I Ain't Gay Chapter 3
Copyright 2013 by Heather Rose Brown.

In this chapter, Tanner stumbles into an embarrassing situation, then gets conflicting signals from Mel and his uncle while having breakfast with them.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

As I walked into Uncle Barry's studio, a part of me was aware of the warm sunlight coming through the glass walls and ceiling, as well as the faint scent of green things growing all around me, but most of me was focused on Mel. I was trying to figure out how she made her backside wiggle so much in the tight denim shorts she was wearing when she stopped and turned.

I plowed right into her.

It took me a second to realize what the soft thing my cheek was leaning against as I tried getting my feet back under me. My whole face was on fire by the time I managed to pull away from her.

"I'm so sorry," I said as I stared at the tangled laces of her sneakers; it was the only part of her I had the nerve to look at. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

Mel pressed a couple of fingers under my chin, tilting my head up until I was looking into her sparkling, hazel eyes. "It's okay," she said. "Accidents happen." One side of her mouth curled up as she said in a softer voice, "If you don't mind me saying, I think you've got a cute butt too."

If it weren't for Mel's hand on my chin, I'm pretty sure my jaw would have fallen to the floor. I was used to girls calling me things like scrawny or weird. There'd even been a couple of girls who'd referred to me as faggy. Being called cute, even if it was just my butt, was a new experience.

While I was trying to cope with the idea of a girl thinking some part of me was cute, Uncle Barry came up to us and gave Mel a playful punch in the shoulder as he said, "Hope you haven't been teasing my nephew." He grinned as he added, " At least, not too much."

Mel's hand dropped. She looked between me and Uncle Barry as she said, "Nephew?"

My uncle took a step closer to me, then crouched down until we were shoulder to shoulder. "Sure," he said as he leaned his head against mine. "Can't you see the family resemblance?"

"No," she said as she stared at me. "I mean, yes. I just ..." The confusion in her expression fell away, and her eyes seemed to twinkle as she smiled at me.

Mel glanced away when there was a distant metallic thunk, then turned to Uncle Barry and said, "I mean, I can't wait to have one of your world famous toaster strudels."

Uncle Barry seemed to take the topic change in stride when he stood up, pressed the back of his hand against his forehead, and said, "Oh thweetheart, your flattery of my culinary thkills will be the death of me." Both he and Mel were laughing as they started walking away. My feet refused to move.

The way he had lisped sounded exactly like some of the kids at school when they teased me about being gay. I'd never heard him talk like that before, or act in any other way that gay guys were supposed to act. As I ran to catch up, I wondered if not acting gay was the way real gay people usually acted, and if that meant I wasn't gay because everybody seemed to think I acted like I was.

=-=-=

I mostly just listened to my uncle and Mel as I nibbled on my sweet, flaky breakfast, enjoying the hot, fruity filling hidden within. Part of my silence was because they were talking about clay prices, glaze quality, kiln temperatures, and other parts of my uncle's business I knew almost nothing about. Mostly it was because I had too many questions to ask my uncle, but they were the kinds of questions I needed to ask him in private.

Every once in a while, I'd notice Mel peeking at me, but she seemed more curious than anything. It was a nice change from the sneers or weirded out looks I usually got from girls.

When we were done eating, Mel offered to clear away the dishes. Once she had left the room, Uncle Barry said, "I think I should warn you, she's only into girls."

I frowned at him as I said, "What you talking about?"

"I saw the way you were looking at her when you first came into the studio, and the way you were trying to not watch her as she walked away just now."

"I was not," I said, feeling guilty about the lie as soon as it came out of my mouth.

Uncle Barry smiled and patted my arm as he said, "Hey, it's okay. You're thirteen now. There's nothing wrong with being interested in her. I just don't want you to be hurt by finding out too late that she's not into guys."

Even though I'd known about my uncle being gay for most of my life, this was the first time I'd known about someone close to my own age. All the questions I'd had earlier began swirling around my head again, then one big question floated above the others.

"How do you know if you're gay?"

"Well," Uncle Barry said as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, "there's an easy answer, and a not so easy answer to that question."

"What's the easy answer?"

"If you're a boy who's attracted to boys, or a girl who's attracted to girls, you're probably homosexual."

"Why do you say, 'probably'?"

"That would lead into the not so easy answer."

I squawked with surprise when I was poked in the ribs from behind, then Mel appeared beside me and said, "What answer you talking about?"

"Oh, nothing much," I said, feeling nice being a fraction of an inch from her, but awkward at the same time. Deciding it might be a good idea to make a quick exit so I could pull myself together, I said, "I ... ummm ... I better go change, or shower, or ... something."

Uncle Barry's nodded and said, "Okay hon." His mouth hung open for moment when he glanced at Mel, then closed when he looked back at me and said, "I'll be busy working on an order this morning, but you're welcome to help when you've changed, or just hang out. Maybe we can talk more afterwards."

My uncle smiled as he ruffled my hair, then strode across the room to a flight of cement steps. When he started going down the stairs, Mel elbowed my arm and said, "Don't take too long, or you'll miss out on all the fun," then gave me a goofy grin before chasing after him.

As I wandered out of the studio, I started thinking about the not so easy answer Uncle Barry mentioned. What else could there be to knowing if you're gay or straight?

After a few seconds, I realized I wasn't awake enough to make sense of the question, and decided to concentrate on something simpler ... like remembering where the bathroom was.