(aka Bike) Part 582 by Angharad |
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I didn’t know if Simon was still in the house or not when I awoke at about five. I’d had a wretched night and felt exhausted. I wanted to go to my own bed, but was frightened Simon might be there. I’d said some horrible things to him and was ashamed, but was still angry with him.
I unlocked the door as quietly as I could and checked the girls, they were still asleep. My bedroom door was open and when I looked the bed was empty. It was still dark and couldn’t see very far down the drive, so Simon’s car might still be there. I crawled into my bed and was so fast asleep, I didn’t feel the two bodies cuddling into me.
I eventually woke about eight, mainly in response to someone tapping on my shoulder. “Mummy, Mummy, wake up. Where’s Daddy?”
“Wossermatter?” I sort of slurred as I opened my eyes, which felt like they‘d been rolled in a sugar basin.
“Where’s Daddy?” Trish asked.
“I don’t know,” I replied and yawned.
“He’s not here or downstairs,” she stated and looked at me questioningly.
“I don’t know where he is.” I felt so guilty, I was blushing when I said, “Look, we had a row last night and he went off to cool down.”
“He is coming back, isn’t he?” asked Trish; so far Mima had said nothing but her bottom lip was trembling. I put my arm around her.
“I expect so, but I don’t know when.”
“My Daddies always run away,” said Trish and the tears began to fall. I hugged her with my other arm and soon had two crying children, soaking my nightdress as they mourned their apparent loss.
Bloody typical, he insults them and I throw him out and they miss him, not love me. I lay there feeling even more stupid and very very sad. How can I manage to cock things up so wonderfully? Destroying everything I love. I don’t know about Trish needing a shrink, maybe it was me who needed one. I would call Dr Thomas later.
Tom popped in with a cuppa and saw the three of us lying there and weeping. He didn’t stay but made sure I saw the tea. I managed to sit myself up, and sipped my tea to the accompanying sobs of the girls.
“I expect he’ll be back in a day or two–how would you like to see my other house?”
“You have another house, Mummy?” said Trish.
“Yes, in Bristol; it used to belong to my Mummy and Daddy.”
“You had more than one Mummy and Daddy, too?” asked Trish, Mima still hadn’t said anything.
“I only had one Mummy and she died, so has my first Daddy, which is why Tom is my other Daddy.”
“You’re lucky,” Trish said, adding the sting, “you still have a daddy–we don’t.”
“We don’ ’ave a daddy,” squealed Mima and burst into tears.
I felt like saying, ‘No, but you have a mummy who loves you so much.’ I didn’t, no matter what I did, they would ignore me if Simon was about. It was a fact of life, so I tried not to get too vexed by it.
I managed to get them showered and dressed, though we all felt rather flat. I began to see the dimensions of what I’d done last night–they were huge. Having thrown him out, I couldn’t invite him back, he’d have to ask. Simon was a proud man, I couldn’t see him coming back to me. His wardrobe was empty–he wasn’t coming back. I felt empty.
With the girls, I had to keep going, I had no choice. I’d already caused them grief, so I had to compensate for it. I made us breakfast, but couldn’t eat my own. Tom came and took the girls out with Kiki. I called Dr Thomas. Her secretary told me she was away for a week. Wonderful.
Tomorrow, I was due to take Trish to see Dr Edwards. After that, I could take the kids with me to Bristol. Maybe a change of air would do me good? I didn’t know, and I certainly didn’t trust my instincts any more. I’d ask Tom’s advice.
I made up the bread machine and set it going. It would just about be ready for lunch. I then set about making some ham and vegetable soup.
The phone rang, it was Stella. “Hi, Cathy, can you or Si come and get me this afternoon?”
“Si isn’t here.”
“Where is he? Working?”
“I don’t know, we had a big fight last night and I threw him out.”
“You did what?”
“You heard me, I gave him his ring back and asked him to go.”
“I told you never to give their rings back, I’ve got several.”
“I’m less mercenary than you, Stella.”
“True,” she paused, “So could you come and get me?”
“I s’pose so.”
“Come after three, I’ll go and see Dad.”
“Don’t tell him about Si and me, will you?”
“Your troubles are for you to solve, nah, I’m just gonna say ’bye ’bye, ’cos I’m coming home. He’ll be jealous as hell.”
“I’m going up to Bristol for a few days, just to get my head straight.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow, after Trish’s appointment.”
“You can’t…”
“Why not? It’s my house.”
“ ’Cos I need you.”
“When’s the baby coming home?”
“A week or two.”
“I’ll be back before then.”
“But what am I gonna do?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I need you there, Cathy.”
“You’re a big girl now, Stella, you don’t need me.”
“Yes I do, if you’re going to Bristol, so am I.” My heart sank, how could I tell her she wasn’t invited? The whole point was getting some time on my own relatively. I had to take the girls, it was me they were entrusted to, so I had to take them.
That sounds as if they were a burden, but they weren’t and I wouldn’t consider not taking them, however the downside was, on my own, I’d get no respite, I’d be on duty twenty four seven. The joys of parenthood.
“Can’t you stay and keep an eye on Tom, for me.”
“Who’s going to cook and stuff?”
“I’m sure you’ll muddle through, the freezer is full.”
“Cathy, this is so selfish of you, I can’t believe you’d desert me in my hour of need.”
My jaw fell open, and before I could reply, she’d rung off. As I put down the handset, Tom came back with the girls and Kiki.
“We’s been feedin’ ducks, Mummy,” said Mima and hugged my legs.
“More problems?” asked a perceptive Tom.
“A demanding Stella, she’s coming home this afternoon, wants me to get her.”
“Want me to go?”
“No, could you watch the kids?”
“Surely, or will they be watching me?”
“Yeah. Look, Daddy, I thought I might take the girls up to Bristol for a couple of days, you know, chill out?”
“So you want me to keep an eye on Stella?”
“Am I that transparent?”
“You don’t want me to answer that, surely?”
“No, maybe not.”
“Is Simon coming back?”
I shrugged. He shook his head and went to give Kiki a drink.
Trish took off her jacket and then took Mima’s and hung them both up in the cloakroom. She was so helpful in some ways.
“Mummy, why is there smoke coming from the kitchen?”
“Oh hell, the soup!”
Comments
Sinful Pride
Even as she begins to realize what she has done, she still is unwilling to accept any blame or make any effort to repair the breach. He'll have to ask to come back, indeed. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!
Yuri!
Yuri!
Stubborn Pride
The whole thing is a huge mess. I hope that someone finally realizes what is at stake and makes the first move to heal the rift. I just hope that Stella doesn't decide to do anything stupid while Cathy and the girls are gone. It was really good news that Puddin would be getting out of the hospital soon. One has to wonder what the poor thing will come home to? Cathy and Simon both have to grow up!
I Think That Angharad
Is correct! Both of them are stubborn! Cathy way too quick to jump ship at times, Is she hormonal or going bonkers?
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Yes, but what about Puddin? She needs her daily fix from Cathy
Cathy, Cathy, it is time to see what can be done about getting you some help around the house, and some help for yourself
Yes, she's overwhelmed. She's gone through an awful lot in a short time.
She's gone from taking care of herself by herself, to admitting she needs to transition, her Real Life test, SRS, taking acre of, let's see,
Simon, Stella, Tom, Henry, 'Puddin,
The kid with aids, and in a different sense, taking care of part of the Russion Mafia, a purse thief, saving several lives, and I am sure I missed a couple of things
Do I hear someone mentioning PTSD?
It’s not given to anyone to have no regrets; only to decide, through the choices we make, which regrets we’ll have,
David Weber – In Fury Born
Holly
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Holly
A couple of things
You missed Mima and Trish.
I'm kind of worried about
who is going to be the next one in the hospital. Might it be Cathy with a complete breakdown? The girl needs help!
Selfish Prats
Stella gives selfish prats a bad name! It's starting to look like nothing she's ever done has been out of consideration for anyone else. Remember back to the beginning? Even when she was helping Cathy, she was totally oblivious and unconcerned for her feelings and well-being, only doing it out of a self-motivated desire to play with a life-sized dolly. That's what's been so infuriating about her all along. Whether she's doing something that helps someone else, or whether it makes them crazy, it's all about Stella, always about Stella.
The characters in this tale have been amazingly consistent. We just keep learning more about them.
So, what to expect next? I'm guessing the third time is the charm. Stella offs herself. Postpartum depression, etc., not that she was that stable prepartum. And baby makes four. Five, if the big baby comes back!
Pippa - another viewpoint here
let's try this on for size - Pippa
Cathy & Stella are polar opposites.
they have lived in extremes of each other in almost every way, but the one thing they both suffer from in excess is in lack of self esteem.
Put Stella under pressures she's not used to & she falls apart cause she's never had to deal with some of life's extremes. She's not bad, just hasn't had to deal with anything. others did & fixed it for her.
Kathy comes from the other side of this extreme. No one was ever there for her when she needed help. so she avoided problems,stalled in avoidance, or ran away from them untill someone trounced on her percieved value system and then you get RAMBO Cathy.
Both are fucked up, but,together they really are a match.
Replace Stella with Simon & match with Cathy & you still get an equal result. All three need help, they get it sometimes from each other, but, all three, dont really have a common denominator.
simon doesnt get women
Stella doesnt really get men
cathy is the 3rd gender that doesnt really get either one
when they openly communicate that's when they get along best.
I'm not sure if what I wrote make sense to anyone, cause in real life, I've tried communicating this to many people i've had contact with & lost em at almost point I opened my mouth
Bike
I can only say one thing, "IT HAS TO BE THE BLACK CAT that's writting these last few parts! Richard
Richard
OK,
We've had our dose of nice, now for the other side. The evil, dark side. Who knew Angharad had it in her?
If you didn't you haven't been following the story now, have you?
So annoying. So real. So addictive
At this stage every commentator wants to give Cathy and co. a good slap but we are all still reading.
To portray the central character we identify with as a self-sabotaging brat is a writing masterstroke. Today in real time Angharad has just posted Bike 2,391 and I think that must be down to her "warts and all" characters - real people last that long, not stereotypical creations for a novel.
Rhona McCloud
There is a semi-pro team in wales The Welsh Warthogs
They play the Western Wombats but only 1/2 court. they have itty, bitty legs
I said keep the ring.
Stella, wipe your own nose for a time. If you must, Tom's a good cook.
May be Lord Stainbery will decide that those two kids count. I wonder, If they were because of natural gestation. would Simon say the same thing
Simon's had a good deal, living in Tom's house with he and Cathy all this time.
Cefin