Surprise

“Darling!” came a call from downstairs.
“Your agent is on the phone.”

I sighed. Despite me telling my agent more than once to use my mobile, she continued to use the landline.

“Ok. I’m coming.”

The morning as with many mornings recently, had not been that productive in terms of writing my next novel. I was sure that my agent, Agatha Smythe-Hall was calling to check on progress. I knew what I wanted to write but it would just not come out in any sort of even semi-readable text.

I went downstairs and took the phone.

"Hi, Agatha. This is an unexpected pleasure, what can I do for you on this fine day?"

As I listened to what she was saying, a feeling of relief came over me.

"I really can't believe what you are saying, Agatha. What happened to cause this?"

“Really? And someone leaked it no doubt? I guess it was your opposite number in New York but they’ll naturally deny it.”

“Yes. Of course, I’m interested but…?”

“My next novel. I know what I want to write but it just won’t come out in any usable form at the moment.”

I smiled when I heard her reply.

“That might be true. We won’t know unless I go, now will I?”

“Good. Send me all the details of when and where they want me to go and I’ll think about it. This is a big commitment and will delay getting the first draft of my next story to you.”

"Thanks, Agatha. I'll let you know in a couple of days if that is ok?"

“Ok, bye for now.”

I put the phone down and for the first time in weeks, I managed a smile when thinking about work.

After a couple of minutes, I headed back upstairs towards my Office. As I was about to ascend the stairs, I met my wife, Sara, coming down. She had a smile on her face.

“That sounded like good news?”

“Eh?”

“What Agatha was saying on the phone?”

“Yes, or maybe not. For some very strange reason, my US Publishers want me to do a book tour of the States.”

That stopped Sara in mid-step.

“Didn’t she want to talk about your lack of progress?”

“No mention of it at all.”

“But why now?”

"She said that that a Hollywood studio is looking at taking an option on 'Forever Running'."

Sara burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Didn’t…. Didn’t you say last year that if there was one of your stories that could not be made into a crap action movie it was that one?”

"Oh! I'd forgotten that. You've read it, and it is true isn't it?"

"I'm not a film director but, yes, I would not know where to start."

"Agatha said that this interest was leaked to the media by my American Publisher. She also said that there has been quite an upsurge in sales of all my books. As a result, a tour with some signings and general flag-waving was suggested."

“Are you going to go?”

"In principle, I will but, I need to know what they want from me and the schedule."

“Oh, you will go and enjoy every minute of it.”

“So? Why not come with me then?”

She sighed.

“I can’t just take off just like that. We have to set the council budget in the next month. The head of Finance at the local Council, can't just disappear for what? A month or more and at such short notice? Sorry darling."

“It would be nice if you were with me.”

Sara took hold of my hand and smiled.
“I am a big girl you know. I can look after myself while you are away.”

---

We didn't discuss the trip that night. I was still trying to let it all sink in and failing miserably.

My UK agent emailed me a proposed list of dates and locations in the early hours of the morning.

One look at it, and I knew that it would not be much fun. They wanted me to be in LA one night, New York the next and Seattle the one after that. The more I looked at it, the more I knew that I'd never agree to their proposals.
If I accepted their plan the all I’d see of the USA would be the inside of airports and planes and not much else.

I prepared a timeline of my own. It was clear to me that the trip was being carried out, on the cheap. Three 'red eyes' in three days was not my idea of fun. They were saving on Hotels as well as using the cheapest flights especially, with no flying direct but via those horrible hub airports and the hours waiting for the connecting flight. The worst connection was eight hours in Atlanta for a flight to Charleston after arriving from DC. I could have driven between the two cities in less time than they wanted me to sit on my backside at the airport. I was not going to play their silly games.

Sara agreed with my conclusions and said out of the blue,

“Why not do that road trip you have always been promising yourself.”

“Wh… what do you mean?”

“What I’m suggesting is, that you fly to Florida, probably Miami. Then get your Agent to buy or rent you a car. It does not have to be a new one but serviceable and with working AirCon. You could drive across the US taking in a new schedule of events and visiting all those places you have been talking about visiting since before we were married. You know how I don't like long road trips. Isn't this the ideal time to see the Rockies, Yosemite and everything else and not have to make allowances for me being car sick every few hours?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

Sara laughed.

“No, I’m not but… you have not exactly been productive this past month or so. I can hear you hitting the keys but from what you have said, there has not been a lot of progress on ‘Time for the Bell’?”

I visibly sagged. She was dead right. If I took an extended trip, it would help with my inspiration. It had before and it probably would again.

“I need to think about this.”

Sara looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

“Why don’t you plan an alternative itinerary? Who knows… you might even grow into the idea?”

I knew that I had lost. Sara knew me very well. Too well at times but… this time, she was right.

---

[two days later]

After some initial reluctance, I got interested in the task of preparing an itinerary that would take me on a long road trip that encompassed almost all of the 'Lower 48 States'. Only Arkansas, Rhode Island and Maine, were missing. Maine was just a short trip up the coast from Boston should I decide to tick that one off before my flight home. After just over two days of work, I declared it done and dusted.

I printed off the bits that were relevant to my US Publishers. My version of the programme included all those that were on their initial list plus another six optional stops. I'd added Denver, Vegas, Portland, St Louis, New Orleans, Tampa/Orlando, Charlotte and Atlanta to their programme. If they didn't want me to do my thing in those cities, then so much the better. I was going to visit or at least pass through them anyway.

Sara took one look at it and smiled.

"There… that wasn't so hard now, was it, eh?"

“Humpfffff.”

"Why don't you send that off to your agent right now. Then we can go out for dinner. My treat."

I stopped in mid-step. This was not like Sara at all, but I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

---

It took a week of email exchanges between me, my agent and the US Publishers and a ‘schedule as they kept referring to it was agreed. I would leave for Miami at the end of April and not return home until mid-July. The biggest issue I had, was trying to make them understand that I didn't want a bog-standard SUV unless it had 4-wheel drive. A few of the more off the beaten track places that I wanted to visit required a 4WD vehicle. I’d even suggested a Subaru as the ideal car, but that seemed to fall on deaf ears. Finally, we came to a deal. I'd rent the car, and they'd pay all my Flight and Hotel room costs apart from room service, which I rarely used so, it wasn't that much of a hardship. The overall deal suited me down to the ground.

I repeatedly tried to get Sara to come with me. While, it was possible for Sara to take a three-month leave of absence, she was adamant that the new council budget needed bedding down. The council had had to cope with a large reduction in their funding from Central Government, so I understood her reasons why but, it would have been nice to have her with me on the trip.

---

As they say, 'the best-laid plans and all that jazz', the Car Rental Company at Miami Airport decided that I needed something like the local equivalent of a 'Ford Galaxy'.

"But Sir, no one wants all-wheel drive in Florida!"

"If you look at the rental, you can see that I'm renting the car for ten weeks and returning it to Logan Airport in Boston. Might it be possible that I may go somewhere in that time that needs a modicum of off-road capability?"

“Sir, our insurance does not cover you for going off the paved highway.”

“Really? Your website says differently.”

I searched through the items I’d printed out and came to the car I’d chosen.

“Read the description of the vehicle I wanted to rent.”

The clerk read it.

“You are still not insured. I’m going to cancel the booking.”

That was it. She wasn't to budge. The manager was at another branch, so that was it. It did leave me stuck in the sticky heat of Miami with no wheels. I could feel the time difference catching up on me rapidly. I left the rental company after ensuring that there would be no charges to hit my credit card over the mistake that they had made. I took the Hotel Shuttle to where I was going to stay for the next three nights.

---

The following morning, I collared the manager at the rental company and explained my situation. He laughed.

"The rental people don't get much call for that sort of vehicle down here. Now, if you were in Denver, it would be a different matter entirely."

He sighed.
"I hate it down here in all this heat. I was born in Colorado Springs. Summers are nice back there."
I'd already guessed that like most people in Florida, he was an incomer.

Then he added,
"Let me make a few calls, and I'll try to get something sorted out."

That pleased me no end. But… not having a car had put paid to my grand plan of visiting Key West. I knew that it was a long trip each way but that wasn’t the point. I wanted to visit the place that had starred in so many films over the decades. I was almost in touching distance of it but…

Instead of driving down to Key West, I took a cab to 'South Beach'. I was only there an hour. Far too many wannabes with tans for my liking. I sought refuge from the humidity in a Shopping Mall. It happened to be the one where I would make my first signing the following evening.

I wandered around the cavernous place and eventually found the bookstore. There was no evidence that a signing or anything was happening the following day. Slightly miffed, I went inside.

"Hello, I understand that there is a book signing tomorrow at 7 pm?"

“Oh yes. Some British Guy. We have not received the promotional material from the publishers. It should have come in yesterday. Why do you ask? Are you interested in coming along? I can put you on the list if you are?”

“The List?”

“Oh yes. Only those on the list get copies at a discount.”

“Thanks, but I think I am on the list already. I am the ‘British Guy’ as you just described me.”

The assistant did a double-take. Then she disappeared into the store only to appear some thirty seconds later with a copy of my first book, 'False Start'.

She looked at the dust jacket and then back at me. Finally, she smiled.

"Well, it sure looks like you, so I guess that it is you."

“Do you expect to have the ‘Promotional Material’ by tomorrow evening?”

"Head Office said that they'd sent it by FEDEX yesterday, so it should be here."

I had no confidence in her words.

"Ok. I'll be back at 6:30 pm tomorrow if that is ok?"

“Sure. We should be all set by then.”

I left the Mall and took a Taxi back to my hotel.

If this was a sample of what was to come, then this might not be a very inspiring trip after all.

---

The 'Promotional Material' did arrive in time, and the signing was a success. Well, if you call signing twenty copies of my book, that was being sold at remainder prices a success.

When I returned to my hotel, I sent an email report off to my agent. I was not a happy bunny. If this was a prelude of what was to come, this side of the trip was going to be a total disaster.

I sent a similar report to Sara and went to bed.

I woke up the following morning with a feeling of dread. If the previous evening was a foretaste of what was to follow, then I'd be better off taking the next flight home.

The emails that were waiting for me offered no real hope. Sara's note had tried to be positive, but she had this way with words that meant that she ended up rambling on and talking about things unconnected with the topic that she started with. That was part of why I loved her so much.

My agent was very apologetic. The only positive thing was that he’d sent what he called a ‘snot o’gram' to the US Publishers. For some reason, I doubted that they'd do anything.

The only good thing to come out of the day was the arrival of a Jeep Grand Cherokee from the rental company. The area manager wasn't too happy at a long-term rental, being cancelled as it had been. He'd obtained the Jeep from another branch. While it solved my immediate transportation requirements, I was still not very happy at the involvement or rather the lack of it from my US Publisher.

---

After a sleepless night, I was not too keen to be hitting the road but, I was due to be in Tampa that evening for a signing. Then my schedule allowed for a day for me to visit the Kennedy Space Centre.

I drove up to Tampa via 'Alligator Alley', Naples, Fort Myers and Bradenton. The first part was good, but there was so much traffic north of Fort Myers, I regretted not taking Route 27. Then construction delayed my arrival in Tampa by almost another hour. I only had just enough time to check into my hotel, before leaving for the signing.

This evening, was better attended than the first one. I signed just over fifty copies of my book, which were once again being sold at remainder level prices. The people who came were a lot friendlier than those down in Miami. The two and a half hours of the signing went by in a flash.

The drive and the signing had left me tired out. I'd not eaten since a sandwich at Lunchtime. Thankfully, there was a 24-hour diner across the street from my hotel. As I waited for the food to arrive, I checked my emails.

My Agent was asking how the signing went. He'd sent it in the early evening UK time. I replied with as much enthusiasm as I could muster on an empty stomach.

The other email that was from my US Publisher could wait until the morning. I started to answer it but soon realised that I was ranting. It was understandable as they wanted to move the date of my New Orleans event up by four days. That would mean no visit to Kennedy Space Centre and no day long visit to the Battleship, USS Alabama that is preserved in Mobile, but driving over a day and a half the 650 odd miles Tampa to New Orleans.

I was still angry when I eventually fell asleep.

---

[two days later at the signing in New Orleans]
“I want to thank everyone for coming tonight. I hope you enjoyed hearing part of my next novel. Ms Falkenberg will happily take questions about the likely publication date. I will be available to sign copies of my latest novel should any of you want one.”

I sat down, feeling pretty exhausted. There was polite applause from the fifty or so people who had attended the event.

I was tired because I’d only just made it to New Orleans in time. That was due to the fact that I’d rebelled a bit during the journey from Tampa and had spent far too long visiting the USS Alabama.

Still, the sales of my books in the lower 48 states were on the rise, even if it was only temporary, so I left the bookshop an hour and a half later in a happy mood.

---

My good mood didn't last long the next day. Suddenly, my quite sedate schedule of events had all changed. An email from my US Publishers with the new dates and locations put the kybosh on my planned trip to the French Quarter as they wanted me in Houston that evening. They were very much reneging on the deal that we had agreed.

There was another email from my Agent in London demanding to know why they were changing it all.

There had been no reply at that time.

I slammed my laptop shut. Then, I went out in search of a Cajun Breakfast thinking… 'let them stew for a reply'. I also switched my phone to silent.

I spent the morning doing as I’d intended all along, visiting the famous French Quarter and riding on the Trams.

It was almost two in the afternoon by the time I returned to the hotel. Five messages were waiting for me at the desk. Instinctively, I knew what they contained, but I amused myself reading them in the lift as I went up to my room to pack. I had decided over breakfast what I was going to do and, that didn't involve going to Houston that day.

[end of part 1]

[Authors note]
When I wrote this little tale, I reached this point and got stuck. What happens in part 2 is a bit of fantasy but...