Synopsis:

How will Charlotte's life progress now she is settling down? This is part 13 of 14.

Story:

A Different Plane of Existence

By Karen Page

Part Thirteen

"I'm sorry Mrs Wilson but I can't locate where Simon is," apologised Brenda, from Social Services.

"Oh?"

"I can see that he is on the system, so I know that he is in Social Services care, but I can't access the details. For some reasons it has been secured."

"Why would they do that?"

"I'm not sure why they have done it in Simon's case. I shouldn't really tell you this but it usually happens when there are special details where his identity needs to be protected. That will happen if there was press interest or that a court had ordered his case sealed."

"Thank you for trying," thanked Mrs Wilson and terminated the call.

"I wonder what happened to poor Simon," mused Mrs Wilson to herself. "Poor Kirsty is going to be devastated. Perhaps a different avenue is needed."

With that last thought she picked up the phone and began to make some more enquiries.

* * *

During one of the breaks between lessons, Charlotte felt a similar cramp that she'd felt nearly a month ago. "Oh crap," thought Charlotte to herself. "It's a good job I was prepared."

"I'll be back in a few minutes," Charlotte said to Kirsty.

"Are you okay?" she asked back. "You've gone white."

"I think I'm just starting," whispered Charlotte trying to sound natural.

"Ah," replied Kirsty. "I'll see you shortly then."

Charlotte was glad that Kirsty hadn't decided to follow as she was still relatively new at this and didn't want to appear naive. When she got into the stall she discovered she was indeed just starting and was glad she'd put in a panty liner just in case.

When Charlotte next saw Kirsty she noticed that again Kirsty was giving her strange glances. "What's up?" Charlotte eventually asked.

"Oh nothing," sighed Kirsty. "I had a silly thought about you last week and I just remembered."

"Oh?"

"It's nothing, just me being silly. Forget I mentioned it."

* * *

"Are you okay Kirsty?" asked her Mum when Kirsty walked through the front door.

"I'm fine."

"No you aren't. Come into the lounge and tell me about it."

"Yes mother," Kirsty sighed following her mum into the lounge.

"So?"

"It's silly. Charlotte is so similar to how Simon was that I began to think they were the same person. Charlotte started her period today so I now know that can't be true."

"I must admit she did seem similar. You must be so disappointed. Why didn't you tell me your thoughts?"

"Because they were just silly ones. I wished I had Simon back and I felt guilty."

"Guilty?"

"It's nothing," Kirsty lied, wishing she hadn't said anything.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Let me see if I can guess why you felt guilty. Is it because you found yourself fancying Charlotte and if they were the same person you thought that would be okay? Now Charlotte is having her period, you now know that Simon and Charlotte isn't the same person, so you feel that you have betrayed Simon?"

"How did you know?" Kirsty asked, her mouth dropping open.

"Mothers know everything."

"Yeah right," Kirsty giggled.

"Oh okay, I was your age once. I know it is surprising but I do remember what it is like to be fifteen and in love."

Kirsty sat there for a moment, not saying anything. Her mum just waited knowing there was more. Eventually Kirsty broke her silence, "Is it wrong for me to have feelings for another girl?"

"Oh, here it comes," thought Mrs Wilson. "Just the conversation I was dreading. Oh well, I suppose I just have to be as honest as I can be."

"Have you ever had feelings for any other girl?"

"No, I haven't and I was surprised when I discovered I had them for Charlotte."

"I suppose that if you felt that Charlotte was a lot like Simon then it is only natural you had similar feelings for both of them."

"But is it wrong?"

"Wrong in what respect? Wrong that you cheat on Simon or wrong that it's a girl?"

"I know it's wrong cheating Simon. Is it wrong that I'm in love with a girl?"

"In love? Not just feelings? Oh boy," Mrs Wilson thought.

"It depends who you ask. If you have feelings for Charlotte then you might be bisexual. I don't have a problem with that but some people in society might. Society seems to have more issues with two boys in a relationship than two girls. However, when you are older and finally commit to a person in a relationship then you commit to that person. Even though you might have the ability to love both boys and girls, it is still cheating if you stray."

"Oh, it sounds rather complex."

"It certainly adds extra complexity but you have to be true to yourself. Since the day you met Charlotte I've known you were attracted to her. As I said, I don't have an issue and neither does your Dad. Just be careful as some people will have issues and they might cause you trouble. One last thing for you to think about is Charlotte. She might not have the same feelings about you. What if you tell her and she is offended?"

"I didn't think of that," Kirsty said getting introspective again.

* * *

"It seems someone wants to foster you till you are eighteen," explained Kelly to Charlotte as the breakfast washing up was put away.

"Oh," said Charlotte sadly. She'd been hoping to stay in the area as she'd lost Kirsty once and now it looked like she would lose her again.

"I thought you would be pleased to have a bit of stability in your future."

"I am but I will miss you. You have been a big help."

"Are you sure that I'm the one you are getting sad about?"

"Okay, I'll really miss Kirsty. I know I've got to move on but we were getting on really well. I suppose it is for the best, at least she won't need to find out. So when do we visit?"

"Later today. Yvonne, from Social Services, will be here at about eleven to take us both."

"Wasn't Yvonne someone from the local Social Services?" Charlotte asked, her hopes starting to rise that she could stay in the area.

"Yes," replied Kelly with a slight smile.

"You know where they are, don't you?"

"Yes, but I can't tell you. That has to come from Yvonne."

"Ahhhh," screamed Charlotte with frustration.

The morning went slowly but soon Yvonne appeared. Yvonne was in her mid-forties with short blond hair. She looked quite strict but had the heart of gold. She was the toughest person when making sure that the foster parents and children were suitable for each other.

"Good to see you again," smiled Yvonne.

"And you," replied Charlotte nervously.

"Hey don't be so nervous," said Yvonne. "In the fifteen years I've been in this job this is one tie-up that seems like a match made in heaven."

"Let me just go to the toilet," Charlotte replied. "I don't want to get caught short during the journey."

Yvonne looked across at Kelly who shook her head slightly. Yvonne nodded in response.

With Charlotte all ready, they all got into Yvonne's car and made there way out of the driveway.

"What will I tell Kirsty," thought Charlotte to herself. 'How will I cope without her? I wonder if I should tell her the truth before I go.'

Yvonne drove her car down the road and into Painswick. Charlotte sat back in the car and shut her eyes to doze during the long journey. The sound of the car indicator made her reopen them. She watched in growing amazement as they drew up outside a familiar house. She had been here several times over the last few weeks.

"Are you having me on?" asked Charlotte, tears of happiness starting to swell in her eyes.

"Would I do that to you?" asked Yvonne indignantly.

"And would I allow that to happen to you?" asked Kelly equally indignantly.

"Does Kirsty know?" asked Charlotte as she undid her seatbelt.

"Her parents wanted it to be a surprise for her," said Yvonne. "All she knows is that a child is coming that her parents are thinking about fostering."

At the door, Yvonne rang the doorbell and Charlotte positioned herself beside her. All three of the Wilson's came to the door.

"Oh hi Charlotte," said Kirsty. "Sorry but we are expecting someone."

"So I've just been told," grinned Charlotte.

"Hi Kirsty," said Yvonne. "My name is Yvonne and I'm from Social Services."

The scream of delight that rang out signalled the fact that Kirsty understood.

"That's enough," said Mr Wilson. "If you keep this up Yvonne won't think we can control children under our care."

They all crowded into the lounge. Mr Wilson had brought a few chairs in from the kitchen and they all settled down to discuss the arrangements. After an hour it was decided that Charlotte would stay the following weekend for a trial. If all went well she would move in permanently shortly afterwards.

* * *

"Hello, is this Mr Wilson?"

"Yes it is. Who are you?"

"I am Judge Richardson. I believe you and your wife have been trying to track down Simon Turner?"

"Yes we have, do you have any information as to his whereabouts?"

"Yes I do, but that information is secured by a court order. I am telephoning you to ask you to stop trying to find him. There are reasons, which I'm not allowed to explain, that stop me giving out any more information."

"Can I just ask, is he okay?"

"Simon has gone through a traumatic experience and is recovering well. He did authorise me to tell you that he will let you know where he is when he has recovered enough and he does now know where you live."

"Thank you for letting me know," said Mr Wilson. "I'm sorry if I've caused you any trouble."

"I know you were searching because you care for the child. Just please don't continue your search as it might harm Simon's recovery. It might be many years before Simon feels he can approach you, if at all. He has gone through so much. He also asked if you could give his love to Kirsty and tell her that she should find someone new as she shouldn't wait for someone that might never appear."

"Can you let him know that we'll be there for him when he is ready? We were like second parents to him and we hate to think of him suffering. We are very open minded people."

"I will try and get word to him," agreed the Judge.

* * *

"Charlotte," called Kelly. "I have Kirsty on the phone." When Charlotte appeared, Kelly said quietly, "She seems very upset. Do you think the Judge spoke to Kirsty's parents?"

"Probably. Okay, I'll speak with her. Would it be possible if I could be alone for this?"

"Of course," said Kelly. "I'll be in my study."

Kelly disappeared and shut the door behind her. She knew that this wasn't going to be easy for Kirsty or Charlotte. It was the right thing to do as Kirsty couldn't keep hoping that Simon would turn up like a knight in shining armour.

"Hi Kirsty," said Charlotte, putting on a brave front. She didn't want to breakdown while talking to Kirsty. Kirsty needed her to be brave and stable. Her crying would not help.

"Oh Charlotte it's awful," sniffled Kirsty. "Simon's gone."

"Gone? You said he had disappeared and your parents were trying to track him down."

"A judge spoke with Dad earlier. He said something about Simon being highly traumatised, whatever that means, and doesn't know when, or if, he will be able to see us again. It then got worse," said Kirsty breaking into huge sobs. "He said I should find someone new."

"Oh Kirsty, that’s awful."

"Oh it's just like him. He is thinking that if something is wrong that I wouldn't want him anymore, that I would stop loving him. He is such a brave boy and probably going through hell and not wanting to get me involved."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because he is always trying to protect me and it sounds like he is still doing it."

"So what do you do now?"

"I've no idea," sobbed Kirsty. "I wish I did. I have known him since I was about seven and now he's gone."

"He isn't dead," reassured Charlotte.

"He might as well be dead. I think this is worse, as I know he is alive somewhere and not wanting me. I wish I was dead."

"He is probably sat somewhere going through hell worrying how you are, not able to reach out and be with you. Most likely he's doing this because he wants you to find happiness and not having to put your own life on hold. You can't live your life with regrets; you need to look to the future. You might never see him again but I'm sure there will be someone out there for you."

"You think so?"

"I do."

"Do you know that I used to think you were so similar to Simon that I thought you were him in disguise?" half laughed, half sobbed Kirsty. "Heck, even your surname is the same. However, your period put an end to that idea."

"Do your parents know you're this upset?"

"Oh yeah, my Mum is waiting for me outside, wanting to smother me in cotton wool."

"Well get her to make a hot chocolate, with lots of cream on top. It helped me during some of my dark hours."

"I've got to go. Mum is reminding me I've got school tomorrow."

"Will you be okay for school?"

"I hope so. I'll tell you more about it before lessons."

"Okay Kirsty and don't forget the hot chocolate."

Charlotte put down the phone and sat staring into space. The little composure she had left rapidly vanished. "What have I done to her? What if she does something silly? How can I live with myself, knowing that I've caused her such hurt? Should I have told her I'm Simon? Would that have made life easier for her?"

There was a knock on the door and Kelly came in carrying a tray with two mugs of hot chocolate. "I thought you might want a chat."

Charlotte didn't even attempt to wipe the tears away as she blurted out, "Oh Kelly, it's awful. She is so upset; she doesn't know what to do with herself. All I could suggest was that she has a hot chocolate."

Kelly gave a little smile at that. "That will help alleviate some symptoms but the best thing to do over a hot chocolate is chat. Would it help her if you were there?"

"I don't think I could. Seeing her would totally destroy me. I know I'm being selfish."

"Not really, if you got upset it would make the situation worse. Let me ring her mother now and tell her to keep an eye on her, though I'm sure she is already."

"Her Mum is already with her and knows how upset she is."

"That’s good, so there really is nothing more you can do for her tonight. Tomorrow her hurt and pain will still be there but it will be less than it is tonight. All you can do is be there for her tomorrow at school."

"Would it have been easier if I'd told her I used to be Simon? She told me tonight on the phone that she suspected that I was Simon till I had my period."

"Did you want to tell her?"

"Part of me did but a bigger part of me didn't. I would've felt like such a freak."

"Why a freak?"

"Because she knew me before the accident. She wouldn't have known how to treat me. I would have had so much sympathy and she might have wanted to stay with me due to that, rather than any actual feelings. I also feel I've lied and it would be like owning up."

"You will be living with them soon; don't you think you should tell them?"

"I can't, I just can't. They will hate me and then I will lose them."

"Would they really turn their back on you?"

"I don't know. I doubt it but it is something I just don't feel I can do. Perhaps one day I'll feel different."

* * *

The next day a tired Charlotte met a shattered Kirsty at the bus stop. "You look awful."

"You don't look much better yourself," retorted Kirsty.

"I probably look better than you feel. How're you coping?"

"I'm surviving. The hot chocolate you suggested was nice to sip as I chatted more with Mum. Dad tried his best to help but he just didn't seem to know how to relate, so Mum sent him to bed."

"So did you come to any conclusions about Simon?"

"Only that I'll try and get on with my life. I'll miss him tremendously and hope that one day to see him again. His life must be very hard for him, having lost his parents, I know as I lost mine. I also know how difficult and lonely it can be under Social Services and how hard it can be to find something long term. I got passed around between different foster parents, a few months here, a few months there; never enough time to settle and make friends. I was about seven when I moved in with Mr and Mrs Wilson so I spent two years moving between ten different families. Just when you are at your lowest, life can seem very bleak and unforgiving. Though I don't think I need to tell you that, you're in foster care."

"I suppose I'm lucky. I knew I was only going to be with Kelly a few months and I manage to get hooked with your parents so quickly. I just hope they want to keep me."

"I'm sure they will. They have never turned their back on any kids."

"I know, I've seen them in action for a long time and I am really lucky," thought Charlotte to herself.

"So with Simon out of the picture, what about you and Harry Walsh?"

"Harry Walsh?"

"Yeah, you know the chap with the large hands. As you said, everything is in proportion."

Kirsty gave a weak smile as she tried to hit Charlotte but Charlotte was too quick and jumped onto the bus that had just arrived.

* * *

A few weeks after her initial foster visit, it was time to move in with the Wilson's on a permanent basis. She had been to stay a few times and had fitted in very easily. Charlotte said a tearful goodbye to Kelly, who said, "Don't worry; you are only down the road. I expect you to come round for meals sometimes."

"It's a deal," agreed Charlotte hugging her ex foster mother. "Thank you for all your help, I don't think I would have survived these few months without you."

"Oh, I'm sure you would have. You are a fighter. You've been dealt a cruel card and you have decided to live the best you can. Many other children would have moaned and tried to commit suicide. You decided to live your life and that has made people more willing to help you. Now, I have put your new documents into your handbag. Your NHS card, National Insurance card and passport are all there. Judge Richardson will keep your birth certificate until it can be changed."

At the Wilson's, Kelly helped Charlotte move her meagre belongings from the car. Mr Wilson insisted that he carry the rather heavy suitcase. "I thought you said you only had a few clothes," he huffed.

"I do," she said. "The rest is the lead weights that Kelly insisted I put in!"

"It feels like it as well. We were planning on putting you into your own bedroom but since you have both been through some emotional upheaval we decided to put you in with Kirsty. If you both decide you need your own space then we shall move you. I'm afraid I'm not as tolerant as Ms Baxter. Please either call me Mr Wilson or Dad."

"Okay. It will probably be Mr Wilson as it's too recent for me to forget my parents."

"You're right, sorry if I offended your memory of them."

Kelly didn't follow as she quickly grabbed Mrs Wilson. "You do remember I told you that Charlotte sometimes has nightmares? Won't that disturb Kirsty if Charlotte has one?"

"Probably," smiled Mrs Wilson. "However, a few years ago we had a short term foster child who had nightmares and we found it greatly comforted the child knowing there was someone else in the room. It reduced the severity of the nightmares and they faded quite quickly."

"Mmmm, interesting idea," mused Kelly. "Will you let me know how Charlotte copes?"

"Of course I will. You're only up the road and I'm sure that Charlotte will want to visit you sometimes."

"I hope so. She is a very special girl and very brave. Not many would have survived what she has been through. Charlotte will take a lot of time to tell you herself."

"Are you able to tell me anything?"

"I'm afraid not as there are legal implications. The only person that can tell you is Charlotte. Just know that she might appear to be a smiley, bubbly girl but inside she is still highly traumatised."

That night Kirsty and Charlotte lay awake, quietly talking way past the time they should have been asleep. Even in their hushed tones Mr and Mrs Wilson had heard and smiled at the joy it was to have a larger household again.

"I think they will do each other a lot of good," said Mr Wilson as he climbed into bed next to his wife. "They seem to get on so well."

"That they do. I just hope it stays that way. I also hope they go to sleep soon."

"Ah, don't worry; they will settle when they settle. It is Sunday tomorrow so there will be no rush for them to get up too early."

The two young girls eventually settled and were soon asleep. Kirsty drifted off first and Charlotte learnt one thing about Kirsty that she didn't know before, she snored. With a small grin of finding out something she didn't know, Charlotte turned over and settled into sleep.

The quiet of the house didn't last; at just past 3am a loud scream rang out into the night. "What was that?" asked Mr Wilson, his heart racing faster than it had done for years.

"It sounds like Charlotte has had a nightmare," replied Mrs Wilson who was already out of bed and running towards the girl's room.

As she reached it she heard, "Its okay Charlotte, I'm here. It was just a nightmare." Mrs Wilson popped her head round the door and Kirsty waved her Mum away.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I relived the final moments of seeing my parents alive," sobbed Charlotte. "I saw them die and I was not far behind."

"You sounded absolutely terrified," Kirsty pointed out. "Did you feel that frightened?"

"Yes," sobbed Charlotte. "It seems my Dad died straight away but Mum's life ebbed away over several hours. I didn't know she was dying and could only talk with her, not knowing the pain she was in."

"You probably distracted her," thought Kirsty out loud.

"That is what the hospital psychiatrist said. I just wish I'd known."

"Would you have been able to help? Would it have made it any better?"

"I suppose not."

"Look, why don't you go to the toilet and wash your face. You seem to have sweated quite a lot."

"Sorry for waking you."

"Don't be silly. What are sisters for?"

When Charlotte got back from cleaning herself up Kirsty said, "Your bed is a bit of a smelly mess and I don't want to disturb Mum by getting clean sheets out. Why don't you snuggle up with me; it might stop the nightmares."

"I can't do that," gasped Charlotte.

"Would you rather sleep in smelly sheets?"

"I suppose not but isn't it wrong?"

"Don't be silly," said Kirsty. "It isn't like you are a boy or anything."

Charlotte climbed into bed and they settled to sleep. When Kirsty thought Charlotte was asleep she whispered, "Sleep well Charlotte, I love you."

"Me too," was the mumbled reply.

Notes:

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