Sarah Carerra - 1.05 - When Did He Become A Girl?

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"Come on, Ethan. Megan never seemed to bother you this much before."

"Yeah," he said. "But before there was always an end in sight. Brett was always coming back. I'm not so sure that will happen now."
 

Sarah Carerra
Chapter 5 - When Did He Become A Girl?
by Megan Campbell
Copyright  ©2009 Megan Campbell
Released: October 26, 2009

Editor Note: The images used for this story were purchased and used under royalty-free license* from Istockphoto.com . ~Sephrena

Author Note: Please email me at AngelJediGirl (at) gmail (dot) com before posting this story to any other site. Posting to a pay site is prohibited.

Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.

*  *  *

Chapter 5 - When Did He Become A Girl?

The rest of the weekend was pretty much uneventful. My brother was weirded out by my cross over, but he'd seen me dressed often enough that he seemed fine with it by Sunday night.

Monday morning was about as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't realize that I had committed myself to this girl thing so much until then. Putting on my boys clothes Monday morning actually felt odd, and I wasn't sure that I liked wearing them anymore. If nothing else, it seemed out of character. I did wear a pair of panties instead of boy’s briefs, making it slightly more bearable.

I usually wore my hair in a ponytail to school, but I was afraid to do so today. If I pulled my hair back, I was worried that it would bring to much attention to the studs in my ears. Why didn't I wait until the end of the school year before getting them pierced? I blamed my mom.

Worse yet, I wouldn't even be able to remove the studs until after the school year ended!

Instead, I wore my hair down, trying to keep it covering my ears to prevent any tormenters from finding out. Hopefully it would work.

Anyway, I felt oddly out of place walking to school with Emily that morning. We'd spent enough time together on Sunday that she seemed slightly down when I wasn't dressed up as Megan. When Ethan joined us at his house further down the street, he didn't seem to notice anything different.

When we reached the school, it became apparent that Ethan was either in the minority for noticing differences, or he was just too nice to say anything. There were quite a few people staring at me while I walked down the halls, and I heard at least one person ask who the new girl was. Could wearing my hair down instead of in a ponytail be enough to cause confusion about my gender? If they did see the earrings, it would help tip the balance the wrong way.

I even had a couple of teachers look at me curiously when they were taking roll, wondering if I really was the same boy that had been sitting in the same seat the week before. I honestly didn't think I looked that different.

"Maybe it's your attitude," Emily said at lunch after I had explained the looks I'd been receiving all morning. "I mean, ever since Saturday night you've been acting differently. Perhaps they can see the difference."

Ethan had a confused look on his face during this discussion, and I realized that I hadn't seen him all weekend. He didn't know about my decision to live as Megan.

"What happened Saturday?" he asked obliviously. Before I had a chance to respond, a look of understanding crossed his face. "Oh, that's right, how did the demo CD thing go?"

"Fine," I replied. I was nervous about discussing my new life in such a public setting and I was hoping it could wait until after school.

"Tell him," Emily said, destroying that idea.

"Fine," I whined, knowing that I needed to tell him sooner or later. I leaned into the table and the two of them leaned in closer to hear my whisper. "I'm going to start living as Megan."

The shock on his face didn't quite mirror the shock Emily had shown upon learning the news. I got the feeling he didn't want me to do this about as much as Emily had been waiting for it.

"Why?" he asked, louder than I would have liked him to. "I mean, why now?"

"Well, they want a female singer," I explained. "Not a boy with an alto voice."

He grimaced at this news, indicating my earlier assumption had been right. He didn't want to lose his best male friend. How could I tell him that the male friend he knew seemed to be slipping farther and farther away with each passing day?

"You know Mary wants me to," I continued to explain. "Now's as good a time as any to do it."

He continued to look downtrodden for the rest of lunch. I knew that he would come around, but things were going to be slightly different between us. Perhaps he could see it after that point, but he seemed to treat me differently. He was treating me like he did when I was dressed up as Megan, even though I wasn't.

The rest of the school day passed in much the same manner. People seemed to be questioning my gender more than I thought they should, but at least nobody seemed to notice my earrings. If they had, at least they didn't mention it.

Eventually the three of us were walking home, one day closer to the end of the school year.

"Are you okay?" I asked Ethan. He still seemed slightly down.

"Yeah," he replied regretfully. He had his hands in his pockets and had been staring at the ground for nearly the entire walk. "When are you going to start?"

"Last Saturday," was my answer. He stopped walking, and stared at me. Turning to face him, I noticed that he seemed even more depressed. "Come on, Ethan. Megan never seemed to bother you this much before."

"Yeah," he said. "But before there was always an end in sight. Brett was always coming back. I'm not so sure that will happen now."

I was confused at his rationale. I could always decide that living as a boy was the right way to go. His face seemed to say otherwise.

"You're too comfortable as Megan," he eventually said. "You always have been. It's only a matter of time until you realize it and decide to stay a girl."

I laughed lightly. Was he serious?

He saw my dubious expression, and laughed lightly himself. "I know, I know, you don't believe me. But it's true." Emily was nodding her head in agreement.

"What makes you say that?"

Ethan looked like he didn't quite know how to put the explanation into words. It was Emily who was able to respond. "Megan is happier. You're always so depressed when you go back to being Brett."

"I am not!" I countered.

"Yes you are." Ethan said. "Now I know why you were so down this morning while walking to school."

"I wasn't down."

"Yes you were," Emily stated. I really didn't know what to say. I'd never noticed this before. It couldn't possibly be true, right?

My life was changing too fast.

*  *  *

An hour later my mom was driving me to my hair appointment. I was beginning to think that this was a bad idea. The hair appointment, not the Megan thing.

My ears were hard enough to hide, but getting a female haircut would be downright impossible to hide! Mom didn't seem to think it would be a problem, but she didn't have to live with it for three weeks!

Emily had wanted to come with us, but her family was going out to dinner together for a cousin's birthday. Ethan didn't want to set foot anywhere near a salon. I was cool with that. It gave me time to talk to my mom about the things that had been pestering my mind since our walk home from school.

"Mom, am I happier as Megan?"

She looked startled at the question. I know I felt relief when I changed into a pair of girl’s jeans and a pretty red top after school. I was beginning to wonder if there was truth to what Emily and Ethan had said.

"What makes you ask that, honey?" she asked me, avoiding my question entirely.

"Em and Ethan said I was," I replied. "They say I get depressed when I go back to being Brett. Do I?"

She looked uncomfortable at the question. I realized that even though she really wanted a daughter, she wanted to make sure that it was my decision, not hers.

"Don't take this the wrong way, honey, but they're right," she said. "I remember the very first time you dressed up. Remember when your cousin Chloe was visiting? She somehow talked you into that pretty dress of hers. You never wanted to take that thing off."

"That's not true!"

She looked regretful now, but she kept going. "It is, Megan. Every time you've dressed up, it's been difficult to get you to stop. I thought for sure you would have gone full time as Megan before now. It's who you are."

I stared at her in shock at that statement, my mouth agape! Mom thought I was a girl! She'd thought that for years now, apparently! Had the decision already been made?

"Don't look at me like that, young lady! I'm only telling you the truth!" She seemed to be upset at my reaction. "I don't want to tell you what you should do with your life, but you need to take this decision seriously."

"I am," was the only response I could give.

*  *  *

Chapter 6 - Girlification, Times Two
Coming Soon...

 

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Comments

Altho the story plots of

Altho the story plots of "Sarah Carrea" and "I'm with the Band", are similiar in nature, re: two Alto voiced boys dressing as girl singers, they are both rather fun reads in their own rights and I am presently enjoying both. Jan

We want more!!!

I agree that your story has some common elements with I'm With the Band, but there are definite differences that make it an enjoyable read in itself. I've read the other story before, so really am getting my full-on girl fix with your delightful tale. Couldn't wait for you to catch up with FM, so I hunted up your story over there and dug in. Still, with as many chapters as you say you've completed, I was hoping for a few more posted. I'm sure that you want to keep some in reserve for the times your muse grows silent, but I for one would love to see more, more, more! *I know, I'm greedy like that!*

SuZie

SuZie

I like that you continue to show different sides of her

Andrea Lena's picture

...in some ways, she's confident and secure in who she is, but it still is a big choice for her and a huge change that will change her life. I loved the dialog with Ethan; he anticipates "losing" his friend, "Yeah," he said. "But before there was always an end in sight. Brett was always coming back. I'm not so sure that will happen now."Excellent and authentic tension throughout. Thank you for this story!

She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

The tension may be two-fold

Ethan fears losing his best friend, but he may also fear becoming attracted to Megan as she becomes more real to him and all her other friends.

SuZie

SuZie

As Johnny Carson used to say

Andrea Lena's picture

...I did not know that...but your point is excellent, as usual! Hopefully fears will fade and friendship will reappear, even if in another form or expression.

She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

An "interesting" three weeks...

It certainly looks like the next three weeks worth of plot time are going to be "interesting" (in the Chinese curse sense) - I wonder if Megan will unofficially arrive full-time before the three weeks are up...
 
 
--Ben


This space intentionally left blank.

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

The Guy Mode Fantasy

I can certainly identify with Eve's confusion. Others seemed to know before I did. My own family was, and still is the most clueless. Some of the passages in the story bring back memories so clearly.

These days, I don't switch back; can't seem to make it credible. I did try for just a day a year or so ago. I wore Jeans and a Man's shirt; my old glasses, and stuffed my hair under a ball cap. I did what ever I had been called to do then fled home. By the time I got there, I was on the verge of sobbing; stipping off my clothes; shreiking with distaste. I sat there on the couch with a blanket around myself; looking at the offending clothing as if it were some loathsome monster; hoping I never had to do that again.

Gwen

Change and acceptance

ALISON
'are all there for Megan from Mum and her friends,which
is delightful,but it is something that she will have to come to terms with herself.Just great.Alison

ALISON

Sarah Carerra-5

Brett can be a boy's, or a girl's name. For years, Brett Somers was on Match Game, she was an actress. So, Brett boy can actually have three different names for his driver's license and I.D. when he goes girl for good: Brett, Megan, and Sarah.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

It's good

Angharad's picture

and I'm enjoying it.

Angharad

She is well on her way,

Too bad she could have felt like she couldn't do it at school. Or could she?