It was the week before homecoming. All of Benton Academy was in full swing, the school was bustling with activity. It seemed every club, no matter there social ranking was doing something to contribute to the festive air filling the hallways. The football players were kings of the school, having just handed St. Katherine’s Episcopal Academy a crushing defeat. If the football players were the kings of the school, then the cheerleader’s where princess. If the cheerleader were princesses that made my sister chief-princess because she was the captain of the varsity cheerleaders.
Not that any of that concerned me of course. Heck as far as anybody knew I was a ghost. See I’m that kind of guy that normally stands in the back of the room, drumming his cup of spiked fruit punch, shifting his weight from one foot to the next while everybody else is talking and joking. But before I go any further, please allow me to explain myself in greater detail.
See in Benton, there really two types of guys. The first one is the all-sports kind of guy, the ones that played every sport known under the sun. The kind of macho man who is always seeing sporting a crew cut. Ask them about the weather or the events going on in the wider world, and they will just stare at you. You can almost hear the gears inside their heads going into overdrive. The next kind of guy is the outdoors type. Normally there retired or active members of the Benton Boy Scout Troop, Troop 543. These types are often either hunters or fisherman or both. There normally slender, have let there hair grow out a bit, and often remain silent, the strong silent type if you will. Ask them about the weather, and nine times out of ten they will put their thumbs in there mouth, remove said thumb and hold it up and depending on the direction of the wind you’ll get.
“Wind from the West, fish bite the best. Wind from the East, fish bite the least. Wind from the North, do not go forth. Wind from the South blows bait in their mouth.” A sounder piece of weather lore was never penned in the annals of history if you ask me.
And since sports required physical contact. And owning to crimping asthma, a slender body and a general lack of understanding of a lot of ‘X’s’ and ‘O’s’ drawn on a blackboard. Sports where, and I doubt shall be ever my thing. Fishing on the other hand I can relate too. Since finishing the varies ponds, streams, and brooks and even the river itself allowed me to think and in a way almost meditated. It was by that grace along I was allowed to join or sit at the ‘Hunting and Fishing’ table during lunch hour.
So besides fishing, I do have one other hobby. You see I love tabletop gaming and anything dealing with anime and manga., I was also an avid reader. So I spent a good bit of my time in the library. Either the one at my school or the one in town. I liked the one in town because that was kind of common ground. And a cool girl called Madeline was often spotted there. I knew from official sources she was dating somebody, so are conversations where always causal. She struck me as kind of a nice girl, she really seemed to dig the supernatural stuff too.
But putting all that aside, let me return to the story. It was my self-study period, and I was spending that time plowing through The Eye of the Word by Robert Jordan. And I was halfway chapter three when out of the corner of my eye I spotted my sister walking into the room. She noticed me and offered a little wave. At first, I thought she was lost since normally she’ll spend the break period being a social butterfly. Instead, she was here, where only the books and voices of long-dead authors dwelled.
Slowly she walked over to the table where I sat. She then pulled out the chair and reached over and lowered my book.
“Hey, little bro, I have a huge favor to ask of you, like big. Like new video game big or I’ll drive you to Jackson to see that new anime movie big.. That includes me buying the popcorn and snacks.” She said in a low, whispery tone of voice.
I blinked and blinked again as I peered toward her. I lowered my book and peered at her. She seemed bothered by something and she kept looking around the room. In a way, it seemed she was ashamed to be here or maybe she was on the lookout for somebody or someone. Maybe one of the ultra-cool kids.
“Sure..” I said at last. Whatever she was wanting, she seemed willing to pay out the big bucks.
“Okay, you know next week is homecoming, right? And where playing like are big rival Manchester Academy right? And that like every year... We host a ‘hostage exchange’ like a member from our school is handed over to Manchester and in return, they offer up one of theirs? And... Like if we win, are hostage is returned safe right? And we kind of mess up there hostage. But if we lost are hostage gets messed up and we release the other... It's like something totally stupid yes, but its tradition.”
I took a deep breath and leaned my chair back. I folded my hands behind my head and closed my eyes as I chewed over each word. I know of the rivalry between Manchester Academy and Benton Academy. It was one as old as the hills. We’ve been at each other's throats for the better part of fifty or so years. See both schools were founded in the seventies. Both started off as “Segregation Academies” private all-white schools that sprung up like toadstools after thunderstorm following the fallout of desegregation. And exchange thing. That was another tradition too. There at least a dozen or so stories telling the origins of the wacky tradition. None of which will be mentioned here of course.
Anyway, take a minute, a very long minute to turn everything over in my head. I opened my eyes and peered toward my sister.
“One question, why do you need me? One, I’m a nerd. Two the hostage is always a little sister of a cheerleader and three. I’m not one of the cool kids.” I said in a flat tone of voice.
My sister did not skip a beat.
“This year's hostage... For Manchester at least happens to be the little sister of the captain’s varsity cheerleading squad. So we gotta match that, and since I’m the captain..”
“Lily..” I said finally putting two and two together. “I’m a boy..”
“But you can pass as a girl! Plus with your hair, your body. Your Manners. And I’ll help you. Trust me. Please, little brother..” She reached over and wrapped her hands around mine and peered into my eyes. Her baby blue eyes seemed to almost sparkle. “Please. Jamie for me..”
I blinked and blinked again. Gathering up my courage, I nodded my head.
A smile grew on Lily face.
“Pinkie swear,” Lily said holding out her Pink.
I had to raise an eyebrow. A pinkie swear was like. That was big. That was making a promise that could not be broken, no matter what.. It was the stuff of legends and schoolyard myths. I’ve even heard rumors of people returning from the dead to complete a pinky swear promise.
“Pink swear, that I will do everything in my power to help my sister,” I said as I wrapped my tiny pink finger around hers. And she in return said.
“I swear, by all powers known and unknown, that no matter the outcome of the game. I’ll treat my brother to a movie in Jackson. And that I, Lily Potter will buy all the drinks and snacks.” Lily said as she peered into my eyes. And with that, it was done. A binding contract that could not be broken, a contact that even death could not break had been formed. And as I watched my sister leave. I swear I felt a chill pass over me.
“And remember, we need to talk this afternoon. And don’t worry. I’ll handle all the paperwork and legal mumbo-jumbo. See you in a bit baby sister.” She called over her shoulder as she passed into the hallway.
I blinked and blinked again. Had Lily, just called me ‘baby sister’ that was. That was strange, not strange in a bad way, but strange in a good way. See Lily being one of the ultra-cool kids, and a cheerleader nonetheless, tried to distance herself from me as much as possible. She was the super perky, athletic cheerleader who overall pulled in average grades. No doubt in a year or so she’ll graduate with honors and be award a cheerleading scholarship to attend college on. Me on the other hand, I’m sure I’ll graduate with honors. And I’m sure I’ll attend college, maybe majoring in history or something.
“See you, sis..” I called after her. I paused and quickly added. “Love you!” I added. It felt right to add the last part. A few seconds later my phone started to buzz and icon on the front showed I had a new text. The text was from Lily. As I opened it the text read.
“I love you too! Your such a dork though!- Big Sis.”
End of Chapter One
That afternoon, as I peered toward the glowing computer screen of my laptop. Wrecking my brain for ideas and lead ins for the rp post I was working on. I noticed the door of my bedroom open and there in the doorway stood my older sister. She had changed out of her school uniform and into something more casual. A pair of jeans and short sleeve shirt that had the logo of a popular girls band written across it. She stood there, eyeing me for a minute before she moved into my bedroom.
“Hey Jamie.. I need to talk to you about something..” She said sitting down on the my bed. She looked over at me and then quickly added. “If you have time of course. I see your doing something.. And we’ll.. It can wait I guess.” She seemed unsure of herself.
I looked away from my post and peered toward my sister. She seemed lost for a minute. Almost scared and her voice seemed to ooze with concern. And oddly enough, I detected a little hint of love in her voice.
“Sure.” I said as I saved what little I’ve written and turned around to give my sister my undivided attention. “I’m all ears sis.” I said sitting up right.
“About this whole hostage thing. You seemed a little over eager today. I mean.. don’t get me wrong. I’m glad your helping me out here. But you almost seemed to jump at the chance.. I mean, you do understand the whole school, will be there right? We’ve not lost a game this season and rumors are already starting to float around of a ‘Perfect’ season. So the bleachers are going to be packed, like wall to wall.” She stopped there and closed her eyes and folded her hands in her lap/
I nodded my head in understanding. My mind was elsewhere right now. And her words were passing into one ear and out the other as fast as she could spit them out.
“And like, the whole town’s going to be there.. And Manchester.. There going to be busing people in to support their team. I guess what I’m saying is this.. Are you sure you want to go out and face the crowds dressed as a girl? And not only that.. But if we lose.. Are you willing to face the gunge tank?” She said in a matter of fact tone of voice.
I blinked and smiled as I reached over and placed my hand upon my sisters lap. Before I could catch myself, I found myself saying. “Sure sis.. I mean I.. nobody knows I exist anyway. I mean if worst comes to worst I can just melt back into the crowds.”
Robin meet my gaze and then she did something that totally surprised me. She reached over and wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a tight embrace. She pulled me between her breast and held me there.. Finally she whispered into my ear. “Okay.. Now let's get you dressed. We still need to tell mom about this and daddy too.”
“Get dressed?” I said tilting my head to the side.
“Yep, it's time to show mom and dad there new daughter.” She said with a little smile as she stood up and walked toward my door. She motioned for me to follow her.
Rolling the mental dice, I once again saved my progress and started to follow here. I followed her down the hallway till she vanished into her room. It was here I had to stop, take a deep breath and think. Lily seemed to notice me standing there. Slowly she walked over to where I stood, reached down and wrapped her hands around my hands in and in a gentle tone of voice she said.
“Listen.” She said looking me dead in the eyes. “Little sisters are allowed to go into their big sisters rooms with permission. It's almost like a expected thing. Like, say if you had been born a girl. We would have spent hours hanging out in each others rooms. Doing stuff like braiding each others hair, doing each others nails. Watching movies on the Disney Channel, you know, basic big sister little sister stuff. So.. Stop dragging your feet, where totally like wasting time and stuff.”
The first thing I noticed, was my sisters room was totally different than mine. Everything was different, the walls were painted a brighter color and adorned with posters of popular singers. The air smelled of cotton candy. Her bed, like mine was tucked into a corner, the pastel colored sheets and blankets where thrown about in a messy kind of way. A large, stuff bear with a pink bow sat atop a mound of pillows. In front of her bed was a white vanity that was trimmed in pink.
“Welcome princess.” Lily said as she closed the door behind me. She then walked over to her open closet and started to dig around. “Okay where going to start with the basics. I know you showered when you got home from school. But you showered like a boy.. You need to learn to shower like a girl if where going to pull this off.” She said as she started to rumble through the closet. After a few long minutes she make a loud sound of approval.
“Here you go.” She said handing me a small, pink container. “You’ll find a small bottle of shampoo and conditioner in there. There also a razor, some shaving foam and some other things.” She held out a finger as she listed each item. “No, go into the bathroom, take another shower and be sure to shave. Also shave under your arms and your legs too. Try to get real close, like close as possible. Once your done, come back and I’ll have your outfit laid out..” She said with a small. She then clapped her hands and in a commanding tone of voice said. “We’ll get to it girl. Where burning oil and no wheels are turning.”
I felt my cheeks flush with color as I wrapped my fingers around the box and nodded my head. Still blushing, I started to make my way toward the bathroom. Once inside, I did as instructed, I shaved my legs, with what little skill I could muster. Next I did the area under my arms and finally again I shaved my face. I then took a nice warm bath. I might have soaked there longer than I should, for soon a harsh knocking on bathroom door was heard. On the other side I could hear my sister calling out.
“Hey! Princess! Can’t hog the bathroom all day. I need to come out, wrap yourself in a towel and lets get with the program here.” She bellowed before walking off. My sister can be something of a little bossy butt at times. Then again she did whip the cheerleading team into shape.
“Coming!” I shouted as I stood up, removed the drain plug and wrapped a extra large pink towel around me. Again a chill passed down my back as I felt how nice the towel was and how soft it felt. Once all that was done, I slipped out of the bathroom and tiptoed down the hallway to my sisters bedroom. Pushing open the door I stopped and blinked. There on the bed was.. Was the outfit my sister had chosen for me.
Soon my eyes focused on the outfit. Sitting upon the bed, was a vintage cheerleader uniform. The red and white pleated skirt was stripped in red and white, the colors of Benton Academy. The top was also red and white. A pair of sport socks lay next to the top and skirt. And finally a white bra and panties.. I felt my face flush as I noticed the two.
“Okay.” Lily said taking a deep breath. “Put on the bra and panties. And get dressed.” She was standing by her vanity. A blow dryer and curling iron where heating up on wooden surface. “Then I’m going to do your hair and style your hair and do your makeup. And then where going to greet mom and dad when they come from work.” She said in a matter of fact tone of voice.
I nodded my head. And quickly slipped on the panties and bra and then the socks followed by the skirt and then the top. I blushed deeply as I noticed how revealing the outfit looked and how well it formed to the curves of my body. Lily all the while watched me like a mother hen, nodding her head with approval.
“Good, now a few squares of packing paper to give the appearance of a chest and where all set..” She paused and then sighed.
“Listen.. Jamie.. I know I’m being a bit bossy. But we have so much ground to cover. And only like a week to cover it. So please bare with me.. There so much I need to teach you. I mean it's one thing to just put on a dress and a little lipstick and stuff some tissue down your shirt. That gives you the appearance of being a girl. But then your just a boy in a dress..” She paused and took a deep breath. It was like she knew what she was about to say was going to sting and she was debating about going through with it or not. After a few painful seconds she finished her statement. “That will just get you jumped after the game and maybe put in the hospital with a broken arm, nose and a few black eyes. .. Plus then we’ll have to explain the nurse why your dressed as a cheerleader and that another can of worms.” She paused again. “But if.. If we put effort into teaching you how to act and talk like a girl, or in your case a young lady. Then everybody would applaud you for being brave and putting in the effort to learn your role.”
Lily then paused and knelled down beside me. I was lost for words, really everything was flying over my head. The change in pace was quickly becoming to much for me.
“Okay.” Lily said peering into my eyes. “Remember when you were like six or seven. And the local high school was putting on a production of the Disney’s Little Mermaid?” She said recalling one of the most defining moments of my childhood or one I still remembered to this day, though five or so years had passed.
“I remember.” I said taking a deep breath. I kind of knew what she was getting at.
“Okay, remember how much effort you put into learning your lines and stuff. And even though you were like in elementary, mom and dad still too you to audition for the part?” Lily said squeezing my hand again.
“I really wanted to be Ariel.. But the women in charge said I was too young. And only a girl could play Ariel..” I said shivering. My acting career had died before it even started. It had died on the vine if you will.
“Right.. But if you give me that kind of effort, like the kind you did back when you trying to play Ariel.. Then people would forget your James and think your Jamie.. And if you want, you can become Jamie more and more.. And maybe, like with hard work, practice and stuff.. You could become Ariel after all..” She said in a almost motherly tone of voice.
I nodded my head,
“Good, Now let's get your hair and makeup done. Tonight’s pizza night.. So we might need to change your outfit. Something more casual, or maybe not. Cheerleaders are often seen wearing their uniforms out. And if any of the girls give you grief.. I’ll say it’s a vintage uniform and you’re my little sis. That alone should be enough.”
End of Chapter two.
Lily did my hair and makeup. She wanted to do more, but the chime of the front door filled the air. Mom and dad were home early it seemed. Lily blinked and stood me up, and took me by the hand and guided me down the hallway and then down the stairwell and finally we reached the foyer. And there in the doorway stood mom and dad, see mom and dad worked together, my family was.. I guess you would call us bourgeoisie. We owned and operated a store in downtown Benton ‘Potter Mercantile’. It was among the oldest businesses in operation. And my sister and I attend Benton Academy. We both attended worship services at the local Episcopal Church St. Mary’s also located downtown. So yes, we had all the hallmarks of the southern bourgeoisie.
But none of that mattered as I stood shoulder to shoulder with my sister, My mother was the first to notice, followed by father. Both just kind of stood there for a minute. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lily shifting her weight from one foot to the other and I quickly did the same. Our mother was the first to speak.
“Lily.. Who is she?” She said pointing toward me with a clearly confused look written upon her face. “Is she one of your cheerleading friends?” She inquired.
Dad was the next to speak.
“I guess your little sisters passed that tomboy phase?” He said reaching up and removing his tie. “But before we get into that. I would like for us to have a little family chat.” He turned around and peered toward mom. “Don’t you agree honey?”
Mom took a deep breath and walked over to me. She looked me dead in the eyes and without saying a world, she reached over and pulled me into a hug. “So, I guess my little tomboy is finally going to become my little princess.”
I blinked and blinked again as I peered toward my mom, then toward my dad. Both just stood there, dressed in there work clothes as if nothing was going on. Dad spoke again.
“I think we should move this meeting to the living room.” He said in a firm, commanding tone of voice. He then removed his tie, and his blazer and hung both of them up on a coat rack. Then without waiting for us, he started to walk toward the living room. Dad had retired from the army, I think he was a commissioned officer or something. Because when he gave a order, he expected you to follow it. And often he was right beside you. Mowing the lawn, he’ll be there. Cleaning out the gutters, he’s working right alongside you.
Mom and Lily fell in right behind him. I just stood there blinking, finally I followed suit. When I reached the Living room. Dad was sitting in his chair, mom and Lily where sitting on the sofa. And Dad, Dad was patting his lap. Taking a deep breath I moved over there and stood beside his chair. Dad peered toward me. Then something licked, blushing like a bride, I climbed up and sat down in his lap. Almost on instinct, I folded the helm of my skirt down as I found myself seated upon his lap. For support I reached over and wrapped my arm around his strong shoulder and before I could catch myself, I found my head resting upon his shoulder.
“She such a daddy’s girl.” Lily said taking a deep breath as she sat next to mom.
“Just like you. You were quite the little daddy's girl growing up. I’ll fuss at you and you’ll run crying to daddy.” Mom said as she wrapped her arm around Lily shoulder and gave her a look.
“So,” Dad said clearing his throat. “Before we go any further, I would like to know a few things. First I want to ask Jamie a question. And I expect her to be totally honest with me.” He looked me dead in the eye. “Why are you wearing a cheerleader outfit?” There was nothing but love and understanding in his voice.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lily open her mouth. But dad silenced her with a stern look and then he turned her eyes toward me again. His brown eyes, seemed to almost sparkle. He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze and nodded his head.
“Lily needed somebody to play the hostage at the homecoming game. And we’ll.. She wants me to it. Since the other cheerleader put up her baby sister, she decided that she.. She should put up her own baby sister. And since I’m a boy, she decided to dress me up as a girl and have me play the part..” I said, the words just spilled out of my mouth and before I could catch myself I had told more than I wanted to.
“I see,” Dad said as he peered toward me. “Are you okay with this?” He asked me. It was a direct question.
“Yes..” I said blushing as I looked down and folded my hands in my lap.
“Are you okay with this, because you want to help your sister, or do you want it? Do you want to dress up as a girl, because you think you should have been born a girl, say instead of a boy?” My dad asked again as he peered directly into my eyes.
“I don’t know how to answer that question.” I said taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry daddy.” I quickly added as I peered down at my lap.
My dad nodded his head and took a deep breath.
“It's okay sweetheart, but in time I’ll need a answer. Right now, just enjoy being yourself I guess.” He said chuckling as he reached up and pulled me into a hug and after he released me. He said, “I guess I have three women to keep me straight.” He said smiling as he settled down into his chair.
Much to my surprise, I found myself giggling along with my mom and Lily. Finally once the giggling settled down, dad pushed me off his lap and reached into his trousers. It was then I noticed something in his eye. A look that had always been there, but a twinkle and a glow. I felt a sudden surge of love, love that had always been there, and would remain there, no matter if I was a boy or a girl.
“Here..” He said handing mom two twenty dollar bills. “Why don’t you and the girls go out to eat tonight. I’ll scrap around the kitchen for something. Just be sure to pick up a few things from Sunflower. There a list of odd’s and ends pinned to the fridge door.” He closed his eyes and smiled. “Bundle up too, make keep each other safe and be careful.” He called out. And then he was out like a light.
Mom by now had placed the money into her wallet and her wallet into her purse. She then placed her purse over her shoulder and smiled softly as she reached over and picked up her car keys. “Sounds good. Okay girls. Let's get going. Jamie, the cheerleader outfit looks cute on you.. So you can keep it on for now. But tomorrow, I expect Lily to come up with some other outfits. And she should still have some old uniforms hanging around too.”
And another chapters come to a end.
With daddies money in hand. Mom, Lily and I headed to Johannes Malt Shop, Benton favorite and only mom and pop burger joint. Once we walked through the door, the smell of beef patties being grilled on a open flame hit us like a ton of bricks. Once we were inside, mom guided Lily and I toward a table. Once we were seated a women around Lily age appeared. She had honey blonde hair and deep blue eyes. She smiled toward each of us and placed a small paper menu down upon the table.
“Hey ya’ll.” She said reaching down into her apron. She the pulled out a small yellow pad of paper and a pen that read ‘Bank of Yazoo’. Once both of those where in her hand, she said. “Evening, my name is Wendy and I’ll be waiting on you tonight. Tonight are specials include a fried catfish basket. Served with six pieces of fish and your choice of either French fries or a bake potato. Also possible sides include coleslaw and your choice of either Texas toast or a dinner roll. Are other special is half a fried chicken, sides include a house salad, or French fries or a baked potato and finally your choice of Texas toast or a dinner roll.”
She paused and placed the tip of her paper down upon the paper. “So, what can I get y'all three lovely ladies.” She peering my mom first, then Lily and finally me.
“I’ll take the catfish plate.” Mom said. She then peered toward my sister and I. “Make that three catfish plates. I’ll like a baked potato with mine and a dinner roll. And you Lily would like.”
“Double French Fry.” Lily said.
Mom rolled her eyes and then turned toward you.
“And for you Jamie?” She said peering toward me.
“Double French Fries for me too!” I called out with a small smile, I was after all following the example of my big sister.
“So, that three Friday night specials. One with a bake potato and a dinner roll. And the other two with double French fries and dinner rolls. Okay got that, so what can I get you three ladies to drink?” She said smiling.
“Sweet tea!” all three of us said together. We both then exchanged looks and fell into a wild chores of giggles. See in the South, sweet tea is like the house wine, we have it with every meal or just about. And fish on Fridays? That was another southern thing. And since me and my family where Episcopal, we normally reframed from eating meat on Fridays and instead dined on catfish. I’m sure that made the catfish farmers very happy!
“Okay.” Wendy said smiling. “I’ll turn this end and get your drinks for y'all. Just give me a howler if y'all need something.” And with that she bounced away.
Once she was gone, Lily turned to me and smiled. In a teasing tone of voice she said.
“Totally fooled her! Can’t believe she brought it!” She said smiling. “Boy, if we can keep this up we got this cat in the bag.”
“Lily Elizabeth Potter.” Mom said as she peered toward Lily.
Lily blinked and flushed with color as here full name was called.
“Yes ma’am?” She said as she peered down at her lap. You could tell she quite taken back. Any time somebody calls your full name. You know you’ve crossed a pretty big line there and normally there no turning back. And since Lily has been a bit of a bossy butt. Watching her get fussed out was pretty good.
“Lily got fussed at! Lily Got fussed at!” I chanted over and over again in a sing song tone of voice. My chanting had the desired affected, as Lily quickly flushed a deep reddish color.
“And that quite enough out of you.. Jamie Sarah Potter.” She said fixing me with a look that would melt through the polar ice caps. She folded her arms under her chest. She then fixed Lily with a look before she added. “Your both still not old enough to go over my lap. And I’m sure my lap can fit two young ladies who should know better.” She said in a stern, scolding tone of voice.
“Yes ma’am.” I said. Looking down at my lap.
“Yes ma’am.” Lily said peering down at her lap as well.
My mom nodded her head and smiled.
“Good, now, make up you too. Hug and all.” She commanded.
And much to my surprise, Lily stood up and pushed her chair under the table. At first I was lost, but I soon followed her lead and stood up, and then much to my surprise, she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me and held me. Slowly I picked up my arms and wrapped them around her. For a good minute we stood there, all eyes where fixed upon us as we hugged.
“Sorry for teasing you.” She paused. “I know your kind of coming out of your tomboy phase.” She whispered the last part.
I felt a deep blush bloomed on my cheeks as I leaned into the hug.
“And I’m sorry for making fun of you too.” I said and for another minute we held each other. And I started to feel something bloom between us.
Finally we broke apart and each one us took our seats. Small talk was made till are tea arrived and a few minutes after are tea our fish plates. Sharing a meal with my mom and sister as well, as a girl was different than a guy. I found myself noticing how they ate, I started taking smaller bites and chewing my food more and more. I noticed too how they sat, how they held themselves and I did my best to mimic them. Toward the end of the meal, mom and Lily both noticed me impersonating their behavior. Both smiled and giggled.
“Dressing up as a girl is one thing.” Mom said taking a small drink from her tea. “But learning to act like one is something totally different. Girls learn from each other. The secrets of girlhood have been passed down from mother to daughter since the dawn of time. Older women teach the younger ones vital skills, like how to dress for formal events, how to flirt, how to style their hair and how to properly apply makeup. Girls always try to develop a support network..”
Lily nodded her head and took a deep breath.
“Like, since I’m a cheerleader.. And your now I think my little sister? The girls on the squad are going to take a keen interest in you. Like, your part of a big sisterhood. I’ve heard it called the ‘PomPom Fortress’ before. More or less, as Jamie you’ll get a big social promotion. No more sitting alone during lunch or with the fishers. Nope, your going to be sitting with us.” She said smiling softly.
Mom blinked and blinked as she peered toward me.
“I thought you had friends? You never told me you sat alone during lunch?” She said pushing her plate to the side. “Jamie.. Are the others being mean to you? Are you being bullied?” The questions where shot at me at quick succession
And with that all eyes turned toward me.
I took a deep breath and shook my head, yes I was teased. The football boys often mistook me for a really tomboy girl. They often played ‘Monkey in the middle’ with me, tossing my books from one player to the other. They made fun of my accent, a light southern tone one. Mine was different, years of reading fiction online, and some British Editions of some books, ones that often surfaced in the local charity shops that colored my voice. My accent had the soft ring of Dixie and the refinement of the Northern states. But I could not tell her that, Mom worries about me, maybe a too much.
Mom gave me a look and so did Lily. And both let the matter drop. We returned to are meal and small talk was made. I mostly kept silent and listened to Lily talk about what cheer she was going to do, I learned more about my role as hostage.
“Oh! One good thing about being the hostage is, you get like a really big meal. See before the game, The whole squad will walk you toward the center of the field. There we’ll exchange you for the other student. The Manchester cheerleaders will then keep you company. There honor bound to treat you with respect. And to oddly enough feed you.. A ribeye steak is the common meal.. then at the end of the game, like I said if we win, they release you and you know the rest.”
Mom took a deep breath and shook her head.
“I swear, I’ll never understand these crazy traditions. I mean I attended St. Katherine’s Episcopal Academy. And we never did anything like that. But then again, Vicksburg is different from the rest of Mississippi. Being a big port on the Mississippi river and civil war battlefield. Its more, hard to put into words.” She smiled. “And that how I met your father. Your father was the linebacker for Manchester, and I was cheerleader for St. Katherine’s Episcopal Academy, in one of our games. Your father broke his leg. I was in girl scouts at the time and knew a little first aid. So.. I tended to him and rode with him to the hospital.. And from there the seeds of our love was born.” She blushed and giggled a little.
“Cute.” Lily said smiling softly.
“Really cute!” I added.. As a boy, I would find mom talking about how she meet dad, boring and dull. But as ‘Jamie’ I found it cute and something I wanted to know more about.
Finally, I felt a question bubbling in me, a question I could not contain. So taking a deep breath I blurred it out.
“So.. Why do you keep calling me a ‘tomboy’ and why did you and dad just shrug off the fact that I appeared wearing Lily old cheerleading uniform.” I paused and awaited for the backlash.
Mom blinked and blinked again. She reached over and took a deep draft from her tea glass. She paused and peered toward me and after a few minutes she started to speak.
“Dad and I knew something was brewing when you wanted to play the part of the girl in that play. You never liked ‘boy’ games growing up. You read a lot, but the stuff you read is not really aimed at boys. I remember you reading ‘Little Women’ and ‘Wuthering Heights’ and my old copies of ‘Nancy Drew’. You know girl books.”
Lily then chimed in.
“I remember you use to watch me style my hair. You never seemed bothered when I drafted you to play dress up with me. And when we played house, you were always the daughter and I was the mother.” She said in a almost gentle tone of voice.
“All that aside.. Where not going to force anything on you.” Mom said. “If you happen to be our son, we will still love you. If you happen to be are daughter, we’ll still love you. If tomorrow you proclaim yourself genderless.. We’ll still love you.” She said smiling
And so another episode comes to a end.
Nothing really happen after that. The weekend came and passed, with me spending the weekend as Jamie. Since I had little pocket money, and my sister was likewise broke, we spent the better part of Saturday and Sunday doing extra chores around the house to earn some extra coins. Sunday afternoon, when we finally knocked off, the whole house had been cleaned from top to bottom, swept, mopped and dusted. We even tackled the corners and baseboards. I’m proud to say the whole thing shinned like new money.
Monday started spirit week. My sister being a cheerleader did everything. While I kept my nose to the grindstone. Homecoming or not, I still had homework that needed to be tended too and I still owed somebody a role-play post, or a dozen at this point. So I had to power through those. Meanwhile, I started to think myself more and more like Jamie. I found myself wondering the charity shops each afternoon after school. Downtown Benton is crawling with them. It never failed that I would stop and peer toward a prom dress from last year’s season that was now out of fashion and as a result the original price on it was slashed by half at least if not more.
I found myself wishing to wear such a pretty dress at such a high social event. Then finally, Friday arrived. That day, something had changed, the whole school seemed to be on edge. The tension that had been building all week seemed to be at a breaking point. The football players acted like they were kings of the world.
Lunch that day was oddly enough something good. The whole school was treated to big bowls of beef stew, with big chunks of braised beef floating in a sea of brown broth surrounded chunks of veggies. Big slices of warm garlic toast was served along with the stew and to wash it all down, ice cold coke cola and the sweet that finished it, cool crisp lemon pie. Considering the normal fare at lunch time was poorly prepared, watery soups, stale bread and half warm milk, this was a treat worthy of the Gods.
I was on my second bowl of stew, when my sister appeared with a dozen cheerleaders. She tapped me on the shoulder and in a commanding tone of voice whispered into my ear. “Once your done, come find me, where having a pep rally. The whole homecoming court will be there and we need are hostage.” She said as she and the other cheerleaders exited through the door.
I blinked and blinked again as I finished my bowl and swallowed the last piece of bread and drained the last piece of now warm coke. Once that was done, I carried my tray over to the window and placed it there and exited the room via the same door the cheerleaders used. After a few minutes Lily spotted me and pulled me into a nearby room. I found myself surrounded by a dozen or so cheerleaders. All dressed to the nines in their uniforms.
“Okay. We don’t have a lot of time. The homecoming court is already getting ready. The football players are getting suited up. Fr. Thomas from St. Mary’s will be here soon to bless the football team and give them final rites and last communion. Okay give some final rites, last communion.” Lily said as she walked and bent down behind the desk and pulled out a bag.
“So, Lily.. You sure about this?” One of the cheerleaders said as she pointed toward me. “He looks like some geek the dogs dragged up from the trash pile.. Pale as ghost, skinny as a railroad rail, not a hint of curve to him. Jesus the Manchester girls will know in a hair second she is a he and there going to be all hell being raised.” She added in a matter of fact tone of voice.
I felt my cheeks flood with color.
“.. RUDE!” Another girl said as she peered toward the cheerleader that just spoke. “Totally not called for.” She said peering toward her with a look that made the blood flowing through my body turn to ice water.
“What?” The girl said folding her arms across her chest. “Just saying, look! I don’t feel okay with this. I don’t know what kind of twisted game where playing out. But I don’t feel right about having some boy dress up as a girl and go there.” She then peered toward Lily. “Far as I’m concerned, what we should do is throw him in with the boys and let them toughen him up. Have them pull them pretty little panties down and show him what being a girl is all about. Just be sure to throw them a bottle of lotion..”
“THAT ENOUGH!” Bellowed another cheerleader. “Linda your totally out of bounds there. Like not cool girl! Cut that shit out right now, I swear to God and St. Joan if you do anything to harm this boy, I’m going to throw down on you.”
At this point, my hands were wrapped around the handle of the door and I was about to pull the door open then Lily spoke. And when she spoke I swear the whole room became silent as the grave. You could have heard a pen drop in that tiny storage room.
“Linda, Jamie is my little sister. You will respect her. If we were not mere hours always from the biggest game of the season, I swear I would kick you to the curve right now. After the game, turn in your uniform and your pom poms. Your off the squad.. We as cheerleaders are suppose to support everybody and love everybody.”
All around her the others nodded her head. Save for Linda who stood there looking like a cat that just been thrown into a tub of cold water. I swear she was bristling like a cat who just cornered another cat at the food bowl.
“So, your choosing that freak over there.” She said pointing toward me, “Over your third girl.. Fine be like that, you and that other dress wearing freak over at Benton AG can go suck a dick. Brother John Mark was right. This whole town is going to hell.” She held her hands up in the air and sighed. “ Where going to become the next Sodom and Gomorrah.” She said before leaving the room. She slammed the door behind her and you could hear her rushing down the hallway, huffing and puffing.
And as I was standing by the door. Linda pushed me out of the way. It was quite a hard push, one that threw me down on the ground and took the breath away from me. For a minute she stood there, looking at me on the ground. Her brown hair hung around her shoulders. Her fist was balled up and a look of hate clouded her eyes.
“Freaks like you. Need to burn into hell. All you do is sit around and read and write. You don’t even read books, you just read those silly Japanese comic books. You and your freak friends, who sit around, and read those damn little Japanese comic books, watch those silly Japanese cartoons, and play those devil card games and games. Just need to go somewhere.” She said tossing her nose up at me. “I’ll be praying for you.”
She then turned her gaze toward Lily.
“Lily, I once thought you were cool. I once considered you a friend. But if your going to choose, some freak over me! Then.. Fine. I hope the whole town, sees you and that thing on the floor for what you really are soon!” And with that she walked out the door and slammed it shut behind her. The sound of the door slamming shut echoed like a shotgun blast and left us all stunned and silenced.
Once she was gone all eyes turned me. The cheerleader who spoke before rushed over and helped me up. She then started to fuss over me, brushing off my shirt and fixing my ponytail. The others were gathered around Lily who was sinking down into a chair. The bag sat beside the chair. She looked deep in thought and finally after a few minutes she said.
“Listen.. Jamie, I’m sorry that happen. If that ruined that for you.. Then I can understand. I’ll talk to others and see what I can do.. We might even just scrap the whole hostage thing..”
I stood up and walked over to Lily, I reached down and wrapped her hands into mine and peered into hers.
“Tell me.. Does this mean a lot to you?” I asked
“We gotta have a hostage sweetie.” Another cheerleader said. “I don’t know what it is. Its dumb and where the only two schools in the state that does that. Since Manchester already has already surrounded one of there, a pretty little strawberry blonde by the name of Lana Bell. She arrived this morning on the Memphis-Jackson Express.. Then I guess we need one. Hard to find one on such short notice.”
“And if we don’t surround you.. Then we have to forfeit the game.” Another cheerleader said.
“But.” Lily said taking a deep breath. “I don’t want you to be forced into it. And I want you to have fun.. I did not want one or expect one of my own girls to lash out like that.” Lily said.
I reached over and wrapped my arms around Lily and hugged her. And then much to my surprise, the other cheerleaders joined in the hug. It was one massive group hug! For a good three minutes we squeezed each other. Till finally, the same girl that took up for me before spoke,
“Okay sweetie, love the display of sisterly love. But we gotta get you prim and proper. We have a show to put on. Whole school going to see you today. And despite what one chip on the shoulder girl says. We the cheerleaders stand behind you, and if we stand behind you. Then the football players better stand behind us and the whole bloody school stands behind the football players. So there, nothing to worry about.”
“I do have like one question?” Another cheerleader said. I swear the poor girl started to sweat drop as all the eyes turned toward her.
“Hold up! I just gotta ask Jamie one question.” She cleared her throat. “So, Jamie.. Are you coming to the homecoming dance?” She said smiling softy at me.
I felt my cheeks flush with color as I shook my head.
“Nope.. I don’t have a ticket, nor do I have a dress.” I said sadly. “Plus I don’t have a date..”
“Okay.. We can solve all three of those problems right now.” The girl said peering at me. “Joan, here has a little brother around your age. He’s on the football team. Turns out he needs a date, so there that solves that problem. Now the dress, the school had like three or so dozen old formal gowns in storage for girls who can’t afford one. And for a ticket.. Girl you’re the hostage! You get a free ticket!”
“Oh! Jamie would look so cute with Ben! She short, he’s tall. And yes, we have like dozens of dresses for you to choose from! And if.. If you get the slime.. We can just all double team you.” Joan said smiling a wicked smile.
“A makeover blitzes!” Lily proclaimed smiling. “It's going to be tight girls, two and a half hours for us to get changed into are own gowns and get Jamie here ready for her first real date! But.. But where cheerleaders, we live and train for this!”
Joan smiled and took a deep breath.
“I just sent Ben a text. He’s totally on board with this blind date! So there we go.. Hang on tight girlfriend, where going to give you a night to remember!” Joan said.
I looked over at my sister and smiled. How quick things had gone from being tense to fun. She returned my smile with one of her own. And then I knew, another chapter was opening for me.
Once the shockwaves from Linda’s little outburst settled down. Lily reached over and took me by the hand and guided me toward the bathroom. While the other cheerleaders scattered, each one having last minute chores that needed be done before the big show. Her hand wrapped around mine, she pulled me into the staff bathroom. She handed me the gym bag, I blinked and unzipped the bag and there in the bag was the old cheerleading uniform I first wore.
“it’s a vintage uniform. Around two thousand and eight, our uniform was updated. But the school still has dozens laying around. I think this style was last worn in nineteen ninety-nine or something. So its vintage enough to look cute and old enough not to rattle any feathers. Plus, you’re an honoree cheerleader. If I had the time, I’d taught you some basic cheers.” Lily said smiling.
I turned around and smirked.
“Oh like this?” I said taking a deep breath as stepped clear of the sink, the stale and the trash can. Once I was given enough space. I then smiled and started to clap my hands in rhythm. Once the rhythm was flowing through me I took a deep breath and in a booming tone of voice chanted.
“One! Two! Three! Go Benton Raiders! Go! Crush the Mavericks into the ground!” I said moving my arms and legs in the same fashion I’ve seen my sister do a thousand and one times.
Lily looked impressed and made a motion for me to go on.
“One! Two! Three! We are the Raiders! We're here to win! So Fight! Fight! Fight! Benton Raiders!” I chanted again smiling as I once more mimicked the movements that went along with the cheer. My sister now seems thoroughly impressed as she nodded her head.
“Okay! Perfect! Do that cheer at the sidelines.” She said giving me a thump up. She turned around and then gave me a look. “But one question. How did you learn those cheers?” She asked as she turned to leave. No doubt to give me some privacy to change in peace and to guard the door.
“I’ve been watching you cheer for like.. Years now. I was abounded to pick up something.” I said smiling.
“Cheerleading runs in the blood. Mom was a cheerleader, she trained me, I know she trained you a little to help me with the cheers that require some help. Like that the reason your so bendy and you do play Rogues in your dice games. So I guess being bendy helps Rogues.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Anyway give me a yell when you’ve changed.”
And so I changed into the uniform. Once I was changed I pushed the door open and there before I stood the whole squad. Joan was the first one to speak, she looked me up and down and smiled. Her smile made me feel better as she reached down and took me by the hand. She guided me down the hallway till we came to an old room. I’ve passed the room at least a dozen or so times. The door had always struck me as another door in a long hallway of doors.
“Welcome.” Another cheerleader said as she stood by the door and placed her hand upon it.
“To the first day, of your new life!” Lily said grinning as she stood by the other side of the door and placed her hands upon it. Smiling together they both pushed upon the door and the door swung open. Once the door was pushed open, racks upon racks of formal gowns and dresses appeared. The gowns wherein all shapes and sizes and colors. Two full racks of them! It the back one that caught my eye, it was a long, formal gown, a coral pink gown that sparkled like a million stars in the light of the room. From the minute I laid eyes on the dress, I knew that was the one. Quickly I pointed to it.
“Found something you like?” Lily said peering toward me, she wore a smile that reached from the corner of her mouth to the other.
“I think she found the perfect dress,” Joan said folding her arms across her chest and giving me a little smile.
“Yep, she found the perfect dress. One she just must have.” The cheerleader paused and took a deep breath. “Or else her little heart will be broken and the whole date would be ruined and her social life would be over before its just begun.”
“Mindy, that insane,” Joan said rolling her eyes. “I doubt Jamie will become a drama queen. Then again, she Lily little sister. And Lily the biggest drama queen the school’s ever seen. Has been since the first grade.”
“Sis,” I said taking a deep breath as I peered toward the dress. “Can I please have this one?” As I waited for her to respond, I walked over and picked up the hanger the dress was hanging from. Taking a deep breath, I held the dress up to my body with one hand and pressed it to my figure with the other. My cheeks turned a bright pink as I noticed the gown seemed to fit me like a glove. It was like I was destined to have it.
Lily bit down on her lips and reached down into the pocket of her skirt and pulled out her phone. She then raised the phone and took a quick snapshot of me holding the dress. She then pressed a few buttons, a few seconds later the phone made a loud buzzing noise. A few more buttons where pressed. And finally, after the longest minute and a half of my life, she looked up and smiled.
“Mom approves of the dress. I sent her a text about the date since it's your first formal dance. She extending your bedtime by two and a half hours. Meaning, at the stroke of midnight you must be back home, getting ready for bed.”
“That cool. Its almost like you know a Disney movie. The shy geek girl meets a wishing granting fairy, is given a chance to shine. But has to leave by a certain time or less the magic will fade.” Joan said smiling. “Would totally make a good movie.”
“It would. Lily said taking a deep breath as she peered toward me.” She then turned toward Joan and said in a matter of fact tone of voice. “And in Jamie case, if she stays out past midnight. She going to get grounded and maybe go over Daddy's knee too. That includes her big sister!” She said with a roll of her eyes.
“Ouch! Still going over daddy knee I see?” Joan said blushing as she walked behind me and reached down and started to playfully rub my arms. “In that case, we gotta make sure our little princess is all prime and proper. The dance starts at eight and ends at one. So that leaves just enough time..”
“Yes, the princess needs her beauty rest too. Otherwise, she going to be all cranky and whiney for the rest of the day. And trust me, that one headache I can do without.” Lily said rolling her eyes.
Everybody laughed at that and I felt my cheeks flush with color as I peered toward my sister.
Lily returned my stare with one of her own, then in a playful tone of voice, she pressed her attack. All the other cheerleaders at this point had gathered around and were lapping at Lily’s words like kittens lapping at there milk saucers.
“I mean, she can be cute too! Don’t get me wrong there. But man she can fussy too. And if you poke her during her game sessions, she gets all huffy and puffy too. But, as I said, she can be cute too. Like this one time, we where folding sheets and towels for mom. And all she could talk about was who she was going to marry in this video game. Its one of those slice of life things. I think your objective is to restore an old farm and befriend a lot of people so they can open up shops in this town.”
All the cheerleaders started to giggle and smirk. While I could just sit there and pout and blush! Lily who no doubt noticed me blushing and pouting, simply ignored me and pressed on with her story.
“As I said, it was cute. Cause you know she was still in her tomboy phase and all. Girls she was all gushing about being a beautiful bride and stuff. I think in the game, she finally married the towns doctor?” She paused. “Am I right?”
“OH!” All the cheerleaders as they broke into a chore of giggles. “So Jamie married for money!”
And after that, they all started to tickle me and soon we where all giggling and laughing together. I must say, though there teasing made me blush. It also made me feel good. There nothing like playful ribbing to make one feel at home.
“Okay!” Lily called out in a loud booming tone of voice once the giggling and laughing was dying down. All eyes turned toward her.
“We have four hours before kickoff. Where down a girl and the Manchester team will be arriving shortly. We need to find somebody ASAP to replace Linda and get ready to greet the cheerleaders. So, let's get into business mode girls!” She clapped her hands and all the girls nodded there heads.
And another episode ends.
The bleachers on both sides of the field where filled to the brim with people. The whole school had turned out, with dozens of people waving small flags that had the school’s mascot on them. The cheerleaders where busy whipping the crowds into a frizzy. And thereby the side, My eyes firmly fixed upon the strawberry blonde girl being lead to our side of the field by three Manchester cheerleaders. Lily, Joan, and Mindy were there. The three talked with the other three and finally, Joan escorted the girl from Manchester over to a waiting table where our homecoming court sat. Then the three turned their eyes toward me. Lily called me over to her side.
Taking a deep breath and crossing myself, yes, even Episcopalians can cross themselves in times of great need. But once I had crossed myself. I walked over to where the three stood. Joan then took a deep breath and placed one hand upon my shoulder and so did Lily. Both then exchanged a look and without a word being spoken, the two marched me across the field.
Once we reached the other side of the field. Lily took a deep breath and gently pushed me toward the three Benton cheerleaders that stood before us. Lily then cleared her throat and in a firm tone of voice called out.
“We, the cheerleaders of Benton Academy, having been charged with the duty to deliver into your hands Jamie Sarah Potter into your hands to act as a hostage for the rest of the game. We pray you will treat her with respect and kindness.” Lily said as she peered toward the tallest of the three cheerleaders. The girl smirked and step forward and reached over and placed her hand on my shoulder.
“We’ll treat her alright. Can’t promise we're going to return her clean.” She said grinning as she peered toward the Manchester boys gearing up for the game. “Cause we going to clean the floor with you country hicks. So skip back to your side girl, and kiss your boy's goodbye. We're about to bring your historical season to a close right now!” She said as she guided me toward there side of the field.
I looked over at my sister and smiled as she marched away.
Once I reached the sidelines. Kick off started and the game got underway. It was confusing, to say the least, and quite horrible to watch. The crowd roared with cheers and boos after each play. The sound of crashing plastic pads and the horrible screams of twisted knees and ankles filled the cool autumn air. The cheers from the other side of the filled where carried on the breath of the wind. Along with the groans of pain from the other football players.
“So.” One of the cheerleaders said to me, she wore the white and green uniform of Manchester. “You guys are getting hammered out there. But, that aside. How do you like your steak? Where about to fire up the grill and cook some steaks. And like, how do you like yours?”
“Medium-rare,” I said without taking my eyes off the field. Now, I’m a big history buff. I love reading about things and I dig our local history. And part of being a local historian if I might be so bold as to call myself that is attending the dozens or so small-scale civil war reenactment’s that take place in Benton, Vicksburg, Yazoo City and finally Rolling Fork. The thrill of muskets being fired and men charging each other excites me.
And that tingling of excitement filled every nook and cranny of my body as I watched each play. The Manchester boys where built like tanks. And they rolled through our team. I can only compare them to a flying spearhead of Green and White, that broke and shattered the line of Red and White. As the mad bulls thundered on toward scoring one touchdown after touchdown, the wreckage they left in there wake caused my eyes to mist.
After each play, defeated and broken players would limb to the bench on our side of the field and sit down, toss there proactive helmets down on the ground and burry there faces in there hands. The autumn breeze carried the acidity smell of puke and gator-aid. And the score at this point was Home: O and Visitors: 20 My fate it seemed was sealed and I saw nothing short of holy intervention on the side of the armies of heaven would save me.
At that point, I started to smell the bitter smell of burning charcoal. Fifteen minutes later, the smell of sizzling meats filled the air as a few of the days that followed the team stood around half a dozen or so grills. Each one held a small can of light beer and after each touchdown or completed pass for Benton, they would hold there cans up and raise their voices in celebration. Their voices joining the cheers rising from the throats of the cheerleaders who kept doing high kicks and such. Then the cheerleaders did one cheer that made me blush!
“Hey, Manchester! Hey Manchester! Keep on rolling, keep on rolling! Bring this game, to a close and bring Lana back home to us! And send this brat to the tank!”
The chant was taken up by the crowd behind me. And from three or four hundred voices, one might roar came and filled the cool autumn hair.
“Save LANA! SAVE LANA! SAVE LANA!” The voices chanted and a loud roar of approval filled the air as Manchester scored another touchdown! I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole right then and there.
“Here you go.” The same cheerleader from before said as she placed a plate down in front of me. The paper plate held what appeared to be a good twelve-ounce Ribeye, a baked potato that had been wrapped in foil and to top it all off, a twenty-four-ounce bottle of ice cold coke. We love coke here in the south.
Beside the coke, there was a salt and pepper packet, a plastic knife and fork and some paper towels. The cheerleader then pulled up and chair and sat down beside me and gave me a little smile. “Name is Katie by the way. I’m the head cheerleader in these parts. And I guess. Your jailer for the night.”
I smirked and held my hand out and said.
“Jamie,” I said and smiled as she shook my hand.
“Cute name. Well, I’m going to let you finish eating right now. Where almost at .. And..” She blushed and reached down and pulled me into a quick hug. “No hard feeling kay? It's just a dumb tradition, just be brave kay? I’m not going to lie to you. We have are slop.. Like packed in dry ice. Cause you guys are like our biggest rival. So it's going to be freezing!” And with that, she giggled and skipped away. Leaving me to ponder her words.
As I chewed upon my steak, I heard a chant filling the air from the other side of the field, dozens and dozens were chanting “Save Jamie! Save Jamie!” and the cheerleaders were leading the chant. And so with both sides demanding the players on the field save there respected hostage the second half started.
And boy was it a slaughter. Despite Benton playing better in the second half than they did in the first. Their sudden effort came too late to save me, with the final score being. Home: 14 and Visitors: 37.. And so the game ended. And as I stood there and watched the causalities from the last desperate push to save me, being carted off the field by there fellow football players, I felt the blood in my vain turn to ice water as I heard him crying for his mommy as he was eased down on the ground. That image has stayed with me. It was like something straight from the black and white pages of our history books.
“And so. The historical season of Benton Academy comes to an end as Manchester winds a stunning victory with the final score being fourteen to thirty-seven. Now, in the center of the field is something called a gunge tank. As a tradition, the hostage of from the losing school will be, I think the word is slimed in a mixture of cake batter, eggs, and oil, colored in the colors of the winning school.”
Before I knew what was going on. I found two cheerleaders surround me, their strong grips reached down and lifted me up and hoisted me into the air. I swallowed hard as I was marched into the center of the field. As I looked over my shoulder, I noticed Lana bouncing across the field. She quickly threw her arms around the neck of a tall football player. The two then shared a deep kiss. I looked over my shoulder and stuck my tongue out at the two and then closed my eyes and as I opened them, I stood before the tank. The tank had been constructed of PVC pipes. Indeed plastic white PVC piping and sheets of clear. The plastic seemed the two main things used in the construction of the tank. Above the for pipes forming the frame there was a large clear tank. Thirty gallons of creamy stripped colored slop. The bottom layer was green, the second one snow white and the third and final layer was green as well.
“The hostage from Benton Academy is one Jamie Sarah Potter, she the little sister of Lily Elizabeth Potter, the second child of Albert Jonathan Potter and Alice Parker Potter. Albert and Alice own and operate Potter’s Mercantile. Potter’s Mercantile is one of the oldest business family own business in town. Having been in the ownership of the Potter Family for over two hundred years. There also a proud sponsor of the Benton Raiders!”
I took a deep breath and shook my head. None of that mattered now, I took a deep breath and eased my bottom down on the chair I provided with. Smoothing out my skirt I folded my hands in my lap and took a deep breath and waited.
The minute I stepped inside the tank, was the minute I heard a metallic click. I was now enclosed in this thing, trapped. Taking a deep breath I looked up and noticed a few drops of green slime starting to seep down from above me. Katie, the head cheerleader from Manchester Academy was grinning ear to ear as she walked over to the left side of the tank. Wrapping her fingers around the chain she peered at me and in a menacing tone of voice whisper to me.
“No hard feelings. But your team did lose the game.” She said as she gave the chain a hard yank and before I could catch my breath or respond, I felt something cold land on the top of my head. Soon, freezing cold gunk was rolling down my shoulders and pooling into my lap. It felt like I had just jumped into a very cold bath. My whole body was shivering from the cold as the thick, mud-like substance started to roll down the back of my top and down my front. Coating the training bra and causing me to shiver even harder.
My cheeks bloomed with color as I felt the runny mess work its way through my hair, matting it down and flatting the natural curls that formed at the end. My whole body felt encased and surrounded by this stick, sweet mess. And being a dork, I reached down and tasted some. It tasted like cake batter. So at least it was yummy!
“OMG.” I heard a voice say from beyond the tank. The gunge had upon the plastic, making it hard to see my surrounding. “JAMIE!” Judging by tone and pitch, I think that voice belonged to Joan.
“OMG! SIS!” That voice had to belong to Lily. Her voice was followed by a giggle. And another giggle and dozens of giggles.
“Dude! She looks something from those old black and white horror flicks they sometimes show on the Movie Channel!”
“She totally does! Man. It going to take ages to wash that off!” I heard Joan say to Lily who respond by saying.
“Yep, they drenched her good too! Guess we got our work cut out for us girls?” She tried to sound all business-like. But she soon feels into a fit of giggles.
At this point, I had just enough of there teasing and giggling. Feeling my cheeks burning like hot piece charcoal, I stood up and pushed open the door. And there, surround the tank stood the cheerleaders. All smiling ear to ear. As soon as I stepped out of the tank, Lily walked over to me and wrapped a big towel around my shoulder. The wind was starting to pick up now, and the bone-chilling northern wind was whipping across the football field. The football players were retreating back to the safety of the field house. There wound being dragged along with them.
“So we lost,” Lily said. “But. You were so brave!”
“Totally girl! You took that like a champ!” Joan said smiling.
“But honestly,” Lily said taking a deep breath as she holding up a small hand mirror. “They got you good. But we do need to get you into the shower. Like I said before, everybody going to get cleaned up for the dance. And as cheerleaders, we need to be there.”
I blushed again as I peered toward my reflection in the mirror. My once golden, blonde hair was coated in a thick layer of green and white slop. The whole front of the top was covered from top to bottom and the skirt was soaked to the gills. And large drops of gunge where starting to drop from the skirt onto the grass.
“Green a good color for you.” Came a voice far to the right.
We all turned our heads and there, still dressed in her cheerleading uniform was Linda, walking beside her was a huge man. He was dressed in a dark gray button shirt that was tucked into the waistline of a near pair of Jeans. The cuffs of the jeans were rolled over a pair of dark, brown leather boots.
“You Lily Potter.” The man said in a rough, demanding tone of voice. He gave my sister a hard look, before turning toward me and giving me a look that made my blood turn to ice. I saw the fires of hell flicking in her dark brown eyes.
“Yes sir,” Lily said in an unsure tone of voice. The other cheerleaders were now gathering around Lily with a few stepping in front of me.
“Perry Howard,” He said in a commanding toward of voice. “Father of Linda Howard. Now, my little girl told me, that you’re kicking her off the squad because you put your little brother there in some pretty dress. She also tells me that you’ve been playing some kind of dress up game. Now, I’m here to correct that.”
Lily took a deep and peered toward Mr. Howard and in a stern and commanding tone of voice said.
“Yes, Your daughter Linda had the nerve of calling my little sister a freak! She also pushed her down. As cheerleaders where called to love and care for the students. What she did violated the cheerleader code of conduct. And pending a review from our coach, she no longer allowed the cheer.” Lily closed her eyes and pressed on. “All the cheerleaders saw her pushing Jamie and insulting her.”
“Now you listen here!” He was starting to raise his voice. “I don’t know what kind of game your playing at here! But something gotta give! And somebody needs to teach you some respect! Because clearly your mom and dad are falling down on the job there!”
Despite being covered in gunge, I balled my first up and started to move toward the man. I was just about to step toward him when I felt a hand touch my shoulder. Joan stood there, I looked at her and she just shook her head. I blinked and she winked at me as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. The others now had their phones out and were recording the exchange between Mr. Howard and my sister.
“I kindly sir,” Lily said matching his voice tick for tack. “That you keep my mom and dad out of this!”
“Why you little.. You little smart mouth bitch!” He raised his hand and Lily stood there. And then I felt something light under me, I broke away from the girl holding me and rushed and threw myself between my sister and the man and then in a growling tone of voice I peered toward him and said.
“Don’t you dare touch my onnisan.,” I said throwing my arms out in and looking him dead in the eyes. His eyes narrowed and he snorted, he snorted so hard I swear I saw flames coming out of his nostrils. His eyes narrowed at me, and once more I swear I saw the fires of hell flicking upon those orbs.
“What did you say to me boy?” He said peering down at me. “You want to throw down? Why don’t you skip home and bake some cookies.” He said the last part with a sneer a mile wide.
“Touch my onnisan.,” I repeated again, my voice echoed and everybody was now watching us. “And I’ll end you..” As much as it hurt me, I forced myself to peer into those eyes and stay there. It was now a battle of will, in my mind, the world had melted away and it was only he and I. Two elemental forces, good verse evil. And in a more primitive way. Two clashing ideals. The old south clashing with the new south.
Finally he broke off. He turned toward Linda and in a bitter tone of voice.
“Come on girl. We gotta get away from here.” He said in a gentle tone of voice as he wrapped his arms around her shoulder. “Let get you ready for the dance. We’ll deal with this rabble tomorrow.” He said smiling.
“What did you say!” I bellowed as I watched him walk away.
He paused and froze and for a minute he turned around and gave me one the evilest looks I’ve ever seen across the face of man. It was a look of pure, unfiltered evil. One that made the hairs on my arms stand up on my neck.
“I said, we’ll deal with you rabble tomorrow. If your lucky, they might let you stay in school. I pay good money to give my daughter the best education possible in this hick town. And I’m not paying her to go to school with freaks like you.” He said smirking as he and Linda walked away.
I balled up my first and felt my self advancing toward him. But then something reached over and took me by the shoulder. I turned around and saw Joan, Lily and the others standing there, shaking there heads.
“Not worth it sister,” Lily said peering toward Linda as she walked away.
“Nah. Not worth it little sis.” Joan said peering toward the pair as they walked away. “Strike now and he’ll turn the law on you. Going to tell my uncle about this. He with the police, let old boy there get out of line once more. I’ll be sure to have him locked up down at the county bar hotel, bars on the windows and three square meals a day, no five stars. But better than buckwheat and black eye peans and hog maw.”
I blinked and blinked again. I opened my mouth. But I stopped and took a deep breath and started to count backward, starting with ten and ending in zero. Once I reached zero, I released the held in breath and sighed. The danger had passed for now anyway.
“You know.. You were pretty brave back there.” Lily said wrapping one arm around and smiling. “Since when did my little sis become such a warrior?” The last part was half teasing half admiration.
“She channeled her inner St. Joan, girl going to have the heart of a lioness and the looks of a princess. See how she stepped between you and that man? She taking a stand.” Joan said with a nod of her head.
All eyes turned toward Joan, including mine who was sitting there peering toward the retreating pair.
“A heart of a lioness. The strength of St. Joan, girl going places. And we going to stand behind her. That man, I don’t like him. There evil in his heart. And Linda, heck even Judas Iscariot sold Jesus for thirty pieces of silver and he was one of the twelve. Seems only right one of us will turn belly up when the cards were down on the table. Oh yes, she going to get her thirty pieces of silver too for turning your sister into the Headmaster. Where it goes from there, I have no idea.” Joan seemed deep in thought.
“But, right now, I say we get her all cleaned up and prettied up. I gotta go talk to some people. Let's say, I’m about to show Linda she not the only one with connections in this school, might come back to bite me on the bottom. But I got my proof in my phone right here. Enough to get done, what I want to be done. Be on your guard girls, keep all eyes open.” Joan then turned toward Lily.
“Might want to phone your folks too, tell them what happens.”
Lily nodded her head and stepped away to make the call.
“Joan?” I said finally. “Why are you doing this?”
Joan peered toward me for a minute, at first I thought I had upset her because her eyebrow arched up and her lips curled into a frown, then she took a deep breath and started to relax. She walked right up to me and wrapped her arms around me, and before I could catch myself I found myself being pulled into a tight hug.
“Because of hon. History often repeats itself. And if you don’t learn from it the first time around, you’re doomed to repeat it. And you keep repeating it till finally you wise up and learn from your mistakes. This town does not need another Sterling, one haunted water tower is enough. The witch that tormented that girl, is still doing her thing. She’s just lost her luster that all.” Her tone of voice was very cryptic.
“I don’t understand?” I said leaning my head to the side.
“Best you don’t. now go, get cleaned up.”
And with that, the other cheerleaders took me by the hand and guided me toward the school. While Lily and Joan vanished to handle their mysteries business. As I walked, I felt a sudden burst of excitement take hold of me. I felt alive. And part of something big!
And there another episode ends.
I was guided into the bathroom of the gym and scrubbed clean. I had every inch of me scrubbed and scrubbed, I had my hair washed and rewashed. It took around two good, hot showers to clean every trace of slop from my hair, skin and personal area. The warm water felt so good too. My whole world became a vision of colors, as the smells from the shampoo, body wash and lotions filled the air. Once I was “Clean” I was ordered to dry off with a warm towel. Once I was dry, they ordered me to lotion up, something about making my skin shimmer. It was all very confusing. I never knew girls went through so much effort getting ready for a big date.
I kept my mouth shut, complaining would only make things worst. For once my hair was clean, one of the girls started to brush it out with a brush. Once it was brushed out. I was fitted for a new pair of panties and training bra. Once those were on. I was ushered toward a chair, quickly I was forced to take a seat.
“Okay, Jamie,” Lily said taking a deep breath as she walked into the room. All the cheerleaders paused what they were doing and turned and gave Lily their full attention. “I handled that little problem. Coach agrees with me, Linda was way out of line with her little comment. Joan has already uploaded to her cloud. She holding it as leverage. The headmaster is down sick,” She paused to look me up and down.
I felt my cheeks flush with color as I watched her eyes travel down to the tips of my feet to my face. She then allowed them to rest on my chest. Blushing even deeper I wrapped my arms around me. Finally, after two very uncomfortable minutes, she switched her gaze away from me.
“Looking cute already. Okay, Jamie.” She clapped her hands and peered toward me. “Go out there and enjoy tonight okay? Dance, relax, flirt and do all the things. Have the time of your life okay?” She said winking at me. “And remember, at the stroke of midnight that when the party comes to an end.”
I nodded my head. Lily smiled and reached over and graphed a tube of lipstick. She removed the cap and leaned forward and smiled at me.
“Okay bring your lips together and pucker up.” She commanded as she held the lipstick out.
I closed my eyes and nodded my head as I puckered my lips up.
“Its tradition, the big sister always has the privilege of helping the little sister with her make-up for her first big dance. Normally mom would the one to do it. But since I dragged you into this mess. I’m going to be the one to fix your make-up and do your hair.”
And she kept her word. She did my make-up and curled my hair and helped me into the dress. She also helped me into the three-inch heels. Wearing heels came as a shock to me as well.. There something I never expect to wear. The dress sure, the shoes, not too sure.
“A total transformation,” Joan said smiling. “She has gone from creature from plant X to Bella of the ball.” She said looking me up and down. “Her nails could use a touch-up, but they're fine. Just the right amount of make-up, nothing too heavy, a light dusting. Considering her age, height, and stuff it fits.”
“I know, since she kind of new to make-up and stuff. I figured its best if I go light. She’ll tell me, if and when she ready to move onto something else.” Lily said putting back the beauty supplies. “We’ll princess, its almost time. Go take a breather while the rest of us finish up. Then we’ll go to the party.” She said winking again.
“Okay,” I said slowly getting up from the chair. I offered Lily a little smile and then moved toward the far side of the room. The others where all getting ready, each one was helping the other. Its one thing I noticed about girls, they're always there to help each other. One would curl somebody hair while another would do there make-up and another there nails. And then the one getting her hair done would do somebody else hair while somebody worked on her nails. Each one depends on the other.
In a way, there trust and need in each other reminded me of a phalanx. Each man was depending on the man beside him to keep his shield raised in battle. Likewise, these girls were depending on each other to always have their backs. These cheerleaders had taken Jamie under there wing, Jamie was totally different than James. James was shy and frail, Jamie was bold and strong. James would have never stood up to that man, Jamie did so without thinking.
I shook my head, a week or so ago my world was clear, everything was black and white, I knew where I stood and I had, for the most part, accepted that role. The role of being an outcast and floater. But that was a week ago, like just seven days, but it felt like it had been years and years ago. Slowly I placed my hand upon the window pane of the window I’d been standing by. The more I thought on this, the more I felt my eyes start to mist till a voice chimed in.
“Something on your mind?” A voice from behind me called out.
“Just thinking,” I responded.
“Don’t think too hard now, you're going to get wrinkles if you do.” The voice called out again. It was Joan, I could tell by her southern accent. Joan, I don’t think I’ve told you guys before has a very thick and deep accent. See there two kinds of southern accents there the “Low” tone. A prime example would be the old prime time television series “The Beverly hillbillies” the other was a “High” southern accent. Often heard from the lectern of your local Episcopal Church.
I nodded my head and resumed my thinking.
“A penny for your thoughts,” Joan said walking over and resting her arm on the edge of the window. “Because something is telling me something.”
“I’m lost Joan.,” I said in an honest tone of voice. “I feel, I feel like I’m standing at a fork in the road. And it's foggy so I really can’t see what lays beyond the fork, and to make matters worst. Standing before me is a hourglass. And the sand in the hourglass is almost gone. And I gotta make a choice, either left or right you know.”
Joan nodded her head.
“Gotta make that choice, either you going to keep living as Jamie. Cause I think Jamie has gone from being a cute little nickname we slapped on to you, I think has become her own person.” Joan said in a matter of fact tone of voice. “Going a step further, I think she been hanging around since you first drew your breath.”
I blinked and blinked again as I peered at her.
“Do yourself a favor tonight. Forget you’re a boy, think yourself as one of the girls. Dance with the boys, let them hold you tight. And at the stroke of midnight, go home and reflect. But before you go to bed, write down everything that happens to you. But write, as a girl would write. Explore your feeling, recount everything that happens, but not only recount but explore how you felt, what caused you to feel excitement or what filled you with dread.” Joan said smiling softly.
I nodded my head, soaking up her words like a sponge.
“Trust me.” She said grinning as she turned around and started to walk away. “When you take the next step, it's going to help. And talk to your mom and dad too. I gotta tell you, most of us are about to graduate in a year or so. You got around three and a half more years in this place. If you going to be Jamie, you need to get those wheels turning. As you said, the sand in that hourglass is running out.”
And with that Joan left me.
Taking a deep breath, I peered out the window once more. The reflection that greeted me was not of that shy little boy, but a girl who was on the cusp of womanhood. Somebody who wanted more to endure day after day, somebody who wanted to thrive and shake the world up. I owed it.. I owed it to that person to make the most of each day. And somewhere in my mind, a wall came crashing down and two sides, the Ying and the Yang finally fussed together to form one whole circle.
And another episode comes to an end.
The gymnasium was filled to the brim with people. Colorful streamers hung down from the ceiling, romantic music filled the air with a loud tempo. Toward the back, there stood at least two dozen men, all dressed in coat and ties. Each one refused to look each other in the eyes as they shifted their weight from one foot to the other. Some played with the cuffs of there suits, other kept playing with there watches. Others just stood there, their arms folded over there chest and their eyes firmly glued to the dance floor. No doubt they were passing around small brown bottles of bourbon around. Each one taking a nip of southern courage.
I’m not going to lie, I felt scared walking into that room. For the minute I stepped through the double metal doors, all eyes turned toward me. I felt my cheeks flush with color as I gently stepped into the sea of people. Boys turned around and looked at me with desire, that I did not mind. It felt good to be the center of attention for once, but the looks the other girls gave me caused my blood to freeze. A dozen or so girls, all seniors peered toward me with malice in their eyes. Among them was Linda, who upon spotting me leaned over and whispered something into one of the girls earn. The girl narrowed her eyes and turned toward her fellows and whispered something else. All of them then giggled, as if sharing a secret. And judging by the looks they where shooting toward me, it no doubts retained to me.
“Jamie,” A voice from behind me called out. I turned around and there stood Joan dressed in a shimmering white, strapless gown. Standing by her side was a tall, boy. He had short brown hair, lean as a railroad rail and had the most beautiful set of baby blue eyes I’ve ever seen in my life.
As my eyes traveled up and down him, I noticed he was wearing a casual pair of charcoal gray trousers, a black leather belt, a white button-down dress shirt, black tie, and black coat. His leather dress shoes had been polished till they almost shone in the dim light of the dance floor.
“This is my brother, my little brother,” Joan said smiling as she wrapped her arm around Ben’s shoulder. “Benjamin, this is Jamie... Jamie Potter, she was the hostage tonight. She kind of had a rough day, you know getting slimed and all. So I was hoping you could help her unwind.” She said with a wink as she pulled him toward us.
“Hello.” He said smiling as he reached down and took my hand into my hand. He gave it a little squeeze, his hands where rough and strong and made me quiver and shiver. Sure it was just a friendly handshake, but I was holding hands with a boy! A cute boy at that! At my first formal dance! My mind went straight to the gutter.
Joan must have noticed something. Because she coughed and stepped away from Benjamin and moved toward the girl's bathroom at the far end of the hallway. She looked over her shoulder and gave me a look. The look she gave me, made me blush a dark, dark red. I felt like a little girl who’s had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
“Jamie dear,” Joan said as she made a notion for me to follow her. “If you don’t mind, would you please follow me into the girl's bathroom. I need to fix your make-up.” It was more like a command than a request. She turned around and peered toward Ben who was rubbing the back of his neck with the back of his hand. Lily smiled as she walked over and gave her little brother a one arm hug.
“Hey, don’t worry. Jamie and I just need to have a little talk. Just go get some punch and maybe fix her a glass too. I’ll bring your date back safe and sound.” She said smiling softly.
“Kay.” He said smiling softly and walked off.
“Come on dear,” Joan said as she walked through the crowd, the crowd kind of divided to let Joan through. Kind of reminded me of that scene on the Old Testament. The parting of the Dead Sea or something.
We soon reached the girl's bathroom. The girl's bathroom was a lot nicer than the boys. The walls where baby blue, the title on the flooring was a coral pink. No lingering smells fouled the air, and above all, they had hot water, like really hot water. A rarity in the schools. And soap... So yes in Benton Academy the girl's bathroom had hot water and soap, in the boy's bathroom you had just plain cold water with a ration of soap or a sliver at best. Once we were inside, Joan leaned over the sink and started to fix her make-up.
“Okay, Jamie.” She started in a half lecturing, half scolding tone of voice. “If you're going to be a girl, there a few things you need to understand. First, women help women by giving them advice about being women. Two, an older sister will always look after her young brother. So, let me lay down a few basic ground rules for this evening with you.”
I blushed and nodded my head.
“Good, I like it when people listen, it makes my job so much easier. First off, when dating a guy that has an older sister. Its normal for the older sister to have a women to women talk with the girl. Kind of like, if you had an older brother, and you were dating a guy, your older brother would have a talk with the boy. So, even though I like you and I think you have spunk. We still need to have this talk, understand?” She looked up and peered directly into my eyes.
“I understand,” I said with a nod of my head. To be frank, I was a little concerned. There had been a shift in Joan tone of voice. She had gone from being friendly to well... Menacing I should say. She had flipped a total one-eighty on me.
“Good, now first rule. I’ll allow you to kiss him, but just once okay. Its homecoming, and despite what they say, everybody going to be kissing. So if you feel like giving him a good night kiss that totally fine. Okay, number two. Don’t toy with him. Ben, is like a down to earth country boy. He loves to hunt and fish, and he is a gentleman. Maw raised him right. If thing’s work out and you become Jamie and he likes you. You better give him all your loving and attention, cause I can bet you a new pair of a shoe girl, he’ll keep you close to his heart.” She paused and started to fix eyelashes
“Okay…” I said peering toward Joan. I had a feeling she was starting to ramble a little, but since she had helped me, I felt the least I could do was listen to her ramblings. Joan must have sensed that in my tone of voice because her tone of voice changed too. She fixed her make-up case and slipped it into her purse.
“You're not his first. The girl he was dating dumped him for somebody, most girls dream about dating a football player. Just like most guys dream of dating a cheerleader. I never understood that, but whatever it’s a fact. She wanted a big tall football player, what she got was a gentle giant. That was a no go, and she dropped him like a hot cow paddy.” She paused and peered into my eyes. “You ever an empty soda can under your heel before.”
“I have..”
“That was his soul. As I said, the boy is hurting right now. Be good to him, and he will give you the moon, the sun, and stars. I know, I’ve known him all my life.” With that, she stood up and smoothed out her dress. “We best be getting a move on. Your prince is waiting for you out there. Remember what I said, one kiss that’s all.”
And with that, another episode ends,
Once Joan and I finished our little talk, I kind of started to look for Ben. Once more I had to wade through the crowds of people, somewhere dancing and others where chatting, boys flirted with girls and girls flirted with boys. All in all, it was your average dance. Finally a few minutes of searching, I found Ben by the refreshment table. He offered me a small smile as he passed me the paper cup.
“Have a nice talk with Joan?” He asked as he raised his paper cup to his lips and closing his eyes he took a small sip of the punch.
“I did.” I said playing with the cup, “So, how was the game?” I respond. I looked down at the ground, I could feel my cheeks flooding with color. There seemed to be a wall between us, and both of us seemed to be doing our best to break through that wall. But despite our best efforts, we seemed to make very little, if any headway.
“It was okay, I guess. Coach put me in at the last. Being a freshman and all. At that point, we were pretty well gone. The thing must have been pretty rough... Being you being the hostage.” He said in a tone of voice that suggested he was struggling for words. “You were pretty brave though, do you know, do what you did.”
I shrugged my shoulders and started to play with my hair... Then I was saved, one of the seniors, who had volunteered to act as the disc jockey for the dance started to play a slow dancing song. Setting my cup down on the table, I offered Ben my hand and smiled sweetly at him.
“Would you like to dance?” I offered as noticed that all around us, people were breaking off into pairs. The lights were starting to dim and jerry-rigged disco ball that spun lazily above us started to cast shimmers of silvery light.
“Sure.” He said setting down his own paper cup. And so he slipped his strong hand into mine and took me by the hand and lead me onto the dance floor. And part of me felt okay with being lead onto the dance floor by this handsome boy I just meet. It felt even nicer to have him wrap his arms around and press me to his body. So many thoughts were racing through my head now, I could still feel the heat from the game in his big hands and that heat traveled from the palm of his hands, through the sheer fabric of my dress and into my bones and that feeling along made me quiver with delight.
Everything also seemed to slow down. The scent of his body spray filled my nose and made me see stars and hearts, his strong touch made my blood turn to ice water, as we moved slowly across the floor. I felt time and space slow down. Everything else seemed to just disappear, the whole of my world seemed just he and I.
Then through the darkness, I looked up and noticed how handsome he had appeared. His boyish features made my heart leap into my throat and made me blush. I took a deep breath and leaned in, and he leaned in as well, and before I could catch myself I found our lips meeting and we kissed. Pleasure filled my body and flooded every inch of me as our tongues touched. Sparks flashed in my mind, fireworks exploded and the flames of passion were lit.
Finally, after what seemed like an hour, we stopped to breathe. We both looked down at the ground, I could tell he was flushed and I was flushed as well. My first kiss, my first kiss had just happened. It had been James who was getting kissed, but Jamie... And I felt more like her, no... I was her. I will always be her. She was me and I was her.
“Dang girl.” He said blushed as started to slowly spin. “You kiss pretty well.” He said starting to pant. He looked down and smiled softly at me.
“You're not so bad yourself,” I said blushing as I peered toward him. “I would love to do a little more, you know a grand tour,” I said trying my hand at flirting with him. A deep, dark blush colored my cheeks as the words started to sink in, and I started to understand what I was implying.
He blushed and cleared his throat. I only smirked a little as I peered up at him. He looked away, blushing brightly, clearly lost for words. That caused me to giggle for some reason. I was quickly finding, it was fun to tease boys and to make them blush. There was nothing cuter than seeing a boy blushing and utterly lost for words. Nothing in the world could compare to it.
“May I have your attention please!” A voice called from the stage. A teacher dressed in a nice, simple black dress with black dress shoes was standing upon the wooden stage. She was holding a little envelope. “May I please have your attention, we're about to announce our homecoming queen and king. They will then crown are homecoming princess and prince. The four will share a dance. The homecoming queen and king will dance, and the homecoming princess and prince will dance. There then will one more dance before Rev. John Mark of Benton First Baptist church will lead us all in prayer.”
The women paused and peered toward the far side of the crowd. I followed her gaze and found she was peering at a middle age man with slick back black hair. He was dressed in a white button shirt, brown tweed trousers, and a matching brown coat. He was talking to Linda and her father. Both had their arms crossed and both were pointing toward me with there fingers. Both had looks of anger and raged painted on there faces, while the good preacher just stood there, his arm folded across his chest, one arm rested on his elbow the other stroked his chin as if pondering what his next move would be.
“Okay, first I’ll announce the homecoming king.” She took a deep breath as she opened the envelope, everybody paused and drew in deep breaths of there own and in the background, you could hear a pre-recorded drum roll being played. And then in a loud, booming tone of voice, she called out. “And our two thousand and eighteen Benton Academy homecoming king is…” She paused again as she removed a piece of paper from the envelope, she then read the name aloud. “Mr. Keith Wells!”
A tall, handsome man with deep auburn hair walked toward the Stage, he was wearing a three-piece suit and smiling from ear to ear. He was helped on stage by the boy P.E instructor who shook his hand. Then the teacher, I believe her name was Mrs. Skinner placed a sash around him and a crown. He then moved toward the mike and made a simple little speech.
Keith cleared his throat and leaned down and then in a very “Bro” manner of speaking, he started the customary five to six-minute speech. His speech, was pretty much him praising the effort of the football team, praising God and giving him thanks, offering praise to the football coaches and what not. I’m afraid to say I had to roll my eyes every other minute. Finally, that speech drew to a close, and everybody politely clapped.
The teacher nodded her head and cleared her throat as she stepped up to the mike and took out a second envelope, this one was a bright pale pink a sharp contrast to the deep blue one from before. She cleared her throat again as she shifted her eyes around the crowd.
“And now, our homecoming queen for the two thousand and eighteen seasons is…” Again the prerecord drum roll sounded in the background and with a dramatic flare she opened the thing and removed another piece of a paper. “Lily Elizabeth Potter!”
I blinked and blinked again as I looked around, my sister stood there blushing, she looked quite stricken, like she was not expecting that honor. I turned toward her and smiled She returned the smile and winked as she slowly started to pick her way to the top of the stage. The teacher placed the crown upon her head and the sash around her shoulder.
My sister then made a short speech, she likewise thanked the football for there hard fought game, thanked the cheerleaders for giving it there all. She then cleared her voice and like she always does, she took control. Once she cleared her throat, she closed her eyes and a small smile formed upon her face.
“I know we normally wait for this, but I’ll like to go ahead and crown the homecoming princess.” She said in an oddly commanding tone of voice. She opened her eyes and peered toward me.
“Normally, the princess has been the second most popular girl. Normal the best friend of the queen. I’m going to break with that tradition. The girl I’m going to name princess deserves the title. She started off as being a major pain in my bottom. But when I need a favor, she said yes without blinking an eye. When I was threatened, she stood up for me, This girl is going to make something of herself… Therefore it gives me great pleasure to name Jamie Sarah Potter as our two thousand and eighteen homecoming princess.” She called out in a firm, commanding tone of voice.
At that very minute, I felt like a ton of bricks had been dropped on my head. I could just stand there, my jaw slacked open and my eyes wide open. From social outcast to homecoming princess in just the span of a fortnight... Had the armies of heaven overthrown God, and proclaimed heaven a social republic... I doubt anybody even old hard nose Rev. John Mark over there would bat an eyelash when they compare the fact that I, a social outcast from the lowest rung of the social ladder climbed so high in high school society.
And there another episode ends.
I blinked and blinked again, had Lily really just called my name out? Taking a deep breath I peered toward Ben, smiled and leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. I then started to walk toward the stage. Where Lily stood, I was halfway there when I felt somebody reach over and pull me to the side. As I turned around to see who had graphed me and I was greeted with Linda peering at me.
“Enjoy being ‘Princess’ for the night.” She hissed as she leaned over. “I know what you are, you’re a freak and soon, soon I’m going to tell this whole town what you really are.” She said lifting her lips to show her teeth. And through those teeth, she hissed.
“And I’m going to make good on that threat. I know some really big football players that would love to have the little sister of the cheerleader. We're going to pick that cherry of yours, and no its not going to be fun, it's not going to be romantic, it's going to be horrible and I hope it shatters your mind.” She hissed as she eased her fingers from my shoulder. She then drew back and peered toward her giggling group of girls that surrounded her.
“I will see you in hell before that happens,” I whispered toward her. “That no threat girl, that a promise.” I marched toward the stage, my back straight and my head held high. I knew in a way I had done two things. For one I had drawn a firm line in the sand. And two I had crossed a line. But let come what will.
“We’ll see,” Linda said as she peered toward me. She then turned upon her heel, fixed each of the three girls she was with a look and started to make her way out of the gym.
My eyes followed her as she slinked away, the mental image of a cottonmouth slithering away came to mind. And that mental image made me shiver. I stood there for a good long minute, trying to collect my wits and trying to get my heart to calm down. Finally, I forced myself to take another deep breath and as I released I put the scene behind me. I then started toward the stage with my head held high and my back straight back.
And so putting one foot in front of the other, I made my way up on stage where my sister stood. She fixed a smile on her face. She turned toward the teacher and with gentle hands, she reached down and took the crown from the pillow it was sitting on. She then raised the silver circlet high into the air and walked toward me. Slowly she brought the tiara down and placed it upon my head. Next, the placed the sash on my shoulder.
I felt tears building on the corner of my eyes. My sister, the most popular girl in school, had chosen me, the outcast to becoming the princess. My sister smiled and leaned over and wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. She then leaned over and whispered into my ear.
“Don’t you dare start to cry on me. We worked way too hard on your make-up for you to ruin it now. Now, give a good speech and enjoy the night.” She ends the talk with her patting me on the back and breaking away.
“Okay..” I whispered back as I turned to face the crowd. Everybody had stopped doing what they were doing, dancing, flirting, chatting and evening snacking. Their attention was focused solely on me. Taking a deep breath, I walked up to the stage and peered down at the mike. Gathering up my courage, and my wit I started to speak.
“First, I want to thank everybody. The cheerleaders did an amazing job cleaning me up. I gotta say the slime bath was a little cold.” I paused as the cheerleaders present smiled and raised there foam cups in response of me thanking them. Some giggled others laughed as I mentioned how cold the gunge shower was.
“I also want to thank my sister, for talking me into this, this week has been a blast. I’m something of a shadow, so being the shadow of attention was find of fun, if not a little gross. I want to say the football players played really well despite the odds being stacked against them. I want to thank the teachers and all the student volunteers who helped to put on all the homecoming activities.”
The football players present nodded there head at me thanking them, the teachers also bowed there head in thanks as I mentioned their efforts. And since I felt it was time to end my little speech, I took a deep breath and in a loud tone of voice I yelled out.
“Go Benton Raiders!”
And the whole crow responded with “Go Raiders!”
And so that how everything ends. Ben was elected homecoming prince, and he and I danced the final dance together. We almost kissed again but at the stroke of midnight I had to leave, I remember shouting over my shoulder a promise that we’ll meet again and the poor boy just stood there. In my haste to get home, I remember tripping over one of the loose stones in the walkway leading up to the school. My shoe came to lose, I know as much as I heard it drop on the paving stones.
But being in a hurry to board the last streetcar, I had little time to bend down and pick it up. Instead, I had to climb onboard the streetcar and as I mounted the metal steps, I happen to look over my shoulder, there through the darkness stood Ben, himself nothing more than a dark silhouette upon the backdrop of the glowing background.
“You dropped your shoe!” He called out as he rushed down the brick paved walkway waving the other shoe in his hand in a manner one would wave a flag. The Trolley lurched to life and started to pick up speed, as I reached down, gathered the helm of the gown around me. Reaching up and taking hold of the hand bar for the support I called out.
“Keep it!” I called out. And with that, the trolley rocked around the bend and the school vanished into the night. It took me fifteen or so minutes to minutes for the trolley to drop me off in front of my house. Our house is an old, Edwardian located in the ‘Rich’ section of town. The streets here are paved in cobblestones and the sidewalks are brick. The streetcar runs down the center of the street.
I paid the conductor my two bits for the ride and stepped down. I then watched as the Trolley started to move again. My eyes followed it, till it rounded a curve in the street and then it vanished from view. And so it had ended.. My night of wonder and magic. I stood there for the longest time, peering up at the stars that twinkled over me, allowing the wind to blow over my exposed shoulder. It was then, I knew what I must do, Jamie had become real, she was somebody who was brave and sweet, somebody who wanted to Live.
James had been a shy, scared, often bullied little boy who had kept his head down and ran away from fights. Jamie, on the other hand, was a fighter, a warrior, she was somebody willing to stand up to the bullies and stand up for her right to live. Jamie had not replaced James, no, standing there I understood I had become Jamie, Like a butterfly...
And so, as I stood there thinking about all of this, I made a vow to myself. From this day forward, no matter what I was going to live, yes I was going to live my remaining days to the fullest. And once I made that vow, I felt something awaken deep inside me. The mental image of a wall coming down popped into my head, as she gray stones fell, shattered and turned to dust. The image of a girl appeared from the dust clouds. And I rushed and embraced that girl. And I felt whole inside.
The End.
To be Continued in ’The Trial of Jamie Sarah Potter’
Life returned to normal following homecoming. I decided to live as Jamie at home and as James during school hours. And Ben lets say I made another email account. ‘[email protected]’ it was a Jamie email, one for Jamie to keep in contact with all her friends. I had given this email to my sister, who had passed it onto Joan who had, in turn, passed it onto Ben. And that how Ben and I kept in contact with each other for the fortnight that followed homecoming.
But as the minutes, melted into hours and hours into days and days into weeks, I found myself almost thinking like Jamie. Small things, quickly became bigger things, and like a small snowball rolling down a steep hill, quickly transformed into really huge things. It started small, like me forgetting to wear boxers and instead choosing to wear panties. That lead to me coming to school with some nail polish still on my fingers from the weekend of clubbing (Going to the Skating Rink) with my sister and her circle of friends.
That lead to me, sometimes going into the boy's bathroom to apply make-up or freshen up my make-up only to stop when I discovered that I was in fact not wearing any. In all these matters, I thought nobody but me seemed to notice them. I was wrong, my peers had noticed them and the hard nose, crew cut, tie and button-down wearing male teachers had too.
Linda too seemed to be haunting my footsteps. Going from one class to the other I tended to notice her out of the corner of my eye. Standing around the corner, her arm’s folded and her eagle eyes scanning the hallway. Since her fallout with the cheerleaders, she has taken to hanging out with the more radical element of the school.
I would be lying if I said our school was not divided down social-political lines, those lines dived even the closet of friends. At the core of this divided where two groups. The first one was made up of the son’s and daughters of the farmers that lived and farmed around Benton. Most of them came to Benton in the land boom that followed the First World War, when a lot of the land that was before nothing but swampy hardwood bottomland, was cleared and drained and put under the plow if you will. They tended to flock around Benton First Baptist Church and held the words of there preacher the Rev. John Mark to be words of God.
They were in a way, the majority of the student population. The second and smaller group tended to be drawn from the small merchant class that had been in Benton since the town was founded. The Potter Clan had been among those who had first settled the area that would become Benton, the small settlement was then called Hanna’s Bluff, the source of the name remains’ a mystery. But oddly enough there is a headstone belonging to a “Hanna S. Potter” in graveyard attached to “St. Mary’s Episcopal Church”.
The date of birth for “Hanna S. Potter” is given as September 28, 1769, and the date of death is listed as March 19, 1834. If my brief and sketchy understanding of the local lore is correct, her date of birth and death covers the period when the settlement fist formed as “Hanna’s Bluff” then changed to “Benton” when the small settlement was granted the status of county seat of Yazoo County and also the status as a city. And finally the period it was demoted to just a minor town when the county seat, along with the records where moved to the then boom town of Manchester, later to be called Yazoo City.
But yes, those who belonged to the old merchant class and banker class tended to belong to the local Methodist and Episcopal Church. They tended to be more open minded And more welcoming of people like me, now this matters because the current headmaster was a strict Southern Baptist, who for lack of a better word, had a very narrow view of the world. To Mr. David McPhail, the world was divided into two colors, white and black. He was also on the extreme side of things, how extreme, I was about to find out.
The day started out as a normal school day. The first bell of the morning heralded the start of another day of note taking and lessons. The cloud of depression that had hung over the school had lifted following another smashing victory again Central Holmes Christine Academy. The rumor mill was starting to turn as well, hush whispers of the Benton Raiders reaching the playoffs were starting to be whispered by some freshmen football players. Manchester had also won their last game, and many of boy shivered at the thought of facing the Mavericks once more on the playing field.
Closer to home, another rumor was being passed around, okay it was more fact than a rumor, but rumor none the less that the hostage for the football game had not been a girl but in fact a boy in drag. This rumor had more profound and lasting effects. Some people felt that a boy playing the part has the hostage had ruined the sense of tradition, others noted that by a boy being present... The guarding deity of football had been offended and had justly removed its proactive hand of providence from the Benton Raiders for that night… That somehow explains why half the football team ended in the A&E ward of King Daughters Hospital.
All of that was swirling around my head as I entered into my first period ‘Natural science’ now the natural science classroom was located in the old part of the school. The classroom was small and lined with shelf’s, the shelves were lined with tall, one-gallon jars filled to the top with embalming chemicals that had long turned to brown. Small creatures such as frogs, tiny birds, and baby squirrels were all floating in the old chemical. Above them on the shelf’s coated with a good three or four inches of dust sat covered in spider webs and dust old metal pipes and copper tubing.
At the very back of the room was an old wooden cabinet. Through the yellow glass, we could see old bottles of chemicals. Each brown, dust coated bottle had a piece of peeling yellow tape glued to the center of the bottle. Long ago somebody had taken the time and effort to write with a pen what each bottle held, now the ink had long since faded and nobody dared to open the bottle.
I hated this room, it was hotter than hell in the summer and colder than a meat locker in winter. The room always smelled and sometimes the smelled made my asthma to act up. The teacher Mr. Henderson, was an old man with a hunch back and a balding head. His eyes were dark gray and his fingernails were long and yellow. He always wore the same thing day in and day out a dark, old gray suit.
It was Mr. Henderson who greeted me when I walked through the door.
“Mr. Potter.” He said in a croaking tone of voice. “The Headmaster would like to speak with you.”
I blinked and blinked again as I watched him snuffle across the dirty floor and toward his desk. He eased his bottom down into an old leather armchair that was as old if not older than he was.
“There a lot of people too, the preacher from the Baptist church there. There Ms. Perry and her father there seems they're finally going to set you, straight boy.” He said chuckling as he reached down and wrapped his bony fingers around a thermos. He removed the cap and poured a long stream of black coffee down into a mug that was dotted with coffee stains.
“I told you, boy, Get a proper damn haircut. People think you’re a girl, hell you act like one. If I had you back in the good old days, back when I first started to teach. I could have bound you up right here and sheered that pretty hair of yours. Go now boy, they're either going to tell you to get a proper haircut or tell you to get!” He shouted the last word as he started to choke on his coffee. For a good minute, he coughed and hacked and coughed and hacked till at last, he settled.
I balled up my fist and took a deep breath as I turned on my heel and marched toward the door.
“Wait a minute... If you please, Mr. Potter,.” He said in a coy tone of voice.
I stopped and turned around and doing my best to be polite, I peered toward the old man. I raised my eyebrows and fixed my eyes upon him.
“I hope they give you the boot. Benton Academy was founded to provide a classical education for the sons and daughters of the wealthy of this town. It was formed to keep the idea that this country was founded on pure. You, you sir.” He said standing up and taking a deep breath. “Sicken me, with your long hair, your gentle expressions, your soft hands. And worst of all, instead of learning Greek, Latin or Hebrew, you focus all your energies on learning that Japanese... Benton Academy does not need your kind here sir.”
I stood there, my blood started to boil in me. I saw red. I came within a hair’s breadth of walking up to the old man and slapping him upside his head. But... I could not, he was a teacher and I was a student. So, forcing myself to gain control.
“Mr. Henderson... Sir with all due respect. It's Jamie.” I said narrowing my eyes at him.
He blinked and blinked again.
“Say that again..” He said almost growling as he peered at me, I swear I saw the fires of hell flickering behind his eyes.
“My name, its Jamie Sarah Potter. And you will do well to note that in your grade book. As I’ll not be answering to James, or Mr. Potter anymore. Please address me as Ms. Potter.” I said with a wink and then with that I tossed my hair over my shoulder and marched out of the classroom. And behind me, I could hear him bellowing something that neither man nor beast could understand.
“You get out of here boy! You get out here! If I was your mom and dad, I would have your ass on the first train to Vicksburg! Let Chamberlin-Hunt straighten you out! Do you hear me, Mr. Potter! Do you understand me, Mr. Potter! Clean your ears out boy!”
And so my heart racing a million miles a minute. I walked down the hallway, wondering what awaited me.
And there another episode ends.
The minute I reached the office, the office secretary, greeted with a small smile. She was an older woman, her iron-gray hair was pulled back in a tight bun. Her outfit, a white button down blouse, tucked into the waistline of a black skirt was free of wrinkles and dust. White stockings and black dress shoes rounded out the outfit. And as she stood upon the old wooden desk, her hands folded upon the clean, highly polished surface. She fixed me with a look.
“Hello, Mr. Potter.” She said her small smile became one of a sinister. “The Headmaster is expecting you. Your mother and father are also here. They have a little business concerning you and what transpired over homecoming. A little bird told me, that a certain young man pulled the wool over the eyes of a lot of people.” She said grinning as she stood up and pushed her wooden chair back. She stepped out from behind the desk and motioned for me to follow her.
“Please,” I said taking a deep. “Its Ms. Potter,” I said in a forceful tone of voice. I knew I had to stand up for the person I believed I was called to be, I had to stand up for what I felt was right. I had to. This was my life, nobody else’s. And nobody else would run it but me.
The women turned around and glared at me. She then straightens her back up, fixed me with a look and in a deadly whisper said to me.
“Its high time you stop with that little game, Mr. Potter. I think this little meeting will change your mind. I heard Rev. John is a wonderful preacher. He’s been invited to help you, with your problem. We at Manchester Academy strive to instill a sense of boldness in our students.” She said state as she weaved her fingers together.
“And we do not like our boys, to prance around here pretending to be girls. This is not some state-funded, bedlam. This is a private school, founded on Christina morals, guided by Christina ethics. You will do well to remember that... Mr. Potter.” She lectured as she guided me down the hallway toward the headmaster's office. She then stopped in front of a door, a brass plate in the center of the door read “Headmaster”,
“Here we go. Mr. McPhail is waiting for you.” She said in a tone of voice that was just an octave above yelling. You could sense the tension in every world.
“Thank you, ma’am,” I said smiling. “But again, it's Ms. Potter, not Mister,” I said as I reached down and wrapped my fingers around the brass door handle. If looks could kill, I would be dead as a doornail, for as soon as I said that she gave me a look that would have slain a basilisk.
Once she was gone, I took a deep breath and entered the office. I was greeted by a crowded room, to one side stood my sister, Lily Potter, and my mom and dad. Fr. Brown was also there They all stood to one side, to the other side stood Linda, her father, and the Rev. John Mark. And in the middle sitting behind a big old desk, there could be seen the headmaster.
The headmaster was a big man, big as in he was tall and well built. In his long forgotten youth, He had been the star quarterback for the Benton Raiders. He later graduated from Benton Academy, studied at some school up north of us, graduated with a degree in History I think, before returning to coach the football program. Using his leadership skills, and tactics the Benton Raiders defeated the Manchester Mavericks only ever record homecoming victory. The hostage for Benton that year was some cheerleader by the name Ginger Jennifer Evens and the hostage for Manchester was some girl by the name of Isabella Mari Upton... Anyway, that little bit of lore out of the way. The man is a total dick, and snake.
“Mr. Potter, it’s a pleasure for you to finally join us.” The headmaster said as he took a deep breath. “Please have a seat, we have some business we need to handle. And a few problems that need to be solved before they become bigger problems.” He said in a tone of voice that reminded of a snake oil salesman.
“It's Ms. Potter,” I said taking a deep breath moved toward my mom and dad. Dad wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him. Mom stood behind me and placed a loving hand upon my shoulder. Lilly stood beside me. Without saying a word she reached over and wrapped her fingers around mine and gave my hand a squeeze. I was surrounded by my family.. My heart was fit to burst.
“Yes about that. Where about to address that.” He paused and shifted his eyes toward the Rev. John Mark. “Brother Mark, would you please tell us what the good book has to say about that.” He leaned back and smiled.
“With pleasure Brother McPhail. We only need to look to First Corinthians chapter eleven verse fourteen to find why this poor child has already strayed from the one true path. As Paul writes to the Corinthians in this book. ‘Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him.’ By allowing this boy to grow out his hair. His mother and father have not only brought shame upon there son but upon there lovely daughter and themselves.” He said in a commanding tone of voice.
I felt my cheeks flush with color. They burned a deep dark red. I felt my fathers arm start to tremble. I looked up and noticed his eyes seemed hard as ice.
“Allow me to say something.” He said removing his arm from my shoulder and walking toward the pastor and then toward Mr. McPhail. “I did not come here to talk about my daughter's problem. I came here to address an issue that happens during homecoming. There around a three-minute clip, floating around social media of this man.” My father said with a nod of his head toward Linda’s father.
“A three-minute clip of this man. If he can be called that, yelling at my daughters, That why I’m here. How I raise my children is my own personal business sir.” He turned around and gave Mr. McPhail a look that could melt ice.
“As Headmaster, how do you plan on addressing this problem, sir?” He said with forced politeness.
Mr. McPhail took a deep breath and started to shift his weight around a little. He cleared his throat and then peered toward my father. And then he peered toward Lily, a small smirk formed upon his face as he peered leered toward my older sister. I noticed the look, and so did my mother who wrapped her arm around Lily shoulders and held her close to her.
“I’m aware of that little fight. It seems Ms. Potter took it upon herself to remove Ms. Perry here from the Cheerleading team over a few off colored comments made toward Mr. Potter. I think Mr. Perry was only trying to find justice for his daughter. While Ms. Perry did act out a little, I don’t think her actions warranted the punishment she was given.” He said smiling ear to ear as he slowly dripped the words. Each word seemed as toxic as droplets of acid.
“And your point.,” Lily said as she snuggled into moms embrace.
“My point is this Ms. Potter you overstepped your authority. Since you’ve proven to us, I think beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can not properly manage the cheerleading team. I think its best if we remove you from your current office.” He cleared his voice and smirked. “In short, you're no longer cheerleading Capitan, and you're no longer on the team. You may try out next year to get your spot back.”
Lily looked like she was about to break down in tears as Mr. McPhail told her that. Her face drained of color and her eyes became moist. She buried her head into my mom's chest and started to cry. As the sound of her crying filled the office, I noticed Linda just stood there, her arm’s folded across her chest. She wore the smuggest look I’ve ever seen a human being give another one.
“With all due respect sir,” I said taking a deep breath. “I’m afraid.. That will do more harm than good.” I said smirking a little as I felt all eyes turned toward me.
Silence.
“That video so far has only been shared a few hundred times.” I said peering toward Mr. McPhail, “Its no telling how many people have downloaded it... Even if you remove it, somebody else could upload it again and again and again. It's hard to remove something that been uploaded to the internet.” I said smirking. Following homecoming and at the urging of Joan I had downloaded a copy of the clip.
I swear it was like somebody had sucked all the life out of the room. All eyes were glued on me.
“For example, let's say that video made its way into the mainstream. Think of the long-lasting effects that would have on the school, and your career as well.” I closed my eyes and folded my hands in my center. “It like taking a ton of firewood, and soaking the stuff in gas. It takes just one little match to set the whole thing ablaze.”
“What are you proposing Mr. Potter..” Mr. McPhail said as turned his leering gaze away from my sister and toward me.
“First, cut the ‘Mr. Potter’ business, please either call me Jamie or Ms. Potter.” I said holding up one finger. “And before we go any further. You will agree to address me as such until informed by either me, my sister or my mother and father.”
It was now time to play hardball.
The Headmaster peered at me for a good long minute before leaning back in his chair. He shifted his eyes around the room and finally brought them back to me. A ghost of a smile formed upon the bowl of his lips as he folded his hands on the desk and leaned int.
“James Christopher Potter, I don’t see this going in your favor. Because standing in front of me, I see a boy, with long hair, that in clear violation of the school rules. I’ve been letting you get away with that boy, now, instead of getting down on your knees, as you should be, you're standing up to me.” He raised his lips to show his teeth.
“I think, you should go downtown right now. There a nice little barber shop down there, go in there and tell them you want a real haircut. Then come back here... Show me it and I’ll let you stay in school. You and that sister of yours. Otherwise, you can pack up your things, and transfer to the city schools. The choice is yours.” He said smirking.
I was about to snap out when I felt my dad touch my shoulder, I looked up and saw him smiling. He winked at me and stepped forward. He cleared his throat and then in a loud, booming, commanding tone of voice called out.
“That sir would be in clear violation of a longstanding agreement the Potter Family has with the School Board. If you remove MY daughters from school. With as far as I can tell, neither having done anything wrong. Or harmed anybody. Then the half the land this school sits on, will be returned to the Potter Family. As you know, my grandfather Sherman Potter, allowed the school to build on his land.” He smiled and tapped his foot down on the ground. “The original deed and contract are at home in the family safe. A copy of the deed and contract is also stored in City Hall and at the Court House in Yazoo City.”
“And..” The headmaster’s face was turning a dark, blood red.
“If you REMOVE my DAUGHTERS.” He said adding a little force to the words ‘Remove’ and ‘Daughters’. “Then you will break the first clause of the contract. Saying that as long as the school is open. Any descended of him, that being Sherman Potter shall have the right and privilege to attend this school, as long as they obey the school rules, are respectful and maintain their grades.”
“YOUR SON HAS ALREADY BROKEN A RULE. HIS HAIR IS TOO LONG. HE LOOKS LIKE A GIRL, MAN, DO YOU HAVE NO PRIDE IN YOURSELF.” He bellowed as he stood up and slammed his hands hard on the desk. The sounds of the open palm’s slamming into the desk caused us all to jump.
My dad just stood there and took a deep breath. “There nothing in the rules about being Transgender. If my son is my daughter then so be it. Since you’re a big fan of the bible. Read the book of Genesis, starting at chapter one verse twenty-six.” He cleared his throat and then in the same tone of voice he uses when he reads the lessons at Sunday Mass he said.
“Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” He paused and added. “The word of the Lord.”
“Thanks be to God.” Mom, Lily, Fr. Brown and I said as we crossed ourselves.
The Headmaster, Linda, and Mr. Perry just stood their mouths hung open. And after a long pause, the headmaster cleared his throat and said.
“Well, I guess..” He paused and shook his head. “I guess I’ll need to address the school board about this. If this young man..”
“Women.” Dad corrected as he peered toward the headmaster.
The headmaster took a deep breath and balled up his fist.
“Fine, women.. Is going to be attending school.” He grinned as if he found an ace in the hole. “I demand she at least wear the female uniform. A white button-down blouse, pleated skirt, white stocking, and black dress shoes. As you know, there is a small clothing shop here. I suggest, buying at least three sets of uniforms and at least one Girls P.E uniform.” He said smiling softly.
“Done..” I said without thinking. “I want that in writing..”
The Headmaster blinked and drew back in his chair, he then peered toward me, he then reached down and picked up a piece of paper. “Of course, Ms. Potter anything else..”
The Rev. John coughed and all eyes turned toward him.
“I must object to that. The boy is clearly insane, demons have tainted his mind. I suggest we pray the demons out of this boy. You sir, as headmaster of this school, must stand firm. Do not be tempted by the evil spirits that surround this boy. Do not give in to the pressure. Stand firm, brother stand firm and throw back the legions of hell that will use this, poor, wayward soul as a gateway to doom! Doom I say all the poor, gentle lamps of this gentle floor to the everlasting fires of hell.”
“You are a fool.” Fr. Brown said before any of us could speak. “Jamie is a sweet, kind, and loving girl. She one of our Acolytes. I’m proud to have her help with the celebration of the Mass. She a very devoted girl, attending almost all Sunday Services and midweek services.” His tone of voice was raised when he came to the next part. “If the prince of darkness, has chosen a vessel to launch an attack on this school. He’s chosen a might strangle one.”
Fr. Brown walked over to me and smiled as he placed his hand upon my shoulder. I looked up and saw him smiling down at me. He then looked down and in a very stern tone of voice asked me.
“Jamie, if you serious about this. Then as your spiritual director. I would recommend that this coming Sunday, we have an Affirmation of Baptismal Faith.” He paused and took a deep breath before pushing on. “Since according to what I understand, you will be coming to school dressed as a girl, you will be addressed by your chosen name, Jamie or Ms. Potter. I feel its only right that as rector of St. Mary’s Episcopal Church and spiritual father of this parish. That I welcome you into the community using your new name.”
I blinked and blinked again. The headmaster sighed. It seemed to have the local Episcopal Priest throwing his weight behind my cause counted more than anything I could muster. I kind of felt sorry for the man. He seemed caught between two opposing forces.
“This is bullshit.” Mr. Perry said taking a deep breath. “I don’t give a hoot what you people believe in, I’m here to say that I don’t like the fact that my daughters going to be attending school with a freak like that boy right there. I pay good money to send my daughter here. And you people are ruining her high school experience. This is supposed to be a god fearing school.” He bellowed.
“Your daughter! My former friend, threatening to have the football team, rape my little sister!” Lily belled as she looked up and shot Linda a look. “She waited to the last minute to voice her concerns, and then when all was said in done, she acted like a total jerk toward Jamie, she was not only rude to her, but shoved her down and threaten her safety. That why she was removed from the cheerleading squad. If I’m to demoted and kicked off the squad for defending my little sister. Then I demand that Linda Perry also is expelled from school.” Lilly bellowed at the top of her lungs.
All eyes then turned Linda, who stood there with her arms folded around her chest. The color was slowly starting to drain from her face. Her father and moved close to her and wrapped left arm proactively over her shoulder. And the Rev. John Mark just stood there behind the two. In a way, I felt the tide was starting to turn. Everything was coming to a head now. No half measures this time. We either carried the field today or surrender all chances of victory. And so surrounded by my loving family I waited to see what would happen now.
The Headmaster took a deep breath and peered toward me for a very long minute. Finally, he turned his attention toward Linda then he turned his attention toward Lily. After three minutes of silence, he pushed his seat back and stood up.
“What happens... Over the course of homecoming, does not reflect the values of the school. But I feel we should put that all behind us, don’t you all agree. I think I’ll let this matter rest.” He paused and walked over to nearby happen... he stood in front of the window, is back turned to us and his arms folded behind his back.
“Young lady, if you wish to address as Jamie, then I will inform the staff. The teachers will either address you as either Jamie or Ms. Potter as you wish. But you must follow some rules. The first rule, you must use the staff bathroom for either personal business and change into your P.E uniform. The second rule, you must wear the female uniform. And three, you must try to live and act as a female at all time. If you agree to follow all three of these rules, then I can agree to let you keep attending this school.” He said in a firm, commanding tone of voice.
“I can do that,” I said nodding my head. “But what about Lily? And the threat Linda made?” I questioned, I was not about to let that go.
The headmaster took a deep breath as he turned around and peered toward Lily and Linda.
“I’ll still say that Lily acted a bit unfairly when she was dealing with Linda. But despite that, I will allow Lily to remain being the captain of the cheerleading team. But only if she allows Linda to rejoin the squad. Now what Linda said and did was still wrong, and I feel she owes you, Jamie, an apology.”
Linda blushed and looked down.
“Don’t you agree, Linda?” He said peering toward her with cold as ice eyes.
Linda took a deep breath as she walked over to me. She stood before me, a small smile crossed her face as she peered down in front of me. I could see her teeth just beyond her lips, then in a voice that was as greasy and slippery than cooking oil, she said.
“Sorry for the way I acted back there. It was very rude of me,” She tone of voice was almost a mocking one. A short of a singsong tone of voice. “Sorry if I hurt your feeling at all, JAMIE.” She added in the end. As she held out her hand.
From where I was standing, I could see Lily glaring at her, mom as well. Dad just stood there, his eyes fixed on Mr. Perry. Fr. Brown just stood back, watching the whole thing. On Linda’s side, her father stood there looking very impressed as if Linda had just gotten down on her knees and begged for forgiveness. The Rev. John Mark just stood there, holding an old leather bible in his hand, his eyes turned toward heaven as if wondering what was to come of this madness. The Headmaster just stood there, his eyes fixed no on Linda but on me.
Taking a deep breath, I walked over and took the offered hand. And for the longest sixty seconds of my life, we shook hands. Till at last, she released my hand, she then reached into her skirt pocket and pulled out a small vile of liquid soap, she poured a tiny drop of it into her hands and started to rub.
“So.” The Headmaster said taking a deep breath. “I think that settles the matter altogether.” He looked up at the time and smiled. “Why don’t we break today, it been an emotional rollercoaster. Linda, why don’t you and your father go ahead and go home for the day. Same with you Jamie.” He said smiling as he stood up.
“I’m glad we could solve this problem.” He paused and turned his eyes toward me.
Then something happens. A woman, around the age of twenty, entered into the room. She had short brown hair and wore a battered breastplate over a cotton skirt. She gentle glow surrounded her. The area around her had turned gray and nobody else seemed to notice her. The women peered toward me and nodded her head as she reached down and drew from her scabbard from her side a sword that gleamed like pure light.
The light from the room gleamed upon the polished blade. She then advanced toward me and placed the sword, hilt first into my hand and then in a slow voice, she said to me.
“Courage of Catherine, who will never run from battle. The sword of Saint Michael the defender of the weak and powerless, the blood of Saint George that slew the dragon. These I give to you my sister.” She said in a voice that came from within my head as crazy as that sounds.
As I reached out and wrapped my fingers around the hilt of the sword. I felt a sudden power surge fill me from one corner of my body to the other. The sudden powerful onrush knocked me down... I feel down to one knee and for a minute I sat upon the dust covered floor, the whole area around us colored is shades of gray or black and only I and the strange women had any color to us.
“Defend the weak, tend to the sick, love the poor and care for the wounded. This is the mission our Father in heaven has charged you with, Jamie Sarah Potter. He has given you, the courage of Catherine, the sword of Saint Michael and the Blood of Saint George, and as sent me, Saint Joan to be your guide, your mentor, your sister. Rise now sister and take to the field and repel him who crawls.”
And with that, the women vanished. And when I came too, all eyes were fixed on me. Linda was the first to speak.
“Welcome back to earth JAMIE.” She said smirking as she peered toward me. “Enjoy the trip to outer space, see any little UFO’s while you were up there.” She said in a teasing tone of voice.
Linda smirked, her father openly laughed and the headmaster laughed.
“Linda is off the cheerleading team, If you put her on the team, I will go to the police, get a lawyer and share that clip with everybody. Half of the cheerleading team heard her. If you also remove my sister from the cheerleading team. I promise to do the same.” I paused and lifted my eyes toward the Headmaster.
“You will also.. Allow me to attend school as Jamie. As I have accepted Linda’s Apology..” I said finally folding my arms across her head. I then fixed the headmaster with a look, and I saw him draw back into his chair, his eyes shifted from mine and he looked down on the ground.
“OH MY GOD.” Linda bellowed. “ENOUGH IS JUST ENOUGH.” All eyes turned toward her as she peered toward me. “Like none of you have a backbone or anything. You're letting some bitch boy talk down to you guys. Dude, don’t ever say my name again okay. Its fucking creepy hearing my name come out of your mouth.” She then peered toward me. I smiled toward her.
Then in the blink of an eye, I felt something, something slammed into me. I saw bright, colorful orbs of light flash before my eyes. I then felt a sharp pain flood one side of my face. My mouth seemed to be filled with the taste of blood and I felt sharp waves of sting traveling up and down my body. I bent my back and wrapped my arms around my eyes and whimpered softly as more and more waves of sting and hurt rolled over me. The light in my world started to fade.
But before total darkness fell. I heard voices. Voices surrounded me.
“This is assault!” It was daddies voice. “I’ll be pressing charges after this!”
“MY BABY!” It was mommies voice.
“SOMEBODY CALL 911... SOMEBODY CALL A AMBULANCE..”
Then almost faintly I heard somebody standing over me, holding my hand and crying. Between sobs, she coughed out.
“I never intended this to happen to you. I never wanted this to happen to you, I always loved you. Please, Jamie, wake up... Please, Jamie, wake up.. I.. there so many things we need to do together. Please... Sis..” And the voice broke down in tears. And then my whole world became dark.
To be continued in The New Life of Jamie Sarah Potter
Slowly I opened my eyes. I was laying down... The first thing I noticed was an IV tube had been put into my wrist. The second thing I noticed was all the walls where write and the third thing I noticed was the smell of iodoform, that is that disinfectant that hospitals use. Its what gives them their unique smell. And given I was laying in a hospital bed, with an IV hooked up to me and the pale blue privy currant wrapped around the area. I concluded that something must have happened.
I slowly closed my eyes and tried to think back what happens. My rips hurt like hell, my head feels numb. I felt like somebody had honesty took a four-wheel drive truck and ran me over not only once but twice. The only thing I remembered was standing in the headmaster's office, then that bitch, Linda walking over to me and slapping the dog shit out of me... Just thinking about that brought waves of pain coursing through my body.
“Jesus..” I said opening my eyes again as I forced myself to sit up. I noticed somebody had undressed me because I was not wearing my school uniform, no instead of wearing a button-down shirt and gray trousers, with heavy woolen socks and black sneakers, I was clad in only a thin... Pink hospital gown, at least the gown was pink...
“Where the hell am I?” I’m aware I had already answered my question. But still, I had to ask. At that moment the current was pulled to the side and there stood a nurse. Standing beside the nurse was a doctor. And behind the doctor stood my mom, dad, and older sister. Standing behind them was a man and women I’ve never seen before.
“Welcome back to the world of the Living Mr. Potter.” The doctor said. He said smiling as he reached down and removed the chart somebody had clipped to the end of the bed. “You had us worried there. Nurse, could you please check is temperature.”
I opened my mouth and then I closed it... The nurse smiled as she used some weird looking machine to check my temperature. “104.5 Doctor.” The nurse said taking a deep breath. “Four points of fever doctor. We’ll get you something to bring that down hon.” She said patting me on the shoulder.
The doctor made a note on the chart.
“We’ll keep you overnight then. Just to be on the safe side.” He then took a flashlight and a stick of some kind and started to poke around me. It felt weird having somebody shine a light into your eye and shove and stick down your throat. In the end, it was concluded that I might have a small touch of the Flu... Anyway, the doctored told the nurse I need some kind of medicine and she skirted away to get it. Leaving me with the good doctor and my family, who at this point had remained quiet.
“So, Jamie... Remember what happened at all?” He said pulling up a seat and going over to my side.
“I remember seeing cartoon stars..” I said in an honest tone of voice. “I remember seeing balls of light and hearing voices.” I paused and peered toward him. “It was something straight out of those old cartoons, you know when something heavy falls on one of the characters. And all around them they see those stars, but they're not, really stars per se, but they look like those stars you draw in preschool.”
Mom at this point broke down crying and dad and Lily wrapped her their arms around her. I could hear her sobbing something along the lines “They hurt my baby, they hurt my baby!” over and over again. It made me blush, mom has never fussed over me. Neither has a dad, I guess being a girl is different than being a boy.
The doctor nodded his head and cleared his throat.
“Linda Perry, attacked you, Jamie... In fact, she knocked you out. No doubt you did see stars. She also did a number on you. But nothing too bad. I mean nothing compared to the last home game you guys had. Man the waiting room was overflowing. It was like something from the old sitcom NASH.”
I blinked and blinked again and I swear the color just drained from my face. I could only be in one hospital, and that was the local hospital. The sign out front read KINGS DAUGHTERS HOSPITAL but we all knew it as ‘King Slaughters’. There a reason behind that colorful nickname. The hospital was old and acted more like a band-aid station than a hospital. Meaning the minor things they could deal with. Like, say the seasonal outbreak of the flu or the common cold. They also seemed good at patching up the Benton Academies Football Team... But anything major though. And you’ll find yourself being loaded up in a meat wagon, that local slang for an ambulance and hauled off to Jackson.
The doctor cleared his throat and pressed on though and that brought my rambling mind back on task.
“But yes, as it happens, you were attacked by Ms. Perry. Going on the police report filed on her behalf, she claims at the time she was filled with ‘Rage’ and ‘Anger’ because and these are her own words. So please don’t take offense. ‘That some transgender freak of nature’ dared to use name. And that what she’s claiming caused her to snap out. Now a test was run, and that revealed she has a number of emotional and mental problems. She was on medication, but the Rev. John Mark, the pastor of First Benton Baptist Church, has urged her to stop taking them claiming and these are his words ‘The Devil is sending the demon of Anger after you! You must pray away the demon through prayer and fasting!’ and so fearing ‘For her soul’ She stopped taking them..”
I blinked and blinked again. My mind started to become foggy.
“Right now she in St. Dominic’s.. receiving some much needed medical care. The school still debating what to do. But the deacon’s of First Baptist has already removed the Rev. John Mark following what happened at the headmaster's office. It seems endangering two young people was more than enough.” Dad said looking down. “I know its hard, but we must pray for Linda, her aunt pulled me aside while they were treating you. The poor girls has been going through a lot since her favorite aunt died this last winter. Her aunt was kind of like a second mother to her.”
I nodded my head again and leaned back. My eyes started to feel heavy and all I wanted to do was sleep.
“Aright.. he needs rest. And visiting hours are over.” The doctor said standing up and peering toward the group of people who had gathered around my bed.
I wanted to correct him, but then I remembered I was still legally James C. Potter... My head started to fill heavy. The rays of light from above felt like a thousand needles sticking into my eyes. The whole room started to swirl around me, and all I could do, all I could do was just lay there and try to take shallow breaths.
“Hey, Jamie.” I heard a voice whisper.
“I want you to know, I’m going to make good on that promise okay? One day... Like maybe next week maybe sooner. But you and I are going to the movies together. I know there that anime movie coming out, the one with the huge robots and the stuff. So, we're going to go see that. I promise you... So get better kay?” I felt something warm touch my forehead and the same voice whispered again. “Love you, sis, sleep, well princess.”
I fell into a dreamless sleep after that, okay almost dreamless. I found myself standing in a field, the sky above me was a darkish red. No sun or moon appeared to mark the passing of the days. The air, cool and crisp remained, as there was no sun or moon to mark the passing of day into night, there was no way one season could end and another begin. I had neither watch or phone, so the passing of seconds and minutes and hours could not be marked, but with neither sun or moon, what was the point?
The whole dream was just me standing in that field, peering up at a moonless, sunless, starless sky.
The morning sun chased away the strange dream. As soon as I opened my eyes, I noticed the IV bag was now empty and standing at the bedrail was mom and dad. Standing beside mom and dad where the two people from the day before. And beside them stood Linda?! Linda was dressed in a pale blue dress. Her hands were folded in front of her and her black hair was tied back and styled with a pale blue boy. Her eyes were firmly fixed on the ground.
“Good morning Jamie.” The man standing beside Linda said. He offered me a small smile and reached out his hand. Trembling, I slowly lifted my hand and took the offered hand.
“Hello, sir…” I said. I was aware that my voice was trailing a little.
“Please, call me William. I’m a lawyer. Your father contacted me. See, I help people like you. Teenagers that are transgender. I have a niece around your age, she lives here in Benton. Well, she and her older sister. I’m sure you’ve heard of her. She seems to be making a big splash here.”
“I knew that girl would become a little darling. I still need to take her shopping. Maybe this coming spring we can do a little shopping spree.” The blonde women said. She blushed and cleared her throat as she offered her own hand. “Where are my manners? Please pardon me, dear, I’m Isabella Bell. And this is my husband William Bell. He’s a lawyer and I’m a former nurse turned housewife.”
I blinked and blinked again as I nodded my hand.
“Linda, I believe you have something to say.” He said shifting his eyes toward Linda who shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She sniffled and looked down at the ground. Tears started to form at the corner of her eyes as she opened her mouth and then closed it.
“Come on dear. It's okay,” The women said giving Linda shoulder and gently squeezing it.
“I’m sorry Jamie..” She said finally. “I sorry for all the harm I’ve done. I attacked you, put you in hospital. I even wanted you to get raped. I don’t know why. I just felt like you deserved it. That was wrong of me. Nothing I can say or do can take back what I did back there. You don’t have to forgive me. But I’ll to make it up to you somehow.. Somehow in the future... I hope..” She then broke down and started to really cry.
The blonde women, reached over and wrapped her arms around her and then guided her out of the ward. The sound of her sobbing followed the pair. Through the haze of the painkillers still working there magic on me, I watched them go... Feeling numb and dumb.
“Well.. Now that out of the way. You and I need to talk some business. Now I feel you deserve an update. Linda will not be returning to Benton Academy. She coming to live with me and my wife. Her father needs some time alone. He’s still recovering from a very nasty divorce. So you don’t need to worry about her.”
I nodded my head. It might be a sin and an offense to God, but I was happy as heck to hear that.
“Anyway, I’ll let you rest for a while. The doctor will be around to release you soon. If you ever need any legal help, remember I’m here for you. The Potter and Bell Family are old friends.” He looked up. “Also, my wife has a little going away gift for you.” He said smiling softly as he stood up and brushed off the front of his trousers.
“Since your being.. I’ll say going to be baptized again tomorrow. Using your new name. My wife and I, thought it best if we got your size from your mom.” He said blushing as he reached under the bed and pulled out a very long box. He placed the box down upon the bed. “Isabella picked it out for you.”
I blinked and tilted my head to the side, as I reached down and removed the top from the box. The sight that greeted me was one of the finest, whitest gowns I had ever seen in my life. I had seen such gowns in the display windows of the fine boutiques of Ridgeland, Madison, and Clinton.
“It's very pretty..” I said taking a deep breath as I gently placed the top back down. “Thank you so very much..” I said struggling to find the words to convey how I truly felt.
“And from me.” He reaching down and pulling out his wallet. Opening the wallet he pulled a small gold card, he handed me the card and smiled. “Here a little gift from the Bell Family to you, a early Baptism gift.” The card was a Visa Reward’s card. The ones you preload with money.
“Why?” I said blinking as I titled my head to the side. “Why are you guys doing all this for me?”
William took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair.
“Jamie, our two families have been friends for years. You're starting a new period of your life. And as an old friend of the family, I should give what I can to help you. You have a long road ahead of you. There a lot of legal things you need to work through.” He said in a somber tone of voice.
I nodded and placed the card on the table and once more I leaned back down.
“Anyway, you look beat kiddo. Get some rest, I’ll be checking up on you.” And with that, he stood up left. And I feel back into a dreamless sleep.
***
When I woke up, the ward was quiet and the lights where dim. Taking a deep breath I rolled over and noticed the window was open and a cool breeze was blowing in from the outside. Gathering my strength, I forced myself off the bed and hobbled toward the open window. Once I reached the window, I placed my folded arms upon the ledge and peered up at the night sky.
The sky above me was clear and filled with twinkling stars. The moon was bright and full. Autumn was slowly coming to my corner of the world, I could tell by the way the wind felt as it blew across my bare arms and through the branches of the dogwoods trees that line the street that ran by the hospital.
Turning my eyes once more toward the starry heavens above. I took a deep breath as oddly enough a song from my childhood popped into my mind.
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires will come to you
And so whispering that song under my breath over and over again. I watched those twinkling stars till at last, I saw one starting to fall. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and under my breath, I whispered.
“One day, I want to play Arial in our yearly production of ‘The Little Mermaid’. Pretty please..” And as I watched the star fall and fade from view. I finally allowed myself to cry. I had been holding it in you see, all the emotions from the last three days. From the harsh words of the teacher to the headmaster dogging me and my sister out to finally getting attacked! And then be expected to forgive my attacker! It was all too much. Becoming Jamie was starting to become too much. As the tears rolled down my eyes and my chest heaved up and down, up and down, I felt my throat starting to burn and I soon found myself coughing and hacking as I became choked on my own tears.
Finally, I settled down. Feeling tired, I eased myself down on the floor of the hospital. Sniffling I curled up in a tiny little ball, I eased my knees into my chest and wrapped my arms around them. Then resting my head on my knees, I started to cry again.
“I don’t want to be Jamie anymore..” I sobbed into my knees. “I want my old life back, nobody had ever attacked James, nobody even knew James existed. Not even my own sister knew I existed..”
I sobbed and I sobbed till at last, I fell asleep, my energy spent. Another dreamless sleep followed. But as I closed my eyes, I hoped and prayed that things would get better. I loved being Jamie. She could be things James could never dream of being. Maybe. Just maybe she could become Arial for that play. Maybe. Maybe she could even become a Disney Princess. When we took that often talked about trip to Disney Land.
I was released from the hospital early the next morning. Daddy took us all out to eat at the newly opened McDonalds, and I was treated to a twenty piece chicken nugget. Now before I go any further let me say something. Benton is undergoing something of a growth period. In the last few months, two new businesses have open the first one is a McDonalds, the second is a Pizza Hut. Both are located downtown.
Once, we finished eating, daddy drove us back home. And I was ordered straight to bed to rest. I never thought I’ll miss sleeping in my own bed, but I did big time. The warmth of the blankets, the smell of the sheets are wonderful and make you feel warm and secure deep in your soul. When compared to the cold and sterile that most hospitals have, you will find your own much better for sleep.
I milled around the house for another day, recovering my strength till at length. Mom Dad and Lily decided it was time for me to go back to school. And so four days following the drama that unfolded I found myself standing in my bedroom. This time instead of dressing in a pair of slacks and a white button-down shirt with brown buttons and brown penny loafers and black dress socks. Yes, instead of the basic schoolboy uniform, I wore the basic schoolgirl uniform.
The uniform that girls, where required to wear, were a red and white checkered, pleated skirt. White stocking, a peter pan style blouse and finally my blonde hair had been divided down the middle and pulled into two pigtails. The pigtails had then been braided. And for the final touches, my mom had allowed me to wear a little make-up, Lily had helped me with the make-up and for once. I felt like I was going to school as who I should have been all along. James was gone, Jamie was here to stay.
“Wow,” Lily said as she popped into my room. “So, the tomboy is dead and gone.” She said smiling as she started to look around my room. A small wry smile graced her lips as she shifted her eyes from one corner to the other. “Though we need to totally change your room around. Your room is a total guys room still.”
I blinked and blinked again.
“Lavender would suit your walls, your bed, your bed is fine. But maybe a more colorful blanket, and a stuffed animal or two. Your room needs to dust, and swept and once you’ve swept the floors. You need to mop too. Once that done we can get in here and do some painting like I said Lavender will suit your walls, I can make a little reading area in that corner where you have all your clothes piled up. OH! And your closet, we need to get all those boy clothes out here, take them down to the charity shop. You're starting a new chapter of your new life after all.”
“LILY ELIZABETH POTTER! JAMIE SARAH POTTER! YOU’RE RUNNING LATE, THE TROLLEY WILL BE HERE IN TEN MINUTES. HURRY UP, GIRLS.” Mom bellowed from the stairs.
Lily and I turned to each other and blushed as we looked down and smiled. Lily then reached over and wrapped her arms around me and gave me a tight hug. “Be brave sis! Remember the courage of St. Joan and all.” She said as she started down the stairs.
“Right,” I said as I watched her go. I turned around to collect my books and school supplies. I paused though because there in the center of the room stood a woman okay a girl that appeared to be around eighteen. She was sitting on my bed. She wore a simple, dull gray skirt and an old fashioned blouse. She looked up and smiled at me. I stepped back and noticed she looked like something straight from a middle age role-playing game.
“Don’t worry little dove. I’m watching out for you. I’m not going to leave your side. Go ahead and fly high little dove.” She said as she stood up and in the blink of an eye she was gone and the whole room started to fill with the calming scent of fresh picked roses and jasmine.
“JAMIE SARAH POTTER, THE TROLLEY HAS JUST ROUND THE CORNER.” Mom shouted again.
“Coming mom!” I yelled back as I reached down and collected my books. I quickly closed the bedroom door behind me. Now, was I a little freaked out by that? Yes and no. See, I’ve come to expect certain things to happen around me. I mean, I saw a freaking vision of St. Joan once in the headmaster's office before being knocked out. And that women or teen back there, we’ll that could be her checking in on me. After all, going through the nine circles of mental hell in King Slaughters does a number one’s emotions and mental health. Then again, I’m still recovering from that attack, so maybe the whole thing was just a trick of the mind.
I rounded the stairwell and was greeted by my mother, She was still dressed in her housecoat, her hair still in rollers. In one hand she held a piece of paper and in the other a brown paper bag. She handed both to me as I passed her.
“I packed you a little snack.” She said as she handed the brown paper bag to me. “There a few snack size candy bars in there, an apple. And a peanut butter sandwich. “ She rattled off each item in the bag as I took it in hand. I then reached for the piece of paper.
“And this is a note from the doctors.” She said handing the paper to me. “Take this to the office as soon as you reach the school, do you understand me?” She said in a firm tone of voice. The voice she used when she wanted to make a point.
“Yes, ma’am,” I said folding the note and sliding it into the pocket of the skirt.
Mom leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.
“Okay honey, have a good day at school. Daddy is already at the shop working on the shipment. I’ll be helping him. Since one person has to run the front and the other stock, they're going to be some left over. So if you want some extra pocket money, swing by helping us put out stock. We’ll even bump your pay to twenty-five cents a box.” She said winking.
I returned the kiss and smiled.
“Sure mom. I’ll be down there this afternoon.” Mommy and daddy own a small general store downtown. I think its one of the oldest general stores in Mississippi, it's well over two hundred or so years old. And well since I was old enough to walk I’ve been helping out off and on down there. First, they started paying me around dime for each item I put out. Then they bumped me up to fifteen cents an item, and finally twenty cents. And now I guess they're paying a quarter of a dollar. Low wages, yes, but then again we ate and lived out of the general store. And when you're not putting out stock, there always selves that need dusting, isles that needed fronting, that when you make all the product line up nice and neat. And of course, sweeping and mopping. All in all. One good day at the shop would net you around Seventy-Five dollars in cash money. But that being therefrom when the door opened at eight in the morning to four that afternoon.
Me pondering all of this allowed the time to fly and soon I was stepping off the trolley. I took a deep breath and peered down the concrete walkway. Before me stood Benton Academy, a handsome three-story building made from locally produced brick. Most of the brick used in the construction of the school came from Yazoo City, some twenty-three miles away. Yazoo Brick Production Company, the company that made most of these bricks was still producing too.
I pushed that thought aside, my mind tends to ramble on at times. As the trolley moved on, I started to move, I wanted to run away, but my brain and body had shifted into auto-pilot. While every fiber of me was screaming for me to turn around and run, I knew I had to push on and face what was waiting for me behind those doors. It was time. My new life began now.
My schedule for the year had remained the same. And so, according to that schedule as soon as I dropped the paper off at the office, I was to report to my first period class. That being “Natural Science”. And as expected Mr. Henderson stood there in the classroom waiting for me. He wore a different suit this time, instead of the fading gray suit, he wore a dark charcoal suit. What remained of his gray, thinning hair had been brushed over the best he could to hide the big bald spot. The lingering smell of Old Spice aftershave, tobacco and coffee hung around him like a blinding fog.
I first caught sight of Mr. Henderson when I walked into the classroom. My classmates where already seated and coping down a board full of notes from the blackboard that had been nailed to the wall years ago. Back when Mr. Henderson had a head full of hair and way before his teeth had been stained yellow from years of drinking coffee and smoking tobacco. He was standing in the center of the classroom. His hand folded behind him, his eyes fixed upon the door.
“Students.” He crooked out. “May I please have your attention for a minute. Pencils down please, eyes toward the front.” He said the minute I walked through the door of the classroom.
I felt a deep blush form on my face as I felt all eyes turned toward me.
“We have a new student. Her name is Ms. Jamie Sarah Potter. She’ll be joining you for the remainder of the school year or the next three. Ms. Potter.” He said walking up to me, he smiled a small smile. He then reached down and offered me his hand. “Allow me to welcome you to my class. it’s a pleasure to have you here with us today.”
I could tell by his tone of voice that Mr. Henderson was forcing the politeness in his voice. The way he lifted crusted and cracked lips up to show his yellow teeth sent shivers down my spine. His eyes, narrowed down into two slits. Those eyes reminded me of a weasel, and the whole show brought to mind the mental picture of a weasel that had somehow gotten shoved into an suit.
“Thank you sir.” I said taking a deep breath.
“Why don’t you tell us a little about yourself, Ms. Potter.” He said sitting down in his old leather chair. “I’m sure your classmates would love to learn something about you.” His bones seemed to crack and pop as he eased himself down into the leather chair. Once seated he took a deep breath and threaded his fingers together as he peered toward me.
I blushed and shook my head.
“No sir..” I said blushing as I walked toward the empty seat and eased down into chair. I smoothed my skirt under me as I eased my bottom down.
“Very well. I’ll tell the class a little about you. Ms. Potter,” He cleared his throat and stood up. All eyes shifted toward me and then toward him. For a minute I wished the earth would open up and swallow me whole.
“Ms. Potter, was once called Mr. Potter, despite the wishes of the headmaster and what insane order he has issued. I will not for the life of me be using the pronouns of ‘Her’ or ‘She’ when addressing you. I feel that is an insult to not only you, but the whole male race. And instead of catering to your twist desire, I say we should have the right and the privilege of marching you outside. Bending you over and having your hand and feet tied to a bench. And then have your bare backside flogged till you bleed. Ladies and gentleman, look upon Ms. Potter as a product of a country that has gone soft. The generation that freed the western world from Imperial Japan and Nazi Germany has been reduced to this, and by this I mean, a soft spoken boy who can get away with wearing a dress and prancing around like some fruit cake.”
I felt my cheeks flush with color as I peered toward my desk.
A mummer ran through my class, a dozen of whispered conversations started to take place. Mr. Henderson raised his eyebrows and peered toward us with a evil gaze. He slowly forced himself to stand up and then reaching down to take hold of his desk he shouted.
“If where going to scorn this piece of trash, lets scorn it together. No need to mutter under your breaths. Come on, political correctness dies at my door. This is no twitter safe-space.” He bellowed, causing me to sink even deeper into my chair.
“Okay dude,” a random voice said. “That like enough! Where tired of it okay! Stop putting everything down.” The voice belonged to a black haired boy, who wore a saggy hairstyle. He was thin as a rail, and his white button down shirt was decorated with a row of pins. He blew out a stream of hot air that caused his bangs to flutter.
“Mr. Morrison, I figured you’ll be the first to speak up.” He said grinning. “I you’ve just earned yourself two weeks of after school detention. One more outburst like that, and I’ll send you to the ROCK. Do you understand me. And I’ll make sure they put you in the tiniest room they have. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME SIR?!” He bellowed out.
“Hey, don’t talk to Willy like that!” Another voice called out. “And don’t you dare talk to Jamie like that either! She was totally a life saver. She was our school hostage after all!” The voice belonged to a girl, a cute blonde haired girl
“Ms. Oak.. I expected you to rise in defense of this outside trash. You do after call come from carpetbagger stock. Your great-great grandfather was part of that plague of Yankee rabble that came flooding down here after the War to buy up the land of poor southern boys at knock down prices. You will also being joining Mr. Morrison in detention for a fortnight.”
“Oh we going to have a problem here.” Another girl said as she stood up. “You talking to my BEF like she some kind of Jackson streetwalker. And your all in this girls face too. Listen, where tired of you talking down to us. You’re here to teach. And instead of teaching, your just running that big mouth of your.” Another girl chimed in.
“OKAY THAT ENOUGH. NO MORE TALK, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME. THE NEXT PERSON TO SAY ANYTHING, I MEAN ANYTHING WITHOUT RAISING THERE HAND WILL BE SENT OUT OF HERE AND SENT STRAIGHT TO THE ROCK. DO YOU DIM WITTED, PEA BRAIN, SOCIAL MEDIA ADDICTS UNDERSTAND ME?” Mr. Henderson bellowed at the top of his lungs. His voice roared like thunder and caused the window panes to shake. His face had gone from a pale, off colored white to a deep red. He was breathing hard, you could see the rise and fall of his chest through the thin fabric of his dress shirt. He zoomed his eyes on me. His eyes sparkled with hate. The knuckles of his hands had turned white and his old boney fingers seemed to be graphing for support.
A mummer ran through the room. And all eyes shifted toward the desk.
“GOOD, NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION. I WOULD LIKE MR. POTTER TO KINDLY REMOVE HIMSELF FROM THE CLASSROOM. COLLECT YOUR BOOKS, I WILL NOT BE TEACHING THE LIKES OF YOU THIS YEAR. ANYBODY SAY ANYTHING ELSE AND I’LL GIVE THE WHOLE CLASS TWO WEEKS DETENTION.” His voice bellowed over the sound and confusion of the mummers that passed through the classroom. His threat silenced those brave few who would raise there voices in protest. But I could fell all the eyes shifting toward me. So taking a deep breath I stood up, collected my books and made my way toward the door.
The classroom was silent as the grave as I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. As the door closed behind me, I signed. Talk about making a big splash your first day? Smiling a wry smile I peered toward the sky. If there was some divine being up there, I needed him more than ever. Or maybe I should go the old Hunter S. Thompson route and say ‘God, you better take care of me, or else you’ll have me to deal with.’ I quickly pushed that thought out of my head. Since becoming I had found a newfound source of strength, courage and wisdom. But, I don’t even think Jamie was Jack-dawn foolish enough to tangle with the divine.
And since I was put out of class. I did the only logical thing. I started to roam the halls. Only six and a half more hours till this trail by fire ends.
The lunchroom was filled to the brim with people, lunch today was watery chili, stale bread, warm milk and something that looked like a brownie. A rumor was going around school that Mr. Henderson had been fired, it seemed his outburst this morning had ruffled a few feathers. I considered that a small victory. I was about to finish off my watery chili when much to my surprise Joan appeared and sat her tray down in front of me.
“You and I need to talk.” She said taking a deep breath. “My brother wants to meet with you. Like you.” She said taking a deep breath as she reached down and wrapped her fingers around her carton of milk. She removed the top and took a swallow. She shuttered as she placed the plastic carton down.
I blushed and reached up and started to play with one of my braids. I blushed deeper as I noticed Joan had fixed me with a look. It was a look that made my blood run cold. It was a no-nonsense look that held my attention. She closed her eyes and in a soft tone of voice she said.
“He’s been worried sick, The boy has put two and two together and pretty much figured out that boy being hauled off in that meat wagon was you. And guess what? He still cares about you. He has been more on edge than a long tail tomcat in a room full of rocking chairs.” She reached out and placed her left hand on top of mine and then gave it a squeeze.
“Jamie, the boy doesn’t care what you are. He fallen head over heels with a girl called Jamie Sarah Potter. That you. So, he sent me to tell you he’ll be waiting for you. Right behind the field house after school. Don’t worry, the football team is patrolling the area.”
I titled my head to the side and then in a confused tone of voice said.
“What do you mean the football team is patrolling the area?” I asked.
Joan closed her eyes and took another swig of her milk, she shuttered again. No doubt the milk has gone hot, once its gone hot it's not worth drinking, but beside the sand tasting water, we are provided from the fountain. And that water was often warm and besides tasting of sand, it also left a metal after taste.
“Yes,” She said taking a deep breath. “After your attack, the other cheerleaders sat down and had a little talk with the football team. Pretty much, we told them in no certain terms, if something was to happen to you, then we’ll refuse to cheer at there next game. We said the same thing to the boy's basketball team. The girl's basketball team agreed to shadow you. That pretty much filtered down through the social chain.”
“Wow.,” I said blushing as I looked down at the table.
“The whole school is standing behind there ‘Princess’. It takes guts to be the hostage you know that right? They're starting to call you ‘Princess Jamie’. And no, that not them going for low blows. From what I’ve seen and what my sources have reported it’s a term of endearment. The rumor mill has been running like a racehorse girl.” She said shaking her head.
I swallowed hard and kept looking down at the table.
“So behind the field house, after the final bell?” I asked.
“You gotta it. And I mean this Jamie, please be there. I don’t know what kind of magic you worked on the boy, but he cares about you. He prayed for you every night, and once he tried to visit you in hospital. But the doctor, kind of turned him away at the door. Saying something that the only family was allowed to see you.”
I nodded my head and took a deep breath. I then looked up and peered toward Joan and offered her a little smile as I peered into her eyes.
“I’ll be there,” I said taking a deep breath.
“Good, now we have one more piece of business. Now, I know your new to this whole girl thing. But, as Ben’s older sister, I have a certain say over what girl he sees or not. Now, I’m not going to hover over you both and shadow your every move. But, my sources tell me, that you kissed my brother twice during the homecoming dance. I gave you permission for just one kiss, but I’ll let that slide for now.” She paused and smirked a little as and leaned in.
“But from now on girl, when I say one kiss, I mean one kiss. Not till you’ve been going straight for two months. Then you can do whatever you please with the boy. Now since you’ve been in the hospital. I’m going to let you get two kisses in this time if the mood is right.” She said with a wink.
I took a deep breath and nodded my head. I still had so much to learn, if I was to thrive as Jamie.
“Anyway. See you around school, you be safe now.” And with that Joan left. Leaving me along with my thoughts. I felt my cheeks starting to blush, to be truthful in these last four or five days. I’ve totally forgotten about Ben. The time we spent together seemed like a fading memory. Blushing deeper, I found myself missing the feeling of his lips touching mine, the warmth of his hug and the smell of his body spray.
The rest of the day passed quietly enough. Once the last bell of the day was rung and school was dismissed, I started to make my way toward the field house, the field house was a large shed-like structure. The building was shared by all the male sports team members. As I neared the building, I noticed Ben standing a few feet away.
My heart skipped a beat and my breathing increase, I noticed he was holding something. He also noticed me, because he started to make his way toward me. He was holding something in his hand, a shoe, a women’s shoe.
“I thought, I should return this to you.” He said handing me the shoe.
I felt my cheeks flush with color as I looked and noticed the shoe was the same one I lost the night of the homecoming dance. I swallowed hard and placed the shoe to the side and slowly I lifted my eyes to meet his.
“Jamie Sarah Potter.” He said taking a deep breath as he peered into my eyes. “There a mighty powerful question I need to ask of you. One that been on my heart for the longest of times. But, the more I run from it, the more afraid I become. So, I guess I need to ask this right now.
I took a deep breath and steeled myself for the question.
“Jamie Sarah Potter, would you be my girlfriend?” He said as he reached down and took his hands into mine.
“YES!” I shouted as I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. “A THOUSAND TIMES YES.” I bellowed as I pulled him down and hugged him. We then kissed, it was a sweet kiss, sweeter than the first one we shared at homecoming. And so we kissed and once more I saw stars. I was about to kiss him again when I looked down and noticed the time.
“Hey, Ben. I need to go help my mom at the store. But can you call or text me later.” I said reaching down and slipping him my phone number. “Please. You’re my prince. And I want to be your princess.” I said taking a deep breath as I waited for him to laugh or maybe just freak out and run away. Instead, he bent down and kissed my lips again and once more I felt a surge of energy rush through me.
“Okay, see you around princess.” He said smiling as he walked away.
I took a deep breath and called out. “Hey, Ben! You are going to be there this Sunday right! For my baptism and stuff. Cause you know, I want you there and stuff!” I shouted before my courage failed me.
He turned around and gave me a smile that melted my heart.
“Would not miss it for the world.” He said winking as he walked away.
A deep blush colored my cheeks and I rushed away. I quickly caught the afternoon trolley, paid the two dollars and fifty cents required to ride from Benton Academy to downtown Benton. And as the tram rocked gently to the left and to the right. My mind flew away and focused on Ben. I wanted more, I wanted more than a kiss, I wanted something else. My cheeks flushed a deep, dark red. Yes, I wanted more, I wanted to be loved by him, to claim him, to be claimed by him to be his and his only. And finally, I wanted to know, how it would feel to have him. Inside me. That last thought caused my blood to boil!
Sunday dawned cool and clear. An early frost covered the ground and brass bells of St. Mary’s Episcopal Church bellowed all through the town. Soon there voices were joined by All Saint’s Catholic church. Fr. Brown had insisted the service for that day be in the ‘High Church’ style. Cradle Episcopalians would know this style by the colorful nickname of ‘Smells and Bells’.
The church was filled to the rafters with people, Gray clouds of incense floated above the heads of the faithful. The echo of the prayers being chanted from the alter gave me chills. Father had preached a sermon on love, respect, and acceptance that morning. From the pulpit, he had called for the whole parish community to embrace each other as Christ had them. Finally, it had come time for him to address the crowd.
As he stepped down from the pulpit he took a deep breath and said.
“In his letter to the early Christian communities in Galatia. Paul the Apostle says, For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed and heirs according to the promise.” He paused and took a deep breath.
“Dear brothers and sisters in a few minutes we will welcome a young woman into the family of God. Before we do, I would like to call your attention to what Paul wrote to the early church in Galatia. In this world, it seems where always being divided and shorted into groups. And how often we cling to our one group and look at those that do not belong with devil eyes. The apostle Paul in this is calling for us, all those who have been clothed in the waters of baptismal to rise above that and love each other and respect each other. Because we are all one in Christ Jesus.”
I took a deep breath as I stood there in the back, listing to Fr. Brown give his little speech. His warm words of encouragement caused my cheeks to flush with color. And I had good reason to blush, mom and gone all out in dressing me for this event. She had selected a white gown, one that looked like it belonged on a bride or a bridesmaid instead of a twerp like me. The gown was long and formal and had puffy sleeves.
Also, white gloves and a bundle of lilies had been given to me to hold. In the front pew, sat, Lily, Mom and Dad and Aunt Molly, who had just moved back to Benton after being gone for twenty or so years. Along with Aunt Molly, there was uncle Frank and Aunt Cat who farmed and raised cattle out in the Westwood district. And sitting beside them was there two children. And of course grandmother and grandfather. So you pretty much had the whole Potter Clan sitting in the front pew.
Mom wore her best dress. A really pretty floral print gown. Lily wore a nice looking button-down blouse and a flowing skirt, Dad wore his best woolen suit. And Aunt Molly who had moved in with us wore a pink and white Japanese kimono. According to my dad, his younger sister, Molly was always into the Japanese stuff. In high school, she had taken Art Classes to improve her skills. During her Junior and Senior year, she started to take summer classes at a local Junior College.
Taking those classes seemed to have paid off, as she finished her AA Degree in a year and a half of hard studying. With her AA in hand, she moved out west to work in Radio Broadcasting. Off all the Potter’s she was the most supportive of me coming out as Transgender. I still don’t know how that came about. But the minute people started to call me Jamie instead of James, a mental switch was flipped. And a tiny little light went off in my head. And once that switch had been thrown, there was no way to turn it off.
And believe me, I had tried my best to turn that switch off. But now, standing at the back of the church, dressed in a white gown, I knew there was little I could do to flip the switch if you will. I took another deep breath and closed my eyes. I felt like a bride going to forth to meet her husband.
“Hey, Jamie.” A voice called out. I turned around and there in the doorway stood Ben. I took a deep breath and peered toward him. He had shaved, we’ll not that he really need to shave, but last time I saw him, he had a little peach fuzz growing on his chin. The fact he had shaved it off had been cute.
“Hey, Ben,” I said taking a deep breath. I moved in to give him a hug and when I did I caught sight of Joan who was standing behind him. She wore a simple, plain black dress. Her eyes were focused on me and slowly a little smirk formed on her lips.
“Hey there Jamie, you look cute. Man almost like a bride on her big day.” She said smiling as she looked me up and down, she finally nodded her head in approval. “Such a pretty little gown too, love the gloves and the lilies too. So girl how are you feeling?”
“A little scared to be honest,” I said blushing as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.
“Nothing to scared of girl. Heck, you’ve been through so much already. First, you agreed to be our school’s hostage in that whole exchange, then you stood up to that big winded fellow, then you stood up to the old balding fellow. This is nothing but a walk in the park.” She said smiling, she then reached over and gave my shoulder a playful little punch.
“Come on, you got this. Just take a deep breath, nod your head and the Father will pour a little water on your head. And boom its all good. Over and done, open and shut.” She said grinning. Joan had become, something of that rough big sister. She lacked the grace and charm of Lily, who displayed all the skills of a classic ‘Southern Belle’ if you will. No, Joan was a down to earth country girl who called things as she saw them.
“You look kind of cute in your dress too,” Ben said taking a deep breath. “Almost like a bride.” He said joking a little.
I felt my cheeks flush again. When Joan said it the first time, it was almost like she was teasing me. When Ben said it, it was more like a foreshadowing of things to come. I took a deep and moved in close.
“Yes, but I want to get married in a proper Episcopal cathedral. And not some small parish out in the sticks.” I said figuring I could tease him a little, I was allowed that? It was after all my big day. I had earned that much? Of course, I had. I’ve been seven rings of hell these last few weeks.
Ben blinked and blinked again as he titled his head to the side. I could tell he was lost so I kept going.
“Yes, I want a big wedding, like a really big wedding, in a proper Episcopal cathedral. Like the one in downtown Jackson. Then I want my honeymoon to take place in Disney World and to have chocolate chip waffles each morning for breakfast along with fresh squeezed orange juice.” I was standing so close to him, that I could smell the lingering effects of his mint flavored mouth wash. I closed my eyes and then leaned in and before I could catch myself I found myself planting a kiss upon his lips.
We kissed for a good minute, then I forced myself to part from him. I looked down and felt my cheeks bloom with color. Thankfully, most of the people in the crowd had their attention firmly focused on what Father was saying and our display of public affection had gone unnoticed.
“Now, I would like to call Jamie Sarah Potter down to receive the Sacrament of Holy Baptism.” Fr. Brown called out as he lifted his eyes and focused them solely on me.
I took a deep breath and peered toward Ben. He only smiled, his smile was worth a thousand and one words. Releasing my breath, I straighten my back and started to walk down the aisle toward the altar.
Once I reached the alter, a acolyte wearing a black cassock and white surplice approached me and offered me a hug. I was shocked at first, till I noticed the acolyte had shoulder length brown hair and baby blue eyes and a soft heart shaped face, I could place the face but not the name, then when she spoke I knew who it was.
“So proud of you Jamie.” The acolyte whispered to me as she stepped back and took me by the hand. “Where all so proud of you.” Then it hit me like a verbal ton of bricks. The young women holding my hand was Madeline, the girl who was making waves around town. And of I might be so bold, my idol in some ways. Madeline took my hand into hers and guided me toward the center of the alter. A cushion had been placed upon the ground.
Then from the side room, two selectmen of the church came out. Each one was holding the end of a child size wadding pool. The two placed the small pool down in front of the alter and Madeline once more took my hand and helped me to step over the small plastic wall. Once I was standing in the pool, she made the motion for me to kneel down. Blushing deeply, I kneeled down. I could feel the eyes of everybody in the congregation focused in one me. And if I had eyes in the back of my head, I’m sure I’ll noticed some two hundred or so people all shifting there attention toward the girl in a wide dress, kneeling in a children’s wadding pool, clutching a buddle of lilies.
I looked to the side and Madeline gave me a thumps up. She then dipped into a side room and appeared a few seconds later, in her hand she held a bundle of white towels and a sterling silver pitcher that seemed to be filled with water. Pitcher and towels in hand she stood beside Fr. Brown who moved toward the pool, taking a deep breath he unfolded his large, brown leather covered Book of Common Prayer to a marked page. He looked down at the book, nodded his head and said.
“The Lord be with you.” He called out.
“And also with you.” The people respond.
“Christ be with you.” He called out again.
“And also with you.” The people respond.
“The Holy Ghost be upon you this day.” He called out again.
“Jamie Sarah Potter, is it your wish, and desire to be baptized into the one, holy catholic and apostolic church?”
“Yes.” I responded.
“Jamie Sarah Potter, will you devote yourself to the study of scriptures and following in the teachings of the one, holy catholic and apostolic church?”
“Yes.”
“Jamie Sarah Potter, will you reject from this day forward, the temptation of the devil, and follow more closely in the teaching of the church.”
“I will with Gods help.”
“Jamie Sarah Potter, will you, from this day forward, minister to the lost, tend to the sick, seek the lost, support the church with your prayers, donations and talents?”
“I will with God’s help.”
Fr. Brown then turned toward all those gathered and in a loud booming tone of voice called out.
“Would you, who saw, and heard this vow, like wise vow to guide, support, and minister to your new sister in Christ Jesus, Jamie Sarah Potter?”
A loud call respond to the call.
“We will!”
“Will all you gathered here, welcome Jamie Sarah Potter into your hearts? And accepted her as a child of God?” He called out even louder. And the people responded even louder.
“We will!”
“Will all of you who have gathered here, respect, love and cherish Jamie Sarah Potter, accepted her as who she is.”
“We will.”
“Jamie Sarah Potter.” Fr. Brown said picking up the pitcher. Slowly he started to pour the water over my head, it was ice cold and cause chills to run down the spine of my neck.
“I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.” He said as he tipped the pitcher over and poured the last few ounces of ice cold water over my head. The water ran off and pooled at the bottom of the wadding pool. As I watched the water pool in front of me, I felt a sudden sense of peace come over me as I looked up and noticed the morning sun streaming through the big stain-glass window above the alter.
The bright rays of the sun seemed to shimmer as they filtered down around me, bathing me in light. I then noticed what appeared to be small balls of fire falling down around me, the balls of flicking orange and yellow flame seemed to dance around me, I could feel the heat rolling off of them. The orbs flickered and fluttered and then seemed to enter inside of me, my whole body felt boiling hot as it fever had come over me. The coldness of the water made me shiver. The cold water cooled my skin that was turning redder by the second from the heat of the flames that had just entered me.
Then a white dove appeared, the bird seemed to appear out of no where, my eyes followed it as it flew around the church a few times before diving down and smacking into my head. A sense of odd peace followed the bird smacking into my head. I then.. I then felt at peace, and for the first time in a long time I felt at peace with myself. What had started out as a request by my big sister, had now become my new life. And it seemed the big man himself approved of it.
I then felt something warm being placed over my shoulders. I looked up and noticed Madeline had climbed into the pool and was now placing a warm towel around my shoulders. Not that I need the towel, the dress was for the most part fine and only my hair had gotten wet. Smiling though, I reached up and grappled the corner of the towels and wrapped them tightly around me.
“Thank you.” I said blushing as I tried to stand up.
Madeline then leaned over and wrapped her arms around my shoulder and drew me into a tight hug.
“Welcome home sis,” She said smiling. “Welcome home and we totally need to have a sleepover too sometimes.” She whispered the last part into my ears as she helped me to my feet. Fr. Brown stepped a little closer and once I was standing, he reached over and placed his thumb on my forehead.
“Jamie Sarah Potter. I confirm in you and seal in you, the gifts of the Holy Spirit.” He said in a loud booming tone of voice He traced a small cross upon my forehead and then he reached out and helped me out of the wadding pool. He then stood me in front of the crowd. Once I was facing the crowd, he came to my right and Madeline appeared on my left.
“Rejoice brothers and sisters, for Jamie Sarah Potter was once lost, she is now found. She was once dead, but now she lives. The kingdom of heaven rejoices because one lost sheep has been found.” He called out in a booming tone of voice.
And the people responded
“Amen!”
Epilogue:
A few days after I was baptized a few of the older, more conserved members of the church slipped away from the flock. I suppose they found a new church home at the ‘Word of Life and Faith Church of God’ that the disgraced Rev. John Mark had founded after being run off from First Baptist. He seemed in the business of collecting all the bigots in town. Among the list of known members where Mr. Perry, Mr. Henderson, both acting as deacons for the church. And among the rank and file where a few dozen others. The church was located deep in the woods, no doubt surrounded by barbwire fence and patrolled by rednecks toting shotguns on there shoulders while chewing big chunks of snuff.
And Lily finally made good on her promise. As promised she took me to Jackson to see a new anime movie. Later we went to the mall and did some shopping. We’ll we hit two malls, first we searched the Metro Center from top to the bottom. Then we drove halfway across the capital to pillage North Park. We left town with a trunk full of clothing and daddies credit card maxed out. Or so I like to think we did. Anyway that the end of that story. Stay tuned for more updates from Benton.
With love,
Jamie Sarah Potter.
The end of The New Life of Jamie Sarah of Potter the adventures of Jamie continue in Its Halloween Jamie Potter.
Buck’s Tavern was a small bar located deep within the woods that surrounded Benton. To get to Buck’s one needed to travel down an old dirt road that was rutted with deep holes that often held water. And the building that was Buck’s was nothing more than an old wooden cabin. The roof was covered with moss. The glass in the window pane had long since turned to a dusty yellow. Spider webs decorated the corners.
an
Inside Buck’s, one would find a dirty floor covered with dust, the tables like were covered in a fine layer of grease, so thick was the grease that the glass bottles of beer often slide down when placed down upon the surface. The air inside too was rancid, it was a smell that could be defined. It was a mixture of pipe tobacco, piss, shit, sweat, and vomit. The smell of an overflowing plastic trashcan, filled to the brim with crushed up beer cans added its own flare.
Tonight Buck’s was standing room only. It was pay-day and the hunters and commercial fisherman along with the loggers and field hands had flocked in for there fill with warm beer and salty peanuts. The bare light bulbs flickered and overhead as they swung back and forth.
And it was a good night for drinking. The weather outside had turned, rain was falling down in sheets. Bolts of white, hot lighting crisscrossed the dark sky and sudden booms of thunder shook the dust from the beams that supported to the sagging roof. And inside, the bottom rungs of the social ladder drank, smoked and cursed and made fools of themselves.
But in one of the private rooms, a group of men, all belong to the local “Citizens Council” were holding there weekly meeting. Chairing the meeting was Jeremy Henderson, formally a teacher at Benton Academy, acting as Treasurer was David McPhail, the former Headmaster of Benton Academy, providing spiritual guidance was John Mark, former pastor of Benton Baptist Church now pastor of the “Word of Life and Faith Church of God” a small rural church where those who had spurred the mainline churches flocked too. And Commander of the Militia, an honoree title given to the man who commands the three dozen armed, buck tooth hillbillies that patrolled the area outside of Bucks was Howard Perry, father of Linda Perry.
Jeremy Henderson was the first to speak.
“Gentleman, we must do something. Our little town is going to shit.” He said as he stood up. “First, it was that girl, that he-she at the dunking booth. Then it was that confused boy at the Benton Homecoming Game. Now, its this talk of a maid café opening up in our downtown area. Gentleman, we must act.” He said pointing down at the table with his fingers.
“I’m afraid, the damage has been done. That hack at the Episcopal Church, committed a very grave sin when he baptized that thing. A good thirty people, most of whom have been a long time follows of that occult had the good sense to wake up and come to the true saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. With that so-called ‘Church’ welcoming people like that and that other church, sheltering priest that abuse and molest children. I fear the hour of judgment is upon us. We who know the saving grace and the one true way, must stand firm and fight back the legions of hell invading our town.” The Rev. John Mark said as he raised his voice to a shout. A loud boom of lighting followed his little speech.
All nodded their approval.
“That girl, the first one. She done caused me a lot of harm.” Howard Perry said as he took a deep breath. “My sister in law, Linda last summer found her boy wearing her Sunday dress and was taking him to me, to get him to straighten out. I was going to do the right thing, smack the hell out of him and make him learn the bible. Then take him hunting and fishing. But he caused her to wreck and she died in that wreck. I tell you something she was burned to a crisp.”
All nodded their heads. Jeremy reached over and patted the Howard on his shoulder.
“My little girl, Linda just fell apart when she heard her aunt had been killed. Cried all through the funeral, cried all that night. Make matters worst, her slick talking lawyer brother stepped in and helped that little she-devil of a daughter of hers to get her house and home. Then he pulled some legal mumbo jumbo on me, saying I could not see my nephew at the hospital. Next thing I know that boy has done called himself Madeline and is prancing around town. Thanked God my Linda attend school with you fellows. Then that little devil, Lily got her queer brother to dress up as a girl. Linda stood up to her and made a few remarks. And boom, next thing you know she off the school’s cheerleading team.”
“We understand your troubles brother Perry.” The Rev. John Mark said as he nodded his head. “You of all of us have suffered the most. But the Lord has been testing you, he has tested you and has found you worthy to lead his band of warriors. I promise you, brother before everything is done. You will have your daughter back and you will feel the blood of the traitor in the palm of your hands. This the Lord God Promises.”
“Ahem to that. That boy has some problem. So, what you planning their boss. I suggest we wait till they together, then we bag them. Take them to the woods. Let them see what being a girly girl is all about.” Howard Perry said as he punched the table, causing the pitcher of beer sitting in the table to rock.
“No, too messy. I don’t suggest we touch the Potter boy just yet. The Potters are a bunch of tricky folks, always been strange you know. Goes back to Ol’ man Potter. Bunch of strange, folks, always getting their names in the paper. They some kind of kin to the Bells and the Brewers.” Despite being an educated man, Jeremy Henderson found himself slipping into his old accent.
“Always cut the head of the rattler off first.” David McPhail said as he leaned in. “We go after the Potters boy, then the Brewer boy will know something in the wind. Might just take flight and escape our nets. The Potters, like it or not are of old Benton blood. The Brewers, not so much, remember they came and settled this area after the war between the states. There even stranger than the Potters, took in that queer daughter of Linda’s when she kicked her out. Not only that they left her the farm and the there house. Strange folks, I tell you.”
“I can agree with you there. We need to do something about them. This use to be a God-fearing town, then them slant eyes opened up that factory here. And they started building all kind of stuff down in Yazoo City, and in yonder Madison, Canton and Ridgeland. And we were in slap dap in the middle of all this, started to get all kind of people moving in. Now I’m all for growing our town. But good God, the people that are moving in are the worst kind of people. People we can do without.” Jeremy Henderson said, the others agreed and nodded there head to show there own support.
“Next year. I say we do something. I don’t know what, but we need to do something. Something Gentleman that will send a clear message to all the folks that this town, that the good, God-fearing, White Protestant Southern Baptist people of this town will not stand by and allow people, outsiders, to come in and ruin the image of this town.” The Rev. John Mark said as he slammed his open palm down upon the flat surface of the table. The collected people nodded their heads raised there dusty glasses of beer in a toast.
Now the walls of Buck’s where paper thin. In the room beside the room, the meeting was being held in. A man could be seen sitting at dust, greased coated table. He wore a tan colored trench coat. He was sipping a cup of coffee and keeping one eye glued at the door that leads to the room and other glued to the old tape recorder that was sitting on the table. Noise traveled well through the thin walls of the bar. A look of great concerned crossed his face as he reached over and paused the recorder. This was vital information, information worth its weight in gold and silver. Signing himself with the cross, he slipped the recorder into the pocket of her overcoat and tossed a crumpled dollar bill down the table. He then stood up and reached into the pocket of his trousers.
Through the rough, woolen fabric of his trousers, he could feel the cold metal of his sidearm. Breathing a prayer, he exited the room and picked his way through the crowd, smoked filled the common room. Once he was outside he muttered a prayer of thanksgiving as he reached his car and started to drive back to town, as he drove he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He dialed a number and raised the phone to his ear. After three rings somebody on the other line picked up.
“Hello.” A tired voice said. “You have reached the Benton Police Department.”
“I have something for you chief. I’ll bring it to the station.” The man said.
“… I’ll put on a fresh pot o’ coffee for you.”
“Bless you, my son.”
“Any time Father.”
To be continued another time~
Halloween, the spookiest holiday of the year. Halloween was a time for people to go out and for one night out of the three hundred and fifty-five of a year cut loose and show their hidden side. In Benton, has a few Halloween traditions, one yearly celebration at the local park. Another is groups of children going from house to house, demanding offerings of treats in return for the safety of your yard. Another is groups of teens, traveling in groups of twelve or more roaming around the countryside. These traveling parties often searched for scares and thrills by checking out haunted locations.
My Halloween was spent lounging around my room. And I mean the whole Halloween, having kept my nose firmly pressed to the textbook had paid off. I had been allowed to skip all my nine-week test for the day and as such, I had spent the whole day sitting in front of my computer, watching episodes of ‘Ghost Searchers’ and ‘Supernatural Encounters’ back-to-back. Between binge watching supernatural shows, I had also flipped through a dozen or so ‘Fear Street’ books.
Mom, dad, and Lily had of course gone to the Halloween celebration being held in the park. I had volunteered to stay home and hand out free candy and smile to everybody. I was still new to being Jamie twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. Even though I had been going to school as Jamie as wearing the uniform and stuff. Even though I had something of a boyfriend, even though I had gone to prom wearing a fancy dress, the whole idea of wearing a skimpy Halloween costume in front of the town was more than I could stand.
But all of that aside, my Halloween had been an okay one. As I had turned the porch light off around seven O’ clock. Once the porch light had been turned off. An official sign that Trick or Treating had ended at 134 Town Creek Road. I phoned up the newly opened Pizza Hut and placed an order for two personal pan pizzas and an order of cheese sticks. Once I finished my Halloween fest of pizza and pop, I jumped in the shower, washed my hair and rolled my hair. And was checking my emails once more when the door to my bedroom door was pushed open.
I turned around and was greeted by my mom, who had returned along with the rest of the family an hour or so ago. Mom stood in my doorway, she had changed out of her costume and was now wearing her housecoat And slippers. Mom was kind of old fashion like that.
“Jamie,” I said peering at me. “There a woman called Heather Ford here, she wants to see you.” She said with a small smile. “She in the living room. Lily fixing us some tea. Would you like something as well.” She offered as she peered down at me.
I blinked and blinked again and smiled a little. Now, for those who don’t know, Heather Ford is the hostess of ‘Heather’s House Party’ the bread and butter of PBS, the program was the flagship program, often sandwiched between Ken Burn’s programs. So to say I was stunned and shocked is an understatement. Standing up and pushing my rolling chair under my desk, I followed mom down the stairs till at last, we stood in the living room.
Our living room is small, heck our whole house is small when compared to the others on the block. So it was almost standing room. The sofa could sit three people and both mom and dad and their own chair so in theory around five could be comfortably seat. Dad, who was still dressed in his Halloween costume was sitting in his chair, looking amused as a woman with honey blonde hair sat in the middle of the old sofa that my late grandmother had left to mom.
As soon as I joined them, Lily walked into the room, carrying a tray, five mugs could be seen upon the tray. One mug had ‘Mommy’ written in sparkling baby blue letters. Another had ‘Daddy’ written in bold black letters, a third one had ‘Lily’ written in buttercup yellow letters, a fourth one, mine had ‘Jamie’ written in shimmering pink letters and the filth and final one had ‘Guest’ written upon it.
My eyes followed Lily as she entered the room. Her hips swinging back and forth with each step she took. She smiled and eased the tray down upon the coffee table and with a gentle hand, she started to pass out the mugs.
“Thank you, darling,” Heather said as she took the mug from my sister. She wrapped her long fingers around the ceramic mug and raised it to her lips. She then blew some of the steam away. Lily only smiled and bobbed her head passed out the other mugs.
Finally, she reached me, smiling a little she eased the mug into my hands, she then whispered. “I know you're not too big on tea, so I fixed you some hot chocolate. I even added a little bit of extra cream.” She winked and handed me the mug.
Blushing, I reached over and took the mug from her hands and in a whispery tone of voice, I said.
“Thank you, sis,” I said smiling as she followed Heather’s example and raised the mug to my lips and blew some of the steam away. There really nothing like a mug of hot chocolate on a cold October night.
“Your welcome brat.” She said as she stuck out her tongue. She then took her seat. I was a seat on Heather’s right side and Lily on her right.
“So. Darlings, I’m sure you're wondering why I’m here. Well, the producers of Heather’s House Party heard about the little Halloween tradition you guys put on each year. The dunking stool thing. So I hoped on the Jackson-Yazoo City Express Train and swung on by. It was a pretty fete.” She said sipping her tea like a true lady.
“Totally is,” Lily said smiling. “Like every year, people volunteer to be dunked and that raises money for a local charity. it’s a good community event too.”
Heather nodded her head and smiled.
“Yes, I would love to learn about that later, but first, I need to know.. Which of you two lovely young ladies is Lily Elizabeth Potter and which is Jamie Sarah Potter?” She said her eyes flickering a little as she sat down her mug.
“That would be me,” I said taking a deep breath as I raised my hand smiled
Heather, who was dressed in long, flowing purple gown complete with purple pumps smiled at me and nodded her head.
“Looks like your getting dressed for bed darling.” She peered at me with her blue eyes, the eyes looked me up and down. Starting with my blonde hair that had been set in rollers, and traveling down to my pink nightgown. And finally coming to rest on slipper-clad feet. “Special date tomorrow, or do you normally put your hair in rollers before bed.?”
I blushed and looked up and peered up at the rollers.
“There having fall pictures made tomorrow,” I said in a matter of fact tone of voice.
“Oh! Well, I hope you wash your hair really good then!” She said with a giggle as she eased the mug of tea down and settled into the sofa.
“Because, Jamie darling, your older sister wants to me to give you a good gunging.” She stated in a matter of fact tone of voice as she reached down and pulled a letter out from her purse, she unfolded a white sheet of paper. She cleared her throat and held the paper in front of her.
“In fact, why don’t I read it here and now.” She said as she cleared her throat and peered toward us.
I shot Lily a look that would melt through a sheet of ice, Lily just stood there blushing. Mom just stood there sipping her tea like nothing was going on. And so unfolding the paper and smoothing it out in front of her she straightens her back and cleared her throat.
“Dear Heather Ford, I’m writing to you today, because my little sister Jamie Sarah Potters need a good gunging. First, let me tell you, I love the girl to death, but she been a real brat lately. A good example, she loves taking really long showers, that parts not so bad. But when she in the shower she always has to sing the newest Taylor Swift song at the top of her lungs and it's not like she can’t sing, but my room is right by the bathroom and when I’m doing math homework, She also.. She also committed the most major sin and like one day inhaled a whole carton of Luvel ice cream
Lily busted out laughing at the last one. Mom just stood there blinking. Finally, mom spoke,
“So, that where the ice cream went too... At least none of it was wasted.”
“That was a whole gallon though!” Lily said pouting as she folded her arms across her chest and sinking into the sofa. “And it was my favorite flavor though.” She added.
Heather smirked and stood up.
“Jamie, if you’ll be a dear and please follow me out. I have something to show you.” She said brushing off the front of her gown.
“Thank you for the tea, Mrs. Potter, you have two wonderful daughters.” She said smiling. “I quite like Benton, I think I might look into buying a house here and moving production here.” She said smiling as she eased the now empty mug of tea down upon the coffee table. She then started to move toward the front door and I being the Jack-dawn fool I followed her out.
I could feel my heart beating like a jack-hammer as I followed closely behind Heather as she guided me through the front door and down the brick paved walkway. The bricks that paved the walkway cooled my feet. A large crowd had also gathered in front of our house, the cobblestone street seemed to be filled with costumed clad people who gathered around the tank that seemed a grander version of the tank used in the yearly “Hostage Exchange”.
“Quite a sight to see?” She said smiling as she pushed open the small, black iron gate. That marked the boundary between our front yard and the street. The street was paved in brown cobblestone’s and the iron rails of the trolley that zoomed all over Benton was bedded deep down in them. The trolley still ran around thrice a day.
I nodded my head. As I followed her through the gate. A stagehand gave me a small smile as he reached down and took my hand into his own.
“Are lovely stand hand here will help you into the tank dear,” Heather said smiling as she opened the plastic door. “Though I will say, it’s a shame your not dressed up. I would have so loved to gunge a princess or a popular anime character tonight.” She said winking at the crowd pressed in to get a better view.
A deep blush colored my face as I started to climb up the steel steps that lead into the tank. Taking a deep breath, I stepped inside and eased my bottom down upon the stool that sat in the center of the tank. Above the stool was a spout, and above the spout there appeared to a large reservoir of creamy orange gunge. Fitting since it was almost Halloween. Once I have seated the door was closed and a brass latch was brought down, trapping me inside.
“Before I pull the leveler and cover you in forty gallons of ice cold, creamy and I think smelly gunge that sits above your head. I need to ask you a few questions.” She said pulling up a seat. She gently sat down and smoothed out the helm of her dress as she eased down in the chair.
I blushed and folded my hands over my face to cover the smirk appearing on my face. All around the booth, people were gathering around and pressing in. I could see there smiling faces. Among the crowd, I could easily recognize the faces of a number of classmates who had gathered around to see what all the noise was about.
“Wow. And it seems your quite popular here too.” She said smiling a little as she folded her hands in her lap and she focused her full attention on me.
I blushed and offered the gathered crowd a little wave as I settled my bottom squarely on the stool. Taking a deep breath and peered toward Heather who was smiling like a fox.
“You could say that,” I said forcing a laugh.
“So Jamie, Halloween is a time for dressing up, checking out haunted locations and going to parties. But going on what my inside source tells me or has been telling me all day, you’ve been doing but staying inside, watching horror movies and snacking.” Her tone seemed almost concerned and dripped with motherly concern.
I nodded my head and blushed a little as I peered toward Heather and then back at the ground.
“Because I’m shy. And I’m a little scared.” I said as I peered up at the gunge.
Heather smiled and peered toward me.
“We’ll Jamie, in a preshow interview with your sister. Lily. I asked for your favorite types of candies. She told me you love Reese Peanut Butter Cups, Mar’s Bars, M&M’s and KitKat’s.” She said counting out each named candy on her finger as she rattled off the list.
“Yes, those are my favorites,” I said blushing as I kicked my feet on the stool. The whole population of Benton seemed to be here. And not only the elite and the wealthy but people from the other areas. There must have been at least forty to fifty people gathering around the tank.
“Wonderful,” Heather said as she motioned for a stagehand to bring out something. A guy around Lily’s age soon appeared on the scene. In his hand, he was holding an orange bucket Okay it was more like a pail than a bucket. And was like those plastic Jack-O-Lantern buckets you see around Halloween. This one stood around eight inches tall and had a five inch opening at the top. The bucket was also filled to the brim was candy! And I mean filled to the bring with Reese Peanut Butter Cups, snack size bags of M&M’s, signal KitKat chocolate bars and a few other choices treats to match!
“Since it is Halloween. And Trick or Treating is a cherished Halloween tradition, I thought, it would be only right for me to give you a nice ‘Treat’ since I’m playing this trick on you. Now, dear..” Heather paused and looked up at me sitting on the stool. “Now, I think its time to get on with the main event. But I do have one more question for you, why are you not wearing a costume? Don’t you think she’ll look cute wearing a costume?” The question was directed toward the gathered crowd.
“Jamie would look totally adorable in one!” Cried a vampire nurse.
Heather blinked and blinked again as she peered toward vampire nurse. The costume was a vintage nurse dress, you know one of those white dresses, with a white apron worn over the front, white stocking and black dress shoes. Her long blonde hair had been pulled back into a ponytail and sitting upon her head was a nurses cap. The name tag pinned to the left side of her dress read “Joan RN” Fake blood had been smeared from one corner of her mouth to the other and some even splattered the front of her blouse.
“Oh! One of the ghouls has spoken! Come up here dear and tell me a little about yourself.
Joan smiled and started to make her way toward the seated Heather, who stood up and gave her a one arm hug. She then looked Joan up and down before giving her a nod of approval. “I gotta say, you look stunning dear heart. I take it you know Jamie?” She said as she nodded for a stagehand to pull a seat up. She patted the seat, inviting Joan to take a seat. Before returning to her own.
“Know here? She like my step-little sister! Like she dating my little brother, who’s totally head over heels in love with her.” She paused and looked up at me and smirked. “Jamie is too cute too like she always packs these Japanese style lunches, I think they're called Benton Boxes, okay its more like a mix of Japanese and Southern American you know. Like the meat dish would be some pulled pork and the side dishes would be steamed white rice and maybe a large bowl of Miso Soup. And she always brings two sweet teas! It's super cute to see him feeding her and she feeding him.”
The whole crowd gushed and made loud sounds of approval that caused me to blush deeply. Heather and Joan noticed me blushing and seemed to just laugh and giggle as I wiggled around in my seat. Getting a public gunging was one thing. But having to be interviewed like this was another deal altogether.
Heather then turned toward the camera and winked.
“Alright.” She paused and looked down at Joan nameplate and shrugged her shoulders “Joan thank you for your time and before we go, we have a little going away treat for you.” She nodded toward one of the stagehands who quickly produced a thick, custard pie. She balanced the custard pie in the palm of her hand and reached over and placed her hand on the back of Joan’s head and then smirking, she pushed the pie into her Joan's face!
The whole crowd busted into a loud round of applause filled the chilly October night. As crust, cream and custard exploded, coating Joan face. Joan could be heard giggling as she cleaned away some of the crust from her face and some cream as well. She took a deep breath and flicked the stuff on the paving stones.
“Thanks for the pie..” She said smirking as she used her fingers to clean remaining goo from her eyes so she could at least see!
“Your welcome dear.” Heather then turned her full attention toward me. Smiling she reached and a pulled a remote control and grinning she pressed the big red button that was located on the center. The Klaxon above the tanked sounded its dreaded alarm and from above a waterfall of ice cold, freezing gunge fell down above me. I screamed as the cold, thick, almost mud-like liquid rolled down on me.
I could not help but giggle as the gunge rolled down on my head. Soaking me to the bone. The thin fabric of my nightdress was no match for the massive onslaught that poured down from above, It felt like my whole body had been encased in ice, The gunge then became thicker and thicker and rolled down me, pooling in my lap and rolling down my back and soaking me through and through. My hair rollers were a soggy mess and somewhere coming to undone as the gunge flooded down to my side.
The bottom of the tank was filled with bright, pastel-colored orange gunk that smelled like. Oh dear God, Mother Mary and Father Joseph, it smelled like rotten fruit! I pouted and looked up and got a face full of the dredges of the slime.
“Oh dear.. You should have kept your head down? But how does it taste dear?” Heather teased as she peered toward me. She gave me a smirk a mile wide.
“Like death!”
“I expected as much, I think that left over from last Halloween!” She said smiling as the crowd that gathered around the tank started to laugh.
“Anyway, I want to thank you, Jamie! You have been a wonderful sport letting me do this to you! Also, thank you, Joan, for letting use that pie! And now folks, I think its time we bring this show to a close.”
And with that. I exited the tank and offered everybody a wave as I pondered what tomorrow will hold.
I woke up a little late the following morning. The sound of mom hammering on my bedroom door jarred me from my sleep. It took only a brief glance down at my phone to tell me why my mom was hammering on my bedroom door. I had overslept by a good half hour and was now running behind. Going into panic mode, I jumped out of bed, threw on a school blouse, slipped on a pair of panties, slipped on a skirt and forced on some socks and laced up my shoes.
I then bolted out of my bedroom and down the hallway, and then down the stairs. Running like a mad woman, I reached over and snatched my school satchel up. Mom greeted me at the door with a pre-packed lunch, large enough to share with Ben and a bottle of water and another of fresh brewed sweet tea. Kissing her on the cheeks, I bolted down the brick paved walkway.
My mind rushing ninety-nine miles an hour, I rounded the corner and slipped onto the trolley. My sister Lily who was calmly flipping through the newest issue of ‘Sweet Seventeen’ just looked up and rolled her eyes as she moved her backpack over. Smiling I flopped my bottom down upon the hard wooden seat.
“You missed a spot,” Lily said looking over at me. “Several too, and you need to brush your hair.” She said in a matter of fact tone of voice as she reached into her pack and pulled out a large wooden hairbrush. She handed me the brush, handle side first and several ponytail holders.
I felt a deep blush coloring my cheeks as I peered toward Lily, muttering something under my breath, I reached down and took the offered brush and slowly I started to brush out my hair. The trolley then lurched to life and started to roll down the street.
“You know, they're totally going to tease you today right? I mean, like for real girl, you smell of fruit.” Lily said as she reached up and pinched her nose and rolled her eyes. “You could have at least took a bath or something..” She added as she shifted her eyes toward me.
“Wow, somebody in full bitch mode today,” I respond as I rolled my eyes and shot glares toward my sister.
A deep, dark blush colored Lily face. I learned something since we’ll I become a girl. Girls often get catty with each other. A big sister could one day be your best friend and the next she could be a mortal enemy. And that wholesome image of a polite southern belle sitting on the front porch swing, sipping tea with a gloved hand and fanning herself with a paper fan was total nonsense. Nobody does that down here, okay maybe around Vicksburg and Natchez’s but in Benton, Nah.
“Okay, okay sorry,” Lily said as she sighed. “It was wrong for me to tease you, I’m sorry.” She said at last.
“And it was wrong for me to call you a bitch, even if you're acting like one.” I retorted as settled into my seat. I was still fuming about last night.
Lily sighed and rolled her eyes again as she looked out the window.
“I guess. I guess I have been acting like one. With me and Robin trying to open up that anime maid-café business downtown, doing stuff down at the bakery and trying to keep on top of my school work. I’m sure I might have been a little short with you sometimes. And I kind of went overboard with the whole gallon of ice cream thing. Even though that was my favorite flavor.”
“Hey, you gotta have something sweet when you watch Sword Art Online..” I said pouting a little.
Lily rolled her eyes and then she reached over and wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a one arm hug. Sighing again she muttered under her breath, “Your such a dork, but I love you to death girl.” She then released me and smiled.
I smiled too, the hug had pretty much vanished the tension building between us. Peering out the window I noticed we were near the school. Sensing time was fleeting, I gathered up my courage and asked a question. One that had been bothering for days on end.
“Hey, Lily?”
Lily blinked and turned around and stared at me for a minute. Finally, after what felt like hours of her peering into my soul, she said.
“What?”
“So, it been on my mind a lot. Why did you ask Madeline if she can become a petite, but like I’m your sister and you totally did not ask me?” I said quickly before my courage could fade away.
Lily blinked and blinked again as her eyes widen. She then took a deep breath and after a few tense seconds, she spoke and when she spoke there was a certain understanding of her worlds.
“Okay, totally did not expect you to be into that type of thing. Like the uniforms are these cute anime maid theme ones right. You know like a risqué version of the French maid one. And since you declined to dress up this past Halloween. I thought its not your thing. And you don’t really bake or brew too a lot. I mean you help with the cooking and you did bake like an apple pie from scratch last week that both mom and Aunt Molly swore tasted just like grannies, and you don’t really wear heels much..” Lily started.
I nodded my head, I felt my cheeks starting to flush with color. I was starting to understand, that even though Lily and I where sisters, we were totally different in some ways. And let's be honest, no big sister ever wants her dorky little sister hanging around her. And the way the conversation was going.. I felt Lily was about to let me down and gently reject my offer.
“But, you’re my sister… and were family. So I guess if you want I can talk to Robin about. I mean would you mind wearing a risqué French maid costume in front of the whole town, while serving tea and cakes and such?” She inquired.
“Sure,” I said blushing.
“And would mind taking a few pies for charity?” She said added the last part. “We talked to Madeline about doing something of an ‘Pie the Petite’ event for her. And since your going to our second petite, that is a student learning the trade. We might need to do the same for you.”
“Lily…” I said rolling my eyes.
“Jamie..” She said smirking.
“I’ve been gunged twice! First one for the homecoming thing, the whole ‘Hostage’ exchange and the second one was just last night. Heck, I’m figuring if I’m going to become a superhero or not from contest expose to the stuff.” I said returning her own smirk with one of my own.
“God your such a dork!”
I could not respond to her comment, for at that moment the trolley stopped and soon the mad scramble to get off the carriage and into school started in earnest. Since I was sitting on the outside, I was the first to stand up, followed by Lily. Soon our feet where touching concrete as the bell on top the trolley rang and pulled away. Taking a deep breath I peered toward the schoolhouse that loomed ahead like a sprawling giant.
“I’ll send Robin a text after the first period. And by lunch, I should have an answer for you. I don’t think she’ll have a problem with it since you’re my little sister and all. But if by chance she says no.. then no hard feeling right?”
I adjusted the straps on my satchel and peered over my shoulder at Lily. Lily stood there shifting her weight from one foot to the other her baby blue eyes were cast down at the ground and a worried look graced her face. I could tell she was weighing the pros and cons in her head.
“Nah, it's your life. If she says no then no big deal. Robin, Madeline and You could handle things..” I said. And with that, I started to walk toward the doors. I felt, I oddly felt tears starting to build at the corner of my eyes. And I could not explain why those tears were starting to build, being Jamie was so totally different than being James in more ways than one. I can’t really list the reasons, they're too personal to name. But the biggest thing affecting me right now was my mood. One moment everything would be happy fields of smiling trees, prancing bunnies, puppies and a big ol’ smiling sun high in a baby blue sky. The next, everything was gray and dead, tombstones replaced the smiling trees, zombies the prancing bunnies and rotting flowers the green grace and instead of a big ol’ smiling sun in a clear blue sky, there would be only gray, dark sky’s with rain pouring down in sheets and white-hot lighting crisscrossing the sky.
Yep, today was going to be one of those days.
The first period was oddly peaceful. Nobody really seemed to bother me much. The second period a few people made passing comments about what happened. Those comments passed over my head, the third period, was when I caught hell. Hell as in my whole world seemed to fall apart. I’d been feeling on edge all morning, and my fight with my sister on the way to school had been bothering me all day. But halfway through my history lesson, my head felt heavy and I felt very weak all of a sudden. I soldiered on though. And somehow I finished my lessons before forcing myself to stand up and change classes again. The fourth period was Math and since our main teacher was out for the day, the teacher in question had left little in the way for lessons planned for the person filling in for them, so it was a general free day.
I slept most of that period. I would like to say that when the bell rung, I woke up refreshed and ready for lunch. Instead, as I lifted my head from the desk, the harsh white light stung my eyes and I felt very light headed. I forced myself to stand up and collect my books. I felt like a zombie as I limped down the hall toward the lunch room. The whole world seems to zoom on by me as I dragged my self along the hallway.
“Hey, Jamie!” Called a voice from behind me. I stopped and turned around and smiled. Rushing toward me was be. For the first time today, I felt a smile forming upon my face as he came by my side and placed his hands upon my shoulder. My heart leaped into my throat as turned to face him. Then it happens, my knees gave out and I dropped down in the hallway.
“Jamie!” He called out as he kneeled down and held me. “What on earth is going on..” He said going down on his knees and putting both hands on my shoulder. “Man, your burning up..” He whispered into my ear.
“Its because you're holding me,” I said smiling softly as I nuzzled into his chest. The smell of his body spray, the feeling of his strong arms holding me tight. I felt safe and secure. I took another deep breath of his scent and closed my eyes. I just wanted to rest with him holding.
“Jamie!” He almost shouted just as I was about to fall asleep. “We need to get you to the nurse's office..” He said taking a deep breath as he forced me to stand up. I groaned and slowly opened my eyes. His face started to twist with worry as peered toward me.
“Ben I’m fine,” I said trying to stand, It was a big mistake for soon I found myself splayed out upon the ground. My cheeks flushed red, as now people where stopping and staring at Ben and I, could feel there gaze piercing through the haze rising up in front of me.
“What going on here?” A stern female voice called out. I looked up and noticed one of the new teachers was slowly making her way toward Ben and I. “Why is that girl on the ground! And why are you holding her, somebody better start telling me something, or I’m going to lock both of you down in detention.”
“Jamie is..” Ben voice trailed for a minute. “Jamie is sick!” He cried as he reached down and wrapped his arms under me. He then lifted me up and pressed me close to his chest. I turned my head and buried my face in his shirt. The calming darkness blocked out the piercing white light.
“Potter.” The women with a commanding voice called out as she peered toward me. “What wrong with you girl.”
I twisted my neck around and peered toward the women who was standing before us. I tried to open my mouth and found myself too weak to talk. The women scowled and reached over and placed her hands upon my forehead and then upon my neck. As she pulled away from her hands, she started to frown and a look of great concern came over her.
“Potter your burning up.” She muttered under her breath. “Jesus the nurse’s office is closed too..” She turned around and looked at me and then she peered toward Ben. She sighed and folded her arms across her chest. “Take her to the office, there should be somebody there. Once you get into the office, tell them Mrs. Smith told you, to tell them that they need to give Potter something for fever. The girl’s boiling what little brains she has left in that thick head of hers.” She muttered.
I was too weak to respond. But I soon felt myself being lifted up and carried down the hallway. A cold shiver passed over me as I reached up and wrapped my fingers around Ben’s arm. As I wrapped my fingers around Ben’s arm, gasping for support, I noticed the hallway started to change. The lockers started to melt, the ground started to shake. The colors on the posters that hung on the hallway started to run down the walls and pool on the ground. Then like acid, they started to melt through the ground, revealing huge gaps in our world. Billions of stars and planets could be seen through these ‘Holes’ in the ground.
“We're almost there Jamie,” Ben said as he rounded the hallway and pushed into the office. I did not trust myself to talk, I don’t think I could talk. Everything seemed too strange. Once Ben had carried me into the office, he eased me down into one of the chairs. It was a nice chair. With a soft cushion, the cushion felt nice and cool against my skin.
My eyes focused in on Ben, who was talking with one of the staff. The women looked over at me, and then at Ben, then back at me. After a few seconds she reached under the desk and pulled out a small white box, a big red cross had been painted across the top of the box. She opened the box and pulled out a really retro looking medical thermometer. You know those old fashion glass kind. She walked over to me, looked me dead in the eyes and in a commanding tone of voice told me.
“Open your mouth.”
I opened my mouth, and as soon it was open she pushed the thermometer into my mouth.
“Keep it under your tongue for at least three minutes.” She said as she turned around and walked back behind the desk.
I muttered something but did my best to keep the thing under my tongue. The women then looked over at Ben. And in the same, commanding icy tone of voice, she said.
“You can return to class. We don’t need to witness a junior episode of ‘Days of Our Life’s’ in here.” She said. She was now standing behind the desk drawer, the box was still open and she was rumbling around in it. Digging I should say. Everything seemed to be calming down, the room was no longer spinning, the ground no longer shaking. But I still felt weak, the white light still hurt my eyes and my head felt light headed and my tummy started to cramp and twist. After free minutes she returned.
“This better be good Ms. Potter. And not another stunt, you pulled the wool over our eyes once before. I’ll not let it be happing again.” She said as she snatched the thermometer out of my mouth. She then held the tiny glass thing up to the light, adjusted her glasses and leaned in. She quickly drew back and rushed back behind the desk.
Once she was behind the desk, she reached over and snatched the old landline phone off its cradle. Once the phone was in her hands, she started to punch a lot of numbers. I don’t know what she said, because she spoke in a low, whispery tone of voice. But she said yes a lot. Finally, she slammed the phone back down and then she fixed Ben and me with a look the almost screamed ‘Sorry’.
“I’m sorry, but there nothing I can do for you, Ms. Potter. An ambulance is on its way, they will take you from school to King Daughters Hospital. Please stay here until it arrives. Ben, if you wish, you may stay and keep Ms. Potter company..” She paused. “You have a very high fever, the thermometer read a hundred and three. I’ll go call your sister. And your mom and dad.”
I blinked and reached over to take Ben by the hand. He wrapped his fingers around mine and we both sat there, holding each other. A few seconds later, the woman's voice came over the intercom system.
“Lily Elizabeth Potter, please come to the office. Lily Elizabeth Potter, please come to the office.”
I could only close my eyes. The pain was starting to become too much for me…
To be continued in Jamie in Cartoon Land*
*Cartoon Land in local vernacular refers to the pediatric ward of MMC (Mississippi Medical Center) so named because of the fact that many of the walls of the ward are adorned with colorful, cartoon murals of popular Saturday Morning cartoons from both the past and present. Popular comic book characters, such as Batman, Superman, and the Green Lantern also make appearances, as do characters of certain animes, chief among them are Ash Ketchum and Sailor Moon.
Time seemed to slow down, really it seemed to grind to a halt. As the minutes ticked by, the fever seemed to get worse, the pain in my belly grew more intense and small beads of sweat started to form on my forehead. Each time I opened my eyes the room started to spin around and around and around. And what worried me the most was in one of the chairs of the room there appeared a shadow. The shadow looked like me, we’ll a version of me before I started taking steps to become Jamie. No, this shadow was James, who was sitting there, legs crossed hands folded behind his head and his eyes, deep pools of fiery redness fixed firmly upon me.
“Hello, Jamie.” The shadow said. “Seems your not doing too good right now.” The shadow said grinning as it stood up and walked across the room. “Remember me, I’m you. Or you killed, you killed me, replaced me, tried to push me into the shadows. And now I’m back. Back to follow you and get my revenge.”
I tried to speak, but nothing came out, my throat was too dry to form words. The shadow only smirked as it peered down at me. As it peered down at me, it smiled and as it smiled I could see row upon row of white teeth that seemed to drip with dark red blood. The blood dripped down from the top of the mouth and ran down in red streams down the corners of the twisted smirk and finally down the chin.
“Jamie!” I broke the gaze of the shadow and peered in the doorway. In the doorway stood my sister. She was peering toward me. Slung over her shoulder was her backpack. She walked into the room, walked toward me, placed the backpack down upon the ground and reached out and placed her hand upon my cheek and then upon my head. “Girl you're burning up…” She muttered as she shifted her attention toward Ben. Who was still holding my hand?
“I’m freezing..” I muttered. As I tried to focus my eyes on Lily, “So, what did Robin say?” I said as I leaned back into the chair. It was crazy, one minute you feel like your soaking in melted lava, the next minute you feel your soaking in a tub of freezing cold water.
“Here,” Ben Said standing up and removing his jacket. He placed his jacket over my shoulders and started to button the buttons. It was like a make-shift blanket only it smelled like Ben, was fleece lined and oh did I mention it smelled like Ben, that was a total bonus.
Lily blinked and blinked again as she watched Ben remove his coat and place it around me. She offered him a small smile before turning toward me. She swallowed hard and kneeled down. She took my hands into hers and peered into my eyes. It was like she was trying to break some bad news to me.
“She said.. Listen don’t take this the wrong way sister. Cause this might come across as hitting below the belt. And I’m sure once she sits down and talks with you, she’ll be totally cool with having you help us.” She said placing her hands into mine. “Man your hands are like ice..”
I learned in, out of the corner of my eye I could see the shadow again. It was peering at me, smirking at me, from its mouth I could see a long, back tong sticking out between the rows of sharp white teeth that were still dripping with blood. The sight of those teeth made me want to throw up, I would have too if I felt throwing up would not do more harm than good.
“She said No, I’m afraid. She said having one helper might be more than we can handle.” She said with a sigh.
I sniffed and I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Lily reached up and cleared the tear away, a small smile formed on Lily face as she squeezed my hand and nuzzled her cheeks into them, I think she was trying to transfer some of her body heat into me.
“But listen, we're not going to open till Eastertide. It's only All Soul’s Day. Something bound to happen to change her mind between now and then. Let me talk to her, let her talk to you. Let her see what kind of women you can become. Okay, now, let's just get you better.”
At the time, a man and a woman entered the room. Both were dressed in what I’ll call, heck I don’t know what you’ll call it. boots, form-fitting pants. Long sleeve shirts. Both had boxes in their hand. The women, who kind of reminded me of the tough rocker chicks you see on MTV Music Video’s was the first one to speak.
“Hey, I’m looking for a Jamie Potter..” She said addressing the room as she reached down pulled out a pair of plastic blue gloves from her pocket and snapped them on.
“She here!” Called Ben and Lily together. The women nodded her head and walked over to me, she kneeled down and peered into my eyes. I tried to smile, but let's be real, it's hard to smile when your brain feels like its being boiled like a peanut.
“Hey,” I said taking a deep breath.
“Hey, I’m Marie and this is my partner Jack, where paramedics. Right now, I need you to stand up, Jack going to bring in a stretcher, we need you to lay down on the stretcher and be very still while we buckle you up. Once you're buckled up, we're going to wheel you out and load you up. Okay?”
I nodded my head.
“Once you're loaded up, we're going to take you to the E.R of King’s Daughters Hospital. They have an exam room already set up for you. Then depending on what they say, your either going home to rest and recover or maybe Jack and I will take you to Jackson. Anyway, you're in good hands hon.”
I nodded my head again, to show my understanding.
What happens then, seemed to pass in almost a blur. I remember being helped down, Mari and Jack helped me onto the stretcher, I was strapped down and then pushed out into the hallway. Both sides of the hallway where filled to the brim with students and teachers alike. Jack was in front and Mari was in back, following Mari was Ben and Lily. As we made our way down the hallway, I noticed some students signed themselves with the cross as I passed them, others just stood there scowling. The few Catholic’s among us, where holding their Rosaries in their hands. One girl, a blonde hair one rushed up and placed hers in my hand, she then patted it and returned to her collection of friends.
I smiled at the jester. And yes, that shadow from before was floating along with us. Thankfully it said nothing, but its menacing grin still peered down at me.
The two paramedics then wheeled me out of the school and into the back of the waiting ambulance. Marie climbed in back with me, and Jack climbed into the driver's side. Before the doors where closed, I looked up and saw Lily standing upon the school common. Ben was standing beside her, I gave them both a smile and offered a little wave, the door was then closed and the ambulance drove away.
“They're not going to miss you. You heard what your sister said. Her best friend thinks your not good enough to help them with that little maid café. Once you're gone, she’ll be free. And Ben will be free, your mom and dad will be free, everybody will be better off..” The shadow whispered into my ear.
“SHUT UP!” I screamed as I wrapped my fingers around the prayer beads. “Would you shut the fuck up!” I cried again. “Cause I’m honestly getting tired of your shit!” I tried to sound brave and fearsome, but the last remark had brought tears running down my cheeks. The salty tears were choking me as they ran down from my eyes, down my burning cheeks, and into my mouth.
“… something bothering you hon?” Marie said as she looked over at me.
I groaned and closed my eyes, the shadow only stood there smiling, smirking, laughing almost. Today had gone from bad to worst…
You could almost cut the tension in the room with a butter knife. The last hour and a half had been the most intense, soul-crushing, mind-numbing one of my life. Once I had arrived, I had found myself surrounded by nurses and more than a few doctors. The doctors and nurses wasted no time in rushing me back to the exam rooms. And they wasted no time in drawing blood, X-Ray’s were ordered and they finally poked an IV tube in my arm. And they started me on drips. I don’t really know, once the IV was put in, everything became quite sluggish.
I just know I was along, save for that damn shadow that was still hanging around the corner of the ward. Every few seconds it would peer toward me, hiss at me, menace me and just generally peer at me. I wanted to close my eyes and maybe snatch some forty winks, but that damn, bloody shadow always seemed to move a half inch closer every time I closed my eyes. And I was quite afraid of what the thing would do once it reached me.
Finally, I could take it no longer, being along, with only that shadow to keep me company and the smell of blood, roasted flesh, and screams and coming over from the other wards, we’ll all those started to wither down the last few remaining ounces of my sanity. It seemed there was a huge, three car pile-up out on the highway. And as a result, the tiny rural clinic had been flooded with a rush of new bodies. Some of those had been reported D.O.R, I don’t know the details, but what I could gather from the whispered, hurried snippets of conversation the nurses, doctors and other medical staff exchanged as the hurried by the thin curtain that separated me from that gore fest outside.
Finally, after an hour and a quarter the doctor returned and taking a deep breath he looked down at me and in a tired, defeated tone of voice said.
“So, Jamie, I got some news for you. For one, we’ve found out what wrong with you. Your appendix are inflamed and we’ll where be going to remove them. Now, I’ve called your folks, there on there way. As you can guess, there was a pretty big pileup on the highway. And traffic was blocked for miles coming and going. Normally, I’ll say let's wait till they're here. But, right now we can’t wait. So, I’m going to go ahead and send you to Jackson, I’ve called ahead and MMC is getting ready for you.”
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and slowly started to nod my head. So say I was scared was an understatement. I was scared out of my mind, but the doctor seemed sure of himself. Using the last remains of strength I reached up and made the sign of the cross over myself. As I crossed myself, I whispered a prayer under my breath. The doctor blinked and tilted his head to the side.
“By chance, are you Catholic?” He asked once I had finished crossing myself.
“Episcopal..” I said closing my eyes.
“Okay, I guess I could call Rev. Brown over here..” He said shrugging his shoulders. Just then the door to my room was pushed open and in the doorway stood Jack and Marie, the two from before. They quickly moved passed the doctor moved to my side. Once they where by my side they hoisted me up and placed me back down on the rolling stretcher.
Once I was laying down, they strapped me down and lifted me up and rolled me out of the door and into the hallway. The hallway was filled with the smell of blood, vomit, and body fluids. The smells played havoc with my mind and caused me to groan louder and caused the vile at the back of my throat to grow more intense with each passing second.
“Wait!” A sudden voice called out. The voice belonged to a boy, a boy who seemed quite out of breath. “PLEASE WAIT! I NEED TO SEE HER. PLEASE HOLD ON A MINUTE.”
Everybody paused and from down the hallway came Ben, he was rushing toward us. His face was redder than an apple and his chest was rising and falling with each step he took. Sweat was dripping off his forehead and down his nose. His shirt was out, and unbutton all the way down.
“Ben.,” I said blinking as I peered toward him. “Ben.,” I said reaching out to take hold of his hand.
“Jamie!” He said rushing to my side as he reached over and took me by the hand and leaned over and kissed me on the mouth. I blinked and allowed the waves of pleasure to wash over me as I felt his tongue entering into my mouth. I felt a sudden spark of excitement flood my body as are two tongues connected.
“Jamie, please don’t die, please you can’t die.” He said as he broke the kiss and peered down at me, he reached up and started to stroke my hair. The nurses and doctors paused and peered toward us, somewhere blushing, others where gushing. Finally, a man in a blue uniform walked over and tapped Ben on the shoulder. He nodded his head and released my hand and broke away.
“Jamie, I love you. Please, please don’t you die on me..”
“Ben…” I said reached up to stroke his chin. And then fitting enough, snow started to fall. As the first few flakes of snow fell down on me, I felt a small sense of peace growing at the back of my mind. Maybe it was the drugs, or maybe it was God, I don’t know. I just smiled as they loaded me up in the back and closed the doors. Just as the doors where closing, mom, dad, and Lily finally showed up. After a few minutes of debating among themselves, mom decided to ride with me to the place of doom and gloom. Dad decided to stay with Lily who was looking white as a ghost. Once I was loaded up, I offered them a little wave through the back viewing window and we pulled away.
As we pulled away, I watched them huddle around each other. I closed my eyes, I intended to get some sleep at last, but I felt something touch my arm. My eyes shot open and there standing at the foot of the stretcher was the shadow. The shadow was larger now and slowly it leaned over me and in a harsh tone of voice, it whispered to me.
“They're going to kill you.” It said in a cackling tone of voice. “They're going to cut you up, that all it takes,” The shadow grinned as it reached down and started to trace my belly with its long fingernails. “One slip of the knife, or one thrust.” He pushed his fingers down into my belly, a sharp pain flooded through my body and caused me to groan and shutter and cough as I rolled over. Much to the alarm of Mari.
“And you’ll be gone, and then you will join me in HELL!” The shadow cackled as it started to fade away. Salty tears started to run down my cheeks as I watched the shadow vanish into the darkness. “You go to hell!” I yelled. Mari at this point was reaching into her medical kit. She pulled out something, a shot of some kind. She then gently placed the needle into my arm and pressed down on the pump. I don’t remember what happened then. Only I felt my eyes becoming heavy and soon I fell into a dreamless sleep.
The wind was blowing hard, harder than before and small flakes of snow were starting to fall down from the sky. The sky above me was gray and cloudy and my whole body felt numb and small flecks of snow were falling down upon me. The door of the ambulance had just opened and I had been awoken from my sleep by the blinding light. My whole mind was numb too.
I felt the gurney being lifted up and rolled out of the doors, a cold gust of wind smacked me hard in the face. The wind sent a chill down the spine of my back. The parking lot was filled with ambulances, and as soon as I was unloaded I was rushed through the sliding doors of the hospital. The ride from Benton to Jackson must have taken less than twenty minutes, but it felt like years. In those twenty minutes I had done everything in my power to keep from freaking out. I wanted my mom, I wanted my sister, I wanted my dad and I really wanted my boyfriend. I wanted my family.
“I don't want to die.” I said as I closed my eyes and opened them again. Nobody seemed to notice me, they just kept pushing me down this long hallway. I was no longer afraid, I was no longer scared, I just wanted it to end. I wanted the pain to stop, I wanted to become a waitress at the little café my sister was going to open. I wanted to live my life as Jamie, free of emotional baggage that had kept James down. I wanted to scream out and yell it out. But when I opened my mouth, the only thing I could say was. “I don't want to die here..” And nobody was around to hear me.
I closed my eyes and opened them again. I was surrounded by nurses and doctors. A sea of green scrubs surrounded me, all them poking me with long needles. And then he returned standing behind the nurses and doctors was that damn shadow. Only this time it was not a shadow, but a darker, more sister version of past self.
“Don't worry Jamie.” He hissed as he moved through the nurses and doctors. “Death is painless. I promise, you're not going to feel a thing. We'll be the dying part you're not going to feel. No, the pain killers and the drugs will ease your passing. You'll be like little Alice, falling down a rabbit hole, only when you land, you'll be in Hell instead of Wonderland, and instead of colorful, friendly cartoon characters to greet you, there will be only demons and devils.”
I blinked and to my horror the thing started to move a little closer to me. It then stopped and looked down over the railing of the gurney at me. I could feel his eyes looking down at me. He then moved a little closer and then a little closer till he was only a few inches from my face. I could smell its breath fire and ash.
“Then we are going to torture you forever. You will live a thousand lives and you will be killed in each one. No prayers will save you, God will not send his angels to defend you. The collection of saints, mystics and holy women you pray too will never hear your prayers. All your prayers will fall on deaf ears. And you will suffer, you will suffer so much.” He whispered as he leaned down. I could feel his breath on my neck. My whole back stiffened up and I closed my eyes and prayed for the image to leave me. After what seemed like forever and a day I slowly opened them again. And to my horror there he stood.
“St. Joan will defend me..” I whispered a little as I reached up and touched the small saint medal that hung from around my neck. “The Maid of Orleans will defend me, she will save me.” I said in trying to sound braver than I felt. I mean, it was clear I was facing something demonic. I mean what a time to face a demon, minutes before going under and nothing to defend myself with but my wits.
“Where is the fable 'Maid of Orleans'?” He said standing up and looking around himself. He looked to his left and then he looked to his right. “I don't see her, could it be she still tied to that stake and still getting burned alive. Would you like that Jamie? To be burned alive at the stake like your favorite saint. To be sold out to the people you saved to the enemy? I can make that happen if you wish.”
Then I remembered something a prayer an old priest had taught me. The words came rushing out of my lips, I'm not sure how I managed to say them. The fever was getting hold of me, and the pain in my side was causing me to see double of everything including that damn shadow version of myself.
“St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O prince of the heavenly hosts, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan, and all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.” I said, in a shouting tone of voice that caused all heads to turn me. I had lifted myself up and had taken hold of the shirt the shadow was wearing. Those words I had spat into his ash covered face.
The shadow started to back away.
“You will be asleep soon..” He said in a menacing tone of voice. “You will be in my world soon. Then we will see how strong your faith is. Then we will see the true measure of your strength. I will show you the true power of the demonic. Your battling forces your puny little mind can never fully understand. And in the end, you are nothing but a scared boy. Who decided life might be better as a girl. But true me when I say this James. I will see you in HELL. I'll drag you personally before the throne of my master, naked, whipped, whipped raw!” He bellowed. “And my master will make you his bitch.”
And with that he retreated into the shadows. What happened then was the nurses dragged me into a room. Once I was there a blonde hair nurse wearing green scrubs appeared beside me. The nurse was pushing a trolley that had a number of medical tools sitting upon the surface.
“Hey, Jamie.” She said smiling. “I'm Holly and I'm going to be your anesthesiologist today. Now that a pretty big word, but just remember I'm the person who's to put you asleep and wake you back up once you've had you operation.” She said in a soothing tone of voice. “Now before I put you asleep, is there anything you want to say or do something.”
“I want to see a priest..” I said. “Like right now..”
The woman blinked.
“I demand to have to have my last rites..” I said firmly. I knew what awaited me when I went to sleep. I knew what would happen. And somehow at that moment in time I could see past the pain, past the emotional turmoil and past the fear and dread that was nipping at my heels since this morning.
“Okay,” She said, blinking as she started to back up. “We have a priest on duty. I'll go find him.” And with that she left the room. A few minutes passed before Holy returned with a man who seemed no older than my dad. The fellow had short brown hair and odd colored eyes, I want to say they were reddish but they looked more pink. The man was dressed in a black button down shirt, black trousers that were held up by a black leather belt. And finally a white clerical collar and a small silver cross completed the outfit. The priest walked toward the side of my bed and took a seat. His pink eyes seemed to sparkle.
“Hello, my name is Percival Bell. I am an Episcopal priest.” He said in a measured tone of voice. “Is it true that you wish to have last rites prayed over you?” He added, again the way he talked made it seem like he was dragging the words out of his mouth. He had that old southern charm about him. It's hard to explain to an outsider, but I could tell from his accent he came from the upper rungs of society.
“Yes Father.” I said laying back down.
He nodded his head and reached his hand out. His hand was cold as ice water. I took a deep breath the minute I felt his hand touching my forehead and then in the same measured pattern of speaking he said.
“Through this holy anointing may the Lord in his love and mercy help you with the grace of the Holy Spirit. May the lord who frees you from sin save you and raise you up.” He said in a powerful, commanding tone of voice and then he softy traced the sign of the cross in my forehead.
“May I ask your name young lady?” He asked.
“Jamie Sarah Potter..” I said quickly.
“I will be praying for you.” And with that being said he stood up and walked out of the room. Holly then put me asleep like she promised. My eyes grew heavy and I started to nod off. A group of nurses started to surround me, they started pushing me out of the room and into the hallway. I heard my mom and dad say something, it seemed they had just arrived at the hospital. I heard Lily too.
The hallway was filled with cartoon murals. And while those murals were supposed to be soothing and calming and a bit fun. The fever burning my brain had cast a dark shadow. And then I fell into a deep sleep. One that had me dreaming that I was falling through an darken hole, and as I feel I heard the mocking voices of all my loved ones, and most frightening of all they sounded so real I thought I was hearing them, I heard Lily's voice, a voice that had been supportive and comforting become mocking and teasing, I heard my mothers voice become scolding and condescending and my father's voice who had always been gentle and firm became hard and loud. I felt like I was falling into hell.
I found myself standing in the middle of a field or maybe it was a meadow. I could hear the babbling of a nearby brook. The soothing sound of water running over stones put me at ease. The buzzing of big fat bumble bees from one flower to another added its own charm. The sky was a deep blue color. A very peaceful blue. The whole area was surrounded by trees, huge fir and pine trees that reached high into the sky. Past the line of trees, I could clearly see snow capped mountains and beyond that I felt there must have been tiny little settlements. Old world style villages with cobblestone paved streets that were lined with mom and pop owned stores. No doubt in the center of everything was a fountain that spewed clear, cold, refreshing water.
Then it happened. In the blink of an eye all of this beauty vanished. The green grass, the wild flowers and trees vanished before my eyes. The earth became gray and black and smelled of ash. The trees now seemed to be on fire and burning brightly like torches. The sky had changed from a peaceful soothing blue color to red, gray and dark.
And those snow capped mountains, they became volcanoes that spewed rivers of orange and red lava, huge pillowing clouds of black smoke, and a fine rain of ash and hot cinders. And beyond those mountains of fire and ash, I fear laid the ruined remains of those little settlements. The houses abandoned and broken, the streets littered with the withered remains of villagers, and the fountains bone dry. I felt like I had been allowed to view heaven for a few seconds before the almighty had decided to throw me into the pit of hell. Because this must have been hell.
“Welcome Jamie.” A voice said from across the field. “I've been expecting you. Welcome to hell. Here go the souls of all good sinners. And people like you.” The voice echoed across the field. The voice had a mocking, teasing tone to it. The kind of voice that made your blood boil.
I stood there and said nothing.
“Silent as the grave.” The voice said. “Or are you brooding? Brooding because nobody wants you, or because you finally understand that your whole life has been nothing more than a waste of time and money. Born a boy, but played with dolls instead of toy soldiers. Born a boy, but always depended on your older sister to bail you out of trouble. A horrible boy, a weak boy. Who decided that life would be better if you were a girl. But you sucked at being a girl too. Heck even your older sister.. kind of washed her hands of you.”
Again I said nothing.
“Silence?” The voice said again and then the source of the voice appeared. The shadow, the mocking shadow of my former self appeared before me. I knew this was coming. The shadow walked up to me, and poked its fingers into my budding chest. “What wrong? Cat got your tongue? Or is the truth too much of a bitter pill for you to swallow?”
“Courage of Saint Catherine, who will never run from battle. The sword of Saint Michael the defender of the weak and powerless. And the blood of Saint George, that slew the dragon. These were the gifts given to me by my patron saint. Saint Joan of Arc.” I said, smirking.
And then it happened. Like something straight out of an anime. I felt a sudden surge of power come over me. My hospital gown became something of a loose yet form fitting blouse. Over the blouse there appeared a coat of chain mail that glimmered like silver and over the chain mail appeared a breastplate of silver. A pleated blue skirt appeared at the bottom of the breastplate. White stocking and brown shoes. And then in my hand appeared a sword that gleamed like polished silver.
“So.” The voice said. “You do have some fight left in you. You know, you look like some reject from some anime than a warrior. But since you want to play, I'll play. Just make it worth my time.” He said snickering as he reached down with his open palm. Swirls of dark clouds started to gather in the open palm of his hand. Those same dark clouds started to gather around him. And soon they had cloaked him from the top of his head down to the very bottom of his toes. Then there was a blinding flash of violet light that pierced my eyes and for a moment stunned me.
Slowly as the light started to fade, I noticed that the shadow self standing in front of me had undergone a transformation. Now he was dressed like me, only with trousers instead of a skirt. Black and purple flames danced around his sword and his eyes seemed almost on fire. They had gone from a murky blue color to a horrible red and orange color. And then it happened, we clashed.
I don't remember how it started. I don't know if I charged him, or if he charged me, but are blades crossed. The sound of sword meeting swords echoed across the field. I would attack and he would reflect my blows, he would attack and I would reflect. It was like we were dancing, a horrible dance that would end with one of us getting killed by the other. And that was the whole point of the struggle right? I wanted to kill this shadow standing before me, that what you do in battle right, you try to kill the other guy before he kills you. But what happens when you're trying to kill a part of yourself?
The battle raged all across that field, neither I or the shadow gave one inch of ground. Time to time one of us would get lucky and land a blow on the other. Soon both he and I were covered in cuts, and before long both of us had been worn down to nothing. Droplets of blood splashed down on the ground in front of me, the droplets of blood came from the many wounds the shadow inflicted on me, and on the shadow droplets of what appeared to be black tar dropped down from the many wounds I had inflicted upon him.
And so there we stood, peering at each other, chest rising and falling in unionism. Both of us were breathing pretty heavy and the shadow seemed to have plenty of fight left in him. I on the other hand was starting to feel the effects of my wounds, while I was aware that I might be dreaming, I was also aware that dying in a dream was pretty messed up. But then again.. was this really a dream? Was I really dreaming? I mean as far as I know, I could be laying dead on the operating table right now and the nurses were just about to pull the sheet over my head.
“Something troubling you?” The shadow called out as he drew in another deep breath. “Because you stopped the waltz.” He added as he closed his eyes and breathed out a heavy sigh. “It's rude you know, to stop a waltz.”
“You talk a lot of shit.” I responded.
“I'm you.” He responded. “And now I'm going to do to you what you did to me!” He called as he seemed to gather up his last few ounces of remaining strength His eyes became blazing balls of fire once more. And it seemed the time was at hand to finish this fight.
“I'm about to kill you, Jamie Sarah Potter.” The shadow said in a menacing tone of voice. “I'm going to kill you in the dream world, then drag your remains down into hell. I'm going to drag you by your hair, before the throne of my master. Your soul is damned to the fires of hell, and nobody going to miss you.” He paused.
“Any final words? Any last words before I drive my sword sixteen inches through that bony body of yours?”
“Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.” I chanted. As somebody who had been raised on the high side of the Anglican faith. I was use to chanting my prayers. And the prayer just fit. I think eighteen maybe nineteen hours had passed since this twisted adventure began. Okay it was more like a rollercoaster.
“Praying again? I fail to see the point in you praying at all. Again, I ask you, where is your God? Where are these supposed armies of saints and handmaidens that pray without ceasing around the throne? I see only a broke, bleeding doll. A clay pot that is about to be shattered. You are dust Jamie Sarah Potter, and to dust you shall return.” He bellowed as he tighten his grip on the hilt of his sword.
And then it was over. It happened all to the fast, I remember sprinting toward the shadow, I caught him off guard and drove my blade deep into his chest. I drove the sword to the hilt. And to my horror I felt him driving his own blade into my chest as well. Our blood mingled and spilled on the ground together. Then we dropped together. My eyes grew heavy as my warm blood gushed forth and soaked into the blackened earth I was standing on. And the shadow slowly vanished, he became like dust and a sudden powerful gust of wind scattered the dust to the four corners of the earth.
And for the first time that day I allowed myself to smile. I had defeated the shadow.. and that all that mattered. And slowly as my eyes closed, I allowed myself to shed one final tear. This I thought was the end of me. Something told me my life was about to come to an end, and I was about to move from one world to the other. Maybe this battle had been my travels through purgatory and maybe I'll once more see those green meadows, those beautiful snow capped mountains and play in those clear running streams and brooks.
“Good-bye..” I said smiling softly. “Good-bye Ben, I'm going to miss you. It was so fun being your girlfriend when I had the chance. Don't mourn for me too long, find that special girl and start a family. Good-bye mom and dad, thank you for accepting me and giving me something special to hold on too. Good-bye Lily... I hope you and Robin find successes with your bakery business. I would have loved to help.. to maybe prance around in a cute maid costume.. but I guess, I guess I won't have that chance.” I felt myself choking on my own blood. I could feel it now, the last few ounces of sand pouring out of my hourglass. And with that I closed my eyes. Unsure what would happen when I opened them again.
I found myself floating. Floating through the air, floating through space, time had no meaning, there was no beginning or ending through the realm I floated through. My body felt light as a feather. Then I felt my toes touch something. I looked down and noticed I was standing on some green grass. I looked up and noticed the sky was blue. I had gone from floating from nothingness to standing on earth again. Then I noticed it. Before me a massive gate with a fence running as far as the eye could see in both directions. The bars of the gate glowed in the sun.
At first I was a tad bit confused. I've never seen a gate that massive before. And also, the whole thing seemed to be made of solid gold. Beyond the gate, I could see massive mountains with their peeks capped in snow, snow as white and pure as you could wish for and pretty as a picture. I could smell fruit too, it must have been thousands of fruit trees behind that gate.
And sitting by the gate there stood a fellow with a bit of a beard. He was dressed in an old fashion suit and was leaning over a wooden podium with an open book in front of him. He noticed me standing there, blinking. He cleared his throat and reached into his jacket. He pulled out a small leather case, opened the case and pulled out an old fashioned pair of glasses.
“Hello.” He said blinking as he looked down at his book. “Hello there Miss. Potter. You're a bit early, we were not expecting you for another seventy or eighty years. But since you're here, I suppose you could come on through if you want. Your name in the book after all.”
I blinked.
“Pardon me, but could you please tell me what going?” I said tilting my head. “I've gone through quite a lot today. First I was at school, then I was at King Daughters, and then I was one of the major hospitals. I think Mississippi Medical Center or something. Then I received last rites from an Episcopalian Priest named Percy Bell, then I went under. Then I fought a battle with a shadow.” I was aware that I was babbling but none of it made a lick of sense to me. I felt like Alice who had chased the white rabbit and had fallen down the rabbit hole and instead of arriving in wonderland, I had arrived in hell.
“That is correct. Ms. Potter. You have been through a lot. You passed through the Church Militant, Penitent and Triumphant of the church. And now you stand before the gates of heaven. You could enter through these gates, and get a new pair of wings. Or you could return to earth and live out the rest of your eighty or something remaining years you have.” He paused. “The choice is yours and yours along.”
Jamie blinked and blinked again.
“So, if I'm understanding all of this correctly. I can either go through that gate and enter into Heaven. Or I can just turn around and walk away and I'll return to Earth as if I'll wake up in maybe a hospital bed or my bed or something?” I asked as I looked over my shoulders.
“That is correct.” The man said. “I take it you've made up your mind then?” He said, raising an eyebrow.
“I think I want to return to Earth to my old life.” She said looking over her shoulder.
“Again the choice is yours. But I think you’re making the right choice. Not to spoil anything. But your life is now just getting started. It is not going to be an easy road for you. It's not going to be an easy life for you. But it's going to be a life filled with riches and rewards.” He said, winking.
“Before I go..” I said blinking. The man's words struck me and kind of threw me for a mental loop.
“My name is Peter. I'm the gatekeeper here.”
And with that everything seemed to slowly vanish and I once more felt myself floating through the air. As I floated, I started to close my eyes and before I could catch myself, I found myself drifting all to sleep. It was a peaceful sleep, and before long I felt this strange feeling. It was like I was returning to something, like I was stepping into my old room, that strange feeling of coming home. I think my soul was returning to my body.
I slowly opened my eyes and noticed bright, yellow bars of sunlight breaking through the blinds of the hospital window. I took a deep breath and closed them again and after maybe thirty seconds I opened them again. The room was dark, slowly I turned my head to the side. A small digital clock sitting on the stand next to the hospital bed told me it was one in the afternoon. Then I noticed a dozen or so cards surrounded the small clock.
Small stuffed animals and trinkets also dotted the table. All seemed to be surrounded by a small glass vase that held three blue roses, my favorite kind of rose. I blinked and turned my head to the other side of the room. A IV pole was placed next to the bed along with some machine, there seemed to be quite many machines, all beeping and making machine-like noises. I drew in another breath and forced myself to sit up a bit.
Then in the doorway I noticed a nurse, the nurse blinked and blinked again. Quickly she darted out of the doorway, at first I was a bit confused, but she returned a few minutes later. My mother, father and older sister followed closely behind the nurse. Bringing up the rear was Ben and the girl around Lily's age. All of them flooded into the room. My mother was the first to speak.
“Thank God.” My mother said as she rushed toward the railing of the bed. “We've been worried sick about you girl. You gave us a scare..” She said as she reached over the railing of the bed and pulled me close to her. “The hospital only called us once you were loaded up. You were already going under when we arrived. Jamie there was some trouble with your operation. They waited a little too late, and..” Mom was near tears.
“None of that now.” My father said appearing over her shoulders. “You're awake now, and that's all that matters.” He paused and looked down.
I then noticed something, my father looked tired, his eyes were glazed over, his face was dotted with hairs. The front of his shirt was stained with small spots of coffee. “Thank God you're awake..” He said, reaching down and stroking my chin with the back of his hand. “I was afraid I might lose you. We all were afraid.”
“She finally woke up?!” Cried Lily as she rushed to the railing. “Oh Thank you God!” She cried out as she turned toward the young woman who was standing beside her. “Robin! Thank you! Thank you so much for all those prayers. I was a little wary, at first you know, when you suggest I pray the Rosary.. never mind it worked!”
“So,” Robin said, peering down at me. “This is your little sister.” She said smiling softly.
“Yep, and I almost lost her..” Lily said showing more emotional concern for my well being and general health than she has ever shown in my brief fourteen or so years. “The whole school was so worried about you too. I mean, really worried. Even Linda.. even Linda sent me a message on Facebook asking about you.”
The last one made me pause. My first impression of Linda was one of a girl who thought herself better than the rest. One who considered herself to be queen of the school and the rest of us were nothing but worms under her feet. Worms she could crush at a minutes notice. But that was the old Linda it seemed.
But according to rumors and a friend of the families. Since Linda had been removed from her toxic household and placed in the care of the Bell's she had started to lose a bit of that toxic edge. She and Lily were even talking again. And much to my surprise she was expressing remorse. It seemed she was still troubled by the way she acted out at homecoming.
“Anyway.” Robin said, clearing her throat. “I owe you an apology Jamie. I kind of jumped around a bit.” She paused. “You're Lily's little sister, and I want our business to be a family business. Madeline's kind of my little sister so I extended an invite to her without considering Lily. That was quite wrong of me.” She paused again. “What I'm trying to say is, if you still want to, I would love to have you. Maybe you and Madeline could work together. Lily told me, you're one heck of a wiz in the kitchen. And I would love to taste some of your cooking sometimes.”
“Does that mean?” I asked. My mind was still fuzzy from the drugs being pumped into me.
“It means.” Lily said piping in. “That we'll like to have you working at the cafe with us. Both of us agreed it would be good for you”
I nodded my head.
“Anyway.” The nurse butted in. Her voice was clear and commanding a left little room for debating or maneuvering. “While I'm positive all of you are relieved that Jamie's awake and doing fine. I must remind you she is still recuperating from her operation. With that in mind she needs her rest. Visiting hours are over for now.” And with that she started to usher the crowd that had gathered around the bed.
I noticed Ben looked a little crestfallen. Quickly I lifted myself up. “Nurse!” I cried out. “Can.. My boyfriend will stay for a few more minutes.. please?” I asked. I did my best to give the nurse a puppy dog look. I had over the course of the last few months found out I could charm anybody by giving them a wounded puppy dog look with my baby blue eyes.
The nurse sighed and rolled her eyes.
“Aright five more minutes. I'll be counting, and don't try anything you two.” And with that she walked out of the room.
“I was so worried about you.” Ben was the first to speak. He quickly reached down and pulled up a chair. “When I saw you being loaded up. I felt my heart just breaking you know.” He quickly added. “Its been rough on everybody. I kind of rode with your dad over here.. and we got here like a few minutes after they put you asleep.”
I wanted to say something. But something told me it would be best just to sit and listen for a bit.
“I suppose nobody told you. But something happened on the operating table. We don't know what, but your heart just stopped beating all of a sudden. And it was horrible, we thought we were going to lose you. Heck we did lose you for twenty minutes. Then you just came back. They finished the operation and kept you hooked up to life support..” Tears were starting to form at the edge of his eyes.
“I know we've only dated for a few short weeks, but Jamie, I really love you. You mean the world to me. And if I lost you..” He paused. “I don't know what I would have done.”
“I'm better.” I said smiling and then much to my surprise he bent over and kissed me full on the lips. I saw fireworks as I felt his tongue slip into my mouth and my tongue into his. Our tongues touched and pure pleasure flooded my body. I'm not sure how long we kissed, but it seemed like forever. I doubt we would have never stopped kissing if the nurse had not returned and cleared her throat in a loud manner.
“Okay you two.” That's enough.
We quickly broke apart. A deep blush colored Ben's high cheekbones and another blush colored mine.
“I believe your party is waiting for the young man.” The nurse said peering toward Ben.
“Okay.” Ben said smiling,
“See you later Jamie.. Get better, now.” Ben said as he looked over his shoulders and gave me a wink that set my heart ablaze. The glare the nurse was giving me was enough to cool the warm blood running through my body. Kissing Ben had awoken something deep within me. Something primitive and lustful. To think I came inches from missing that feeling of pure adrenaline and desire rushing through me was mind blowing.
“Ms. Potter.” The nurse said in a scolding, condescending manner. “I would not get too carried away, we have a ghost on this floor. The ghost of a nurse who helps us nurses keep order and keep naughty teenagers in check.” She said as she turned upon her heel and walked out of the room. She turned around and looked me dead in the eye. “So I advise you to follow the rules and try to keep that tongue of yours in your mouth. Unless you want a midnight visit from our phantom friend.”
And with that one of the strangest chapters of my life came to an end.
The sun was hanging high over the township of Benton. The hours of the day were getting longer and longer with each passing day. All across Benton, both teachers and students were counting down the days till the sweet release of Summer. With bated breath, they waited for that final bell that would grant them freedom from the desk, freedom from homework and pop quiz’s and exams. Many dreamed of long, lazy summer afternoons spent playing in the grassy fields, or sitting by a cool shady spot down by the river.
And the students of Benton Academy were getting ready to wrap up another year. The whole school was silent as a mouse. It was exam time, and the pressure was starting to get to the students. One could tell as they snuffed their feet from the exam station to the next exam station. Some muttering math equations under there breath as they clutched there textbooks. Others a prayer as they held there rosaries. And still, others had nothing but blank expressions on there face.
And one of those students, who moved from class to class was a young girl with shoulder length blonde hair, pretty blue eyes and slightly develop breast. Her name was Jamie Sarah Potter, and for the first time since school started that year, she moved a ghost. Jamie was at first a boy called James until a series of strange events happen. And while it was true, that people like Jamie were often singled out to be teased or bullied, the truth of the matter was this. Most of the students now were too concerned about the approaching summer holiday and most were concerned about passing the exams. Benton Academy was a private school after all.
Jamie took a deep breath as she moved through the hallway. Since being released from the Hospital, her life had kind of gotten settled down. People no longer cared to stick their noses into her personal business. The novelty of having a transgender classmate had faded with the coming of spring. She was now pretty much a one girl island. All but a few of her fellow girls shunned her, and most of the boys save her lovely boyfriend Ben just seemed to forget she was there. Even the lunch lady failed to notice her.
Nobody really seemed to notice her at all. And she hated that. She really hated that. She felt like she needed to do something in order to get noticed. Or to end the school year on a bang. A small blush color her cheeks as she reached down and took a sip her carton of milk. The milk was warm and had the hint of sourness to it. She shivered as she felt the milk roll down her throat and splashdown.
Today’s lunch was a portion of mystery meat, a small cup of chewy white rice, stewed green beans, and dinner rolled that was harder than a stone. Jamie takes taken a bite or two of the meat before deciding it was better to just leave it along. The rice was undercooked and the roll could be used as a lethal projectile if push came to shove. But what could you expect? Certainly not a gourmet meal, not with the school about to close down and most of the kitchen staff about to draw relief wages till school resumed at the end of Summer. Nope, not by a long shot, the quality of food had peeked around Thanksgiving and had been on a steady downhill slide since.
“Okay, I know that look.” A voice said. The voice belonged to an older teen who looked just like Jamie. Only she was tanned and Jamie was white as a sheet. The teen eased her plastic tray down in front of Jamie and peered toward her. Her pale blue eyes searching every square inch of her face for some kind of clue, or hint to what her sister was thinking about. “So, what on your mind girl. Besides dates, names and math equations.”
“Nothing,” Jamie said as she picked up her plastic fork and started to play with the rice. She gave up trying to eat the stuff. Heck, even the starving children in Africa would have second thoughts about eating this stuff. Even the imitates at Parchman State Farms where feed better than the students.
“Okay, I’ve known you, like your whole life. Like even changed your diapers and feed you from a bottle. You can’t keep secrets from me. Like, I’m not fussy as mom, so, if your thinking about doing what you're thinking about doing. Just, maybe try to use some kind of lotion. KY Jelly works wonders.” The teen said. “And in your case, cause you’re a very special case you're going to need a lot of it.” She said in a sage, older sister tone of voice. She quickly added. “Because trust me, going on personal experience, the first time is really awkward and can be painful. And as always an ounce of protection is worth a pound of cure. Or like a stitch in time saves nine.”
Jamie blinked and blinked again as she felt her face starting to grow red. If her life was a popular Saturday morning anime. Her face would be glowing redder than coal in hell and white-hot steam would be shooting out of her ears. The girl sitting across from her, just giggled as she started to drink her milk. Warm it might be, it was still better than the water from the fountain.
“I mean, you two have been going together for what, like six or seven months. Since Homecoming, its time girl. You’ve kissed him, you’ve served with him at Mass, its time you get a little.”
“Lily, I’m not thinking about that..” Jamie finally said as she collected herself.
“Oh.” Lily clearly sounded disappointed. She was hoping to have one of those big sister talks with Jamie. She enjoyed watching the girl wiggle around as she laid down the facts of life. “Okay, if not banging your boyfriends on your mind, then what is? Robin agreed to hire you after she tasted one of your home-made apple pies. Everybody pretty much forgot the fact that you were once a boy. You have a wonderful boyfriend, you're making straight A’s and B’s Honesty I think you're in far better shape than most.”
Jamie sighed and started to sink down in her seat.
“It's not that,” Jamie said taking a deep breath. “I need to do something. Something that will cause people to remember me. Something that will make a name for myself.”
Lily blinked and blinked again.
“You could always volunteer for the school’s dunking booth. They need four girls, one from each year. You could be the freshman volunteer. I’m thinking about being the Junior volunteer. Heck is a cheerleader I’m almost required to go in.” Lily said as she took another sip of her milk. A few seconds later she shivered as she tasted the milk, the milk had gone bad. A frown crossed Lily face as she closed the lid of her milk and tossed it into a nearby trashcan.
“No thank you, getting gunged twice this year been enough for me,” Jamie said sighing. “Plus, I think there a fetish for that kind of stuff. And if it is, It's not one I really like!” Jamie said blushing as she peered toward her big sister.
Lily blinked and blinked again as she pushed her tray away from her. She then peered toward her little sister, a look of confusion and concern crossed her face. Sighing she placed her hands over her face and shook her head. Through her fingers, she muttered something as she tried to collect her thoughts. She had no idea how to respond to that.
“Okay, first off. We’ll talk about that later. Second, despite my teasing, I think your really too young to think about things like. I mean, listen I’m not going to knock what you like. Cause, like I still like Barbie and I still kind of collect American Girl dolls. But, it's hard you know. Cause one on the side, I have my ‘Unicorn Warrior Princess’ loving little sister. Who I love and cherish above all else. And well on the other side, I know what she going through some really big changes. An emotional rollercoaster, and despite what mom and dad wish to believe. Where both kind of testing the water if you will.”
Jamie sighed and shook her head.
“Lily, stop for a minute... I’m not thinking about sex at all okay? Ben and I are taking things slow okay... What I’m thinking about is pulling some kind of prank you know. Its like tradition you know, for students to pull pranks on each other and the school toward the end of the year. Heck, I remember last year somebody even hacked the school’s website and made it seem like school was canceled for the day. Everybody got a free day!” Jamie paused, “That like the stuff of legends right there.”
Lily nodded her head.
“So, what your plan?” She asked.
Before Jamie could answer, the school bell rung, signaling the end of the lunch period. Both girls stood up, Jamie followed by Lily, the two then carried their foam trays over to the nearby trash cans. The two girls then tossed the foam trays into the trashcan and started to walk away.
“Hey, Sis. Real talk now. Don’t do anything dumb okay. Like our new headmaster or mistress is really cracking down. Like, you know she meant business when her first order of business was to purge the school of all those old fossils. Like Mr. Henderson and a few others. And so far she has been on your side. Just keep your head low okay and if you gotta do something. Try not to get caught.”
Jamie blinked and blinked again.
“Oh trust me, I have a plan.” Jamie said shifting her eyes, “I always have a plan.”
Lily sighed and shook her head as she returned to class. Sometimes, she had to wonder about her little sister.
***
Jamie took a deep breath as she peered toward the rising moon. Full darkness had fallen, the three-stories, brick building stood silent as the grave as the full, silver moon hung beside it. In front of the two main doors in the middle, there could be seen a large, concrete fountain that was filled with clear water. The sound of water splashing over the side of the concrete walls and onto the paving stones sounded almost like a melody.
Jamie, despite the heat of the early summer night, was dressed from head to toe in black. Form-fitting black jeans, black socks, and black shoes, black gloves and finally topping it off a black ski mask. And in her hand a large sack. She felt something like a thief, no in her mind was a ninja princess deep. And she was on a top, secret mission... A mission deep behind enemy lines. And so creeping up to the fountain, she took a deep a deep breath. Crossing herself she reached into her bag and one by one she pulled plastic models of fish, very realistic looking models. The models had waited for bottoms, so they stood up on their own power when placed down. Carefully, Jamie climbed into the fountain and placed the fish around the concrete bottom. She wanted to give the appearance that the high-quality plastic models where swimming on their own power.
As she worked, she dropped something. A piece of plastic around the size of your average credit card dropped from her pocket and floated down into the fountain. Written on index card piece of plastic was the following “Benton Academy Student ID” The letters where all capital and written in red ink. Followed by “Jamie Sarah Potter” below the name was a photo of Jamie wearing a nice floral print dress. Her golden blonde hair styled curls and waves. As the piece of plastic settled on the concrete bottom of the fountain. Jamie finished her work and started to climb over the edge.
“Perfect.” She said as she peered at the dozen or so models of largemouth bass floating around the fountain. “Jamie girl, I think you’ve made school history!” And so patting herself on the back, she slipped away and vanished into the night.
The following morning an hour or so before school was due to open. Two women, both wearing skirted business suits stood around the fountain. Both wore slightly amused looks on their faces as they peered toward the plastic fish that floated around the bottom of the fountain. The first one to speak was the tallest one she wore her strawberry blonde hair in a high bun.
“Really, plastic fish in the school’s fountain. I’ve seen it all know.” She said, shaking her head.
“Yep. Plastic fish. And they belong to this one.” She looked down and read the name on the small plastic card she held in her hand. “Jamie Sarah Potter.” She said as she handed the card to the women with strawberry blonde hair.
The women peered toward the picture of the card before she slipped the card into the breast pocket of her coat. She then turned toward the other women and in a very casual tone of voice said.
“Jamie Sarah Potter. Correct me if I’m wrong, but is she the special girl. The one that played the hostage in this year's homecoming. The one that had to rush from school to King’s Daughters and from there to Jackson. The one that for a few months caused quite a stir in school.” She said smiling as she folded her hands behind her back.
“That her alright. Use to be a boy, then during homecoming, a switch somehow got flipped. Our former science teacher. Mr. Henderson kind of flipped out on her. The former headmaster tried to shut her down, it was a mess. That whole meeting was a mess. Finally ended with one of the girls knocking her out. She was a big country girl too, knocked her down.” The other woman said.
“I see, still rules are rules. Once the morning role is taken. Have Ms. Potter come see me in the office. She and I need to have a little talk, women to women.” And with that, she turned around and started to walk toward the school. She got halfway down the stone paved walkway when she paused and turned around and said. “And leave the fish too. Ms. Potter can collect her toys at the end of the day.”
***
The cafeteria of Benton Academy was filled with the morning rush of people. The normal morning fare of watery grits, stale cheese toast, greasy sausage patties, warm milk, and soggy cereal was being choked down by students who were glad to get something to eat before the final round of exams where to start in a half hour. Sitting by herself was in a far corner of the room. Far away from the hustle and bustle of the center was Jamie Sarah Potter. Jamie had chosen a bowl of Fruity Loops this morning. The rings of color cereal tasted a little better than the sauce patties that slid off the foam plates and the watery grits that soaked through the cheap plastic bowls.
“So, did you hear about it?” Another girl sitting to her left said. “Like somebody totally snuck into school last night and like placed some kind of fish models in the school fountain. Kind of a dumb prank really, I mean really, plastic fish. They could have at least tried to fork the common or something.” She said as she settled down to her morning meal.
“I guess, maybe it was one of the eighth graders. Some kid trying to be cool and hip and get a name. I bet he’s bragging to his friends right now.” Another girl said as she took a sip of her milk. “Like, I bet he expects to get a reward or something for the most original prank.”
“Like the only reward he’s going to get is a trip over the headmaster's desk. You know, people Mrs. Cartwright is really big on the whole ‘Whoever spares the rod hate their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.’ and ‘It takes a whole village to rear a child.’ or some kind like that.” Another girl said pushing her plastic bowl of sugary cereal away from her and tossed the plastic spoon down upon the table.
“Shit, no amount of sugar in the world could make this stuff taste good.” She said as she placed her head down upon the table and sighed. “One more day of this. Then its the weekend and next week they're going to be throwing that stupid Summer Carnival, God even that would be better than another day of this.”
Then over the intercom system a voice belonging to young women. The voice was polite and formal. And had something of a Canton twang to it. Hitting that the women came from the new upper-middle class that was forming in the townships of Canton, Ridgeland, and Madison, and Terry, those four were the fastest growing townships in Mississippi.
“Would Jamie Sarah Potter, please report to the headmaster's office. Would Jamie Sarah Potter, please report to the headmaster's office.” The voice echoed up and down the hallway.
Jamie blinks and blinked again as the whole room turned around and peered toward her. A loud rumble ran through the gathered crowds. For a minute, Jamie stood there stunned into silence. She could feel her cheeks started to burn with color as she noticed that everybody’s attention seemed to focus in on her. She reached down and started to adjust her skirt and blouse as she collected herself. Once she felt collected, she started to move toward the door.
“I bet they're going to give her a reward for stellar grades.” One student said as she passed by. Another student answered in turn by saying. “Right, she has been on the honor roll all freaking year. Totally a Ms. Smarty pants.”
“Maybe they're finally going to kick the freak out.” Another voice said. “Dude, remember she was like a boy before. Like, remember that nerd James, the blonde hair freak that use to hang around fishers. I heard, somebody raped him and he decided to become like a girl. Just another freak in the freak kingdom if you ask me.”
Another student answered that with.
“Dude, I remember that. Like I thought that rumor of the boy being the hostage at this years homecoming was just like a rumor. You know something people made up. But it totally makes sense now. No wonder there was that big fight a few weeks later.”
“Man, you must be slow or something! That was no rumor. Remember Mr. Henderson balled that bitch out in front of the whole class. That before he flipped his collective shit and started railing off. Then that nut job down at the Episcopal church support the transformation. Rev. Brown. And then they promoted the dude and we got another nut down there named Rev. Bell. Dude is all his rocker too, he comes from some rich delta, planter family down Vicksburg way.”
“Man,” The other boy said, shaking his head. “Dad was right, this whole town is going to shits man. I’m glad this is my last year in this place. This place used to be a pretty good place. Like, Mr. Henderson understood the struggle of us football players. Like no home-work for us on game night, allowed us to skip class for extra practice and the dude was cool. The old headmaster always saw we got our respect.”
“Right, this whole school going to shit. The new science teacher from up north. She one of those damn New England Liberals. Like I tried to explain, how things work down here to her. Cause you know, we gotta a system in place. She totally flipped out and flew off the handle. Like wrote me up and shit. The coach was pissed like a bulldog. Flipped out on me and me.”
Everybody at the table had stopped there chewing and were now hanging on every word of the story being told to them. Even though everybody knew the outcome, nobody got tired of hearing it rehashed. For the jocks, what had followed had been a soul-crushing defeat. The start of the removal of the privileges they had enjoyed since the school was started. For others, it was the first bright rays of hope.
“And that women, just stood there, sitting behind her desk at and at first I thought coach done pulled a rabbit out of his hat because she was all nodding her head. So I’m standing there on the sidelines cheering him on, cause he going all big brass balls. Telling how many times he’s brought home the championship ring and how to like how I was his best player and the hope we had if we were ever going to beat them Yazoo bastards in the next game. And she nodding her head like she really doing some thinking. And I’m sure she going to cancel my detention and then she going to haul that New England liberal into her office and tear her a new asshole cause, you know she might be from Canton but she still one of us. And then once the coach is done, she stands up and says she stands behind the teacher and says the detention stands. Next day, the coach is gone something about him having some kind of anger issue or something.” The boy shakes her head. “I’m telling you, man, this school is going down the drain faster than shit at Taco Bell.”
Jamie just stood there. She had been enthralled with the tale. It was clear to reminder to her that there were still elements of the school that hated her. The football coach, Mr. Butters, had been one of those silent few who had on the low tried to get her removed from school on the low. Unlike the direct tactics of Mr. Henderson and former headmaster, who attacked her directly he had employed a low handed ploy. The bastard had chosen to instead of going after her and her sister directly to vent his ire on her boyfriend Ben. She had later learned from Ben’s big sister Joan that after his little display of passion at the hospital last year, he had tried to force him to quit, by making him run laps after laps around the football field because had chosen to skip practice to be with her. The rumor was he had to run upward to four hundred laps. Over a period of several days.
Again the voice over the intercom system called out.
“Would Jamie Sarah Potter, please come to the headmaster's office. Would Jamie Sarah Potter, please come to the headmaster's office.” It seemed the women had deemed the seven or so minutes that had passed more than enough time for Jamie to report to the office and had deemed it fit to call her again. The two boys who had been talking among themselves paused and peered toward Jamie. The look that gave her, suggested the two were peering toward an old hound dog that had just walked in.
“What you looking at? You tranny freak. Go on, go the headmaster and grit you reward or something. You the reason everything going the way it is. Thought something good had finally come our way when they hauled you off in the sick folk's wagon. Seeing you all ranting and raving about some kind of shadow being, really made us think you finally snapped.”
“Thought they finally took you to the crazy farm. Any boy going around calling himself a girl needs to be given a vacation down there in South Jackson where they keep them loons and cartoons and them kind of folk. Fit them with one of the special kinds of jackets, you know the ones with the straps, brass buckles, and the straps.” The other boy chimed in.
Jamie took a deep breath and started to count backward starting at twenty and working her way down. As soon as she reached sixteen though, she felt somebody tapping her on the shoulder. Standing beside her was a teacher. She nodded toward the door and in a firm, commanding tone of voice she said.
“Okay, Jamie go see the headmaster.” She then shifted her eyes toward the two boys. “You two gentleman. Please see me once the bell rings. I’ve been listening to the whole exchange. And I’m sure the headmaster will enjoy hearing it too.” The women then turned toward Jamie.
“Ms. Potter, I think it will be wise if you go see the headmaster. I don’t think she’ll call again. Next time she might come looking for you. And if that is the case, then you’ll be in a world of trouble.”
Jamie still blushing only nodded her head and started toward the door.
Ten minutes later, Jamie reached the main office. The lobby was filled with the tapping of fingers on keyboards as the two office secretaries, the sinews of the school attacked there daily mounds of paperwork and filled out forms and filed forms. Jamie stood behind the desk for a solid minute before one of the ladies looked up from her work and motioned for her to step behind the desk.
“Ms. Potter, Mrs. Cartwright is waiting for you.” She said in a commanding tone of voice. “You’re seven minutes late. The headmistress does not like to be kept waiting. She a very busy woman. You understand that, am I correct?” The women said in a scolding tone of voice.
“Yes, ma’am,” Jamie said as she bowed her head, her cheeks flushing with color. “Sorry about that, had a little trouble in the breakfast line.”
The women-only nodded her head. “We’ll best not keep her waiting any longer. She has some serious business to cover with you. Some very serious.” The women made a point in placing a lot of weight on the word ‘Serious’ and that made Jamie’s blood turn to freezing water in her veins.
Jamie nodded her head and took a deep breath and started to slowly walk down the hallway. The sound of her feet hitting the tile floor echoed off the walls. She was deep in the bowels of the monster now. With each step she took, she could feel her heart started to race a little more. Her breathing became harder as she passed the former headmasters office, now the GC (Guidance Counselors) Office. That had been the first order of business, hiring a Guidance Counselor for the school. A first in the school’s history.
Once the passed that door, she then passed the small room that had once been a storeroom but now housed a small clinic. Another change that had been the hiring of a full-time school nurse. Though Jamie had never been in the room, she pretty much knew what was there, going on the varies reports others had told her. The room was nothing more than a wooden desk, a wooden dresser and an old bed. The sheets on the bed reeked of mothballs. The wooden desk was the nurse work station, the wooden dresser doubled as a supply closet and also had a change of clothing if a student needed a spare skirt or pair of trousers or stockings. And the bed was for those who needed to rest.
The next room on the tour was a room filled with records and banned books. And across from that was the new conference room. And finally, at the end of this very long hallway, there could be seen the headmistress office. As Jamie slowly put one foot in front of the other, She a sense of doom wash over her. She felt like a condemned woman walking the green mile. The only thing missing was a guard to her left and to her right a sad padre, dressed in full vestments, holding in his hands a leather bound Bible and a set of Rosary beads.
A small smirk crossed her face as the morbid thought that behind the wooden door stood either an old eclectic chair or the gallows. She shook her head and pushed those thoughts to the side as she wrapped her sweaty hands around the brass handle and pushed in. The door swung open and in she stepped. The sight that greeted her was the headmistress sitting behind the desk. On the desk was a wooden paddle, beside the paddle the bag of plastic fish she had filled the fountain with the night before and beside the bag her school I.D
“So good for you to finally join me, Ms. Potter.” The women in a commanding tone of voice. “Please remain standing. That would speed things up. We’re already seven minutes late. So where pushed for time. And since were pushed for time, I’ll try not to beat around the bush here. For one trespassing onto school grounds is a crime, Ms. Potter.”
Jamie blinked and blinked again. Her hands reached down and covered her bottom.
“Even if it was just to plant some plastic fish in the school fountain. And it was you, we found your school ID floating around the bottom this morning. The smoking gun if you will.” The women stood up and walked over to the front of the desk and picked up the paddle. “Now, I have one question. Why?” She cradled the paddle in front of her and fixed Jamie with a level look.
Jamie took a deep breath and closed her eyes and she racked her brain for an answer. Though the harder she racked her brain the more muddled her thoughts became. Finally taking a deep breath she said.
“It was a prank ma’am. Meant no harm in it” The minute the words left her mouth was the minute she wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole. She had fallen into the over the top, fake Irish accent she had been working on. “I swear to God I do.” Might as well roll with it now.
The headmistress raised an eyebrow.
“Please, Sister Katherine, have a little bit of mercy on me. I been a good girl at heart. I attend Mass, go to confession, I’ll to Father McDonald Right now and confess my crimes, if only you show some mercy to me. No need to tan me hide.” Jamie brought her hands together and got down on her knees. “I beg of you. Please, never have I been strapped before.”
Mrs. Cartwright held up her hand to silence Jamie. She then looked at the girl straight in the eyes and in a cool as ice tone of voice she told her.
“First, stop with the accent. That has to be the worst fake Irish accent I’ve ever heard. And yes it was some kind of prank, in the grand scheme of things, it was nothing. We fished out the fish before the students arrived for class. And no long-lasting harm was done to the fountain. No fish were harmed in the making of this prank would be the tag line if this was some kind of Disney Wildlife film.”
Jamie nodded her head and tried not to smirk at the last bit of playful humor.
“But you did trespass on school grounds after hours. So, keeping that in mind, I’m going to paddle you, Now before you say I’m being mean, overreacting or whatever you wish. I did a little digging before deciding on this.” She reached into the drawer and pulled out an official looking form. “Every year, at the start of the school year. We at Benton Academy send out forums for the legal guardians of the student to sign. That form is a waiver, granting us, the faultily at Benton Academy the right and the privilege to use as they deem fit corporal punishment.”
The tone of her voice was firm and respectful and offered no room for rebuke. In fact, she was holding the forum out for Jamie to read. Jamie swallowed hard and reached out and took the forum, she felt like she was holding a copper-head or rattlesnake or another species of deadly, venomous snake. She shifted her eyes down at the paper and felt her cheeks flush color before being drained of color. The name on the top read. Jamie Sarah Potter instead of her former name James Christopher Potter. The sex too had been changed from Male to Female and the date had also been updated. This was clearly a new, updated form. One that reflected the changes that had taken place since the start of the school year. A wry smile formed upon Jamie’s lips, she been batting with the idea of using her change in gender a possible loophole. A ‘But that formed retained only to James Christopher Potter, I’m Jamie Sarah Potter.’ Defense. Ad hoc as it might be, she was sure it would have at least brought her at least a day or so. If anything it would have thrown a wrench into cogs maybe even brake a few wheels.
Sighing with defeat. Jamie handed the piece of paper back to Mrs. Cartwright, who returned it to the folder. She turned toward Jamie and cradled the wooden paddle in her hand as she closed the door and smiled. “Okay, Stand up, bend over, graph your ankles and take a deep breath.” She said tucking the paddle under her arm as she stole a glance from the clock hanging on the wall. “We're already behind and this is taking longer than expected.” She said with a sigh.
Jamie blushed and did as she was told. Once she was bent over, Mrs. Cartwright flipped her skirt, and rolled her panties down and placed the smooth surface of the paddle on her bottom. She pressed in before drawing the paddle back, she allowed the paddle to hover for a few seconds before she brought it down with a loud crack!
Jamie blinked as she felt a sudden wave of sting cracking into her bottom. The flat paddle flattens her round bottom cheeks as the wooden surface was driven hard into her bottom. A second later, another wave of sting came crashing into her bottom, followed by a third and a fourth. After the fourth one, Jamie felt her knees start to quiver and her strength started to fail her.
“Trespassing is a crime.” Mrs. Cartwright scolded. “You should be counting yourself lucky that a tiny spanking is all your getting.” She said cracking her bottom again, and again. She had fallen into a steady rhythm of cracking the bottom. Pausing to allow the wave of sting to wash over Jamie, then she’ll draw the paddle back and crack again. “The old headmaster would have jumped at the chance to press trespassing charges on you. You get a free ride in a police car too, and a nice haircut out of the deal. The barber down in Yazoo would have had a field day searing off those golden tresses of hair. Before throwing you into a jail cell with a group of boys that will pass you around like the towns slut.”
Jamie’s eyes became wide as saucer plates as Mrs. Cartwright warned of her fate. Salty tears were starting to sting her eyes and were already rolling down her cheeks and spilling onto the floor in front of her. The warning made her shiver with fear and dread, as she pictured herself dressed in one of the orange jumpsuits offenders worn, her long locks of golden hair shorn off and a big guard wearing a blue uniform throwing her into a tiny room with a dozen, horny teenage boys. She was already starting to develop breast, tiny ones, but breast none the same. She was sure the imitates would have a field day with a half-boy half-girl.
Mrs. Cartwright delivered four more stinging cracks of the wooden paddle before setting it down on the desk. She then stepped back and peered toward the bottom that was throbbing red. It kind of reminded her of a cherry. The woman folded her hands across her chest and sighed.
“Okay go stand in the corner for five minutes. I think that will do, but before you go I have one question for you. Like I try to know a little about all the students. And like, I noticed that your kind of one of the best fisherwomen in town. Like you're even thinking about entering the ‘Fishing Rodeo’, I saw the form in your file. So why did you settle on like fake plastic fish when you could have fished out like some really big catfish. With the water rising, I’m sure the fish are biting.”
Jamie blushed and peered down and in a soft voice said.
“It was kind of a last minute thing. Plus, those plastic fish have been sitting in the storeroom for like ages. Dad ordered them for somebody from some sports catalog, it's gone out of print now, that tells you how old they are. So brought them. Mom gave me a big discount too cause family and stuff.”
The women nodded her head and then walked over and pulled Jamie into a hug. She folded the sniffling, sore-bottomed girl close to her chest and smiled as she held her there. Slowly she started to stroke her blonde hair and in a gentle tone of voice, she whispered.
“One more thing. You gotta keep the pranks on a low. There a group of people here in Benton working to help people like you, and there is also a group of people who don’t want you here. So when you pull little pranks like that, your kind of adding more fuel to the fire, you get what I’m saying. Because you're different from everybody else, everything you do, good or bad would be noticed. And a small prank like this, though harmless and if done by a normal student would be overlooked totally, because of your special status, the bad people would jump at a chance to twist it around. People like that love to make a mountain out of a molehill. So just be careful from now on.”
The End.
Today was Monday, and that meant it was seven days till the annual 'Summer Carnival' a school-wide celebration that would mark the end of the school year. The dark, stormy days of exam's had passed. I was feeling pretty good about my chances of passing. The week of exams had been like passing through the seven rings of hell. Despite having endured the riggers of exams, and to be honest that had pushed me to my limits. But, somehow I had survived the whole ordeal.
Anyway returning to the story. Despite school being almost over, we were still required to attend the last seven days, the departing seniors were there, most of them where lording over us underclassman who by tradition were required to wait hand and foot on them, in return for our services, they would reward us with some trinket or something. I'm not sure, it's just one of those weird school's traditions. Thankfully, given my “Special Statues” as the school's only transgender student, I had been allowed to opt out of that little bit of Benton Academy tradition. Playing the school's hostage had been more than enough for me.
Anyway, it early in the afternoon. The morning had been spent with the whole school attending a reward ceremony. In the ceremony varies student organizations had handed out plagues to varies students in recognition for achievements in either varsity sports or for academic excellence.
I myself had been reward the 'School Spirit' reward for having played this years hostage in the two thousand and eighteen homecoming football game. Much to my embarrassment they played several clips from that game, including the one where I, dressed in a vintage cheerleader was marched into the gunge tank.
Beside 'School Spirit' I had also been awarded a plaque for 'Academic Excellence'. And finally a medal for 'Good behavior' the last one made me grin, since it seems they did not count my little prank with putting the fish in the school fountain had been counted. Anyway it was early afternoon and for once, we had been given a decent meal. All around me, I could see paper plates that were piled high with golden, crinkle cut french fries and fillets of seasoned, breaded catfish fillets.
Pitchers of sweet tea, the house wine and the beverage of choice where sitting at every table.It was a meal that was fit for the gods. A true bone-a-filed southern comfort meal. I was about to go for seconds, when the intercom crackled to life. And over the wire the voice of the headmistress came crackling through. What can I say, the intercom system of Benton Academy was as old as the hills. The voice often faded in and out and at times it there was so much static in the line that the announcements seemed like short, choppy statements instead of flowing sentences.
“Good afternoon students of Benton Academy.” A pause followed by the buzzing and humming of crossed wires. “And members of the staff.” Another pause followed by a low muttering and grunting. All eyes where now hyper focused on the small brown sound box.
“Congratulations to those who received rewards..” Another pause followed by another low muttering and grunting noises followed by more static and discounting noise. “We also need one more volunteer for the dunking booth attraction for upcoming school wide celebration. If you'd like to volunteer please come by the headmasters office after school and pick up a permission form.” And with that, the announcement came to an end.
“Man,” A girl to the left of me said. “You think they would have fixed that by now.” She said as she shifted her gaze from the brown box toward me. “Like the whole school is falling apart. Girl, I even heard there mold growing in the boys bathroom. And there that real strong chemical smell that haunts the 'Natural Science' classroom too.”
I nodded my head. Now I'd been attending Benton Academy for all my life, and in that time, I'd seen the school slowly fall apart. The school was well over fifty years. Okay time for a minor history lesson, back in nineteen seventy Benton along with Yazoo City where undergoing a transformation. Benton Agricultural High School along with Yazoo City High School where pressured from the federal government where undergoing integration. As a result, hundreds of white families fled from the public school system and formed private academies. This is how Manchester and Benton Academy came into being. That was fifty years. A lot has changed since then. I'm not going to list the changes here, as there are too many to list, but things have gotten better. But Benton Academy operates on a string budget, after all, the school is starting to fall apart bit by bit. Good thing I only have around three or so years left in this place till I could claim my diploma and put this school behind me.
“Right.” I said to the girl. “Maybe its on the list of things to fix over the summer holiday. You know, there doing a lot fixer-up projects around the school.”
“I wish, like they really need to do something about the food too! The only time we get anything good is the week of Homecoming and maybe the last week of school.”
I could only silently agree with her. But I had other things on my mind. It seemed I'll be paying the headmistress a visit this afternoon. I made a quick mental note to do just that. As soon as I made my mental note, the bell rung, heralding the end of lunch and a return to class. And so the day dragged on by, with only one week remaining and exams finished, most of the teachers had culled there lesson plans. We were quite free to either sleep, read or find our own way to pass the time. We were not allowed however to play with our phones and use the school's Wi-Fi to check facebook or other social media websites from our phones.. then again, we've never been allowed too.
I myself spent the other three or so remaining hours of the school day to catch up on my beauty sleep. There nothing more refreshing than sleeping with your head down upon a wooden school desk that has had dozens or so names carved into its wooden surface. One of those names happen to be my father, and oddly enough under his, sister had also carved her name. I pondered carving my own name under Father's who had transferred to Manchester in his junior year, but had logged two years here. My aunt, had also seen it fit to curve her name under her older brothers name. Lily, my older sister had also seen it fit to add her name under our aunts name. After a minute of pondering, I decided to forgo this odd family tradition, I had already gotten my tail whipped for putting plastic fish in the school's fountain.
And adding a 'Defacing School's Property' was not something I was keen on. How the other three had managed to do it, I'm not really sure. But I myself was not about to take that chance. Anyway, the rest of the day passed slowly and soon enough we were free. Instead of joining the mass exodus of students rushing toward home or downtown to the malt shops, I instead stayed behind and slowly made my way toward the main office. Once there I told the woman behind the desk, I needed to see the headmistress.
She remembered me well enough, after all, it's hard not to forget somebody who came in first because of some gender issues that “Threaten” the morality of the school, followed another episode of “General Hospital: Teenage Edition” okay maybe I'm being a bit silly on that one. And finally a third time for having pulled, and I'm quoting my older sister her when I say this, “The lamest prank in school history.” that ended up with me getting my very first paddling at school.
Anyway, since she packing up and heading for the front door she waved me through without giving me a second look. Once she waved me through, I started to make my way down the hallway and soon I reached the headmasters office. I was just about to knock on the door, when the door opened and there in the doorway stood Mrs. Cartwright, our eyes met and for a passing second there was a moment of tension.
“Oh..” She said blushing as she tried to gather her wits, no doubt my sudden appearance had thrown a wrench into her planes of an early escape. “Jamie, behaving yourself I trust? Haven't pulled any more pranks again have you?” She said smirking a little as she eased her purse down upon the ground and folded her arms across her chest and leaned against the frame of the door.
“No, I kind of need to talk to you about something.” I said pushing past the fact that I knew I was blushing up a storm. “That is, are you still looking for somebody to volunteer for the ducking booth.” I quickly asked before my courage had a chance to fail me. At this, Mrs. Cartwright raised her eyebrows and gave me a good firm level look. “Yes, we still need a freshman volunteer. Why, do you know somebody? Or maybe, you'll like to volunteer yourself?”
“I would like to volunteer.” I said taking a deep breath. “That's why I'm here, I was wondering if you could give me a permission form to fill out.”
Mrs. Cartwright blinked and blinked again as she stepped aside and motioned for me to enter into her office. “Sure, I can do that, but first, I think we need to have a little talk.” She paused and then added as if it were an afterthought. “Women to women.”
I nodded my head and walked into the office. Mrs. Cartwright closed the door behind me, she then walked around her, she then eased herself down into her chair and motioned for me to take the offered seat. Nodding my head, I took a seat I was mindful to smooth out my skirt and to sit with my back straight up and to keep my hands folded in my lap. Once I was seated, I reached up and brushed a loose strain of my hair back behind my ear. Mrs. Cartwright who had been watching me like a hawk the whole time nodded her approval.
“I guess, You can teach demure to a boy.” She with a smirk. “Your full of surprises Ms. Potter. When I first took this job, I was informed that one of the students was special in a way.” She said as she reached into her desk and pulled out the permission slip and slipped it toward me. “
“Don't get me wrong, I'm glad we have,” She paused and leaned back in her chair. “A Transgender student here, I mean I'm all for it. It variety is the spice of life after all, or so the old saying goes. I'm just concerned.” She shifted her eyes toward my chest. “Like, when I first saw you, I thought you were just a really flat girl. I mean a late bloomer. I mean this year you've jumped from what a training bra to an A cub or something.” She said shrugging her shoulders.
“B” I said in a flat tone of voice. “I wear a B cub when it comes to bras.” I said reaching over and taking the form into my hand, quickly I folded it up and slipped it into my bag.
“Impressive. Anyway, about that area.” She said pointing down. “How that coming? I mean do you still have you know..” She started to blush.
“A Penis?” I said again in a flat tone of voice.
“Yes...” She said blushing.
“That goes bye-bye this summer.” I said rolling my eyes. “Beside that, I sit to pee and poop. I mean, I do use the staff's bathroom to do my business and change into my P.E kit. Somehow you guys are okay with me taking P.E with the rest of the girls, and boy do I pay for it. Everybody else had to run a mile to pass the final, I had to run three miles.” I said sighing.
“Okay, Okay,” She said still blushing. “I just needed to know the cause, like your going to be wearing a swimsuit for the dunking booth. So, maybe choose something that will keep that area smooth and flat.” She said looking down at her desk. “Also, I heard you had a boyfriend, does he know as well and have you done, you know what boys and girls do.”
I blinked and blinked again. Slowly I started to count backwards starting at twenty and when I reached six, I had the perfect response ready, one I'm quite sure will rattle her chains. Smirking a little, I reached up and started to twirl a loose strand of my hair around my finger. “Oh yes, he knows. And yes, we've kissed before. Kind of waiting for some good along time with him. Going to blindfold him, and chain him to the bed and ride that meat rocket all the way to mars.”
You should have seen how her face twisted as all the color started to drain from it. She swallowed hard and her eyes started to widen as she tried to process my latest statement. Sensing the ball was once more back in my court, I decided to press the advantage. We country girls can be quite frank when we need too.
“Like, I've been teasing him on and off. Might as well give him a piece of this pie.” I said with a wink, I then stood up and twirled around and made for the door. As I reached down and wrapped my fingers around the doorknob I looked over my shoulder and winked and giggled. “But keep that between us girls, I want to surprise him.”
I chuckled to myself as I left the room. Leaving a stunned and speechless headmistress in my wake.
It was well into the afternoon when I finally reached creole-style cottage that I called home. I quickly climbed the wooden steps that lead onto the wrap around front porch and then taking a deep breath entered into the living room. The air inside was scented with the smell of roasting meat and vegetables. I guessed tonight corned beef, and cabbage was on the menu, judging from the heavy, savory, beefy smell that perfumed the air.
“Jamie.” My mother called from the kitchen. “Is that you dear?”
“Yes ma'am.” I called out as I eased my backpack down. My mother then appeared in the doorway that connected the living room with the kitchen. She offered me a small smile as she started to move toward me in a friendly manner.
“There freshly baked cookies and milk in the kitchen to wash your hands first though.” She then smiled as her eyes traveled up and down, it felt like she was measuring me or judging me. Finally after a short pause she smiled and said in a tone of voice that seemed to drip with motherly concern she added. “And then we can talk, something tells me, that we need to have a little mother to daughter talk.”
I blinked and blinked again as I dropped my backpack down upon the wooden floorboards and peered toward my mother. Rolling the mental dice, I reached down, unzipped my backpack and pulled out the permission slip. Taking a deep breath, I held out the slip toward my mother who reached and took it. Once the forum was in her hands she lowered her head and gave it a once over.
“So, you're wanting to volunteer for the dunking booth?” She reached down and pulled a pen from the front pocket of the pink apron she was wearing. She often wears an apron when knocking around the kitchen. And a number of objects always seems to be housed in deep pockets that are sewn into them. Anything from fountain ink pen to a fever thermometer. Pen in hand, she placed the form down upon the arm of the sofa. She then scratched her name on one of the spaces. Once that was done, she handed the paper back to me.
“I guess.” She said smiling. “We need to find you a swimsuit.” she paused. “We might have some swimsuits down in the store. And you do have some credit built up. Tell you what, while your washing up, I'll go upstairs and fetch one of the catalog's. Then over your snack we can flip through the pages and see if anything strikes your fancy. Once we find something that suits your fancy, I'll write down the order number and see if I can't get it for you.”
“Thank you mommy.” I said smiling softly as I made my way to the down stairs bathroom. Okay before I go on, I should tell you guys something. My folks own and operate a small general store in town that has been in our family for several generations called “Potter's Mercantile”. And we'll since it's a family owned business, my sister and I were both expected to pitch in and help from time to time. Now, my older sister, Lily was often allowed to slack because we'll she had her own small business to tend to, a pastry shop of some kind where all the employee's wore Japanese inspired maid costumes. Of course, with me being her younger sister, I too was expected to help out too.
But there was a difference in the two, when I worked for Lily at her pastry shop, I was paid a straight hourly wage. Something along the lines of four dollars and twenty five cents. At the end of each shift, my time would add up and either Lily or Robin would pay me straight from the cash register. But when I worked for mom and dad down at the store, I was paid “By the Piece” meaning I'll be paid for each case of stock I'll work out. When I first started, dad set the rate at twenty cents a case. That was four years ago, as time went on, and I grew older he increased the rate from twenty cents to twenty five cents, then to thirty cents to finally I was making a whooping forty cents a box. And no, I was not paid in case, but
“Credit” that could only be used in the store. And since I never really brought from the store, and mostly saved my “Credits” I was rocking a good two or three hundred dollars on the balance sheets down there.
This musing carried me through the mindless task of washing my hands, drying my hands, brushing my hair and we'll getting tidied up before I sat down for my late afternoon snack. As I placed my brush down upon the counter top, I happen to peer into the bathroom mirror one more time. And the reflection that looked back at me, struck me. Now, I had been living as Jamie for a seven months or eight months. And I kind of eased into the roll, I took to being Jamie as a duck takes to water. And to honest, I'd forgotten for a time I had ever been born a boy.
Shortly after coming out as Jamie, my older sister Lily, my mom and even my dad had simply packed up my boy clothes and donated them to the local charity shop. Dad just seemed to roll with it, the fact his son was now his daughter never even phased him. He just accepted it and rolled along with whatever Mom and Lily wanted. Dad was gentle like that, he never raised his hand in anger and was slow to anger. But when he raised his voice, his voice boomed out like thunder. But yes, dad had accepted it.
And if dad had accepted it, mom embraced it. With gusto she threw herself into correcting thirteen years of learned bad behavior. Day after day, starting in the morning and lasting well into the night, she drilled the fundamentals of proper etiquette into me. Not only did she teach me proper table-manners and how to conduct myself in polite southern society, but she taught me how to properly apply make-up, how to properly brush my hair and how to properly apply make-up. Things that most girls have fourteen or so years to learn, I had only a scant few weeks to learn. Most would break under such training, but I seemed to thrive.
Lily helped too. Before my transformation to Jamie, my online presents was limited to a few backwater role playing boards. Where, oddly enough I mostly played as a girl. I shunned social media and avoided it like the plague. Lily being the social butterfly she is, changed that. Under her tutelage, I created my first Facebook Page using my new name of 'Jamie Sarah Potter'. A Twitter account soon followed, followed shortly by an Youtube Account to upload videos.
All of these thoughts swirled through my head as I peered into the mirror once more. Slowly a smile formed upon my face as I lifted my hand and placed it upon the cool glass surface of the mirror. The image returned my smile.
“This summer.” I said softly and mostly to myself. “Is going to our best summer yet. Where going to tour the mall, explore the state, attend anime conventions, and live life the the max.” I said nodding my head.
Madeline, a fellow transgender girl who was also happen to be my best friend as well as co-worker as we both worked together oddly enough in my older sisters pastry shop. Anyway, Madeline had told me once, as we visited over tea during our break from baking cookies and pies, that when she took part in the dunking booth attract that was part of the “Discover Benton '18' festival last year, that she felt totally exposed and a little frighten, not only because she was transgender, but because she was new and still quite body shy. And like I said before, she was also wearing a bathing suit. But once she got up there, all her fears seemed to melt away, in fact much to her amazement she started to enjoy it. She said she had enjoyed every minute of it, from the low-key flirting with the boys, to throwing shade at random people to well get them to take a change and dunk her.
“Jamie Sarah Potter!” My mom's voice rang out. “Come to dinner girl. Dad's home and he's ready to eat! We'll have cookies for dessert.” She paused, “And your sister's home too.”
“Coming mother!” I cried out as I turned off the light switch and left the bathroom. Dinner sounded good, better than cookies and milk that for sure. Also, Dad works long hours, and normally when he comes home, he eats dinner, takes a spit bath and sits in his chair and watches some program about UFO's and Aliens on the History Channel. Never in a million and one years would you expect a Prayer Book Anglican to entertain the idea that life could be found beyond this tiny, blue and green island, but my dad was one. Then again, maybe this open-mindless was the reason he had accepted me. Anyway, I turned off the light in the bathroom and skipped away. I hated using that bathroom, it always felt.. odd. I thought it was haunted, everyone else thought I was being silly. Anyway, sm
When I reached the kitchen, I noticed that daddy was seating at the head of the table. To his left was mommy and to his right was Lily. The main meat dish for tonight, has I had correctly guessed was indeed cornered beefs, served along side a big bowl of stewed cabbage and a few potatoes. It was a simple homespun meal. The bread though was oddly enough a whole loaf of garlic bread. Offering my family a smile, I took my seat and folded my hands in my lap. My family returned my smile with one of there own and once I was seated, my father cleared his throat and in a stern, firm, commanding of voice said.
“The Lord be with you.” He said as he reached up and removed his classes and set them to the side.
“And Also with you.” Mother, Lily and I responded in unison.
“Let us pray.” He said again as he took a deep breath and begin. “Lord, maker of all things, judge of all men, we your humble creatures give thanks for this meal you have set before us. We give thanks for for each person around this table. I give you thanks, for my loving wife, my two loving daughters. We give you thanks for the blessing of family, fellowship and the fruits of the good earth.” He pause. “You may, add you're own prayers and petitions here.”
At this point, we added our own prayers and petitions silently. Then after a thirty second pause, day finished the prayer by saying. “In the name of the Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.” said. He then crossed himself. And we followed suit repeating 'In the name of the Father, The Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen' before crossing ourselves. After our before meal prayer, a peaceful silents fell over the table. Finally, my sister broke the silence when between bites of cornered beef she said.
“So, Jamie there a rumor going around school that you volunteered for the schools dunking booth this year.” She said as she leaned back in he chair and fixed me firmly in her sight. “So is that true sis?”
Dad blinked and blinked again as he turned his head and also fixed me in his sight. Mom who had sighed the permission slip, followed suit, no doubt hoping to learn my reason for volunteering. A deep blush colored my cheeks as I felt all three sets of eyes peering toward me. Taking a deep breath, I slowly nodded my head.
“I did, and what the big deal?” I said shrugging my shoulders. “Is that a problem?”
Lily blinked and swallowed hard. “No, I'm just surprised you'd volunteered that all. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm so glad you volunteered. I mean, you were after all our school's official hostage for this years homecoming game. And you were appointed homecoming princess after all. So it kind of suits that you would volunteer. I'm proud of you that's all.”
Dad shrugged his shoulders and returned to his meal. He normally remained silent when these type of conversations came up. Though as soon as I finished speaking, mom started to weigh in on the conversation.
“Yes, it was brave for her to volunteer. Considering she still coming out her tomboy phase. I mean, where finally just now getting her to wear skirts and dresses.” She paused, Lily of course giggled like a man woman at the sly remark. I blushed and poked out my bottom lip in a pout. Mom pressed on though. “But we have more pressing issues to tend to, as you both know, where about to get into the warmer months of the year. And with that in mind, I've ordered a selection of bikinis and swimsuits for the store. Jamie if I can recall correctly, you have quite a bit of credit built up.”
“How much credit do I have?” Lily asked. “It must be pretty to a few thousand dollars by now.”
“You have twelve dollars and twenty five cents.” Dad said in a flat tone of voice. “As I recall, as soon as you got a good bit of money saved up. You'll start flipping through the catalogs and soon enough you'll have one or two items circled . I'll of course order it for you and in a week or two, I'll bring it home.”
“Come on! I gotta have way more than that saved up! You guys always use to keep down at that store, stocking the selves, dusting, mopping or something.” Lily barked. “What could I have possibly spent all that money on anyway?”
“Chine dolls.” Dad said without skipping a beat. “When you were a little girl, you loved to collect Victorian and Edwardian porcelain dolls. And we'll every time you'll get enough saved up. You'll get the toybook down and start flipping through the pages. And once you find the one you wanted. Like I said before you would circle it, and I'll order it for you. And when the next shipment came, we got them every week or so, I'll bring it home to you. Finally, one summer you worked all summer long and saved every scent and you brought yourself a nice bike, after you brought the bike, you enrolled yourself down at the local ambulance station and started to take several courses sponsored by the Red Cross. You completed these courses and earned several certificates.”
Mom then chimed in.
“Then you left the store and started your own babysitting business. I remember you even took out a small advertisement in the local paper.” Mom paused. “We knew then you'll go on and become something special. Like we knew there was something special about you, Jamie when you wanted to play Ariel in the yearly production of the 'Little Mermaid.' it just kind of clicked.”
Dad nodded his head in agreement.
“You know, there about to start having acting lessons down the old middle school. The one they turned into a civic center. Its across from the post office and near the Episcopal Church. I think there going to hold there first session on the first weekend of May. So you have a good or so to go down there and sign up. I'd suggest that, if you still wish to play Ariel in this years autumn production of 'The Little Mermaid' you start taking all the classes they offer. Also, over the summer, I would suggest you take 'Public Speaking' at the newly open 'Benton Vocational And Developmental Center' I checked into it, and Holmes Community college is also offering courses there. Completed courses can be transferred too.”
“Totally!” Lily sad as she peered toward me.
“Hey Jamie, I think both you and I need to go down and check out there course list. I'm going to a Senior next year and you're going to a sophomore. So, like for real sis, we both need to start checking out those courses, not only will you be earning college credits, but you'll also be developing your skills.” She paused. “And the greater your skills set the more you'll earn.”
“Speaking of school.” Dad asked as he peered toward Lily, “Any post-graduate plans?” He asked as he return to his meal. I know you and your friend have a little shop to tend to, but your mother and I would like you to at least attend on the local community colleges.” He popped another piece of beef into his mouth before turning his attention toward me. “And Jamie, I understand likewise you might be undergoing a life changing operation soon. But please, find some time. From what I've read on the net that operation puts you down for the ten count for at least a week if not more. So keep recovery time in your head while you're feeling out your social calendar for the summer.”
Lily eased her fork and knife down and reached over and picked up her napkin, slowly she blotted away at the corners of her mouth. Once she was finished, she folded up the napkin and placed it down beside her plate. She then leaned back into her chair, crossed her arms over her chest.
“Robin and I were both thinking about attending Holmes Community collage in Goodman. I figured by the time I graduate from Benton Academy, We'll have Jamie and Madeline train up enough so they can tend to the business while were away. Once we finished. I plan on returning to the shop. Robin wants to go on and attend Delta State though. I mean, it makes sense. Robin is more the brains behind the business. I'm more of the creative driving force. Once she finishes at Delta State, I guess. We'll both be to the business again. Not sure what Madeline wants to do once she finishes high School, or Jamie for that matter. But were not going to tie them down. I do want my little to go to college.” She then turned her full attention toward me.
“She has a wonderful, creative mind. Though her stories tend to be more on the teenage supernatural side of then. I place the blame for that firmly on Madeline's shoulders, she loves those 'R.L Stein' Slashes. She I know she lent my little sister a bakers dozen of her dog earned copies. Treasures taken from countless hours of working the dozen or so charity shops around here.”
“You write?” Mom said finally, “Honey that wonderful. I'll love to read some of your stories sometimes.” She said as she nodded her head in approval.
“Good for you.” Dad said as he peered toward Lily. “Your mother attend Homes, she said it was a a wonderful school. And your close too. You could even take the train back and forth. I think the Yazoo Valley Railroad still operates a passenger services between Benton, Goodman and a dozen or small cities and towns.”
“It does, and the train stations only a mile and a half from campus. I mean for real, Goodman is not even a city, its not even a town, and its not even a village. Its like a tiny hamlet or something.” Lily added. “Plus, with me being a student, I can get a pretty good discount on the fare, so like the whole trip would be like, what six dollars? Maybe ten if I decided to get lunch on the train.”
“Smart.” Dad said as he returned to eating his meal.
“Oh also girls, I have some really exiting news for you all. Dad and I talked it over, and we'll were going to go joining the country club soon. Like in a week or so when they hold annual welcoming cookout for new members. So Jamie, your going to need a formal gown and a few nice sundress.” Mom said with a small smile.
“Also while grocery shopping, I had a small visit with Benjamin's mom too, down at the local Sunflower. There also going to joining around the same time we do. She going to make sure that Benjamin's going to invite you to all there dances and social functions they host. She thinks you two are so cute together. Plus, she so glad to hear that you're working too. She was so afraid her son might fall for one those little gold diggers.”
I blinked and blinked again, 'The Country Club', or more properly 'The Benton Country Club' was the beating heart and soul of the upper-middle to middle class of Benton. All of your major civic organizations held there fundraisers on the grounds of the club. Those include the Elk's, The Free Masons, the Masons, the Benton Rotary Club, the Benton Garden and Flower Club, The Ladies Elite Society of St. Mary's Episcopal Church and last not not least the Lions Club.
There was also a number of rumors surrounding the club, rumors and urban legends stated that when the area public school, Benton Agricultural High School was facing desegregation. A group of leading farmers, merchants and businessmen gathered at the club to vent there anger. From this meeting, came the idea to form a private academy that would service the needs of the children of Benton who came from the pure Anglo-Saxon stock and who had been reared in the enlighten ideas of the Protestant Faith. Catholic children would be allowed to attend, as long as they kept there beliefs to themselves and attended Protestant services that the school would host through the year. That bit of tradition has passed into the shadows of time thankfully.
And so the above mentioned clubs and civic groups sprung into action. The chose to use the country club as short of a make-shift headquarters for the movement. Leading men and women in the community meet there to draw up the charter of the school. The first board of trustees were voted in there, the blue prints where drawn up and approved there. Even the deed for the sale of the land the school sat on took place there. And going on rumors that floated around town, a lot of 'Official' city business took place. The mayor and the Board of Selectman all belonged to the club and met there often after business hours to well talk.
And after that, everything seemed to settle down and another family meal came to a end. The following day, I returned the permission slip and at lunch I saw a list of the volunteers had been posted in the hallway. The list read as followed.
The 28th Annual Benton Academy Summer Carnival
Dunking Booth Rooster
10:30 AM till 11:00 AM Jamie Sarah Potter (Freshman)
11:00 AM till 11:30 AM Alice Kimberly Ford (Sophomore)
11:30 AM till 12:00 AM Lily Elizabeth Potter (Junior)
12:00 AM till 1:00 PM Taylor Wendy Smith (Senior)
1:00 PM till 1:30 PM Free to a Willing Volunteer
1:30 PM till 2:00 PM Free to a Willing Volunteer
The Dunking will close at 2:00 PM and Carnival will come to a end at 3:00 PM with all students expected to be off the school grounds by 3:15 PM. The only exception allowed will be for those students who have volunteered to stay and aid in the clean-up.
And there it was. Written in big hold letters, my name, my new name, the one I had chosen myself. Smiling a little, I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone. Smiling I took a picture with me posing next to the list. It was official. I was now going into the dunking booth.
The news of me volunteering for the dunking booth had traveled around school like a Californian Wildfire, the hallways too were buzzing too with rumors of the two open spots at the bottom of the list would go to. One rumor said Mrs. Kimberly the girls P.E teacher had volunteered, another rumor said that one of the girls from the Junior High had volunteered. I tried to float above the rumors. The night before the fete, I took a good hot bath and made sure to shave under my arms and my legs too. I wanted to smooth as velvet for my time in the booth. A deep blush colored my cheeks as I slipped on the adorable, navy blue, skirted bathing suit my mom had picked out for me.
Once I slipped on the suit, I took a minute to admire myself in the full length mirror of the bathroom. A deep blush colored my cheeks as I noticed how the suit seemed to fit my slender body like a glove. My otherwise small breast seemed to be be pushed up and noticeably larger. My arms, once a ghostly and sickly white where now nice and tanned and firm. My legs too where firmer. I had gotten fit it seemed. The sickly bookworm I was had passed away and now a lively adventure had taken her place. I give credit to the hellish regime of calisthenics and physical training Mrs. Kimberly the Girl's P.E teacher had put me through. She had pretty much transformed me from a twig with hair to well a bigger twig I guess.
I quickly shook my head and made tracks for my room. Once there, I tossed on my school skirt, a pleated red and white skirt, threw on some socks, slipped on a pair of sneakers, and threw on my blouse and tie. That done, I rushed down the stairs, snatched up my gym bag that I had packed the night before. The bag held a towel, some shampoo, soup, a extra hairbrush, rubber bands, a small first aid kit and some other things. Placing the bag over my shoulder, I rushed down the front porch and onto the street corner.
At the corner of the street a trolley picked me up and after dropping my a random handful of silver coins into the bucket, I took a seat and waited. Lily soon appeared, the driver waved her through. She smiled as she took the seat next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. “I owe you one sis.” She said with a small smile.
“For?” I said turning toward her as I returned her smile with one of my own.
“You paid for my fare. The conductor said you paid for like yours and mine. So like I owe you one, on top of owing you like a one movie and with snacks.” She said sighing. “So how about this, like I know I promised to take you to Ridgeland to see the movies, but chances are that not going to happen. I mean I planned on taking you the weekend after homecoming. But you know, Jamie came into being, school drama started, you got knocked out. Crazy Headmaster threaten to throw me off the cheerleader team. Then you got baptized again. Halloween came, You got gunged again, Linda left for St. Katherine's and now, were about to finish the year. Oh did I mention, you got your first ever school spanking too. So yes, its been kind of a crazy year.”
“I get it sis. Its been a crazy year.” I said rolling my eyes. “And don't forget, I almost died on the operating table of MCC. I mean, I might have just died. I'm not sure what the freak happen. I just remember them giving me a shot and the next thing I knew, I was standing in some kind of field.”
Lily blinked and turned her head toward me. I never told any one about this, not even my best friend Madeline. But Lily, she was my older sister and I felt that, if you could not trust your older sister, you might as well just give up on life. Plus, we had a good fifteen minutes till the trolley reached the front gates of Benton Academy. More than plenty of time for me to tell my story.
“So, is this going to be Jamie story time again?” Lily said smiling.
“Sure, if you like.” I said shrugging my shoulders.
Lily smiled and nodded her head. “Sure, go ahead sis and tell the story.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and for a minute I was back there again. I was once more standing in the clearing, okay it was more like a meadow, it was like one of those meadows in a children's book, a large oval that was surrounded by tall trees that formed like a huge circle around the space, the meadow itself was dotted with flowers of all kinds that were in bloom. I could still clearly remember there being huge sunflowers, sweet smelling roses, buttercups and blue bells. From where I stood, I could see the outline of tall, snow capped mountains looming in the distance. And beyond those, I knew there were cities. I could not see the cities, but I could sense them and and smell them. I could hear the laughter of children, the sound of horse's hooves clomping down on cobblestones and the smell, oh the smells. Fresh baked breads, cured meats hanging in the display windows of shops. And the sides of the street where line with fruit trees too, apples, limes, oranges, cherries, and lemons. There branches where heavy with them and hanging so low, that the children who played and the people who lived in those villages could just reach up and pick them at there pleasure.
But then, it all changed, the grass started to wither, dark storm clouds clouded the once blue sky. The sound of rolling thunder echoed off the mountain side. The wind started to rise and from the heavens, large pieces of ice and hail started to fall. And there in the clearing beside me, stood the shadow, smiling ear to ear, a smile that caused my blood to freezing water. Its eyes where a deep, deep, hellish red color and reeked of smoke and embers. The shadow advanced toward me, reached and wrapped his fingers around my throat and started to squeeze as he peered into my eyes and then it said.
I don't remember what it said, but my heart froze. Another vision filled my head. A crowed operating room, nurses and doctors surrounding somebody. The machines where flickering on and off. Panic was setting in and beeping of the machine grew louder and louder and louder with each passing second as one voice yelled out above the noise and confusion.
“Were losing her! Doctor were losing her!” I cried out. I then noticed everyone on the tram had paused and was now peering at me. Lily above all who was just looking at me. Slowly she blinked and looked to her left and then she looked to her right. And finally she leaned over and in a series tone of voice said.
“Cool it sis. Listen I understand if you don't want to talk about. That night was hard on all of us. But I would really suggest dropping down by the church and seeing the new priest. Fr. Bell, he's a good friend of dads since they you know ran together when he was at St. Katherine's I think they were in the comic book club together or something. Not sure. Anyway, go see him.. When you get a chance.”
“Also, I was thinking about renting all three of the 'Annabelle films' cause, I know you dig the supernatural stuff. And, giving you, you're really first pedicure and manicure, cause while you have been living as a girl now for at least a year. You've never really gotten on. I mean, don't get me wrong, I can understand why, like there only really good salon in town that does them. And the owner is a bitch..” She said closing her eyes.
I nodded my head, the woman in question was indeed a 'Bitch' her name was Cindy Cotton and for years she had been the go to location for all this beauty in the town. Her salon, 'Cotton's Salon and Spa' was located on main street a dozen or shops down from where my sister and her friend had there business. Mom and Cindy had been friends at one point two, and Lily till up a few months ago would only let Cindy or one of her daughters cut her hair. That all changed of course.
See, in Benton there a a certain class of people, Cindy like her mother before her, belonged to that special breed of folks who came to Benton in the booming years that followed our Victory in the Second World War. Cotton, soybeans and other things were once more being shipped down the Big Black River and Benton being the only port on said river drew in the goods like a moth to the flame.
New neighborhood's where also springing up. The dirt roads were being replaced with new blacktop. The main streets in the older sections of town, my neighborhood for example and Main street voted to keep there streets paved in brick. Anyway, most of those people came from the poorer regions of the state and they brought with them, the conservative values of the Clay Hill Region and Pine Belt Region. Most of them mistrusted anything having to do with Rome, and openly disliked the few Roman Catholics that had settled in Benton. Many of them joined the local Baptist Church and when the teachings of that church did not suit there needs many of them would break away and form one of there own that better suited there special brand of 'Hellfire and Brimstone' if you catch my drift.
“Anyway,” Lily said. “Like I saying. I was going to rent a few supernatural movies. But lately, you've been worrying. You claim the downstairs bathroom is haunted, haunted by what I have idea. You wake up in the middle of the night screaming about a shadow that going to drag you into hell. I mean, I get it. You like the paranormal stuff. I'm cool with that, really I am. I think you need to chill for a night and take a small break from it. So, how about this, how about I rent some Disney Classics and we catch up. You know, 'Beauty and the Beast', 'Snow White', 'Princess and the Frog' and 'Frozen'.” She said squeezing my shoulder.
“Sounds like a winner.”
The trolley came to a rolling stop. Quickly I collected my bag and Lily collected hers and soon we were off along with the dozen or so other Benton Academy students who often rode the trolley to school on a daily bases. Once we stepped off the tram, we walked through the open iron gates. Lily and I parted ways in the hallway. She speeding toward the gym for one last meeting with the cheerleaders and I making tracks to homeroom.
The end of Chapter 4.
The empty field had been transformed into carnival wonderland. Attractions of all kinds had been set up by the staff and student organizations. Food trucks of course were on hand to provided food and cheap meals to hunger students. The smell of burning charcoal filled the air along with the smell of sweating hot dog's and hamburgers. In the center of everything, the dunking booth stood, as proud as a queen at court. And sitting perched at the edge of the drop seat was me, Jamie Sarah Potter.
Beyond the vale of the protective net, I could see dozens and dozens of people just milling about the field. The booth had been open for about two minutes and already people were starting to line up. Like I said before, a word of me volunteering for the dunking booth had spread like a wildfire through the school. And a lot of the freshman girl had all but jumped at the chance for a little 'Revenge' feeling I had become way to popular in way too short of a time. Already a good dozen of them were starting to line up, each one eager for a chance to send me down into the three or four hundred gallons of freezing cold water that waited me.
“Looking cute.” One girl said as she moved closer to the throw line, a white painted line that had been chalked into the ground a mere six or so feet from the front of the tank. She smiled and tossed one of the yellow tennis balls up into the air before she snatched it down. “The homecoming princess, sitting in the dunking booth, looking cute as a peach.” She said in a sing-song tone of voice as she tossed the ball up in the air again before catching it.
I blinked and blushed a little as I looked down at my hands folded in my lap.
“Okay girl. I hope you're ready to get wet.” She called out as she drew her arm back and tossed the ball toward the target. The ball sailed through the air and mercifully bounced off the side of the target wall and rolled on the ground. A look of clear disappointment came across her face as she watched the ball bounce off the wall and roll toward her.
A small giggle escaped my lips. I'm sure she was hoping to dunk me at the first go.
A clear, pout crossed the girls face as she picked the second ball and tossed it once more toward the target. A moment later, the sound of the ball slamming into the metal trigger filled the air and the seat under me gave way, sending me down into the water. Small waves of water splashed over the side of the tank and caused the ground beside the tank to become moist. For a few seconds I felt myself dropping through the air, then I felt it, the coldness of the water touching my skin. My bottom touched the bottom of the tank and I smiled as I peered through the viewing glass in the front of the tank. After a few seconds the need for air drove me toward the surface.
As I broke the surface of the water, I turned and smiled toward the girl who dunked me and gave her the thump's up before I pushed the drop seat up. I soon heard it clicking into place and then grinning ear to ear, I climbed up the small, iron ladder and once I was reached the top of the ladder, I once more eased my bottom onto the seat and slowly moved toward the edge. Once I was seated, I folded my hands on my lap and offered the gathered crowds a wink.
“So.” Another girl said as she moved up to the throw line. “Ms. Jamie Sarah Potter herself has decided to grace us with her presents. You know girl, I'm all about the whole rags to riches stories.” She said tossing the ball into the air. “And volunteering for the dunking booth, kind of shows us you're a level headed girl and kind of down to earth and all. But still, I gotta dunk ya.”
She said as she tossed the ball high into the air and with an impressive amount of skill caught it. She then flashed me a golden smile and drew her arm back. I took a deep breath and waited, I was sure that I'll soon be going down again. But much to my amazement the ball sailed over the target and bounced harmlessly off the wall. My eyes followed the ball as it bounced off the wall and rolled on the ground. Smirking a little, I turned my attention toward the girl who threw the ball and gave her a little wink.
“Gotta have better aim than that. If you're going to dunk me.” I said smirking as I watched her grit her teeth. She wrapped her fingers tightly around the ball and took a deep breath. Drawing her arm back, she once more tossed the ball toward the target. The ball sailed through the air and once more smashed into wall, but missed the trigger by a good inch and a half.
“Wow.” I said kicking my feet a little.
“I'm just getting warmed up you brat!” She shouted back as she eyed the trigger. I watched as she took a deep breath and once more tossed the ball toward the trigger, the ball sailed through the the air and came a bit closer to hitting the ringer but again it bounce off the wall and landed on the wet grass.
A small smile started to play across my lips as I noticed how crestfallen the girl appeared when her second throw failed to hit the target. Now, Benton Academy is a small school, I mean most private schools are small schools. And many of us, save a few have known each other for years and years. Why do I bring that up now? We'll because the girl standing in front me was something of a career softball player. Not only did she play for the Benton Raiders but she also played for 'The Sally Sunflowers' a girls softball team that was sponsored by 'Sunflower' the towns only full line grocery store.
“Come on, dunk me already! You softball girls are suppose to be like, the best! Man, if you can't even hit that target, how do you expect to strike out one of those Vicksburg girls in the upcoming season?” I said throwing in a few teasing remarks.
“We country girls, can smash them river vixen's! Just like this country girl's going to dunk you!” She growled as she squeezed the last tennis ball tighter. So tight was she holding the ball in her hand, I was quite afraid that it might just be crushed and crumbled up in the palm of her hand.
“We'll then.” I said smirking as I peered down at the girl from the height of the drop seat. “Why don't you put your money were your mouth is.” I said grinning ear to ear.
The girl did not respond. She only drew the ball back and tossed it toward the trigger again. The ball once more sailed through the air and this time it smashed into the trigger, dropping me once more down into the freezing cold water below.
The girl smiled and slowly started to walk away. The next ten minutes passed quickly, dozens or so people tried to dunk me, and a few did. The water seemed to be growing colder and colder though with each dunk I took. Then I spotted somebody who made me blush, picking her way through the crowd. A tall girl with jet black hair and dressed in the classic school uniform of Benton Academy. A white button down blouse, with the tails tucked into the waistline of a red and white pleated skirt. White stockings and black dress shoes completed the look.
Following behind the girl was a boy a few years younger than her. He was dressed in a faded and weather worn blue jeans and a simple, white button down shirt a pair of simple, dust covered black sneakers completed the look. I knew the girl the minute my eye caught sight of her her. Her name was name Joan and I was dating the boy that was following behind her. That boy would be younger brother Ben.
Joan soon noticed me out of the corner of her eye and quickly she started to move through the crowds, with her brother in tow. Soon they where standing before the booth. Joan smiling ear to ear, paid the teacher staffing the booth the five dollar fee and was reward with three, yellow tennis balls. She wrapped the tennis ball tightly in her hand and peered toward me.
“Look who we have, sitting in the dunking booth. Little, Miss. Twice kisser herself. Told you girly-girl. You only allowed to kiss my brother only twice on an any given date. And I remember at homecoming, I told you you were only allowed one kiss. But my spies told me, you stole another kiss.” She said in a lecturing tone of voice. “So, now its time to get your punishment.”
I felt a deep blush color my cheeks. But since I was on a roll, I decided to answer cheek with cheek. So straightening my back and folding my hands in my lap and striking the most alluring pose I could muster given the fact I was soaking wet, chilled and a little embarrassed. That done, I then called out to Joan.
“Oh bless your little heart honey child, getting all flustered because I've taken a fancy to your brother. Come on girl, your not fooling anyone with that little plaster saint act you got going on. We all know you've been doing more than a little kissing with that Craft boy you've been spotted with. Some even say, you're the reason Matthew Craft has been walking around school, proud as a rooster and haughty as a turkey.
At that moment, I wish I had my phone on me, you should have seen how red Joan's face turned as she tried to process what I said. Slowly her eyes started to grow wide as saucer plates as she peered toward me. She started to squeeze the ball so tight, I was sure it would crumble up like a sheet of paper in the palm of her hand. I swear when she breathed out, I saw two sets of jet steam come shooting out of her noise and orange and red jets of fire leaping out of her mouth.
“Oh honey, you've gotten a little mouth on you.” She paused and looked over at the teacher. “Would you mind going to fetch me a bar of soap. One of them big, golden bars that look like molten gold. Cause, I think a little freshman needs her mouth washed out and her heels cooled.”
The teacher only chuckled.
“And I think a prudent puritan needs to loosen up and have some fun.” I responded.
Joan narrowed her eyes and drew the back and then smoothly released it, the ball sailed from from the palm of her hand and flew toward the the trigger. A half of a second later the ball bounce harmless off the wall and rolled on the ground.
“Man, and your suppose to be our star pitcher as well as Co-Captain of the varsity cheerleading squad. And yet you can't even hit that trigger. Maybe you need to move up a little. That or get you eyes checked or something.” I said tossing a little shade toward Joan who just stood there, rooted in the ground as a deep blush bloomed on her cheeks.
“Oh you a sassy little thing.” Joan said taking a deep breath. “And I'm about to cool those heels of yours.” She said grinning ear from ear as she peered toward me, she then readied her second toss. This time, her toss struck the ringer, sending the board down and me into the freezing cold water below. A deep blush colored my cheeks as I bobbed up and down in the water. Again the water seemed colder than normal!
“Cooled you right down!” Joan called out. She said tossing her final ball up in the air before catching it in midair before she tossed it up again. “Now, get your bottom back on that seat!” She shouted as she watched me wade toward the seat, taking a deep breath I pushed the seat back up. I soon heard it click as I climbed up the ladder and once more I took my seat.
“One more minute.” The teacher called out who was staffing the booth. “Go ahead, and push the button.” She said as she nodded toward Joan. Joan blinked and blinked again. Slowly she stepped over the throwing line, then waltzing her way toward the trigger, she put out her hand and placed the palm of her hand over the button.
“You know I love you? You know that right?” She said in a sweet as honey tone of voice.
“Oh for the love of God, just go ahead and do it Joan.” I said trying not to smirk. And she did, and once more I felt myself dropping like a stone into the freezing water below. And we'll, that it. I'll upload a picture from the event here soon. Its been a strange and wonderful road. I want to thank you guys for following along with me. I hope to bring you some more updates and stories. In the mean time, go check out what my other friends have written.
So till then, stay sweet.
With Love. Jamie Sarah Potter~
Here pauses 'The Adventures of Jamie Sarah Potter'.
The 'Fishing Rodeo' was an annual tournament that was sponsored by the 'The Benton Bass Federation' a local association of professional and amateur fisherman and women. The tournament often meant big business for the downtown merchants too, as tourists from the surrounding cities and towns would flood in, some even entering their names into the event in hopes of claiming the bragging rights that came with catching the biggest fish. And of course, some hoped to pocket their share of the prize money being offered. Though save for a few professional fishermen, most of whom were retired and thus could devote considerable more time to honing their craft than say me. Who was for the most part still an amateur when it came down to the brass taxes of it, anyway most if not all of the people who entered the tournament were hobbyist fishermen.
Now the 'Fishing Rodeo' was almost always held on the first Saturday of the month of August. With that in mind, I had requested to be off that day. Because, like I said before, I was something of an avid fisherman though I was still something of a novice, though many of my peers considered me the best in Benton. I was also one of the newest members of 'The Benton Bass Federation' since I considered the main goal of the association was to promote good sportsmanship and good practices among the members as a noble goal. And one I considered worthy of my support.
Now returning to the story, the morning had dawned gray and clear. The weather channel had given the forecast for the day as clear skies and plenty of sunshine with the wind blowing at five to ten miles an hour would prove ideal at keeping the seasonal plague of gnats, horseflies and mosquitoes at bay. And with weight being set at noon, I attended to be the first one at the pier that morning with my hook in the water before the sun had even risen. And so, with my mind, it was still black dark when I started to load my trike down with all the gear I thought I might need. That included a fishing pole, a pink and white tackle box that was filled with all my fishing gear, you know, spare hooks, corks, line, weights, split shot, gloves, lures, and flies.
Nestled beside the tackle box was a small ice chest that was filled with ice. I had filled the ice chest with ice of course, but also a few bottles of my favorite flavor of gator-aid, lemon lime, a few slices extra thick slices of Brayn deli classic bologna. And for something sweet, I had even tucked away a few moon pies. It was a classic southern fishing lunch, something to ward off hunger. And since I was skipping breakfast that morning, I would really need a snack a few hours in.
Once my gear was packed, I mounted my bike and tightened the strap of the pink and white bike helmet.
You know safety first and all that good jazz. Once the strap on my back was nice and tight, I mounted my bike and then I took off. As I pedaled my bike down the cobblestone paved street. My mind started to wander and I started to think back. So much much was changing in my life. I mean it was now summer, eight or nine months ago my older sister Lily had asked me to volunteer to be the hostage in a silly tradition our school puts on for homecoming. In those eight or nine months I had gone from being a shy, slightly withdrawn little boy to a full fledged girl who had really started to come out of her shell a ton.
Everything seemed to be going my way, I had a small part time job working with my sister in her maid-cafe style bakery. I had a small circle of really good and faithful friends I could depend on. I had gotten really good grades last year. I was going to be on the cheerleading squad next year, Lily was already starting to teach me some basic moves and the other girls were already teaching me the basic cheers and above all and I'm quite proud of this. I even had a boyfriend, whom I loved and cherished above all else and he returned my love with the most tender of affection and devotion any girl could ask for.
All of these thoughts floated around my head as I biked down the aged cobblestone paved streets of Benton. Soon I found myself biking down the main street area, most of the shops were closed, save only for Ginger Even's Bakery that was just starting to put out some hot from the oven, yeast risen and glazed donuts. A few old cars dotted the parking lot of Sunflower Food Store, Benton's premier and only full line grocery store. The town it seemed was still asleep or was in the process of waking up. One of the two I assumed, but at length I finally reached the small park that was located at the bottom of main street. You see, the town was first settled into an 'S' curve of the Big Black River. The original name of the town was 'Hannah's Landing' because in those early days, keel boats, flat bottom boat, and latter paddle wheel boats, the most famous and well remembered of these being the 'River Belle' and the 'General Washington' would land and upload there cargo at the bottom of Main. Those days have long since passed into a hazy memory, and now only the occasional river barge would dock down at the harbor.
Returning to my story, there now sits a huge concrete amphitheater down where the boats used to unload their goods. Surrounding the amphitheater are about a half dozen wooden piers that extend into the river, people are allowed to fish from these platforms. And about a mile and a half down from the amphitheater there is a section of sandbar we locals call “The Beach '' because it kind of looks like a beach, the sand is really sugary white and coarse too. And on really windy days, when the winds would blow at twenty to thirty miles a hour, waves as big as anything seen on the coast would pop up out on the river and they would even start to whitecap and there was even a little run down wooden shack out there that sold snacks on busy days. You know, corn dogs, funnel cakes, dough boys smeared with honey, flavored chipped ice, ice cream by the scoop you know, your basic outdoor warm weather type of foods. They even sometimes fired up the old grill out back and grilled hot dogs, sausage dogs, hamburgers and steaks. We called it the 'Snack Shack' fitting enough I suppose and look at me, I'm rambling off the head again.
Anyway I soon reached the pier and found them swamped with people all dressed to the nines in fishing gear. From where I stood at the top of the hill, I had an ideal view to look down at the gathered mob of people, I mentally counted around two dozen heads. Meaning twenty four people had turned out to try their luck. A sudden stiff breeze blew the scent of strongly brewed coffee right across my face. Now down here in Dixie we call this type of coffee “High Cotton'' coffee because it's said to be so strong that it would make the cotton seeds shoot up from the ground and bloom. Soon, I could hear the noise and chatter from a dozen or so loud and animated conversations. All focusing on the task at hand, catching the biggest largemouth bass and winning the grand prize of five hundred dollars and a nice trophy to boot, cause you know, trophies are nice. The second place prize was two hundred dollars and a smaller trophy, not as big as the first but still nice. And finally the third place prize was a hundred dollars and a small, but still cool looking trophy.
Anyway, I parked my bike by the iron wrought bike rack and secured it with a good length of gray iron chain I had brought from the local hardware store. Not that I really really needed too, you see Benton is that kind of small southern town where you can sleep with your bedroom window wide open and your front door unlocked. But, the bike had cost me around three hundred dollar or so and required dad to drive me to the newly built Walmart Supercenter in nearby Yazoo City to pick it up. And so, I'm not taking any chances with this puppy. Anyway once my bike was safe and secure, I started to walk down the concrete sidewalk that snaked its way down from the top of the hill to the docks below. Once I reached the bottom of the stairs, I started to make my way through the crowds of people who had gathered around the table. There I was greeted with a sight that made my blood run cold, sitting behind the table was a woman, one I knew right off the bat.
She had long, honey blonde hair that reached down to her shoulders, she was dressed in a simple, solid yellow sundress and pretty, freshly painted toes were covered by heeled saddles. The smile she wore on her face was one of those Hollywood smiles that famous starlets give off when there on the air. The kind of smile that seems to fill the room with bright light and tends to draw people in like a moth toward an open flame. I knew the woman as Heather Ford. Or, Ms. Ford as proper social equate in the south would demand me to call her. She was the hostess of the popular PBS night time talk show “Heather's House Party'' a kind of American reboot of the cult classic British late night talk show “Noel House Party” the only difference was “Heather's House Party” had more of that high class old school feel about that. For example, there was a real antebellum southern feel about the set of “Heather's House Party| with the set being designed to mimic a tea room that one will most likely find in any number of well preserved, and historically registered antebellum homes that are scattered throughout the south. Most of those are clustered in either Vicksburg or Natchez, but Benton has one or two of them.
As I neared the registration table, the woman staffing it, looked up and offered me something of a small smile. She then leaned back into her chair and fixed her baby blue eyes upon me. Then in a very high class, southern tone of voice, a tone of voice I have coined the “High Southern” because it reminds me so much of that classic southern accent one hears on those classic period dramas such as “Gone with the Wind” and
“Gods and Generals”.
“We'll bless my heart. If its not little old Jamie Sarah Potter herself.” She said leaning back in her chair, she then fixed those big blue eyes upon me and smiled. “It seems you're becoming quite popular around her. Everybody has been talking about you and how talented you are. It seems you've learned the fishing trade from your uncle? A one Thomas Weller Potter, who is a well known regional trapper, commercial fisherman and something of an avoid storyteller.”
A small smile graced my face as I nodded my head in agreement, my uncle Thomas Weller Potter had indeed taught me how to fish and he was indeed well known for his skill at fur trapping and was something of a highly successful commercial fisherman. He was also, as Heather Ford said, something of an avid storyteller who could spin a yarn as long as your leg. And if any one would give him a chance, he would often twiddle away a whole afternoon vividly recalling accounts from his misguided youth. He was also overly fond of ghost stories.
“Yep,” I said walking over to the table. I then bent down, took a forum from a neat stack of papers. I then reached down and took a fountain pen from the table and started to fill in the boxes. I was almost halfway through when out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Heather smiling toward me. I blinked and finished filling in the boxes. Once the forum was completed, I handed the completed form back to Heather who looked it over and finally after a stress filled few minutes she gave it her nod of approval and slipped it into the stack of the completed forums.
“So, I don't know if anybody has informed you Miss. Potter,” Heather said smiling toward me, “But there has been a slight change of pace, you see, since I'm in town, we'll I kind of live here now.” She said blushing a little. “I figured we could do a live streaming show here today. And since it won't be Heather's House Party without the gunge tank, I took the liberality of having it set up in the charming concrete amphitheater located just a mile away. We figured that it would be added element of mild humiliation that whoever catches the smallest fish of the day would suffer an ice cold gunging at the hands of the person who caught the biggest fish.” She said the last part with a wink. “I lifted the idea from one of those charming Japanese comic books you had laying around your room.”
Once more I felt my cheeks starting to bloom with color as memories of my last encounter with Heather came flooding back. It was last Halloween, I had only been living as Jamie for a few months. And I was still totally new to being a girl, with me still being new to being a girl, I had kind of chosen to opt out of the yearly tradition of wearing a revealing or risque costume. Anyway, I had chosen to spend that fable evening sitting at home, feasting on personal pan pizzas from the then newly built Pizza Hut pizza place and sipping ice cold Coca-Cola while watching rerun episodes of “Ghost Adventures” and episode after episode of shows that focused on the ghostly encounters, paranormal encounters and battles with demons. Anyway I was just about to turn in for the night, when my mom popped into my room. I remember my mom and dad had just returned from the annual Halloween Fete that's held each year in Bran Park, another park in town that is located on the other side of town. I can't recall what mom was wearing, I think she was dressed in a simple colonial style gown.
Anyway she popped into my room and after a moment's pause, maybe wondering about the three boxes of personal pan pizza boxes scattered about and the dozen or so empty cans of soda, she informed me that I had an visitor waiting for me down in the living room. A woman by the name of Ms. Heather Ford. Slightly puzzled I followed my mother down the stairs and into the living room. There I found sitting upon the living room sofa, sitting beside my older sister Lily Elizabeth Potter and soon my mother was the starlet of Heather's House Party herself, Ms. Heather Ford herself. Who after a moment of pleasant conversation, quickly informed me that my sister had written a letter stating that I had been acting like a big old brat and that she felt a public gunging was in order to knock me down a peg or two. Shocked, stunned and beyond words, I remember following her outside to the front porch, then I remember descending down the wooden steps and onto the cobblestone street. And there in the center of the street stood the fabled gunge tank that had been filled with gallons of deep, rustic orange gunge!
“Hello?!” Heather's voice rang out, as clear as a sabbath bell. “Hello, ground control calling Jamie, space command calling Jamie Sarah Potter. Can you hear me?” Her voice called out again, still spaced, I just stood there with my feet rooted into the ground, “Ladies and gentleman. I'm afraid to report that we have lost contact with Jamie Sarah Potter. She is not floating deep into the uncharted regions of space.” She added in a mocking concern voice, a tone of voice that made a few nearby people chuckle and giggle.
I blinked and blinked again as I felt my high cheek bones start to flush with color as I felt Heather Ford starting to tease me a little, slowly I took a deep breath, folded my arms across my chest, curled my lips into a pout and turned my full attention toward the woman. Who returned my pouting with a small demure smile as she walked over and swiftly wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug.
“Aw, don't pout sweetie, I was just teasing you.” She released me from her bone crushing hug and smiled toward me, “Anyway we're burning sunshine here. Why don't you go ahead and start fishing. Remember we're going to start judging at straight up twelve o' clock.” And with that she stepped away. She was about to vanish into the crowds of gathered specters when she quickly paused, turned upon her heel and winked toward me.
“And also honey, one more thing. Since I'm entering this little village contest too, you might even get the change to gunge me in my own tank. So here's your one and maybe only shot at revenge.” She paused and walked back toward me.
“We'll see about that! I called out as I turned toward the departing Heather. I sighed and then looked down at the small, pastel pink and white “Hello Kitty'' digital watch wrist watch that was strapped around my slender wrist. The digital time read seven fifteen in the morning. I nodded my head, I had just under five hours to hook and land the biggest fish this sleepy little town has ever seen and with that I would claim my rightful place in history. Quickly, I started to gather up my gear. Once my gear was gathered up, I started to trot toward the nearest pier. Time was starting to slip through my fingers. And I did not have a minute or so to lose.
After a brief five minute or so walk, I finally reached the end of one the pier. The morning sun was just starting to break across the horizon. The water was a little choppy and the soothing sound of the waves crashing into the rocky shoreline rang in my ears. Taking a deep breath, I raised up my fishing rod, pressed down release and tossed my line out into the water. And then I waited, and waited, and as the minutes slowly started to tick by, I was starting to give up hope. Then I felt a sudden tug at the end of the light. My line became tight and the reels started to howler as whatever was attached to the end dove down deep. I knew then, the fight was on.
For sixteen minutes I fought tooth and nail, that fish and I. I could feel that fish was a monster, it pulled and tugged, and I reeled and reeled, each time I would gain a mere inch on him, I would quickly two more. It was a heroic fight, and several times I brought him to the top of the water. His majestic tail danced on top of the waves, he would dance for a long second or two then, with renewed strength he would dive down, deeper and deeper he went. He was fighting with all his strength, with every ounce of it. And oddly enough, I could sense that through the line. Once he had almost me on the ropes, as I was leaning so far over the wooden railing of the end of the pier, once or twice, I feared it might give way and I'll fall into the water.
Then it happened, the line snapped and my big monster of a fish escaped. The fight had left me a hush of a woman. I was breathing harder than a dragon and sweating like a pig. The fight had sapped all my strength, I had lost if not all of the feeling in my hand, and the most damning of all, my spirit had been crushed. That was easily the biggest fish I had ever seen in my life and maybe the biggest one I had ever hooked. And it was gone, gone forever.
The Hannah Potter Amphitheater was a concrete amphitheater located downtown and it was filled with people. Located at the stage at the bottom was a clear plastic booth with a reservoir of pastel pink colored gunge. Standing near the booth , resting on a white and green plastic law chair was a woman with long, golden blonde hair that reached down to the small of her back. She graced the prettiest blue eyes you had ever seen. She was dressed in a light, yellow sundress. A coy smile graced her face as they peered toward the rows of people, all of them decked out to the nines in light summer wear.
From where I was sitting, at the very top row, I took note that most of the guys wore either solid color t-shirts and tropical print swim trunks that were paired with simple plastic sandals or gray colored crocs. A type of plastic shoe that's quite popular with people who often visit the lake, because they dry out quickly in the hot summer sun and provided plenty of protection for your feet. After all, despite the cities best efforts to to clean up the lakeside part that the concrete amphitheater was located in, there still could be hidden dangers lurking about. Such as shards of broken glass, rusted nails from pieces of long rotted away pieces of driftwood, jagged pieces of iron and tin that were discarded long ago by a careless fisherman or farmer.
The girls for the most part wore colorful, pastel colored sundresses over there two piece bikinis or one piece bathing suits, most of them wore colorful beach shoes or thick plastic saddles, I myself had stripped down to my bathing suit, a cute, solid navy blue swimsuit that was modeled off the ones wore by Japanese schools and often appear in Slice of Life anime's my favorite type of anime's. I had ordered the swimsuit from a J-List, an online retailer that focused on selling goods that otaku's like me craved. Including cosplay props and costumes. When I first ordered the item, I thought it would be just a really cute and somewhat risque costume. I quickly found out that the swimsuit was really a swimsuit.
“Good afternoon everyone.” Heather called out as she walked out to the center of the amphitheater. “We're coming to you live, on location from Bent, a picture perfect village located at the edge of the Mississippi delta. Today the Benton Bass Federation has sponsored a Fishing Rodeo. And well, to spice things up a bit, we decided on adding an extra forfeit. The person who caught the smallest fish would have the pleasure of going into the gunge tank and get gunged by the person who caught the biggest fish. And now without further delay, let's have the results. Can I have a drum roll please?”
Heather then paused as an already recorded drum roll was played over the sound system. A blonde haired stage hand then handed Heather a sealed envelope, she waited for the roll to play out before she broke the seal and pulled out the thin sheet of paper.
“Okay, it seems that Ms. Jamie Sarah Potter, a student at Benton Academy and a part time waitress and baker at Sweet Magnolia, a maid theme cafe located in the historical downtown area of Benton, did not have any luck today and did not catch a fish. And by default she caught the smallest fish. While shocking enough, it seems, that I caught the biggest fish today, with it weighing in at eight pounds and four ounces.” She stuffed the paper back into the envelope and smiled as she handed it back to the stage hand.
I felt another wave of heat pass over my cheeks as all eyes turned and focused in on me.
Drawing a deep breath, I slowly lifted myself from the concrete bench and stood ramrod straight. Still blushing I started to pick my way through the rows of people till at last I found myself standing on the stage below. Heather, smiling from one ear to the other walked over to me and wrapped one of her arms around my shoulder. For a long minute we exchanged knowing glances as she guided me into the tank. A big round circle had been placed in the bottom of the tank, taking a wild guess, I stepped into the center of the circle and waited.
Heather only giggled like a schoolgirl as she stepped to the side of the tank. She then took the release cord into her hands and smiled and then a second later she gave it a good hard tug. Seconds later, I felt something cold fall down upon the top of my head. I quickly closed my eyes and leaned into the downpour. The brightly colored paste smelled nice at least, the smell reminded me of freshly picked strawberries, straight from the field. And it was bloody freezing cold too, it had the consistency of liquid mud. As the mud like liquid rained down on my shoulder, rolled down my back, coated my hair and started to pool around my feet. I felt a sense of sheer coldness starting to encase me.
My blush only started to deepen as I heard thousands of voices starting to laugh and clap. Then it hit me like a verbal ton of bricks, the coldness, the sheer coldness of the stuff and how it clung to me like mud. Now I had been slime twice before, once at my school's homecoming football game. It was something of a weird tradition called the “Hostage Exchange” the other time was on Halloween. As part of a prank played by my older sister.
But both of those times, the gunge had been a bit runny and watery, this time the gunge was super thick, sticky, almost like mud or jam and the coldness, the coldness seemed to cling to me, it seemed to surround me, my arms started to pimple and my heart started to race as the last few drops fell down on my head.
“Oh my!” Exclaimed Heather as she peered into the booth. “I think they might have used a little too much powder when they were mixing up this batch of gunge.” She said smiling as she winked toward the crowd. “I gotta say though, pink is really your color darling. It looks so good on you, a lot better than that year old gunge we used last time?” She added with a wink.
I blushed again, it was a joke you see, last time Heather gunged me, she hinted that the gunge had been left over from last Halloween. I was later told once the cameraman had packed up his gear, and the crowd had vanished or returned back to their warm cozy homes or back to their Halloween parties or whatever their business was that night. Yes once they had vanished from sight, Heather had pulled me to the side and in her own words told me that that little statement had been nothing but 'A throwaway Line' a line meant to get a response from the crowd. Heather's really nice too, she even came to visit me in the hospital a few days after Halloween was over. That not to say she not a real witch when it comes to mixing up this stuff. She like a devilish mix of Frankenstein and Einstein when it comes to gunge. Meaning she very creative, very brilliant and at times very cruel.
“Right, it also smells better.” I added throwing in my own brand of really dry Episcopalian humor.
“We'll strawberries are in season, and your best friend, Madeline, who also works part time at the maid cafe and part time on her family's farm allowed me to pick a basket full. Some even made it into the basket. So I figured one of the key ingredients to this batch of slime would be locally grown and harvested strawberries. Gotta support you're local farmers.” She paused, “You'll also be glad to know that the gunge is a classic mixture. We only used cake batter, oil, eggs and applesauce. All ingredients were brought from Benton's own Potter Mercantile. I think that your families shop right?” She said, smiling a soft smile.
I felt my cheeks starting to heat up again. She was right, getting slime with ingredients that came from my family's shop and my best friends farm kind of did add another layer of embarrassment to the whole thing. And to respond to that, I could only muster a weak smile. And that's how my fishing adventure ended. With me standing in a gunge tank, covered in pastel pink, strawberry scented gunge, gunged once again by a regional celebrity and once more in front of the whole town. What a way I thought to kick off my summer holiday. What a way.
The End.
I took a deep breath as I peered out of the window of the car and onto the passing landscape. The hills were covered in snow and the glass was starting to fog from my hot breath. Autumn had come and gone and my older sister Lily some twenty months late had decided to finally take me out to the movies. I'd been in something of a melancholy mood all week. Sulking some would say, pouting others would say. Brooding was another word for it I guess.
It was funny, it was almost Christmas and the whole world seemed to be filled with so much joy, and yet all I could do was feel a sense of emptiness deep inside of me. My mom had of course noticed this, and had chalked it up to me going through some teenage phase. Dad figured it was a side effect of the hormones being pumped into me to transform me from being a boy to a girl. A transformation that while it was a resounding success was still an ongoing process.
I mean it was hard to believe that twenty months ago I'd been a shy, scared, and frightened boy named James Potter. In twenty months I'd somehow managed to turn my life around. Now five months shy of my sixteenth bird I appeared to be your average high school girl. No trace of me ever being a boy remained. Heck I'd even earned a place on the cheerleading squad.
“Hey, a penny for your thoughts?” My older sister Lily said as she shifted her eyes from the road toward me. “Cause by the looks of things girl, you're either composing a poem or you've fall into another one of your sulking spells.”
“Just thinking.” I said, sighing as I peered out at the snow covered hills. We'd been driving now for a good forty or so minutes. It was only twenty seven miles from Benton to Madison but the two lane road that connected the two was in need of repair and repaving. Plus one had to cross about a dozen bridges. And with Mississippi enduring a rare winter snow storm, Lily was taking it slow.
“About?” Lily pressed her attack.
“About being a girl, that's all.” I said, closing my eyes. “And about prom, about turning sixteen in a few months. About maybe getting married and having kids. You know, wondering if with me being what I am if Ben and I would ever get a normal life. You know two kids and a dog, a nice house and a white picket fence.”
Lily giggled a little as she shifted her gaze back toward the road.
“Take my advice. Don't think about that stuff. You're what, fifteen now? And about to celebrate your sixteenth birthday? Let me give you advice. You don't need to worry about that stuff. Your biggest concerns right now should be getting you diploma and trying to study for the ACT test. Trust me that test is going to wear you out. Three and a half hours of intense thinking.. man I'm glad I only took it once. Robin took the thing three times till she was happy with her score.” Lily said.
I nodded my head. Everything she was saying to me made sense. And it was sound advice. But right now it seemed like I was walking in a fog and no matter what direction I turned, I seemed to be going in the wrong direction. Other times it seemed I was going in the right direction, but the process was slow.
“I guess. I'm feeling a bit lost right now.”
“Sister, let me give you some advice. Nobody in the history of the world has ever figured out this life stuff. We just gotta live it each day you know. Taking the good with the bad, taking it in stride you know.”
At this moment Lily paused. Maybe to collect her thoughts before she decided to push on.
“I'm going to give you an example. Okay like a lot of people say you need to have your life figured out by time you finish high school. So you can get a degree in something that you love, have a long successful career and stuff. And for women it's like we gotta get married by the time we've finished college, we gotta have at least one kid nine months after the wedding and a second one nine months after the first one..” Lily's voice started to trail a bit. “It dumb really.”
I nodded my head a little going along with the cadence of Lily's voice. I could tell my older sister was starting to muse a little as she often did when we were alone. Lily was a fountain of sisterly wisdom. That was the major plus of being a girl, other girls would offer you advice on being a girl. I mean you had magazines that gave you relationship tips, tips on how to get a boyfriend, how to keep a boyfriend, how to apply make-up, what to wear, what not to wear. Guys kind of had to figure that stuff out on their own and often stumbled, tripped and fell doing so.
“I guess,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Since I'd discovered I was supposed to be Jamie instead of James, I've been dealing with stuff that really made me think. I mean, sure I'm a cheerleader and one of the popular kids at school. But lately I've been getting the cold shoulder from some of the guys at school. And some of the teachers are getting on my nerves too.” I said pausing.
“Like our new science teacher is very.. very.. fundamentalist. Like she went off the rails and ranted and raved for a good hour when she heard a rumor that there was a boy on the cheerleading squad. One of those silly freshmen had started that rumor.. I mean.... I don't know, she a steadfast Republican too..”
Lily blinked and blinked again.
“How in the world did you come across that bit of information?” She asked as she slowed down a little. Full darkness had fallen and the deer were out. In Mississippi its common for deer to commit ritual suicide by jumping in front of passing cars. Somehow the dark recesses of my mind conjured up the mental images of these deer warriors undertaking suicide missions by jumping in front of passing cars, much like a kamikaze pilot would.. In order to avenge their fallen brothers taken in the annual hunting seasons.
“She told us. Like her first day she boasted that she was a proud Republican and that she firmly believed in creation and that science supports creation.. and that if you believed in evolution you would not pass her class.” I added. “She also started to rail about the fact that our school had a token pagan and a transgender one at that.”
“Oh boy..” Lilly said with a long whistle. “She sounds like a character.”
“Oh wait it gets better. One day she was doing a uniform inspection. You know, making sure us girl's had not shortened the length of our skirts, making sure the boy's had their shirttails in and stuff. Anyway she ran across Cerridwen who had a few pins stuck to her school satchel. One of those happen the trans pride flag pin and another was the LGBTQ+ pin, and finally the last was one a pin of the Welsh Flag.”
“Okay the first two make sense considering your group of friends. But what with the Welsh Flag?”Lily asked. “And remind me who Cerridwen is?” She added as she sped up a little.
I decided to remind her who Cerridwen was first before going into further detail.
“Cerridwen, that petite raven haired girl that volunteered for the dunking booth the Halloween before last to help raise money for the anime club. She was the shy girl who showed up in the old Benton Academy Cheerleader's uniform. Her mom owns and runs Pandora's Family Hair Salon downtown.” I said before adding. “She is often seen hanging around mom and dad's shop. You know the girl that wears those really earthly colors, green, brown, and sometimes blue? Often wears a black cloak around her shoulders with a silver pentagram clasp.”
Lily blinked.
“Oh yes! Now I know who you're talking about. Cerridwen Whitethorn. Token Pagan in all Christian Academy, local green witch in training, mom runs the local Coven. Her dad work's shift work down at Yazoo Chemical while his wife runs a family business that she hopes to pass onto her daughter.” Lily said.
“Right. Anyway Mrs. Republican Science teacher wanted to know why she had a trans pride flag pin, pinned to her satchel and a LGBTQ+ flag pin too. And of course the Welsh flag since she is in America.” I said, taking a deep breath. “Now Cerridwen is something of a firecracker. And while she is a really sweet girl she can get really fired up. And sometimes her mouth can really run away with her.”
“Like a certain blonde hair, blue eyed girl I know.” Lily said, teasing a little. She was cruising along at a comfortable thirty five miles a hour. At that rate we should reach Madison just before the dinner hour. Which was good, considering Lily was taking me out to Bonsai Japanese Steak House, an hibachi restaurant that was a favorite of the family.
“Right!” I said blushing as Lily teased me. “Anyway, back to the story. Cerridwen just rolled her shoulders and in a casual manner explained to the teacher that she was a trans girl, thus the trans pride flag pin. She also informed the teacher that a few of the students of Benton Academy fell under the LGBTQ+ banner and she wore that pin to show them that she was a friend. And the Welsh flag was to show she was proud of her heritage as a Welsh-American. And that her name, Cerridwen was a name that was also found in Welsh mythology.”
Lily let out another long whistle.
“That should have been the end of that, you know. Mrs. Republican Science teacher could have moved on and left the whole thing alone. Instead she ordered Cerridwen to remove her pins. Because they broke some school rules. Cerridwen said that she would indeed remove them if the boy next to her removed his MAGA cap.”
“MAGA?” Lily asked, her eyes were firmly glued to the road. And I don't blame her, we'd just crossed into the outskirts of Madison. Already I was starting to notice an increase of traffic on the road.
“Make America Great Again..” I said my voice trailing a little.
“Oh..” Lily said. “I take it Mrs. Republican Science teacher blew a fuse when she heard that?” Lily added.
“She freaked out. She demanded that Cerridwen remove her pins and said she found nothing offensive about the cap. Cerridwen then refused saying and these are her words not mind. 'If some ding-bat from the trailer parks can wear a hate that offends me to the core, and is a symbol of hate that goes against everything I believe in. A hat that promotes nothing but hate.. then I feel I can wear my pins that tell the world that I accept people who are different and go against the grain.' Cerridwen can be eloquent when she wants to be. One reason why I believe she should run for student council.” I said. I then decided to add in the last juice bit of her retort. “I mean.. I kind of hope that one day I'm going to wake up and read on Twat Forty that orange face has returned home.. to the New York Zoo.”
Lily let out another long whistle.
“Boy she is a firecracker. But the girl has moxie. I like that.”
“Yep in the end Mrs. Republican Science teacher stormed away, saying she did not have time to swap words with kids. And Cerridwen got to keep her pins and the boy kept his MAGA hat. It's going to be fun watching those tie in to it next year when Cerridwen has to take her class. Cerridwen gets excellent grades in science so ya.”
“Next year's your Junior year right?”
“Yep and you're going to be a Senior I think?”
“Time sure is flying by.” Lily said and that was the last thing she really said. Halfway through our conversation we pasted a sign that read. “Madison” with the words “Corporation Limits” on bottom. We were officially in the township of Madison. And you could tell by the amount of traffic and the way people zoomed past us. I knew it would take all of Lily's skill and experience as a driver to navigate the often confusing maze of streets, dead ends, and side roads that made up the metro area. And I sat back as Lily did her best, swearing once or twice under her breath.
At first it seemed Lily had gotten herself hopelessly lost. But half an hour later we found ourselves standing in the parking lot of Bonsai Japanese Steak House. I could almost taste the fresh fried rice, grilled shrimp, steak, and Miso Soup.
End of Chapter One
Dinner was amazing. Fresh fried rice, grilled shrimp, grilled scallops, and even a grilled lobster tail. Both Lily and I love our seafood. And so we both ordered the house special, The Geisha Seafood Special. A huge meal that included fried rice, soup, salad, grilled shrimp, grilled scallops and a grilled lobster tail. I ordered double fried rice, because I just love the fried rice from here. And double soup. Lily ordered a double salad because according to her, she was watching her weight. I really think it's just because she is part rabbit.
I mean, I understand being a cheerleader you have to watch what you eat. But cheering is hard work, and it really takes a lot out of you. You need to keep some fuel in the tank if you're going to cheer your heart out. And rabbit food as me and my dad would say, just does not come close to cutting the mustard. And the show, let me tell you about the show.
Getting Hibachi is like going to a circus and getting a gourmet meal at the same time. The Chief does all these wonderful acrobats with his tools. And really neat tricks like tossing the eggs for the fried rice into the air and cracking them in mid flight. It's something alright and for a girl from the sticks like me, it's a real treat. You just can't experience things like that in rural Benton. Not that Benton's rural, it's more like a small, yet thriving village, that is on the verge of becoming a thriving city. But still the closest thing we have to Hibachi in Benton is Chinese One Buffet and Hibachi grill.
Oh and did I mention that everything is prepared table side too! So you know your food is going to be hot and fresh and it tastes amazing too. I've always admired the Japanese and since the age of twelve I've fallen in love with their culture. And of course, I love Japanese animation, often just called anime, and manga too. So my inner Japanophile side was on cloud nine the whole time. Anyway, once our food was fixed. Lily and I muttered a quick prayer, being hard boiled Episcopalian girls that we were neither of us would even consider sitting down to meal without saying the blessing.
Grace said, we attacked our piles of food before it started too cool. A peaceful silence fell between us. Halfway through the meal though the silence was broken. Broken of course by Lily.
“So.” She said between mouthfuls of fried rice. “Somebody is going to have a birthday soon. And a pretty big birthday too. A sweet sixteen birthday.” She said, smiling toward me.
I blushed a little and said nothing, I only kept shoveling that wonderfully seasoned and hot fried rice into my mouth. It felt like I was in heaven. I'd passed the first fifteen years of my life without really giving the anniversary of my birth much thought. Why should my sixteenth matter so much?
“Just another birthday and another day.” I said blushing.
“Oh don't be so cynical Jamie!” Lily scolded. “It's a huge milestone for you. The sixteenth birthday is a big deal for us girls. It marks the passage into womanhood. Like remember a year or so ago about when you were confirmed into Episcopal Church, again with your new name? Its like that.” She said smiling.
I blinked.
“Plus. It means something to me, I'm your older sister, and it means something to me. And plus your also my cheer-sister, that also means something to me.” Lily said blushing.
“Okay..” I paused and placed my fork down. “Then tell me what makes my sixteenth year of cursing this earth with my life so special?”
Lily rolled her eyes. And placed her own fork down.
“Okay first off, it means you've become a young woman. Second it means you can learn how to drive and you can get your learner's permit. And start driving on your own. As your older sister, I'll have a hand in helping you learn that skill. Just like I helped you learn how to dress like a girl, act like a girl and carry yourself like a girl, apply make-up, and plenty of other stuff.” She said smiling.
“Plus it means you'll be invited to the annual Debutante Ball held each spring at the Elk's Club. That's a big thing.” Lily said as she resumed attacking her rice, before pecking off a few fried shrimp and a few chunks of lobster.
“Debutante Ball?” I said blinking.
“Yep. The Potter Family is one of the oldest families in Benton. Not to brag or anything but along with a few other leading families we form something of the aristocracy of Benton. We can trace our lineage all the way back to the founding of the town. Heck Benton was once called Hannah's Landing and it was named after Hannah Potter and the first mayor of the town was her husband. William Potter, that is how we are connected to the Bell family in Vicksburg. Hannah maiden name was Hannah Bell before she married William Potter who was a pretty well to do merchant in Vicksburg.” Lily said, nodding her fork as she talked.
I blinked and blinked again.
“Okay then.. and what does all that gotta do with some fancy ball?”
“It's tradition. The oldest, wealthier families have always celebrated their daughters coming of age with a Debutante ball. And you get to invite all your friends, and their boyfriends too. And your cheerleading friends, you get to wear a fancy gown and get all pampered and just treated like a princess for a night. There is always plenty of food, plenty of music and it always makes the paper.” Lily added.
I nodded my head.
“Kind of reminds me of Homecoming.” I said blushing as I started to recall the events of that night. It was a magical night for me, one that really made me. I mean in one afternoon I went from being a shy little teenage boy named James, whom most of the world had forgotten to the shy, awkward, yet alluring younger sister of Lily Elizabeth Potter, the most popular girl in school.
“Its kind of like Homecoming, only a lot more formal. Like in Homecoming most guys could get away with wearing just a nice pair of slacks, a nice button down shirt, a tie, and a jacket. But here, all the guys are going to be suited up in tuxedos. At Homecoming most of the food was just causal food, I mean baked or broiled chicken parts, seasoned with I guess salt, pepper, and a dab of lemon juice. At the ball it's all super rich like a standing rib roast or something. At Homecoming, we had punch, pops and bottles of water. At this dance, its wine, ice cold champagne, and mineral water.” Lily said, before renewing her assault on the steaming pile of fried rice in front of her.
I nodded my head again and turned my attention toward my own mountain of fried rice.
“Don't worry kiddo.” Lily said, smiling. “Turning sixteen is again a big thing for us girls. It's like the age we can get married and learn how to drive. And all kinds of good stuff. And your birthday party will be a small private affair. Just mom, dad, I, and a few close friends. It means a lot for mom too. You'll understand when you have a daughter of your own someday.”
I dropped my fork and all eyes turned toward me. Swallowing my food I leaned over and whispered into Lily's ears.
“Lily..” I hissed. “You know I can't have children! You know I'm still recovering from that operation.” I said pointing with my index finger to my nether region.
Lily rolled her eyes.
“Oh stop being such a drama queen about that. I know plenty of girls that can't have children. And plenty of them were born females. Not every woman can carry a child and few can carry a child to full term. A lot of women lose their children in the birthing process.” Lily said as she finished off her fried rice and started to scoop up the last few shrimp and bits and pieces of lobster.
“Once you and Ben are married, and settled down. I'm sure you'll adopt a child. Even when you were a boy you had a very kind and caring side about you. Like you played with my old dolls and stuff and even tried to nurse one..” Lily said, blinking. “I think you saw something about breastfeeding on the Discovery Channel and you tried to mimic it. It was weird, I think that's when Mom and Dad first knew you were different.”
“.. LILY!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. The whole table then turned around and peered at me. At that very moment I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole. “You're embarrassing me!” I added in a slightly lower tone of voice.
“The older sister is supposed to embarrass the young one by bringing up stuff they did when they were younger. It's a sacred duty entrusted to all older sisters. One that we've been charged with since Eve bite into that apple in the garden.” Lily said, smiling a mirthless smile.
“Oh?” I said pouting as I started to pick the last few pieces of lobster from my plate. “And younger sisters have also been charged with a sacred duty, entrusted to us since the earth was formed from dust to pester the older sister and make her blush and such!” I said I would do my best to counter her teasing in my own way. I even tried to mimic her mirthless smile.
Lily closed her eyes.
“Lord.” Said closing her eyes. “I hope I get married before you. Because I see you being that little sister who makes my wedding the talk of the town. No telling what kind of trouble you'll get into. Going to scare my poor husband off before the honey moon girl.” She paused. “And I'll just find it amusing. Because if my future husband can't deal with your antics then how in the world can he deal with my future daughters' antics. Mischief you know runs in the Potter blood.”
“But yes, sixteen big. You can finally get to play Ariel in the yearly production of 'The Little Mermaid' since it's considered a pretty big role. Man I still remember twelve year old wanting to play Ariel. It was.. it was cute. And you were almost in tears when Mrs. Shoemaker had to break the news that boys could not play Ariel. Since it was a role only open for girls, and plus you were not old enough yet.”
I took a deep breath.
“I remember that. I kind of tried to block that out. I mean it was..” I paused. “I try not to remember anything that happen before I decided to become Jamie. As I consider those my wasted years.” I added with a hint of bitterness.
Lily closed her eyes and smiled a little.
“No Jamie, those were not wasted years. Those were your growing years. Something tells me you'd wrestled with being Jamie for a long time. A very long time. It was a personal struggle, one that you overcame with your own inner strength. Just remember a person's gender does not define them. A person's character is what defines them.”
And with that we finished our meal. Lily of course paid for everything and then we started toward the cinema.
I'll never stop being amazed at how urban Madison is when compared to Benton. It was an apples to oranges type of thing. The cinema we went to was located in one of the newer sections of town called “Highland Colony '' and it just took my breath away. The floors were marble; the employees all wore these velvet red suits with a row of big, brass buttons going down the middle. In the center there was a fountain that sprayed cool water in all directions. I felt like I was in New York City instead of semi rural Mississippi. I mean I felt like I should be wearing a formal gown instead of just my casual clothing.
“Jamie.” I heard my sister say as she peered over at me as she walked inside. “Try not to act like Susie Sally came to the city for the first time in her life.” And with that we strolled right on in.
End Chapter 2
The movie was amazing, the animation amazing, the story touching. In short 'From Up on Poppy Hill' made me nostalgic for a time I've never experienced. It was tinged with sadness, heartache, and the pains of growing up. A window into a world in transition. And like Mr. Hayao Miyazaki's movies it was sure to become a classic as the years rolled on by. Lily even found herself getting swept up in the story line, and that's pretty amazing since she has never been the biggest anime fan.
But then again she always enjoyed Studio Ghibli Films. Of course, during the movie we seemed to have cleaned out one popcorn machine. I'm always amazed how much popcorn my sister and I can consume in one hour and a half movie. Enough to fill the hull of the Mayflower I'm sure. With enough coke-cola to float the thing. That's on top of the huge meal we had before dinner. Once the movie had ended we decided to skip ice-cream and head straight home. We were stuffed to the gills and it was getting late. It was pushing ten when he finally hit the highway.
For a while we traveled in silence, each one of us reflecting on the events of the day. Then Lily broke the silence.
“Hey.” She said, taking a deep breath. “Sorry it took so long to make this happen. I know I promised you a movie date way back when you were a freshman. And here you are, halfway through your sophomore year. Hard to believe it's been nearly a year and a half now.” She said keeping her eyes on the road.
“Seems like only yesterday, but it also seems like a lifetime ago.” I said, peering out the window. “So much has happened. A lot of it was good, and a lot of it was bad. A lot of things happen, you know. I mean people have really started to accept me now.” I paused and placed my open palm on the window.
“A penny for your thoughts?” Lily said, smiling as she looked over.
“Just thinking about the future. I'm thinking about attending Holmes Community College once I finish at Benton Academy. I really feel this calling to be a nurse you know. And Holmes is close, it's also pretty friendly to people like me. And well a degree from there will not break the bank if you catch my drift.” I said trying to put all the confusing emotions I was feeling into words.
Lily nodded her head. I'm glad she had the good grace to just sit back and listen for a while.
“I also want to keep being a cheerleader. And a cheerleader scholarship could really help cover the bills. But I'm not sure how the other girls would feel about having somebody like me on the squad.” I said in a low tone of voice. “I mean the cheerleader's at Benton Academy accept me for who I am. And heck, Even Rebecca, that brunette girl that replaced Linda as co-captain and will be captain next year as even promised to make me co-captain.” I'm aware that I'm starting to ramble on here.
“Then you will be captain. And then you will decide on who will be your co-captain.” Lily said as she took a deep breath. “And really Jamie. I don't see a problem with it, you've put a lot of hard work into becoming the perfect cheerleader. We've pushed you hard, yes, but that's because we wanted you to succeed.” Lily paused. “I mean, you've pushed yourself too. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make her drink after all.”
“I guess.” I said, sighing a little. “Man being a girl is harder than I thought.” I said, taking a deep breath.
Lily only smiled.
“Living is hard.” She said after a moment of silence. “Always remember that Jamie. But like dad used to say 'When things get tough the tough get going' and if anything you're a pretty tough cookie.” She said smirking a little as she said that. “I mean, when life has knocked you down, you've gotten back up and kept on swigging. Even when we thought life had you down for the count, you got back up and kept on fighting. So I'm proud of you.”
I felt my tears starting to mist a little.
“But take my advice.” Lily said, taking a deep breath. “Don't rush things, I'm going to sound like mom a little now, but you're just fifteen. You have plenty of time to fall in love, get married, get a degree, go to dances. I know you've fallen head over heels in love with Ben. But just remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Just be sure if you're going to give your heart and soul to him. That he's the one. I know he was your first, but remember to keep the doors open.”
I shifted my gaze toward Lily and took a deep breath. Lily for the most part had only offered me bits and pieces of advice when it came to how I handled my boyfriend, his older sister on the other hand seemed to hover around us. Every time I went over to his house she would sit across from me, her arms folded across her chest and under her breast. I could tell she was watching me, heck she even had a rule how many times I could kiss the boy. I'm sure she'll skin and boil me alive if she ever found out that he and I had done the deed one night in a hayloft on the Brewer Farm.
“No.” Lily said as she looked over and saw the look I was giving her. “No, I'm not going to tell you how to handle your boyfriend. I'm just going to say this. At fifteen most girls have gone through some major breakups. I was fourteen when I had my first boyfriend and truly thought that he and I were going to get married one day in a big Episcopal Cathedral.” Lily paused. “We met at a church camp one summer. He attended St. Andrew's Episcopal School in Jackson where he was a star football player. And me, being the star, upcoming cheerleader at Benton Academy. It just seemed like we were meant for each other. We hung out a lot.. we texted each other everyday. I mean I got in so much trouble because I would check my phone for new text and get angry when he took more than a hour or so to respond to me. Looking back, it was toxic as hell.”
I nodded my head.
“In hindsight, I kind of knew it would have never worked out. One, we were just babies, fourteen is still really too young to date anybody.. and two, none of us had the emotional maturity to carry on. I mean yes Benton and Jackson are close, like what fifty miles or so apart? But that was it.” Lily paused, I knew she was trying to collect her thoughts. “It was like okay, here I am on Earth right, say Earth is Benton. And here he is on Mars, and Mars is Jackson. It would have never worked. Then one day I got a text from a girl. Well to make a long story short, the girl said that she was dating the boy and that I could keep my 'Country Ass' away from him or 'She was going to shave my ass bald and stuff my panties in her mouth' Jesus man.. I thought Jackson girls were more refined than that.” Lily said.
“She sounds like a real bitch.” I said, shrugging my shoulders.
“That one thing you need to learn Jamie. Some girls don't place nice, some girls love to spread rumors about a girl behind her back. They try to turn her friend's against her, they stalk her social media pages. And when confronted they shift the blame to the girl being stalked.” She said, sighing.
“I hope you never, ever encounter that. When I was a freshman the cheerleaders considered themselves the alpha's of the school's social hierarchy. The 'A' squad that the main group of girls that form the center of the cheerleader's squad were queens and they controlled everything. They controlled who got elected prom queen, who got elected homecoming queen, who got elected to the courts. And most of all they controlled who got on the squad or not. They often held 'Court' too.” Lily blinked. “A girl could be brought before 'The Court' as it was called for a number of crimes, getting above her place, being too cute, being too popular, or speaking out against the social norms. The 'A' squad was in these cases often judge, jury, and executioner.”
I nodded my head. When Lily started telling me these things, I often just sat back and listened. I considered them parables, parables that allowed me to view the world through the eyes of a woman. Stories that afford me a view into a world that up till a year or so ago had been hidden from me.
“Punishments were often kind of heavy handed. I know one girl got her braid cut off for talking to a cheerleader's boyfriend. Another girl got her head shaved because she refused to hand over the homecoming crown to the cheerleaders.” Lily paused again. “I saw things.”
“Wow,” I said. I was at a loss of words. I really was.
“That's why I started reforming the squad.. When I became captain I always did with 'The Court' system, I wanted the cheerleaders to become the spirit of the school, not lordly ladies that ruled over a fiefdom of serfs. But to become loving big sisters and elements of change. That is why I wanted Rebecca to take my place, I knew she would keep the ball rolling if you will. And when you become captain Jamie.” She looked over at me and gave me a loving look. “I want you to keep the ball rolling too, it's a work in progress. A battle to be waged, a battle that is often lost but the struggle must keep going on. So when you become captain I want you to groom somebody to take your place, to keep the struggle alive, so she can groom somebody and the cycle can keep going.”
I was really at a loss for words now.
“I know this is a lot to ask of you. But you're my little sister. I know I can entrust this mission to you. I've thought a lot about this little date we've been on. And I've been struggling to come to terms with the fact that I'll soon be leaving you, graduating from Benton Academy and going off to college. That I'll only see you on weekends.” I swear I saw a few salty tears rolling down Lily's eyes. “But I'm going there for you, I'm going to make time for your first prom, your first homecoming game as captain. Your graduation.. your first day of college. Cause you're my sister you know.”
I'm ashamed to say that at that moment I was lost for words. So I just sat there watching the world pass by. For most of my life, my older sister Lily had been just that. I never felt any warmth toward her. But when I became Jamie she became more to me than an older sister, she became my first best friend, Madeline became my second. She became my mentor, who often seemed to understand the struggles I was going through more than mom did. She became my teacher, teaching the finer points of being a girl and how to be social as a girl. It was Lily who showed me how to make a Facebook page and how to monitor it. Or how to make an Instagram account and how to best use it.
“I understand.” I said finally. “I'll do my best.”
“I know you will.” Lily said, clearing some of the tears from her eyes. “Love you.”
“Love you too.” I said.
“You're going to make us all very proud of you.” Lily said. “I know you are. Your a very special young lady Jamie Sarah Potter and I'm proud to have you as my little sister. I don't care what Joan says about you.”
And another chapter in my life comes to an end. Stick around, there's a lot more coming.
La Petite Mardi Gras: Part One
Pleasure Dies At the Stroke of Midnight
-1-
The antebellum south was steeped in tradition, some of those traditions vanished after the Civil War, some endured through the turbulent years that followed and are still carried on to this day. Among those traditions that started in antebellum Benton was the annual Carnival Ball that's hosted each Carnival by the aristocratic families of Benton. Chief among those are the Potter Family who were among the earliest settlers of the town.
Like most of the aristocratic families of the Yazoo Delta, the leading families of Benton tried to emulate the high culture of New Orleans, Vicksburg, and Natchez. It was such Carnival Balls that inspired our forefathers to host their own balls. At first each leading family would host their own ball, these private parties were often the highlight of the social season. But soon it became common practice for the leading families to pool together their money and host one ball. That's how “La Mardi Gras” came to be.
Over time though, the children of the leading families wanted their own ball, a more refined version of Prom and Homecoming if you will. In two thousand and one their wish was granted and “La Petite Mardi Gras” was formed. It soon became the premier social event of the season. In time it even managed to eclipse the older debutante ball that was held each summer.
All of these thoughts swirled through my head as I climbed the concrete steps that lead to the front door of the Elk's Club, A three story brick building that was located toward the end of Main street. Bright, yellow light poured forth from the windows to bathe the concrete sidewalks. As I reached the final step, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and once more I wondered if I was making the right choice.
You see my mom had been the one who insisted I attend, it had been her fancy footwork that secured me a much coveted invitation. She also insisted that this prove to be the antidote that would cure me of my melancholy. She also mentioned that she spoke to my boyfriend's mother and she had assured her that he would be there along with his older sister who had volunteered to chaperon the ball. She also said that since I was becoming a young lady in high southern society I should start conducting myself like a true southern belle and start attending such events.
Maybe that is why I paused in front of wooden doors. Did I really want to become a southern belle? Becoming Jamie had been easy enough, okay not easy but had been an adventure. Now that adventure was over, I had to live as Jamie each and every day of my life. It was like writing a novel, the first few adventures or misadventures of becoming Jamie had been just the opening chapter, the opening chapters in a long epic that was still being written. It was being written with each passing second, with each passing moment, with each passing hour, with each passing day, with each passing week, with each passing month, each passing year till at last my breathing would cease and I would pass on to either Heaven or Hell.
My life story was being written one sentence at a time, one paragraph at a time, one page at a time, and finally one chapter at a time. I took another deep breath and lifted my face toward the clear night sky. Oh I was going to make this work. Oh yes, I was going to make this work. I will become a southern belle, not because my mom wanted me too, but because I wanted too. And with that I pushed upon the wooden door and crossed the threshold of the doorway. And once I crossed that threshold I left the world I knew and crossed into a world of gale laughter, of loud music.
-2-
Carnival is cruel as it is beautiful. And I quickly noticed what this ball really was. One look around and you would notice young ladies and young gentlemen from all the towns leading families had gathered here tonight. Political deals would be made that night, alliances would be made and broken, insults would be made that would require the young gentleman of the town to take to the personal battlefield and trade licks back and forth with others to regain their honor. A girl could find herself blackballed or named prom queen tonight.
I forced myself to smile as I waded into the crowd. I'd only attended one formal dance before and that had been homecoming a year or so ago. I owned only a few formal gowns, most of those had been passed down to me from my older sister Lily Elizabeth Potter who was holding court around the punch bowl. I envied the way Lily seemed to glide at social events. She was the life of the party, and there dressed in a scarlet gown with her blonde hair hanging loose, her baby blue eyes shining in the light of the party, she reminded me of a queen. If my older sister was a queen, then I must be a princess. And if I was a princess I needed my prince.
Then the wooden door opened and there in the threshold stood my prince. His name was Benjamin Franklin Allen and he was my prince. He was my first in so many ways, he had been my first kiss as Jamie, my first crush as Jamie, my first true boyfriend to boot too and my first time in something else. I loved him to the moon and back, my heart skipped a beat as I saw him looking around the room. His brown hair was combed down the middle and slicked down. He wore nothing more than a clean pair of dust colored trousers, sturdy brown dress shoes, a white button down shirt, a well worn but clean navy coat and a matching blue tie. Simple as that was, to me appeared more dashing and handsome than any knight.
At his side stood his older sister Joan Rebecca Allen who was dressed in white strapless dress with a white shawl draped around her shoulders. She spotted me first and upon spotting me nudged Benjamin toward me, she soon followed of course.
“Ms. Potter.” She said bowing a little. “It is a pleasure to see you this evening. I'm told you will be my brother's partner for this fine celebration.” She said in a silky tone of voice. I knew it was an act. Joan was always very protective of her little brother. She always watched me like a hawk when I was around him. But I guess if I had a younger brother or sister I would do the same.
I nodded my head and smiled.
“Trust me, it's my pleasure to have such a fine, dashing, young gentleman such as Mr. Allen to partner for this evening.” I said turning on all the old world charm and wit I could muster. Joan blinked a few times and slowly closed her eyes. She then looked over at her brother.
“Benjamin, would please be a dear and fix Ms. Potter and I something to drink.” She then unhooked herself from his hold and stepped toward me. “And Ms. Potter I was hoping you would join me in a moment in the ladies powder room.”
Benjamin rolled his shoulders and nodded his head. And went on to carry out his task at hand. But before he went on he smiled at me and I smiled at him. Joan then walked past me, my eyes followed her as she weaved in and out of the crowd. I allowed her a good lead before I started to follow behind her. Kind of felt like a puppy as I trailed behind her.
Soon we reached the door that led to the powder room. Joan paused and motioned me to step inside. I did so and she soon followed. Once she was inside she paused and locked the door. Seeing Joan lock the door caused me to step into the center and raise an eyebrow, I quickly folded my arms across my chest and peered at her.
“Okay Joan whatsapp?” I said, deciding to cut to the chase.
“Nothing much, just wanted to talk to you.” She said smiling as she started to circle me. “I've decided on something Jamie Sarah Potter, something that I think you will approve of. Of course I had to get Lily's approval first.” She said, smirking.
“Oh?” I said I was a bit amused. “Please tell me what you've decided on, because right now and stop beating around the bush.” I said, lifting an eyebrow.
“I've decided since it's Carnival time. And since at the stroke of midnight tonight, all pleasure must die and we are to drag ourselves to confession tomorrow morning in preparation for Ash Wednesday. That you will be given free rein tonight. You may kiss my brother as many times as you wish. You can even take him to bed with you tonight. I want you to enjoy tonight Ms. Potter and revel in the magic of Carnival. But remember Carnival can be a cruel mistress.” She said smiling as she unlocked the door.
“Tonight will define the whole social season. The social machine of Benton is gearing up right now Ms. Potter, learn how to rein it in and the town and beyond will become your playground, your oyster if you will.” She said smiling as she pushed the door open. “Fail to control it. And you'll be eaten alive.” She said, smiling a wicked little smile.
“Joan.” I said blowing out a stream of hot air. “As anybody ever told you that you need to chill a bit. I mean I know you're a theater geek and all. But really, save the dramatics for the stage.” I said, rolling my eyes as I unfold my hands.
“Hey!” Joan said, smiling softly. “Having a theater geek for a friend can be a plus, you know. And beside your my cheer sister too and soon to be sister in law.” She said in a teasing tone of voice. “So I'm going to give a little advice. All the major roles are filled tonight. Ms. Brown will be here tonight. She uses these types of events to scout for new talent. Your going to have a birthday soon.” Joan paused and turned toward the mirror. “I suggest you use this chance to make a very good impression on her. You'll be old enough to play Aria soon in the yearly production of 'The Little Mermaid' and guess who would helping select the cast for that play.”
Its safe to say that at the mention of the yearly production of 'The Little Mermaid' that my curiosity was piqued. Joan must have sensed it and peered toward me with a knowing gaze. She smiled a little and nodded her head.
“That's right. I'm in charge of casting this year. And I have the perfect girl in mind for several leading parts.” She said, giving me a square gaze. “But only if that little girl respects my boundaries and keeps giving my little brother the respect he deserves.” She said with a smile as she walked over and unlocked the door. She then motioned for me to step outside.
“So little sister, go ahead and enjoy yourself. But remember pleasure dies at the stroke of midnight tonight.”
La Petite Mardi Gras: Part Two
The Crowning of Lily and Jamie Potter
-1-
As I walked across the crowded ballroom, I noticed how polished the wooden floor looked. I could tell somebody had poured out a mint to have the floor waxed and polished. I mean you could comb your hair in the reflection. All eyes turned toward me as I strolled across the floor toward the refreshment table. The Benton orchestra had paused in their playing for a moment. I collected my thoughts as my eyes fell on Ben who was drumming his fingers on a crystal cup of punch.
“Hey.” He said as he eased his cup down and strolled toward me. “Have a good talk with my sister.” He asked as he walked toward me. “I know she can be a bit overbearing at times. So just that, I'm her only brother and I guess she feels she needs to look after me.”
“It's cool.” I said, smiling toward him. “Lily is the same way with me, she likes to look out for me sometimes. Other times she lets me fall down. But yes, it was a nice little talk. We talked about girl stuff.” I said walking toward the punch bowl. Without thinking I picked up the ladle and poured myself a good measure of punch. Slowly I lifted the glass goblet to my lips and took a sip. I frowned, the punch was spiked. We southerners have a proud tradition of spiking the punch at such gatherings. It loosen the tongues.
“So.” Ben said, smiling a little as he moved toward me, he had drained his glass and was on his second one. “Would Ms. Potter honor me with a dance?” He said smiling, he then tossed back the rest of his drink.
I blinked and tossed back the rest of my drink. It was Mardi Gras after all. And with only four hours left till midnight that meant to me at least that pleasure was on life support. And some phantom hand was about to pull the plug on its life support.
“It would be my pleasure Mr. Allen.” I said feeling the spirits going to my head as my cheeks started to fill with color. I eased my glass down upon the table and filled it up again. “But first let me refresh myself.” I said smiling as I filled the fine crystal goblet with a fruity red punch. I took a deep breath and knocked my second or was it my third drink back. Only thing I know is my head started to spin around as I slipped my hand into the awaiting hand of Ben.
The next thing I knew was the whole world was starting to spin around me. The music, oh the music started to fill the air and the orchestra struck up lively tunes as the ladies of the village started to dance with fine gentlemen. Soon the sound of laughter started to fill the air as ladies exchanged mirthless jokes with each other, using their colorful fans to shield their whispering mouths.
As I was twirled around the dance floor, my mind flashed back to long hidden memories. I started to remember that when I was James, I used to take solace in roleplaying on online forums. I belonged to a dozen such roleplaying communities that were based on the popular farming simulation game “Harvest Moon” where I often made female characters. It was fun to escape into a world of pure imagination even for an afternoon. A world where I was a struggling farm girl, who was trying to rebuild a run down farm. One were I had friends, and one were I attended colorful festivals and won wonderful prizes. Or fished, mined, and explored hidden areas.
But then I became Jamie and my life did a complete one eighty. I now had a host of friends who were loyal to me, a loving boyfriend, a loving family and I found myself attending all the colorful festivals and celebrations that our small town hosted throughout the year. I was living my best life. And for a moment all the doubts, depression, and melancholy that had haunted my every step just seemed to vanish.
And so as I was twirled around, I felt myself being swept up in the magic of the moment. The music seemed to swirl around, I found myself swept up and carried away by its enchanting sound. I can't tell you how long Ben and I danced, for time seemed to have no meaning. In fact, I would go as far as to say this, that time seemed to just slip through our hands. Then as quickly as it started it stopped. The music just stopped and a hushed silence fell over the crowded as a tiny man with a shiny bald head stepped into the crowd. He was dressed in a military like uniform, a scarlet jacket, one that had a row of brass buttons running down the middle and two golden epaulets one on each shoulder and form fitting white trousers. Following behind him were a troop of six men, they too wore the same military like uniform only without the golden epaulets.
The group marched toward the far side of the room and then the man with the tiny bald spoke, and when he spoke his voice filled the room and echoed off the walls.
“By royal decree of his lordship, Lord Rex of Benton.” The man started. “I've come to inform ye happy crowds that the following maiden has been chosen to be crowned Queen of Carnival.” He said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a rolled up sheet of parchment. He unrolled the sheet, held it in front of him, cleared his throat and in another loud booming tone of voice called out.
“By royal decree of his lordship, Lord Rex of Benton, and with the approval of the courts of all provinces that fall within his domain. And with the power invested in him by the council of krewe's. Its our pleasure to inform the gathered citizens of Benton that Lily Elizabeth Potter has been named Queen of this Year's Carnival.”
The gathered crows expressed their approval by a loud round of applause. A moment later I saw my sister step out from the crowd. With her back straight back she strolled toward the little man and bowed toward him. The man nodded and made a motion for another man who was dressed in a similar manner to come out. The man held with both hands a velvet pillow. Sitting upon the pillow was a crown of gold. The bald man reached over and took hold of the crown and gently placed it upon my sister's head.
“Behold the queen of the Carnival!” He shouted as he watched Lily rise up. “Now, also by royal decree of her ladyship, Lady Muse of Benton.” The man said again as he reached into his coat and pulled out another sheet of rolled up parchment, “By royal decree of her ladyship, Lady Muse of Benton, and with the approval of the courts of all provinces that fall within her domain. And the power invested in her by the council of krewe's. It's our pleasure to inform ye gathered citizens of Benton that Jamie Sarah Potter has been named Princess of this Year's Carnival!”
I felt my jaw drop open. I looked around and all eyes had turned toward me. I felt my face flush with color as I marched toward the front to join my sister. The bald man made a jester with his hands and another man produced a beautiful rhinestone tiara. The man took the tiara and handed it to Lily.
“As is tradition. The Queen of the Carnival, shall crown the Princess of the Carnival and then both shall select one young gentleman of the village, for the royal dance. This dance shall close Carnival, and usher in the death of pleasure. Midnight is close at hand.” The man proclaimed. “We shall now crown our Carnival King and Prince. Whom shall share the last dance of Carnival with the Queen and the Princess. The King with the Queen and the Prince with the Princess.”
At this moment I can't tell you what I felt, my heart felt light as a feather as I approached the stage and bowed down in front of my sister. Smiling, she reached over and picked up the rhinestone tiara and gently placed it upon my head. This was the second time I'd been crowned princess, the first had been at homecoming a year ago. I still remembered that night, it was one of pure magic and it seemed that tonight would be the same. Once the tiara was placed firmly on my head I stepped aside and stood next to my sister.
“Its with great pleasure, that the council of krewe's supported by Lord Rex of Benton, inform ye gathered crowds that we've seen it fit to name.” He called out. It seemed no paper was required for the naming of the king. Instead the man seemed spouting all of this from the top of his head. “Robert John Shoemaker, King of Carnival!” He shouted at the top of his lungs and once more his loud voice seemed to echo off the walls. A roaring applause filled the room as a young man with short black hair and the prettiest baby blue eyes I've ever seen stepped up and received the crown.
Once the crown had been placed upon his head he stepped back and joined my sister and I. I could tell Lily was enchanted by him because she couldn't take her eyes off of him. In fact, I'll go as far as to say she was mentally undressing him with her eyes. I could only roll my eyes, I rolled my eyes for one reason and one reason only, Lily often scolded me for being something of a boy crazy teenage girl. But here she was, looking like a moonstruck calf in front of the whole town.
“Now, for the Prince of Carnival.” The man said. “Its Its with great esteemed pleasure, that we the council of krewe's support by Lady Muse of Benton, inform ye gathered crowds that we've seen it fit to name.” He paused for dramatic effect. “Benjamin Franklin Allen Prince of Carnival!” He shouted and the crowd burst into a loud applause.
Now it was my turn to look like a moonstruck calf. My eyes fell upon the willow frame of Benjamin as he moved through the crowd. He had the good graces to blush and act bashful, as received the crown and walked up beside me. I took a deep breath and peered toward the heavens. I then breathed a silent prayer, it seemed somebody up there had seen it fit to bless tonight. Because tonight I was living, I was living the harvest moon dream.
“Ladies and gentleman.” The man with the shiny bald head called out once more in his loud booming voice, that once more seemed to fill the whole room and echo off the walls. “Its with great pleasure that we give you the Royal Count of the Carnival.” He said, stepping aside as he pointed toward us four.
“Now as tradition.” He said, taking a deep breath. “The king shall dance with the queen, and the prince with the princess and when their dance ends. Pleasure would have passed sadly into the shadows and we will usher in the season of Lent.”
A moment later the music resumed and Benjamin walked up to me, I smiled and he returned my smile with one of his own. He then held out his hand and I slipped my hand into his and without a second thought he guided me onto the dance floor. For one last day, one last day before the start of Lent. For Pleasure was to die at the stroke of midnight it seemed.
La Petite Mardi Gras: Part Three
A kiss ushers in the season of Lent
The crowds parted like the red sea as Ben ushered me onto the dance floor. The orchestra struck up a gentle waltz and slowly I wrapped my arms around Ben's shoulders as he wrapped his arms gently around my waist. This was the second dance we shared, and memories of our first dance at homecoming started to flood into me as we started to move across the polished floor. The lights started to dim and soon others joined in the dance, the last dance of the season, the last fleeting moments of pleasure before all the church bells in town would toll the death of pleasure and call the faithful to prayer and penance.
“Jamie.” Ben whispered as he held me tight. “It's been fun.” He said as he pulled me closer to him. I found myself turning to jelly in his tight embrace. I could feel every muscle in his arm starting to wrap tightly around me. It was such a warming embrace. It made me blush. It also caused me to crave his touch once more. A powerful desire to take him and hold him and to ride him overcame me. I quickly pushed those thoughts from my head. Not tonight, maybe another night.
“Its only getting started.” I said smiling as pulled my face away from his shoulder. “Valentine's Day just around the corner.” I said with a giggle.
“Of course.” He said smiling as we danced a little. “You know I'm so glad you're here with me right now. I thought I was going to lose you, you know a few months ago. So glad you pulled through, your really strong.” He said as he wrapped his arms tighter around me. Instead of fighting the embrace. I leaned into it. A happy sigh escaped my lips.
“Lets not talk about that.” I said at last. “I want to focus on our future together. That was scary yes, but you never left my side. And that showed me that you really cared about me.” I said choosing my words with care. I'm normally prone to putting my foot in my mouth if you will, but right now, I found myself thinking over my words before I spoke them.
“Okay.” He said smiling as he wrapped his arms a little more tightly around me. “And of course I care about you. You were cherry.” He said in a low whispered tone voice. “You were my first.”
I felt my cheeks flush with color. It was romantic in its own way, and once more memories of that night started to flood into my mind. I don't remember much, just a sense of giggling anticipation as we climbed the ladder to the hayloft and then bliss. Pure bliss, all the colors of the rainbow seemed to swirl around us. All my senses were heightened and every touch seemed to send shockwaves through my body. At the height of it, our very souls seemed to fuse together and become on.
“Hey, you were my first too.” I said giggling a little.
“We should do that again sometimes.” He said, giving me a little smirk that caused me to giggle. I wanted to do it again, I really did, but I was just saving it, saving it for a moment that seemed right. Saving it for the right time. I thought about sweet talking him into tonight, but it seemed off, like I would rushing things. All I wanted was to be held by him, held tight by him.
“Sometimes. But not tonight. Let's just cuddle and kiss tonight.” I said blushing as I stood up on my tip of my toes to plant a kiss on his lips. Ben then leaned down and a moment later our lips touched and interlocked. And then the real fireworks started.
Colors bloomed before my eyes, sparks of passion ran through my body, my body seemed to become ridged and still and my breathing shallow as we locked lips and kissed. It was the kind of kiss you see all to often in teen movies, the kind of kiss that takes your breath away and leaves you wanting more, yes the kind of kiss that leaves you wanting more, the kind of kiss that makes you forget about yourself for a moment, the kind of kiss that makes you want to dive head first into a sea of lust.
It was the kind of kiss that made me want to pull that dress over my head, drop my bra, lower my panties and mount that boy and ride him long and hard. Thankfully we were in a crowded ballroom, because I'm sure if we'd been along I'd given into that powerful temptation. Lust is one hell of a drug I tell you what my friends.
“GET A ROOM YOU TOO!” Two voices cried in unison. “JAMIE SARAH POTTER,” The first voice cried out in a loud booming tone that echoed across the room. “BENJAMIN FRANKLIN ALLEN!” The second voice cried out. And well that stopped our kissing cold.
A moment later, Ben and I pulled apart and both of us started to blush as all eyes had focused on us. A good number of old church ladies were whispering behind paper fans. No doubt shocked beyond belief at the loose display of morals being displayed in front of the. The sight of the ladies whispering behind their paper fans caused me to blush, my blush only deepened when Lily and Joan came rushing up to us. It seemed it had been those two who had called our names out.
“What in the world!” Bellowed Lily. “Jamie, mom raised you better than that!” Lily scolded. “A kiss is one thing, but you were eating that poor boy's face. I heard you groaning and moaning all across the room. Mercy girl, have a little self control.”
“And you Benjamin Franklin Allen.” Joan chimed in. “You were eating the poor girl's face. I mean Jamie has to breathe too! And you were groaning and moaning up a storm. Jesus, get a room for you two.” Joan said with a roll of her eyes. “On second thought, don't get a room, there is a broom closet right over there.” She said hitching up her arm and pointing with her small index finger toward a small closet that was tucked into the corner of the room.
“Joan!” Lily said with a sigh. “Don't give my little sister any ideas..”
“That's the problem.” Joan said with a smirk. “She is your little sister, and the apple never falls far from the tree. You forget that your dad and my dad are best friends. And I've heard plenty of stories about the stunts your dad and his brother got up to growing up.” Still smirking, Joan peered toward Lily with a look that made my blood run cold. “And I've been your friend since middle school too, I know a thing or two about you.” She added.
“OKAY!” Lily hooted as turned around and folded her arms across her chest. “That's enough! Jamie Sarah Potter, I expect a little more self control from you in the future young lady.” She said, turning her head around and peering over her shoulder. “One more stunt like that, and I can promise you, I will turn you over my knee, flip your dress and petticoat and tan that bottom of yours. And don't pout, I'm your older sister, I have that right.” Lily threatened as she started to stalk away.
“And Benjamin Franklin Allen.” Joan said as she peered toward Ben. “Try to control yourself too. And remember, you gotta give Jamie a chance to breathe. Just have fun, and have a good time. But don't get too carried away. And if you get carried away, please guys, go somewhere private.” And with that Joan floated away.
In the aftermath of that little outburst, Ben and I could do nothing but stand there. I felt totally embarrassed both for letting my emotions get the best of me and for getting called out like that by my older sister. Ben on the other hand seemed prideful and wore a smirk on his face. Slowly he turned around and winked at me before saying.
“So, round two in the broom closet?” He said in a teasing tone of voice. “Or want to get some sweet revenge and go hog wild in Joan's bed?” He suggested with a wicked grin upon his face.
I had to blink at that, part of wanting to know what in the world was going through that boy's head at this very moment. First he was suggesting a broom closet and now he was suggesting that he and I do the deed in his big sisters bed, in her bedroom. I mean I have a twisted sense of humor too. But lord have mercy, Joan would have a running duck fit if she found out. Heck she might even burn her sheets if we got too wild. I'm not going to lie a wicked little smile formed upon my lips as the mental image of Joan raging her little head off as she stripped her sheets and tossed them into a furnace entered into my head.
And yes, that little devil girl that normally sits on the right side of my shoulder started whispering sweet words of encouragement. The angel that normally sits on the left side of my shoulder started to scold me and lecture, saying that I should be ashamed of myself for even entertaining such ideas. In the end the voice of that little white robed angel won out and silenced the devil. Its a shame too, sometimes that little sexy clad devil Jamie has some really fun and neat ideas. Maybe I should start taking note of what she says instead of the white robed Jamie with the flickering halo above her head.
“Maybe another time. Besides, I don't want to get in trouble with my future sister-in-law yet.” I said, sighing. “Maybe we could do that on prom night or something.” I suggested.
“Well. How about this.” Ben said, still smirking. “Since we can't kiss here on the ballroom floor. Why don't you follow me upstairs? There are a number of balconies up stairs, we can see all of Benton from up there. And it would be romantic. I can't think of a better way to usher in the start of Lent than kissing you once more under the starry heavens.” Ben said as he leaned over and whispered those words into my ears. They made me shiver. The idea was so romantic that before I could help myself. I started to blush.
“That sounds fun.” I said blushing as I leaned in. “But I want to kiss you once more here.” And with that we kissed. I'm not sure how long we kissed, but all around us others were kissing too. Even Lily and Joan. Then it happened, the big brass bells of All Saints Catholic Church started to ring and soon the brass bells of St. Mary's Episcopal Church joined in. And before long all the church bells started to chime. The party was over, Carnival was over, now the season of Lent had begun.
“A kiss ushers in Lent.” Ben said, smiling as he peered down at me. “Ms. Potter, one day, I promise you, I'll make you Mrs. Allen.” He said with the most handsome of smiles. Looking at that smile made my heart jump into my throat and caused me to feel choked. It only lasted a moment though.
“Jamie Sarah Allen.” I said, smiling sweetly. “I like the sound of that. Just don't make me wait too long.” And with that another chapter in my life comes to an end. It seemed I was keeping my word after all. I was doing my best to give Jamie the best possible life she could ever have. A life that was totally different from the life James had lived. And yet a small part of me had to wonder, where would my life have been if I'd never discovered Jamie? I guess something will remain a mystery forever.
But stick around, there is more to come.
St. Valentine's Day is supposed to be one of the most romantic holidays in the year. Its a day set aside to celebrate love in all its forms. It's also one of the most depressing days of the year. Before I became Jamie, St. Valentine's Day was just another day. Another day in the three hundred sixty five days that make up a year. But when I became Jamie, the day took on a whole new meaning for me.
A few days before Valentine's Day, my boyfriend Benjamin Franklin Allen asked me out. He had somehow secured a table for two at Coleman's Steakhouse, the premier steakhouse of our small village of Benton and one of the finest restaurants in town. And so began another adventure in the ongoing adventure that was daily life.
The reflection that greeted me in the mirror of my bedroom vanity was one of a budding young woman. One with shoulder length blonde hair and baby blue eyes. One who had applied the right amount of make-up and seemed to have at last mastered that most basic of skills. A young woman sporting a new pair of fake diamond stud earrings in her years and one who was dressed to impress in a simple black cocktail dress. A woman who was posed to bust open and spread her wings.
That reflection of course belonged to me. Jamie Sarah Potter. Who had just been invited out for the first time on St. Valentine's Day. A young woman posed to become a young lady. That's what I considered myself, now if only I could believe that.
“Wow.” A voice called from my bedroom door. “Looking good little sister.” The voice belonged to my big sister Lily Elizabeth Potter who was a good year older than me and was both my mentor and my teacher. “I almost had to do a double take when I passed by. I mean I know you can clean up when you want too. But this is taking it to another level all together.” She said, stepping into my room.
“I mean, the way you look now, it's hard to believe you were ever a guy in the first place. We just need to get your room fixed up and you'll be set.” Lily said as she eased her bottom down upon my bed. “So, how you feeling?”
“I'm a little nervous.” I said as I shifted my bottom around in my chair and turned toward Lily. “I mean, yes we've been dating for a while now, and we've gone on plenty of dates. But those were.. those dates were with Madeline and Matthew. Group dates you know, and we do some fun stuff, like going on nature hikes, going swimming at the watering hole, going fishing, going ghost hunting, and camping.” I said as I tried to explain myself.
“I get it. This is your first real big date.” Lily said, smiling a little. “This is the first time you two are alone. It's a big step in the right direction if you ask me. I mean you two have been together for like a year or so now. I believe you two started dating right after homecoming. Anyway, I'm happy for you.” Lily said, reaching over and picking up one of the many stuffed animals that had come to call my bed home. She pulled the stuffed animal close to her chest and heaved a sigh.
“My little sister's growing up so fast.” She said, ``Kind of makes me feel old.”
“Right.” I said, rolling my eyes as I turned around and once more I started to touch up my make-up. I wanted to make sure everything was perfect. “You know, you kind of helped me.” I paused to collect my thoughts. “You making me volunteer for that little stunt at homecoming really helped me finally flip a mental switch you know.”
Lily pulled the stuffed animal, a stuffed rabbit a little closer to her body and peered toward me. She tilted her head to the side. I could tell the gears inside her head were starting to turn a little. I gotta give Lily credit though. Since coming out as her little sister, she has really accepted me. Instead of pushing me away, she embraced me. And it was not just Lily, it was my whole family. My whole family seemed to just accept me for who I was. And so as I peered toward Lily, trying to figure out the meaning of my words I started to pray a silent prayer of thanksgiving. Many people in my shoes had it far worse than me.
“I mean think about it. If you've never asked me to volunteer to play the hostage as part of our school's weird tradition. Then I would have never had to dress up as your little sister. And me dressing up as your little sister and putting on that little act made things kind of slide into place with me.”
“Jamie.” Lily said as she gently set the stuffed rabbit down. After a moment's pause she decided to place it back where I had it, right with the other stuffed animals I've started to collect. I think I had a good five or six at this point? Like half my bed was taken up with them. “Do me a favor, stop thinking about the past all the time. Live for the future okay? Stop trying to all Aristotle on yourself.” She said as she lifted her bottom up from the bed.
I blinked.
“Enjoy tonight okay? You look amazing and I'm sure you're going to turn a few heads. Just try not to stop overthinking things and go with the flow.” Lily then turned around and sighed. “Jesus, I feel like sometimes I'm your mother. Mom should be the one giving you this little talk, not me.” She said, flipping her hair to the side.
“Where is mom? I've not seen her all afternoon..” I asked. Hoping to well change the subject.
“Dad's taking mom out on a date. I think dad got tickets to some magic show in Vicksburg. Dad also rented a hotel room.. so I know they're planning to spend at least a night, maybe two. That means you and I gotta watch the house.. and maybe the shop, I don't know about the shop. Dad said something about Kayla watching the shop for them. You know Kayla's first job was working with grandfather and grandmother down at the shop.” Lily said as she shook her head.
“It's not like I had a date or anything.” Lily said.
“Oh quite you're lying.” I said, smirking. “I know you have a date.” I leaned over and poked Lily in the side. “In fact, I know you have a cute boy hiding out in the bushes, your just waiting for me to leave, so you can smuggle him into the house and enjoy a little bit of private play time. Am I right?” I said in a teasing tone of voice.
Lily blinked.
“Jamie.” She started. “I don't ask questions about what you and your boyfriend do when you two are a long. So don't ask questions about what I do with the various boys I date.” Lily turned away and pouted. “I mean, with so many cute guys to choose from. A girl can't just settle on one. I'm not like you Jamie, I need a little bit of variety in my life.” She said pouting as she turned away.
“...” I was at a loss for words.
“And besides, all the boys I date know that little trait about that. And most of them are just flattered to dating a cheerleader and are okay with being just one dish on a buffet. And just like going to a buffet you sample a dish and you move on to the next dish. And like a buffet some dishes are just going to be your all time favorite, others are going to so-so, others are going to bland as hell. And others are going to give you food poisoning.”
I was still at a loss for words. While I welcome any and all chances I get to sit down and talk with my older sister. There were some conversations I kind of wish we could steer away from. And this was one conversation that I really wanted to steer away from. Like I wanted to throw my hands into the air and shout really loud and hope that Lily would get the message. That message being that I did not want to hear about her personal lust demons.
“But that Karate guy I'm dating now is going to be a keeper. I mean I swear he can bend like a rubber band and hit all the right spots. And his stamina is out of this world. Me being a cheerleader and him being a black-belt it's like a match made in heaven. I swear I'm going to keep him around. And I really want him to put a ring on my fingers.” Lily said with a sigh. “And yes, he's coming over tonight too. And if you walk by my bedroom and you see a sock on the door, don't enter unless you want to your bottom popped.”
I felt a shiver run down my spine.
“Oh..” was all I could say.
“So yes, my plans for the evening.” Lily said, blushing a little. “See, I have a social life too, you know.”
I was about to put my foot in my mouth when my phone started to buzz. A message popped up on the screen showing that I had a new text from Ben. Whom I'd entered as “Boyfriend” in contacts. The text informed me that he was leaving his house now and he'll be at my house in about ten too twenty minutes. Lily must have seen the smile that had formed upon my lips as I read the text.
“I assume that lover boy just sent you a text message?” Lily inquired.
“Yep!” I said, smiling a big old smile. “He's on his way now. He said he'll be here in about ten too twenty minutes.” I said standing up from my bedroom vanity chair. Once I was standing up I decided to leave my room all together and I motioned Lily to follow me out. Which she did, of course.
“Cool. So got everything together?” Lily asked as we started down the stairs together.
“Yep! I just cleaned out and restocked my purse too!” I chimed.
“So your phone's fully charged? You have some breath mints? A little make-up kit for those touch ups? Pepper Spray? Spare cash? Inhaler?” Lily asked as she held out a finger as she named off each item.
“Yep! And you forgot house keys!” I said with a bit of cheek, that earned me a quick swat to the bottom that was followed by a quick hug.
“Well.” Lily said, smiling sweetly. “Seems like you have everything under control. So go ahead, have a good time and make good choices, and remember the doors are locked. So just let yourself in.” And then after a moment she added. “Also remember if you see a sock hanging on my bedroom door, just keep walking okay?”
“Gotta.” I said, nodding my head. And with that I picked up my purse and headed out the door. Ben was already waiting for me at the end of the driveway. He was looking as handsome as ever in his dust colored slacks, white button down shirt, and blue sports coat. His hair slicked back and parted down the middle. He gave me a smile that sent me over the moon as he opened the door for me and I slipped right on end. Once I was inside he closed the door and a moment later he was slipping into the drivers side. I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
He smiled at the kiss, threw the car into drive and then I knew our date was on. As he pulled away from the curb, I wondered for a moment what magic moments we would share tonight? Would tonight be pure bliss? Would this be the night that he and I do it again? Would this be the night that seals the deal, the night that finally makes up my mind that I want to spend the rest of my days with him? Or would something go wrong tonight? So many questions, so many possibilities and so many questions. And the only way to find the answer to those questions was to live tonight one moment at a time.
Coleman's Steakhouse was a small little restaurant that was located at the far end of Main Street. Beside it one would find Benton Laundromat and across from it one would find Benton Auto Glass Works. Many people in town considered it a hidden treasure, unlike the newest steakhouse in town, The Cow Pen Jr. Located out on the highway this one was located in the heart of Benton. Many in town considered The Cow Pen Jr. a place for tourists to go too.
And yes, Benton, despite its small size, gets a good bit of tourists each year, people from out of state who come down wanting to explore the deep south and learn more about this forgotten part of America. Some are Blue's Historians who want to learn about local Blue's Musicians, others are Civil War historians who are touring battlefields and want to explore the old battlefields that lay scattered about. Including the one north of town. And others are seasonal deer hunters who come down and hunt trophy deer and then return. Those types of people flock to The Cow Pen Jr. But the local's tend to stick to Coleman's Steakhouse.
Coleman's is small too, it's nice and cozy and above all it's a family business. Johnny Coleman, the owner for example is the main cook, his son Noah Coleman helps him in the kitchen. His wife Joanna Coleman is the hostess and main waitress, her daughter Cindy Coleman helps her mom wait tables too. The Coleman's are a very civic minded family too, there a firm support of Benton Academy, which both their children attend. Cindy being a year ahead of me, she also a cheerleader. And thus a “Cheer Sister” to me, once a girl becomes a cheerleader she becomes part of a large sisterhood, and often or not we call each other “Cheer Sisters” its just one of those small town things I guess. Noah Coleman is also on the Football team and is a mentor to Ben. And last but not least Johnny Coleman cooks the traditional meal of steak and bake potato that always served to the football team before homecoming. And always given to the two hostages.
Anyway, the drive from my house to Coleman's only took around fifteen minutes. I wanted to joke with Ben and say we could have saved him a little gas money and taken the trolley, since the trolley ran right by the restaurant. The trolley stopped at the bottom of main street where the trolley barn was located. Short of a brick and tin shed. Like I said I wanted to joke, but there was something romantic about riding along with Ben in his borrowed car. And so I decided to keep my jokes to myself and enjoy the ride.
“Good evening!” A brunette girl around my age called out to us as we entered the waiting area of Coleman's Steakhouse. The air inside was nice and warm. The girl paused and then smiled a little. “Oh Jamie!” She said blushing as she walked over and threw her arms around my neck. “You look good there girl! I mean, I know you can clean up nice and all, but man you can really clean up!” She said smiling as she released me from the hug and stepped back.
“My brother from another mother!” Called out a guy who also had brown hair. He was tall, almost as tall as Ben and had the lean build of a runner. The guy walked up to Ben and the two did some kind of hand jester. You know the things guys do when they bump each other fist and slap the side of each other's hand. I mean even though I was once a guy, I never really understood the whole guy ritual greeting thing. It always seemed so strange to me.
“So!” The guy called out. “What brings you two here?” He said, I now noticed he was dress in a white t shirt and a pair of fading blue jeans. A black apron was tied around his waist. The front of the apron seemed to be fading and was stained beyond repair.
“Oh!” The brunette girl cried out. “You mentioned something about a date! Totally romantic, we're running a special tonight. We call it steak for two. For like fifty dollars, you two steaks, like it's our special in house cut, and all of our meats USDA Choice or higher so it's like melt in your mouth tender. Plus house salad, and your two choices of sides. And a desert to share. Tonight's desert is our special pecan cobbler. It's like peach cobbler only with pecans instead of peaches. Think like pecan pie without the bottom.”
“Totally, we have some of the best steaks in town.” Noah said with a smile. “Our meat comes from local sources. We buy our meat on the hoof from Brewer Farms.” He added. “Kayla raises the finest heads of cattle in Mississippi.”
I watched with some amusement as Noah punched my date in the arms and whispered something into his ears that caused him to give Noah a playful shove. Since becoming a girl, I'd find myself entertained by such antics. Noah returned the playful shove with one of his own and soon the two were trading blows, playful blows. My amusement had turned to embarrassment at this point.
“Anyway.” Cindy said. “Noah I think you need to get back to the kitchen. And I need to seat our guest.” Cindy then winked at me. “Also I love the dress girl. You look amazing.” She then picked up two menus and motioned for Ben and I to follow behind her. Ben turned to me and smiled and I felt myself starting to flush the truth be known I relished any attention he gave me. And that smile was worth a million dollars.
Anyway we followed closely behind Cindy as she guided us through the narrow maze of tables and chairs, the place was standing room only and I considered it a miracle that Ben had even managed to secure us a table on what must have been the busiest night of the year. We soon reached our table, a small, cozy one located in the far back.
“Here you go.” Cindy said as she sat the menu's down upon the table. “As you know my name is Cindy and I'll take your order this evening. So what can I get for y'all?” She asked as she reached down and pulled out a yellow note pad and a pen.
“Coke for me.” I said without thinking.
“Same.” Chimed in.
“Okay we have two coca-colas.” Cindy said.
“And the Valentine's Day special.” Ben said.
“Excellent choice.” Cindy said with a small smile. “And one more question, what type of dressing would you like with your salad. All our meals come with a house salad.” She asked.
“Not really a big salad fan, can I swap it for an extra roll or something?” Ben asked.
“Of course,” Cindy answered.
“Same, not really a big fan of rabbit food. My sister is, though, I think she is part rabbit.” I said a smile, at that both Cindy and Ben had a little laugh. That was a little inside cheer joke among my cheer sisters that my older sister was part rabbit due to her love of salads of all kinds.
“Okay!” Cindy said as she finished writing all this down on her yellow notepad. “I'll put this order in real quick and it should be out in a flash. We're just getting the grill fired up.” With that being said she collected our menus and started to go but not before calling over her shoulder. “Just give me a holler if you two love birds need anything.”
Ben rolled his eyes and I blushed, but then we both shared a giggle. A few minutes of silence passed before Cindy returned with our drinks, two bubbling glasses of coke-cola, the beverage of choice in the south. I'm not lying when I say that, it seems we southerners take in coca-cola as soon as we can, often taking it in alongside our mothers milk.
“You know, this is really our first date alone.” Ben said as he took a sip from his glass. “Normally, Madeline and Matthew would be with us.” He added.
I nodded my head and a sip of my drink.
“I like our group dates.” I said finally after collecting my thoughts. “I like hanging around the bonfire too, roasting marshmallows and hot dogs and stuff. But sometimes I want to be with you. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have so many friends. But, sometimes I just want to along with you.” I said smiling as I eased my drink down.
“Same.” Ben as he peered across the table at me. “It's like, when were alone. I'm reminded how beautiful you look. I'm reminded of that of that beautiful girl that took my breath away at homecoming.” He added. “I'm reminded of that beautiful soul that stood up for what she believed in.” He paused and took another sip of his drink. “I'm just reminded of what made me fall in love with you.”
I felt my cheeks flush with color as I peered toward across the table and into Ben's eyes. I felt myself once more becoming lost, lost like somebody who's stumbled into a maze, a maze that one could not escape. A wonderful maze. Okay I'm rambling on, but my point still stands, the more I peered into Ben's eyes, the more I pondered his words, the more I felt myself falling into that twisted, turning maze, a maze I'll like to call teenage romance.
“You know.” I said having finally navigated to the end of my emotional maze. “Every time we're together, Ben. I'm reminded of that handsome boy that gave me my first dance and kiss.” I paused and took a deep breath. “Who was my first crush, then became my first love, who took me by the hand and ushered me into the green grove.” I said winking as I reached over and took another swig of my drink.
“Who rode his bike from Benton Academy all the way to King's Daughters Hospital in a freak snow storm and rushed to my side when I was getting loaded up in a meat wagon.” I paused to brush away a stray tear. “Who kissed me when I came too from a nightmarish dreamland. Who's kiss made me fell more than alive and assured me that I was still alive and not just another corpse awaiting autopsy down in the morgue.” I drained my drink at the last part.
Ben blinked.
“When I was named Homecoming Princess. Who was named Homecoming Prince?” I pointed across the table at Ben and smiled. “You.”
Ben blinked again, at that moment Cindy appeared and refilled our glasses. She quickly left though. I'm sure she noticed that Ben and I seemed to be having a boyfriend and girlfriend type of conversation. Though if I know Cindy Coleman and I do know Cindy Coleman, she and the rest of the squad would ambush me before long and demand all the juicy details. And I of course being honored bound as the youngest member of the 'A' squad would have to tell them everything. It's just the way girls worked, they shared everything.
“When I was baptized with a new name in the Episcopal Church, you were there to support me.” I said smiling. “Considering my whole freaking family is Episcopal that a pretty big deal that you showed up, you know.. cause when we get married, it's going to be in a big old Episcopal Church.” I said smiling.
“You mean St. Andrew's Episcopal Cathedral in downtown Jackson?” He said, smiling a little. “I said a lot of prayers in that church. Prayed before the altar every day you were knocked out and hooked up to all these machines. Sitting there in the pews, I noticed how pretty it was. Its almost as pretty as you.” He said, taking a sip of his drink. “While I was praying, I thought about what you said, how you wanted to get married in that church. I thought about how you looked in your gown and I made a vow. If we ever decided to get married. I'm going to do my best to marry you in that church.” He nodded his head.
“Ben..” I said I was honestly lost for words as I peered toward him. “You were my prince at homecoming, you were my prince at Mardi Gras, I hope one day you will become my husband too,” The words just fell out of my mouth.
Before Ben could respond though. Cindy appeared again, this time she was holding a big tray. “Okay Coleman's Romantic Steak Dinner for Two.” She said setting down two metal plates. “Two twenty two ounce USDA Choice ribeye steaks.” She said smiling. “And extra rolls, cause you're both not a fan of rabbit food. And when your ready for desert just give me a holler.”
And that was that. Table conversation we decided could wait, food had to come first. And soon the only thing that could be heard was the scrapping of forks on metal plates and the sound of two hungry teenagers savoring wonderful steak.
Ben and I enjoyed the rest of the meal in silence, it was the good kind of silence. Oh the Pecan cobbler was simply amazing, totally off my diet but so worth it. Once we finished eating, Ben paid the check and he was escorted back to his car. It was around ten o' clock at night, and nearing my curfew. Not that Lily would have minded if I stayed out at all hours of the night. She is kind of cool like that, and with mom and dad away and Lily manning the fort I'm sure I could have managed to stay out a little past ten.
But, one of the drawbacks of living in a small southern town is everything closes down around a little past nine. Sure we have all the modern conveniences of a larger town, we have a McDonald's but it closes its dining room at nine and closes down the drive-through at midnight. We also have a Pizza Hut, but it shuts down likewise at nine. Of course we could have gone to see a movie. But George, the owner of Benton Plaza Twin Cinema, also closes down at nine. And most of the movie's he shows are 'B' rated movies. So going out for ice cream or going to see a movie was out of the question. Of course we did have a Sonic drive-through in town, but as of late it seemed their ice cream machine was always broken or something.
So really if you wanted ice cream after dinner you're romantic dinner, your best bet was to go home or to one of the Shell Gas Station out on the highway. The Shell Gas Station was the only business in town that stayed open around the clock. And like most gas stations in the south it also doubled as a pizza place, an ice cream place, and a dinner as they had a hot bar that served both breakfast, lunch, and supper. But that was out on the highway and the kind of people that flocked it were kind of the rough types. You know, truckers and stuff.
The truckers were not the problem, no far from it, it was the other kind of people that tended to flock to it and hang around the parking lot late at night, loggers getting off from the graveyard shift down at the sawmill, hunters coming back from the woods, drunk seeking relief from their pending hangovers. Railroad workers coming in from a long haul, and generally a rougher type of crowd. The same type of people who spent all their pocket money at Buck's Tavern, a well known hell hole.
In short people who would love to kick the ever loving shit out of me if they knew who I was. While most of the town seemed to accept the small transgender population that calls Benton home, I was keenly aware that people still wanted me and my friends lynched and would be more than happy to have hanged me from the sour apple tree. Yes, I'm aware that lynching is considered a hate crime, but that only if its reported. I knew enough about the inner working of this town to know that a few key people in high offices would just look the other way.
I mean, if I'd happen to be found one frosty morning hanging from tree in the backwoods, a good many people in this town would mark it up as suicide, even if deep rutted tire tracks were found surrounded my dangling corpse. So yes, going to the gas station after sundown was out of the question.
“Hey.” I said smiling as I walked behind Ben. “Let's go to my house for some ice cream. Mom and dad are away, they have tickets for some magical show in Vicksburg. Lily is at home, but she'll be busy.” I said tactfully, yes I knew Lily would be busy. “So we'll pretty much have the whole downstairs area to ourselves.”
This seemed to throw Ben for a loop. But after a moment's pause he kind of nodded his head in understanding. I'm sure he wanted to go back to his house. But knowing his big sister, Joan, she'll be looking out the front living room window like a hawk at us. I've never met his mother or father before. But they seemed like good people. His mother though was worse than Joan, the few times I've met her, say at church dinners and stuff. She kept her eyes glued to me.
“Sounds good.” Ben said, smiling as he reached down and pulled the car door open. “Plus, mom and dad are at home.. and knowing mom and Joan they would both want to talk with you. About our date of course, nothing more.” He said shifting his eyes to the left along with his weight.
I spied a chance to mess with him and I took it. Us Potter's are known for our sharp wit, keen business sense, and social grace.
“You mean they would want to sit me down at the dining room table, maybe offer me hot chocolate, and between your mom and Joan they're going to interrogate me about tonight? Wanting to know how many times I've kissed you? Wanting to know what my plans for you were once dinner was done? Wanting to see my phone to see if I'd texted another guy while we were together? All the while you and your dad sit in the living room, your dad sitting in his chair, you on the sofa, both of you watching some rerun of a western.” I said folding my arms under my budding breast, the fact that I had breasts still amazed me. I was still getting used to them.
“Nothing gets past you, does it Jamie?” Ben said with a gentle sigh.
“Hardly.” I said smiling, “When I became a girl, I had to learn a lot of different skills. One of those skill's was reading between the lines and learning to read other people. Once I became a cheerleader, I had to develop a whole other set of skills. It's going to amaze you, but being a cheerleader means you're pretty much at the center of everything. You'll become a social arbitrage before you know it.”
Ben blinked and blinked again.
“Wow. Sounds like some high handed drama.” He said as he watched me climb into the car. He gently closed the door behind me and moved around the car, soon climbing into the driver's seat. Once he was in the driver's seat he started the car up and it roared to life. “But I guess you kind of enjoy that stuff?”
“No, no I don't. It's just like this. Cheerleaders are like the alpha female's of the school. We gotta be trend setters and sometimes peacekeepers. We also gotta maintain the balance if you will. The main thing we do between cheering at games, is making sure the school runs smooth. That means quitting people who bully, making sure everybody knows they can come talk to us. And make sure all the girls in school are invited to parties and stuff. Pretty much if a girl is having a problem, she knows she can come to one of us and we'll help her. Even if it's just a shoulder to cry on. We'll listen and if it's a big problem, we'll help her solve it.”
“Wow..” Ben said. “The football team is nothing like that.” He said blushing as he fastened his safety belt.
“It could be.” I said smiling. “You're going to be named Co-Captain next year. And After that you're going to be named Captain. You'll have a chance to change a lot of things and groom the next person to take over to keep the changes going. It's a battle.. a battle that is often lost but one we must keep fighting. A battle that gains strength as the struggle keeps going.” I said, I then sighed a little. I was starting to sound more and more like Lily with each passing day. And that honesty scared me.
“You know.” He said smiling as he reached across and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I leaned into his hold and placed my head upon my shoulder. It seemed tonight would be a perfect night, one that would really mark another milestone being laid in my life. “I think, I'm starting to see another side of you. And I like that side.”
I blinked and lifted my head from his shoulders and peered at him. I peered at him for a good long minute before trusting myself to speak.
“What side?” I asked.
“The thoughtful side of you. The side that always seems to be thinking, the side that wants to leave everything a little better than she found it. The side that takes the lemon's life throws at her and makes lemonade out of them.” Ben said, smiling as he started the car. I kept my head to his shoulder as he pulled away from the curb and into the flow of traffic.
“Thanks.” I said smiling a little. “Hey, I was wondering if you would like to see sometimes. I know you're into superhero movies and stuff. And we'll their about to reopen the old drive in theater out on Old Benton Road.. you know it closes during the winter months and opens back up during the spring.” I said. “Maybe we could go see a movie out there. I heard it's kind of romantic.”
Ben nodded his head. I could tell he was thinking about it.
“Sounds good.” He said smiling. “I heard they only show vintage flicks though. You know those old school movies. Like 'The Legend of Boggy Creek' and 'The Town that Dreaded Sundown' I can dig those kinds of movies.” A playful smirk formed upon the bow of his lips. “And if you get scared, I'll be there to protect you. I promise you, I won't let a mask phantom or a swamp monster get my princess.”
“How sweet of you.” I found myself laughing at that line. It was just so cute. So perfect.. what had started out as a little crush, was starting to develop into something more. I felt a change taking place between Ben and I. At that moment I think both of us were ready to start seeing each other alone. It was time for us to take our relationship to the next level.
“But sure we can do that.” He said. “You have a birthday coming up. So that could be my birthday present to you.” He suggested.
I shook my head at the suggestion and before he could get a word in I said.
“No, no.” I said smiling. “I'm going to treat you.” I said blushing. “You treated me tonight and I'm going to treat you.” I paused. “Including ice cream. All dates should end with ice cream.” I added blushing.
Ben only chuckled.
We drove around ten for twenty or so minutes, killing time. Till at last he pulled up to my house. A true southern gentleman, he stepped out and opened my door for me. I smiled at the jester. When I was around Ben, I was reminded that Chivalry was not dead. And come to think about it, all of the guys in our group were chivalrous to a point. Ben, Matthew, Daisy, and Caspar all would stand toe to toe with any guy who dared threaten us.
“Hey, would you join me on the front porch please?” I asked as I started up the brick paved walkway that led from the front of the street to the wide wrap around porch that surrounded our house. Like most houses in Benton, our house had a wide screen on the porch that faced the street.
“Sure, I would love to.” Ben said with a small smile. “Give us a chance to talk a bit, you know. Besides, I have some time to kill. Can't stay too late though, I borrowed the car from dad. And he wants it back before sunrise. You know how my dad can be with stuff.” He said, chuckling as we walked side by side up the brick driveway.
“Oh trust me I know.” I said pushing open the screen door of the front porch. “I'm sure my dad's going to be the same when I start driving.” I said as I stepped into the enclosed porch and looked around. The porch that needed to be swept out and mopped. A sigh escaped my lips. No doubt that would be another chore mom and dad would add to the chore list. On the bright side I was paid for all the chores, and between working part time down at the family's store, working part time down at Lily and Robin's bakery slash cafe thing, and the many chores that needed to be done around the house. I had plenty of pocket money coming in. That might be the biggest lie ever told in the history of mankind though, I mean really, who ever heard of a teenage girl having too much pocket money?
Anyway, putting chores out of my mind. I walked over the old wooden swing and eased my bottom down. I then patted the open space next to me and smiled toward Ben who walked toward me and eased down beside me. The moment he was seated down beside me, he wrapped his strong arm around my shoulder and I leaned into his loving embrace. And that's how my Valentine's date came to an end. Me sitting on the front porch, being held by my boyfriend with my head resting upon his shoulder.
And so another episode in my life draws to a close. But stick around, there is a lot more to come. And I promise you it's going to be a rollercoaster of a ride.
There is a common misconception among the general public that cheerleaders have it easy. I've been a cheerleader now for close to eighteen months and I can safely say without a shadow of a doubt that these eighteen months have been among the hardest months in my life. One would assume being the little sister of the cheerleading captain, I would have it made. If one would have assumed that then one would have assumed wrong. Nepotism has no place here and in fact it's been a curse, I've been pushed harder, I've been trained longer, and forced to practice longer than the other girls to disarm any notions of favoritism that might be shown to me.
Anyway, despite the long hours of practice and the blood, sweat and tears I've spilled, I've bonded with my teammates and we've forged something of a sisterhood together. These girls, many of whom I would consider sisters from another mother have made my once bleak social life more colorful and have dragged me out of my shell if you will. Also becoming a cheerleader, somehow endows one with a strong sense of nobleness oblige. Thus we often find ourselves helping out with fundraisers and such.
One such fundraiser was the ever popular “Pie a Cop” , an annual fundraiser that normally took place a day or two after Thanksgiving. The fundraiser was simple, a handful of brave officers from the Benton Police Department would volunteer to have cream pies, a grand term for aluminum pie tins that had been filled to the brim with thawed whipped toppings. Patrons would pay ten dollars for both a pie and the privilege of pushing that pie into the face of an officer. The money raised from the event would go to helping those families who were not as blessed as others to have a bit of Christmas and help put some presents under their Christmas trees.
The event always took place downtown and was always hosted by “Brewer & Croft Haberdasher Market” the second oldest, family owned and operated store in Benton. The event would take place toward the back of the store. Here several large sheets of plastic tarps would be spread along the floor and hung in the back. To the side a large gray trash barrel. In the center there would be a wooden chair, the brave volunteer would sit in the hair, be carved with a large plastic sheet to keep their clothing from getting ruined from droplets of pies and then the event would be on.
And what part did the cheerleaders play in this. Well the cheerleaders wound walk up and down the sidewalks of main street. Each one one of us would be holding a small aluminum pail that we had decorated with holiday themes. I remember I had painted the words “Joyeux Noel” in the center of mine. And to finish it off, I had painted a bundle of three holly berries at the beginning and ending of the words. What can I say, I'm really not the creative type when it comes to arts and crafts.
Anyway since the cheerleaders would be the one's collecting the money, everything had to be one point. Our make-up had to be perfect, not too light and not too heavy. It had to strike that perfect balance. Our hair also had to be on point. In short everything about us had to be perfect. And Lily and her Co-Captain Joan made sure each of us were shining examples of demure femininity.
The event started early on a Saturday morning. I remember because deer season was just starting up and the whole of Benton was covered in a fine late autumn frost. The rooftops of Benton were in fact covered in frost and the grass kind of made a crunching sound as you walked across it. It was the kind of cold that makes your breath turn to smoke as you breathed out.
I can remember that morning, the cheerleaders were roaming around in pairs of two. Since we were sisters, it seemed only right that Lily and I would be paired up. Lily's best friend Robin was also there passing out cups of hot chocolate, apple cider and coffee to who dropped their loose pocket change into our pails as we made our rounds. After a half hour of walking up and down the sidewalk, Lily decided to go one way and I decided to go another.
Following a hunch I started to drift along. The wind had started to pick up, blowing tiny flakes of snow around my bare legs. Causing a chill to run down my spine. Deciding to seek shelter, I walked into the shop and started to poke around. Once I walked through the front door, I noticed a large crowd had formed toward the back of the shop. The closer I got to the crowd the more the air seemed to buzz with excitement. Being one of the helping cheerleaders, it was easy for me to pick my way through the crowds till I was standing up front. My eyes were quickly drawn toward the policeman sitting in the chair, he was coated with cream, the plastic sheet he was wearing had a coating a good two inches thick. I could tell by the way he was blushing this had to be new to him. Being the center of attention and all.
Smirking a little I walked up to the woman selling the pies. I whispered something in her ear and slipped her a ten dollar bill. She then handed me a thick cream pie. I took the pie into my hand and smiled as I started to walk toward the guy. He smiled a shy smile and I returned the smile with one of my own as I balanced the pie in the palm of my hand. I then took a deep breath and gently pushed the pie right into his face, making sure to move the pie tin so I covered his face and his hair before sliding it back down the back of his head. The pie tin dropped and a deep blush colored my face as I stepped back and nodded at my handiwork. I had never pied anyone before and it was kind of thrilling to do.
Then the chief of police, a short woman with iron gray hair appeared. The crowd fell silent as she looked over them. Her eyes quickly fell on me, as I was still holding the pie tin that had a few ounces of creamy topping in the bottom. I felt a deep blush coloring my cheeks as she eyed me for a few minutes before going on.
“I'm afraid to say that the last volunteer is needed for patrol.” She said in a commanding tone of voice. “But to keep the ball rolling, I was wondering if there might be a volunteer here in the audience who's willing to sit down and finish the last thirty minutes.” She asked as she looked around.
I don't know what came over me, maybe because I spotted Jason Patterson lurking around the crowds and snapping pictures, no doubt for a special edition of the paper. I knew Jason Patterson in passing, he had snapped a few pictures of me. He had snapped a picture of me covered in green and white slime at the end of homecoming a year or so ago. He then had snapped a picture of me covered in orange slime when Heather Ford had surprised me on a Halloween visit. And then again in pink slime when I lost the annual fishing contest that summer. And again when volunteering for our schools dunking booth.
“I'll volunteer.” I said shooting my hand in the air.
All eyes turned toward me, the word itself seemed to take a deep breath. The chief of police blinked and blinked again in surprise. I believe she expected one of the saleswoman to volunteer or one of the basketball players or maybe somebody else.
“Okay.” She said smiling as she looked me up and down. “And what is your name?”
“Jamie Sarah Potter.” I responded without skipping a beat.
“Oh, the school's princess is going to grant us the privilege of throwing pies at her?” She said smirking a little as she watched the current volunteer stand up and remove the pie covered tarp. The tarp was tossed into the gray trash can and he was handed a towel to clean up some of the pie.
“I guess.” I said forcing a laugh. The seat was now open. So I took a deep breath and walked over and eased my bottom down upon the chair. A few of the cheerleaders heard about me volunteering so they walked over and helped place the clear tarp over my head. And so there I sat, covered from the neck down in a big plastic sheet and surrounded by people eager to shove a pie in my face. A deep blush colored my cheeks as I peered toward them.
“Okay guys and gals.” I said, forcing myself to laugh once more. “Here's your once in a lifetime chance to pie a Benton Academy Cheerleader.” I paused as I tried to think of something to follow that statement up. “So, let me have it!”
I did not have to wait long. Only a few minutes before the first person stepped up. A deep blush colored my cheeks, as it was the officer from before. Smiling from one ear to the other he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. I could see him handing two bills to the woman in charge of the pies. Once the bills were in her hand, she handed off the pie to him.
I took a deep breath and put on a small smile as he walked toward me. Before he smashed that pie in my face I gave him my best doe eyed look. You know that look a naive girl with big, bright blue eyes would give to project an aurora of innocents to hopefully pull upon the heart of the police officer. But all of my efforts were in vain. He gently placed his hand behind my head to support it and to keep me from turning away, and then balancing the pie in the palm of his hand he gently pressed it into my face, the whole of my world went black as I felt the cream being pressed into my face and then smeared into my hair before being allowed to rest on top of my head.
Slowly I opened my eyes. I could feel the cream clinging to my skin and I could smell it. It kind of smelled like sour milk and tasted kind of like buttermilk too. As my warm skin started to melt the cream on my face it dripped down on the tarp. Then much to my surprise I noticed our cheerleading coach was standing in line next with a big cream pie.
She wore a big smile as she slowly started to walk toward me, she was dressed in a pink turtleneck sweater with a matching black pencil skirt and white leggings and black court shoes to round out the look.
“Jamie.” She said as she drew near enough to push the pie into my face. “I just gotta say, you gotta heart of gold girl.” And with that she drew the pie back and pushed the pie into my face, once more I felt the world around me go dark as my face was enveloped in cream. She held the pie tin there for a few minutes and even gave it a little twist to ensure maxima coverage. Then she let the pie tin fall, I felt the thing fall off my face and roll down the sheet covering me before splatting on the floor. Up next was the chief of police. She wore a big smile on her face as she moved toward me as she balanced the pie in the palm of her hand. A nervous series of giggles escaped my lips as I watched the chief of police stand there. I closed my eyes and a heartbeat later I felt the pie being gently smashed onto the top of my head.
“Oh goodness.” I said giggling as I felt the cream working its way down to my roots. “It's going to take ages to wash all that cream from my hair.” I said wanting now to know the state of my hair. I could feel the oils in the cream starting to run down my face and drip down into my ears. A chorus of laughs, giggles and snickers filled the air as the gathered crowd seemed to find my statement a bit funny. I did not see anything funny in it. The sound of their laughter made my cheeks flush an even darker shade of red.
And there my story ends. I mean, yes I did get my picture in the paper, and yes I raised a good bit of money for charity. So all in all it was a good day. You know, nobody really knows what is going to happen when you wake up. Each day a blessing. Sometimes you just got to look a little closer to find those blessings, sometimes there in plain sight other times there hidden.
The End.