The Joiners pt 15.

by
Angharad

---

Carrie woke up feeling different, yet she wasn't sure quite what it was that felt different. Everything was still the same, Tara would be going off to school shortly and she would be having her breakfast, helping her mum and doing any schoolwork the school sent her.

She wasn't sure what she thought about school, she'd have to go because it was the law, and perhaps as a girl, she might find it a better experience than she did as a boy, though having an older sister, she was well versed in the dark side of females as well. Tara on a bad day could be every bit as bad as a boy. She knew they could be just as cruel, especially with their tongues, but she hoped she'd meet some nice ones as well.

Rob had gone off to work before either of the girls were up, he was busy, which was good as it brought in the money, but he'd like to have more time to be with Carrie to try and understand how she felt and what he could do to help her ease her way into being a full-time girl. He appreciated that biologically she was female as her sister, but Tara had the advantage of having lived it since she was born. While Carrie seemed just as female as her sister and he couldn't tell she wasn't as natural as Tara, other girls might, and if that was in school, life would be difficult. Even in the new school, as the headmistress had said, some may recognise her from her previous identity, though the school would do all it could to protect her. It was what happened in life and she just had to cope with it as best she could.

Then there'd be all surgery she'd need and goodness knows how many tests and how long that would go one, plus would they have to remove her internal sex organs because they could turn nasty, or would they respond to hormone therapy and develop as a normal female? Huge questions about which he had no answers, but he'd do all he could to help and hoped that his insurance would pay for many of them, he'd need to check, it was on his list, plus he had several meetings with clients and that was going to be hard work, one, in particular, kept changing his mind, or claimed his wife did. Rob almost asked him it might be easier to change his wife than the plans he'd commissioned.

Carrie dragged herself out of bed and via the bathroom downstairs, she was in her nightdress and dressing gown. She sat at the table and Penny asked her if she was all right. She shrugged but accepted a slice of toast which she buttered and slathered on honey on top of it. She drank some tea and hugged Tara goodbye as she left for school.

"Right, what's the problem then?" asked Penny sitting opposite her at the table. Carrie shrugged. "Come on, kiddo, I can read you like a book, there is something bothering you, isn't there?"

"Yeah, I just found out my body is female but don't know if the bits inside will ever work or whether they will have to be removed, plus I don't know what will happen when I go to school and whether it will get out that I'm different and what will happen if it does. And none of this is of my doing, that's what's so unfair, none of it is my flipping fault. It's just not fair." The tears started to flow and she went and sat on Penny's lap. Yesterday she was euphoric, today reality had shown itself and she was distraught. Penny had news for her, as a teenager, she'd experience plenty more highs and lows before she got much older. It was almost a rite of passage, especially for girls. Perhaps it's right that girls suffer more mental health problems than boys, who suffered more with physical injuries and ailments.

A little later, Carrie recovered her composure and after kissing her mother on the cheek, rose and went upstairs to shower and dress after which she styled her hair and put on her makeup and sat at her keyboard and began to play more of her Carpenter's repertoire. this time, Goodbye to love Penny looked in without being seen, Carrie seemed to have worked off her sadness, possibly into the lyrics of the song which perhaps summed up Karen Carpenter's life as well, as she had problems with relationships.

At least they had another school sorted, even if they had to wait for a few weeks to go there. They'd have to get a new school uniform as it was different from the previous school and obviously, Cary had worn the boy's version, now Carrie would be wearing a girl's one and from the information pack that they'd been given, it involved skirts, dresses, blazers, cardigans or pullovers, plus gym kit. It was quite different to the uniform that Tara wore, hers was black skirt and blazer, or cardigan this one was a grey plaid, with a grey blazer or cardi and white blouses. They had no neckties for the girls, the blouses were just worn open at the neck.

Penny wondered why so many schools forced the girls to wear ties, it seemed silly beyond belief, but they did. Very few things in adult life required women to wear ties, except some uniforms and even there, because they were potentiallly dangerous, that was declining. Yet every day, Tara went off to school wearing a tie the same as Cary had worn. It was a total anachronism.

After Penny had put another meal to cook in the slow cooker, a sausage casserole, which they all loved, she and Carrie went off to town and began acquiring a new school uniform. Carrie normally enjoyed shopping for clothes, but this time it just reminded her of the great unknown the new school would be and she was very apprehensive. Knowing how spiteful, Tara could be on a bad day, reminded her that although she had survived as Cary mixing with both boys and girls, doing so on her own, with no big sister back-up, could be extra dangerous and this time she had something to hide. Previously, Cary had just tried to hide and mostly succeeded, whereas, there was always the danger of the little anomaly, slipping out - not literally, because Carrie wore tight panties to make sure it stayed put, but skirts did provide a bigger risk than trousers, but they were encouraged to wear skirts until year eleven. Carrie would be going in at year ten, the final year of middle school, then it was off to senior school and GCSEs and A-levels, and old people kept telling them, 'your school days are the best days of your life.' Yeah, right.

"I said, how does that feel?" Penny disturbed her brown study, asking about the fit of a blazer. Carrie was already wearing a skirt and blouse, with a camisole under it.

"It's okay, I suppose," shrugged Carrie.

They bought the whole lot, then went off after shoes, tights and socks. They got home just before Tara and both were enjoying a refreshing cuppa when she arrived and accused them of being two slackers compared to her hard working student act.

"I'll have you know we have just returned from getting Carrie her new school uniform and we're both exhausted," claimed Penny and Carrie nodded.

"What shopping isn't tiring, unless it's for cabbages and baked beans."

"You know jolly well that shopping for school uniforms is very hard work, it's not like ordinary clothes shopping," asserted her mother, "you don't like it much either if I remember from several experiences of the whinging you do during it."

Carrie smirked as Tara blushed and tried to suggest that old people had defective memories while she went off to change out of her uniform and then get a cuppa and biscuit.

While she was absent the phone rang and Mrs James the headmistress of the new school phoned to say, Carrie could start next Monday, as they'd managed to wangle it by moving a few things about in the timetable. She also said the music teacher was looking forward to meeting her new songbird. When Penny related this to Carrie, she went very pale and nearly fell over.

"But they said not until next term," complained Carrie, "I'm not ready."

"You have your new uniform, a bag for your books and plenty of pens and pencils, what's to get ready?" said Penny, thinking to herself, better get another blouse to add to the three they'd bought, just in case.

"I'm not mentally ready."

"Well you have the weekend to get used to the idea, so you'd better get ready, hadn't you?"

"You don't understand, none of you do," said Carrie getting ready to flounce off to her room.

"So make me understand that this isn't just the whining of some little girl, not the young woman who won that karaoke competition despite being up against much older competitors."

"I've never had to spend all day as a girl in a large group of strangers without Tara being there or you or Daddy. I'm terrified." Carrie started to cry and Penny wasn't sure whether to cuddle her or show her some tough love. In the end she compromised and went ans spoke with her.

"I know it's going to be a bit new but you have to grasp this nettle sooner or later, so at least if you go for a few weeks, you'll have a couple of weeks off for Christmas to recover and I'm sure, a nice girl like you will make lots of friends in a short time. I have confidence in you to do it, because you're bright, brave and beautiful." They both ended up laughing at this final statement.

"What's so funny?" asked Tara reappearing in her house clothes, jeans and sweater.

"Carrie's a bit worried about starting her new school."

"Why? She's got until January to think about it." The expression that accompanied the question almost said unlike some of us who have to go every day now.

"They just phoned to say for her to start on Monday," Penny informed her older daughter.

"Oh, never mind, sis, you'll be all right, they'll want you to sing for them so they'll look after you. So don't worry."

"That's all right for you to say, Tar, you've been in your school forever."

"Oh thanks, I'll remember to apply for my pension next week," she teased.

"You know what I meant. I've only been shown around the place a bit, I don't know anyone there do I?"

"Yeah, but isn't that what you want. If you want to know everyone why not come back to our school, you can have one of my old uniforms."

"What, and get beaten up every day for the rest of my life."

"You can't have it both ways, what's for tea, Mum? It smells gorgeous."

"Sausage casserole, why?"

"Oh brill, with baked potatoes, like you usually do?"

"Yes, of course."

"See, baby girl," she teased her sister, "life is good, so just enjoy it."

"Have you any homework?" asked Penny.

"Yeah, just gonna start it, haven't you got any, droopy drawers?"

"She has, actually, I just printed it off while I was in the study. You've got some history and chemistry to do, Carrie."

"At least it'll take your mind off Monday, won't it?" said Tara breezily making Carrie want to scream. Instead, she accepted the paper that her mother offered her and started to look through it.

By the time Rob was back and dinner would be served, Carrie had done half her homework, she had to read a chapter of the history textbook and answer some questions about the Byzantine empire. She done the chemistry, which was about balancing equations and she found it very simple.

They were called to dinner and ate in the kitchen, Penny told Rob that Carrie had been told to attend school from the Monday. "I thought they weren't going to accept her until next term?"

"Well, the headmistress called earlier and told me she could start next week," said Penny.

"Good idea, get it over with and get back into going to school. By end of term you'll probably have half a dozen new friends and the same number of boys wanting to ask you out."

"You said I was too young to date boys," Carrie threw back at him.

"Did I? Maybe I did, but that was last week, you're so much more experienced now," he joked and Tara nearly choked on a dumpling.

"I don't even know if I like boys," said Carrie in an offhand manner.

"Send them to your sister, she'll try them out for you," Joked Rob and this time Tara did choke, but on a piece of carrot. Carrie thought it was almost worth the teasing for that outcome, better than she could have done - nice one, Daddy.

"That was mean, Rob," gently chided Penny passing Tara some water while a red-eyed Tara regarded him balefully. She soon forgave him when he produced some tickets for a film at the local cinema that she had mentioned she wanted to see.

"Not sure what you see in him," declared Rob about the film's leading man.

"Oh he's just gorgeous, isn't he, Carrie?" replied Tara.

"Hadn't really noticed," responded the younger sibling, "I suppose he is quite good looking."

Penny collected up the plates and added her threepenn'orth, stating that she thought he was nearly as good looking as Rob, who was almost purring at her acclaim, which set the theme for the parent's bedtime, left Tara able to dream about her favourite male film star and Carrie wondering what she felt about boys and men, some of them were good looking but did she want to get physical with them? She found as she thought about it she had a funny feeling in her tummy? It wasn't unpleasant, just novel and she wondered if something was happening inside her, if it was she hoped her girly bits were growing as she asked them to do when she rubbed her tummy each night and instructed them to.