Faded (Rough draft... well more of an idea of sorts... and yes, it's not a transgender story)

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I made this story back when I was a wee boy in about, I think, sophomore year of high school. The reason why this story was never finished is that I ended up finding out that I am a girl, not a guy. So, queue the dysphoria and severe levels of depression. I'm interested if anyone wants me to reinvent the story to make it more interesting. Somehow I still have the ideas and plans for this story. By the way, this story is not done and the original will probably never be created.
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I woke up staring out a window. Using the sunlight to tell time it is about lunch time or so. Inching my way off the bed. I slid my feet onto the ground and used my hands turning my body to sit on the bed. I viewed the room in which I had slept in. This room had such a bare and gloomy feeling to it. Its window remained cracked and shattered. The walls were such a bland color and filled with holes. There also is a mirror that hangs opposite of the window that had a huge break that went down diagonally to each corner. Wait, what is that black thing? I inspected closer. “Shit!” I jump back hitting the window. The black thing mimicked me. Noticing this I moved in different positions to see how far the entity will take it. Then, I realize that thing is me. Letting out a sigh of relief, “I really cannot get used to my appearance.” I just remember that I, myself, now existed a ghost. Sometimes I overlook the part where I am dead. I forget because I walk, talk, and do things like any other normal human can do. Of course, I can’t get hungry, nor do I feel certain urges but, I am still able to use all five senses. It still seems a bit vague on how I died, but I do know I’ve been dead for twenty years. Everything between now and twenty years ago just seems so vague. I have no recollection of how I died, I just know it was painful. I also remember my name: Russell Barkley. I walk outside of the ruined battered house. The house seems to be familiar. It has a familiar faded green paint and looks kind of like a barn with an extra extended part to it. The yard around the house was all overgrown with grass the size taller than an average man. The driveway that connected with the house and the street that the house lived on was broken, tattered, and worn with plants growing through the cracks. I looked at everything wanting to know: why do I not remember anything between now and twenty years ago?

I turned and walked towards the street. The street was only a one-way street and not even paved. With a determined strut, I walked to the one-way street hoping to be a paved road. As I expected there was a paved road but, the paved road had only a faded yellow line at the center. I could choose left or right. I did not know whether left will lead me to my answers or my destruction. I had only a feeling of instinct that I will find answers to my left. I walked and walked for a time that only God knew. There I stood viewing a city. It was a city with many lights and never slept. I run heading for the city with haste.

When I walk through the city everything around me stayed away from me. Babies cried, Dogs barked, cats hissed, and people dodged when I pass by. I tried touching someone to get their attention they would only shake turn and gave a fast pace away from me. I did not know what to do I was stuck. At the corner of my eye, I saw an ATM machine. I thought I remembered something and touched my pocket. I felt in my pocket it was flat and slick. I pulled out the object from my pocket and found it to be a credit card. Walking up to the ATM I was a bit nervous. I swiped the card and when the machine asked for the pin number I was befuddled. For a moment I stood there thinking about what could possibly be the pin and I just said, “Screw it.” Inputting in four numbers “2546” the machine in big letters said “correct” and I had access to my bank account.

6, 149, 876, 975 dollars is what I found in my bank account. I was astonished at how rich I was. I decided to grab sixty dollars from the machine. What will I do with sixty bucks anyway? I guess I could try and eat something, but where will I go? I am so stuck. I think I will just walk. I walk a lonely road that could only lead towards the next block over. There I turned left and saw a very convenient convenience store. I stop and by myself said, “What would be the point going in that store?” I took a step to mumble, “Damn it.”

The chips were good but were a bit too unhealthy tasting. I chomped on chips for a while walking home thinking there is nothing else to do and its getting dark. I walk to the house and it started pouring. “Shit!” Is what I said when it started. I started sprinting, I got close to the house and saw something yellow close to it. I stopped to take a better look at it and it still was too blurry. I took a step and slipped blurting,” Ow! Oh, that’s right I don’t feel pain.” I, with a swift push, got back up. I ran towards the house and when I got closer the yellow thing looks a lot less blurry. I stopped in shock. The house I was living in got demolished. Coming to my knees I did not know what to think. I feel something coming from my eyes. Am I crying? Why am I crying? Is this significant to me? I did not know what to think. I could only weep for the house that was not important to me.

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Comments

Probably Irrelevant to Your Concept...

...but there's an old (1950's, I think) short fantasy story surprisingly similar to this. We're in Germany or eastern Europe, pre WWI. The guy, after sleeping unfamiliarly all morning in the bedroom of a house that's seen better days, walks into town and gets shunned by everyone he encounters. When he goes into a store to buy groceries, the frightened shopkeeper gives him whatever he wants and seems surprised when the guy pays him. The food doesn't seem to satisfy him as he walks home. He eventually realizes that he's been a vampire for a number of years, sleeping the days away in a basement coffin and feeding at night.

Eric