Coming Home 4

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Coming Home

Sydney Moya

© 2015

Synopsis

A man left his home town years ago as a teenager. Now he returns but is very different from the person who left years ago.



Part 4-Renewal

Belinda nodded, her eyes bright.

"You're a woman?"

“Yeah,” my sister answered.

Jack looked and I mean really looked at her from head to toe. It was hot so Belinda was wearing denim shorts and a floaty blouse. Neither left much to the imagination. I realised he was checking her out, I was about to tell him off when he spoke,

“How, “Jack said, “why?”

Belinda flicked the hair from her face. Part of me hated her for that while another marvelled at the practised ease with which she pulled off such feminine gestures.

“I wasn’t supposed to be a man Jack, I hated every minute of it. This was the only way I could be happy with my life. I love being a woman. I feel so free now. As for how it was through hormones and surgery,”

He stared at her, "Wow! Damn so this is why you left?"

My sister nodded, "Yeah, it was either this or suicide,” she said.

"Shit," Jack swore.

He then reached for Bel, "Come here," he said before giving her a hug, "you should have told me."

I wasn't going to begrudge them that. Jack was a big teddy bear sometimes. Thankfully he wasn't freaking out too. I didn't want to see Belinda get hurt especially after what she'd told me earlier.

"I had no idea how you'd take it," she murmured.

“I was your friend,” Jack countered.

“You were a jock and 17. Imagine how terrified I was of it getting out. Can you put yourself in my shoes? A teenage boy who desperately felt he was a girl inside and longed to be one on the outside. I couldn’t even tell my mom,” she answered as he held her.

“I guess you’re right,” said Jack slowly before letting go.

"I can't believe this," Jack said shaking his head, "you look really nice, I’d never have guessed." he added after letting go.

Belinda turned an interesting shade of pink, "Thanks," she said.

I made a mental note to ask him if he thought she was more attractive than I was. Oh the pitfalls of having a sister!

“When’d you get back?”

“Yesterday,” said Belinda, “look, if you’re not too busy why don’t you join us for lunch at home? Maybe we can catch up,”

Jack looked at me. I nodded.

“Yeah come along,” I said.

Belinda opened the car and sat in the passenger seat again.

“Sweet ride,” he said to my sister as he admired her car.

“Thanks,” my sister replied.

“I’d love to take a spin but I brought my car so I’ll just follow you,” Jack remarked.

We nodded. I started the car and I pulled out of the parking lot.

“You okay,” I asked my sister.

She nodded her head, “Yeah. So you and Jack,” Belinda said, it was a statement but one clearly meant as a question.

“We’ve been going out for a year,” I explained.

She looked at me, “I never would have seen that coming,” Belinda said.

“What do you mean?” I asked, hoping she wasn’t passing judgement on me.

My sister was obviously a woman. She saw right through me whereas a guy would have just ploughed on regardless.

Belinda put her hand up, “Chill sis. I don’t mean anything by that,” she added.

I looked her in the eyes and I saw nothing but concern and love in them.

“When I left you were thirteen and I would have beaten Jack for even looking at you. Now you’re driving my car and dating him. It’s a lot to take in,” Belinda told me.

“When you left you were my brother and now you’re a yummy mummy,” I countered, “people change. I grew up sis,” I gently told her.

She sighed and turned to look out of the window.

I placed my hand on hers. She took it and squeezed it.

We arrived home a quarter of an hour later. Jack was only minutes behind us.

“Mom we’re back,” I announced as we walked into the house.

We found our mother reading a storybook to Bonnie who sat there listening an enraptured look on her cute face. We both smiled at the sight of them. The doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” I offered, “its Jack,” I added for our mother’s benefit.

“Jack,” said Mum with a raised eyebrow before looking at Belinda.

“I invited him, we met and talked a bit at the mall,” my sister responded.

“Really,” said Mum looking interested.

She looked like she wanted to say something but then thought better of it.

I opened the door and Jack walked in, “Hi Mrs Masters,” said Jack to our mother.

“Hello Jack,” said Mum, “How are you?”

“I’m fine thanks,” Jack remarked politely.

His politeness was one of the reasons why Mum had always liked him. She’d known him since he was thirteen when Belinda had become his friend.

"Babysitting?" He said on noticing Bonnie, "Hi honey," he said waving at her.

Mum smiled, "Yes," she replied, "say hello honey," she told Bonnie.

Bonnie lifted her hands, waving them about while she laughed.

I smiled and briefly wondered what it was about Jack and the girls in our family.

Belinda grabbed some Cokes, "Mom could Jack please stay over for lunch?"

"Of course," responded Mum.

The three of us left the kitchen for the deck outside the house.

"So who is your Mom babysitting for?" Jack asked me.

"That's my daughter Bonnie," said Bel.

"That's your kid?" Jack asked, clearly astonished.

Belinda nodded.

"Wow, adopted?"

"No, she's mine," said Belinda.

"I thought you had surgery and all that?" Jack said looking confused.

"I did but I knew I wanted kids one day so I had my sperm frozen before I transitioned," Belinda explained, "I had a surrogate mother," she explained.

"Oh," was all Jack could say. He looked staggered.

It led to a bit of an awkward moment until Belinda piped up.

"So man what happened to the bro code of not dating friends sisters?" Belinda queried, a naughty grin on her face.

"Belinda!" I exclaimed.

Jack smiled, "You're not exactly a bro so I think its null and void," he observed.

Bel just smiled at him.

"How'd you guys hook up anyway?"

"Believe it or not we met at Sherry’s about a year ago,” I said.

"Sherry's is still open?" Belinda asked, "and both of you still go there?"

Jack and I laughed. Sherry's was an infamous diner frequented by the teen crowd. It was straight out of the sixties and had survived the onslaught of MacDonald's and the other fast food brands.

"Hey don't knock the joint. They make great burgers,"Jack said.

Belinda just smiled.

"I drop by there when I need my burger fix and I bumped into Jack there," I explained.

"I was stunned to see her. I think it had been five years since I'd last seen her," Jack said.

"We just started talking and one thing led to another," I told Bel.

I reached for Jack's hand and squeezed it.

"Aw. That's so cute," Bel remarked at the sight of us.

She sounded genuinely happy for us and fool that I was I'd been worried she'd be upset about our relationship. Luckily Belinda wasn't that kind of sister.

"So what's it like being a woman?" Jack asked.

He looked genuinely interested in Bel's answer.

My sister sat deep in thought, "It's so different to being a guy and yet a lot hasn't changed. Physically there's the obvious things like being weaker. I feel less safe than I did when I lived as a boy especially at night. I love the way my body feels and looks, the soft skin, my boobs and hips and not having a dick. It's a relief though I know you don't think so," she said as Jack grimaced.

I looked at her and she smiled. I imagined waking up male and felt uncomfortable. She'd had to live most of her life feeling worse than that.

"I like the clothes women get to wear. The looks I can put together. Skirts and dresses are amazing.Honestly guys have no idea what their missing. They can be a hassle though and bra's and heels are sometimes necessary evils. I do hate the social pressure being a woman brings. You have to look perfect at all times or you're letting yourself go. I don't like being seen as an object or being leered at. People tend not to take me as seriously as they would a man. It's like my opinions matter less. However as a woman I'm free to express my emotions, cry if I have to and no one will think I'm weak. I'll be excused because I'm a girl whereas as a boy I was expected to man up and be stoic which was very distressing. I think its part of the reason I couldn't get help when I was younger. Men have to be strong and in control and I had to live up to that. I find that society doesn't appreciate women like this. I see women turned down for exhibiting the same traits all the time which is very unfair. Still I honestly think I am better off now and nothing beats being a mom. The connection I have with Bonnie is incredible," Bel explained before sighing.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Now that I have Bonnie I wish I'd been open with Mom," she said the regret in her tone clear, "I can't imagine how much they must have hurt."

I wrapped my arm around her.

"At least you're home now. I know their happy about that," I reassured her.

***

Camille Masters, Belinda and Megan’s mother.

"I was quite surprised when the girls returned from their shopping trip with Jack in tow. That boy was Des’s best friend for years and now is Meg’s boyfriend. He doesn’t seem to mind what his old friend looks like which is good. I don’t want Meg to have to choose between him and Des. Still I wasn’t expecting them to tell someone about Des’ return which made me realise that people were going to find out that Des was quite different now. I can foresee problems with certain people not least of all in my family.

Des had left home at 18 after graduating high school.

That final year in high school had been a difficult one for us. Des seemed uninterested in planning for college or getting a job. Indeed he seemed restless and in retrospect I am not surprised he left after the year ended. I’m stunned I didn’t see this coming. As a child Des had been quite a sweet boy with a lovely disposition. I don’t remember him acting effeminate as a child but he was really close to his sister and she followed him everywhere. They were so cute together. He'd changed as he entered his teens becoming emotionally distant though not from Meg. I'd ascribed it to growing up thinking it was typical of kids to grow less attached to their parents with time. Tom and I always tried to let him know he was loved but we also didn’t want to be too clingy so we did give him space when he needed it. I never would have guessed it was because he was struggling with his gender identity. I never saw this part of him at all.

Nothing can explain the confusion and horror I felt when that beautiful girl claimed she was Des. I was so shocked. Tom was just as upset. I didn’t want to believe it but deep down I knew it was Des. A mother always knows you see. When she turned around to leave, I instinctively ran after her. I wasn’t going to lose my child again.

Megan fainting was another twist to what was developing into a day I would never forget. Luckily her father caught her and prevented her from getting hurt thank goodness. Tom picked her up and laid on her on the couch, she came to after a few moments. When she woke up she stared at her sibling before approaching her and giving her a hug. Both of them were crying and happy to see each other. It’s like they’d always been sisters. She doesn’t seem to have a problem with Des being a girl. I have to say she made Des feel more at home than Tom and I did.

I still get a bit startled whenever I hear her singsong alto calling for me. I hope it doesn't show though because I don't want to drive her away or make her feel awkward. My heart broke when she told us that she’d tried to end her life. I felt like I’d failed my baby.

I really don't know what to feel about Des becoming a woman. She says it saved her life. I can’t argue with that as I could sense the pain as she talked about how miserable she’d been as a boy. She's so beautiful; she looks like her aunt Sandy, Tom's sister did at that age. She carries herself well and is so convincing at it that I have to accept this is inborn. Maybe my little boy had never been my little boy but a daughter I didn't know I had. The thought of this cuts me up, especially when I think of the pain that drove her to try and end her life.

As it is she's changed a lot from the child I knew and while I'm overjoyed she's back and we know she's okay it's difficult. I don't know how to relate to my adult child, she’s changed in more ways than one. When I last saw her she was still a child. Ten years have passed and she's made her way in the world without my guidance and has a child too. I don't know what has shaped her into the person she is today. Part of me misses my son but I feel terrible about what she went through and that she was so afraid of my reaction that she'd went through such a drastic change alone.

Bonnie was a lovely surprise. She is a perfect little angel and there’s so much of my child in her. I’m a grandmother and I’m so pleased about that. I love this girl more than I can say and Belinda rightly looks happiest around her. With Bonnie she wears a look I was very familiar with as I'd seen it in the mirror as a young mother. I was pleased my child had found the joy of parenthood even if it was by unconventional means. Watching her with Bonnie made me even less certain if Des had ever been a man emotionally. She breastfed Bonnie like it was the most natural thing in the world. She was so comfortable in the role of a mother. My hackles ought to be raised but she looks so natural as a woman and mother. She dresses tastefully and doesn't flaunt her body. Everything I've seen so far indicates she carries herself as a lady and I can't help but be proud of this. I am a bit of a social conservative who believes in the family as the heart of society. I don't pretend to understand why someone would want to be the opposite sex and go through the surgery to achieve that but I assume it’s a symptom of a deluded mind but Des doesn't strike me as deluded. She seems a perfectly sane person and a sensible young lady. Now that I know how much pain she was in I can't regret her decision to change her lot in life. She's my child and if she's happy this way and harming nobody I guess I can live with it.

I would love to sit down and get to know her. I’ve missed her so much and I want to hear all about her life up to today."

To be continued

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Comments

Developing Nicely

littlerocksilver's picture

There is so much background to learn. Bel must have been doing many things right.

Portia

She was

But she probably has some regrets and unresolved issues. Thanks for your comment.

Sydney M

Mom SHOULD

Renee_Heart2's picture

Sit down with her new daughter & have a heart to heart talk with her. Just Belinda mom & Meg. As Meg can confirm what Bell told her.

Look forward to the next exciting chapter.

Love Samantha Renee Heart

Mom SHOULD

Renee_Heart2's picture

Sit down with her new daughter & have a heart to heart talk with her. Just Belinda mom & Meg. As Meg can confirm what Bell told her.

Look forward to the next exciting chapter.

Love Samantha Renee Heart

She should

Talk to her but people seldom do the obvious thing...
Thanks for your interest.

Sydney Moya

Nice chapter

Jamie Lee's picture

Another well written chapter. Nice to get an insight to how mom feels about everything that's happened.

Will be looking forward to the next chapter.

Others have feelings too.

Thanks

I'm glad you like this. I'm enjoying writing this!

Sydney Moya

Confusing.

Transition only changed my appearance, not my beliefs. Thankfully she did it before her body was, too far gone. Yes it is possible for one of us to breastfeed but the volume must usually be supplemented, as with some genetic women. It is much more common in India.

I think that acceptance by family can make all the difference and few of us have that. Hopefully that will change.

Nice story.

Gwen

Hey Mom, so do we all want to

Hey Mom, so do we all want to hear about Belinda's life up to date. Should indeed be a fascinating story.

I sure hope so

Bel has definitely had an interesting life. More of it soon.

Sydney Moya

Brilliant! Telling this story

Brilliant! Telling this story from 4 points of view. This story will end as so many wish it could for them.

Karen

Thanks

I dunno why its working out