I really should have known what a mistake it was to try to drown my sorrows after being dumped (again). And this time I had made such efforts to make it work.

I really shouldn’t have let Rolf take me to a bar to seek oblivion in the bottom of a glass, or more precisely lots of glasses.

We really shouldn’t have tried to chat up those two freshman girls from The Other University and thus by definition losers.

The only good thing was that Rolf had chosen a bar where we were unknown and unlikely to meet anyone we knew nor ever to return.

Rolf really had been named Rowlf. His parents were great Muppet Show fans. Don’t ever remind Rolf about his real name! We studied at the same university but in different schools. Rolf was a mechanical engineering student while I was into political science. We didn’t live in the same dorm. Actually we lived across campus from each other. Our social circles were different. Rolf led a mostly sedate social life with the girlfriend he had met the first month here and a close group of likeminded boring couples. I was heavily into student politics.

So, by now you probably wonder why Rolf had cancelled a date and brought me to that unfortunate place in search of alcohol-induced amnesia. Well, we came from the same small town and we had become very good friends in my last year in High School. I had already been at the University for a year when Rolf arrived and had helped him to get settled at the university.

So, what about the girls? To be brutally frank they were hicks that tried to act like sophisticated young college students. They overcompensated in a major way. That really shouldn’t have been a problem if a) they hadn’t been rather haughty and obnoxious and b) if Rolf by nature hadn’t been an arrogant brat. To be fair to Rolf that part of his nature only emerges when he is drunk. Nowadays he’s otherwise a very pleasant fellow. But when he’s drunk his inhibitions melt away. That was one reason this whole binge-drinking had been such a bad idea.

I really wish that Rolf hadn’t started to point out all the errors of their ways, dress and how to move to the two girls. They had overdone their make-up, they couldn’t handle their short skirts, they had no idea how to walk in those 4” shoes …. Amazingly, they didn’t appreciate his constructive criticism! After a while they challenged Rolf to do it better himself. They dared him with a bet. Oh NO! Not a bet! I had hoped that Rolf should have learned something and stopped being a sucker for bets. Nope. Rolf was just drunk enough to accept and just sober enough to go through with it. The idiot!

One of the girls had been bright enough to have more sensible shoes and skirt to go home in so she changed into that and handed the other stuff to Rolf. No extra pantyhose though but since Rolf has so ridiculously small feet he needed his socks to fill out the shoes anyway. She also handed him her make-up set and dared him to change, put on make-up and then he’d see how easy it was! No way he’d be even close to what the girls were!

Rolf went away, staggering only slightly. I was stuck with the two girls. They started trashing Rolf in every way imaginable and then some. They were really nasty. Quite vischious, sorry vicious. Talk about bitches!

I couldn’t help myself and smiled. Bad mistake! Now they attacked me and I almost expected them to get physical when Rolf came back. I was not disappointed by the girls’ reaction.

Lacking the necessary physical attributes not only in body but also in face, when it came to girlish beauty, Rowlf had always been a dog. However, he had learnt to be a CLASSY dog as opposed to the two bitches! We could see him moving towards us with elegant ease on those ridiculously high heels. The make-up was understated and expertly applied. It enhanced what little there was to enhance. When he came to our table he politely asked me to introduce me to my “friends”. I did introduce the gaping girls. With impeccable politeness Ruth (Yes, she was back!) dismissed them and then she went to the bar and without any display of underwear, despite the minimal skirt, perched on one of the stools where she proceeded to captivate the bartender.

The bitches started to pour abuse over him, eh her. At that point she asked the bartender who was the better girl. The bartender laughed and without any doubt gave the victory to Ruth. She asked the bitches to pay up. They refused and instead started to attack Ruth physically as well as verbally. The bartender did not appreciate that. Neither did the bouncer when called. I suspect that Ruth didn’t mind the attacks that much but she must have been deeply offended by their refusal to pay up. You see, Rolf/Ruth takes bets extremely seriously. That’s why he’d spent his junior year in high school as a girl.

As I’ve mentioned earlier the young Rolf was an obnoxious brat. He was part of a small group of equally obnoxious brats. His friends were just a little bit more street-smart than Rolf and avoided irritating those in power too much. Rolf was an equal opportunity obnoxious brat which had gained him a surprising amount of ill-will in wide circles, including teachers. He and his friends had also a bad habit of making bets with silly forfeits. That is until the BET. Exactly what is was about is irrelevant but the forfeit became widely known before the bet was settled. The loser had to spend a school year as a girl. Rolf lost. For a while it looked like Rolf had intended to welch. If he ever had such an intention, which I personally doubt, the reaction of his parents, his friends, the teachers, the student body … made that impossible.

The first day of Rolf’s junior year Ruth arrived in school. Her mother had got her suitable skirts, dresses etc etc. She’d even enrolled Ruth in ballet class. The idea was that would help her girlish demeanor. I’m not sure it works that way but anyway.

As soon as I had heard about “Ruth” I had realized it was a BAD idea. I had been elected to student council president on an anti-bullying platform. I realized that this whole thing was an invitation to bully Ruth. Not that Rolf didn’t deserve it but it could so easily spread and destroy all my efforts to stop bullying. I had pleaded with the Principal. She had refused. She thought it would be a “learning experience” for Rolf. Besides, she had no way of stopping Ruth to dress as she liked. And if Ruth’s parents had asked her to participate in girls’ PE and to take some classes that very few boys ever took? Well, the Principal saw no reason or rule to stop that. Of course Ruth/Rolf still had to use the boys’ locker room and bathrooms. After all, the legal sex was still Male. The Principal couldn’t really stop herself from smiling. I couldn’t make her see her mistake.

As I had expected the teasing and bullying started on day one. Her “friends” stood by her for ONE day. Then they rapidly distanced themselves to avoid being tarred as “gays”. By the second week they were as bad or worse as anyone else. I tried to stop things whenever I saw them but I couldn’t spend time to guard her. A few of the other student council members also attempted to stop the bullying. It was like swimming a strong rapid in the wrong direction. The situation was all too tempting for people to stop. It didn’t help that the teachers didn’t understand how serious it all was. Some condoned and a few even participated!

I thought the Principal would have realized the error of her ways when they started beating Ruth. Not that bad to begin with and I suspect it was never officially reported but occasionally I could see that Ruth was in noticeable pain. The locker room was the worst. Coming from Girls’ PE in her leotard she was an open invitation even if she didn’t shower. Finally Coach started to be present in the locker room when Ruth was there. Coach was the only member of the faculty that understood how serious the business was from the beginning. He also understood how bad the “contagion” could be.

After seeing Ruth sitting alone in the cafeteria for weeks I persuaded my sister Em who was in many of the same classes as Ruth to at least sometimes invite Ruth to have lunch with her. OK, I bribed Em. It was quite expensive in terms of chores. My sister is NOT cheap which her first boyfriend quickly discovered. However, she is good value for money which her second boyfriend appreciated.

Em and her gang started inviting Ruth to have lunch with them. Slowly there occasionally appeared a smile on her face. My chats with teachers also indicated that Ruth’s academic results had started to improve. That wasn’t surprising given that she had nothing else to do. No friends and among juniors and seniors almost all social activities were geared towards couples. Then Ruth got a date!

As it turned out the date was a fake. She was lured to a place where they humiliated her. They beat her, bad. Mercifully they didn’t rape her.

Em really tore into me. If I was so concerned about Ruth why had I only got others to do anything? Pulled strings, bribed her. Why hadn’t I done anything directly myself? Was I too prejudiced to have asked Ruth out myself? Was I too much of a coward to demean myself by asking a JUNIOR out? Was I too scared to lose status? I didn’t like what she said. I was quite angry at her. Then I became even angrier at myself since Em was quite right. It should have been me who had asked her out. Not that I felt anything for her but that would have helped her in so many ways.

One good thing came out of the whole business. The Principal and faculty finally realized that there was a problem. The parents finally understood the hell Ruth had gone through. The “friends” who Ruth had made the bet with released her. Everyone agreed that the whole stupid thing had to end. There was only one problem: Ruth refused.

When she came back I sat down and had a long talk with her. She made it clear to me that she had already lost everything. Did I think that she’d get back her friends? Even if they wanted it SHE definitely didn’t. She’d still be the old laughingstock. After a week she’d be teased for being a girly boy. She had nothing left to lose – except her integrity. She had entered into the bet. Sure, it was stupid but she had. And above all else she was not a QUITTER. There was nothing I could do but to ask her out Friday night.

I became her usual date. Actually it suited me perfectly. This way I could participate in the social life without any serious commitment. No love affair left me time to my studies. I wanted to get into this prestigious university and seriously needed slightly better grades. Besides I discovered that Ruth was quite pleasant company. When not being obnoxious or bullied she was more intelligent and fun than I had expected. Ruth had developed quite an impressive study ethic that I benefited from. Many of our “dates” was spent studying. No way she’d let me slack!

I think she liked spending time with me as well. Otherwise her only source of joy had been ballet. Not for the reason her mother had sent her there. Certainly not for the taunts of her being a girly ballerina in pink tights. No, she appreciated the challenge to learn all the demanding movements combined with music and artistry. Don’t ask me how but in the Spring I found myself taking classes as well. Not nearly as seriously as Ruth but I did understand what she felt. Too bad I hadn’t more time.

Her perseverance also earned her a certain amount of respect in school. Em and her gang took her firmly under their wings. After a while I very seldom had lunch with Ruth. Em & co demanded her attendance. They also pushed the school to allow Ruth to use the same locker room as Em and her friends. Anyone that didn’t approve could use the other girls’ locker room. Em and her friends also gave Ruth the full 101 in being a girl including fashion, make-up and so on. As I said Ruth sure wasn’t pretty as a girl but she learned how to BE a girl. Only problem was she kept having a bit of boyish body language, especially when walking.

Ruth set her mind to become a cheerleader. There were extra tryouts in January to replace senior girls dropping out to devote themselves to final exams. Cheerleading wasn’t exactly Em’s thing but as a good friend she helped Ruth prepare. The day of the tryouts came. Ruth did a respectable performance. Unfortunately it wasn’t enough. That was the ONLY time I saw Ruth cry. No one else ever did. She had disappeared into the supply room and I followed her. I had thought she had wanted to join the cheerleading squad because of the social status. I was wrong. I had judged her after myself. Ruth had wanted to be a cheerleader for the dancing, the camaraderie and, surprisingly given the past semester, to spread joy. She cried bitterly for fifteen minutes. After that she never mentioned the matter again.

Spring wasn’t bad at all. Bullying that had started to get endemic had been stopped. Well, severely curtailed at least. That made me happy. The fact that Ruth became more and more happy also made me happy. She’d had enough of a bad time. Her hard work had impressed the teachers. She was a valued member of Em’s gang. Her ballet recital went off quite well. I was in the audience and I may be a bit biased but in my opinion she quite outshone the other first year dancers.

Ruth was my date for my prom. Her gown was marvelous. By then she had developed quite a refined sence of fashion. I have very good memories from that night.

The last time I had seen Ruth before that unfortunate drunk night at university was on my graduation day. The last day of the school year. Ruth was there. She wore a very pretty dress. She had become so proficient in girliness that she was almost pretty. She was very happy for me. I had earned the grades that opened the doors to the education I wanted. She gave me a congratulatory kiss on my cheek. The one and only kiss over the whole discombobulating year.

The day after Rolf was back. A much nicer Rolf.

I left for university but I was kept updated by Em. The boy Rolf didn’t make much of a splash. He kept studying seriously. Too bad he had had such a weak basis from wasting his first two years in high school. While quite good in Math and Physics he struggled in some other subjects. He kept having lunch with Em and the gang. He never dated. Em explained that she and the gang originally had learnt to know the girl Ruth and she had become like a sister to them. From their point of view it was Ruth that had transitioned to a boy. You don’t date your transgender brother, do you?

All in all Rolf appeared to have had a decent senior year. He kept dancing ballet, only now he used more opaque black tights instead of the pink. I was there for his recital. I was quite impressed. The boy dancer was even more striking than the girl. Admittedly he had progressed by another year.

Rolf applied to the same university as I. He didn’t really expect to be admitted though. His SAT results were just below what he needed. A number of testimonials from the Principal and many other teachers as well as the student council president from Rolf’s “girl” year stressed his unusual integrity and so on. Well, the Principal and the teachers damned well owed that to him (as I pointed out to her more than a couple of times). I also called in what small favors a budding university student body politician could have. Rolf got accepted and the rest is history. I already told you that we kept up our friendship at university.

So, to return to that really stupid night, that I sincerely wish never happened, I watched Ruth (no way that was Rolf) sashaying back to the men’s room to change back. I watched her walk effortlessly. Perhaps due to the alcohol she walked with a grace I’d never seen before. I curse that moment that reminded me of the worst mistake that I had made while a high school student, without doubt the worst ever in my life.

Why had I had to fall in love with a girl that never really existed?

I had always known that life could be tough. I had not expected that it would be Ruth-less.