Either Do it Right, or Don't Do it at All (Part 12)

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Either Do it Right, or Don't Do it at All
Part 12

by:
Lilith Langtree


When I tell this story I usually blank out, relating it to whomever is listening.
It keeps me from being emotional.

From what I've been told, it's unnerving as hell to watch.


 
Part 12

I argued with myself for five minutes about whether or not to get dressed and then wound up just shrugging on an emerald green satin robe that barely reached passed my hips. A couple of swipes with a brush and I was half-way presentable. Mark would have to do without seeing me in make up for the night. That alone might scare him off. Right before I was about to head downstairs I spritzed with a single shot of perfume. No need to take things to the extreme.

After turning on the porch light I went to the kitchen and put a kettle on the stove for some chamomile tea. Maybe it would keep me relatively calm after what was sure to be yet another emotional night. That was all that I had time for before I heard the doorbell go off.

A quick check through the peep hole and I opened the door. Sweet mother of Ralph Lauren! Mark stood there looking somewhat eager and nervous, dressed in stretchy black bike shorts that hugged every millimeter of his… never mind, and one of those loose workout tanks that scoops low enough to show off half of his very well defined pectoral muscles. I furiously battled the little devil sitting on my shoulder urging me to tell Mark that he could come in, but he'd have to take off those obviously inappropriate clothes. Why yes, I do have something that you could wear. How about a tea cozy?

Eventually, I came to my senses and stepped back to allow him inside my lair… my home. GAH!

"Hi." Keep it simple, Casidhe. Anything more and he would know that you are a monumental idiot.

Before I even had the door closed, his lips captured mine. A warm blanket of fog settled over my mind as I eased into his embrace. His right hand holding me by the lower back and his left hand cradling my face. God, I could learn to love this every single day. Who am I kidding? I already love this.

By the time reality turned on the yellow fog lamps so I could see straight I eased back down and realized my right foot was kicked back just like in the movies. Who does that? I always thought that it was just a little visual thing that the director told the actress to do for cuteness sake. Nope, I guess all a person needs is the proper lips to encounter.

After a few blinks I was able to compose myself. "Um…" Gulp. "I'm making some chamomile tea. Would you like a cup?"

With a nod he answered. "Thank you. Would you like some help?"

"I've got it. Why don't you have a seat and I'll be out in a minute."

Okay, I didn't have enough willpower to actually go to the kitchen until I got a very nice view of Mark walking to the couch. Bless the makers of biking shorts the world over. I think I know exactly what to get him for his belated birthday gift.

Sorting the tea goodies on a serving tray kept me busy and my mind off of things better not thought of was probably my only salvation for the evening. I set out a few tea cookies and napkins. Anyone would have thought that I was serving for upper class guests that always drank their tea with their pinky firmly extended, but that was the way I was taught. Do it right or don't do it at all.

Well, here we go. Don't drop the tray.

Mark's eyes widened a little at the set up while I asked him how he liked his tea.

"Just a little honey, please."

Great. We drink our tea exactly the same way. Is this fate trying to tell me something?

We sat quietly, nibbling on our cookies and sipping at our tea until I couldn't take it any longer. I sat my cup down and pulled my feet up until I was comfy on the couch, looking at my boyfriend.

"Do you know how my parents died?"

Mark shrugged a little. "Terrorist suicide bomber?"

I nodded. "We were at the American Embassy in London. I was ten at the time. I was screwing around and my parents were ready to leave. They almost made it to the front gates and I was running to catch up."

When I tell this story I usually blank out, relating it to whomever is listening. It keeps me from being emotional. From what I've been told, it's unnerving as hell to watch.

"Mom was wearing an olive green pea coat and Dad had his London Fog jacket on. He always thought of it as a little inside joke, being in London and wearing that particular jacket." I paused for a second, seeing them in my mind's eye. "Dad was holding Mom's hand and he had turned around to see where I was. Mom looked over her shoulder smiling just a little. Then they were gone."

My nose crinkled up a little in displeasure. "I remember a flash and a wall of hot air hit me in the face. I think I weighed about eighty pounds at the time. But I do remember that I was airborne for a second or two." My face cleared and I tried to take on a more clinical air. "The concussive force of the blast blew me back. It's pretty much what you see in the movies. Except you really don't appreciate how much heat an explosion like that gives off. It felt like my skin was going to melt off."

I looked down for a second and saw Mark had taken my hand in his, but I didn't want to get sidetracked.

"I was out of it when I hit the ground. I think I remember other people screaming, but that could have been my imagination. I would imagine that there would have been."

I felt him squeeze my hand, not too hard, but still.

"I didn't wake up until two days later. Gramps was there by my bed. I was covered in bandages… the… the shrapnel the terrorist was carrying on him is what hit me the most. Funny thing is that I don't even remember being hit with it, just the heat." With a dry swallow I met Mark's eyes briefly and then turned my gaze to the back of the couch, plucking at some imaginary lint, absentmindedly, with my fingers.

"When I was well enough, Gramps and I came back home and I met with a plastic surgeon friend of his and they did a bang up job on me. You can barely tell where I was hit… well almost barely."

Mark spoke for the first time since I started. "Is that what you need to get fixed this December?"

I nodded a little and added a shrug. "It has a lot to do with it, yeah."

After meeting his eyes for a moment I looked back down. "It made me… I can't have any children of my own. It screwed up my hormones where I had to take supplements. Basically I'm a mess."

The corners of his mouth lifted up a little. "I don't think you're a mess. I think you're a survivor."

That brought a single heaving laugh from my lips. "You're sweet. You're obviously stupid, but you're sweet."

"Come here."

He opened his arms and I turned around on the couch to face him as I cuddled into his chest.

"How can you think that any of this makes any difference as to whether I like you or not?"

I sighed and tried to engrain this feeling of acceptance into my brain for as long as I could remember it. "Because I was two very different Casidhe's then and now. It wasn't until I started school here that I changed into who I am today."

Mark's arms tightened around me and I felt his lips atop my head. "Tell me couple of things."

"Okay," I mumbled into his chest.

"This operation that you are having in December, will it change who you are in the inside?"

Well, that was a loaded question. "Sorta. It'll let me be who I want to be… who I was meant to be."

"So what's the big deal? You do what you need to do."

I sighed in resignation. "The big deal is that I'm not a real woman."

He didn't say anything at first, probably thinking about what I said, but then he found the words. "You're not able to have babies, and not able to produce female hormones, right?"

I didn't say anything, but I did nod.

"Does this mean that a woman that has uterine cancer and has to have a hysterectomy any less of a woman? Does it make her a man?"

I shook my head.

"Does someone that has breast cancer and has to have them removed make them any less of a woman?"

Again I shook my head.

"Casidhe, I'm not an unrealistic kind of guy. There are lots of things that make a relationship work. The most important thing is the ability to talk things through. We've done that. The second thing is we have to have the ability to have fun with each other with whatever we do. We'll find out more about that while we date."

My arms squeezed around him tighter. It was like I was trying to pull us together out of sheer willpower.

"Another realistic thing is the ability to have a mutually satisfying sexual relationship."

Nodding with understanding, I looked up under his chin, trying to see the expression on his face.

"When you have this operation will you be able to have…"

"Yes," I breathed. "From what the doctor says, I should be as close to a normal girl as is possible, under the circumstances. You shouldn't be able to tell the difference and I should be able to achieve orgasm like a normal girl."

He chuckled a little at my directness.

"Oh, and my breasts are growing."

That brought on a big laugh from him. I just smiled and snuggled in closer.

"I told you that I'm a eyes, legs, and butt, kind of guy."

"I like my butt. No problems there."

"I do too."

Not being able to take it anymore I pulled back and turned his head to me. If I were able, I'd take him upstairs and show him exactly how much I appreciated his understanding. Then I thought. Why couldn't I? I might not be able to do everything, but then again we both already knew the score on that subject.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

I bit my lower lip slightly and then told him. "I'm thinking about how much I want to make love with you right now."

His eyes turned very serious. "I can wait. There are other things we can do. I hear kissing is pretty cool."

Thoughts of kissing Mark gave me a warm fuzzy feeling and something else to add to the interesting new body reactions list: hardening nipples. I blushed, not wanting him to think that I was a giggling school girl, whether it was true or not was beside the point. So I kissed him.


~O~

To: studlymuffin3829
From: coconnor

Jerry,

Studly muffin? What's up with that? Do me a favor and post the attached letter on the MySpace page that you made of me, and follow the request as well, please. Do this and I'll cooperate to make your page a little less stalkerish.

Attch: WHAT'S UP FALCONS!
Yes, this is a message from me, Casidhe. I've found you out! So, if you get to look at pictures of me without me b*tching then I'm making a request of you too. Come to Thursday's baseball game and watch our Mighty Falcons kick the living spit out of the Klein Bearkats. As an added bonus I'll be sporting a new look for the occasion. I think you'll appreciate it. This isn't a proposition for the pervs, but I have spirit, do you? Game Time: 7pm. Pre-game party: 6pm at the field. Bring your boom boxes, and I'll bring the eats.

Casidhe

p.s. Yes, the rumor is true. Mark Tanner is mine! But more importantly I'm his.


~O~

Does a mild-mannered… okay never mind. Does a slightly bent new girl have the power to command the lives of -- by last count 432 -- MySpace geeks? Pfft. Apparently you don't know me very well.

I checked the site to make sure it was posted the day before. Now today is game day and I let the attendance office know that I would be taking a personal day. For some reason I need a note from my parents to let the school know I'm doing this with their permission. I kind of equate this to the pimply faced guy behind the counter at McDonalds that wants to know if I want fries with the apple pie I just ordered.

So, I drove in with Chloe the next morning to have a powwow with excitable lady at the front desk.

"Do you have a post-it that I could use?"

She looked down. "Is purple okay?"

From the blank look on my face she took that to be a yes. I scribbled away: Casidhe has my permission to take a personal day from school. Sincerely- Casidhe O'Connor.

"Sorry, parents are dead. Check my records; I'm emancipated."

There, that's taken care of.

Did you know that they make these things that you can have attached to your existing hair that makes it look like it's your own hair, only longer?

Did you know that the Parents Sports Boosters that take care of concessions don't really like it when you come in and do their job better than they do?

Did you know that you can have a custom made cheerleader's outfit finished in a single afternoon if you flirt enough with the guy behind the counter and add an under-the-table sizable tip to the tab?

Did you know that chaps don't really go with a cheerleader outfit? They don't. Plus, I think the school might have a problem with that. Okay, scrap that idea.

These and other revelations coming soon to a baseball parking lot near… um, the school.


~O~

"Hey, where are you at?"

Still fiddling with the ear bud thingie for my phone I answer, "Right around the corner. Hey, you're still dating Dave, right?"

I heard Chloe sputter. "Yeeeah, do you know something I don't know?"

Pulling in the parking lot I reply, "No, just checking. You're coming to the game tonight."

"Cas," she whined. "I don't like baseball."

"Maybe not, but you'll like the outfit I got you."

I saw her waving at me and closed the connection before stopping. The door opened and her backpack made it to the floorboard before she dropped beside me."

"Oh my god! Where did you get all of that hair?! It's so cute!"

I pet my high ponytail with a smile. "I know, right?"

She leaned in a did a close inspection. "Wow, they matched the color great." Dropping back down in her seat she gave me the evil eye. "Okay, now what's this about an outfit?"

Reaching into the back seat, I retrieved a good sized white box and handed it to her with a smile. "It's for tonight."

I checked the side mirrors and eased back out into the post-school-leaving-the-parking-lot frenzy. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her open the top and her resulting giggle.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me."

"Nope."

Chloe pulled out the cheerleader uniform top, except it wasn't designed like the current squad's uniform. The purple and gold colors were definitely there, but in place of the school's letters and mascot was a large patch that read, "Dave's Girl," in cursive lettering.

"I've got one just like it," I said with a pleased expression on my face.

"You've got a cheerleader outfit that says, Dave's Girl?"

A giggle escaped my lips. "Mine reads, Mark's Girl, and I have one for Ted too."

She folded up the top and closed the box. "Craig will appreciate Ted in a skimpy skirt."

"Chloe! His are shorts and a normal guy cheer top."

Her face wrinkled up a little with an unpleasant thought. "Think we can get him to shave his legs? It would look a lot better with the outfit."

I was going to comment, but the thought of a smooth legged Ted stuck in my head, so I just let my mouth hang open while I explored the possibilities. "Call him and get him over to the house. I'll try to talk him into it." As an afterthought I added, a little too eagerly. "Call Craig too."

Craig was the first call and I listened while Chloe told him the plan. Amazingly enough, he was game to the idea of experimenting, but couldn't make it to the house. If he was going to the game then he had to complete his homework first. It was one of the conditions of his parents during the school week. Understandable, I suppose. Although he was very eager to see Ted in a cheerleader's uniform.


~O~

"Nuh uh, not gonna happen."

I grabbed Ted's arms and gave him my sweetest puppy dog eyes. Bow to the effect, I tell you. Bow! "Craig said he's interested in seeing you hairless."

That little tidbit of information shocked him a little. "Really?"

Extending my pouty lip I nodded quickly. "Uh huh."

He looked to the side to avoid the amazing power of my pouty lip.

"Ted, Mark has smooth legs too. In fact he went as far as to have his whole body laser cleaned of hair."

That brought his eyes back around to me. "Mark?"

"I think it's sexy as hell, and you would look so good in the outfit." Opening the box I moved the top out of the way and showed him the stretchy shorts. "Isn't it about time to show the guys and girls what they've been missing all this time?"

The sound of Chloe pounding down the stairs interrupted us, and she turned the corner, striking a pose. "What do you think?""

It wasn't a traditional outfit. We wouldn't be actually leading cheers. I'd leave that for the semi-professionals. So I opted for purple knee boots with a chunky two inch heel instead. Ted's were regular tennis shoes with purple ankle socks. The purple skirt with gold piping was a little shorter than I thought. It didn't take much of a spin to make it fly up, revealing the spankies underneath. I stayed within cheerleader guidelines and kept the spankies the same color as the skirt. It was still damn sexy.

"You're hot, Chloe. No doubt about it." Ted added a nod of encouragement as well. I think he was actually speechless.

Chloe bounced a little. "Dave is SO gonna love this." With exaggerated movement she closed into Ted, distracting him for the cause. "So, Ted, are you gonna join the smooth squad?"

Chloe is so bad. I couldn't let that challenge go so I tried to one up her by taking Ted's hand and setting it on my thigh.

"Doesn't it feel good?" His eyes jerked to where he was touching while I moved it a few inches back and forth to show him how nice I felt. "We could do it for you if you want." With that, I looked up at Chloe, trying to egg her on.

"Oh yeah, good idea. She grabbed Ted's other hand and put it on her thigh. "Wouldn't you like us to help shave you?"


~O~

Craig may have more than a handful of hormone charged Ted to deal with at the end of the night. It was all for a good cause, then.


~O~

"Do you think we broke him?"

I gave Chloe a wry smile while I poured my Coke. "Well, since he's up there 'relaxing' himself…" A giggle escaped my lips. I just couldn't hold it back. "I'd say we performed admirably, shaving a sixteen year old boy's legs."

Chloe's hand was over her mouth trying to contain herself. "I can't believe you offered to clean him up — 'there'.

I shrugged. "Nothing worse than a bushy jungle between a guy's legs, or a girl's legs for that matter. I thought it was quite helpful of me, even when he declined."

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Yeah, if you wanted to give him spank fantasies for the next year."

Sipping at my Coke, I played with that thought for a few seconds. "It's kind of… nice knowing that a guy thinks about me that way."

"Cas, a lot of guys think of you and want to…" she motioned her fist up and down.

"Plunge their toilets?" At her returned glare, I set my Coke down and grabbed her arms. "Turn around, you've got it all wrong."

I pushed myself up against her back and went up on my toes, over her shoulder. "You've got to imagine you've got a penis. There's not a whole arm movement down there. It's all in the wrist, like this."

I tried to looked down, but couldn't see anything because something was blocking the way. "How can you seeing anything down there. Your mongo breasts are in the way. Teasingly I reached across and covered both of her breasts with my hand and forearm, squeezing them in.

"Where are you guys at?" Ted announced as he came through the kitchen door, decidedly more relaxed. His eyes widened at my arm around Chloe and my hand posed over her genital area, and my other hand… No, no, no Chloe, don't do it!

"Hey Ted, don't mind us. Casidhe is just showing me how to masturbate properly. Apparently I've been doing it wrong all of these years."

A strained look overcame his face before he backed out and closed the door.

"Chlo, you know you're going to Hell for that one, don't you?"

"Hey, you're the one grabbing my boobs. Which, by the way, leggo!"

I jumped back. "We're all girls here."

She turned and let me see her raised eyebrow. "Yeah, but you're bisexual, and you've already kissed me once. I've had boyfriends that haven't gotten as far as you have."

With just a little bit of disgusted recoil I flinched back. "Ewww, it would be like making out with my sister. No, just… no."

Chloe looked amused at my overacting. "Oh really. Then why are your nipples hard?"

I bugged, looking down at my chest and my newly budding breasts. Hey, they aren't hard!

"Made you look!" Chloe laughed as she dashed out of the kitchen.


~O~

The Sun was low in the sky, but still quite bright. You know the kind that sits right in front of you as you're driving, and all you see is this brilliant ball of yellow while you are speeding through a residential neighborhood avoiding small children, and those little rat dogs that invariably wind up in the middle of the street? No matter which way you turn to avoid looking directly at it, it's always there. And that little visor they have stuck above the windshield is absolutely no help. I can just see the engineers that designed the thing. 'Oh I know, let's put an adjustable, completely solid object in front of the driver so they can have the choice of going blind or not seeing a thing. Either way, they're dead.' Yeah, I can see it going something like that. How about a heavily tinted visor instead? Nooo! That would make too much sense!

A few cars were in the parking lot when we got there thirty minutes before the pre-game party to make sure the guy got there with the extra supplies for the concession stand. I'd planned on about a hundred people to show, but knew there would probably be a little less. From my research, advertising usually increases turnout by no more than ten percent, and ten percent of 432 is 43.2. I'd imagine someone would have to baby-sit their younger sibling, so there's the point two. Of course I could be totally off and everyone would wind up bringing the entire family, including cousins, in-laws, family pets, neighbors. But, thems the breaks when dealing with the unknown.

Chloe and I gave the concessions guy an eyeful when we stopped off. To look at things and hand over a check to cover the food. I was feeling a little self-conscious about showing so much of the lower half of my body. However with a gaff, a panty liner and my spankies, I knew I was covered pretty well.

Ted was still in the car by the time we made it back.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I changed my mind."

"About?" I prompted.

He looked down. "These shorts are too tight and my legs are shaved for god's sake. If I go out there like this, I'll be pounded for sure come tomorrow."

Chloe opened the passenger side door and grabbed a hold of one of his arms. "You aren't looking at this the right way, Ted. Stand up." At his balk, she swept her arm out. "Look, nobody's here right now."

He craned his neck out the door to make sure, so I grabbed the other arm and pulled. He finally gave in.

"See, you aren't any worse off than we are. You don't have six inches of belly on display, and Casidhe was nice enough to put the school mascot on your shirt instead of 'Craig's Boy'. Your thighs are pretty defined and you don't have knobby knees, so that's a plus."

"I think it's sexy," I added. "And with two of the hottest girls in the Sophomore class hanging on your arm, I don't think you'll be teased."

"Even if they did," Chloe explained. "Cas and I would tear them to shreds, socially. You saw what she did to Jerry Greene. He's had one date in four months, and that was actually his younger cousin that was visiting from Alabama, so that didn't count."

"It's a win/win!" Being double-teamed by both of us again had Ted questioning his self imposed angst that was eating at him. The expressions that were crossing his face gave me a positive feeling.

"Okay, but you guys can't leave me alone tonight."

Chloe and I grabbed an arm and slid our hands through. "His name is Head, Ted Head."

Chloe bounced. "Oh, I want to be Miss Moneypenny." I nodded. "That's cool. I'm gonna be Halle Berry."

"Cas, you're white, like white white," she exaggerated.

"Yeah," I agreed. "But I've got the sexy Catwoman costume on order for Halloween. Maybe I can get a dark spray on tan in the meantime."

"Oh, good call."

"You think my butt would look good in a leather Catwoman outfit, Ted?"

He blinked a couple of times.

"Cas, don't do that to him. Those shorts of his show everything. We don't need things exploding everywhere."

"Sorry, Ted. I didn't mean to tease." Okay, I really did. What? It's fun!


~O~

Seventy-three. That's how many people showed, some of whom were Mark's parents and his little sister.

"Casidhe!" I heard above the music blaring as Chloe, Ted and I were dancing in the circular clearing we made with about twenty cars. Hey, it keeps the trash spreading around the grounds to a minimum.

I looked up and saw Mark's mom waving at me. My face lit up and I waved back. "Susan, Michael!" Turning back to Chloe and Ted I gave them the scoop. "Those are Mark's parents. I'll be back in a sec, okay?"

With a returned nod I was almost speed walking through the crowd. "Cool, you guys made it."

Susan's eyes were wide, taking in the display. "Wow, you really did it."

"No kidding," added Michael. "I thought you'd bring your friends, maybe a handful, gheeze."

I smiled wide. "Nothing's too good for my boyfriend." Behind Susan stood a pre-teen girl, looking decidedly sick to her stomach, not to mention the finger she was sticking down her throat and gagging dramatically.

Susan smacked at her. "Casey, stop it, and come meet your brother's girlfriend. This is Casidhe O'Connor. Casidhe, this is Casey."

With a smile and a finger wave I said, "Hi!"

She looked me over. "That's a cool uniform. Are you a cheerleader?"

Shaking my head, throwing my ponytail around and giggled. "Nope, just highly spirited. Come on, I'll introduce you around." Looking up at her parents I asked. "Is it okay?"

Michael looked a little wary. "Uh…"

"I'll be right beside her the whole time." Susan smiled at me. "Oh, and you guys have got to stop by the food stand. Free eats tonight!"

That distracted Michael while Susan cautioned her daughter. "Stay with Casidhe and no running off."

Before Susan could implement even more rules, I grabbed Casey's hand and pulled. "Come on! We got dancing!"


~O~

The bleachers were completely packed by the time the game started. Michael and Susan had their spots saved and I already had director's chairs set up next to them for the gang. The parking lot was cleaned up before things got a little more sedate without the constant blare of the local radio station through everyone's boom boxes.

The home team took turnes checking out the crowd from the dug out and when Mark poked his head out with a stunned look I jumped up and gave him a happy bounce and a wave.

His eyes bugged at my outfit, so I lifted the sides a little and curtsied for him. It wasn't a perfect curtsy, but the effect was good enough. A hand pulled him back and it was replaced with Steve's face and lascivious grin soon thereafter.

"Now that's what I'm talkin' about!" I heard him yell.

The coach yelled at them and the team had to retreat to put their minds on the game. Two more cheerleaders showed up to lead the small crowd with their chants while I basked in the effect.

It's really kind of weird keeping my legs crossed all of the time. However if I didn't, it was amazing at how many boys would happen to be crossing in front of me, on their way to wherever. I turned into quite the pro after only fifteen minutes of showing off what was underneath my skirt.


~O~

Details about the game? Do you actually care? Let's just say that it was their biggest win ever. Six to three was the final score, including a one run homer and two RBI's by my sweetie!

Craig showed up at the third inning and Ted was distracted for the rest of the game, but Chloe and I cheered enough to take up the slack.


~O~

Ding Dong!

I left the game all by my lonesome as Chloe left with Dave, who finally showed up real late and Ted was, of course, off to have fun with Craig. But I had better things to deal with.

I opened up the front door and there stood my freshly showered and very happy boyfriend.

"Oh, hi Mark. I was just about to head to bed." I yawned dramatically, but couldn't keep it up, giggling right after.

He stepped in and hoisted me up from under the arms. I squealed happily and wrapped my legs around him so he could let me, in turn, wrap my arms around his neck for a nice long kiss. I heard the door close and our bodies swivel around until I felt my back against the door and his hands beneath my thighs. I could seriously get used to this.

He broke away and I leaned back a little. "Am I too heavy?"

"You're perfect. I could probably hold you here for hours."

A playful smirk played over my lips. "But then I couldn't feel your hands on me."

With a slight groan he slowly set me down. I made it a point to make sure our bodies didn't lose contact for even a second. Just making sure he was happy to see me. He was. Giggle.

"Where did you get this outfit?"

I broke away and spun in place. "Like?"

"Very much. I could barely keep my mind on the game."

Heat rose to my face and it wasn't an embarrassing heat. With all of the attention given to me over the evening I was humming along on a very nice excitement glow. Slow down, Casidhe. I breathed for a second and then distracted myself. "You want to stay in tonight? I could make us something to eat if you're hungry."

Mark's eyes swept my body and then locked on mine. "I'm very hungry."

I smiled. "For food, Mr. Tanner." Spinning away, I sashayed to the kitchen with Mark trailing behind after getting an eyeful.

"Hmm," I contemplated items in the refrigerator. "Steak sandwich?"

He goggled at me. "You cook too?"

I beamed at him, prideful. "Yeah-huh. I'm a very good cook. So, steak sandwich?"

"Sounds great."

The indoor grill was on the island in the middle of the room. I made my way around the kitchen after making sure Mark was comfy on one of the stools watching my every move. No matter how much I tried to concentrate on what I was doing, I felt the heat of his eyes upon me. The heat from the grill wasn't helping matters and I turned the overhead exhaust fan on. It added a whirring noise into the background, so I wasn't as self-conscious about the silence between us.

"What would you like on your sandwich? I'm using buttered Kaiser rolls that I'll toast on the grill."

His eyes brightened just a little. "Um, lettuce and tomato if you have it."

With a smile I opened the fridge. "But of course," I replied in my best French accent. It wasn't pretty. "I have a little bit of everything. I try to eat at least two healthy meals a day. The lunch room ala carte isn't something that I would classify as healthy."

He snorted in agreement. It was cute on him.

I peeled a few leafs of lettuce and sliced a tomato, setting them to the side. The aroma of grilling beef filled the kitchen and I sighed. It was nice to cook for more than myself again.

"You'll have to come over for dinner, more often. I hate cooking for just one person."

I could tell he was taking in the scent too. "If it tastes as good as it smells, then you'll have to lock your doors to keep me away."

Letting my eyes travel his body for a moment, I found his face and a little contentment behind his eyes. "Medium rare for you, I think."

"Hmm?"

"Your steak, you look like someone that likes his steak medium rare. With the juices dripping and licking your fingers, savoring the taste. Am I wrong?"

I think that was a little too much for him. He snaked his hand around my waist and pulled me to him. Hunger was definitely in his eyes and most assuredly in his mouth because he devoured me at that moment. My body was on automatic as I literally climbed up into his lap, straddling his strong muscular thighs.

Little whimpers of satisfaction broke out of my mouth. His scent, even above the aroma of the grilling steak, found itself inside me, caressing my mouth and nose, urging me on.

My hands worked at the hem of his t-shirt, lifting it up and allowing me access to his smooth chest, where my fingers danced in happy worship to our heat. Oh to be a genetic girl and have him lay me down on the counter to claim me, I would have given anything for that to have been true at the moment.

Breathe Casidhe.

I pulled away. His eyes were smoky, his mouth loose, and his lips full. Closing my eyes I tried to banish the image from my mind and turned my head away. My breath had already gone heavy, and my tummy twitched, ached for completion, or more to the point aching for copulation.

Reaching out I slid my hand across the counter for the tongs I would use to turn the steaks. His mouth found its way to my neck, teeth bare against my throat, biting lightly, surrounded by his warm lips. Oh god! My back involuntarily arched into him.

I was about ready to say screw the steaks, but I knew my man was hungry. For what, was the next question.

With my free hand I pushed at his shoulder. "Mark." God, when did my voice get so husky?

He pulled away and I quickly flipped the steaks. Okay, we've got another seven minutes before they're through. The tongs clattered on the counter where I dropped them as I pulled his mouth back to my neck. A burning sensation let me know I was being marked and I don't think that I cared in the least. On second thought, I knew that I did care. I wanted the world to know that I was taken and who it was that had claimed me.

His hands ran under my top, pushing it up, along with my bra, until I felt his mouth pull away from my neck and drop lower to my tiny breasts. Dear mother of all that is… That was all it took. A wave of warm sensation washed over me, crashing down upon my body like nothing I had ever felt before. My hips ground into his without my urging, and I held his head to my breast, squeezing him and shaking until I cried out, echoing into the night.

Photo Credit: Olga http://mgpg.wordpress.com/2006/09/25/olga-super-red/

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Comments

Ambiguous

as to whether her dream boy saw what she was saying as a confession to her TS nature or simply her having major issues relating solely to the bomb that killed her parents, ain't it? I suppose she didn't really lie, but she didn't actually tell him the complete truth of the matter either -- neglecting facts is just as much a lie as giving wrong information in some cases.

In the long run, though, hopefully it won't matter. She'll be a whole woman soon, and after that details about her past like that shouldn't matter.

Also, I love the pic; it's basically exactly what I imagined Casidhe to look like, well, close enough :P

Melanie E.

Yah, I thought that too

She tried to tell him the truth but given the passion between them he may have understood her to mean the bomb blast rendered her sterile as a woman and unable to have sex, and not that she was a male child. She never did explicitly say she was born a male.

If he was listening she all but said she was born a male so he should know. If he meant what he said about genetic woman who can't have children due to cancers and such then she has found a keeper in Mike.

Amazed the ex-girlfriend has not reacted to all this. Is she better than some of us thought and staying out of it or will she make trouble?

Still hope for the Disney EndingTM and she can become a complete woman in every way but plain old SRS may do very well if she can be happy. Just hope the mad bombers kids are all dead or maimed like our heroine, the bastard.

Sorry, my inner ogre came out.

This is not a case of 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade', this is a whole lemon cake with homemade frosting and ice-cream Cas is making for herself and her friends. The bit at the ball game was funny, romantic and very generous on her part.

Sweet stuff despite the horror of Cas's past.

So good to see you posting again'

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Psycho girl will be coming

Psycho girl will be coming back at some point. What purpose she will serve is up for grabs. Remember she was kicked out of school, so she's attending at a different one at the moment.

Mad Bomber story still isn't over. Neat huh?

Disney Ending (TM) I love a happy ending, but I am also from the Joss Weadon school of thought. I'm paraphrasing here: Happy characters aren't very interesting. It's the ones that have their happiness torn from them that make us really feel.

Thanks John

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Like John

I'm like John, I prefer happy endings. As I recall, Joss W. had his series cancelled, while Disney continues to mint money. Makes me think they know what sells. ;-) A little angst helps keep the emotions flowing, but love, romance, etc. is what keeps me coming back.


I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.

Apples and oranges. Disney,

Apples and oranges. Disney, for the majority, are movies. Yes, they have a tv channel, but the ratings in comparison are much lower than the prime time shows on tv.

Buffy ran for 7 seasons, and commanded its time slot on the network. Angel ran for 5 seasons, still strong for any prime time show. Dollhouse is currently on its 2 season. Not to mention Joss' successful movie ventures. He has flops as well, like any other writer/director out there.

What I'm getting at is, predictability gets old after a while. That's why I have a very eclectic writing style where plots are concerned. I don't stay locked into any on genre, and you don't know what to expect within the genre. Check out some of my other story summaries and you'll see what I mean.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

The thing about Joss's people ...

... is that they survive and eventually grow past the pain of each loss. They never lose it, because pain like that doesn't ever go away. But they do what they can to find a new path and move on. Because life and living is always about change.

As Zoe said at the end of Serenity, about the ship and herself, "She's torn up plenty, but she'll fly true." It's the getting back up in the sky that Joss celebrates ... the losses are what gives his people the chance to soar.

*smile*

Randalynn

Mal: You think she'll hold together?
Zoë: She's torn up plenty, but she'll fly true.
Mal: Could be bumpy.
Zoë: Always is.
-- Joss Whedon's Serenity

Apples & Apples then

How'd his Firefly movie do? ;-)

As for predictibility getting old after awhile, what are the attendence figures for the original Disneyland? And the Florida place has been around long enough, are people still going there?

Can't say anything about those shows you mentioned, watched a bit one time and turned each one off. Watched every episode of Startrek-DS9 and Voyager, got turned off by Babelon 5 quickly. Tastes differ, and there is a market for good, happy ending stuff. A pretty big market, it appears. I leave angst to the emos.


I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.

Serenity

Movie production - approx. $39 Mil; Box Office recipts - $38 mil; DVD sales - $as of 2006 $9 mil. Does not include Bluray and Collectors edition sales which I couldn't find.

Sounds like a successful venture to me. Granted it wasn't MEGA_HOLLYWOOD!!! But still successful.

And again we are on apples and oranges. You can't compare theme parks to movies or movies to tv shows. The success of Disney theme parks has to do with the attraction to children or those that prefer the more wholesome theme. Which has nothing to do with Joss Weadon nor this story.

My only point in all of this is to say I am from that school of thought. Not that I was against a happy ending, but that conflict breeds interest. Each has its place, and it's pretty obvious which kind of story this is.

So what say we drop this subject while we are still in a good mood. :)

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

I love Whedon and Disney both

and for their respective areas they are both successful. If you're going to compare Whedon's work to anything, it should be comic books, since his stories fall more into the style of storytelling used in that medium -- in fact, he has done quite a bit of writing work FOR comic books.

I can see the viewpoint of "Disney endings" getting boring, but that isn't so much because they're happy endings, it's more because they're always the same type of happy ending. But why shouldn't they be? While many adults do enjoy Disney movies, their primary target is younger audiences or families with children who want a movie experience that everyone can enjoy, which is most decidedly NOT the tactic that Joss Whedon employs. Disneyland and Disneyworld are engineered the same way: produce a family-friendly product rather than targeting a smaller demographic and you'll pretty much automatically have a larger audience than a more specially targeted product.

Also, concerning the fact that Firefly was cancelled, that can't be used as a judging stick against Joss Whedon's work, since despite having decent ratings, especially for a sci fi show, Fox still cancelled it after having aired what episodes they did show out of order, destroying the chronology of the series, as well as if I recall changing it's time slot multiple times.

Either route a story takes, it's still going to be a good story so long as the author's style and storytelling ability make it so. Whatever kind of ending you go for, Lilith, it'll be good. Well, unless you start writing like Dickens -- I can't stand how cruel he could be to his characters, and would probably stop reading it myself if you did. :P

Melanie E.

Finger Pointing

I was expecting a storm of accusations and finger pointing in the comments for this chapter. *sigh* It seems as if I'll have to be disappointed.

LOL.

I specifically wrote it this way on purpose. From a certain point of view Casidhe told the whole truth, from another point she was misleading.

Ambiguity is the perfect word. The question you have to ask yourself is, "Does Cas realize what she did?"

For the pic, I tripped over it today. I've been looking for a "Stacked" haired girl without any luck since I started this story. It's 'one' of the reasons I had her get extensions.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Shocked, I tell you!

SHOCKED! to find that nobody has commented on this chapter yet. I laughed all the way through as you added scene after scene. At the end, I felt Casidhe's emotions as she really became who she is. I have about as much interest in having a boyfriend as I have in . . ., well, I can't come up with a satisfactory comparison. But the emotions you conveyed rang as true for me.

Exceptionally well done! I loved the scene in the school office, although I expected it to be milked for a bit more humour, and would have enjoyed it. I could deconstruct each scene, bit by bit, and explain what I enjoyed about each one. But I ain't gonna! I loved the entire chapter. Period. End of declaration.

Except that I look forward to more of Casidhe's story.

Karen J.

edit: So, of course, Melanie beat my time of post by one minute, before this add. Melanie claims first blood. ;_)

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Expectations

I was shocked too, at first. I've gotten used to receiving a couple of comments within 100-200 reads. I didn't see anything until 300 or so. I thought I seriously screw the pooch with this chapter and turned everyone off of the story. See what happens when you start taking things for granted? I've got nothing at all to bitch about. I am humbled from the attention that I have received in the past, and don't take anything I receive from my readers as commonplace.

Now, the office scene: I didn't want to overuse the joke, as I've used her twice already, three times if I include today's post. But I have plans for her in the future that will include a nice long scene. Nobody has caught the mistake Casidhe made in one of the scenes that will come back to bite her in the butt.

More soon, I promise.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Caught?

Nobody has caught, nobody wants to catch, or nobody who saw it cares to comment? For myself, often I read a story to feel good and relax. Sometimes a story may trigger an analysis from me, but more often if I'm just reading, I'll just say I enjoyed a chapter, perhaps highlighting a notable scene or two. Such as dealing with clueless office workers who never learn (And so many never do.)

Have just dealt with an online pharmacy whose customer "care" staff simply refused to get that they could not call my doctor to clarify a prescription because she has closed her office, (what part of "closed" is so hard to understand?), I'm ready to read about someone who is dealing with that kind of stupidity and winning.

KJT

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Robots

Aren't the drones behind the counter annoying sometimes. People so bored with their lives that they shut their mind down and can't understand simple logic. When I was behind the counter I had a massive amount of compassion. Sometimes I couldn't do anything about it because of company policy, but I let them know that I cared.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Sorry, I'm one of the guilty

ones. I think I logged on and opened the story almost as soon as it was posted, then hibernated the laptop, as I was on my way out the door. It was several hours before I actually read it.

Wow, this girl moves fast!!

And it seems he doesn't really care the why of it all, he's pretty smitten. So if she didn't get the full story across to him, so what, as long as she's going to get some surgery in a few months anyway? Statistics would argue that their relationship won't last, but there is always the exception isn't there?

Of course, as Lilith would remind us, fairy tale endings are the boring ones, even though we seem to crave them.

I love the story, Lilith, can't wait for more.

Hugs
Carla Ann

Sub Par material

No apology needed, really. I'm still stunned at the amount of comments I received. Every day cannot be like Christmas in my life and I don't expect it to be. The reason I was was worried was because I thought I blew the story, not because I wasn't getting what I came to expect. I didn't want to let my readers down with something sub par.

But thank you for your thoughts!

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

wow

NoraAdrienne's picture

This guy is definitely a keeper. Now all she has to do is get a surgery date on the calender and she's ready to rock and roll.

Ah, if things were only that

Ah, if things were only that easy. LOL. Only 7-8 months left to go, and we've seen what can happen to Cas in only 3-4 months. Mayhem in the future, I tell you! Mayhem!

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Okay !!!

Where's the cold water!!!! Although judging by the last paragraph it's gone way past that stage, Still i guess one of the advantages of having your own house is not being disturbed by your family when you are having a little fun!!

Hugs Kirri

Remember the days in High

Remember the days in High School when your hormones ruled your life? Casidhe's sole ownership of the house plays a pivotal role in the story, obviously. But it ultimately might not be what you think. Freedom to do as you may can have consequences. But there I go with the doom and gloom. There's always the good parts that make it fun as well... well case in point.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Ooooh, Steamy! Casidhe might

Ooooh, Steamy! Casidhe might as well turn off the grill, she is hot enough to cook the steaks by herself. I just hope she and Mark can last until Dec. Janice Lynn

Bravo, you havent lost your

Bravo, you havent lost your touch while you were away

>>>>>I'm a new soul.I came to this strange world.Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.<<<<<

>>>>>I'm a new soul.I came to this strange world.Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.<<<<<

Heat

I think that is a very succinct description of that night, Heat.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Bicycle Shorts

joannebarbarella's picture

Leave little to the imagination and all serious cyclists shave their legs, even the girls!

The story is told with just the right touches of light-heartedness and humour, leavened by the angst of sexual ambiguity and lingering pain from the death of her parents.

Casidhe makes a winsome and worthy heroine who's got it together,

P.S. Love the new artwork!

Joanne

Neat chapter, wrong girl ... I think

By the ex-girlfriend I mean the one who broke up with Cas on prom night.

Now pyscho bitch, the girl who assaulted Cas at school, coming back is an interesting complication. Mind you anything she does to Cas would almost certainly violate any release/probation agreement and if she is 18 or more, off to women's prison.

Still she could do Cas a lot of harm. Will the ex-girlfriend be involved in any way or not?

She broke it off but might feel scorned because Cas found another, a man, so soon after being dumped, thus she might accidentaly or deliberately help the former girl gang leader. Or will she *take the bullet for her* by somehow saving Cas from harm and thus put Cas in the difficult position of having two lovers to choose from.

Sneaky how you brought in the embasy bombing again. I wonder, was Cas TG before the bomb or just very adaptable? He was very young when castrated and orphaned by the blast.

The terorist wasn't related to psycho bitch perhaps?

Maybe combine Josh W and good old Walt D, in the end.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Even if the Psycho hose beast

does cause a problem and actually outs Casidhe to Mark or even the School, I seriously think Casidhe has ground in enough popularity, wisdom, and personality to actually minimize the damage to all but a few hard core creeps. Casidhe has a care-free personality, infectious and caring in some ways, while being grittily real towards others. The shifting of this focus is what fascinates me and yet, she still finds the time to try and just fit in.

Even though Lilith's other stories equal in writing quality to EDIRODDIAA, none of them has Casidhe. She is the quality character which Lilith created and is by far the best creation Lilith has ever made to date.

That is, of course, my opinion, but I'm an addicted fan too!!! =^.^=
 
 

Sephrena Lynn Miller
BigCloset TopShelf
TGLibrary.com

Yeah, it would take quite a

Yeah, it would take quite a push to knock Casidhe off of her mountain at this point. But that's one of the pitfalls of High School. There are always people around that don't like it when the attention is off of them and on the new upstart to their power. Man, I really hated High School sometimes.

The trick to survival is to have loyal friends.

Either way, thank you sweetie, for loving Cas as much as I do.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Ah yes, Denise is who you

Ah yes, Denise is who you were thinking of. Yes, Denise is not forgotten. She's not going to be evil-ex-girlfriend, at least not yet, but she will still be involved in Cas' life at some point.

Psycho-girl: you are correct in your observations. I can tell you that she has no idea that Casidhe was once a boy. It has never clicked in her head. But maybe it will at one point. And no, the bomber and psycho-girl were not related. LOL.

Pre-bombing days. Yes, Cas was crossdressing before her parents were killed. It's in the first chapter, I think. somewhere around the age of 7 I believe.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

I need a cold shower!

Phewee... so glad I am seeing somebody tomorrow, I will take it out on him ;)

One of the Best,,,

...in a story full of great chapters -- several laugh-out-loud scenes.

As you noted in a comment (and as Casidhe told us she'd intended, I think), Casidhe's description of her physical status was ambiguous. But it seemed to me that Mark made the necessary extrapolation, based on his response:

"Does this mean that a woman that has uterine cancer and has to have a hysterectomy any less of a woman? Does it make her a man?"

The second question there seems like a non sequitur unless Mark thinks that's what Casidhe's talking about.

There's also the fact that Mark didn't want to go to Casidhe's room last time -- we know he's saving his virginity, but he presumably knows that there are intermediate points between kissing and sex, and chose not to do anything then. How far he'll want to go tonight, of course, remains to be seen. Casidhe seems to have gotten what she needed already...

Eric

Been there,

done that, had the conversation. Just about the same way it was written here in some semblance of pseudo-ambiguity. I loved this series from the very beginning, because it made me laugh and cry and that is what I especially look for when reading something.
What gave (and still gives) me the creeps is the uncanny semblance to events in my past. Mind you, it's not word for word the same, not by any shot, but it doesn't have to.
I remember the to and fro of conversations, leading to the point where I _had_ to spill the beans. I remember the beating about the bush explanation and I remember him still figuring it out. I was never able to remember his answer, except that it was way positive. And I remember the way he fried my brain with kisses and other things afterwards.
I guess in theory I'm able to appreciate your concerns about giving such an "ambiguous" explanation, but reality had something else altogether etched into my brain.

It touches my heart to know

It touches my heart to know that I've had that kind of response. I'll try my best to make sure I live up to the previous chapters just as much.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

I just have this urge to run

I just have this urge to run around and tell you what was going on in both of their minds during that scene, but it will be a little while until we know. All of you are very close to what actually happened. It's great to see what each of you thought, because I get to see the different interpretations to a scene that was so ambiguous.

Form what we've seen, Mark isn't a player, if in fact he is a virgin and not just saying he is. We all know people that play that game to get what they want. So that's still up in the air. However with the steam coming from the room at the end of this chapter I think we'll know soon enough.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Cheering, giggling and frissioning! Eeeeek!

Throughout the last two chapters I have been cheering, screeching, and bouncing up and down in my chair. I worry that she was not "point blank" enough, but it is still a very nice story.

That along with the fact that someone referred to me as "second wife" this weekend, the whole world is pink and happy.

Khadijah

Your neighbors called and

Your neighbors called and they want you to keep the noise down. *giggle*

What more can a girl want than to make others happy, in turn making her happy?

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Sorry I'm late in commenting...

but I hadn't read the previous parts of the story. I spent the whole bloody day starting from chapter one and don't regret a minute of the time!

Casidhe puts me in mind of Robert Heinlein's Podkayne of Mars, a precocious teenager far ahead of her age group. In fact, the entire tone of the series reminds me of Heinlein at his best. Very well done!

Whoa.

In the immortal words of Keanu Reeves, "Whoa."

High praise indeed. Thank you. Your coming was foretold by the oracl... never mind. Welcome to the little insane corner of my mind. Cokes to the left, Green Monster energy drinks to the right. Bring your own donuts and be at peace until the next chapter.

Lili

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

It seems...

Hypatia Littlewings's picture

... Casidhe came close to telling Mark but not quite,
unless....(pause).. he is good at reading between the lines.
;))

>i< ..:::

the heat level

is steadily climbing. she got the crowd worked up too.
thanks