Easy As Falling Off a Bike
by Angharad
part 308.

I awoke with a start, Stella was hanging on to me like a limpet with fingers, it was actually hurting me. She was whimpering too, and as hot as a furnace, my back was sweltering and my nightdress was sticking to my sweaty skin.

"It's okay Stella, it's me Cathy, you're safe." I spoke slowly and gently hoping it would sound non-threatening. I tried to turn on to my back to see her more easily, but she was clinging so tightly that I couldn't move.

She seemed to be growing more agitated and was now crying.

"Stella, it's a bad dream, wake up now! This is Cathy, no one will hurt you, wake up now."

I said this two or three times and she whimpered, then opened her eyes. She didn't register much for a moment, then she saw me and burst into tears.

"It was horrible Cathy, they were going to do awful things to me."

I held her as tight as was both practicable and reasonable, "It's okay, I'm here and no one is going to hurt you. I promise."

"You promise?" she said in a very little girl voice.

"Yes, I promise no one will hurt you while I am here."

"Thank you," she said and closed her eyes again. Within seconds she was fast asleep again. I lay awake for at least an hour, holding her and protecting her against her nightmares.

The fact that she went off so quickly, tended to suggest to me that she hadn't properly woken up, but that enough of her was awake for those few seconds to change her dream selection or recognise my voice as one of safety. I don't know, I'm not a psychologist, but it gave me something to try and take my mind off the fact I was stewing.

I must have slept because I woke up. I felt knackered, not to put too fine a point upon it. Stella was bright eyed and bushy tailed and appeared with a cup of tea. Why couldn't she have left it another hour?

I tried to be understanding and avoid being as crabby as I felt. She was telling me that she slept so well last night. I counted to ten before I reacted.

"Oh that's good." I felt like saying, I'm glad one of us did.

"Yes, I felt so much more relaxed with you here."

"Good," I said and smiled. I sipped the tea, at least that was okay.

The shower woke me up properly and I thought about being home and seeing Simon and Tom again, oh and being with my bikes, my wonderful bikes.

Why packing up took so long, I have no idea, but it did, so we left on lunchtime, which meant we stopped en route to have something to eat, just a snack but it delayed us half an hour.

There was an horrendous accident on the M4 and miles of holdups, so it was early evening by the time we got home. I was exhausted. Stella had chattered almost non-stop, it was giving me a headache. Her conversation was just chatter, nothing was important or interesting, some of it was preposterous. I began to wonder if she was becoming schizoid, I hoped not.

Tom helped us unload my car and I felt really glad to be home. Simon phoned to say he had to stay in town, meaning London, as he had loads to catch up. I could hardly say anything, he'd taken time off to be with me but I dreaded that it might give Stella the opportunity to ask to sleep with me.

Don't get me wrong, I love her and would do almost anything for her, but losing another night's sleep would get me down. At the same time, if she asked, I couldn't refuse her.

I did wonder how she coped with just Tom there, but I thought I didn't really want to know. It turned out she had Kiki in her room with her, so my nasty mind was just that!

Tom took us out for a meal and he drove us in Stella's car. It was good of him and it saved me cooking, however, I was so tired I could barely find enough energy to chew and swallow. I nearly nodded while eating.

"You look tired, Cathy," he said to me, I was miles away.

"Erm, sorry, Tom, what did you say?"

"I said, you look tired.

"Yeah, all the stress I suppose, I'll be better after a good night's sleep."

"Talking of sleep, can I sleep with you, Cathy?"

"What, tonight?" I felt my heart sink.

"Is that alright, I feel so much better and I don't get the nightmares."

"I suppose so," what else could I say?

I didn't want that much from life, just Simon, my dormice, my bikes and time to ride them. Oh boy, fat chance, at the moment I'd fall asleep while riding one, easy as winky, easy as falling asleep, easy as falling off a bike? My mind was starting to do funny things and I was sure the lights weren't actually flashing in the restaurant.

I was asleep in the car on the way home, but still Stella followed me to bed and cuddled up so tight to me that I felt in danger of rolling on top of her if I turned over. Despite all that, I actually did zonk, almost as soon as I switched off the light. If she had any bad dreams, I was oblivious, I was so tired.

They let me sleep on and I woke about eleven. I'd slept nearly twelve hours. I felt a little better, but not entirely back to normal. It probably was stress and I'd blamed Stella. I felt guilty as well as everything else. Maybe I wasn't really a nice person, simply pretending to be in order to get my own way. I didn't know and I didn't have enough brain cells firing to think too deeply about it.

I had some breakfast and set about some chores, making bread and seeing what we had in the freezer and what we needed. I defrosted a leg of lamb and decided I'd cook that tonight. We needed more veg and potatoes plus a few other things.

Tom had gone to work so I asked Stella to come with me to the supermarket, which she seemed happy to do. We were in the greengrocery department when she began acting a little strangely.

She kept looking at a man and trying to hide behind me. I watched him, and as far as I could see, he was just shopping. I asked her if there was a problem and she shrugged.

Suddenly the man was next to her reaching for some fruit and she freaked. She screamed and shouted and slapped him. He, shocked, slapped her back, she flew at him calling him all sorts of names and he hit her quite hard. By this time I was close enough to intervene, he pushed me away and obviously he was so angry, he wasn't listening. I laid him out with a cabbage.

There were staff everywhere and I led Stella away, a weeping mass of jelly with a nasty bruise appearing on the side of her face. Amazingly, I got her to the car and called her doctor, who by pure chance was on duty. He told me to take her home and he'd visit as soon as he could.

He's such a nice chap, he examined her and threatened that if she didn't do exactly as I asked her, he'd have to hospitalise her. That frightened her and she agreed to be left in my care. Somehow, a bike ride looked light years away.

I still needed veg and potatoes, so asked Tom to get some on the way home. Bless him he arrived home early, probably drawn by the prospect of a roast dinner. He also told me he could stay much of the morning the next day, which had a reasonable weather forecast and I could get in a quick ride if I wanted to. Did I want to? I kissed him on the cheek and hugged him. In loco parentis had nothing on this man.