Whateley as we speak. Dari and Gin are escorting them. Dari, being an alumna, is giving the twins a quick course in Whateley so they won’t be total newbies. They should arrive at Whateley in a couple hours.”

“I’m not needed for a ‘research trip?’”

“Only if absolutely necessary. The authorities claim they’re on the trail. I suggested they make use of your ‘talents’, but you know how stubborn men are.”

“Sara, I used to resemble that remark.”

“Sorry, ah … girl.” Sara said between snickers. “It’s dangerous, Joanie, if they have more of the compound. Regen or not, if they exposed you, it might trigger another burnout, but to those without mutant genes it should be harmless.””

“My own regen might kill me?”

“There is a small risk, yes.”

“Then I gallantly volunteer for the death-defying task of mentoring teenage twins.” We giggled. “Sara, what of their parents?” I asked.

“Their status is unknown. They disappeared soon after our EMTs took the children. The parents knew to call us because of that website you mentioned on TV. If not for that, the children would have died. We barely saved them as it is. A regular hospital isn’t equipped properly. Officially, their parents are missing and possibly kidnapped or worse. There are no leads. See why I need your help?”

“Are any of the blood relatives mutants?” Dr. Polland asked.

“Not that we know. It’s possible the children were targeted at random or for some other reason. It’s all pretty vague so far, sorry,” said Sara.

“What of the kids, how are they?” I asked.

“They turn fourteen next month, and physically appear largely unchanged by the mutation. The only significant difference from their doctor and school records is their eye and hair color. Thomas had brown eyes and hair, while Thomasina had blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. They’re eyes are now an intense emerald green and their hair is changing; the roots appear reddish blond. It reminds me of your hair early into your transformation, Joanie. It's growing at a fairly normal rate so we’re not certain of the final color. Their powers are not fully tested either, but Dari and I recommend Hawthorne Hall for now.”

“A pair of strawberry blonds, my kind of … You said Hawthorne? Poor kids. Are they violent, or have uncontrolled powers?”

“A combination. As new mutants we’d keep them here until they gained some control, but the kidnap attempt makes that untenable. Whateley will have to finish the job.”

“But why Hawthorne?” asked Dr. Pollard?

“They’re inverters,” He said.

I saw looks of surprise on everyone’s’ faces.

“That’s a new one on me, inverters?” I asked.

“A rare sub-class of nullifier which is a subclass of PK or Package-deal Kinesis. Nullifiers were hypothesized, but never before confirmed. Instead of damping other mutant’s powers, their power acts like a corner prism and turns that power back toward its source. Theirs appears to be a generalized inverter power that responds to TK, energy beams, telepathy, and physical force. If it’s a threat, their power kicks in,” said Dr. Sara.

“You’re saying their power is passive and defensive by nature, so why Hawthorne?” I asked, Dr. Otto answered.

“They’re natural trouble magnets. Lacking an obvious offensive power, exemplar looks, or a fierce appearance, they seem easy targets. Some bully will try to intimidate them and go too far.”

“Like how the Omegas treated me first day at Whateley,” I said.

“Joanie had a run-in with the Omega’s?” asked Dr. Otto.

“They’ll never make that mistake again. She time stopped them and...” Dr. Sara gave Dr. Otto the “Cliff’s Notes” version of the incident.

“So that’s what the rumors were about. I’d heard a female warper had humiliated one of the campus thug squads, but I didn’t know it was you, Joanie. We do need to bring you in for testing someday,” Dr. Otto replied.

“What of our inverters?” I said.

“When something attacks them, the response is automatic. It’s likely a TK shell or field that reacts instantly to danger. The greater the force striking it, the stronger it reacts. Somehow the attacking energy re-enforces the field. Whatever hits it is returned toward its point of origin with little loss of power. This often infuriates the attacker as they think they’re being mocked. The violence escalates until the attacker suffers serious injury,” Dr. Otto said.

“If the attack occurs in a crowd, it turns into a brawl with many injured, often by accident?” I suggested.

“Exactly, Joanie. The inverter is like the initiator in nuclear bomb and this applies to physical force, too. Throw a ball at them they expect, you have a game. Throw one hard they don’t expect, you’re lucky not to bean yourself,” Dr. Otto concluded.

“I’d think a mild tranquilizer would help,” I offered.

“That would be worse as it’s a fully autonomic reflex. Only if they’re unconscious does the response not manifest. Dr. Alex and I feel though it’s a self—adjusting TK field, with training they may be able to turn it on and off at will, or moderate its intensity. They might learn to dissipate the energy rather than reflect it. As it stands now it’s like that old sci-fi series, Star Trek and the starship deflector shields -- only these shields shoot back.”

“Nasty, Sara, and it could look to observers and the Police that they did it and not the instigator.”

“That’s why they need to be at Whateley until they learn control and the people trying to harm them are captured,” said Dr. Pollard.

“Other than they know of me and my connection to Wisconsin, why me? There are other students or staff better versed on powers theory or psychology.”

“Because you’re bright, friendly, and a warper -- that last quality is crucial. So far that is one of the few powers they don’t react to. Empaths and telepaths are at some risk but your mental powers are passive so that shouldn’t be a problem. A brick or energizer would be a disaster,” Dr. Sara explained.

“But Hawthorne’s full of energizers and violent types, Sara,” I said.

“Yes, Joanie, but they — the students -- know that too. Hawthorne residents are extra careful with each other, and I recommended they have a room just for the two of them -- they are twins. Now that we’re all up to speed here, it’s time we take our leave,” said Sara.

“Wait, how should I dress to meet them? The full blown Whateley school uniform, casual clothes, my Whateley Security uniform, the ‘Joanie’ leather look, or something else?” I saw Carrie walk on camera.

“Ooh, choices, Joanie. Being the only familiar face on campus, the Joanie look toned down with a Whateley school blazer shows your connection to the school yet looks familiar. We miss you girl.”

“Hi, Carrie, I miss you too. Say hi to MSG for me. Be seeing you.”

“Number Six, The Prisoner,” Carrie and Dr. Sara shouted then broke the link.

* * * *

I rushed to Poe and changed into appropriate clothes. I must say the preppy school blazer over my leathers and Steve Zink number 11 boots was downright sexy. I’ll have to remember this look for when Eric is legal. I hustled to Administration to see if we had any info on the twins.

“Ms. Hartford, do we have a registration packet, or any other information on a set of boy/girl twin mutants that are arriving today from Wisconsin, Thomas Allen and Thomasina Alice Smith? I’ve been tabbed as their mentor and advisor, poor kids.”

~~That nearly got a laugh out of her, maybe there’s some hope.~~

“Nothing yet, other than their names and the names of the two members of the Madison Supers Group escorting them, that makes three of you at Whateley, five if you count their escort.”

“They're just visiting. Wisconsin’s not planning an invasion, certainly not this close to the spring walleye season.”

“Walleye, that’s a fish?” asked a secretary.

“Walleyed Pike, the best damned eating fish on earth, with the possible exception of Lake Perch, or maybe Smelt. Sorry, it’s a Midwest thing.” They all looked at me oddly. ”Is there anything else for me while I wait for them to arrive?”

“I have some mail for you, Joanie. It looked important so I wanted to hand it to you, personally,” Ms. Hartford purred.

“It’s not a bomb, is it?” I said then I giggled. The Administration staff fought to keep in control, but Ms. Hartford exploded with laughter.

~~What?~~

Then I saw the Rabbit Head logo in the return address.

~~I thought I forgot to tell them my answer … oh! Okay, “Amelia”, two can play this game.~~

“Thank you for informing them I’d accept their offer, Ms. Hartford. I plain out forgot in the excitement.” I walked over and hugged her, then kissed her on the cheek.

~~Hum, she doesn’t taste of poison, or smell of formaldehyde, definitely not plastic, and she feels warm-blooded. There go four popular theories down the drain.~~

Her cheeks developed a lovely red blush.

~~Game, set, and match to Joanie. Time for me to be a good sport.~~

“I’m just having fun with you, Ms. Hartford. Thanks, and I mean it. I didn’t have the guts to send it in, but Whateley does get a bundle for me taking my clothes off. It seems a fair trade.”

“You’re welcome?” she said somewhat confused.

~~That rattled her cage.~~

I sat in a quiet corner reading the letter. They were pleased I’d agreed so quickly.

~~Damn, Ms. Hartford faxed it in on the 22nd? That’s the day I first heard of it. I wonder … maybe Pinky knows when her Aunt's birthday is, and her real age. Revenge is a dish best served with butter frosting and candles -- lots and lots of candles.

~~They’re willing to do all the photos and interviews at or near Whateley; that’s a plus. These look like airline tickets, and an invite to his California mansion? Nah, I’m not a hot tub kind of gal. I'd better let them know I can’t make that. It pays to be polite. They say this should take three days at 16 hours a day, though possibly longer. I’m a regen, I can handle it. Now, two million divided by 48 hours is … ~~

“Joanie!” Gin cried out as she ran up then hugged me mercilessly.

~~My, that felt good.~~

“You too, Gin, Dari. Everyone listen up please. These two are Ginseng Glory and Dairy Maid, two of the nicest mutants you’ll ever meet.”

“Looking sharp, Joanie, but why the part Whateley, part leather, look?” asked Dari.

“Carrie and Sara suggested it for meeting the kids, mix the familiar with the new?”

Gin led two worried looking teens to meet me. They tried to hide behind her.

“Joanie, may I introduce Thomas and Thomasina Smith.” said Gin.

They were kids-next-door types, no fashion models in training or apprentice monsters, just average kids. Average height and build for their age, he was roughly 5’6”, 120 lb, she was slightly taller at 5’7”, 100lbs, but girls do mature sooner. Except for their shockingly emerald green eyes and the strawberry blond of the new hair coming in they were normal in appearance.

They sat down on a couch in Ms. Carson’s office; she’d kindly invited us in. They seemed happy enough on the surface, but their body language said they were terrified.

“How you two holding up? Were Dari and Gin good to you?”

“We’re okay,” said Thomas, his sister just nodded.

“You’re not okay, even I can tell that. If you two shook any harder you’d fall apart. What’s wrong, you can’t be afraid of me?”

I sat on the floor sort of side-saddle to be less imposing; I’m in a short skirt here people. Dari and Gin found some chairs.

“And it can’t be Ms. Carson, she’s a sweetie. She puts up with me being here, that qualifies her for sainthood.” Dari burst into giggles.

~~Odd, I thought she was a laugher.~~

Gin snickered demurely and Ms. Carson stuck her tongue out and winked but only for a moment before returning to her normal friendly face of authority. The twins smiled weakly. Thomasina spoke up.

“You’re so famous and all, Ms. Joanie, and these last few days were terribly strange.” She took a deep breath. “We felt awful during our mutation, we heard guns going off, and … no will tell us where Mom and Dad are!”

She started crying, her brother moved to hug her and he started sobbing too. Dari and Gin went to comfort them. I used this interruption to my advantage.

“I need to use the ladies room, excuse me.”

* * * *

Well I did, but that’s not why I left.

“Ms. Hartford, do you know where Pinky Conners is now?”

She tapped a few keys on her computer.

“She’s with Dr. Bellows until 11:50.”

“Thanks, I should have remembered. Could you get a message to her to meet me at our table in The Crystal Hall? She’s to meet me there as soon as she’s done with him. It’s important.”

“Certainly, Ms. Brown, I wonder…”

“Yes?”

“Could I have an autographed copy of the July issue when it comes out?”

“Sure, but why would you want one?”

“Insurance,” Ms. Hartford said stone-faced, though I could tell she was straining not to laugh.

* * * *

I fought back the giggles, and returned to Ms. Carson’s office. They were calmer now. I guess they’d cried out their stress.

“Do they have rooms assigned yet?” I asked, hoping they got a joint one as Dr. Sara said.

“For the time being, they’ll share the northwest corner room, third floor of Hawthorne. We’re making an exception on boys and girls in the same dorm room as they are twins,” said Ms. Carson.

“See, I told you she’s nice, “ I said.

“You’ll love it. I had a school friend who lived in Hawthorne. There’s a great view on that end and you’re near the bathrooms and showers, a big plus,” said Dari. “We have to catch the Wisconsin Air National Guard plane by 5PM, but we can stay for a few hours and get you settled in. Want a campus tour?”

* * * *

Tom and Tina, that’s what they preferred to be called ~~Great, another Tina.~~ were wowed when we got to the Crystal Hall, the next to last stop on our tour, the last stop being their dorm room.

“Are they still serving the TaterTots with French-fried onions, and those spicy curly fries? Their's were the best.” You could tell Dari was a gourmand.

“At least once a day. They’re still good, too. Tom, Tina, let’s get you lunch. Grab a tray and have your student ID cards ready to hand to the cashiers. They’re testy sometimes.” I giggled.

“Joanie, what did you do?” asked Gin.

“If a petite brunette named Cheryl is working, call her Brittany Spears.” I covered my mouth until I settled down.

“Tom and Tina, do be careful what you pick out. Some Whateley students have strange dietary requirements. You don’t want a cage of live hamsters on your plate by mistake.”

“Joanie!” Gin cried out.

“She’s right, Gin, but usually the strange stuff is kept out of the normal serving line. Treat yourself to some soft serve ice-cream when you’re done. This is some of the best I’ve ever had. I’m from Wisconsin and I ought to know.” said Dari.

“Are you about to sing the Pabst Blue Ribbon Jingle?” I asked.

We checked out, -- Cheryl was off today, ~~Damn!~~, and sat down at my favorite table. It provided a good view of the main campus commons. We’d been eating a short while when Pinky walked up. She was slowly becoming more comfortable with her situation. Whether it was due to me or Dr. Bellows, I don’t know, but she was dressed more appropriately for her male hermaphroditic form, a touch unisex, but definitely male. She even wore a school tie though many did not. She/he looked sharp and confident, and I said so.

“You look great Pinky. The tie is a nice touch.”

~~Is that silver tie-tack she’s wearing what I think that is?~~

“I can’t wear most of my favorite jewelry or earrings with this body but I still can have some flash.”

She/he smiled happily. Pinky was definitely happier in recent days.

“Pinky, these are Tom and Tina Smith. They’re twins and just arrived today. Since you’re my friend, and live in Hawthorne on the same floor, I thought you could be their friend and show them the ropes; the do’s and don’ts of student life at Whateley.”

“Sure thing, Joanie, I’m so proud what you’re doing for the school. My Aunty told me how much money we’re getting for you posing and giving an interview, and all the guys I’ve talked with say they want to buy one when it comes out, even some of the girls said so, too.”

“Slow down, Pinky. Take a breath. You’re talking so fast I can hardly follow you. Your Aunt told you about my magazine deal?”

“That’s why I’m wearing the silver tie-tack she gave me. Aunty is handing them out all around campus along with a little note telling them why. She said she bought a couple hundred.”

~~I’m sunk.~~

Gin and Dari looked close at the Rabbit Head logo pin and stated giggling.

“It’s not that funny, and it's for two million dollars, minimum. Your Aunt and I are going to have a long talk and she’d better …” I saw Ms. Hartford walking past handing out pins. “Hey, don’t I rate one, Ms. Hartford?” She walked over, smiling happily and handed me one. “This game goes to you.” I made a chalk mark in the air. She nodded and walked off. I pinned it on my blazer’s lapel.

“Ms. Joanie?” asked Tom.

“Just, Joanie, okay?”

“Isn’t that a Playboy logo?”

“Yes, I’m Miss July 2007, and no snickers, girls.”

They all broke up. I could tell the rest of the day would be downhill from here. The things I do to earn a buck.

The rest of the afternoon we worked hard getting the twins set up in their room, and my friends from MSG back to their plane. I’d wished we could visit longer, but they have their own lives. I saw them off then spent several more hours escorting Tom and Tina around campus and arranging for their medical and powers testing. I had evening shift with Security, so I left them in Pinky's capable hands. I knew I could trust her/him now, and there was a chance they could help each other. They could even be each others’ dates for the mandatory school dances, Tina when Pinky was both, and Tom when she was just a she. I gave them all some quick advice before I left.

“Tom and Tina, Pinky is a special kind of shape shifter, she’s a were. Her base form is a girl, but every other 28 days she becomes like she is now, a male hermaphrodite -- both sexes but male in outward appearance. She’s understandably upset about it, but is adapting.”

Tom and Tina each grabbed one of Pinky's hands and gave a friendly squeeze.

“Pinky, FYI, Tom and Tina are inverters. It’s like a nullifier, but their power turns an attack back on its source. That applies to physical and mental powers as well as TK, and energy blasts, so be careful, okay? I’m mostly a warper so I don’t set off their defense. You two know how to contact me if there’s any problem, and Pinky will help too. Wish I could stay but I have to go now. Duty calls.”

“Joanie, after our 7:00AM run, let’s meet with Tom and Tina at 7:45AM, by the main door to Hawthorne then go to breakfast as a group?”

“You bet.”

* * * *

March 29, 2007

“Today is an easy one, Ms. Brown, a review of what we’ve done so far and where we are going next with our tests.” Korolev explained.

“I don’t get to time travel today, darn. I was so looking forward to it.” I licked my lips and pouted.

I like this new and improved body. Oh, I miss the old me, but this body is so much fun. It’s like I traded in the old reliable family minivan for a Ferrari, a Ferrari that it came with its own service garage and mechanic. The options that came standard with this “model” astound me. The range of “entertainment” activities is better, too, and with this body I’ll have no problems getting the guys to “lend” me that one option I don’t have anymore. I’m sure they would if I was “that sort of girl,” which I’m not. A good thing as my contraceptive options are limited to condoms, the rhythm method and abstinence.

Given that I’m far more old-fashioned than I thought, the latter seems the choice for now. I’m amazed at how fast I became a one man woman, and I can’t have “ahum” with him legally for four years. Maybe that’s part of what attracted me to him, his being underage, and it’s not in a perverted way. Having to wait gives us time to mature, and get used to the idea, and believe me, I need it.

~~Gees, is he speaking to me? Korolev must be pissed, my mind wandered off again.~~

“Sorry Dr. Korolev, I was preoccupied.”

“The point I was making is when you knew precisely the ‘when’ you were traveling to or had just a rough date but a particular event, you homed in on it with great accuracy. The Wisconsin State Capitol building fire trip and the research trip for Operations are examples.”

“But what of these recent tests, you had me going purely by “feel”. The ‘go as far as the Operations trip “felt” then double that’ and so on, no specific dates?”

“I suspect if I asked you to revisit those same points in time you would do so with ease. We believe you have an internal ‘time sense’ and an intuitive feel for the flow of time as you manipulate it in either travel or your time stop.”

This sounded intriguing and like a challenge.

“Test me.”

“Okay, Joanie. Give me your best estimate of the year, month, and day you reached on each of the test trips you did for me.”

By now they had analyzed the body sensor data and the photos I took and the ice sample and had a fairly good idea of when I’d traveled to. I’d not seen any of it yet. All I’d got were the preliminary results but nothing precise. Korolev described the test trips, and I gave my answers. He took a few minutes to run some calculations.

“The further back in time you go, the harder it is for us to get precise times for your destination. We have only the limited evidence you could gather on such short-duration trips but at the worst you’re off less than one percent and that’s the deep trip to the continental ice sheet.”

“You mean the noon, July 04th, 10511 BC trip?” I was showing off but Korolev had been condescending at times.

“Give or take 100 years in our measurements. Your internal time sense may well be correct. My fellow colleagues and I suspect it’s a subconscious form of clairvoyance that allows you to guide your travels. It’s logical, if you can travel corporeally though time you can mentally as well, at least in some manner. You also have a ‘feel’ for the temporal energy used, since you could repeat precisely the time traveled in the Operations trip on that first solo trip at the remote site, and that was with no passenger that your passive empathic/telepathic powers might get feedback from.

"Our next series of tests will be for precision, and will involve testing the bounce up, with and with out ‘decompression.’ After those we will test your duration at ‘depth’ using ‘decompression‘ to lengthen the time your can remain. We’ll commence these next week, Joanie.”

“I look forward to it, and thanks for calling me Joanie.”

* * * *
March 30, 2007

Dear d/j/w Tina and Chris invited me to sleepover this weekend, with Dr. Bellows downstairs its safe enough, if we’re careful. Anyways, I like hanging out with them. Maybe we can invite Pinky over some time, she’d or she/he’d have fun.

* * * *

March 31, 2007, 2:53am

“NO! Make it stop, please! It’s horrible! Kill me now!”

“Wake up, Joanie. It’s just a dream, wake up.”

“Aaaaaaaaaeeeee! Nooooooooo!”

Wake up please, Joanie. It’s okay. It’s Tina, and Chris is here, too, calm down.”

“I just had the worst nightmare, Chris, Tina.”

“We kinda figured that out, Joanie.” said Tina. They both looked concerned for me and very sleepy.

~~Damn it’s not even three in the morning!~~

I’d had nightmares before, very few as a child, but I’d had a series of them after my transformation, mostly in the first few days. I never told Dr. Sara -- too embarrassed -- though I suspect she knew. They started up again for a while after my campus assault, but strangely not after the kidnapping, I think I was too angry. Talking with Dr. Bellows helped with that, but this was different, and it was so vivid, like I was there.

“What was it girlfriend, falling, fire, drowning, the campus assault, or your near rape in Boston?”

“No, Tina, nothing like that but it was hideous. She was beautiful but it was so evil.”

“You dream some shape-shifting monster attacked you?” asked Chris.

“She, she, she … it was so bad!”

“What was it, Joanie?” Chris questioned me..

They both gave me a hug. If I still was a guy my underwear would be binding something awful on a part of my anatomy. As it was, I felt more than safe in their embrace.

~~Another time, Joanie, maybe. I’ll have to ask Eric first.~~

“In my dream there’s this slender young woman, Dani. She’s average height, 5’6” or slightly taller. By physical appearance, she belonged on a college campus, or looked like a student teacher. In my dream, she’d been teaching at Whateley for some months on a part-time basis, a History of Early Egypt or some such title, so we were acquainted. She may also have been an expert on mythological races and an archaeologist back in Egypt. Possibly we’d become friends, I’m not sure; it’s all a little fuzzy. She was driving back from a seminar in Boston, something to do with early Egyptian civilization. I think she was a scheduled speaker.

I was in Dunwich on an errand when the weather turned cold, wet and nasty. I waited for the rain to stop; wet roads and motorcycles are not a good match. Dani sees me and offers me a ride. We wrestle my cycle into the back of her truck and drive off. The late fall, early winter rain is pouring by now so she has to concentrate on her driving. Next this song starts playing on her truck’s radio. Did I tell you she had the heater on real high?”

“No, Joanie, but it figures, Egypt, heat,” Tina said.

“Okay, we’re in her truck, she has an oldies country station on, I mean real oldies, 30s, 40’s, some 50s, and they were playing an old Hank William’s hit, Why Don’t You Love Me (Like You Used to Do?) . She started humming, softly, I think it was humming but she didn’t do it for long, thank Ghod. It took all the control I had not to flinch or make a sarcastic remark. I was embarrassed to think that, she was doing me a big favor and was such a nice person and all I could think of was how awful her humming sounded. She stopped humming. I kept quiet so she could concentrate on driving down the narrow, winding, and wet road. A while later, I can’t remember what song was on the radio then, I don’t want to remember, the rain came down harder and she sang. It was just one line of the song, but the damage was done.”

“And that’s what had you screaming in your sleep? What a wuss!”

“You didn’t have to listen to it, Chris.”

“How bad could it be?”

“Since my mutation, my ability to discriminate between notes and tone, and my sense of rhythm are the best they’ve ever been, even compared to me as a child. My music career and teaching duties have sharpened that further. Ever been on a field trip with 40 plus kids in a school bus when they all insist on singing ‘99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall’ all the way through or ‘John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt’ non-stop for half an hour?”

“Yeah, the girl’s soccer club in middle school was like that. It was annoying but fun,” said Tina.

“What if in your mind the bus never stopped and the kids never stopped singing those same two songs, ever.”

“That would grate after a while,” Tina admitted.

“It was worse, indescribably worse. She was sharp, flat, a half beat ahead of the music, then a full beat behind, sometimes all at once. And the tone, Gilbert Gottfried with a bad sinus infection and strep throat is angelic by comparison.”

“It couldn’t be that bad. For one, how could she be ahead, behind, flat, and sharp all at the same time, and second, it's just music,” said Chris.

“So I’m exaggerating some.”

“Joanie?” they gave me 'the look.'

“Okay, I’m exaggerating a lot, but she was bad. What was scary is she had this nice speaking voice, and from what little I heard she had the potential to be a decent singer; she had a pleasant tone otherwise, but you had to hear it. You’ve heard the old gag about someone’s violin playing being so bad, they sound like the catgut is still in the cat?” Tina and Chris nodded, “Itzhak Perlman at the height of his ability vs. Jack Benny at his worst.” Tina and Chris looked at me oddly again.

“So she wasn’t that bad, but I’m making a point. She was infuriatingly close to being pretty good, but her timing or pitch was off enough to truly irritate. If you ever heard Jack Benny playing for laughs you’d understand. Her errors seemed chaotic, almost random. She was pretty good for a moment or two, then pain! This was Chinese Water torture singing, but I couldn’t find it in my heart to make her stop -- she so enjoyed the music. I wanted to grab her by the shoulders, and drag her off to remedial vocal class, maybe after months of intense lessons?

"Like I said, she sang only a line or so but I couldn’t help myself, and I started moaning. I tried to hold it in, I clamped both hands hard over my mouth and nose but I couldn’t stop. I felt so bad; there was such joy in her voice despite the horrors of it. It was like making fun of a disabled person. I was more upset with myself than with her. The expression on my face must have been memorable, a surrealist mosaic of pain, regret, sympathy and shock. What truly scared me was, soon after she stopped singing, we stopped at an intersection with another road and her expression suddenly changed, I imagined for a moment she had a glowing aura, then as suddenly she was back to her usual self if perhaps slightly embarrassed. Our exchange went something like this,

“I'm sorry, Joanie. Sometimes I forget there are other people in the car. That's a big reason my students let me ride alone.” Then she grins. “You know, with your singing talent you could help me. There's this Willie Nelson number, “On The Road Again”, that I'd like to learn to sing properly ....”

“And that’s when you woke us with your screams?”

“I am not that shallow, Chris. I’m considerate of other’s feelings. I remember saying something like,

“Sure, Dani, I’d like that. I bet with some lessons you’d have a lovely singing voice.”

“I have my doubts. I’d be satisfied with not making my students flinch.” Then she pauses, her smile slowly becoming wicked, almost feral. “You know, Joanie that could take months -- many, many months…”

“That’s when I screamed.”

“A weird dream, Joanie, but still a dream.” said Tina.

“I’m not so certain it was, it was too real. I was there, like in my time travels, I could see her, smell her, feel the vibrations of the music, the cold rain pelting us, the warm air gushing out of the trucks fore, aft, and seat heaters. It was as if she was a cobra, and I was some helpless victim about to be bitten; she was hypnotic. What was so galling is I knew this woman, Dani, was kind hearted, intelligent, a natural teacher, endlessly inquisitive, and a lover of music. I got the impression, lord knows from where, she could sing beautifully, but long ago, something tied to religious worship. It was as if she was detached from time, in some fashion. My doctors said I might have a low level precognitive gift, being a warper with time powers, but it never came out in testing. Why precognitive vision? Ghod help us if I’m right,”

“Back to bed Joanie.” said Tina.

“Can I cuddle with you two, I’m still frightened.”

“Okay, but no funny business Miss ‘I’m being faithful to my boyfriend,’” she replied.

“But I am, honest, why else would I turn down what you offered the last time.” Why did I tell them about Eric, why?

* * * *

To be continued
Additional proofing assistance generously provided by Janet Nolan

Notes:

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