When you live in the middle of nowhere, you hunker down and make your own entertainment. There is one age-old entertainment that never palls, thus Ruth and Travis Jordan produced a new family member with some regularity after entertaining themselves quite enthusiastically. For the first six productions they had to come up with a female name to use for the Christening at the local little white church house. Thus we have Ramona, Raina, Roslyn, Roxy, Rhoda and Rita.
This pattern didn't hold when number seven made his appearance.
Chapter 1
Texas. Y'all know that everything's bigger in Texas even if we hardly ever say y'all around here any more; too sophisticated, I guess. One thing for sure: Texas is big. It takes two long days to cross it from east to west without gathering a speeding ticket or two. Hell, the King ranch at 825,000 acres is bigger than the State of Rhode Island at 775,900 acres.
So OK, you can sling numbers like that around all day and still not get the feel of just how big the place is. If you grow up on a ranch (not anywhere as big as the King Ranch, believe me!) you get to feel in your bones just how big the place is. Like there's nothing to be seen for miles and miles but scrub land and scrubby trees, with the exception of the odd oil well, horse, cow, goat, deer, sheep or windmill.
Well, actually you can see some solar arrays instead of windmills these days, modern technology is everywhere. In the part of Texas where our story takes place there will be a few modern-day cowpokes and of course some of the ubiquitous dirty white diesel pickup trucks if you happen to be near the ranch house or one of the small settlements that dot the landscape at absurdly distant intervals.
If you're from up North, you may wonder just what we grow on all those acres. The answer is - usually nothing. Those acres are mostly good for pasture, a few inches of soil over a whole lot of limestone. Houses down here don't have basements - they sit on the limestone and you never have to worry about the foundations sinking.
Then there's the problem of water. In much of the state there is hardly any rain - we're talking semi-desert here. In the pastureland there is more water, but it tends to come in torrents in the spring and irregularly the rest of the year. You can grow grass, or maybe hay if you're in the right area, but the crops a Northern farmer plants just don't work down here.
Thus the horses, cows, goats, deer and sheep, which can thrive on grass. It takes a lot of acres to grow enough grass to feed them, thus the big ranches with the animals wandering around munching all day.
But it's not as easy as letting the critters go and wander, they have a tendency to wipe out an area if they stay too long, so someone has to keep track of them and move them to different pastures every so often. You have to drill wells and put up windmills to pump water out of the ground so they can drink. There are another million or so things you have to do to be sure that expensive calf stays alive and healthy to grow up so you can take to market when the time comes. I'm sure you probably don't want that much detail, and that's not what this story is about.
No, this is the story of the Magnificent Seven, but not the scruffy outlaws of the old movie. This Magnificent Seven are the children of the Jordan family, who grew up on one of these family ranches. There are still a few that haven't been taken over by agribusiness, at least not yet.
As is the ideal for a multi-generational family ranch, Heather and Ben Jordan had run the place while raising their family. Several of their children had migrated to the city, but son Travis was the one who loved the land and took over when disaster struck.
Under normal conditions, life on a working ranch can have it's hazards. When a ton worth of cow decides to zig when you were thinking it would zag, there is little doubt as to whether the cowboy or the cow will come out ahead. Cowboys still fall off horses or tumble off ATVs when traversing the dusty plains. Machinery acts up, trucks go off the road, there are plenty of things that can hurt a hand on a ranch.
Heather and Ben Jordan would have been happy to continue running the ranch with the help of their son until Ben was old and gray, but Ben's horse found a hole in the ground while he was moving along at a fair clip and Ben went flying. Fortunately, he was with a group, but when he hit he crushed his hip and broke his leg, they had to medevac him out by helicopter and he spent weeks in the hospital and months in rehab.
Ben was eventually able to walk again, but only for short distances before it just plain hurt too much. A practical man he started using a wheelchair to get around outside his home, but he was never going to be riding the range and poking his cows again.
The old family farmhouse was built and rebuilt many times over the years, but it had never been designed to cope with a wheelchair. With some reluctance, Heather and Ben moved to a nearby town (as Texas distances go) and lived in an accessible apartment.
There were times when Ben railed at the lousy hand life had dealt him, but he continued to cope with hardship in town just as he had on the ranch, building a new life for himself and his wife. Thus, Travis and family took over running the ranch far earlier than anyone expected, but he had been training all his life for the job and he did it well.
As you might imagine, when you live in the middle of nowhere and the weather is lousy, you hunker down in the old family home and make your own entertainment. These days electricity, phones, Satellite TV and Internet make for far more options than in the past, but there is one age-old entertainment that never palls.
Thus Ruth and Travis Jordan produced a new family member with some regularity after entertaining themselves quite enthusiastically. In fact, for the first six productions they had to come up with a female name to use for the Christening at the local little white church house.
Now Ruth and Travis weren't all that religious, but attendance was rather expected by the community and what the heck? There wasn't much else to do on Sunday morning and it gave them a chance to see someone besides the ranch hands. Thus we have Ramona, Raina, Roslyn, Roxy, Rhoda and Rita.
As fate would have it, this pattern didn't hold when number seven made his appearance. There was some discussion as to whether his name should start with his father's 'T' to signify his male nature or with 'R' to keep with the established pattern. If you've ever been involved in selecting a name for a baby, you'll know just how delicate the negotiations can be, especially when the potential siblings wanted some input in the whole process.
Strangely enough, since Travis was an admirer of Theodore Roosevelt, the great Western adventurer and president, he prevailed and the son was to be known as Roosevelt Andrew. Teddy came a close second, but the agitation for an 'R' name was such that Travis gave in gracefully.
Now most people have at least one friend with a ridiculous nickname that resulted when some small child butchered their given name. Naturally, the smaller siblings had a hard time with Roosevelt and it didn't take long for the child to become 'Little Roosie.' Unfortunately, on the Sunday when Little Roosie was to be christened, there was a substitute preacher who had never met the Jordan family.
Pastor Henry Konowalski was a sweet old gentleman retired from active preaching who would step in on occasion when he was needed. To further the confusion that morning, Pastor Henry was a bit hard of hearing, and when the time came he blessed Little Rosie and used female pronouns throughout the ceremony.
Since he was hard of hearing, he failed to notice the giggles from the six siblings and the amused parents as they realized what had happened. The beautiful family christening gown, passed down along the family for several generations, furthered the impression of a little girl at the font.
From that day forward, Roosevelt Andrew Jordan became known as Rosie Ann to all and sundry.
Chapter 2
The sudden change in name mattered not a jot to the former Little Roosie. He just lay there in the time-honored tradition of babies everywhere and drooled, ate and filled his diapers. That his hand-me-down onesies were pink and had legends like 'Grandpa's Little Angel' or 'Daddy's Little Girl' didn't impress Rosie Ann in the slightest. With six sisters generating hand-me-downs it was inevitable that the infant would be wearing his sister's clothes.
As time passed, Rosie Ann became mobile, learned to talk and became a person in his own right instead of a baby and plaything for his sisters. He still spent much of his time wearing his sister's hand-me-downs, but on a working ranch we aren't talking gingham dresses or fancy frocks. No, for everyday use the women wore practical outfits like jeans, overalls and boots or sneakers. Mucking out the horses, feeding the goats and chickens or weeding the garden were not dress-up jobs.
Facing a ninety minute school bus ride, Ruth and Travis opted to home-school their children, along with the two girls, Cindy and Beth, belonging to the ranch foreman Jerry & Gabrielle Corwin. It certainly helped that both Ruth and Gabby had been a middle school teachers before they married.
Jerry's job was supervising the outdoor work and Gabby was a combination nanny, cook, maid and gofer helping Ruth with the domestic side of things. They lived in a neat little cottage next to the main house, beside the bunkhouse for the ranch hands. Gabby often referred to herself as the ranch's 'auxiliary wife', and with nine children to clothe and educate, it took two women to keep the house running.
Thus, as Rosie Ann grew up, he never really appreciated that girls and boys were supposed to wear different clothes. The only time it mattered was when the family went to church or some social event. Then the girls were dressed in their prettiest dresses, had their hair brushed and wore shiny shoes.
The trouble started somewhere around Rosie Ann's second birthday, when he became aware of the difference when they went out. That's when his other grandparents from New York sent him one of those disgustingly cute little suits that are inflicted on small boys in order to indoctrinate them into the drab clothing and neckties required of the male of the species.
He couldn't put such concepts into words at that tender age, but Rosie Ann knew he was being singled out and he didn't like it. He had played dress-up with is sisters - usually assigned the role of a doll to be dressed up - and was comfortable in the cute little dresses they all wore. He couldn't understand why he was jammed into this suit while his sisters got to wear those pretty dresses.
When a two-year-old doesn't understand something he is liable to pitch a fit, and pitch he did. That first time Ruth and Travis figured the kid would get over it and packed the family up in the van and went off to church.
Problem was, Rosie Ann didn't get over it. He was a pain in the ass the entire morning. Such a pain that Ruth had to remove him from the service and desperately try to keep him quiet until the preacher ran out of preaching. The entire family was frazzled by the time they returned home.
Once the suit was removed, their sweet child returned to the fold and peace reigned once more. Well, as much peace as such a large family was able to produce, anyway.
The following Sunday Rosie Ann was not to be found. One look at that suit and he took off faster than the proverbial speeding bullet, and was just as hard to catch. There are a lot of good places for a two-year-old to hide on a ranch, so finding a good hiding place wasn't all that hard. Trouble was, his sisters had all found those places before him, so it didn't take too long to recover him. At that point Ruth made an executive decision and let Rosie Ann wear one of the hand-me-down dresses and peace was restored.
Travis simply shook his head and realized that you have to pick your battles and this one wasn't one he wasn't going to win. Thus, The Magnificent Seven made their first formal appearance as seven sisters that morning and the die was cast.
Chapter 3
There are a certain class of people in this world that are wont to complain. It doesn't matter much what they are complaining about, as long as they are complaining. In fact there are those who have raised complaining to a high art. Old men in rockers on the Post Office porch, old women quilting in the church basement, teenagers whining about how life - or their parents - are just so unfair! When they really get going you practically expect to see a line of judges holding up numbered cards to rate the performance.
If complaining were an Olympic sport, that might hold true. If so, then 'things weren't like that in my day' would be part of the compulsory routines, just like they have in ice skating. In my day we walked ten miles to school, uphill both ways! or In my day we made our own fun, we didn't have this dang-fool bleepy-bloopy electronic folderol all over the place! In the case of a tie, In my day you could tell the boys from the girls! would be a reliable subject, with sub-classes of hair length, skirt length, trousers on women and metal junk poking out of the skin in strange places.
By the time Rosie Ann was five, even a gold-medal level complainer would have been hard put to pick out which of the Magnificent Seven had been born with a Y chromosome. As modern parents, Ruth and Travis tried not to enforce the antiquated gender roles. The girls were just as happy to sit in the middle of the floor with a truck going 'vroom! vroom!' as they were to hold a tea party.
Naturally, all the children were doing the various chores around the ranch and dressed accordingly, but with six girls the balance was swung way toward the feminine side no matter what happened. Without a doubt, everyone - most emphatically Rosie Ann - knew she was a girl and there was no need to argue about it.
It took some soul-searching on the part of Ruth and Travis to accept that this was the case, and even more soul-searching on the part of grandparents Heather & Ben. An abundance of innate caution prevented Rosie Ann's parents from discussing the subject with Pastor Tim at that little white church house, and professional counselors were a very long drive away from the ranch in the country.
That satellite link to the Internet proved worth the sometimes exorbitant rates, not only for school work but for information on just what to do about a small boy who thought he was a girl.
They came to realize that, in another age, their six daughters would have been thought unnatural and mannish because thy wore trousers, rode horses astride, worked on the ranch with the 'hired help', did physical labor and failed to feint when a mouse got into the house. How does this differ from a son who wants to wear a dress but does all the same things that his (her?) sisters do?
Grandpa scratched his head and philosophized, Grandma shook her head and pontificated, Mom and Dad held their heads and agonized and the Magnificent Seven just got on with being ranch kids. The family gradually came to realize that whatever was happening, it was working well and everyone was happy. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, a common Texas philosophy, became the family philosophy as well and was accepted by the other people that made the ranch run.
If the kid wanted to wear a dress like her sisters then let the kid wear a dress. Let's not get excited until she's older and we have to worry about puberty.
Chapter 4
As was mentioned before, when you live miles from nowhere you have to make your own entertainment on those long winter evenings or slow summer days when nothing else demands your attention.
Ruth found pleasure in knitting, but preferred to make her own yarn from the small flock of Merino sheep she kept in addition to the usual meat and wool-producing variety. The wool from the Merino breed is particularly prized for its softness and luxurious feel when made into clothing.
It takes a lot of work to get the wool off the sheep and finally turn it into something to wear. Shear it, then wash it because the little critters do run around in the dirt, you know. They get just as filthy as any small child playing in the dirt. Sometimes as much as half the weight of shorn wool is dirt and lanolin naturally produced by the sheep that has to be washed away.
Then the wool is picked and carded, which lines up the fibers. If you want colored yarn you have to dye the wool, and there are many vegetable and synthetic dyes to do the job, but it gets messy. Finally it's ready to spin into yarn.
Most people will have a picture in their heads of a pretty young girl sitting at a spinning wheel (remember Sleeping Beauty and pricking her finger on a spindle?) but modern spinners use a compact, electric powered spinner that sits on a small table. Ruth found great satisfaction spinning the wool from her sheep as she sat with the family in the evening, then knitting beautiful and unique garments for her girls.
While she worked she hummed and sang tunes that her own mother sang and gradually, as the girls got older, they began to sing with her.
Without quite knowing it, by the time Rosie Ann was five or so, Ruth's seven daughters were sounding pretty good when they sang together. Raina, the second youngest, emerged as the group leader and spent time on You-Tube finding songs that struck her fancy and teaching them to her sisters. Their repertoire of music would cause many heads to shake in its breadth and disregard for Texas traditions.
Father Travis took the role of audience, opining that it was a good thing they didn't have a farm pond too close to the house or the frogs in it would be better singers than he was.
So it was when Rosie Ann was five, the County Fair rolled around and the family made their usual pilgrimage. The older girls had 4-H projects on display, Ruth had a knitting project made from their own sheep and dyed with natural colors from their land, hand knitted in the evening hours while supervising the girls' homework. Yes, they had homework, even if the school was their home. Mom and Gabby needed a rest sometime!
They made quite a sight as they entered the fairgrounds, Mom and her seven daughters in matching dresses that she and the older girls had made themselves and Dad in a Western shirt of the same material; many heads turned as they made their way through all the exhibits. Taking a break for ice cream, it was eleven-year-old Raina that spotted a sign-up sheet for an open mike at one of the outdoor stages at 4 PM that afternoon.
Raina got all excited and insisted that the Magnificent Seven should sign up to do their two songs right now before anyone else takes all the spots!
Twelve-year-old Ramona, perilously close to the teenage years where everything was embarrassing, wasn't sure she wanted to sing in public, but the rest of the crew liked the idea. With some soothing words from Mom and Dad, Ramona acquiesced and they found their way to the stage and signed up.
Five-year-old Rosie Ann wasn't really sure what was happening, but her sisters were excited so she got excited, too. She really liked singing with her sisters.
There were still several hours before the show, so a pass through the midway and a few rides were in order, then more exhibits. Mom and Dad were determined to keep their brood focused on the more agricultural (and less expensive) parts of the fair.
The argument about just what to sing lasted all the way to the midway, with the girls finally settling on The Yellow Rose of Texas for a traditional number. Rosie Ann particularly liked that one because she got a solo. For something more modern, their version of Pentatonix' Sing made the cut.
With that settled, the family split up and the parents proceeded to once again warn their brood that no one wins at the games on the midway. The Gods of Irony must have been listening, because Rosie Ann came back lugging a teddy bear bigger than she was, and Rhoda had a plastic bag with a goldfish swimming in it.
Just what the heck were they supposed to do with that fool goldfish while they rode the rides and then had their five minutes of fame on stage? Fortunately, Jake's Tractor Supply had a booth in one of the show halls, so Travis prevailed on his friend to guard Goldie and Teddie with his life until their owners could return for them.
It pays to have friends.
Each girl was given a pile of tickets and solemnly warned that when they were gone, they were gone. Travis guided the younger set to the more sedate rides while Ruth rode the Ferris wheel and the Wild Mouse with the older set. Travis had long ago learned that whirling and twisting rides and his stomach did not get along. Even the teacup ride could be upsetting with a child who insisted on reversing directions frequently and erratically.
The anguished cries of 'just one more!' were eventually extinguished with the advice that they needed to start over to the stage if the Magnificent Seven were to perform today. This started a mad rush in that general direction while Mom and Dad prayed (sometimes religion is a help) that they wouldn't lose any of their little chicks before they found the stage.
When the first burst of speed waned, Dad asked if they just might want to find a quiet corner and run through their songs before taking to the stage. Nobody had thought of that in their excitement, so they found a quiet corner to practice.
Ramona, as the oldest, signed the group in and they all took seats in the audience. Someone had done some strategic thinking and placed the stage near the picnic tables and the food booths so that there would usually be someone besides friends and family at the open mike. The older girls were impressed by the three boys that were on stage when they arrived, although whether they were praising their talent or their looks Ruth carefully didn't inquire.
A yodeler, a kid with a guitar and a harpist did their thing and then it was showtime for the Magnificent Seven.
To say that the seven cute girls in matching dresses attracted some attention would be understatement. They automatically lined up in order of height (which still made Roxy annoyed because her younger sister Rhoda was an inch taller) and smiled when the MC introduced them all by name in his show-biz voice and presented the Magnificent Seven.
Of course being a county fair in Texas, no one was surprised to hear the praises of the Yellow Rose, but in seven-part harmony it commanded attention. When little Rosie Ann did her solo verse in her sweet soprano she got an enthusiastic ovation and the girls were flying high when they finished their song. A short conference and Raina (Ramona, the eldest, was too shy) announced they would do Pentatonix' Sing. This got some shouts from the teens in the audience and some blank looks from the older crowd. Pentatonix is not a group played in your average Cowboy Bar in Texas, nor is the semi-hip-hop Sing.
The music may have been strange to some, but the girls clapping and bopping to the beat were visually arresting and their harmonies, crafted at night when their Internet time was cut off, were striking. Some purists might have opined that they needed a bass line in there, but such a Philistine would be hurriedly hushed. The girls were a hit.
By the time the family arrived back on the ranch, the girls were soundly asleep. With Rosie Ann's arms encircling Teddie and Rhoda clutching her goldfish, Travis and Ruth looked at their brood sleeping innocently in the van and once again knew that raising a family was one of the highest callings on this earth.
Chapter 5
Sunday morning dawned after the Saturday spent at the fair, and the Magnificent Seven could be more properly be called the Delinquent Seven. No matter how much fun they had the day before, the ranch work was still there waiting for the girls. Rosie Ann fed the chickens and gathered the eggs, Rita and Rhoda fed the goats, Roslyn and Roxy fed the pigs and Ramona and Raina mucked out their horse's stalls. Ruth and Gabby made breakfast and Travis consulted with the hands about the day's work.
With the chores finished, they all got dressed in their best and headed for church. Raina, who dreamed of stardom, was particularly down that the Good Fairy, or at least a Hollywood Agent, hadn't come by to bring them all fame and fortune after their singing debut.
Rosie Ann and Rita did fall asleep during the service, but being the youngest that was excusable. The other girls sang their hearts out on the hymns, dreaming of being on stage one more time to the applause of thousands of fans.
As it turned out, the Magnificent Seven had one True Fan in the congregation. Good 'ole Jake, that stalwart Teddie watcher, had been impressed and made sure to let Preacher Tim know he had a choir of angels in his flock at the social hour after the service.
This brought a gaggle of giggles from the girls, who immediately went into shy mode at the unexpected praise. Well, all except Rosie Ann, who was too busy sneaking another cookie to be paying any attention to the man talking to her parents.
Preacher Tim was impressed, he knew the girls sang very well during the service but hadn't realized they sang together for fun. Raina, deciding that Preacher Tim would do in the absence of a Hollywood talent scout, convinced her sisters to sing the Yellow Rose for him to prove their talent.
With some encouragement and persuasion from Mom and Dad, they lined up and sang, bringing the social hour to an abrupt stop. Once again Rosie Ann's sweet soprano brought the house down. Hey, if Michael Jackson could do it as a little kid, why couldn't Rosie Ann? For that matter, with the feminization of Michael Jackson as he grew older, there might be more than a casual connection here.
The girls basked in the glory of a second fifteen minutes of fame and Preacher Tim invited them to sing for the service next Sunday. What he carefully didn't say was the choir in his small church was pitiful at best and some real harmony would be a welcome addition to the service. He gave them a hymnal to take home and said he would call to tell them what hymn he was interested in.
There's nothing like a little praise to give a kick start to a project, and the girls suddenly found that singing together was more than a way to pass the time of an evening. Preacher Tim, who was a closet bluegrass fan, wanted to start with The Little Old Church By Side Of The Road, since he was preaching in a little old church by the road. So OK, it wasn't a hymn from the hymnal but he included a link to You-Tube with the Dry Branch Fire Squad version. Hey - even the Baptists can use modern technology when they want to.
When everyone had finished laughing at Ron Thomason's monologue, the girls were itching to work out parts for the song with the help of their parents. The complex harmonies and oversinging of the lines were a greater challenge than they had had to date, but they were sure they could figure out how to do it.
It took some work, but they were sounding pretty good by the time the next Sunday rolled around. Ruth and Travis eased back on the schoolwork as the girls were working hard to come up with harmonies as good as they heard on the computer.
It might sound strange to say it, but they were a hit at church. Over the next few weeks the girls were asked to sing at the Grange meeting and even the Odd Fellows meeting. Not exactly Carnegie Hall, but they were getting a local reputation.
The fame, such as it was, did not go to their heads as the work and chores around the ranch were still waiting to be done and school work was not to be put off indefinitely. Music became just one more thing that the family did together.
Chapter 6
Time passes as it always does, and the following year brought a letter from the County Fair Association the next spring. It contained a formal request for the Magnificent Seven to perform two half-hour shows on the main stage. Since the letter was addressed to The Magnificent Seven, Raina tore it open and started screaming when she read the contents.
Naturally this brought the rest of the family and she handed the letter to Ramona who also started screaming. Pandemonium reigned until Ruth snagged the letter and read it herself. She was too mature to start screaming, but her smile was a mile wide. "Ladies," she announced, "you have been invited to sing at the county fair - and they want to pay you for it!"
Travis looked up from the project he was working on at the sound of a hoard of children streaming toward him. Glad cries of "Daddy! Daddy, guess what!" told him that good news was impending, but just what could be so exciting that his entire family were running and skipping merrily toward him?
"Read it, Daddy!" commanded Raina, who had emerged as the leader of the Magnificent Seven. He read it and replied "Well, I do believe you girls have hit the Big Time!" You're going to have to learn lots of new songs so you can have some choice when you perform. If you're getting paid you want to be sure you can do the job right."
"Of course we'll do it right, Daddy," scoffed Roslyn. "We're going to be famous!"
That evening, Ruth hit Travis with the famous line: "We have to talk."
"We do, eh?"
"Yes we do. Remember when you started planting kids in me we decided to put off what to do with them around high school age?"
"I remember the planting quite well."
"You would. You still do a pretty good job of planting even if you don't have live seeds any more, but you're trying to get me distracted."
"Darn! I suppose that means we have to start thinking of sending Ramona to high school in the fall."
"Got it in one, partner. I'm about at the limit of my home-school teaching abilities and so is Gabby, especially since Ramona seems determined to become a doctor. Ramona and Cindy are going to need some formal education if they want to go to college, and then there's medical school."
"I suppose the 'three R's aren't Ropin', Ridin' and 'Rithmatic?"
"Not even if you include Ranchin' in there."
"You talked to Ramona about school?"
"Some, I think she realizes it's time to make a change, but she's not so sure about spending all day in a school with people she doesn't know."
"Can't say I blame her, but it has to happen sometime. I've also noticed she's noticing the ranch hands these days."
"Well, she is thirteen."
"Guess I'm going to have to put new batteries in the cattle prod to keep the boys away."
"Smartass. Let the girl have her fun."
"As long as the boys don't have too much fun."
"You've seen that girl take down a calf in nine seconds. Any boy who get's fresh may find himself hogtied."
"Our girls do have minds of their own, don't they?"
"That they do. Speaking of our girls…"
"Rosie Ann?"
"Rosie Ann. Pretty clear it's not a phase or going to go away, isn't it."
"She's a girl despite what the doctor said when he spanked her bottom."
"I think it's time to talk to the doctor again, don't you?"
"I suppose you're right. I suppose we need to find out if our so-called health insurance covers anything like this."
"We just sign over a couple of the oil wells to them and it may cover the expenses."
"Damn good thing there's oil on our land or we couldn't afford to run the place. Disgusting that a rancher or a farmer can't make a living from ranching or farming these days."
"Just be glad you don't have to go into town to work every day to support your ranching habit like so many of our neighbors."
"Think you can find time to call the doc tomorrow? We've got to move the herd to the new pasture so I'll be gone all day."
"Just like a man - leave the phone calls to the woman."
"You do communication so much better, honey."
"Screw you, buster!"
"Now that's not such a bad idea, is it…"
With only a slight bit of annoyance, Ruth called the pediatrician on Monday and got an appointment for Rosie Ann and a consultation with the doctor.
The pediatrician was a young man who grew up in the Big City and was as familiar with gender dysphoria as any non-specialist could be these days. He had come to this rural practice when a program offered to reduce his enormous load of student debt and had found he loved living and working in the country.
The doctor's opinion: Rosie Ann was a normal, healthy well, adjusted girl of almost seven, who didn't seem to be bothered in the slightest by the tackle between her legs. If nothing much changes, don't worry until she's somewhere around nine or ten and puberty starts to get a bit closer. Then, if she still considers herself a girl, it would be time to see a specialist.
Throughout the consultation, the doctor used the feminine pronouns that Rosy Ann preferred, having watched her grow up in a loving family with no sign of problems.
Travis and Ruth were relieved that there didn't seem to be a medical problem, but still worried about what would happen as Rosie Ann continued to mature. Rosie Ann was just glad to get back home so she could play with her sisters and friends.
Chapter 7
Rite of Passage, is a term used by anthropologists to mark a significant change in a person's place in society. Almost all societies mark marriage - the creation of a new family unit - with a formal ceremony. Becoming a member of a group, such as the military calls for a ceremony, and of course the passage from child to adult is the most obvious passage in our contemporary society.
The year that Rosie Ann turned nine found the Jordan family coping with several of these rites. Travis and Ruth both celebrated their fortieth birthdays, Ramona her eighteenth and her graduation from high school, Roxy started high school, Rita matured to the point of needing to wear a bra and Rosie Ann, no less certain of what she should be wearing than she was at age two, demanded that she should have a bra just like all of her sisters did. At nine she didn't throw a screaming fit on the floor, but no one in the household was unaware of her opinion, no indeed.
Once again, Ruth and Travis held a strategy session as they went to bed.
"Well love," Travis started, "I think we can no longer put off having Rosie Ann see that gender doctor, can we?"
"No, we can't. Travis, I love that child to death but just how did we get into such a situation?"
"The usual way - we got horny and nine months later…"
"You know very well that's not what I mean!"
"I know, I know… Has it ever occurred to you how easy it's been to treat our son as our daughter? I mean, from the moment she started to develop a personality she's been just like her sisters."
"And we've been blessed with a crop of strong, lively young women, haven't we?"
"That we have. I sometimes wonder just how much trying not to push the usual gender roles on our girls influenced Rosie Ann. There's no doubt of their femininity, especially Ramona with a boyfriend now, but they aren't feinting wallflowers, not by a long shot. I figure that the only thing that's kept Roslyn from being a championship wrestler is because the school doesn't have a girl's wrestling team."
"And they wouldn't dare let her compete against the boys and crush their poor little masculine egos, would they?"
"You may be right. Also, too much temptation to grab a boob by 'accident,' eh?"
"Speaking of crushed egos, about the only thing I can think would crush Rosie Ann's is to hit puberty and grow into some hulking jock."
"Which brings us back to the gender doctor. We know they can at least delay puberty until she's old enough to make her own decision."
"Not that she hasn't made that decision already. That girl is a stubborn as her father."
"Or her mother - don't forget her mother!"
"You know what's funny?"
"No, what's funny?"
"I'm not half as worried about having our daughter see a psychiatrist as I am having to fight the traffic in the city to get to the shrink."
"Which shows a mature attitude. Prioritizing your fears is the first step to dealing with them."
"So if I'm going to the city, the least you can do is take Rita and Rosie Ann bra shopping. That wouldn't irritate your masculine ego, would it?"
"Might get me hauled off to the hoosegow for hanging around the little girl's dressing rooms, though."
"I'll visit you on Thursdays and Saturdays until your trial comes up."
"Thanks a whole bunch."
"You're welcome. Look, you won't have to do anything but tell the girls how nice they look. I can assure you they know their sizes and have been trying on their sister's bras so there won't be any need for you to see them without their dresses on."
"How reassuring."
"Is my big, strong man afraid of a little 'ole bra?"
"So scared that I'm compelled to remove them whenever I see my wife wearing one."
"So what are you waiting for?"
"Mother! You can't be serious?" cried Rita in tones only an outraged pre-teen could manage.
"What? You afraid your father will see that you're wearing a bra? Like he hasn't noticed any of your sisters have breasts?"
"Mother!"
"Daughter! And which of my daughters has been pestering me to get her a bra for weeks on end? Which of my daughters thinks she's so grown up she needs a bra?"
"I want one, too," piped up Rosie Ann.
"Of course you do, can't let your sister get ahead of you, can we?"
"I'm bigger than Rita so I should have my bra first."
"But I'm older so I should have first choice."
"I'm sure your father will make sure you both have a pretty new bra to wear. No need to fight about it. I haven't got time to take you if I'm going to get your new dresses finished in time for the fair, so you'll have to go with your dad. Live with it!"
"But it's not fa…"
"If you tell me it's not fair one more time you'll go without a bra until you're seventeen."
"That's the silliest threat I've ever heard!"
"Sillier than 'It's not fair'?"
"Mother!"
"Daughter!"
"Sister"
At which point all three were laughing helplessly.
"So if you're embarrassed to have your father help you buy your first bra and I can't go with you, what other solution can you think of?"
"Amazon?"
"A true child of the digital age. Think closer to home, Rita."
"You're being a teacher again, aren't you?"
"A complete failure as a teacher, or so it appears. There are five other solutions that I can think of offhand."
"Five… other…"
"We ask one of our sisters to come with us, right Mom?" crowed Rosie Ann.
"Bingo. At least one of you was listening when I talked about creative problem solving."
"They won't want to help!"
"Such a Negative Nellie. Try bribery - I bet you could fast talk your father into getting something nice for the sister who comes along to help."
"Now that part shouldn't be too hard, Rita."
"Just 'cause you're Daddy's favorite…"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"That's enough of that, ladies. Put your heads together and pick a sister. Then go and recruit her with promises of fame and fortune, or at least some new clothes."
"Can I help you, sir?"
"My younger daughters are here for their first bras. Cut it out, you two! A man can say the word 'bra' without having his daughters turn pink and hide their faces."
"Daddy!" came the stereo reply.
"Really, Daddy," announced Roslyn, "That's why you brought me along so you wouldn't have to say 'bra' in public."
"I'm a guy in touch with my feelings. I can say 'bra' any time I want."
"I bet you won't be saying it at the ranch with all the cowboys."
"You'd loose. Those cowboys are always speculatin' about how to remove a bra from a likely heifer."
"You're making it worse, Daddy. Behave yourself."
"Yes, dear. Help your sisters and I'll go look at manly power tools or something like that."
"No chain saws, you'd chop something important off."
"Like your allowance, maybe?"
"Daddy, we're in public."
"That's what happens when your mother lets me out all alone. I told her she should be the one to do this."
"We've got it all under control, come back in half an hour."
"Saved at last! Have fun, girls."
"Rosie Ann, you're wiggling like you have ants in your pants."
"Not my pants, Daddy. This thing itches!"
"I would be remiss if I didn't take this opportunity to say 'Be careful what you wish for - you might just get it.' You've been agitating for a bra for ages, now you want to complain because you're wearing a bra."
"I'd like to see you wear one, Daddy."
"I just bet you would, but it ain't gonna happen."
"It gets better soon, Rosie Ann," said sister Roslyn. "Pretty soon you won't notice it. Once you have something to fill it you won't want to be without it, really."
"That's easy for you to say."
"It's true, little sis."
"Mine doesn't feel all that bad, Rosie Ann," commented Rita. "My nipples were getting sensitive."
"You're embarrassing Daddy again, Rita."
"I thought he told us he could talk about bras without getting embarrassed."
"Maybe if you went whole hog and said brassiere it would be better."
"What's that?" asked Rosie Ann.
"It's the word that 'bra' comes from. You know how people hate to use long words when they can use a short one. It comes from an old French word for bodice. I found out that in modern French, 'brassiere' means a child's vest. Silly, huh?"
"Where'd you learn that? Mom sure didn't teach us that in school."
"The Internet, of course.
"See girls," Travis spoke up, "that's why you need an education, so you tell your sisters interesting and useless information and get one up on them."
"Daddy!"
This time the reply came in triplicate.
Chapter 8
"Mommy?"
"Yes, darling?"
"Why do we have to go so far for me to see the doctor?"
"Because the doctor works in the city and we live quite a ways away from it."
"And this doctor is one who knows lots of things about boys and girls, right?"
"Right. Maybe she can help you figure out why you feel like a girl when you were born like a boy."
"But I'm a girl. Everyone says so."
"And since you think you're a girl we treat you like a girl, but think - if someone came to the ranch to buy a girl goat so they can have her to provide milk, would they be happy if we gave them a boy goat and told them the goat thinks he's a girl?"
"Uh…"
"Could the boy goat give them milk like they wanted the goat to do?"
"That's silly! Boy goats don’t make milk, only mommy goats make milk."
"So there must be more to it than just thinking you're a girl, right?"
"I guess so…"
"It's not an easy thing to figure out. When you get to be as old as you are the difference becomes more important."
"But why?"
"Oh, honey - that's a pretty big question. That's just the way people are made. You know how your sisters changed when they got older, right?"
"Sure. They got breasts and stuff and had periods, but they aren't all that different."
"So they did, but you know that boys don't get breasts and periods, right?"
"I guess."
"Now come on, silly. You've seen the boy goats and the girl goats and know that there's a big difference. Same thing with the horses and the cows and the sheep and people."
"But I sure don't want to be a boy goat. That's gross!"
"The girl goats don't think so. We've been through this before, Rosie Ann; remember the boy goat's penis gets big and he puts it in the girl goat's vagina to make new babies. That's just the way it works for animals. It works that way for people, too, when they get old enough."
"It seems silly to me. I don't care if I ever have to do that stuff."
"You say that now, but when you get older your body is going to change your mind."
"But why?"
"Maybe the doctor can tell you. All I can say is that it's just the way things work."
"That's a dumb way to do things."
"You may be right about that, sweetie. You just may be right.
"You look exhausted, darling."
"Travis, on the whole I think I'd prefer wrassin' bulls to fighting traffic in the city. Can't those damn doctors have their office in the suburbs instead of downtown?"
"I'm convinced they do it to drum up more business. If you aren't crazy before you get there you will be by the time you find a place to park."
"You may be right!"
"So, how did it go?"
"The doctor thinks Rosie Ann is a happy, healthy, normal eleven year old girl."
"Really?"
"Really. I gather she was a bit surprised, most transgendered people have a whole pile of hangups and issues because of being transgendered. I guess we're doing something right."
"That's nice to know. So what should we be doing in the future."
"Endangering my mental health by driving Rosie Ann back for a few more visits. The doctor can't do anything more without talking to her a few more times."
"Maybe we can work it out so I can drive her some of those times."
"I like that better and better. By the way, I had to promise her we wouldn't let them drain her entire system of blood the next time. That child has been reading too many vampire stories."
"Can't blame her - I hated getting shots when I was a kid. Don't care too much for them now, either."
"Who would? If her bloodwork is OK, after the doctor gets to know Rosie Ann we can talk about testosterone blockers if she thinks it's the right way to go. I'd hate to see Rosie Ann end up a hulking six foot football player. Especially as I know she'll be agitating for a padded bra any day now. Now that Rita is developing it's only a matter of time."
"Going through that has been hard enough with the rest of the girls. How are we going to cope with Rosie Ann?"
"Rely on the doctor's advice, what else?"
"Makes me glad all I had to do was get used to a jockstrap when I was playing sports."
"You'd look cute in a thong, lover."
"I never could understand why anyone, man or woman, would want to walk around with a string up their ass."
"Not exactly practical when you're out ridin' the range, partner?"
"Or anyplace else. If you want sexy, you look best with nothing on at all."
"Glad you noticed."
"Happy Birthday, Rosie Ann!"
"How's it feel to be twelve, little sis?"
"You need to open that present first, Rosie!"
"No, the red box needs to be first!" Ramona instructed.
"No! Cake and ice cream first!"
"No way! Presents first!"
"Greedy girl!"
Chaos reigned for Rosie Ann's twelfth birthday. Big sister Ramona was back from college for the occasion and the Magnificent Seven were once again together. Naturally, when the cake came out and 'Happy Birthday' was sung the harmonies were as magnificent as the girls. By parental command, the presents waited until after the cake and ice cream, which waited until after the actual birthday meal.
Rosie Ann valiantly attempted to be mature about the whole thing, but those gaily wrapped boxes kept drawing her attention. At last she was installed in a comfy chair in the living room with her family gathered around her.
"Now, which one first?" Rosie Ann mused.
"I told you, the red one goes first," Instructed Ramona.
"Well if you insist!"
Scraps of paper went flying as Rosie Ann tore into the box.
"Huh? What the heck are these?" she asked in bewilderment. "They're squishy but…"
"Those, dear sister, are your brand new breast forms, the perfect gift for the girl who needs a little help up top."
"We all clubbed together to get you a really good set, at least until the doctor can start giving you girly pills." offered Raina.
"They're squishy!"
"They're supposed to be squishy. You want your boobies to bounce, don't you?" queried Roxy, which earned her a stern look from her mother.
"You gotta open the stripy box next, Rosie Ann," advised Rita.
"Does everybody but me know what's in these boxes?"
"You bet!"
"Nobody tells me anything!"
"It's a secret, silly!"
Once again, scraps of wrapping paper went flying.
"Ooh, sexy!" exclaimed Rosie Ann. "With bras like these I'm going to have to get a boyfriend."
"Ahem!" growled Travis.
"Oh Daddy! You're so easy to tease."
"I still have that baseball bat I bought for Ramona's boyfriends."
"You can keep it, I don't want to play baseball."
"I should know better. I can't win with all this feminine mystique floating around here."
"Poor Daddy. We love you anyway."
"Maybe you should go out and wrassel a bull or something to make you feel more masculine."
"Not before I finish opening my presents!"
"Maybe you should just give up and join all the rest of us women, Daddy."
"Oh no he won't!" warned Ruth. "I like him just the way he is, and don't you girls forget it!"
"Rosie Ann, open another present quick before we get distracted again!"
"Nice dress!"
"Pretty cool to get something new, right Rosie Ann? Being the youngest means always getting everyone else's hand-me-downs."
"I don't mind, but it is nice to get something new."
Eventually all the loot was opened and Rosie Ann ran up to her bedroom to put on her new clothes. At twelve she was starting to notice fashion and had regretted not being able to develop her own breasts like her sisters. The new breast forms at least made her look a bit more like a young girl, so they would have to do until she was old enough for hormone therapy.
Smiling at the pill bottle on her dresser - the one containing the anti-androgens - she figured they were the best birthday present of them all.
Chapter 9
"Well, you seem to have a rosy glow about you this morning"
"You bet, Doc! My sisters clubbed together again and got me a new pair of breast forms for my fifteenth birthday. They tell me I have to keep up with the way my body is growing, but if they keep at it I may end up with the biggest boobs in Texas by the time I'm in college."
"I do believe you could carry this 'everything in Texas is bigger' philosophy too far. Besides, I have no doubt that when you turn sixteen I will be prescribing hormone supplements for you when the law allows me to."
"Cool. I guess I just have to wait, huh?"
"Patience is a virtue, another bit of trite philosophy. Ancient as I am, I still remember how hard it was to wait for the important things at your age. At least you won't have to worry about doing a real life test when your body stops growing."
"There's another test I'm worried about, though."
"And…"
"I get to start high school in the fall. I don't know how well I can do with that. My sisters all tell me that I'll make the transition from home schooling to regular school just fine, but…"
"You will be facing some challenges they didn't have to confront."
"I like how you call problems challenges."
"Your point-of-view can change how you handle things, you know."
"I guess."
"Am I right in thinking your concerns are more about meeting new people and new situations than in having anyone guess you were born male?"
"Are you reading my mind?"
"Doctor Mysterio knows all and sees all. For the price of a simple dime she will reveal the future. I'm afraid I left my jewelry and crystal ball at home, but the talent still works."
"Wow! A shrink that is actually cutting her rates!"
"Nice try, kid. For you the price just doubled."
"Price gouging! Really!"
They both were getting very silly, but the doctor and Rosie Ann had developed a very good relationship over the years. Although she wouldn't admit it to anyone, having a transgendered client who had grown up happily as a girl in a loving family was a very refreshing change from many of her usual clients coping with the guilt and repression so common to the transgendered.
They spent the remainder of the session strategizing about how to be a high school student and how to be a high school girl. The doctor explained about sending a letter to the school explaining Rosie Ann's transgender status and the accommodations she would need, but finished with this advice:
"Talk to your sisters, they've done it before you and they'll be your best source of help. They obviously love you and will be there for you, so take their advice and go out and be the best high school student you can be."
"You make it sound like I'm joining the army."
"Let's hope your school won't be quite as regimented as the army."
"Hey Pete - who's the new girl?"
"Dunno. Where?"
"Over there. Just got off the bus. Long hair, green top, cute skirt."
"Jeez Phil, you gotta be kidding. Notice the other two long-haired girls with her? Rhoda and Rita Jordan? She's got to be another of the Jordan sisters. Magnificent Seven?"
"Oh yeah."
"You ever heard them sing? No chance they'd hang around with a guy like you who makes a bullfrog sound like a choir of angels in comparison."
"Hey! Mr V says I have a distinctive voice."
"With emphasis on the stink part."
"Nice way to treat a friend. I get by on my sparkling personality and superior intelligence."
"Yeah. Don't look now, but I think your brains must have leaked out over the summer."
"Unlike you who never had any to leak."
"I'm not the one who can't extrapolate from the data in front of my eyes."
"Well la-te-da! Extrapolate? Screw this data stuff, I'm more interested in a date."
"As if she'd give you a second glance."
"Better than screaming in horror when she sees you."
"Screw you!"
"I'd rather…"
"Don't say it, buddy. Those Jordan girls got class. You want to go out with the little sister you got to develop some good manners."
"Says you, Mr Authority."
"We'd better get our asses moving or we're going to be late on the first day of school."
"Alright, already. I still want to meet the new girl."
"Get in line, bozo."
"Jeez - is it always this crazy, Rhoda?"
"Just wait until you hit the halls when classes change."
"This is worse than moving the herd between pastures!"
"Just be glad nobody is riding a horse or you'd get trampled."
"I wish I were the one on the horse."
"At least with cattle you don't have to worry about them hitting on you."
"NO!"
"Be ready, little sister. The boys are going to be heading your way pretty quickly."
"Maybe I need a cattle prod?"
"Patience and a sense of humor usually works better. Save the cattle prods for the jocks. Some of those types have a hearing deficiency when the word 'no' is spoken," Roxy advised.
" 'Course as a freshman you're reasonably safe from the jocks, and most of the boys are OK if they aren't trying to impress their friends," Rita said.
"Home schooling was a lot simpler."
"Got to get out in the big, bad world sometime, little sis. You can do it."
"Who's your homeroom, Rosie Ann?"
"Mr Michelson?"
"He's OK, just follow me and I'll show you where it is," offered Rita.
"Thanks, sis."
Lunchtime.
"Hi Rita. Who's your shadow?"
"Shadow? I'm the light of her life," Rosie Ann snarked.
"This is Rosie Ann, the bane of my existence and my littlest sister. Mom gave up trying to teach her anything so she had to start high school. This is my friend Dory."
"Nice to meet you. Do you go by Rose or Rosie Ann?
"Usually Rosie Ann, but I'm thinking now that I'm in high school maybe I should just be Rose. And before you say it, I'm not the Yellow Rose of Texas, her name was Emily."
"See why my little sister is such a pain?" quipped Rita."
"She ought to make Mr Weaver happy if she knows so much about history."
"Gonna suck up to him, sis?"
"My sister already sucks enough for the both of us."
"Whoa! Can I sell tickets for the catfight?"
"Only if I get 10%," demanded the newly renamed Rose.
"Five! And I won't go any higher."
"I get the other five, Dory," Rita protested. "Share and share alike."
"You two are weird!"
"Here comes the rest of the gang. Hey guys, meet my little sister Rose…
I have to apologize, you two," said Rose at they got off the bus.
"That's cool," said her sister Roxy. "What are you apologizing about?"
"I used to think you guys were drama queens about having to ride the bus to school. I was wrong. Boy, was I wrong!"
"Ass a little sore, sister?"
"That and I need a nap. How do you guys do it?"
"You get used to it. Too bad by the time they'll let you take hormones so you can get some padding on your tush you'll be done with school."
"You are just so encouraging."
"Anything to help, Rosie Ann."
"She's decided she's just Rose now."
"Habit. My little sister is growing up."
"Not too far, I hope!" declared Rose.
"Let's go in and see if Mom got to spend the day relaxing now that we're all in school."
"Fat chance. She's probably out tending the goats or chasing rabbits out of the garden. You know Mom."
Chapter 10
"Can I sit here or is this table only reserved for Jordan family members?"
"I don't know. Do you have a reservation?"
"I have a lot of reservations about sitting with triplicates, but I'm a brave man."
"Rhoda, he's trying to pull the old 'I can't tell them apart' trick."
"Rita, should we let him get away with it?"
"He's only a boy, you have to make allowances," spoke Rose.
"I was warned, but I didn't listen."
"See - he's male so he has a hearing problem and he can't take advice."
"I don't know, girls. Should we take on a big project and attempt to rehabilitate him?"
"He is in Rosie's class, so there may be time to see the results. I don't know if four years would be enough, though."
"Ladies, please. I'm just a simple boy who is foundered by your collective beauty."
"How could they pack so much crap into a simple boy, I ask you?"
"Now sisters," pleaded Rose, "he may have some redeeming value."
"Uh-oh! Rosie has a boyfriend!"
"I do not!"
"Hey! All I asked is if I could sit with you, I didn't mean to start a war. I certainly know better than to be crossing the Jordans."
"That was despicable!"
"I thought it was pretty good, myself," opined Rose.
"Shall we gather by the river…" sang Rita.
"And stay to push the bugger in," finished Rhoda.
"You're welcome to join us, Luke."
"Oh ho! She knows his name!"
"Of course she does, we sit next to each other in English class."
"Nice save, Luke."
"Can we stop talking long enough to eat lunch?" asked Rita.
"Can you walk and chew gum at the same time?"
"Jeez, for sisters known far and wide for their harmonies, you three really get into it."
"Some of us know the score, others need the score in front of them to know what they're doing."
"Shut up and eat!
"Come in, Miss Jordan. Have a seat."
"Thank you, Mr Pettyjohn."
"I understand you've been creating a disturbance in history class, Rose."
"I don't see it that way, sir. I simply pointed out where the textbook was misleading and offered a more complete view of what was done to native children by the government. Simply saying that the government wished to 'Americanize' native children whitewashes the fact that they were tortured, not allowed to speak their native language, not allowed to practice their religion and forcibly removed from their parents."
"Perhaps you could have been a bit more restrained in your criticism?"
"Why? I understand that the Texas Board of Education is trying to hide the racism and sexism of the state and I don't feel any need to try to justify such immoral behavior."
"That's very harsh, Rose."
"It's true. You do realize that Texas ranks 34th in educational excellence among the fifty states? The quality of the textbooks in this school is really quite low. I'm glad that I was homeschooled so I know what's really going on in the world."
"Unfortunately, I am quite aware of the limitations imposed on educators in Texas. Still, I would ask you try not to get carried away in your criticism of the textbooks."
"I can back any of the arguments I put forth, Mr Pettyjohn.."
"I'm sure you can, Rose, but try to keep it in the range of lively discussion and not on the edge of riot in the classroom."
"I think you would have to speak to those who were screaming objections to me, sir. I tried to keep my arguments objective."
"A laudable goal, but do remember the effect you have on others. And I have spoken to young Mr Harris about his objectionable language, I assure you. I don't want to have you compromise your principles, but try to keep it civil, OK?"
"I'll try, sir."
"Good. And I must say that I'm almost sorry you're the last of the Jordan sisters to attend this school, your family has made my job both interesting and enjoyable. Now get back to class, young lady."
"Yes, sir!"
"Hey Rose!"
"Hey yourself, Luke."
"So what did old Pettypoop do to you?"
"Why Luke, we had a mature discussion."
"Right! You can leave the horseshit out on the ranch, Rosie. I know better."
"Look Luke, you're cute but sometimes you're an ass."
"Which is where the horseshit comes from when you're not flinging it."
"Well, you certainly seem to be full of it today."
"C'mon! What happened?"
"I promised not to start any more riots and he agreed our textbooks were lacking a great deal. Like I said, a mature discussion."
"That's all?"
"That's all. I suppose it helps that my sisters went through the same crap before me and my parents didn't put up with any crap then, either."
"And I'll bet Pettypoop won't be heartbroken when you graduate."
"Could be, Luke. Could be."
Hey Luke! How they hangin'?"
"Yo Gary. They're hangin' 'bout the same place they usually do. What's up?
"Not much, same old same old…"
"You have much trouble with the upperclassmen?"
"Not really. The admin keeps a pretty tight reign on that shit. You going out for soccer this year?"
"Nah, I'm trying out for the chorus. I screwed up my knee over the summer and the Doc doesn't want me to play for a while."
"That's tough. Wait a minute…"
"I'm waiting…"
"This couldn't have anything to do with you sitting with those Jordan girls at lunch, could it?"
"Jealous, Gary?"
"Shit yes! You're one smooth mover, Luke, but you better be careful."
"Hey Gary, just because you're a lummox doesn't mean everyone else lumbers around like a dinosaur with the girls."
"Smartass. I mean those Jordan chicks have a rep. My older brother tells me how one of the football jocks kept bothering one of their big sisters and he got his ass whupped."
"Really, Don't look like they could be whuppin' too much ass. They ain't the biggest gals in the state."
"Tricky, though. When this football type kept bothering her, they set it up and when he tried one too many times one of the other sisters dropped a loop over the guy sweet as you please and hog-tied him like a calf. Left him lying on the ground for the rest of the team to untie."
"Feisty ladies, aren't they?"
"Just be careful hanging around them, bucko. I'm not so good at untying knots."
"Hey - I just sat with them at lunch. It's not like I'm about to propose marriage or anything."
"You just want to make beautiful music together, eh?"
"Even I'm not stupid enough to use a line like that, Gary."
"Couldn't prove it by me, dude."
"I'm not that anxious to be sporting rope burns. Unlike you, I have some cooth."
"But you're still going to join the chorus, I bet."
"Of course. I like to sing."
"And the Jordan babes have nothing to do with it."
"Well, Rose is kind of cute."
"Ha! I knew it!"
"Oh stuff it, Gary."
Chapter 11
"All right, you rapscallions, quiet down! We are here to make a joyful noise and not a cantankerous cacophony."
Mr Persis Vehar, music instructor and leader of the school chorus, called the group to order. To a red-blooded Texas teenager and wanna-be bad-ass, the name Persis would seem to be an irresistible target, but the wanna-be bad-asses soon learned that Mister Vehar could slice great, bloody gobbets from their ego using his voice alone.
"Hey Mr V! Can you quote scripture in school like that? You could get into big trouble!"
"Mr Mason, sadly it does not surprise me that you are still displaying your abysmal ignorance of American History. If you had been listening in class instead of trying to attract the attention of Miss Wright, you would have learned that in 1962 the Supreme Court ruled in Engel v. Vitale - that's case 370 U.S. 421 for you classroom lawyers - that the government was prohibited from forcing students to recite government-composed payers. Since then numerous ignorant rabble-rousers have attempted to distort that simple ruling for their own benefit.
"At no time has prayer in public schools been illegal, else the entire student body would be incarcerated within minutes of starting an examination. However, Mr Mason, you have succeeded in using five precious minutes of my greatly limited time to assuage your ignorance. Should you choose to try such a gambit again I would warn you that you will need the intervention of your chosen deity to save your soul, if not your corporate person. Having succeeded in your ploy, we will now attempt to turn our efforts to making music.
"I can see by your smiling faces that… Oh Great Ghu! Do my eyes deceive me? Could there once again be three Jordan clones in this august body? I distinctly recall Miss Roxy Jordan walking across the stage at graduation last year. Is there an inexhaustible supply of Miss Jordans in a warehouse somewhere ready to be thawed and reanimated at need to confound my perceptions?"
"I'm Rose, Mr Vehar. Relax, I'm the last one," answered Rose. "Dad got fixed when he realized they had reached perfection when I was born."
"In the vernacular, Miss Jordan, I would say 'TMI.' However, it is reassuring to know that all things must end at some point. Now, having wasted a further five minutes, we shall begin. Since you have been brought to my attention, Rose, I would like to hear a scale in A…"
"Uh… Hi Rose."
"Hi yourself, Luke."
"You have a very nice voice."
"Thank you, you nailed your scales, too."
"I was sweating, though."
"Me too!"
"Even after all the singing you do with your sisters?"
"I don't like being singled out, y'know."
"I guess. Uh, Rose?"
"Yes?"
"Has anyone asked you to Homecoming yet?"
"They'd have to be an awfully fast worker, Luke. I've only been in school for less than a week."
"I suppose so. Then could I maybe… uh…"
"Yes, I'd go with you."
"Awww jeez. You would?"
"Why not? Besides, my sisters would be there if you decided to get fresh,"
"I wouldn't… I mean… Uh…"
"Relax, Luke. Sometimes my mouth gets ahead of my brain. I'm good at saying stupid stuff."
"I know it's short notice, but with the game so soon after classes start it's hard on us freshmen."
"Well, now you don't have to worry. I suppose I should meet you at the game since I live so far away. Sometimes I think Texas is just too big for comfort."
"You guys live on a ranch, right?"
"Yup. Yee-haw, git along little dogie and all that crap."
"Is it true one of your sisters hog-tied a guy who got smart?"
"Sure was! Still game to date me?"
"Will that sister be at the game?"
"You're safe, Luke. She's in college now. 'Course I could always wear my spurs if I needed to."
"I think I can behave."
"You do realize you'll have to come out to the ranch and meet my folks? I'll hide Dad's horsewhip first, just for you."
"Gee, thanks. I knew you were a sweet girl."
"Let me give you the house phone number since cells don't work at home."
"Jeez - you are far out!"
You sound like my grandpa - he still thinks he's a hippie sometimes. 'Far-out, man!' "
"Sounds like an interesting family."
"You don't know the half of it, Luke. I might just tell you about it someday, though. Not until after homecoming, though. I don't want to scare you off."
"You've got a what?" exclaimed Travis.
"I've got a date for homecoming."
"Oh my aching back. How did that happen? You've only been in school for a few days!"
"They kind of rush Homecoming and Luke asked me to go to the game with him. You couldn't have forgotten Homecoming, after all my sisters had dates for the game."
"Yeah, but not as a freshman."
"I'm a fast worker, Daddy. What can I say?"
"Thank the Lord you're the last one. I'm getting too old for daughters with first dates. Especially this daughter."
"C'mon Daddy! Nobody has a clue I'm a special girl and nobody is ever going to find out. Ever since Raina hog-tied that jock the boys at the school don't take chances with us Jordan girls. Luke even talked about it when he asked me for the date."
"Seems my daughters' legend just keeps on growing. That leaves me with a problem, though."
"Oh-oh. Problem, Daddy?"
"Yeah, problem. As your father I have a duty to deliver the Dating Lecture before letting you go out on a date. It's in the rules, you know."
"Oh please! As you just reminded me, I'm the last of seven. I've heard that lecture six times, complete with the color commentary. I could probably deliver it myself by now."
"That's not the problem, Rosie."
"Oh?"
"I could give the girl's Dating Lecture in my sleep by now, but for you I wonder if I have to come up with a boy's version just to cover all the bases."
"Really, Daddy! I can't get anyone pregnant because of the hormones and I can't get pregnant myself. Besides, I'm not stupid enough to get involved with sex until I get my operation. Anything else you need to know?"
"How do I cope with such a smart-alecky daughter, maybe?"
"With resignation? Can I invite Luke out this weekend to meet you and Mom? I told him he had to pass inspection before we could go out together."
"Good girl! OK, go and make your call, but don't tie up the phone all night, darlin'."
"Come in, come in! Greeted Ruth.
"Mrs Jordan?"
"Please, I'm Ruth. Please come in, Rose has practically been bouncing off the ceiling waiting."
"If they time it right she could probably meet Luke on the way down. He's been flying ever since your daughter told him yes."
"Rose, why don't you show Luke the horses while I talk to his mother?"
"Sure! Come with me, Luke!"
"I have to admit I was amazed that it only took a couple of weeks in the school for someone to ask her out. Of course I went through it with her sisters, but she set a new speed record."
"I suppose that's because Luke set some speed records of his own. He's usually pretty shy around the girls; I think it was her singing that caught him."
"Runs in the family, we all love to sing together."
"So I've heard. Magnificent Seven?"
"Sometimes I wish my girls hadn't gotten tagged with that name. It sounds too boastful."
"Pretty catchy, though? How did it happen?"
"My oldest has no sense of shame and when she had to come up with a name for the act at the county fair open mike; she just thought it was cute. She had never seen the movie and practically died laughing when I made her watch it. Couldn't find seven more opposite types if you tried."
"I have this picture of what The Magnificent Seven would be like as a musical with seven girls in mangy buckskins and cute little hats!"
"You just had to plant that image in my brain, didn't you?"
"Maybe it will keep your mind off what our children are getting into?"
"If I know my daughter she's got Luke up in the saddle and is teaching him to ride. That girl is besotted with horses."
"Luke isn't exactly ready for the rodeo, but he does know how to ride."
"I hope you have plenty of time available - those two may be halfway to Austin by now!"
"His name's Golly. He's used to lots of different people riding him."
"Wow! This is great, Rose!" exclaimed Luke.
"I love riding! We could go check on a couple of the watering stations and find Dad so you can meet him. He's only part ogre so you should be safe."
"You must take after your mother then. Your skin doesn't look knobbly or green."
"Lots of makeup. It's a gift to be able to hide it so well."
"You're a strange cookie."
"Hold on, let me find out were the Ogre is laired up." Plucking the walkie-talkie from her saddle, Rose keyed the send and spoke, "
"Hello Papa Bear, this is your ever-lovin' Little Rose of Texas. Where are you hiding, Dad?"
A few seconds later the answer came.
"I'm out by the South gate to the Northwest pasture."
"Luke and I are going to head out so you can meet him, but I want to show him one of the watering stations on the way."
"Good idea, Thornbush. Check out number six and then I won't have to do it."
"You got it, Dad. See you in a few."
"I'm looking forward to it. Out."
"Thornbush?" asked Luke.
"All roses have thorns, but when Daddy would tickle me with his day-old beard when I was a kid I told him that I was the one who was supposed to have thorns, not him. The name stuck, but please don't spread it around the school."
"Who? Me?"
Good boy! Let's ride!"
Meanwhile, back at the house.
Hello Papa Bear, this is your ever-lovin' Little Rose of Texas. Where are you hiding, Dad?
The conversation from the base radio rather surprised Luke's mother, Laura.
"I just wish it were as easy to track down my brood," she observed.
"It was either that or ankle monitors, and you know how fussy girls can get about the proper jewelry."
"You're bad!"
"We have a lot of acres out there, the radios make it much easier to find the people when you need them."
"And how many times have you heard 'I must have been in a dead spot' when someone doesn't want to be found?"
"You must have daughters, too."
"Doesn't matter son or daughter, if they're doing something they shouldn't there is a certain lack of communication involved."
"You've got that right."
"It must be a challenge living so far out in the country. It seems like I'm spending half my time ferrying kids around to one activity or another. How do your children amuse themselves without movie theaters and malls and all that stuff?"
"Travis and I keep them busy with chores, which isn't such a hardship since they all love riding and working with the animals. There are the chickens and goats and horses and gardens to tend. They sometimes help with the cattle, although Travis and the hands do most of that work. We spend a lot of time cooking to feed us all, as you can imagine. I have to say that when the girls got old enough to drive it did make our lives easier.
"I couldn't imagine this brood without Internet access, though. I grew up without even a phone and managed to make it through, but I have to wonder how my mother stayed sane. I'm not sure I could have done a good job homeschooling without the 'net. It's not cheap out here, but when you figure the cost of gas and time to go into a library for research, it pays for itself."
"Interesting. I never thought of homeschooling, but then the school is only a mile or so from our home. Obviously, dating has got to be a problem for the girls."
"So it is, and I'm glad you were willing to come out for a visit. Rose has been practically jumping out of her skin to have someone want to take her to homecoming."
"I had to laugh at Luke, he was so thrilled that Rose wanted to go with him. It's really the first time he has been interested in dating."
"It's old hat for us, having had six sisters go through the first date stage, but Rose doesn't care what her sisters did, it's her turn now."
"Luke's our oldest, so it's new to us. You can be sure we've set some limits and given him the talk about how to be a gentleman."
"And it looks like it worked. He seems to be a very nice boy. If he likes riding then Rose will be his friend for life. That poor girl was so torn - she wanted to wear a skirt to be high fashion and impress Luke but wanted to go riding with him and had to wear jeans. Practicality finally won, but it was a battle!"
"Kids!"
"Rose wasn't all that thrilled that she has to go with her sisters after the game, but no solo dating until she's sixteen."
"Same with Luke, but once they get interested…"
"No keeping them down on the farm…eh?"
"Or the ranch, I take it."
"Unless they can pay for the gas to get to town."
"You're wicked!"
"Just passing on what I learned as a teen, myself. I thought my folks were just so mean to make me pay for the gas if I took the car!"
"Different point of view, these days."
"You betcha!"
Chapter 12
Luke and Rose rode for some time across the grassland until a copse of trees came into sight. Rose changed course slightly to head for the trees and they soon arrived at the watering station.
"Now that shoots that old saw all to blazes, don't it?"
"Just what are you going on about, Luke?"
"You know, that old saw about how you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. He looks like he wants to drain the whole thing by himself."
"Let him have a bit more, then take him away. Some horses will drink themselves sick and Golly is one of them."
"No horse sense, I take it?"
"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."
"Say what?"
"An old saying. One that even makes sense."
"Sort of like 'Anyone can ride, it takes talent to stay on'."
"Saddle glue. Works every time."
"Doesn't that spook the horse? All those old jokes about the glue factory?"
"Not if he has the sense God gave a horse."
"I'll bet. I was kind of expecting a windmill."
"We've gone all modern these days, solar powered electric pumps - see the solar arrays over there?"
"Practical, I suppose, but not so picturesque.
"You try fixing a sticking windmill in the winter with a cold wind blowing, I'll take a sheltered pump house over picturesque any time."
"Not so romantic, I suppose."
"Hey, I'm gonna have to know you a lot better before I think romantic."
"I didn't mean…"
"I'm joking, Luke."
"Sometimes it's hard to tell."
"Sometimes I forget that people I don't know well don't appreciate my family's humor. We're pretty isolated out here. That's part of the reason my folks wanted me to go to a regular high school, so I get to know more people. Sort of grind off the rough edges."
"Um, Rose?"
"Yeah"
"There's a whole bunch of cows headed this way."
"Well duh! We're standing here in the shade by their water. Of course they're heading this way."
"They look awfully big."
"Maybe a ton apiece."
"Are they friendly cows?"
"I've never asked them."
"They won't trample us or anything?"
"Nah. Just don't get between them and the water or a tree that looks like it could scratch an itch for them."
"Say, I've always wondered if cows can get sunburned. They stand out in the fields all day under the sun."
"How do you think they get tanned leather?"
"Really"
"Jeez! You'd believe anything, wouldn't you?"
"You really are weird."
"Still want to go to homecoming with me?"
"Do we have to take one of these cows as a chaperone?"
"Now there's an idea that even Daddy never thought of."
"They aren't going to step on us or anything, will they?"
"Not if we move away from their water. We can sit on the bench Rita and I built so we had somewhere comfortable to sit while we were hiding from Mom and Dad."
"You built that bench?"
"Sure. When you live way out here you learn to do a lot of things for yourself. You could call me a Jackie of all trades if my folks didn't give us all names that started with 'R'."
"Yeah, what's with that?"
"Too many long winter nights with nothing to do but think. I guess they got creative once they were done making babies."
"Jeez Rosie!"
"It's not like you can grow up with sheep and goats and cows and not see how they make babies. Works the same way for people, you know. I'm going to be and aunt in a few weeks."
"Cool! Uh, you sure those cows are friendly? They're awfully close."
"Think of them as big, dumb lawnmowers. Don't bother them and they won't bother you."
"I guess. I don't get to meet too many cows where I live."
"Funny, I get to meet whole herds of them. You never answered my question."
"Huh?"
"Still want to take me to homecoming?"
"Of course I do."
"Then we better get going so you can meet Daddy."
"Is he more dangerous than a bunch of cows?"
"Herd of cows, Luke. And don't say it!"
"Say what?"
"Luke, we're going to have to work on your knowledge of hoary old jokes. When someone tells says 'herd of cows' the response is usually 'of course I've heard of cows.' Which I have heard a million times and cautioned you not to say it the million and first."
"And I've told you a zillion times not to exaggerate."
"Better. There's hope for you yet."
"Does that mean you'll come to the Homecoming game with me?"
"All you have to do is pass the Daddy Test."
"Did you two get here by way of Austin?" asked Travis.
"We took the scenic route, Daddy," replied Rose.
"Just where did you find anything scenic in the dry grass, girl?"
"I brought the scenery with me, Daddy. Isn't he cute?"
Poor Luke was turning a bit pink.
"Actually, we stopped and checked out the watering hole and I told him how the pumps work and just what we do on the ranch."
"And I suppose you did some canoodling on that bench you built?"
"Canoodling? What are you talking about?"
"I'm going to have to speak to your mother, she needs to teach you proper English. You need to build your vocabulary, my girl."
"Can… noodle… Like maybe a can of spaghetti and meatballs? I don't think the solar array would power a microwave to heat it up at the watering hole."
"Ack! I'm glad you're the last one, I don't think I could stand raising any more children."
"You have grandchildren now, Daddy"
"Just so long as they aren't from you canoodling with Luke here."
"Not going to happen, Daddy, if you mean what I think you mean."
By this time Luke was hoping for a convenient stampede to come along and put him out of his misery. What had he gotten into?
Turning to Luke, Travis stuck out his hand and said "Don't worry, son, it takes time to get used to this family. Pleased to meet you."
"Pleased to meet you too, sir."
"We're pretty informal out here, call me Travis, son. This here's Buck and Speedy, a couple of the hands that keep this place running. I see you passed the first test for boyfriends out here, you can ride and not fall off the horse."
"At least not yet, si… Travis. I haven't done all that much riding."
"You hang around Rose much and that will take care of itself. Sometimes I think the girl was born in the saddle."
"I'm always willing to learn."
"Good answer. You pass the second boyfriend test. Just treat her right or her sisters might have a surprise for you."
"Like getting hogtied? I've heard the story before."
"Then maybe you know what you're getting into. Watch out or she'll have you riding rodeo with her."
"Actually, I've been thinking about trying out for the Rodeo Club for my phys ed credits this year."
"Really? Then Rose, looks like you've got yourself a partner. If you're serious, come on out and you two can get in some practice whenever you can."
"That would be great, Travis."
"Speedy here got the name from barrel racing, he might be able to give you a few tips."
"Ayup! Ride fast and don't fall off." came the deadpan answer.
"See? Nothing to it."
"Now we're trying to convince Rose to enter the sidesaddle competition," offered Buck. "She looks purty good in those long skirts and frilly blouses."
"In your dreams, Buck, not unless you want to enter with me. I'd love to see you wearing a skirt and riding a horse sideways."
"You gonna teach me how, lil lady?"
"I'll even train the horse if you do it, Buck."
"Will you two give it up?" asked Travis. We've got fence to mend, boys. Rose, go riding off into the sunset with your boyfriend, you hear?"
"Yes Daddy."
Homecoming.
Rose was a little disappointed that Luke couldn't pick her up for their date, but with Luke living a couple of blocks from the school and Rose in the back of beyond it didn't make much sense. Besides, Luke didn't have a driver's license, being only fourteen. The road to romance often has some roadblocks.
The weather was fair but cool, perfect weather for the annual Homecoming game. The whole scene was a bit surreal for Rose, being homeschooled she was not used to large crowds. She was actually grateful to Luke when he shyly took her hand, she didn't want to get separated and it felt pretty good to know she was not going to get separated.
They found a spot higher up in the bleachers where they could see the field clearly. The stands were packed, so they had to sit close together. Neither one minded that at all.
Unfortunately, Rose found watching a bunch of macho dudes bashing into each other and tossing balls around to be a pretty silly exercise. With all the hollering and cheering she couldn't even talk to Luke. Then there was this wave thing that everybody thought was so great. Really? Did the people come to watch the game or do an exercise routine?
She felt much more comfortable at the dance afterword, and Luke was a very nice dancer. They were both pretty shy at first, but the slow dances were very enjoyable. After the festivities, they walked to Luke's place hand-in-hand and she kissed him at the doorstep before they went in to greet their parents. Very Nice!
Rose briefly cursed the idiots in the state legislature who wouldn't let her start HRT for years and years yet! As if she were going to change her mind. Not that she was going to let Luke get her in bed or anything, but a girl liked to have options.
Chapter 13
"Are you out of your mind?" asked Travis with a long-suffering look that could only be perfected by the father of seven girls.
"I knew it - send the girl off to college and she gets Big Ideas. What the heck are they teaching you at that place?" Ruth wondered.
"How to be a Big Thinker, of course," replied Roslyn, her voice coming from the speakerphone. "I may have grown up on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, but I have big plans for my life. As the middle sister I will need to set myself apart from the herd, but I'm willing to let the rest of my sisters in on the fun."
"I'm gonna puke if she keeps that up," Roxy replied, performing a very realistic gagging noise."
"How ladylike," snorted Rose.
"Roslyn," Travis cut in before physical mayhem ensued, "Do you realize just what is involved in packing up the whole family and going to San Antonio? Have you talked to Ramona and her husband yet?"
"They're in, the offer includes housing, meals and a day in the beauty salon for all of us."
"Now that's something I've always yearned for," commented Travis sarcastically."
"It couldn't hurt, dear," replied his wife.
"Why, oh why, did I have to become the poor lonely male in a family of girls? I think I'm gonna steal Rhoda's line and whine it's not fair!"
"Worse things could happen, Daddy," commented Rose with a smirk.
"Could you maybe give us a few more details, dear?" asked Ruth.
"Sure, Mom! The school puts on a big Christmas show every year, and it's a major deal. We raise money for charity and all the hoi-polloy attend to show off to the poor common folk. Sorry - too much time in Professor Burke's class, I'm starting to sound like a Liberal.
"Anyway, Professor Stein was all excited when she found out I was one of the Magnificent Seven and practically dragged me into her office to beg us to perform this year. She saw us at the State Fair and was impressed."
"And well she should be, daughter," replied Travis fondly.
"She promised they could find housing for all of us, even if they have to split us up, and the students in the cosmetology course will give us the full treatment the day of the show. You can come early and see the sights in San Antonio, like the Riverwalk and the Alamo."
"Seems I remember something about the Alamo," said Rose.
"They'd toss you out of Texas if you didn't and then we'd be the Magnificent Six," Rita observed.
"Do we have time to make new outfits for the show?" asked Ruth.
"Well, they do have an Ugly Christmas Sweater contest as part of the festivities."
"Over my dead body!" cried Travis. "My girls will not be seen in reindeer boobed sweaters or any such atrocities!"
"We might get away with just Rita and Rose this year, the older girls haven't grown that much."
"I bet I could fit Rita's dress from last year, so all we would need is one for her," offered Rose.
"But do I have enough fabric?"
"You certainly ordered enough last year, dear," Travis said.
"Watch it, buster or you might find out how much material it takes to make a dress for all the members of the family."
"C'mon, Daddy! It could be fun," pleaded Rose.
"Why, oh why, didn't we stop at six?"
"Daddy!" Raina said with a grin, "We're all old enough to know just why you didn't want to stop."
"I think it would be fun."
"Me too!"
"Me three!"
"Well, I suppose…"
"Yay Daddy!" cheered several of the siblings.
"I'm sure we'll have a good time, dear," spoke Ruth.
"As long as I don't have to go bail for more than four of 'em, we should be OK"
"Daddy!"
"This is really cool!"
"At thirty-seven degrees it ought to be cool, griped Travis.
"And I suppose you'd complain if we had a white Christmas."
"Ask your big sister if she appreciates taking care of a baby in this weather."
"The poor kid is looking like a pile of fuzz with so many blankets around him."
"The weather report says it will be warmer on the day of the concert."
"I hope so, I don't want a frozen throat."
"Might I remind you the concert is indoors?"
"Oh…"
"Who's taking care of the baby while we're singing?"
"Your father, of course."
"I thought I was done with diapers when Rose started to use the toilet."
"Just the first round, Daddy. Training for being a grandpa."
"I don't know. I'm not sure what to do with a kid who's name doesn't start with an 'R'."
"Put a bottle in one end and a wipe the other end."
"Might I remind you that Raina is breastfeeding?"
"You could always start HRT so you could take over," offered Rose gaily."
"I'd tell you your were crazy but you're already seeing a shrink."
"Really, Daddy," Raina said, "Little Adam can go for twenty minutes without eating. Besides Terry will be here tomorrow and he can take care of our son if you're too chicken."
"Bwaaakkk!"
"Aren't we supposed to be sightseeing, not arguing?" asked Ruth.
"I knew there was a reason I married you, love. They sure do light up The Riverwalk pretty for Christmas."
"Can we ride the boats?"
"Can we go shopping?"
"Can we find a bathroom?"
"Can I go home?" whined Travis.
"Daddy!"
"See Daddy?" Roslyn crowed, "Men can survive being in a beauty salon just fine."
"I don't know… Rose might not need hormones after being there all afternoon."
"Cool! Wash, set and estrogen, all in one easy package."
"You could use a trim, dear."
"Not you, too? I thought my wife was supposed to protect me."
"I'll protect you from looking shaggy."
"Don't worry, Daddy. You said you were through having children, so even if you get an overdose you'll be fine."
"Your mother might have something to say about that."
"You should be safe, dear. I wonder if they make dosimeters for estrogen? If it starts beeping we rush you to a boxing match or something."
"Please! Bull riding or something like that. I get beat up enough at the hands of my family."
"You'll survive the experience, dear."
"OK. As long as we get to test it out to see if I've been overdosed when we get back to the room."
"Daddy!"
"That was fun!"
"Yeah, it's been too long since we sang together."
"I know, but with people growing up and moving away it isn't so easy to practice any more."
"Sounds like Adam wanted to join in the choruses, though."
"Got to teach him to stay on key, though."
"It will come in time.
"I bet he'll be a big hit at the nursing home tomorrow."
"I bet we'll be a big hit."
"Of course."
"I'm zonked, singing together takes a lot out of you."
"Sure does. I'm for bed."
"Me too. Too bad tomorrow is our last day together."
"But Christmas is almost here and we'll all be home, right?
"You bet. Sleep well, girls."
Chapter 14
How did four years go by so fast? Seems like just Yesterday Rose was starting high school and in a few minutes she would be walking across the stage to receive her diploma. Travis and Ruth smiled to think the entire family was there to watch, and not incidentally keep track of the active four-year-old and frenetic two-year-old grandchildren who were bored with the whole affair.
Not only was the family watching, but many of the ranch hands were there as well, resplendent in their finest cowboy outfits. They had seats on the lower level of the bleachers to accommodate Grandpa Ben's wheelchair, he had a hard time walking these days but was beaming with pride as his latest grandchild graduated from High school.
Rose was beaming as well, but not because she was graduating high school. For her, the real graduation had come two years before when she turned sixteen and started HRT. The changes were coming along nicely, her hips were wider, her waist narrower and her breasts were growing enough she had dug out her first pair of forms so that she could keep wearing her bras without discomfort.
After four years of high school, crowds of people were not so daunting. Her days of home schooling seemed to be in the distant past now. She smiled at Luke and Betsy, her first boyfriend and his steady girl, as they found the places on the rows of seats. Fate had placed them next to each other as their last names started with the same letter. Rose's current heart throb, a boy name of Stephen Zago, was, as always, at the very end of the line.
Rose idly speculated if being Rose Zago would mean she was always last in line. She and Steve had been an item for more than a year now, and he was still interested even after she told him she was trans.
That took a lot of trust, and Steve had proved worthy of that trust. Sure, things were a bit strained when she finally told him, but by then she was sure he was someone she could spend her life with. He was one of three people in her school (besides her sisters) who knew she was trans, and all three were willing to accept her for what she was and not what they wanted her to be.
Would Steve still be her boyfriend by the end of college? They were going to be going to the same college, so there was hope. Rose the Romantic had been sure the Luke and she were going to be together forever in wedded bliss from the moment they first kissed. She was in love, the world was beautiful. The dry grasslands would bloom and flourish as they rode hand-in-hand into the sunset.
Well, that was four years ago. The love of the ages evolved to a lasting friendship before the end of the school year, but by then Rose was getting a feel for what was happening in the wider world. Unlike so many high-school romances, Luke and Rose did not hate each other's guts by the time they decided they were not meant for each other. In fact, Rose was the one who pointed Betsy toward Luke after the breakup. She was pretty proud of her skill at matchmaking, especially seeing the ring on Betsy's finger that graduation morning.
Rose was looking forward to becoming an Aggie - a student at Texas A&M University. In the dim bygone reaches of the nineteenth century A&M started out as Agricultural & Mechanical, but now they were just letters in homage to the past. In a twist of fate, she had become the sibling who wanted to continue to run the ranch and keep it in the family.
Odd how things worked out. When Roosevelt Andrew had been born, Travis was thrilled to have a son to carry on the name and keep the ranch in the family. When Roosevelt Andrew made it clear she was Rosie Ann there was some regret, but Travis was a wise man who knew better than to try to control his children's lives. He had seven daughters and that was that. So the son who used to be was determined to become the daughter that carried on the family tradition.
Now in his late forties, Travis was beginning to understand his father's complaints that getting old is not for sissies! A good hot bath after a day in the saddle was more welcome than ever. The occasional twinges when picking up something heavy were annoying and damned if there hadn't been a couple of nights when he fell asleep even though Ruth was hinting she was horny.
Now that was really annoying!
The whole idea of passing the ranch to the next generation was starting to acquire a new layer of meaning. While all of their children still had a love of the ranching life, they had found places as doctors and programmers and even a lawyer. Ruth and Travis could be proud of the children they had raised together.
For the last time, they watched one of their children stride across the stage in her ridiculously high heels to receive a diploma. Now they would have to wait about fourteen more years for the first grandchild to do the walk.
Nice to have plans for the future.
If the four years of high school passed quickly, the first two years of college passed both slowly and quickly. Quickly because she was studying hard to become a competent ranch manager and slowly, since Rose's body seemed determined to mature far too slowly for her taste. The doctors finally decided that Rose had stopped growing and she could finally have her GRS in the summer between her sophomore and junior years.
That's where things got complicated.
Genital Reconstruction Surgery is no small thing, and comes with a pretty steep price tag. The Jordan family was pretty well off, but even a well off family could be daunted by such bills. Fortunately, the Jordan spread had several oil wells within its boundaries, wells that produced a small amount of oil at a steady rate. Exxon or BP would turn up their nose at the minuscule quantities of Jordan Crude, but month after month, year after year, those barrels of oil were trucked off and the proceeds put into a rainy day fund.
Some years, when there was a glut of oil it hardly paid to sell the stuff. Other years, when the price went crazy and the speculators were just as crazy, the Rainy Day account filled nicely. The Jordan accountants would move the money from the Rainy Day fund into stable investments once a year and with the magic of the market the Rainy Day Fund was quite substantial. Even with judicious tapping for sending seven girls to college, there was enough to make Rose's surgery a reality.
Not only were there sufficient funds, but Doctor Ramona Jordan had almost completed her surgical residency and was to be part of Rose's surgical team when the time came. Psychiatric permission was no problem - not many transgendered folks had eighteen years of Real Life Test under their skirts.
Thus it was that, one week after exams were over, Rose and Steve - still her boyfriend and now her fiancee - packed their bags and moved into the guest room at sister Ramona and husband Rubin's home. In an evening of too much wine and lots of silly talk, the sisters were able to make jokes about big sis finally getting to stick a knife in her annoying little sister. Doctors have some pretty strange ideas about what constituted humor.
This doctor was also one of the Magnificent Seven and, with the wine-lowered inhibitions the oldest and youngest sister were soon singing together. Pretty soon Ramona's husband Rubin was drawn in and what else could Steve do but provide the fourth part and a Barbershop Quartet was born. Up a Lazy River and The Sunny side of the Street gave way to more contemporary tunes until the hour grew very late. A wonderful way to get to know the other's mates and to forget that in a day or two Rose would be in an operating theatre.
The time came and Rose was settled in the hospital bed, IV in her arm and nothing in her stomach. The nurses on the floor were startled to hear the doctor and her patient singing a very upbeat version of The Kink's Lola as the pre-op checks were completed.
With Steve holding her hand, Rose watched her big sister push the plunger that sent the anesthetic into her IV and seemingly seconds later she woke up staring at a blank ceiling with gummy eyes.
The usual post-surgery recovery ensued - the less detail about that the better - and after a few days Rose was back in the guest room with Steve at her beck and call. Rosie had to laugh when she showed Steve the dilator set, his reaction was pretty typical. As she healed she offered to let Steve take a turn helping, but the poor guy took quite some time to work up the nerve.
He did hold up a mirror for her when the bandages came off, but he was trying very hard not to freak out at the sight - there was still enough swelling that it wasn't exactly the sort of thing anyone would fantasize about happening to his lover's body. Rose figured if he stuck through her GRS he had to be a keeper, and indeed he did stick.
Time passed, as it always does, and Rose felt up to returning home. Her parents' home, that is, and what she sincerely hoped would be where she and Steve would eventually call home.
She was careful about stairs, but they were manageable if she took it easy. Her biggest regret was that her favorite horse gave her such a pitiful look when she visited him, but there was no way she was going to be riding any time soon.
Ruth and Travis were cool with Steve sharing her bed, after all they had been in an apartment together for the past year, but somehow you revert to being a little kid when you come back to the home you grew up in. Besides, sex was not really in the cards for a few weeks yet. Well, intercourse, anyway.
It was good to be home, to hang out with the ranch hands and introduce Steve to them. He fit right in, pleased to be putting the things he had been learning into action on a real ranch. As Ruth and Travis watched the couple over the summer they grew assured that the ranch would be in good hands when the time came for them to pass it on.
Steve had an excellent grasp of the economics as well as the physical load of ranch life. The hands soon realized this was the guy who would one day be the Boss, and he damned well knew what he was doing. All the hands knew someone who had been forced to move on when a family ranch failed, and they were relieved that this ranch would be there for the duration.
When they returned to their apartment at school in the fall, they gave Rose's new equipment a thorough test. She had been right all along - she damn well was a woman!