When you live in a town as small as Benton, your choices of entertainment are very limited, the more popular choices include the skating rink, the local movie theater, or if you were sixteen or older you could attend a popular teenage dance club that had just opened last spring in the countryside called “The Mill”. Most of those only opened once the sun had set. And most of those catered to the popular kids, or kids who had could get a ride or owned their own set of wheels.

I myself did not own my own set of wheels. I take that back, I had been gifted a bike a few months ago as a late birthday gift. And if pressed I could ride the towns trolley that made hourly loops around town. So I was very limited in what I could do, also I did not have a job and summer work was limited to farm work, and no farmer in their right state of mind would hire me as a field hand. So my income was limited to the thirty dollars a week my folks had deemed fit to give me for doing a huge number of odd jobs around the house. And while that might seem like a king's ransom to some, it was really not a lot. Maybe enough to see one movie on a Saturday Night.

Anyway with that in mind. I had chosen to make our local library my retreat from home and life. The Library was huge too, it had once been a stately manor house that had once belonged to one of the leading families of Benton. If I can recall correctly it once belonged to the first mayor of Benton, a gentleman by the name of William Joseph Potter and during the American Civil War it had served as the headquarters for the Confederate General Albert Sidney Johnstone who had commanded the defense of Benton during the Battle of Benton. It was also rumored to be haunted by the ghost of a librarian that wondered the rows of books late in the evening. According to legend she was often spotted caring a enchanted box that she used to trap the voices of children who raised too much fuss. And more recently teenagers who texted or talked to loud on their cellphones.

The library itself was located on main street, it sat right across the the towns Post Office and Sunflower Food Store. Beside it one would find Main Street Elementary School. A bit further down the street one would find St. Mary's Episcopal Church and a bit further down All Saint's Roman Catholic Church.

So in short, here among the books and where the voices of long dead authors still echoed into the ear of the living I decided to shake shelter from the trials and tribulations of a often confusing and chaotic world. It was also air conditioned and proved a place to relax when the sun was at its zenith and the heat wilted the day lilies. It was one such afternoon, when summer at reached its zenith and the strong midday sun caused all to retreat in doors or seek the shelter of the shade tree. That I, a new comer to Benton, having only lived in the township for a month and half found myself browsing the young adult section.

Now, at the time I was something on R. L Stine reading binge. A recent weekend overnight stay at the local hospital because of a bad case of pneumonia had gotten me hooked on his works. I quickly found myself falling head over heels in love with his down to earth style and the fact that each chapter of his books always seem to end on a cliff hanger really kept me glued to the edge of my hospital bed. Its safe to say when the doctor had signed my discharge papers, I was hooked and I could not get enough of them. Thankfully, the local library had vast collection of Goosebumps and Fear Street books to choose from.

I can remember, I had my arms full of books, All of those where choice vintage Fear Street novels. I loved the Fear Street novels above all his works. Mostly because I could see a little Shadyside, the fictional town the books were set in, in my new hometown of Benton.

As I neared the main desk, I felt a sudden blush come over me. Somebody had cracked a window in hopes of luring in a late afternoon breeze. I don't see why, the building was cool enough. Anyway a breeze had brown in, I watched it travel across the desk, picking up speed as it went. That wind then blew around my legs and caused the light cotton skirt I was wearing to get picked up a bit. Blushing I dropped the three books I was holding as I forced the cotton skirt down. I was still getting use to wearing a skirt. And my outfit for that day was a simple, blue cotton skirt and pink hoodie.

I felt my cheeks fill with color as all eyes turned toward me. The crashing sound of the books must have broken the scholarly silence that filled the room. An older brunette sitting behind the desk just blinked at me. She wore her shoulder length brunette hair pulled back in a tight bun. She wore a cream colored blouse and black pencil skirt. She projected the air of a older teenager who had it all together. A platinum colored name badge that was pinned just above her breast pocket read “Madeline”.

“Need some help?” She asked as she stood up from her chair and peered at me.

“I'm fine!” I said a little louder than I should. What can I say, I was very embarrassed. The older teen blinked and blinked again and for a moment she peered at me. Finally after a long moment of silence she said.

“Don't raise your voice. You never know when she might around.”

“She?” I asked as I stood up and placed my books down upon the desk.

“The ghost, you know the library haunted right?” She said in a teasing tone of voice. “Don't want her to steal your voice do you?” She added as she reached over and started stamp the three books I had selected.

Once more I felt my cheeks starting to flush with color. I was sure she was teasing me. Or just messing with me, I mean, I remember the nurses at the hospital talked about a ghost nurse that was suppose to roam the hallways at night But I never saw her, I did get into a spot of trouble with a nurse named Mindy who gave me a scolding and a spanking for being out of bed. But.. that was a story for another time.

Anyway, as Madeline looked over my books, my eyes started to wonder and then out of the corner of eye something caught my attention. Now as you first walk into the library your going to walk through a narrow hallway. On the left hand side of this walkway your going to a see a board. The board is kind of a community board, pinned to this board were a number of grocery circulars, a few pamphlet's and a odd number of handbills. Once such handbill caught my attention.

The title was in big bold letters that spelled out the words “Volunteer Wanted for 'Dotty The Dalmatian Princess' Fundraiser” and the words below that read. “The Dotty Shelter, Benton's only no kill animal shelter is looking for a brave boy or girl to play the popular PBS cartoon character Dotty, from the very popular Saturday Morning cartoon of the same name. Volunteers must be fourteen years of age or older. If Interested please see the front desk.” And finally a very cartoonish image of a Dalmatian puppy wearing a pink collar was pictured at the bottom of the flier.

I don't know what came over me, but I remember taking a deep breath. Slowly I walked over to the flier and without thinking I removed the pins that were holding it in place. Then without thinking, I turned upon my heel and walked toward the front desk.
At that moment I became tongue tied, I could only place the piece of paper down upon the desk. Madeline once more blinked and blinked again as she peered at, I noticed her eyes then were the deepest shade of blue I've ever seen and they seemed to be peering into my soul.

“So you want to volunteer for that too?” She asked as she turned away from her computer screen and peered toward me. “Okay sure, I'll get your information once I've finished with this. One thing at a time honey, one thing at a time.” She said in a sweet, almost motherly tone of voice.

“Okay..” She said blinking. “Do you have a library card?” She asked.

I blinked and mentally scolded myself. How could I forget that, having just moved to Benton I'd not had the time to get one. It was on my list of things to do, it just kept getting bumped down. I forced myself to take a deep breath and in a low tone of voice I said.

“No ma'am.” I said blushing.

“Okay no problem.” Madeline said with a smile. “Here's what were going to do. I'm going to get this form for you to fill out.” She said smiling softy as she reached under the desk and pulled out a sheet of paper. She then placed an ink pen down upon the sheet. “You can stand here and fill this out. And” She paused again as she bent down and pulled out another sheet of paper. “You can fill this forum out. This forum is your volunteer permission form to play Dotty.” She said with a small smile. “Once you get those two things filled out. I'll check out your books and we'll be done.” She paused. “Easy, as one, two and three.”

I was starting to like Madeline she seemed like the cool kind of teenager. The one that often played the part as the cool big sister to the younger characters. She gave me another smile before she returned to her clerical duties. I tackled the permission form first. It was your basic stuff, you know, name, date of birth, phone number you had to include your cellphone and your house phone. I sailed through all that stuff, like I said it was pretty basic. But then I came to 'Gender' I blinked. I had been provided with two choices 'M' which I knew stood for male and 'F' that stood for female. I just skipped over that little section. I was not quite ready to tackle that.

For the next forum I needed to provided the same, only I needed to show some form of ID. Now I did have some form of ID as in state issued ID that was needed for me to enroll at Benton AG High School in the coming autumn. But I hated it. It was taken at a deep, dark period of my life. And I hated the way I looked in that photo that had been before I had finally talked my mom into letting me get my hair cut, styled and shaped in a more feminine style. My facial expressions too were bland and my eyes seemed dull. Almost void of life. And my outfit was just horrible, a baggy shirt and pair of oversize jeans. I'd been meaning to get another one made, but getting another state ID cost around twenty dollars. And Like I said, my weekly income was around thirty dollars, or one hundred and twenty dollars month. That might seem like a lot, but when your starting your life over its really not.

“Hey Madeline?” I asked as I pointed toward toward the area that asked for my Gender and ID.

“I have a question. Do I really need to tell you my gender. Its kind of a issue. You know. Thing are kind of in the works their.” I said trying to dance around the subject.

Without skipping a beat Madeline told me, and this took me back.

“Just circle the one that you think fits the best.” She said in a matter of fact tone of voice.

And so I did, I circled 'Female' for both forums and I handed them back to Madeline who did some typing on her computer. A few moments later she was handing me a small plastic card. A second later she handed over the three books I'd selected. “Okay your books are due back on the fourteenth of this month so you have fourteen days to read them. We charge a ten cent a day late fee for all overdue books. Books are to returned by noon the day their due.” She said in a very business tone of voice.

I nodded my head.

She then took out her phone. “Also the handbill failed to mention that we'll need you to Dotty this coming Saturday. I advise you to bring a spare set of clothes. As you will be getting a little messy, and to have at least one person over eighteen with you. Safety and health reasons.” She paused again.

“Also one last thing. Would you mind if I take your picture? I'm going to update the 'Dotty Fundraiser' group Facebook page. We have past volunteers pictures their. Kind of gives people a face and stuff. Really increases donations.” Madeline said with a smile as she reached into her skirt pocket and pulled out her phone.

I felt my cheeks starting to flush with color.

“Sure.” I said smiling softy. “Just let me do my face.” I said blushing.

“Sure, just don't take all day. Were closing early today. We have a repairman coming to check out a few things.”

I nodded my head. I'm not going to lie to you. I was a little anxious about getting my picture taken. I'm still not use to being a girl. But, I decided to put on a brave face. And so gathering up my courage, I pulled my purse around. That another thing I was getting use to, having to tote a purse around with me. My skirt, lacked pockets for some strange reason, as did most girls clothing. So I had come to depend upon my purse. I quickly found my whole life was contained within it. It held my wallet, my phone, my house keys, a notepad and a odd assortment of pens. It also held my makeup compact, a tube of lipstick and some other make-up items.

Also a change purse that always seemed to work its way to the bottom. I felt my cheeks starting to flush with color again as Madeline watched me dig through my purse. The look on her face was one of pure amusement.

“Getting use to caring a purse around?” She asked as she stepped out from behind the desk.

“Yes.” I said in a weak tone of voice. I had finally managed to dig everything out. Mom had given me a crash course applying make-up when I had come out of the closet just before going into the hospital.

“I know the feeling. Took me a while to get use to it as well. Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it sooner or later. Just like you'll get the hang of using make-up.” She added as she watched me touch up my face.

Once I had finished touching up my face, I returned everything to the confines of the purse.

“Okay I'm finished.” I said smiling.

“Wow that only took a hour and a half.” Madeline said joking. “Okay if you could, could you please stand over by the poster. You know the Dotty poster.” She commanded.

I nodded my head and stood were I was told too.

“Okay, now smile for the camera.” And a second later a bright flash filled the room. “Picture perfect! Also one more question. What your name?” She asked as she peered toward toward me.

I'd been bracing myself for that question. Legally my name was still Lawrence Alton Huntington, that the name that appeared on my birth certificate that was housed in the Mississippi sate department of Heath and that the name that appeared on my social and on my ID and in most of my school records. But mom had started to call me Lauren after she accepted that I might be a girl. And from time to time she would yell out Lauren Elizabeth Huntington! If I was in trouble.

“Lauren.” I said said, then I paused. “Lauren Elizabeth Huntington.” I quickly added.

“Pretty name.” Madeline. “Well Miss. Huntington I will see you this coming Saturday at the square. As know you are our lovely Dotty volunteer.” Madeline as she waved goodbye.

I waved goodbye too. I had a sudden craving for a extra large milkshake. I could really use one, the truth was starting to weigh down on me.

To be continued.