“She’s just coming, Des.” I said into the hand piece before handing it to Stella, who was shaking with fear for what might happen.

I walked away to give her some privacy with her very personal call. As I sat in the lounge, trying not to listen, I wondered about how the outcome would affect me. It was unavoidable, I had to work with Des at least for the next few months, and possibly live with Stella for an indefinite time, unless I stayed up here in my ivory tower or she actually married him and moved up to Bristol.

I suppose she might end up being a regular visitor here or maybe she’d just move in with Des. It wasn’t my problem, directly at least, I’d just have to cope with whatever happened. Like life in general, I suppose.

I needed to get some work done on the mammal survey. The data Tom was sending or having sent to me needed looking through. It was probably the best of a day’s work sifting it all. Once I got shot of Stella, I could do some. That sounded awfully callous, she was important to me, but so was my work.

She came in looking quite pale. “How did it go?” I asked.

“He hasn’t ended it, well not yet anyway. He wants to meet on Monday and talk it over with me.”

“I’m working then, you realise and I have prep to do for my teaching.”

“Do you want me to go?”

“No, stay as long as you like, but I have to do this work.”

“That’s okay, I’ll amuse myself–I might even go for a bike ride.”

“If that’s meant to make me envious it’s succeeding. Why the delay with Des?”

“He’s got to go up to Yorkshire to film some flooding.”

“Don’t they have cameramen in Yorkshire?” I wondered out loud.

“Not with his particular expertise, they are looking to do a thing on the effects of flooding upon wildlife and also farm animals.”

“I thought the effects were the same, they drown.”

“Some do.”

“Those silly wool covered things have a strong sense of kamikaze, they seem to drown for a pastime.”

“Yuck, poor little sheepies.”

“It’s very sad, Stella, but they have very small brains and a poor sense of survival.”

“I thought some of the hardy varieties, could cope with anything. I know we have some almost unkillable ones up on the grouse moors.”

“Yeah, well being pecked to death by grouse is a trifle unusual, even by sheep standards, although I’ve seen crows kill them, pecking out their eyes and things.”

“Oh don’t, that’s horrible. How can a crow kill something bigger than itself?”

“I don’t know if the sheep was sick or exhausted or what, but by the time I got to it, it was dying and it’s eyes were gone.”

“What happened to old fashioned shepherds, caring for their flocks?”

“Sheep are cheap as ninepence, that’s the problem, farmers don’t care like they used to.”

“Where was that?”

“Up in the Cumbrian fells, above Shap, very hard landscape. I was looking for ravens and things, saw the odd one plus a red kite.”

“They the ones with the forked tail?”

“Yes, just been reintroduced into England, about five years ago.”

“Saw them in Menorca, years back.”

“They have black kite there too, plus booted eagles and Egyptian vultures.”

“Have you been there, then?”

“Not yet, but I’ll get there one day, they have dormice too.”

“Oh do they? You’ll have to speak nicely to my dad.”

“Why? What’s he got to do with Menorca?”

“He owns a villa there, near Ciutadella.”

“Oh does he, I might just have words with Henry.”

“It gets used by loads of his bank cronies, so you’ll need to book up in advance.”

“Might be easier to get a package holiday.” I sighed at what might have been especially with the poor summer.

“That’s up to you. What about Des, do you think he’s really off filming?”

“How do I know? You know him better than I do.”

“Yeah, but you seem to be able to second guess him better than me.”

“Stella, I don’t. I have no idea what he’s up to, except that if you’re thinking of marrying him you have to trust him. If you can’t then you may be making a mistake. But that is for you to decide.”

“But what do you think?”

“Stella, I don’t know how many times I have to say this, I don’t know. Des is a very complex creature with an equally complex history. I won’t speculate however much you want me to. It’s pointless.”

“Can I stay until he comes back?”

“I told you that already, you can stay as long as you like as long as you appreciate I have work to do.”

“Can I help?”

“Not really.”

“I could do some cooking or cleaning.”

“If you want, but it’s quite clean here, isn’t it?”

“Maybe if I just keep out of your way.” She said desultorily, I wanted to agree wholeheartedly but that would have been mean.

“If you can give me the mornings to work we could ride or something in the afternoons. Of course next week I’m off on the summer school thing, all week. I’m not altogether happy of you and Des together having this chat while I’m busy working.”

“Why?”

“If it’s bad news, I feel I should be here supporting you.”

“Oh in case I top myself, is that it?”

It was but I couldn’t say that, “Of course not, but I know I’d want your support if Simon had chucked me, or still could.”

“I doubt it, he’d be lost without you. I promise I won’t kill myself till you get home, how’s that?”

“That isn’t funny, Stella. You know how I worry about you.”

“That sounds as if you’re my mother.”

“No, I’m your sister, and they worry too.”

“So you think I’m at risk?”

“I didn’t say that, I think that you are vulnerable to great hurt if this thing with Des goes wrong. I don’t like to see you hurt.”

“Isn’t that just a polite way of saying you don’t trust me to cope?”

“No, not at all. It’s about not wanting to see you, someone I care about, getting upset and hurt.”

“What if I chuck him?”

“That’s your prerogative.” Secretly, I wished she would.

“I see, so you are completely neutral?”

“No, I love you much more than Des, who is a friend of Simon’s and a collaborator on this film thing I have to make for your dad.”

“He’s a friend of yours too, isn’t he?” She didn’t believe me.

“Sort of, not one I’d necessarily choose myself, but I seem stuck with him. However, you are my family now, so I care far more for you than I do for him. Please believe me, now, I don’t know about you, but I need to go to bed.”

“Can I sleep with you again?”

“If you like.”