Sarah Carerra - 1.18 - The After Party

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"Dude!" I heard one of his friends try to whisper. "Your sister is hot!"

I felt myself blush again, but I didn't want to look over to see who had said it. I was hoping it was one of the two I hadn't met before.

Sarah Carerra
Chapter 18 - The After Party
by Megan Campbell
Copyright  ©2009 Megan Campbell
Released: January 18, 2010

Editor Note: The images used for this story were purchased and used under royalty-free license* from Istockphoto.com . ~Sephrena

Author Note: Please email me at AngelJediGirl (at) gmail (dot) com before posting this story to any other site. Posting to a pay site is prohibited.

Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.

*  *  *

Chapter 18 - The After Party

"How did it go?" Mom asked when I walked inside. She and Dad were sitting in the living room, waiting for me to come home. The smile on Mom's face made me believe that she had been watching the awards on TV.

"It went okay," I said. I tried not to let any of my conflicting emotions through.

She smiled at me. Obviously she had seen the kiss, and heard the speech Josh gave. Dad looked rattled. I guess the idea of one of your sons kissing a hot boy could be upsetting. Even if Mom seemed to be okay with it, I knew this girl thing was still upsetting my dad a bit.

I couldn't help the smile and blush that came unbidden to my face at Mom's look. She always seemed to know how I was feeling, and that didn't seem to have changed since I became Megan.

"Just remember to be careful, Megan," Mom said. "You've got more than one secret you're keeping from him."

I blushed harder. I couldn't believe that she could read me that well!

"It's not like that, Mom," I told her. "Yes, he's very good looking, but there is a lot about him that I can't stand. He's so aggravating sometimes, but seems to care a great deal at other times."

"Did he treat you right?" My dad asked, speaking for the first time.

"Yes, Daddy, he did," I replied. He looked relieved at my words.

"Good," he said and stood up from the couch. He came over to me and kissed my forehead. "Have a good night, Princess."

He then walked out of the living room and toward my parents' bedroom, leaving my mom and me alone.

"Is he okay?" I asked my mom while walking around the couch and taking a seat next to her.

"He's fine," Mom answered. "He seems to accept you as a girl, but he's still getting used to it. You dating already may be too much for him to process right now."

"But he set it up!" I exclaimed. "If he doesn't want me to date, he shouldn't have set it up!"

"I know, honey," Mom said and took my hand in hers. "But I don't think he realized what it would mean when he did. I don't think it really hit him until you kissed Josh on the cheek. The whole country saw that, you know."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I figured that would be the case."

"Can I ask..." she started before stopping to collect her thoughts. "I mean, why did you kiss him?"

"I don't know," I told her truthfully. "I surprised myself probably as much as I surprised Dad."

Mom chuckled lightly at my joke.

"Dinner didn't go very well," I continued. "He seemed interested in me, but he didn't care about how much of Dad's money he spent, then he was flirting with girls when he went to the restroom, but he got mad at me for talking to the waiter while he was gone. After we were done eating dinner, I was sure that we couldn't even be friends."

"What changed?" Mom asked the one question I was scared to answer.

"I don't know; something happened between the restaurant and the theater." I told her. "When we were walking the red carpet, he really seemed to care about my feelings. He helped me through the scary parts. I don't think I would have made it to the theater if he hadn't been there. It was like he was a completely different guy. And it wasn't even for the cameras, because he was doing it before we got out of the car."

"So you kissed him," she prompted.

"Not consciously!" I exclaimed. "I mean, I didn't even know that I was going to, he just looked frozen in place, and it just happened!"

Mom nodded like it was the explanation she was expecting. Then she asked, "What did you whisper to him?"

"Whisper?" I asked myself, trying to remember what I had said. "Oh! I just told him that he deserved the award."

Mom looked skeptical, but seemed to accept my answer.

"Do you want to see him again?" she eventually asked.

"I don't know," I replied once again. It seemed to be the answer of the evening. "He's nice and all. And he IS very attractive, that much I know. But I can't believe I'm even feeling that way. I've only been a girl for a week, Mom. How could I be having these feelings? I've never felt this way before!"

I was surprised to find that I was crying. My emotions seemed to be so close to the surface these days, and I didn't know why.

"It's okay, Megan," Mom said. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a comforting hug. "This is going to be a tough time for you. I don't know the answer to your question, but it's something you are going to need to think about. Mary can help you with that more than I can, but I'll always be here for you."

"Thanks, Mom," I said while I sobbed into her shoulder. "This has been a crazy week, and I still don't know how to handle some of this stuff!"

"You'll be okay, Megan," she comforted me again. "You're my little girl. You've been my little girl for a long time, even if you didn't know it. I know this is new to you, but you've been acting like a girl for quite a while now. These feelings shouldn't surprise you."

I was surprised though. I knew my mom had thought of me as her daughter for a while. She had said as much in the car on the way to the salon the other night. But I didn't realize I had been acting like a girl for that long. I mean, if that was the case, wouldn't everyone at school be making fun of me or something? Someone would have said something, I thought.

I almost didn't believe Mom's statement, but she seemed so sincere, I had to believe her. I knew that I had been getting close to going full time as a girl. I'd started growing out my hair and started dressing more androgynously a couple of years ago. But I never thought that I had started acting differently!

"I'm not telling you this to upset you," Mom continued. "I just want you to know what I see."

"I feel so lost!" I cried into her shoulder. "I mean, I thought I was a boy, but everything seems to make so much sense when I dress up as Megan."

"Honey," my mom started to say. Before she could finish the front door opened again and we heard Austin and some of his friends laughing. Before I knew what was happening, Mom had pushed me down into the couch before she stood up.

"Austin!" she yelled at him. He and his friends froze immediately, or at least stopped talking. I couldn't see them and I finally realized why I had been pushed into the couch.

"What?" he asked, unsure of what he had done wrong.

"Take your friends back outside for a few minutes," she said in a more comforting tone. "You're sister isn't...decent."

"Oh!" he responded a second later. "Ok."

I heard them shuffling back toward the door. The last thing I heard before the door closed was, "Since when do you have a sister?"

"Come on," Mom said when the coast was clear. "Let's get you out of that wig."

*  *  *

Fifteen minutes later the wig had been stored in the armoire, the dress had been hung up in Sarah's closet, and I was wearing a silky pink pajama set. It was nearly 11 at night, and I was ready for bed.

Apparently Mom had given Austin permission to have a few friends spend the night, and then forgot about it while talking to me. Luckily her quick thinking had preserved my secret, and she was going to talk to Austin about being more careful when Sarah might be around.

"Put on some lighter makeup, and meet me in the kitchen," Mom told me before leaving Sarah's room. "I'll make us some hot chocolate."

I smiled at her and nodded. Hot chocolate was our comfort food, and we often drank it while we talked. Dad and Austin never seemed to get into it, though.

Mom left the room, closing the door behind her. I turned my attention to the vanity and got to work on my makeup. I removed the evening's tear-stained application and applied only enough to make me presentable to the boys until bedtime.

I opened the door, and was immediately overwhelmed with the sound of yelling boys coming from the kitchen.

I started walking down the hall, but before I got to the kitchen Austin came around the corner.

"Megan!" he said, obviously not expecting to see me. He continued in a softer tone. "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't think that Sarah would be here."

"It's okay," I told him with a smile. "I don't think any of us thought about it. We'll just have to be more careful in the future."

Unexpectedly, he smiled back before walking up to me and wrapping his arms around me in a hug.

"You make a much better sister," he said before he let me go and continued down the hall to his room.

I stood there, shocked at his pronouncement! Even Austin thought I made a better girl! It seemed almost like the decision had been made for me. I really needed to talk to Mary now.

Eventually I made it to the kitchen, where my mom was taking a pizza out of the oven. Obviously, teenage boys are always hungry. I guess that's something else I didn't share with them.

"Hi, Megan," Mom said when she saw me. The noise in the kitchen ceased immediately, and the boys all turned from the dining table to look at me. I'd met many of them before as Brett, and didn't know how they would take the change.

I uncomfortably realized that they were all staring at me in a way that boys didn't use to stare at me.

I smiled at them shyly before taking a seat at the counter, in the kitchen, far away from the table they were at in the dining room.

"Would you like a slice of pizza?" Mom asked me. My salad seemed like a long time ago, but I still didn't feel hungry. I shook my head.

She finished cutting the pizza and carried it over to the dining room table. I was glad to see the boys' attention move to the food instead of me.

Austin came back in and headed for the table. "Ooh," he said when he saw the pizza was on the table and rushed to get some before it was all gone.

"Dude!" I heard one of his friends try to whisper. "Your sister is hot!"

I felt myself blush again, but I didn't want to look over to see who had said it. I was hoping it was one of the two I hadn't met before.

"Ignore them," Mom said, placing a mug of hot chocolate in front of me. "Boys will be boys."

"I guess," I replied, taking a sip of the warm liquid.

She came around the counter and sat down between the boys and me.

"How are you doing?" she asked me quietly when Austin and his friends had returned to their previous noise level.

"I'm doing fine," I told her with a smile. "It's just been an interesting week."

"Can I ask you one thing?" she asked.

"Sure," I replied, taking another sip of the hot chocolate. It was good, and it helped me relax.

"Are you happy?"

I had to think about that. I took another sip of the hot chocolate to buy me the time I needed to think. I really enjoyed the previous week. It was a lot of fun becoming Megan, and I think that I felt more at ease as her. I definitely enjoyed a lot of Sarah's life.

But was I truly happy? I knew what Mom was really asking. She wanted to know if I wanted to stay this way. Honestly, I'd felt more alive during this week than I had at any other time during my life. But I didn't know if it was just the novelty of a new way of life, or if it was something I really wanted to do. I thought about it some more while taking another sip of the hot chocolate.

"Yes," I finally told her. "I am."

*  *  *

Chapter 19 - She Really Is A Girl?
Coming Soon...
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Comments

Crossed wires

I'm going to put across a theory that Dad has his wires a little crossed. He's a professional agent and that part of him is doing what he does best managing an up and coming singer's career. But he is also a father who has a daughter who is transitioning which is not the easiest thing in the world for a parent to deal with. I think those two parts of him really isn't communicating very well with each other. Maybe he's even denying to himself that Sarah is his daughter on one level. Look how he reacted about the 'kiss.' You know, He knew but didn't all at the same time. Perhaps that's why Dad is coming across a little weird.

On the other hand, Mom is kool. She asked Megan the most important question of all of this, 'Are you happy?'

Very nice stuff here!

Hugs!

Grover

This was great...

Andrea Lena's picture

...I'm glad Megan had a little "mom time" for a change. She's been so focused on being so many things to so many people, her mom's talk seemed to help her gain some needed perspective. And her mother is right, probably from Megan's perspective after she thought about it; she's been a girl for a lot longer than just a week. As always, an excellent story; Thanks again for continuing to bless us with your talent as well.


She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

For people in transition

... sometimes they are the very last to realize they are already behaving in their opposite gender. I did not transition to full time until 3 years after HRT started. A full year or so before I went full-time, I was finally taken aside by a trans-woman who very matter of factly told me that I was ready and presented pretty much fully female.

That fact was driven home even more so when I finally took the plunge and went full time and accidentally ran into my former subordinate who I supervised and he did not even blink at me presenting as a woman. Not even a bit of surprise. I got the feeling that I finally made sense to him somehow. I suspect my presenting as a man was probably more forced than I realized.

Lucky for me I had always treated the people that worked for me well and we actually had a very good relationship. As a matter of fact, he helped me to organize the movers to move my stuff out of the apartment I was living in in New York at the time for the move down south to the DC area.

Kim

Sarah Carerra - Chapter 18 - The After Party

As always, the mother can se the truth about their children before anyone else and help them to find out who they truly are. .

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

It Depends

It depends on the mother (which is determined by the author and the plot.) In this story, she's clearly empathic, loving and collaborative. In some other stories, on this site and elsewhere, the mother can be quite inflexible, insensitive and adversarial. It runs quite a range, actually. So, you might want to be more careful in making declarations on the order of "always" and "never."

___________________
If a picture is worth 1000 words, this is at least part of my story.

A Very Nice Continuing Story!

Megan/Sarah isn't totally overwhelmed with her new lot in life. Just enough to keep it interesting for us readers. The touches of humor are great! All in all, this is a super story!

Diane

BEAUTIFUL III

ALISON

Megan's conflicting emotions have now settled and she knows who she really is------what a joy for her!!

ALISON

A Nice...

...sort-it-out kind of chapter.

It occurs to me now that while I can see where Megan's coming from re Josh at dinner, it seems unfair for her to criticize Josh's choice of entree: Josh's agent (Megan's family) is making money from Josh's success, and he deserves whatever he wants for dinner. Conversely, Sarah, who hasn't proven herself yet, would feel she had reason to pay attention to the prices even if she weren't actually part of the family.

Dad didn't hear about that incident, and Mom didn't find it important enough to interrupt Megan's description of the evening. But Megan's parents might want to explain the whole business-expense, keep-the-client-happy concept to Megan in order to keep things from getting embarrassing for her in the future.

Eric

She Really Is A Girl?

I now realize that many of these stories help me um "sort myself out". I wonder if anyone else has the same experience?

Yesterday, I took a woman with a broken leg to work, and then spent the afternoon filing at my volunteer job, all in Woman mode. Later that night, I was crawling around in someone's furnace and did it some more tonight. With a flush of great embarrassment I realized that even in full Hijab and all the "stuff", I had started talking like a man while doing that. Now, I am sitting here feeling like I really humiliated myself; wondering if anyone noticed; hoping I can live it down.

While Megan's Mom was asking her if she was happy, it made something come into glaring clairity. I am very happy, and when I am kissing a man, I am all girl, but under the furnace, something happens and I do not like it at all. Well, that's my next project, I suppose.

Khadijah

Dear heart...

Andrea Lena's picture

....addressing your next project will just demonstrate what we all know..that you are very lovely and capable woman! Or to use your own words, all girl!


She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

She seems to be running on oestrogen

Angharad's picture

as she doesn't have testosterone after the accident, but her fancying boys may be due to that, even if she hasn't yet discovered what to do with them.

Angharad

Life is going to get

much, much better. Obviously she is attracted to men. This will make her life only slightly more complicated.