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Editor Note: The images used for this story were purchased and used under royalty-free license* from Istockphoto.com . ~Sephrena
Author Note: Please email me at AngelJediGirl (at) gmail (dot) com before posting this story to any other site. Posting to a pay site is prohibited.

Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.

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Chapter 30 - The Finals Countdown

After church the following morning, Ethan, Emily, and I were sitting in Sarah's room waiting for the American Top 40 show to start. This was the first week that my song qualified, and Scott thought there was a good chance it would be listed. I really wasn't sure if it was popular enough.

"Where do you think it will be?" Ethan asked. He looked slightly uncomfortable with our surroundings. Much like Josh, he felt ill at ease with the feminine decor of the room. He'd get over it eventually, I hoped.

"I'm guessing high 30's if it makes it," I told him. "It's only my first song."

"I don't know," Emily said immediately. "They play it all the time on the radio now. It’s more popular than you think."

I smiled at her. It was nice of her to try to play the song up, but it was unlikely to be very high on the list. I was a relative nobody with only a week of exposure. There was no way the song would be very high on the list, if it made the list at all.

"Play us one of your other songs," Emily changed the subject. "You said you had more, and I want to hear them."

I smiled. Nobody outside of the studio had heard my other songs. "Okay."

I stood up from where I had been sitting on the couch and walked over to the table where my guitar case was sitting, retrieved the guitar, and walked back to the couch.

"Nice guitar," Ethan said when he saw it. "When did you get that?"

"Thursday morning," I informed him. "Dad felt I needed a replacement for the one Austin broke."

"I thought that you..." the glare I gave Ethan was enough to stop him from finishing his sentence. "Alright, it was Austin's fault."

"Anyway," I said, trying to get back to the music. "I think you'll like this one."

I smiled at Emily before starting to play. It didn't take her long to realize that I was playing 'Ever After'. Her face lit up immediately when she recognized the song. I continued to sing for the two of them, and I could see their faces watching me in awe. Eventually, the song came to an end.

"You're using 'Ever After' as one of Sarah's songs?" Emily asked excitedly. I knew how much she liked the songs we had written together, and I was worried that she would be upset with me for not asking her first.

I nodded, "'Ever After' and 'Enchanted Forest'. You don't mind?"

"No," she said immediately. "I love those songs! And the way you were singing 'Ever After', it was amazing!"

"Come on," I said. "You've heard the song before. It hasn't changed at all."

"Maybe," she shot back. "But you sing it differently. It's almost like you have a confidence now that you were lacking before."

Had I changed? I knew that I was more at ease singing now. My voice matched my body, which it did not do when I was living as Brett. Did that make a difference in the way I sang?

"I know what it is!" Emily exclaimed. "You aren't scared to sing! Not like Brett was."

"I wasn't scared," I argued back.

"Oh yes you were," she insisted. "I bet you have no problem singing in public now."

I didn't know the answer to her implied question. I hadn't sung in public since becoming Sarah. All of my singing had been in a nice, lonely sound booth at the recording studio. Was I still scared to sing in public? The thought of the concert seemed to tell me the answer was yes. I wasn't sure how I was going to pull that off.

But I wasn't shying away from it, either. I'd tried to avoid singing when I was Brett. Other than the times I had tried to keep from singing to give away Sarah's secret, I had never been placed in that position since I started living as Megan.

I sang at church.

That was something I hadn't really done before. I'd mouth the words or sing softly, but that was it. But the last two weeks I had been singing! No one had said anything to me about it, so I didn't know if they noticed. But I had been singing! For the first time in my life I wasn't ashamed of my singing voice. I actually enjoyed singing now!

And why shouldn't I? I had a great voice. I really did like to sing. It was even making me a lot of money. Singing was my life now, literally. Every single day involved some part of Sarah. That wasn't going to change anytime soon either.

"I think you're right," I finally replied. "I'm not ashamed to sing anymore."

"Megan," Emily said with a look that told me I had just said something stupid. "You never needed to be."

I just sighed. She wouldn't understand how I had felt before I realized who I truly was.

Then I had another thought. This one was about Emily.

"Emily," I said. "You should get credit for helping me write these songs."

That brightened her day a lot, if the smile that spread across her face was any indication.

"I'll talk to my dad," I told her. "But I bet you should even get some of the money the songs make."

She looked surprised at that information.

"You mean it?" she asked. "I mean, we were only writing it for fun."

"You’re right. But you still helped, and you deserve the credit," I told her. "I'm sure my dad would agree. But, did you come up with a name yet?"

"Name?" she asked in confusion. Last night we had discussed the need for them to have a second identity much like Sarah was mine. Without it, the risk of exposure was too great. After a moment of thought, understanding lit her face. "Oh, you mean for the redheaded me."

I nodded.

"What about Chloe?" she asked. "Chloe Carpenter. She's been Sarah's next door neighbor since they were two, and they do everything together."

"Chloe," I pondered the name. "I like it. You really could be a Chloe when you wear that wig."

"Wait," Ethan interrupted. "Her story is the same as yours and Megan's. How is that hiding your identity?"

"Well, I figured the closer the story is to the truth, the easier it will be to remember," Emily explained. I nodded in agreement.

"That's kind of what we did with Sarah," I added. "Her back story is pretty much my own with only a few modifications to help hide my true identity."

"Oh," Ethan said. He looked slightly downcast.

"You don't have to do that if you don't want to," I mentioned, guessing at his true feelings. "What did you come up with?"

"Xander Dailey," he stated with confidence. "You've known him since kindergarten, and he's been the popular guy at school."

"Xander?" I asked. It was definitely a...different name.

"Yeah," he defended his decision. "If I have to dress all preppy like, I'm at least going to have a cool name."

"Okay, okay," I placated him. There wasn't anything wrong with the name. He just didn't seem like a Xander. "It's your identity. I just want to make sure you have thought this through. You could be using the name for a while, I'd hate for you to get sick of it."

He seemed to rethink his decision for a moment before speaking. "No, I like it. It sounds slightly sophisticated, not boring like Ethan."

"You do realize that you modeled your life story on the truth," Emily interrupted us. "After complaining about it."

"No I didn't," he argued back. "I never was very popular, but Xander is."

"Yes," Emily said with a superior smile. "But all of the important pieces, like how long you've known Sarah, are true."

That got him to think again. It was obvious that he hadn't realized he had set up his identity in the same way we had.

We continued to talk about their new identities, fleshing out the details until the show started.

"You really don't think your song is going to be listed?" Emily asked me again after I had expressed my opinion of where the song would sit on the charts.

"Probably not," I confirmed. We sat and listened to the countdown, pulling out our books to study for our impending finals. None of us really wanted to study, but it did give us something to do while we listened.

The first five songs came and went. Mine wasn't among them. I felt it extremely unlikely that I would be higher than 35 and figured that I hadn't made it this week.

"Better luck next week," I told the two of them. I honestly was ready to turn off the radio and go do something other than study. I'd been cramming way too much information into my head over the last few days.

"Come on," Ethan said. "Let's at least finish listening. Besides, I really need to learn some of this Math better."

I sighed. I was sick of studying. At least when I crammed the music into my head it was fun. History and English didn't compare at all.

The show continued. Top 30, Top 20, Top 15. No mention of 'Intuition' came from the sound system along one of the walls in Sarah's room. I was saddened that I hadn't made the countdown. I guess it was to be expected. It was my very first single.

The Top 10 were always the really good songs, of course. I finally closed my books and just laid back and closed my eyes to listen to them. Number 10 was a hip hop song, not exactly what I liked to listen to. Number 9 was a Taylor Swift song slowly making its way down the charts after being at the top for a number of weeks. Number 8 was, well...

"Number 8 this week marks the debut on the American Top 40 for a young woman who has recently started to gain a lot of attention," blared from the radio. Emily, Ethan, and I all perked up at the sound. It couldn't be...

"From the kiss she gave Josh Holliday at the Tween Awards to the posters that are selling like hotcakes, Sarah Carerra's name will soon be a household fixture to young tween girls and even some of the guys. Her sweet yet sexy look has captured the hearts of both the young and the old. The vocals that back her look create an even greater demand for her music, and many are already clamoring for a new song. Here's Sarah's debut hit single 'Intuition'.

I was stunned speechless! I could only listen in amazement as the opening chords I knew all too well filled the silence lingering in the room.

Number 8? It had only been released for a week! How on earth did it rank so high on the countdown?

The song continued to play, and I continued to sit there. I couldn't believe that I had broken the Top 10 with my very first single! On the very first week!

"I told you," Emily said when the song had ended and they had moved on to Number 7. I was still in shock.

*  *  *

"Congratulations, honey," Dad said later that evening while giving me a hug. I had just put on my PJs and we were sitting on the couch in the front room. "A Top 10 debut is not something that happens very often."

"I still can't believe it!" I told him as he let go. "How did it get so popular already?"

"Remember," he replied. "The song was calculated to be a hit by the record company. They just needed the right voice to sing it. You have that voice, Megan. This is only the beginning. Sarah Carerra is going to be a very popular girl."

"Thanks, Dad," I told him with a smile. "But that scares me."

"I know, Princess," he soothed. "But I'll be there for you every step of the way. Your mom and Austin too. And Emily and Ethan. I never should have kept them away from Sarah. I'm really sorry."

"It’s okay, Dad," I told him with another smile. And I was surprised to realize that it was true. Any lingering resentment I might have felt about his decision was gone. I had seen the pained look he'd given me when Emily found out about Sarah. He had learned his lesson just like I had learned mine. We were in this together, and that meant sharing the responsibility for the decisions in Sarah's life.

"Speaking of Emily," I changed the subject. "I think she deserves credit for helping me write 'Ever After' and 'Enchanted Forest'. She should get her name on the credits, at least, but also her share of the money."

My dad nodded his head, but he had a grim expression on his face at the same time. "I agree," he said. "But that opens up a lot of complications. Even if we use her fake identity, we would have to tell her parents. Are you sure you want to bring them in on the secret?"

I hadn't realized that giving Emily her share of the proceeds would mean letting more people in on the secret.

"They're like family, Dad," I answered him. "They won't say anything. Emily's dad is a lawyer, remember. If you're worried, you can make them sign a non-disclosure agreement, but I think we can trust them without it."

"What about Anna?" he asked. That was an unseen problem I had yet to think about. Anna wanted to do everything with Emily and me. My dad was aware of the relationship I had with her. If we started leaving her out all the time when we went to do Sarah things, she would start to get upset. But she was also ten years old. If there was anyone more likely to leak the secret, it would be her.

"I don't know," I replied. "I think she needs to know, and I hope she could keep it a secret, but she is ten. I don't know. Can't we just start with her parents and go from there?"

"Okay," he agreed. "Do you want to tell them, or should I?"

It would definitely be easier if I let him do it, but it was something I needed to do. My parents and Emily's parents had been friends nearly as long as Emily and I had been friends. But my relationship with them was different. I didn't exactly treat them like parents, but we were a lot closer than many people are with their friend's parents.

"I'll tell them," I replied. "They deserve to hear it from me."

"Would you like me to be there?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied with a smile. "I think that would be a good idea."

We sat in silence for a few moments before I brought up the next thing I wanted to talk about.

"Who's coming to the concert?" I asked.

"We don't really have any tickets to give out," Dad said with a grimace. "The band you are replacing managed to give away all of the tickets that would normally have been yours to give away."

"So..." I prompted. "What does that mean?"

"I talked to Josh," he replied. "He has a VIP section reserved for his family and friends. He said that there was space for your family in his box. He even said he could probably fit my family too, if they wanted to come. Oddly, he was curious to see if you, Megan, would be coming."

"He asked about me?" I asked in wonder. He couldn't even get my name right when I talked to him as Sarah after he had met Megan. I didn't even think he knew who I was.

"Well, he called you Maren," Dad replied with a grin. "But he seemed to be interested in you like he was interested in Sarah the other day."

"What did you tell him?" I had to know.

Dad chuckled slightly before replying. "I obviously told him you wouldn't be coming. But I, your mother, and Austin will all be able to watch the concert with his family. He seemed to be upset that Sarah's family wasn't going to be there, however."

"Any way to sneak in Emily and Ethan?" I asked hopefully.

"I don't think so," he replied with a frown. "It sounded like the VIP area was going to be pretty full already. I know how much you want them there, Megan. I'll see what I can do, but I can't make any promises."

"Okay." I accepted his answer for what it was worth. I know they both wanted to come. I wish my first concert could have been closer to home. Maybe it would have been easier then.

"Can you get me a couple of the posters?" I asked, changing the subject again. "Or at least one of the angel ones?"

"Sure!" Dad said excitedly. "I already had Max place an order for me to the company that prints them. I figured we could frame a few and put them in Sarah's room. They should be here in a couple of days. Do you like them?"

"I don't know," I told him honestly. "They look really good, but they almost look too sexy."

Dad laughed, but he seemed to grimace at the same time. I don't think he was comfortable with me discussing my sexuality with him. I really wasn't comfortable discussing it with him either, but this was also an agent/client discussion about my image on top of a father/daughter talk. Our recent fight over telling my best friends had taught both of us that we needed to work together to make this relationship work.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "Max and I decided on which pictures to use together. We thankfully agreed that we would stay away from the sexier ones."

"There are sexier ones?" I asked with worry.

"There were a couple of photos that were more suggestive," he said. "But we both felt that we should stick to a clean, wholesome image for you."

"That's good," I said, relieved. I couldn't imagine anything worse than what I had already seen. "You could have at least let me see them first. I was really surprised when we got off the elevator at the mall and I was staring at a large poster of myself."

That got Dad really laughing this time. Before long, his infectious laughter had me laughing with him. I guess the situation had been kind of funny.

"I'm sorry, Princess," he said. "Max was in charge of getting them printed up. I honestly didn't know that they were going to be available to the public that quickly. I'll make sure that we let you see them before we make any more, okay?"

"Okay," I told him with a smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Megan," Dad replied with a smile of his own.

The rest of the evening was spent watching TV with my dad. Mom went to Aunt Judy's after dinner, and Austin was at a friend's house. I think the time my dad and I spent together that evening was beneficial to our relationship. We grew closer as father and daughter during that time, and I knew that we would be okay. We would be able to find the balance we needed between family and career. I was sure there would still be rough times ahead, but I was confident we could work through them together.

Eventually, I headed for bed. I probably should have been studying for my finals, but I just couldn't muster the desire. I believed I was ready for the tests. Any more studying would be overkill.

I fell asleep that night with only one thing on my mind: Why hadn't Josh called like he said he would?

*  *  *

The following day was pretty stressful. Taking tests can be like that. Stress before it's handed out, stress while you take it, then a lot of waiting for the next one. I think I did pretty well, at least I didn't feel like I had forgotten anything important.

By the end of the day I was nearly ready for bed. Taking that many important tests in one day must be inhumane somehow.

While walking home with Emily and Ethan, I decided that I should bring up what my dad and I had talked about the previous night.

"I talked to my dad about the concert last night," I said. "He wasn't sure if he could get you two tickets.

"Awww," Emily whined. "Are you saying we don't get to come to your first concert?"

"I don't know," I told her honestly. "He said he would try, but it sounds like there isn't any room. Even if he can get you in, we'd still have to figure out plane tickets and hotel rooms and stuff."

The two of them looked depressed at my words. I really felt bad about that. I wanted them to be there just as much as they wanted to come, but there wasn't anything I could do about it.

"Is your family going?" Emily asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "Josh has offered to let them watch from the VIP section he has for his family. It sounded like it will be crowded in there now."

We walked along in silence for a bit. I think they were disappointed, but not nearly as bad as they would have been if they found out about the concert after it had occurred.

"Oh, Emily," I remembered the other thing I needed to talk to her about. "My dad agreed that you deserve credit for helping with the songs. But we'll have to tell your parents about Sarah."

"Um, okay," she stammered. "How come?"

"I think it has something to do with parental consent or guardianship," I told her. "I'm sure you'll have to sign some papers, and that means having your parents' permission."

"What about the rest of the family?" she asked me. "What about Anna?"

I sighed. "Just your parents for now. I want to tell Anna, but I'm worried that she won't be able to keep the secret."

Emily nodded. Thankfully she didn't take my statement the wrong way. We both knew Anna well enough to know that she was a blabbermouth. It was hard for her to keep secrets, and we learned to be careful about what we said around her while growing up. This was one secret that couldn't get out.

"She's going to be mad, you know," Emily expressed her opinion. "Not just when she finds out, but when we start spending less time with her."

"I know," I replied. "We'll think of something. Hopefully we can trust her and tell her the secret at some point."

"So why is your dad telling everybody now?" Ethan asked. "I mean, he was pretty adamant about nobody knowing before Saturday."

"Yeah," I replied disdainfully. "But he's seen the error of his ways. I think he's realizing that I need support to pull this off. We can't do it alone."

"Who else knows?" he continued.

"My family, you two, Scott, and Aunt Judy," I answered. "I think that's it."

"What about Mary?" Emily asked.

"Oh, and Mary," I replied. "And Julia - I guess there are more people than I thought."

"Who's Julia?" Ethan inquired. I forgot that he hadn't met her yet.

"She's my image consultant," I told him. "She makes sure that Sarah looks good. She actually guessed the secret when I met her the first time. But she's known my dad for a while, so she can be trusted. Oh, and she signed a non-disclosure agreement. That was something I didn't think you two needed to do."

That brightened their mood somewhat.

"My parents are going to some work party tonight for my dad's law firm," Emily brought us back to the topic at hand. "But they should be available tomorrow if you want to tell them then."

"Okay," I said. "I'll tell my dad. He wanted to be there when I told them. And they should hear it from me, Emily. Don't let it slip."

She giggled, but I knew she wouldn't tell.

*  *  *

The rest of the night was pretty boring. Somehow I managed to spend some more time studying for the last of my finals, but I was pretty much studied out by the time I climbed into bed that night. I couldn't wait to get back to the music. At least that was fun to study.

Tuesday morning dawned clear and beautiful. It matched my mood as I dressed and joined Emily and Ethan for the last real day of school for the year. With only a day of yearbook signing tomorrow, the end of the school year was approaching quickly.

I once again managed to make it through the day without incident, and with hopefully good marks on the tests. With finals done, the risk of tormenting me had also passed. Rather than tempt fate, Emily, Ethan and I agreed to leave quickly.

I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Mom's car sitting in the car lot waiting for me.

"Hi, honey," Mom greeted me when I opened the door. "Hop in. We can give Emily and Ethan a ride home on the way to the doctor's office."

"Doctor's?" I asked with some confusion. I didn't know I had an appointment today.

"Yes," she replied while the three of us climbed in. "The doctor called about twenty minutes ago. She wants you to come into her office and get an ultrasound before we meet with her again on Friday."

"Is everything okay?" was my first and obvious question.

"She said it was," my mother tried to calm my rising concern as she pulled out of the school's parking lot.

"She said this was to confirm the results of the tests you took on Friday. It wasn't anything to be concerned about."

That was easy for her to say. Even if she was as calm as she looked, which I doubted, it wasn't enough to stop me from worrying.

*  *  *