A few moments after I was seated in history again, Chloe, who sat to my right reached over and tapped me when the teacher wasn't looking.

"What did Felicity want?" She asked me in a hushed voice.

I leaned over "apparently I can't use the girl's bathroom. I have to use the staff's" I responded.

"What?!" She exclaimed louder than I'd have liked. The entire class turned to us including the teacher who looked annoyed.

"Sorry" Chloe apologised shyly.

After that, Chloe didn't say another word about it until the period ended. It looked like she had been fuming the entire time.

=^_^=

Eventually the bell did ring and as soon as the teacher left, everyone else packed up to leave too.

If I knew Chloe, she was going to explode in my face any minute but instead, she ran to the front of the class.

"Could all the girls please stay back please?" She asked in a raised voice making sure everyone could hear her over the noise of tables and chairs shifting. "It won't take long" she promised.

Oh no. What the hell was she up to?

The boys were now taking their time so Clarissa clapped loudly as she walked up to the front of the class.

"Leave, assholes" she basically commanded.

As they finally began to make their way out the door, she followed and closed it behind them. I admired her so much.

"Now what's up?" She turned and asked Chloe.

"So 'Felicity' told Jo that she couldn't use the girl's bathroom. She has to use the 'Staffs'" she stressed her words in a way that showed disgust

I raised my arm and waiting for her to stop speaking so I didn't interrupt.

"It's fine" I tried to assure them "I don't really mind, it's whatever"

"No fuck that" Clarissa chimed in "that's discrimination"

"I just- I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable" I replied, I was trying to blend in. I didn't want anyone making a fuss about me anymore. I'd had enough of that throughout summer.

"Who are you making uncomfortable?" she asked and continued without waiting for an answer I didn't have anyway "is anyone here uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with Joanna"?

Most of the girls just shook their heads.

"And some parents might not be okay with it" I retorted.

Chloe walked up to me and said "Jo, it's not right. You're a girl and they're basically saying you're not and I'm not okay with that." She turned to the other girls "we should write a petition to the school".

"Sure I'll fucking sign in" Clarissa agreed "we all support Joanna, right girls?"

Everyone seemed to agree. Why wasn't I thrilled?

=^_^=

The next two classes went by quickly without too much issue and soon the lunch bell went. I'd already heard a few people talking about the bathroom issue which wasn't great.

This school loved gossip and I hated being at the center of it. I remember back in 9th grade, someone had spread a rumor that I was actually a girl masquerading as a boy. The entire school believed it and some assholes even tried to get proof. In hindsight, they weren't wrong.

Chloe and I were one of the first to get to the lunch room. We didn't want to deal with the long line that usually formed so we hurried to get a tray and food and then pick one of the many still empty tables.

I half ate and half watched the door for Mikey. Chloe noticed this and not one to leave a good comment unmade, "oh to be so crazy in love" she mocked

"Shut up" I laughed.

"Girl, I can't wait to be your maid of honour. I'm gonna turn it up" she joked while taking a big bite.

"First of all, gross" I made a comically disgusted face at her talking while chewing, "and we're not going to get married"

"Why not? I can honestly say I've never met two people so disgustingly in love"

I blushed. "We're literally still in high school. And--"

I paused. I hated that I felt like this even when I knew there wasn't any evidence of it.

"What if he decides that he wants a normal girl"

She frowned "you're a normal girl, Jo. It seems everyone else knows that but you."

"Other couples have sex" I told her, "I just wish I wasn't so different. You're lucky. You don't have to deal with this shit."

She reached across the table and took my hand "You know he loves you right? If my parents loved eachother half as much as you both do, they'd still be together. I've never felt anything like that either. I'm weird so I don't know if I ever will" she laughed.

"You think I'm lucky?" she asked. "I think you're so lucky. I'd give anything to have a boy I like look at me the way Mikey looks at you" she pressed my fingers in hers "I hate to see you sabotaging your own happiness"

I was difficult to respond to that. I couldn't.

She must have noticed because she immediately changed the subject

"I get that it sucks you can't have sex with him the regular way but there's literally other ways. Tighter ways" she smirked

"I don't want to talk about this" I covered my face with both palms.

She laughed "I could tell you all about it if you want" She was enjoying herself.

"Stop" I groaned.

The cafeteria had gotten louder and louder as more people walked in and eventually we couldn't make out what we were saying without shouting so I was happy when she decided we'd talk about it another time.

I spotted Mikey walk into the cafeteria and made a little wave. He waved back and pointed to the lunch line. I nodded.

=^_^=

Soon he had gotten a tray of food and taken a place by my side on the table. Two kids, Nigel and Peter, who I recognised from a few of my classes had taken seats across and towards the end of the table.

"Hey babe" Mikey said casually.

"Hi" I smiled up at him.

"Hey, Chloe" he turned to her.

"Hey" she replied.

Turning back to me, "so I heard what happened with Mrs David"

I hated this school.

"Yeah" I replied "it's not a big deal"

"Hmm" was his only response.

=^_^=

We had all settled in for a quiet lunch so it took me by surprise when Doug slid in with his tray.

"'Sup Harris. 'Joanna'"

Why did he say my name like that?

He looked hard at Chloe before she decided to help him out.

"It's Courtney"

"Of course, Courtney. I knew that" he replied before turning to the two other boys at the table. "Scram" and just like that, they picked up their trays and left. That was me in 9th grade.

"Hey guys, over here" Doug shouted to a different packed table and literally everyone picked up their trays and came over.

I scanned all the faces that were coming over and quickly became self-conscious. I noticed Mick, Clinton, Clarissa and Lindsey right away. It still freaked me out how accurately portrayed they'd been in the dream. The dream had been so vivid that it felt more like a memory now. I wondered whether they'd remember the time we met at the mall and watched a movie if I asked them.

I recognised Ronnie right away too who was really well known around. They were pretty loaded. His dad owned the metalwork factory in town and also a construction company. Apparently his house was massive but I'd never been anywhere near it. I also heard the football team held parties there pretty regularly since his parents were almost never around.

I'd seen most of the others around school although we'd never talked. They were mostly on the football team and cheerleaders.

Soon everyone had taken up new spots around the table, Mick was the first one to speak.

"What are we doing here with these losers, Doug?"

"Yo chill, these are my people" Doug replied laughing "right Mikey?" He tapped Mikey on the shoulder "we're tight. We went through some crazy shit"

The group groaned.

"We know cause you won't stop talking about it" Ronnie laughed. He was really good looking. He had that storybook prince charming look about him.

"Yeah, cause it was insane" Doug defended "Mikey here got stabbed. Jo was strangled and nearly drowned. Crazy shit"

He'd gotten their attention again because they were listening.

"Wait, by Ben?" Lindsey asked.

"Fuck yeah, I'd never seen so much fucking blood. We had to find a way stop the bleeding"

Sure. We.

"Go on" Doug tapped Mikey again "Show them".

Mikey looked uncomfortable so I took his hand and told him he didn't have to.

He said it was fine before raising the sweater and t-shirt he had underneath. I caught my first glimpse of the scar on his right side that I only now noticed was dangerously close to his ribs.

I hadn't seen it before today. It made me want to cry. All the feelings I thought I had bottled away of the island kept flooding back in. He could have died. I could have died.

"Why would Ben do such a thing?" Clarissa asked.

"It wasn't his fault actually" Doug said "there was something on the island fucking with all of us. We were seeing shit and acting weird as fuck. Ben was really fucked up"

"He still looks fucked up" Mick added "Y'all see him walking around like he's on something, right?"

The words echoed in the background but I was only vaguely aware of the conversation around me.

I remembered Mikey's face that night in the moments just after he'd been stabbed and while we tried to stop the bleeding.

"If you ask me, every one of them is a little fucked up in the head now and all I'm saying is--" Mick laughed to himself "we should know if there's a chance someone shows up to class with daddy's shotgun"

They laughed.

"That's all I'm saying" he laughed. They laughed. Like something was funny.

What was it about being a starting quarterback in this town that just automatically made you a dick? And everyone acted like it was normal.

"Come on dude, not cool" Doug tried to be the voice of reason. Fucking bizarro world. Mick was making Doug seem sensitive.

"Chill dude, it's a joke" Mick replied "don't be such a bitch, right Jo?"

When I didn't respond, he moved on, "I'm not gonna lie Chloe, you're kinda bad. Where you been?"

"Not interested" Chloe told him.

"Wait, I thought your name was Courtney" Doug asked. I chuckled to myself.

"Well when you're ready to get with a real stud, you know where to find me" he licked his lips as if he wasn't acting like a big enough perv.

I couldn't believe he was saying all this stuff with Clarissa right there. Sure they weren't official but they messed around. I never knew what Clarissa saw in Mick. She was such a nice person and deserved so much better.

"Excuse me" I shuffled my way past Mikey and Doug and headed straight for the exit. Mikey and Chloe both came with me.

=^_^=

PE was a period I could finally be by myself. As my classmates struggled out on the field to run laps, I sat in the bleachers and watched them. The assistant coach for the football team handled PE that day. It got me thinking how I hadn't seen coach in a long time except on the news.

I had thought I would see him today but nothing so far.

I was sitting on one of the seats close to the entrance so I could hear the conversations a few of the latecomers had as they made their way into the stadium. It quickly became a common theme that they'd be talking about the whole island thing. Usually me.

"So what if he looks or acts like a girl, he's still a boy and I don't know if I'm comfortable sharing a bathroom with him" one girl said

"SHE'S harmless though right? And honestly saying she can't use the girl's bathroom is invalidating and unnecessary" another girl replied.

I couldn't see either of their faces yet and didn't recognise the voices so I waited for them to come into view. It made sense to know who was on my side and who wasn't.

I couldn't believe there were sides now.

"Well, I think the school is right" The first girl said.

"They literally do not care about what we think, at all. It's just an excuse to be transphobic"

When they came into view, I recognised one of the girls from English. I wasn't sure but I thought she was a drama kid. I made a mental note to talk to her if I ever got the chance. The other girl, Jessica had only transferred here last year. I wondered how I would change her mind about me.

Soon they were out of earshot and joining everyone else on the field.

=^_^=

I wished I could have been out there with them. They all looked so happy. Running, goofing off. But things were different for me now. They'd decided PE would be too complicated so it was best I sat it out for now.

"Hey" I heard Mikey and turned to see him standing next to me smiling. I realised I hadn't seen him out there with the others.

"Hey" I said back.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked as he took the seat beside me.

"Nothing. Just how much things have changed the last 3 months, you know?"

He sighed "Trust me, I know. But that's life"

"I know"

"But you're happy right?" He asked looking concerned "you're happy right now, aren't you?"

I brushed off the concern "yeah, sure. I just didn't miss dealing with Mick and the rest of them.

I smoothed the skirt on my lap. "I'm fine" I assured him.

"Good, I hate seeing you hurt" he took my hand and looked deep in my eyes "if there's ever anything bothering you, you tell me?"

I smiled and nodded.

He smiled too "you're so beautiful". He reached with one of his arms and touched my face. I inched forward and so did he. Before long, we were kissing again. Him and I together always made me forget all my worries. The way he held me made me feel like we would be together forever. I hoped so because I didn't know what I would do without him.

Not long after, I made him go join to others and I watched the rest of PE alone. The weather was nice.

Eventually we all returned to our classes and the day continued. The rest of the school day would continue without much more excitement.

=^_^=

We were doing warm-ups on the soccer field eagerly waiting for coach to show up. Most of us hadn't seen him since we got on that ship except occasionally on TV. Doug had seen him briefly in town the week before school started.

Usually he'd be here before we did setting up for training but not today.

The school day had ended and like we always did, we got dressed in our kit and came to the field. A few things were different though, today, a number of kids were in the stands probably hoping to catch a glimpse of coach who had become something of a local celebrity. Another thing different was that we weren't already being yelled at while running laps.

I glanced across everyone on the field. All 16 of us players and Mr. Stevens the assistant coach. I'd heard he and Mr. Baldwin were close friends. I wondered how he must have been doing but he didn't show anything.

Wearing that kit and sitting on that grass, it was like not much had changed. The boys were deep in conversation discussing some anime "who would win" scenario. The other half of our team who were sophomores and juniors also joined in on the conversation happily arguing the case for who they thought stronger.

It felt great being back here. Things were a bit different but they were approaching normal. I wouldn't need to fight for survival anymore because I was safe atleast.

I closed my eyes and felt the breeze blow.

Eventually we started wondering whether coach would ever show and we asked Mr. Stevens as much who assured us he was just running late. In all the years I'd known him, coach never ran late.

=^_^=

Soon noise from a commotion near the entrance reached us as four adults came into view. I noticed coach and the principal right away but the other made my heart beat faster. I recognised the black uniforms and became even more sure as they got closer. They were police. Why were they here? With coach and Principal David.

Soon they closed the gap and were standing in front of us. Coach's eyes remained trained on me. He'd shaved his head. Why was I focused on that?

"Jo, your mum is here to pick you up?" Principal David was the first to speak.

"Why?" I asked.

"Oliver Reid, would you come with us please" One of the officers said simply.

=^_^=

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