We arrived at University and the three of us went directly to our head tutors rooms, Fiona Thompson she knew Kelly and Shonali but did not recognise me until I spoke that is. I asked her for a private discussion when she realised who I was she looked shocked and said, "Well under the circumstances I think it would be a good idea!" The door was closed and I told her about my decision to live as I felt I should live.
Once over her initial shock she took it quite well – in fact she was amazing. When I told her that I had changed my name by deed poll she started calling me by my new name also while we were talking she made an appointment for me to see the Dean of Faculty.

After this she told me that I was not the first person to decide to live as the opposite sex both male and female's had done this in the past she went on to tell me that the University has access to some of the best councillors available and the Dean would arrange an appointment for me if I wanted it.

I offered to withdraw from the course if she thought that there would be too much trouble. Both Kelly and Shonali protested quite loudly finally Fiona managed to get a word in edgewise, "Susanna" she started, "Forget all about what you have just said. I feel I know my students and am 99% certain that there will be no problems at all. Furthermore there are now laws that will use the full force of the law against any victimisation so you stay on the course!" Then looking pointedly at Kelly and Shonali she finished, "And if all else fails you always have your two friends here to support you and all the tutors as well. So whatever you do do not fear your future here at the University"

She smiled at me and told me it was time to see the Dean. I left her rooms in a much better frame of mind Shona took my hand and squeezed it in support as we walked the short distance to the Deans rooms.
When we arrived she asked Kelly and Shonali if they wanted to join in the meeting they glanced at each other and decided to remain outside and wait for me.
If anything the meeting with the Dean went even better he asked me a lot of pertinent questions. Of course he asked me if I was 100% certain about the course of action I was taking and once he was satisfied he asked me if I wanted the University to arrange counselling for me.

Of course I accepted this offer as I really felt that I needed to work my way through the whole process and to get my head straight - but I did not tell him this.
He made two phone calls and arranged for me to have my first consultation with the counsellor in two days time and finally he asked how would I like the rest of my course year to be told of my decision (I was thrilled that they actually asked me! Even though I hadn't a clue on this big step). Fiona said, "I think it's about time to bring his friends in to discuss this." So Shonali and Kelly were brought into the discussion – which lasted for nearly an hour.
In the end I went with simply telling everyone during a tutorial session when everyone was reasonably at ease.

Luck was with us because by then it was lunchtime and just after lunch was a tutorial so Kelly, Shonali and myself went to lunch. We were approached by a few people in our year but no comment was made I was simply introduced as Susanna nothing more.
I think no one recognised me. Over lunch Fiona had informed the other tutors and as we made ready for the introduction we mentioned that during lunch I had met some of the year and no one commented. Her response was, "Well you do look so feminine there is really no wonder"
We entered the tutorial room and she got the attention of the group there were about 20 students.

She Started, "People! I would like to introduce you to Susanna whom some of you met over lunch. Susanna is joining the year in place of Stephen who has - shall we say left the year. I would ask you all too please treat her with the respect she deserves as what she is doing is a very brave thing and her future will not be easy"

There was a puzzled silence until one of the students suddenly realised who I was with a stunned look on his face he managed to stammer, "Susanna! Were you Steve?" I nodded at this not trusting myself to speak.
This discovery caused a bit of conversation until one of my friends (when I was living as a male) came up to me and looked me straight in the eyes.
I was terrified at what his reaction was going to be and it must have shown as he touched me on the arm I flinched but he simply said, "Well Susanna you are brave! But you do make a better girl than boy - go for it." I felt tears welling but managed to hold it together I touched his hand and said, "Thanks for this Dave it means a lot to me – will we still be friends?

He gave an infectious grin and said, "Well with you looking so good it's not going to be easy teaching you how to play rugby but what the hell – of course we'll be friends".
This broke the spell and the whole of the course gathered around me and welcomed me into their midst I was overwhelmed. And so was Kelly and Shonali, Mrs Thompson wiped a tear from her eye and announced that she was proud of the course and asked me what I wanted to do.
I looked at her puzzled and she explained, "As today has been a traumatic one for you do you want to go home or stay here?"
Kell answered for me, "I think it would be best if she stayed with her friends OK Susanna?" She asked me as an afterthought. I grinned feeling a huge weight lift from my shoulders. "Yep, I think she's right Mrs Thompson."

The rest of the day went by in a blur everyone was curious about me. I was asked many questions about why I had decided to become a girl. The other girls (because that is how I think about myself – a girl) were very friendly and accepted me more or less straight away asking where I had got my hair done.
Kelly and Shonali told them also about shopping last Saturday and the amount of shopping we still had to do, three of the girls said that they would like a good days shopping so we made a date.

The guys were a bit more reserved maybe because as yet I was not a complete girl and they could have thought that being over friendly they risked the label of being gay – I just don't know.
The male friends I knew before today still regarded me as a friend. But the way they saw me had subtly changed though I could still whop their ass at pool!
As I proved later that day when we were having a class drink I was now going to be a member of the girl's pool team!!!

As the three of us walked home after the drink, we were all lost in our own thoughts; Shonali asked me, "Well Susanna now it's in the open - how do you feel?" I considered this and finally answered, "Well" I said thoughtfully, "Very relieved, very happy it's gone the way it did, and amazed at the way the Dean handled it. I thought someone his age would be a bit……… well I don't know, but you know what I mean" I trailed off unable to put my thoughts into words.
Kelly said, "I think I know what you mean I suppose its because he has worked with students for years and has seen most things." We nodded and she carried on, "Also I was stunned at the reaction of the guy's in class they were amazing and supported you completely" "I agree with you completely" I responded, "Their help and understanding is going to make things a lot easier for me.”

We spent the night finishing off course work and chatting away and making lists of what we wanted next Saturday. Kelly had decided that for my 'periods' while a tampon could be used with my prosthetic pussy a maxi pad would be more realistic (read uncomfortable) for me!
Shonali meanwhile had found that some of the hormone's I could take would give me the symptoms of having a period bloating, mood swings, discomfort possible period type pains!
They both giggled at my look of dismay and told me – you want to be a girl you get the bad as well as the good smiling ruefully I had to agree with my 'teachers' though I did think of them as slightly masochistic!

The next day as we got ready for lectures, deciding what to wear was again a topic as again I wanted to wear jeans but my mentors insisted that for the first week skirts and dresses was the order of the day (or week). So I wore a denim mini skirt, 'Rebel, Rebel vest and a loose fitting jumper with a purple quilted shiny shell body warmer my shoes were 3 inch heeled wedges. The whole day at uni was like I had never been a guy I was treat as a girl – it was both surreal and great.

A very minor thing happened but to me it was a great step in my acceptance as Susanna. This was the first time I went to the toilet at uni I got the urge about the same time as a girl in class Jenny we walked to the toilets together. When we got to the ladies I hesitated, Jen just said very simply, "Come on silly you're one of us now" like I said it was only a simple thing but it made me feel great.

As usual after lectures we retired to the pub for a couple of drinks. Word must have got around because there were students off other courses who I knew in passing. Again there was more curiosity than animosity though on guy on an engineering course did make some snide remarks but we soon put in his place mainly by the other girls also by a couple of the guys who had words with him this all made me feel more accepted and comfortable about the future.

After a couple of wines the three of us walked home chatting away when we got into the flat a large thick envelope was in the mail. It was the documents concerning my name change I was thrilled, once I had informed the long list of organisations of my name change I would be officially Miss Susanna Emma Johnson!
This list contained every aspect of my life from the Tax Man through banks and store cards, utility companies, doctors, dentists, etc., etc., etc., through to the police (but only if you have a criminal record.
Some of these needed original document while the rest photo copies would suffice so after a supper of grilled salmon couscous and salad we set to scanning the deed poll document while I typed letters to the different organisations and government departments, after an hour or so I had a huge pile of mail to go the next day – then I would officially be Susanna.

We got changed into our nighties and I thought over how my bathroom routine had changed in the past few days, gone was the quick wash comb hair and out that I used to do as a man.

NOW! I showered, used a douche to maintain hygiene with the wee vee I wore this was perfectly possible and recommended when being worn for extended periods. I also used fem fresh in my douche next came makeup removal. Kelly and Shonali were real sticklers for this they had been doing this all their lives and had beautiful soft skin.
I on the other hand only did this when I used to cross dress then not very well!

Now they ensured that I removed my make up then cleansed my skin. I showered using skin softening shower products (not soap as most soaps dry the skin) if I took a bath the same was true the bath additives all were skin softening.
After showering or bathing I had to use a body moisturiser all over and they said I had to do this every shower until my skin was as soft as theirs only then I could reduce the frequency to every couple of days for the body lotion.
After this came face and neck moisturiser again I had to do this morning and night using intense rehydration creams and night serum creams.

And finally my hands and elbows had to be creamed every time my hands were washed! This again was to get my skin as soft as theirs. So you see from a 2 minute male routine, I was now in the bathroom for 20 minutes! Did I enjoy it? Silly question of course I did!

Wednesday came and I was my first appointment with the councillor, as we got ready for the day, Kelly and Shonali could tell I was anxious and did the best to calm me down, standing there in our bra's and panties we had the usual argument, or should I say discussions about what to wear, after the first two days I had figured our that a skirt or dress was the order of the day for the 'new girl', those two could wear anything, but they kept telling me that I must get used to wearing short skirts and dresses until it becomes second nature not to show the world your knickers every time you move.

So today I put on a pair of black 20 denier tights a red flared mini skirt a pink jersey camisole and a boat necked floral tunic. My shoes were flat ballerina style pumps in red with a flower detail at the front. My usual hobo bag - as this holds everything we needed for uni – in fact its amazing what you can get into a large hand bag even after such a short period of time I don't know how I got on before!
Make up was minimal, eyeliner, mascara, a light coat of eye shadow and a touch on lipstick. A spray of day perfume and we were ready; as it was starting to get cold I wore a black wool ¾ coat, with a hood and belted around the waist. I never knew getting ready could take so much thought!

The morning really dragged, my appointment was for the afternoon at 1:30 so we had our lunch break and after saying goodbye to the girls I set off by myself into town to meet my councillor. I had arranged to meet the girls in the pub and tell them how things had gone, this was my first time going into town as Susanna by myself so naturally I was a bit nervous but I needn't have worried, everyone took me for what they saw – a teenage girl.

I arrived at the building where the councillor was based and looked on the plaque outside for Dr. J. Harvey. The office was on the 4th floor as I took the elevator up and I must admit I was feeling sick! Without even thinking about it I went into the ladies room to freshen up which made me feel a lot better.
Taking a deep breath I went into the waiting room gave my name to the receptionist and sat down. I picked up a Today magazine and started reading the articles getting quite caught up in the gossip and fashion.

"Susanna?" I looked up and saw an attractive woman of about mid thirties brown shoulder length hair dresses in a burgundy suit with matching shoes. "Hello I'm Dr Harvey - but please call me Jill. Please follow me".

For some reason I was relieved my councillor was a woman as I trailed after her admiring her taste in clothes hoping that one day I would have fashion sense like her. The office was well appointed with a desk in one corner and a lot of books her desk was a mess that helped to make her seem more human and approachable.

In front of the fireplace there were two easy chairs at a slight angle from each other so we could see each other. "Please" Jill said, "Take a seat and make yourself comfortable."
I slipped off my coat and she hung it up for me as I sat - somewhat apprehensively in one of the chairs I settled back as these chairs were amazingly comfortable Jill sat in the other and smiled at me.
She began by telling me to relax as what I have decided to do while it’s a big decision its in no way unique. She explained that her task was to help me through the process making sure that I was doing this for the right reasons and to try and facilitate my new life.

She began by asking me questions about my life growing up my family I answered as honestly as I could, she asked me how long I had felt that I was in the wrong body.
I thought about this for a while and told her about dressing up in my sisters clothes and my mums sexy underwear wishing that those clothes were mine and I could wear them every day. I told her I knew I was doing wrong but it simply felt so right dressed in my sisters school uniform or prom dress.

She said, "Looking at you Susanna you seem to have gone a long way to achieving your goal" I was a bit confused then realised that she meant my shape. Grinning I said, "Well thank you! But none of what you see is me – yet! My boobs are stick on ones and my hips and bum are a cachet sex.
I really want to start on hormones but am waiting for professional help I then told her of the research the three of us had done and the fact that my two friends and flat mates were also my teachers in being a girl!

She smiled at this and said that I had two good friends there (I fervently agreed with her) and with their help my transition would definitely be easier.
As far as hormones were concerned she could prescribe me some medication and some oestrogen hormones so I ended up with Climaval twice a day and Spironolactone once a day the hormones were taken daily and a oestrogen implant was arranged for the next month to be implanted by the surgeon she would refer me to.
When I told her about the girls making me have periods she thought this an excellent idea though somewhat unconventional. Then she asked me when my 'period' was due I told her in about 3 weeks so she altered the hormone prescription to one I take twice a day for three weeks then for the week I don't take it at all!
By doing this I will experience some of the pain, bloating and discomfort a woman goes through for a week then I will get the implant and another hormone medication that will give me the monthly feeling of 'my period'!

As the session drew to a close she asked if I had any questions or concerns. I thought this was a good time to bring up my reluctance to go the whole way and have realignment surgery.
I said, "Its really strange Jill I want to look sound and be Susanna! I want to live my life as Susanna but for some reason I don't want to complete the process and be a whole woman and I know I should ------ why is this, what's wrong with me" as I finished some tears started to flow.

Very calmly she talked me around this and I calmed down she explained it was not unusual but we would work around it over the coming months.
She then referred me to the surgeon (who was on our shortlist of two) and after phoning him made me an appointment for the coming Friday morning she also made me a second appointment with her for next month and with that my first session was over.

As I left I felt really at ease. I now had someone else I could talk through my concerns and worries which should take a load off my friends I had Jill's card and she said that I should phone her if I felt that I needed her.

I went to the chemist to get my prescriptions and while I was waiting I bought a pack of maxi pads and some shampoo and conditioner, also some lipstick, nail varnish and facial wipes.
Across the road there was a jeweller so I went window shopping and ended up buying Kelly some hoop ear-rings and Shonali some drop ear rings and myself a selection of pendant, drop and hoop ear rings as my ears would soon be ready for a change from the studs I have in.

As I progressed down the high street heading for the bus stop, I bought some every day knickers then from Victoria's Secrets some special underwear and bras. I wandered through Marks and Spencer's and came out with two skirts and three tunic tops and some costume jewellery! By the time I got to the bus I was laden down.

I arrived at the pub apparently just after the crowd as they were still getting their drinks, Kelly giggled as I approached, "Looks like someone's got the shopping bug." I blushed and stammered, "Well I had time to kill before the bus arrived and… Well… you know? I just thought that I'd look and well things kinda got out of hand." "Susanna" Kelly laughed, “you don't have to explain to us, it happens to all of us, now come and tell us all what happened"

She got me a white wine spritzer and as my hands were full of shopping carried it over to a table after we had made ourselves comfortable I told them how the session had gone and how nice the councillor was and how glad she was female as it was easier to talk to a woman.
They both laughed when I told them about the three weeks of hormones then I would have the symptoms of a period and further laughed when I told them that after this I would get a hormone implant and take further hormone pills for three weeks every month, the fourth week not taking the pills would be my 'periods'. Shonali commented, "Well Susie you are certainly up for this - go girl".

I dug into my shopping bags and passed them the gift wrapped boxes they scolded me for buying them but I told them that they were the best friends I could have and I hoped these would in some way let them know how much I appreciated their friendship.
We had a group hug and promised to be friends forever (we were only young but we are still firm friends).

We finished our wine and got ready to leave, saying that tonight was hair washing night and we went home, cooked ourselves a light supper and I started on my hormones that night.
And then yes we washed out hair, I was shown how to 'properly wash and condition my hair' as Shona said to me, "None of that male wash and go now young lady from now on you do thing properly.”

So it was washing, conditioning and towel drying followed by the hair drier and styling. I was rubbish at the styling but I had two good teachers who soon had my hair looking as it should. Kelly commented, "Don't worry in a few weeks you'll get the hang of it" I however thought it might take more than the magic 'few weeks'.

We settled down to do some course work both Kelly and I were doing programming while Shona was majoring in graphic design and web site design but many of the principles overlapped and I for one found course work a lot easier when there were three of us working at it we could discuss things between us.
The week went on and University was a dream, it was like Stephen had never existed, I was Susanna! Slowly I received responses from all the places I had informed about my name change. When the last one arrived I was in the eyes of officialdom Miss Susanna Emma Johnson – I had arrived! I was so thrilled.

Friday, and my appointment with the surgeon had arrived again with some trepidation I went into the city centre and arrived for my 11:30 appointment.
I gave my name to the receptionist – Susanna Johnson the first time I had given my new name since it became official!
As I sat there my name was called and I went into the consulting room. The surgeon was in his middle forties slender and quite good looking we sat down and he reviewed the information he must have received from Dr. Harvey.

"Well Susanna, how exactly can I be of assistance to you?" His voice was melodic and matter of fact. I explained that I wanted to know exactly what could be done to help me achieve my goal he examined me closely I didn't have my breast forms attached but had breast forms in my bra. It was the same with my wee vee I had a cachet sex on. He did a full examination.
Then after I dressed he explained what was available as I was on hormones I should see how my breasts grow over the coming months. He must have seen how disappointed I was because he carried on by explaining that at this time there was no way of knowing how big my own breast would grow. So any implant at this stage could cause me to have larger breasts that would be desirable, as I ideally wanted a C cup!
He said that this was entirely possible naturally as the hormones I was on were strong in the future he would have an idea of my natural size and we could discuss implants then.

Facially he suggested a slight alteration to my nose to make it more feminine a shaving of my Adams Apple to make it less prominent and he went on to explain how the procedure would be carried out through an incision using the natural crease in my neck so any scarring would be invisible.

My hips and bum, again he told me to let the hormones do their work and he would evaluate my progress in a year. Should I decide of full re-alignment surgery there were no problems at all in giving me a realistic vagina which should in all probability reach orgasm like a natural woman we discussed this further and I made arrangements to undergo the nose and Adams Apple shave at the start of the Christmas Break from University.
I further made an appointment to have the hormone implant inserted in 3 weeks as Dr. Harvey had arranged.

As I got up to leave he shook me by the hand and commented, "The outcome Susanna will be good. As you are young enough and your bone structure is quite slight when completed you will make a very attractive girl".
As I walked out of his office I was walking on air so happy it was unbelievable! True I was disappointed about not being able to have my breast done now but it's only a year after all.

Of course I hit the shops looking for a dress for tonight as we were going clubbing my first time as Susanna. I wish I has Kelly and Shoni with me but they were at lectures so I was on my own.
I must have tried 20 dresses on but finally I settled on a halter necked very pale lilac dress in a satin polyester fabric tight over my bust line down to my hips then a flared skirt which had its own net underskirt.
Naturally I had to buy shoes and handbag so I chose cream 5" heeled ankle strap shoes with a 1" platform and a matching bag a pair of tan 15 denier tights and a cream shrug cardigan completed the look.
I was ready for the coming night, though I was a bit worried about meeting guys and maybe dancing with them or potentially going that one step further and being kissed by a man I was not sure how I would handle that but as with most things in my new life only time will tell.