Comedy

Transport-What?!

Tom has hidden the fact that he is in truth Amanda for too long.
It is time to tell her parents the truth. That he is a she!
But when her parents utterly fail to grasp the concept, Amanda has to get creative.
She borrows terminology from her parent's jobs.
It works, but with very unusual consequences.

Memoir of a Stealth Transition - 3 of 39

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Chapter 3 - Sonya Henie's Tutu!

Up in my bedroom I sat at my desk in a daze. Until a half hour ago I wouldn't have thought anything could have made me think of anything but not being able to try on my new clothes. I wasn't happy with my mother for trying to distract me from my funk, but - Sonya Henie's Tutu! - she had managed it.

Stuck With A Genie Or Two

When Andy finds a genuine Genie bottle he mistakes it as junk.
Giving it to his best friend, Kyle. A mistake of epic proportions, as Kyle knows exactly how to exploit a genie. Or does he?
This story won't end with just one instance of being screwed over.

Grandma on Guard - Chapter 14 of 14

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Chapter 14 - The Pinch

Paula the elder
"Are you our of your ever-lovin' mind?" cried Detective Matt Pierson.

"Hold on," I said.

Pulling out my smartphone I made a show of checking it.

"According to this, that's the twenty-seventh time someone has asked me that question today. Since I lost my mind some time ago I guess I must be out of it."

My Uncle Fifi: My Beautiful Laundrette

Trapped as a shapely French maid and hiding out from the mob, a smart-mouthed rogue must prevent his family from unwittingly being drawn into a criminal scheme even as he is confronted by his two most remorseless adversaries: Mom and Dad. It's a twisty whodunit with a thrilling hovercraft chase that--wait. No, it's not. It's a spirited comic romp with snappy banter, money laundering, and unspeakable acts with a ripe pineapple!

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If The Shoe Fits

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“Alex. It’s just one night. No one will ever know but us. Please, I’m begging you, do this for me?”

I didn’t say yes. I didn’t say no. I didn’t nod or shake my head. I just let Lara slip my athletic socks off my feet and, one after the other, slide the high-heeled shoes into place.

They fit like they were made for me.

 

IF THE SHOE FITS...

by Meancat

Memoir of a Stealth Transition - 2 of 39

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Chapter 2 - Catalog Shopping

When I started to get interested in bras and girdles I was pretty much out-of-luck, no sister and my mother was considerably larger, but back then the bras went for $1.49. I could actually buy that stuff and try it on!

Memoir of a Stealth Transition - 1 of 39

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Chapter 1 - Maundering

Maunder. A good, old-fashioned word. You don't hear it much these days unless it's in the cliché about old people maundering on about the past. Since I just hit my 70th birthday, I guess I'm licensed to maunder, so here goes.

Grandma on Guard - Chapter 13 of 14

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Chapter 13 - The Sting

Paula the Elder
There's a saying that old age and treachery will triumph over youth and exuberance every time. It may even be true if my arthritis isn't acting up, but somehow I managed to talk the the detective into letting me come along when we watched the Sasquatch do his thing.

Grandma on Guard - Chapter 12 of 14

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Chapter 12 - The Shopping Chapter

Wednesday morning, 10AM at the mall
"Titia! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be asleep!"

"Ah, but my mystical powers over mythical beasts have changed all that."

"Come again?"

"Right here in the store in front of everybody?"

Grandma on Guard - Chapter 11 of 14

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Chapter 11 - Baiting the Trap

"Thanks for coming in early, you two. I know it's a pain when you work nights to have to talk with us daylight types."

"No problem, Brian. Besides, this is our last week on nights before we start working with Al to learn the job."

"That's true, but I still thank you for coming in, both of you."

"You're welcome. I assume we need to talk about a Sasquatch trap?"

Grandma on Guard - Chapter 10 of 14

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Chapter 10 - The Bar Crawl

"So, we didn't scare you off last week?" asked Chloe.

"Not when there's a chance the guy with the hands might be back."

"Hey! You gotta give the rest of us a fair chance this week, complained Raina.

"Besides, you told him you were flying to California or some such." Shelly smirked. "Don't think he'd buy that you're suddenly in love with him and flew back."

Grandma on Guard - Chapter 9 of 14

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Chapter 9 - The Dating Game

Titia
My phone started ringing, an unusual occurrence in my usually solitary life.

"Hey girlfriend!"

"Hey yourself, Paula.

"You survive the night back at work with Mom?"

"You wouldn't believe what happened!"

"With Mom around, I'd believe anything. More burglars? More cops? Any doctors involved this time?"

"It was a quiet night after we got promoted."

Grandma on Guard - Chapter 8 of 14

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Chapter 8 - Back to the Old Grind

Paula the Elder
"You ready to face the world again, Titus?"

"Reality sucks, partner. I don't want to be Titus, dammit. It was worth betting clobbered to be Titia for so long and to meet your family. Even if my family doesn't understand me, I do miss them."

"People can change, Titus. There's always a chance."

Grandma on Guard - Chapter 7 of 14

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Chapter 7 - Dancing the Night Away

[Sorry for posting the wrong text - here's the right chapter]

Paula the Elder
"I can't do this! whined my houseguest.

"Then sit home and tend to your knitting. Your arm looks a lot better tonight."

"I'm not going to be playing basketball any time soon, but I did feed myself at lunch."

"That's progress. Just don't try to tango tonight."

"I'm not sure I want to try to dance at all."

Grandma on Guard - Chapter 6 of 14

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Chapter 6 - Connection

Paula the elder
I woke up to the smell of coffee brewing. Now that's something that doesn't happen every day when you live alone. I stumbled into the kitchen to find Titia fully dressed in a cute yellow top and a lively print skirt. The green alligator slippers weren't quite what fashion demanded, but I figured her arm wasn't up to putting on socks and footwear quite yet. Ditto for makeup. That works fine for me, but we could take care of that after we ate.

Grandma On Guard - Chapter 5 of 14

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Chapter 5 - The Houseguest

Paula the elder
"Nice place you got here," I commented.

"It will do. You know how much we get paid for sitting around and watching TV all night."

"And knitting. Don't forget the knitting."

"At least I'll have a warm scarf by winter if I get tossed out of this place."

Grandma On Guard - Chapter 4 of 14

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Chapter 4 - The Invalid

Paula
"You look all in, Titus," I said as we entered my little apartment. You get the shower first and I'll rustle us up something to eat, then we can crash. I should have been in bed hours ago."

"Me too. Just point the way."

Grandma On Guard - Chapter 1 of 14

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Chapter 1 - Grandma On Guard

Paula
Call it what you want: night shift, night guard, night watch, graveyard shift, anchor watch if you're a naval type, it means you are awake while everybody sane in the world is sound asleep.

My Uncle Fifi

Hilarity ensues when a smart aleck on the run finds himself hiding behind a petticoat and a feather duster in order to elude the gangster who wants him dead. (Or maybe just wants him, period!) A fun and lighthearted comedy of errors filled with elaborate deceptions, mistaken identities, and a guy stuffing his boobs into a French maid's costume! What's not to like?

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The Trouble with Binky

2020 January - Leap of Faith Story Contest

The Trouble with Binky
by Rosalie Redd

I screamed through the gates of the estate in my Testarosa. My name is Maximilian Wallace Brockton. I am a world-renown dancer and actor. I live on this estate with my sister. I suspect we have a man-servant or two that live on the estate somewhere. I don’t really know.

Coming into the foyer, I was greeted by my sister, Binky. She had been working in her workshop, as is her usual hobby. She ran in and lept into my arms.

Feral Saga Chapter 13 - Treachery

Logan in Crisis

Feral Saga Chapter 13 - Treachery

by Nyssa

A Marvel X-Men Fanfiction starring Wolverine and Jean Grey

The thirst for a life now shattered permeates our thirteenth issue. Logan and Scott have rescued Storm from Sabrettoth’s lair, but at great personal cost. A cost that may soon be felt by Jean just as acutely. Logan must now find a way to move forward, to seize the chance at a life when everything feels as if it has turned to ashes in her mouth. And even with Sabretooth dead, Magneto continues to plot and plan, with mutants seemingly willing to sacrifice their lives for his “cause”. Can Logan hope to overcome her deep emotional wounds to find it in herself to care enough to continue to fight? And exactly what will she fight for?

Anything you can do I can do better

End of Junior year in High School: Peter

"Anything you can do I can do better; I can do anything better than you."

I hate whenever my sister sings that song. It means that she managed to get one over someone, usually me. This time she spent all of ten minutes gloating. She really isn’t better than I. She just lies and cheats all the time. The problem is that our parents, our teachers, our class-mates and everyone else think that I am the cheat, and not a very good one at that. Mary and I are in the same year. We are NOT twins. She is gorgeous. I’m no great specimen of a man. When Mary wants to really set me off she calls me her little sister. Mary is born in January and I in December which makes her the big sister. Something she never tires of reminding me. She is the most popular girl in school, cheerleader, girlfriend to the next Quarterback. Anything you can think of she’s got it, or to be more exactly, stolen, lied or cheated to get.

NPN North pole News

Today's top story.

Santa has little choice but to cancel Christmas this year. Apparently jolly old nick has not fully recovered from last years incident where a redneck blasted him with a facefull of buckshot for apparent breaking and entering.

Rudolf and Cloe are burnt out from having multiple fawns. All does, though they all have healthy glows and are popular with the other fawns.

Feral Saga Chapter 12 - Reckoning (Part 2)

X23_sketch by Jason Metcalf

Feral Saga Chapter 12 - Reckoning (Part 2)

by Nyssa

A Marvel X-Men Fanfiction starring Wolverine and Jean Grey

As we continue the twists of the twelfth issue in part two, Logan and Scott are deep inside Sabretooth’s hideout as they try to rescue Storm. But things are already diverging from their plans. A cloaked ship and a new mutant are also there, adding to the mystery. Unfortunately, Logan has discovered that Don has come on the mission and she now has to worry about him. What will happen when Logan finally encounters Sabretooth?

Polly Chapter 25 of 25 - A New Direction

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Chapter 25 - A New Direction

"I can't believe that the week is almost over," sighed Scott.

"I know what you mean. It may not have been the vacation we expected, but this is a lovely place and I do want to come back again."

"It's odd to think that this may be the last time our family vacations together, even if our eldest child is not staying with us. I'm not sure I'm ready to have an independent child go off into the world to find their own way."

"Feeling like an empty-nester already, dear?"

"I suppose I am. Just because we aren't the first doesn't make it any easier."

"Peter will still be living with us, or perhaps Polly will, while she's in school. Oh my! I just called our son 'she,' didn't I?"

Polly Chapter 24 of 25 - The Hot Springs

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Chapter 24 - The Hot Springs

Polly, I've got to hand it to you," Little Rose said. "You have a lot of nerve taking your parents on a hike to a clothing optional hot springs. For that matter, you have a lot of nerve going anywhere where clothing is optional! "

Polly Chapter 23 of 25 - Sisters

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Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

Chapter 23 - Sisters

"Good book, Vicky?"

"Oh, hi sister. Gee, that still sounds weird. It's OK so far, but I just started it."

"Kind of like me, then?"

"What?"

"Being Polly is OK so far, but I've just started."

"So I suppose Sheila can read you like a book, then?"

"She prefers reading in braille."

Polly Chapter 22 of 25 - Pillow Talk

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Chapter 22 - Pillow Talk

Each day, any day, no mater how the humans packing the surface of this planet act, react, stumble, fight, love or hate, they must bow to the reality of physics. Sailors fear that if all the passengers on a boat should move to one side it could capsize, and that very thing has happened. Not even if some demagogue should convince the entire population of the Earth to all move to one side of the planet would it change the rotation of the Earth.

Polly Chapter 21 of 25 - The Inevitable Happens

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Photo by Wendy Winarno on Unsplash

Chapter 21 - The Inevitable Happens

It happened so slowly that nobody really noticed it happening, but by mid-summer Polly and Sheila had moved from being 'Summer Help' to join Little Rose as 'Family.' The hotel had been in the Russo family for generations, so it was sad that Russ and Rose had no children to continue the family business.

Polly Chapter 19 of 25 - A Day Off For Sisters

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Chapter 19 - A Day Off for Sisters

"What the f…" Polly cut herself off before she could finish, this trying to be a girl thing was starting to be automatic.

"Oh crap!" groaned sheila. "I forgot to turn the alarm off."

"Then kill the noisy thing before I do."

Groping toward her phone she stabbed at it until it stopped making that awful racket.

Polly Chapter 18 of 25 - An Interesting Sunday

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Photo by Mohammad Ali Jafarian on Unsplash

Chapter 18 - An Interesting Sunday

Sunday morning. The alarm went off at its usual time, much to Polly's distress. Even more to her distress, Sheila was up and disgustingly awake.

"C'mon sleepyhead, get up and look at the day the Lord has made." Sheila ordered.

"Mumble, mumble."

"Say that again?"

Polly Chapter 15 of 25 - Graduation

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Chapter 15 - Graduation

"Peter! Hurry up or we'll be late!" called Pete's mother."

"Coming!"

"Nice dress, Pete"

"You, my annoying little sister, are wearing a dress. I, as befits my status as a graduate of an institute of higher learning, am wearing an academic gown, the traditional garment of those who have attained academic excellence.

"Well la-te-dah! I think Sheila's red gown looked much better yesterday."

Polly Chapter 14 of 25 - The Secret Spreads

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Chapter 14 - The Secret Spreads

By the time Polly and Sheila reached Rosemary's door, Polly was getting nervous. Very nervous. The day had gone surprisingly well. As one more anonymous girl wandering the aisles of the thrift shops, Polly was taken for just what she wanted to be: a teenage girl. Sheila's comment about people seeing what they wanted to see was very true. But now she was going to meet someone who knew Sheila well, and actually talk to her. If things went as planned she was going to change back to being Pete in this girl's house, there would be no secrets between them.

Polly Chapter 13 of 25 - Acquiring a Wardrobe

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Chapter 13 - Acquiring a Wardrobe

Fashion accessories may be one of the hardest subjects for a novice crossdresser to grasp. After all, most males have little choice in such matters, Even those of a more unrestricted outlook on life basically have three choices: ties, rings and, if so inclined earrings. As a student, Pete only wore a tie under protest on Sunday mornings when his Grandmother was going to be present at church. His class ring was the only adornment on his fingers, and it was big and clunky as such things are wont to be. Earrings were still out of the picture, although he was pretty sure that one of the first things Polly would do on the way to her new job was to have her ears pierced, and the heck with what happens in the fall when Polly had to go into storage.

Polly Chapter 11 of 25 - The Summer Job

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Chapter 11 - The Summer Job

Since Sheila's family attended the Baptist church near Pete's house, Sunday afternoons at Pete's place soon became a regular practice. Thankfully, both sets of parents enjoyed each other's company and Pete's little sister was becoming interested in boys around the age of Sheila's younger brother.

Polly Chapter 10 of 25 - Confession

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Chapter 10 Confession

Over the next few months, Pete began to feel like a double agent. Something clicked between Pete and Sheila, and a medium-to-long distance romance began to blossom. Medium-to-long distance because, they didn't live too far from each other, there is no such thing as a short drive in Portland traffic. They went to different schools so that shot holding hands in the halls and after school activities together, not to mention the old standby of doing homework together.

Feral Saga Chapter 12 - Reckoning (Part 1)

(Image after the break this time because, spoilers)

Feral Saga Chapter 12 - Reckoning (Part 1)

by Nyssa

A Marvel X-Men Fanfiction starring Wolverine and Jean Grey

As we face the twists of the twelfth issue, we have split our tale of reckoning in two, for this part is too big for just one issue. Logan is thrilled to find herself still female, even in the aftermath of the changes wrought by her mutant healing factor and the meddling of Neural Net (and, frankly, Hank). While she never would have suspected the fulfillment and love she could find as a woman, there is a rightness and hope she had never experienced before in her long life, at least what she could remember of it. But now she must quickly learn how to deal with her new self, because thrilled or not, there are still many challenges ahead. Challenges that will affect all of those she loves, and perhaps the world? Magneto and Sabretooth still have Storm and the Uncanny X-Men are still reeling and trying to react with no idea what Magneto is planning.

Polly Chapter 8 of 25 - Confusion

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Photo by Daniele Levis Pelusi on Unsplash

Chapter 8 - Confusion

Confusion. A fine old word, comes from the Latin confundere, meaning mingle together. Now there's a concept that describes a young crossdresser - or maybe trans-something - if there ever was one.

Polly Chapter 6 of 25 - The Date

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Chapter 6 - The Date

Once Peter and Sheila were over the peak of the mountains and descending the western side the road followed a stream that splashed and danced over the rocks as it ran through the verdant forest. At each turn in the road a magnificent new vista was revealed and Sheila was enchanted by the scenery.

"I had no idea any of this was here, Pete. It's beautiful."

Polly Chapter 5 of 25 - The Inquisition

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Chapter 5 - The Inquisition

Saturday morning found our hero up early, excited and conflicted. Excited to be going on a date, excited because Sheila was a vivacious, sexy, intelligent girl who wanted to go on a date with him. Conflicted because Sheila was entirely too intelligent and perceptive and seemed to be able to see through into the parts of him he often tried to hide from himself.

And Sheila had actually kissed him.

The Night I Escaped From The Zoo : 5 / 5

The Night I Escaped From The Zoo : 5 / 5

By Iolanthe Portmanteaux

There was no sign of the rowboat in the river. No trace of the bathtub in the sky. I was back in my town, back in the normal world. Everything was right again, except that I was someone else, and had a month to learn a new language and a new sport. Perfectly normal.

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