I took a deep breath as I tossed the heavy woolen blanket over the side of the bed. Releasing that breath I planted my feet firmly on the wooden floorboards of my bedroom. The moment I did though was the moment I felt a sudden coldness rush into me. The calendar on the bedroom wall said it was March. March the fourteenth.. skip three squares and you would find the seventeenth circled with a little note written into the square. The note read. “Birthday – Sweet Sixteen” and there I paused as I peered at the little pink circle.

I really had to pause for a moment, you see. You see, for the first fourteen years of my life. My birthday was just another day. Mom and dad always did something simple for me, you know a small home-made cake, a special dinner, normally I would be allowed to choose what we had for dinner that night and a few dollars from my aunts and uncles. All in all it was very low key. Of course, I was James then, I'm Jamie now.

But still, It felt odd that one birthday should stand out above the rest. To me, it was nothing more than another day, passing yet another milestone on that long, curving road to Golgotha. And given what I was, it seemed Golgotha always loomed just over the next hill or so. Maybe I'm just being dramatic. It's just I've been feeling a bit melancholy since Christmas.

I can't really pinpoint the cause of my sadness. I mean I have a great life, I have a loving mom and dad. Both seem to love and support me. They've accepted me as Jamie, have stood by me when life seemed to toss nothing but sticks and stones at me. And yes, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words often cut me like knives. Anyway, I had a loving older sister. I was a Cheerleader.. I got amazing grades, and a plentiful allowance. I was never in want for anything. Also I had an amazing boyfriend.

But yet all of this seemed hollow. I pondered all of this while I marched down the hallway, slipped passed my older sister who was standing in the doorway of her room, still half asleep, still dressed in her night dress. Her golden, blonde hair was sticking out in all directions and she had this zombie look on her face. She muttered something that sounded like 'Good Morning' but came out as a half gurgled avalanche of words.

I'm going to assume I responded, but I might have kept pushing past her. So lost was I in my own little swirling whirlwind of emotions. A few moments later, I felt human again after stepping out the shower. I'd just barely wrapped the towel around me when Lily came walking in. She kind of stumbled in. Like she still had one foot in dreamland and one foot in the real world. But then she paused, her baby blue eyes fixed me with a cold stare.

I paused and blinked. Finally after a few moments Lily peered back at me.

“Jamie..” She said, blinking. “Your breasts are almost as big as mine..” She said as she shifted her gaze toward my chest. “Like, a few months ago you were flat as a board.” She said in a flat tone of voice. One that was totally void of any feeling and emotion. “Now they're like.. they're big.. Jesus girl.. slow down a bit. Going to need a new bra before long.” She said as she pulled her nightdress over her head and tossed it to the side. She then slipped into the shower.

I was at a loss for words. And so I kind of tuned everything out as I walked back down the hallway. The savory smell of bacon frying filled the upstairs part of the house now. Along with the sweet, savory smell of coffee brewing and the frothy smell of grits being boiled. I also noticed something sweet. I guess mom had started baking some cinnamon rolls to go along with breakfast. Cinnamon rolls used to be a rare treat around our household. Till my sister and I started working.
Now we seem to have them every other day. I guess with two bakers in the family, fresh baked treats become pretty common. I only pondered this for a moment before I dipped into my room. I quickly closed the door behind me and once more I found myself going deep into thought.

My room these last twenty four months has been undergoing changes. It had gone from being the domain of being a brooding teenage boy who shunned the company of others to the retreat of a charming southern belle who seemed to delight in society now. The walls once painted a forest green were now a light, Lavender color. The old yellow and brown curtains had been torn down and thrown into the trash. For they were old, and the moths had eaten their fill of them. Now, newer curtains in a pastel pink shade blocked out the sun.

The wooden floors were still wooden, only this time they were swept and mopped daily. A more modern desk had replaced the wooden one that I'd been using for most of my life. My bed was still the same old bed.. but the covers and sheets were pink as were the pillow slips. And the whole room smelled of fresh cut flowers instead of old socks, and dirty underwear. When I was a boy my room was always 'Musty' as my mom put it.

I once more pushed those thoughts out of mind as I dropped the towel and walked over to the dresser, without giving it much thought I pulled out a white silken bra, and a matching pair of panties. I slipped on the panties and fastened the bra around my chest. I'd noticed a bit of tightness and a tad bit of discomfort each time I put on one of my bras, maybe Lily was right. Maybe it was time to buy some more.

Once that was done, I walked over to my closet, slipped on a white blouse and a red and black flannel skirt. Black tights were added for warmth and finally some brown slip on dress shoes. And finally a red hoodie with the letters BA monogrammed in golden thread on the front. Today was the last day of school before the Spring Break and as always a sudden cold front has pushed into our area. We call these cold fronts Spring Snaps. And you can always count on them, they mean a few days of freezing rain, biting wind and even a bit of snow. They always herald the coming of true Spring in the Southern States.

Anyway, dressed I started to do my hair. And for a moment I wondered what my life would hold in the coming days, months and even years. My Sophomore year of high school was halfway over. Next year was my Junior year, and then my Senior year. Then onto college to earn my degree and then onto starting a career.

And somewhere between all of that, I had to learn how to drive a car, keep my grades up enough to get a full scholarship and then somehow manage to keep Ben happy so we could one day get married and start a family. It was just so much to take in, I felt like I was standing in the shadow of a very tall mountain. Becoming Jamie had been one thing. Living the rest of my life as Jamie was another thing altogether.

“JAMIE SARAH POTTER!” My mom shouted at the top of her lungs. “YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE YOUNG LADY. COME DOWN THIS INSTANT AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST BEFORE IT GETS COLD. THE TROLLY WILL SOON BE HERE AND IF I HAVE TO DRIVE YOU TO SCHOOL BECAUSE YOU MISSED IT. I WILL NOT BE PLEASED.” She bellowed at the top of her lungs. Her voice echoed from the kitchen, up the stairwell and somehow managed to enter my room. The sound of mom's voice yelling my full name snapped me out of my daydreaming.

One quick glance at the digital clock at my bedside told me that time was indeed slipping through my hands. I quickly brushed my hair, and pulled it back in a high ponytail. And with that it bounded down the stairwell. Maybe one day with any luck, I'll be the one sitting in a kitchen, having gotten up before the crack of dawn to cook a good breakfast for my two kids. And with any luck I could stand at the bottom of the stairs and shout their full names at the top of my lungs to get them into gear.

Oh the simple joys of motherhood.

A moment later I found myself leaping into the kitchen. Sitting at the table was of course my older sister, who was sipping a morning cup of coffee. An empty bowl sat in front her. She looked up long enough to just smile at me. Before she returned to drinking her coffee. I think being the older sister, she really enjoyed it when mom scolded me.

“Need to work on your time management sister.” Lily said, draining her cup of  coffee. “But you still have enough time to eat a good breakfast, brush your teeth and get ready for another fun filled day at school. And the schedule for the cafe will be posted this afternoon. You're working the two till six shifts with Madeline. Today is half a day for you. So if you want to come in early and get started, that's cool.” Lily paused. “Also I gave you the weekend off. You know your birthday falls on a Saturday and we’re closed on Sunday.”

I blinked.

“Cool.” I said blinked as I eased down to the kitchen table, Mom wasted no time in placing a bowl of hot grits down in front of me. A few glazed sweet rolls soon followed by a few strips of crispy bacon. I attacked the food with gusto. I was hungry after all. Once I'd finished eating, we heard the ringing of the trolley's bell.

“Thanks for the food mom.” I said as I put my dishes in the sink, collected my school satchel and bolted out the door. Lily followed me. The street car slowed down and Lily and I climbed on. And that's how I greeted my morning.

End of chapter 1