Hatching a Heroine - Chapters 5 and 6

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Chapter 5


Melissa’s eyelids opened, for a moment, before closing again. She was still laying in the same room she’d gone to bed in. She still had breasts, like before she’d gone to sleep. Not that she’d expected things to magically get better, in her sleep. If anything, she was relieved that things hadn’t gotten somehow worse.

She was trapped in another world with a woman’s body, and the only way home was to defeat an immortal sorceress-queen. She didn’t want to think about it, but “defeat” probably meant “kill” in Lonna’s eyes, too. 

Melissa tried to decide whether it was worth getting up, or if she should just try and sleep until they forced her out of bed. That was when she heard it: a faint humming coming from outside the room. It wasn’t loud enough to be a bother; it was barely loud enough to be heard. Still, Melissa was... intrigued.

Everything else Melissa had come across had reeked of poverty, misery, and death. By contrast, this humming sounded happy, the first bit of joy that she could associate with this world. 

If someone was happy, Melissa wanted to know why. She wanted to share in it. Maybe even feel a bit better, herself.

Melissa opened her eyes to half of an unfamiliar ceiling; the rest had a hole from - she was assured - a wizard gouging it out with a magical explosion.

Melissa got out of bed, stretching as best she could in her too-tight clothing as she moved for the door. She peered past the main living area and into the kitchen, where she saw Lonna standing over a wood-burning stove. Lonna had a small copper pot bubbling on the stove - and as she took it off the flames, Melissa realized that the joyful noise from before was coming from no one less than Lonna herself.

Lonna blew on the stove, her breath instantly extinguishing the merrily dancing flames, to Melissa's surprise. Was that the result of a spell? Or was there more to Lonna’s gift then she’d let on?

“I know you’re there, Melissa,” Lonna muttered, placing the pot on the table. “Come sit down.“

Melissa hesitated for a moment, then walked up to the kitchen table and pulled out a dingy little stool from under it. Plopping down on it, she turned to Lonna with a smile. “So what’s for breakfast?” 

“Maize porridge, with salted pork and some mushrooms I grew in the corner. Plus each of us gets three eggs! It’s practically a feast.  Eat up - you’re going to need your strength for our itinerary.”

“Our what now?” Melissa stared into the large bowl. Pale, yellow porridge, with little bits of mushroom and pork studded here and there through it. It looked fine, and smelled good enough to make Melissa’s stomach growl. All the same…. “I’m not eating random mushrooms that were grown in a corner.”

Lonna rolls her eyes. “They’re Freeman's Steaks, impossible to mistake for a toxic mushroom - and you’ll eat them, if you want to keep your strength up. Ever been mountain climbing?”

Melissa swallowed, hard.  “Can’t say I have.” 

Lonna went back to the stove and grabbed a plate of curiously small eggs - the edges crisped in bacon grease, and with deep golden over-easy yolks - from atop the counter.  She placed it next to the porridge pot, before handing Melissa a roughly-hewn wooden spoon. 

“Eat up," Lonna cheerfully commanded. "But be careful, it’s…”

 She trailed off, wincing as Melissa stuck the spoon into the pot, and scooped the porridge directly into her mouth.

Melissa swallowed the porridge. It tasted bland, most likely needing salt that Lonna couldn’t provide. Still, it was well cooked, and Melissa could tell that it would be a filling meal. 

“Don’t worry,” she said, reaching to grab another spoonful, “I can handle hot food. My mouth is like a…” 

She swallowed another bite. “Are there dragons here?” Melissa asked.

“Yes. And everyone hates them," Lonna warned, leaning forward, lowering her voice. “Don’t ever compare yourself to one, in any way, if you don’t want to be treated like a monster.”

“What? What’s so horrid about dragons? I always thought they were so cool! They’re strong, and powerful, and they look gorgeous!”

“Stop. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Everyone says - everyone knows…" Lonna’s cheeks flushed red, as she glowered at Melissa. "There’s nothing across Auroras half as bad as a rampaging Dragon.”

“Auroras?” Melissa asked.

“The continent? Largest land mass in all Mistina?”

Melissa stared at her, silent for a moment, collecting her thoughts. If Auroras was the continent, and Mistina the name of the world... a world with a ringed moon…
“I’m not just in another world, I’m on a whole different planet,” she declared, mostly to herself. 

Then she had another spoonful of corn porridge. This time she bit into a little salt pork, adding an explosion of much needed salt and flavor. 

“You seem surprisingly calm about it,” Lonna remarked, pulling out another stool by her side of the table. Melissa offered Lonna the spoon, but Lonna simply waved the offer off. “Thanks, but a couple eggs will be fine for me. Light provides me with most of the energy I need."

Melissa nodded. She wasn’t convinced light could provide proper nutrients, but Lonna probably knew best. 

“I am worried about it, by the way." Melissa’s tone was dry.  "I’m freaking out. About everything. I'm on another planet, where magic is real, and everything is strange and terrifying and out of my control." 

Melissa shrugged, helplessly. She wanted to express how scary it was to be living in a house whose last owner had exploded. How exciting, but equally worrying it was to be in a world where magic was possible.

"But if I let myself dwell on that," she said, instead, "I’ll just start screaming and screaming and never stop, too terrified to move a muscle, and that seems, uh.  Bad?  For my chances?" Melissa smiled, faintly, like she was telling a joke instead of expressing how deep in the shit she felt she was. "So right now, I’m just going to eat, and take things one step at a time." 

“So. Lonna. Could you tell me why dragons are so bad?”

Lonna didn’t meet Melissa’s eyes, instead looking into a dark corner. Melissa was struck by the image of Lonna growing the 'Freemen's Steak' mushrooms in that dank and lightless corner of the house, and smiled. 

Lonna sighed. “...Because they used to rule the world.” 

Melissa's smile evaporated like an ice cube hit with a dragon's breath.

“So. Uh. Dragons. Ruled the world?" Mellissa said, frowning faintly. "And they did a bad job at it?”

“I’d say they did a pretty good job of enslaving everyone," Lonna replied. "They were merciless, and damn-near invincible. All the races had to band together to defeat them, back during the Burning. Thanks to that, the dragons had their powers stripped and they were enslaved in turn." 

“The dragon’s royal family was particularly hardy, and couldn’t be killed no matter how many people tried. They were bound, instead, imprisoned under their own palace. They lived the rest of their lives in a gilded cage, surrounded by hedonistic luxury."

Lonna looked up at Melissa, eyes ablaze. "Until their daughter killed them.”

“...Sorissa?” Melissa guessed.

“Close. Sorissa’s wife, Arasitelle. The only dragon in existence who didn’t take part in the oppression, because she hadn't even been born yet. The other races still bound her, though, even as a baby." 

Lonna chuckled, without much humor to it. "Worked great, until Sorissa broke her out of the palace, undid her bindings, killed the royal family and the ruling council - Look."Lonna narrowed her gaze. "Do you really want a history lesson?”

“Uh.  Yes?” Melissa nodded. “I love history, or I wouldn't have majored in it. And I think I have a right to know about the person you want me to ki- dethrone,” she corrected at the last second.

Lonna frowned, golden eyes meeting Melissa’s for a moment, before bowing her head. “ Like I said, Sorissa freed Arasitelle of her bindings, then killed the royal family - something people had been trying to do for centuries. Sorissa then had Arasitelle legally annex this queendom of Resparan, from her throne, at the center of Auroras. Then she handed over the rest of the country to her army for loot and pillage and let things go to shit from there - these days, the only way you can tell the knights from the outlaws is by what's on their shields.”

Melissa nodded, taking a moment to absorb this information with a deepening scowl.  Unfortunately, this tracked with her lessons about the Anarchy in England. 

“And the mountain we’re supposed to climb? Is it in the gang lands, or…?”

“Everywhere on our itinerary is firmly in Sorissa’s control. It's not great, I admit, but I won’t have to sneak you over any borders, at least.”

Melissa nodded, eating a bit more of the porridge. Now that she knew to mix the porridge with the pork, whenever possible, she was finding it much tastier. Hunger had a way of adding its own spice, anyway. “So, why this mountain?”

“Mount Drogone is where we find the Lunargent Scale. A magical suit of armor that covers its wearer from head to toe. It’s capable of fitting any life form, and will protect its wearer from all harm. ...Well, maybe not against legendary class weapons, like the Quecaw, but anything short of that! It was armor used by the Dragons - most of it was destroyed, and the singular scale that remains is within that mountain.”

“Alright, let me see if I understand the plan.” Melissa replied. “The goal is to get me that suit of armor, so that I'm not instantly vaporized when Sorissa the Sorceress breathes on me.  Which means magic bounces off of the Scale, right?”

“Sorissa the… source-eress? I’m not sure what that is. And she's not a dragon, or a… whatever that is? She’s a dryad." 

Lonna grinned, the brightest smile Melissa had seen on the other woman’s face as of yet. "You’re getting it, though, yeah! The scale should totally protect you against her. We just need to combine that with the power of the Quecaw, and you’ll be able to defeat Sorissa!”

“Wait. A dryad? Like, a tree person? And the Que-what now? That’s the second time you’ve mentioned it.” It was Melissa’s turn to look confused, the porridge spoon stopped halfway to her mouth.

“A cutting from her tree, actually, but yes. And I’m talking about the quecaw! The fabled weapon located at the heart of the Forest of Night - which draws the Breath out of whoever dares wield it. Half the reason we need the armor is just so you can grip that thing without asphyxiating.”

Melissa's appetite suddenly vanished. “Good to know,” she forced out, before making herself  take the last spoonful of the leftover porridge. She scraped up what was left of the salted pork, and took what turned out to be her best bite of food yet.

Too bad it was like ash in her mouth.

“You should have the eggs,” Melissa said, pushing the plate toward Lonna. On it, six small, vividly golden yolks were quivering atop a field of white. 

Lonna frowned, though.  “I’ll eat mine, if you eat yours. Eggs are part of a healthy diet.”

“Thanks, but I’m mostly out of appetite.” Melissa poked one of the eggs with her spoon. “What sort of eggs are they, anyway?”

“Pidgeon,” Lonna replied, taking the spoon from Melissa, and scooping one of the eggs into her mouth with the yolk still intact. 

Lonna’s eyes closed as she chewed, and she hummed in delight at the taste of the food. Whether she needed to eat for energy, or not, it was clear that Lonna enjoyed it. Melissa promised herself that she’d try to leave more food for Lonna, in the future.

Melissa waited until Lonna had popped another egg into her mouth before asking, “When do we leave?”

Lonna regarded Melissa through narrowed eyes, before popping a third yolk into her mouth, chewing, and swallowing. “I assume that means you’re in?” She held out the spoon, as she spoke.

“Do I have a choice?” Melissa asked, rhetorically, taking the spoon and trying to scoop up an egg with it. It was harder than Lonna made it look, and she broke the first yolk when it fell off with a soft “plop.”

“If I want to get home, I need to dethrone your evil queen, and you’re the only one with a plan on how to do that. Right? Besides…" 

Melissa scooped up the broken egg and stuffed it in her mouth. It was creamy, and delicious. She regretted not having started with it.

“Besides?” Lonna asked, impatient.

"Besides…” Melissa smiled faintly. “If I stay, maybe I’ll hear more of your happy humming.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lonna demanded, voice slightly sour. “I’ll have you know I’m only interested in women. I couldn’t care less how gorgeously muscled your body is, if the one inside it is a man.”

“...Noted.” It wasn’t a surprise, hearing that Lonna wasn’t interested. Melissa had already decided not to hit on the girl, anyway, since she was Melissa’s only line on a way to survive.

It still stung to hear out loud, though. Even if she understood: she wasn’t really a woman, after all.

“I just meant…” Melissa gave a wry smile, trying to push her feelings aside. “...There’s been nothing but misery, poverty, and chaos since I got here. So when I heard something happy… it was nice. I want more of that - we need more of that. That’s all.”

Lonna frowned, looking him over for a long minute, before shaking her head. “You’re strange. Following me against Sorissa because you like my humming? But if that’s what gets you to come with me, then fine. I’ll hum you the ballad of Sorissa’s defeat.”

Melissa grinned, then rapidly scooped up the next two eggs, actually managing to get them both into her mouth, whole. Her appetite had just returned, and the creaminess of the egg yolks as they broke in her mouth was a delight.

“I don’t suppose you have any more of those mushrooms?” she asked.

Suddenly the front door swung inward. Talith side-stepped into the kitchen and slammed a piece of vellum down on the table. 

On it was an illustrated picture of a woman. The woman had soft, round cheeks, long flowing hair, a cute little nose, and surprisingly soft looking lips. Melissa didn’t know who the drawing was of, but the artist clearly had talent to capture her looks.

There was writing at the bottom of the picture, for some reason. She couldn’t guess as to what the characters meant, but she was pretty sure it was the local language.

“It says that this is a picture of the seditious, self-described Heroine,” Lonna replied. “Reward, five hundred crowns for your capture, alive. Fifty for information leading to your arrest." 

"These have been springing up like mushrooms in the corner across the entire town," Talith snarled.

"Then we need to get out of here.” Lonna was already moving to the door, with Talith falling in behind. 

Melissa moved to follow, but Talith held out a shield-sized hand to stop her. “Hold it. First thing first, before we officially say we’re all allied and go to take on the queen or whatever… I need to hear it for myself.

Talith splayed his stony fingers and recited: “Through thick or thin, through rain or shine, through life or death, and may the Majesty Trees impale you with their roots should you lie - are you with us?” 

Talith had no nose, and his mouth was little more than an opening in the clay, but he was still pulling off a dubious expression, as if he didn’t really trust what Melissa had to say.

Melissa thought he could shove it up his - well, she wasn't sure the Lapsi had one, but still.

“I already told Lonna,” Melissa responded, walking around Talith so that she could file out the door after Lonna. “But yeah.  May God strike me down where I stand, God forbid, I’m in it for the long haul. Besides, it's not like I have a choice with that poster everywhere." 

Talith paused, then nodded.

Melissa grinned. "Then let’s haul ass before they catch us!” she said - and with that, she was out the door. 


Chapter 6


Melissa lifted an arm to her eyes, shielding herself from the sun as she moved through the door. In front of her, Lonna was already walking briskly down the street, with her head ducked and her eyes focused permanently in front of her. The walk seemed to scream “don’t get in my way.”

Melissa had questions, so she hurried to catch up, leaving Talith to lock up.

“Hey!” Melissa called out. “What’s the plan?”

“The plan is to get past the gate.” Lonna didn’t look back, but did raise her voice. “We’re going to clear up our misunderstanding with the guards.”

“You don’t need to speak that loudly?” Melissa replied, a little confused. “And what misunderstanding? Isn’t everything on the poster true?”

“The poster says that you’re a false heroine - you’re the true heroine. Which everyone will know soon enough!” Lonna shouted this last for everyone to hear.

Not that there was anyone in the streets around them, actually. For some reason, despite it being morning, the city around them seemed all but deserted.

“Uh... great plan!” Melissa started, “But maybe we can try a different one? Like a disguise! If I had your cloak, I’d be a lot less likely to be seen in -”

“- my cloak stays on me,” Lonna growled, with enough ferocity that Melissa stumbled back a step.  Talith caught her in his warm, soft clay arms, and then released her. 

“Careful there,” the Laspi warned. “That cloak was a gift from our mother.”

“Your mother?” Melissa looked between Lonna's diminutive green-cloaked figure and Talith's gigantic clay form, mentally running through everything that they’d ever said about each other. “You’re… siblings?”

“Adopted. Both of us.” Talith shrugged, before pulling his slit mouth into a smile. “The cloak isn’t magic, or made of special thread, or anything like that, if you’re wondering. It’s just a normal cloak. But our ma made it with love, and patched it every time it tore. I’ve rarely seen Lonna without it.”

Lonna can hear you,” Lonna called, back, fists on her hips and a scowl on her lips. “Look. It’s just a cloak. Stop trying to make it seem important, and focus on the townsfolk who want to murder us and kidnap Melissa for the Queen's coin!”

Melissa paled, her legs suddenly like jelly. Despite that, she took a step away from Talith, and toward Lonna. 

 “That's why you're yelling?” Melissa asked, incredulous. “To warn them off?”

“For all the good it’ll do,” Lonna agreed, her golden eyes pivoting about. 

Then Lonna raised her hand.  “-Three, approaching.”

“So it can count!” The voice came from an alleyway to the right.  It disgorged three people, none of them human.

The woman speaking was like a giant grey cat with a white muzzle, standing on two digitigrade legs. If she got on four legs, she would have seemed like just an oversized house pet; as she stood, though, she was nearly as tall as Melissa.

Next to the felinoid was a man with pale skin, golden eyes, and the lower body of a large green snake. He was long enough that he could have likely curled around Lonna three times before running out of tail. 

Taking up the rear was a woman who looked, to Melissa, like an angel: a human torso and legs, blonde hair, a vapid smile on her face. She had swans wings stretching behind her back, twitching occasionally as if she were trying to fly. Despite that, her feet never left the ground.

“A feline Sapphi, a lamia, and a harpy.” Lonna listed them all off, in order, for Melissa’s sake. “What brings you three together?”

“Funny you should mention our roots, actually…” The cat laughed, and held a paw up to her mouth, just a moment too late to hide her disconcertingly fanged grin. “You see, we have a little bet going. About what you are.”

“Just tell us,” added the lamia, “and we’ll be glad to let you and your little heroine friend go on your way.”

“Uh-huh!” the harpy chirped next. “I think you’re a Chimera, by the way.”

“Nobody cares what you think, Harmony,” the Sapphi snapped, before turning with that predator's grin to Lonna. “I mean, I personally think you’re just a magic experiment gone wrong. That’s the real reason you’re always cloaked.” 

She stepped forward, reaching for the green fabric. “Come on. You can tell me. I’ll win two Crowns!”

Lonna moved to slap the hand away from herself, but Talith stepped forward before she could. Moving with shocking speed he pinched the Sapphi’s wrist between his three thick fingers and lifted her into the air, causing her to cry out in pain. He swung her by the wrist and threw her into her two friends, knocking all three of them down.

“Nobody talks that way about my sister.” Talith’s voice rumbled with anger, and the three figures trembled as they found their footing again.

“T-This isn’t over,” the Sapphi warned, holding her limp wrist, and wincing in pain. “I-If you dare step foot in Ife again, we’ll be there! I promise you that!”

Talith only scowled in response.  Harmony practically squeaked.

“Come on,” Lonna muttered, starting to skirt around her, now trembling, one time opponents. “These idiots aren’t worth wasting Breath on.”

Melissa stared, as Talith turned to follow Lonna past the group. She only hesitated for a second, though, before running to follow them both.

With this group, she thought, they just might make it through the gate.


***


Lonna was, to understate things, in a bad mood. The dawn was scant hours ago, but already the heroine had been made renegade, the city had turned against her, and three idiots decided to test her patience.

Word of the stooges fate must have taken wing, though, or else no one else in the city was the same flavor of foolish enough to face a magi, a laspi, and a mighty-seeming heroine all at the same time.

It didn't much matter. Lonna and company had made it to the gates with due haste. That should have put her in a good mood.

It didn’t.

Because standing in front of the gates were the two faces she wanted to see least: Maxwell and Eddison, the night guardsmen. 

“Isn’t it a bit early for you two?” Lonna asked, staring them down.

The two pummeled their shiny new breastplates with freshly gauntleted fists. Both parts of their new kit of wisely-forged iron. They even had new helms, though they hadn't closed their visors.

This was clearly Lonna's invitation to punch them right in their smug faces.

“Still want to set us on fire?” asked Edison.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Lonna replied, voice dry. “I mean. Think of all the extra funds it must have taken for them to get armor sized for a sprite.”

“Cut the horseshit,” snarled Maxwell. “We both know Magi are defenseless against iron! Your magic won’t work on us, like this.”

“Will it stop me from knocking your heads together like the rocks they're full of?” Talith asked, striding toward them. 

Lonna held out a hand to stop him. “You go work the winch for the gate," she ordered. "I’m in just a bad enough mood to deal with these two myself.”

“Are you sure?” Talith asked, voice dropping low. His eyes darted to Melissa, just now coming to a stop behind them, and still looking over the scene. “Your heroine doesn’t seem to like violence. It might be better to put it all on me.”

“She’ll see how I fight eventually, anyway,” Lonna muttered, glad that her dark cheeks wouldn’t show much red. “Just take care of the gate.”

Talith shrugged, and moved toward the wheel that would lift the iron gate. The soldiers in turn pointed their spears at him, preparing to attack the Laspi, but he paid them no mind as he began to turn the wheel.

“Melissa?” Lonna called. “Go on ahead.”

“Are you sure? They look like they’re about to stab Talith…”

“He can take it,” Lonna promised. “Body of clay - Lapsi are hard to kill. Just get through the gate.”

Now Edison had spun toward Melissa. His lack of experience was obvious; he clearly didn’t know which target to prioritize. 

Maxwell really was going toward Talith, though. At least until Lonna exhaled a plume of fire toward his back - heating the armor, and causing smoke to rise, likely from the padded gambeson sparking. If she kept up the fire too long, he’d burst into flames… 

But Lonna wasn’t cruel enough to do that, tempting as the thought was.
She only needed him to turn around.

The second Maxwell turned toward Lonna, Talith spun the wheel rapidly, moving the gate up far enough that all of them could duck under it. Then the Lapsi bent the wheel in on itself, securing it as they moved toward the gate.

“Come on!” Lonna urged, running toward the gate at full speed. She waited until Talith and Melissa were under, both of them ducking almost in half to get under it, before lowering her head to pass through herself. 

Then she blew a kiss toward the rope that burned neatly through it. 

A moment after she got through the gate crashed closed and Lonna grinned, showing her fangs. “That should buy us a few minutes. Now come, the stables are this way…”

Without hesitation, Lonna made her way toward the stables used by the gate guards. A young man stood guard in front of them - maybe fifteen at the oldest, with only the spear, maille, pauldrons, and brown cloth pants that were a guards' usual kit. Lonna gave him only a cursory glance before delivering her ultimatum.

“Be elsewhere. Go back to your family, if you’ve got one.”

The man hesitated, gripping his spear. Lonna could tell from the twitch in his eyes clear as windows that he didn’t want to hurt her.

She could also see Talith narrowing his eye sockets, though. He was half a second away from pulling back and fist and sending the boy to a medic.

Lonna grabbed hold of the spear shaft and muttered a spell under her Breath that ignited the dry wood.  The weapon splintered in two.

The boy squeaked in surprise and broke, running. Lonna, for her part, threw the blunt half of the splintered spear-shaft to Melissa. 

“Hold onto this,” she ordered. “It might come handy in a fight.”

“R-Right…” For some reason, Melissa looked pale and frightened; she really didn’t have a stomach for violence, it seemed like. 

If she was really the heroine she'd learn while keeping that gentleness. The road they were walking was going to be soaked in blood before it was done.

“I’ll saddle up two horses,” Lonna told the group, for now. “Talith, you set the others free, and look for a riding drake. Melissa… Please tell me you can ride?”

“My class trip went on a field trip to ride some horses in middle school?”

“I didn’t understand half those words, but good enough!” Lonna grinned. “Doing better than I expected at this point,” she said, sincerely.

Talith was already bringing out the horses. Most of them would be sent to roam the countryside, while Lonna and Melissa would take one each. For Talith, however, they’d need something bigger.

“Did they not have drakes in the stable?” Lonna asked, uncertain how to proceed. Talith could move fairly fast, but without a mount...

“It’s in the back,” Talith responded, stilling Lonna’s fears. “I’ll get it next.”

“Good. Be quick. Melissa - while he’s doing that, I need you to gather up all the equipment you can find. Riding crops, saddles, bridles, everything.”

Melissa, clearly confused but eager for something to do, began to prepare.

Lonna nodded in approval. “Once we get our own rides secured? We’ll burn the rest of their gear. That, plus the missing horses, will buy us some time without riders on our trail.”

Melissa nodded, throwing a saddle and some bridles on the ground before going back inside for more.

This time, however, she stopped, and took a hasty step back into the light. It didn’t take much to see why: Talith was walking one of the riding drakes out.

It was a huge beast, about a dozen feet long and half that across. It had thick muscles, covered by hard green scales. It’s feet had vicious black talons. Even its snout was covered in small spines.

Children were known to cry when they first saw a drake - but the beasts were quite gentle, and bred for size and strength only so that they could carry Laspi without effort or complaint.

“Don’t worry,” Lonna said, heart soaring. “With this girl on our side, and the guard’s gear burnt, there’s no way they can stop us. Mount Drogone - yon we go!”


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Uhuru N'Uru's picture

This post is appearing after Chapter 1, instead of Chapter 4 on the Book page.
Hatching a Heroine
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Dark Elven Sissy Slut – Uhuru N’Uru

I fixed it

erin's picture

I fixed it by correcting the title which had inconsistent capitalization from other chapters. In ascii, C comes before c, so the capitalization matters.

Fixing it by drag and drop can have sideeffects.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Love it so far

Podracer's picture

It seems their heroine isn't quite the heroine of the piece yet, let's hope it takes a while to get up that mountain or she won't be ready for her task.

"Reach for the sun."

Gee... maybe her title 'The Heroine' shouldve tipped me off

laika's picture

As they start out on their quest for the Heroine's special armor it occurs to me that this is ticking all the boxes to qualify as a classic heroic fantasy (Yes it's taken me 6 chapters to figure that out- no one's ever accused me of being very bright). Traditional epic fantasy is probably my least favorite subgenre of fantasy because---like classic hardboiled detective fiction---to hold my interest it has to be done well and bring something new to what's been reheated and served up so many times like week-old Joseph Campbell's tomato + archetype soup...

And this world you've created is unique enough in both its fantastic and prosaic details that it continues to delight me at every turn. Also the characters of Lonna and Talith are well rendered, likeable and fun, and I thank whatever gods watch over their planet that they talk like normal people- not Renaissance Faire dorks doing what they imagine King Arthur sounded like. The minor characters (human and otherwise) are all fun too, managing to be both menacing + a bit farcical; And your reluctant warrior of a narrator's inner struggles make her sympathetic and believable, plus she spins a good yarn so I'm in for the duration here, my genre prejudices be damned!
~hugs, Veronica

Hatching a heroin

Enjoying the story so far. Lonna is great is this her brother. I hope the heroin can come up to speed. Thanks for sharing the story.

Willow