Through the years: Tracy emerging part 11

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Tracy was silent for a moment, then she sighed. She didn't want to leave it like that. She was almost in the same boat as Sage. Guilt was welling up for the yelling and her actions. “It's okay.” Her voice cracked slightly. “Sage?”

Sage stopped, her hand on the door knob. “Yeah?”

“Sorry I yelled.” Tracy shut off the water and peeled back the curtain just enough to show her face. I...you mean well with it...I just didn't want.....”

Sage shut the door as Tracy let the curtain fall back in place. She could hear her friend start to cry. She walked in and grabbed a towel for her. “You didn't want someone to see you like you are?” She guessed.

“Yeah.” Tracy answered through the tears. “The past few months I've grown to hate that damn thing.”

“I know. That's how I've felt about mine for a while, too.” The crying began to get worse. Sage waited a moment, then she spoke again, her voice soft and full of concern. “Do you trust me? I won't do anything to hurt you.”

--SEPARATOR--

Thanks to Djkauf for the editing.

In this episode....Tracy is discovered

--SEPARATOR--

December 19th 1982
Livermore CA

Tracy awoke to the feel of Sage in her arms. Her arm lay over Sage's side and her chest was pressed against the redhead's back She let out a deep breath coupled with a yawn. Sage began to shift in the bed and rolled over to face her. She put an arm over Tracy and smiled warmly at her. “Morning. Sleep better?”

Tracy nodded as best as she could. “Yeah. I don't recall any dreams.”

“Good. But we should get up now.” Sage said as she lay there.

“Why?” Tracy asked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

“'Romy got up an hour ago and she's been in here almost every ten minutes waiting for you to wake up.” Sage stated.

“Why? Why is she waiting for me?” Tracy asked.

“You played a game with her yesterday.” Sage replied as though Tracy should have known the answer all along. “She's hopeful it will happen again. Plus when we take off today, she gets to come with us till we get dropped off at Stacey and Casey's.”

“Oh.” Tracy stated. “What's going on today?”

“We're hitting the mall today. I figured I'd go with you to my cousins place. Hey, you got good mall clothes?” Sage asked.

“I'll just wear a skirt. Pants still hurt to wear. The stupid stitches hurt like hell in pants.” Tracy stated.

“I bet.” Sage replied with a nod.

Tracy tried to keep her eyes on Sage, but her gaze went to the pillow. “Hey, now that we're alone, could I ask some questions? I've wanted to ask them for a while, but I'm always a bit nervous in front of Rachel and you're the only one I know that's like me.”

“Sure. Well it depends on the questions if I'll answer, but ask away.” Sage replied.

Tracy blushed as she thought about the question she had. “How do you wear pants without it showing?”

“It? What showing?” Sage asked, lifting her head as though she'd get to see Tracy's face better. Tracy turned her head so one eye looked at her friend. She glared as best as she could. Her arm moved from between then and she pointed down to her crotch.

“It” Tracy said.

“Oh...OH” Comprehension hit Sage's face. “You haven't learned to tuck yet? I thought you knew that.”

“Tuck?” Tracy asked, as an eyebrow raised up.

“You know....” She raised up on to an elbow and she gave Tracy a look of disbelief. “You take your....your thing and put it between your legs.” Sage's cheeks turned as red as her hair. “There's tricks to keep it there after you put it there too.”

“Really?” Tracy's cheeks began to match Sage's. “Could you show me later?”

Without thinking, the redhead replied. “Yeah. But with your stitches, you may have to wait on tucking. I luck out because it's not that big. Speaking about skirts, have you ever shaved your legs before?” Sage asked.

“Um...yes, once. The day we went home from here after Thanksgiving.” Tracy raised up on an elbow to match her friend. “Why do you ask?”

Sage smiled. “Just making sure of what hasn't been covered. It took mom a while to show me and I didn't know if you were having the same problem with your mother. But then my mom is a hippy.”

“No...” Tracy lay on her back and tried to shrug. “It was weird. That was something that Mom wanted to show me. I think she's really loving this whole daughter thing.”

“I've noticed that moms an dads are like that. They want a child that they can give their secrets to. Dad's want that boy to take fishing and throw the football with. Mom's need that little girl who wants to cook, sew and wear a beautiful wedding dress someday.” Sage lay on her back as well.

“Yeah.” Tracy replied.

The door to the bedroom opened up and Andromeda came in and looked at the two girls on the bed. Once she saw that they were awake, she began climbing onto the bed. As she got closer, her smile brightened and she lay down between Sage and Tracy. “Wet's pway” The little girl called out.

Tracy still hadn't gotten used to the girls mangled form of the English language, but it didn't slow Sage down. “No. First breakfast, then we play, then a shower.”

“I took bath yest'day” The little girl put out her lower lip. “I wanna pway now.”

Sage sat up and tried to look as mean as she could. “Well then, eat first, then shower, then mall. Then....maybe you and I can play a game.”

“But you gotta go with her.” 'Romy pouted, pointing at Tracy.

“Maybe.” Sage replied. “Who knows where we'll go to today.”

“Oh.” The wind seemed to go straight out of Andromeda's sails, for half a second, then she looked at her sister. “But can we pway a game before we go to the maw?”

~o~O~o~

Tracy was enjoying the hot water of the shower on her back. Two weeks of sponge baths had started to annoy her. She had done her best to stand in the same spot, for fear of falling and pulling out more stitches. She turned to shut off the water. Her elbow hit a bottle of shampoo that sat on a tiny shelf. At first she tried to grab at the bottle, but she stopped herself and lifted her foot out of the way instead.

The plastic bottle hit with a loud crash in the tub. Seconds later the bathroom door was flung open and someone ran in. “Tracy!” Sage called out, then she pulled the curtain back to see her friend still standing. “Oh thank god.” Sage breathed a sigh of relief.

Tracy just stood there, slightly shocked that Sage had showed up so fast. Both girls began to blush as they realized that Tracy was still naked. Tracy shrieked and grabbed at the curtain and flung it back in front of her. She got mad and screamed. “What are you doing!” It wasn't that she was naked that bothered her. But a part of her was ashamed that someone seen her in this body, with that thing between her legs. The more she was Tracy, the more that bugged her.

Persephone appeared in the doorway and looked at the figure behind the curtain and her daughter. “Everything okay in here?”

“Yes.” Tracy's slightly angry voice called out. Inside the shower she stood there, one arm over her chest, one over her crotch, even though she was blocked by the curtain. “I just knocked a bottle of shampoo off the wall.”

“Okay. Just take it easy sweetie. We don't need you falling in there.” Persephone replied.

“I'll be better. Not going to pick the bottle up though.” Tracy stated, but she hid the annoyance she felt by being babied again.

“No, just leave it there.” She looked to her daughter. “Come on Sage, give her some privacy.”

Sage turned as her mother walked out of the bathroom. “Sorry for bursting in.....and the curtain thing. I just thought you had fallen.”

Tracy was silent for a moment, then she sighed. She didn't want to leave it like that. She was almost in the same boat as Sage. Guilt was welling up for the yelling and her actions. “It's okay.” Her voice cracked slightly. “Sage?”

Sage stopped, her hand on the door knob. “Yeah?”

“Sorry I yelled.” Tracy shut off the water and peeled back the curtain just enough to show her face. I...you meant well with it...I just didn't want.....”

Sage shut the door as Tracy let the curtain fall back in place. She could hear her friend start to cry. She walked in and grabbed a towel for her. “You didn't want someone to see you like you are?” She guessed.

“Yeah.” Tracy answered through the tears. “The past few months I've grown to hate that damn thing.”

“I know. That's how I've felt about mine for a while, too.” The crying began to get worse. Sage waited a moment, then she spoke again, her voice soft and full of concern. “Do you trust me? I won't do anything to hurt you.”

Tracy nodded, but her friend couldn't see that. “Yeah.” She finally replied.

Sage slowly opened up the curtain, yet kept her attention towards the nearby wall and then shut her eyes. She took the towel and opened it up and held it out for Tracy. “Come here.”

Tracy stood there for a moment, blocking her body with her arms once again, then she stepped into the towel. Sage took a step back as she stepped out of the tub. Then when she was on the shower mat, Sage fixed the towel around her and turned to look her in the eyes. “It's gonna be okay.” Sage pulled her into a hug, one that Tracy didn't fight.

Tracy put her arms around Sage and rested her head on the redhead's shoulder. “Why was I born this way?”

“I don't know.” Sage replied, hugging her tight. She had asked herself the same question for years and was still waiting on an answer. “I just don't know.”

~o~O~o~

The girls were all dropped off at the mall by their mothers. Sage had offered the chance to not go, after Tracy's breakdown in the bathroom, but Tracy wanted to hang out with her new friends. She needed to be herself and with her friends. Being Tracy was the highlight of her life and she didn't want to miss it.

Tracy had hitched a ride with Persephone, who was elsewhere, opting to let the girls have some space. Tracy was in her wheelchair with Stacey pushing her. She had been worried about being in the wheelchair out in public, but being around Brooke made her feel better about it. Plus it had been pointed out that in the wheelchair she'd be less likely to be pushed over and hurt.

So the six girls spent the next two hours going from shop to shop. Much of their time was spend in the music store and any good clothing store. After the shopping and with purchases in hand, they headed for the food court, unaware that they had been watched for most of the time that they were in the mall. Stacey and Sage moved two tables together so all six of them could sit together. They pushed two of the chairs out of the way and let Brooke and Tracy roll up, one on each end of the sets of tables. Rachel, Sage and Stacey went for the food while Brooke took over the signing with Casey. “So what do you think of this?” Brooke asked.

“This...food court?” Tracy looked around the room. “Pretty cool. Our closest mall doesn't have one yet.”

“I like it, 'cause that means I don't have to wheel all over the parking lot for a place to eat.” Brooke replied.

Rachel Sage and Stacey came back with three trays of food and put them on the tables. The six girls tore into the food, while the sounds of Christmas music played about them. They began to watch the crowds go past. After twenty minutes of just eating and watching Tracy looked to a large clock on a nearby wall. “Hey, it's almost three.”

“That's cool. We should be meeting with our mothers soon.” Rachel said. The girls all stood up and Stacey took care of the trash as Sage began pushing Tracy towards the exit.

“Maybe we should just call this a sleepover night? I mean none of us have anything going on tonight.” Stacey suggested as she caught up with the group.

“Yeah, I'm all for it.” Brooke replied.

“I don't have anything planned.” Rachel replied.

“I think all of our parents were expecting this anyway.” Sage stated. “Let's go call them.”

“Good idea.” Rachel turned around and led the way to the pay phones. Tracy sat to the side with Casey while Sage, Stacey, Rachel and Brooke made their calls. When they were done, they headed for the main door of the mall again.

“Hey, how did your game go last night?” Tracy asked.

Brooke chuckled. “We lost by two points, but it was a great game. Got one hell of a workout.”

“Awesome.” Tracy smiled at her as reached the door and stepped outside to wait for their ride. The six girls sat there, waiting for Sage's mother to show up. They began discussing recent music videos and lost track of the time till a voice called out to them.

“Hey!” Two girls walked over and Sage and Rachel's jaws dropped. Tracy turned in her chair and her heart tried to stop.

Rachel looked at the two girls as they got closer. She didn't know how they got there, but it could only go bad for her friend. “Mary Beth, right? And Emily May?”

“That's us.” Mary Beth said as they stopped just in front of the group. “I was gonna call you and see if you wanted to hang out tomorrow, but I left your number at home.”

“That's okay.” Rachel replied. Her mind was racing, trying to think of a way to get Tracy out of there.

“Hi.” Mary Beth said to Sage. I thought you were going to Vermont?

“That got canceled.” Sage said. “They decided to come out here after Christmas.”

“Oh, cool.” Mary Beth said.

“Not really, I was looking forward to the snow.” Stacey stated.

“You're sisters?” Mary Beth said, looking between Sage and Stacey.

Stacey chuckled. “Nope. She's my cousin. My mom and her mom are sisters, Uncle Joey is their brother.” She pointed to the girl with the white streak in her black hair. “This is my sister, Casey. I'm Stacey.”

“Hi.” Mary Beth's eyes fell on Tracy. She knew his face, mostly because of the bruise that was slowly going away on his right cheek and the wrist in the brace. She thought back to the conversation she had overheard between Peter and Troy and it all fell into place. Her mouth began moving before her brain could filter anything out. “And you're Tracy.” Her lips pulled into a smile, not a mean or feral one, but a warm and friendly grin.

“You...you know?” Tracy stammered. Sage and Rachel only barley held their shock. Her heart began to pound and she knew she was up the creek. Everyone at school was going to know and she'd be dead when school started.

Emily looked to her sister, eyebrow raised. “Who is Tracy?” She asked.

“She is.” Mary Beth replied, gesturing to Tracy.

“So...um, how do you know her?” Emily May asked. She had been wondering why her sister was following the girls all afternoon, and it still made no sense.

“You know her, too.” Mary Beth replied.

“I do?” Emily looked at the girl in the wheelchair and it hit her. “Troy?!?” Tears began to run down Tracy's face and she bent over in her seat.

“Not so loud!” Sage moved around the wheelchair and stood in front of the two sisters. “Are you two that stupid? Do you want her to get hurt?”

“Okay...What's going on?” Brooke asked, deeply confused by the two new girls.

“These two go to school with Troy.” Rachel replied.

“Oh shit.” Brooke answered. “They didn't know?”

“Stacey, can you get Tracy away from here for a moment, I wanna talk to these two.” Sage said, holding in her anger as best as she could as she stood there.

“Sure.” Stacey replied as she grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed Tracy down the sidewalk.

“You can't just go yelling out names like that. Do you want her to be hurt?!?” Sage snapped at the sisters.

“I didn't mean to, I was just shocked.” Emily looked and sounded like a scolded child.

“If the wrong type person heard that, there could be a big problem.” Sage glared at Mary Beth. “How did you find out?!?”

“I heard Peter call him that at school. And I know he was wearing a skirt at the hospital.” Mary Beth began to imitate her sister, both of them seeming to shrink in size next to Sage. “I didn't mean to hurt her feelings or anything. I wanted to ask her about it for a week or so now, but she got hurt at school again and I tried at the hospital, but I had to leave.”

“Ever think that maybe this is something she wanted to keep hidden?!?” Sage half yelled as she stepped forward.

Rachel looked around and saw a few adults looking their way. She put a hand on her friends shoulder and stepped up to her side. “Sage, people are watching.” Sage glared at her and she didn't flinch. “For Tracy's sake. Tone. It. Down.” She spoke each word clearly and just glared at her friend.

Sage took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. Rachel looked to the two sisters. “Why did you come up to us out here? Trying to ruin her day? Make fun of her?”

“Troy seems like..” Mary Beth started, but was cut off by Rachel, Brooke and Sage.

“Tracy.” All three said.

“What?” Mary Beth asked.

“Look down there.” Rachel said. “There is no Troy today, just Tracy. Don't use the words he, him, his or Troy around her, it's rude.”

“Oh.” Mary Beth blinked a couple of times. She waited a moment, till Sage made a rolling hand gesture, telling her to get on with the story. “He...She's always been a nice person, but I was always stuck in my group of friends. The few times we've worked on projects for class together, she's always been helpful. Then after he..she got attacked I felt bad because I had never been nice to him. Plus I was curious about the skirt. I know what I saw at the hospital.”

Mary Beth looked past them to where Stacey was on one knee and hugging Tracy. “I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, It's just that after seeing her hanging out with you, I thought she'd want to hang out with us back home too. I got a lot of girl friends that go to school with us, she could be a part of our group.. She seems like she's really fun to be around.”

“She is, but she's also fragile.” Sage replied.

“So what is she?” Emily asked, not realizing how rude the statement was. Sage, Rachel and Brooke all leveled their gazes onto the older girl. And if looks could have killed, she would have been a greasy smear on the sidewalk.

“She's a girl.” Sage hissed at her.

“But Troy is a boy.” Emily May replied.

“Yes. And Tracy is how she should have been born.” Sage held up a hand to stop other questions. “Look, can we talk about this elsewhere? This isn't something that everyone should hear.”

Emily shrugged. “Sure, I guess.”

“Can...” Mary Beth looked to her feet an sighed. “Could we tell her we're sorry? Please?”

“Let me ask her. Stay here.” Sage didn't wait for a response, she turned and walked to where her cousin was. Her mind was working on a way to calm both Tracy down and figure out what to do with those girls.

Stacey was on one knee, holding Tracy's shoulder when Sage walked up. She started to drop to her knees and Stacey moved out of the way. “Tracy?” Sage spoke quietly, in a very comforting tone.

“What?” She asked before she sniffled.

“You okay?” Sage asked.

“My life is ruined.” Tracy began to cry again. Sage leaned forward and Tracy wrapped her arms around her friend.

“You're life isn't ruined. They want to apologize for what they've done.”

“I-it d-doesn't m-ma-matter.” Tracy sobbed out. “T-the sch-school...they'll te-tell everyone.”

“Let it out.” Sage patted her back as an idea popped into her mind. “But I think we can show them how that would be a mistake.”

“H-how.” Tracy sobbed out.

Sage moved Tracy's head so she could see in her eyes. “You'll have to trust me.” She said. “But we'll tell them everything. Including Bruce.”

“Why?” Tracy wiped at her eyes with her good hand.

“To show them what will happen when someone finds out.” Sage replied. But telling the story was only a part of her plan.

“O-okay.” Tracy sniffled. “She k-keeps as-asking 'bout it.”

“So we tell them.” Sage wiped a tear off her cheek. “But they want to talk to you. Can they?” Tracy nodded and Sage looked over to Rachel and gestured for them to come over. “Be strong. Rachel and I won't let them hurt you.”

“Okay.” She replied as Mary Beth and her sister slowly walked over with Rachel, Brooke and Casey.

Sage got up as Stacey turned her wheelchair around. Both Mary Beth and her sister couldn't look Tracy in the face. Tracy sat there while her classmate slowly made circles on the pavement with her shoe. “Um...Tracy? I'm sorry for embarrassing you out here. It was stupid to follow you out here, I just wanted to...I thought that maybe you'd want to hang out, I didn't mean to upset you.”

“Yeah...” Emily May managed to look up for a moment, then she looked back to the ground again. “Sorry for calling you the wrong name.”

“You didn't know.” Tracy replied. “It's okay.” She wiped at her eyes once more.

The sounds of Persephone's VW bus pulled Sage's attention from the girls for a moment. She pulled her cousin aside and began whispering.

As the bus pulled in a handicapped parking spot, Sage looked back to the two girls. “Who are you staying with?” Sage asked.

“Our Aunt.” Mary Beth replied.

“She live in Livermore?” All eight of the girls began going over to the parked van. Half a second later a blue ford pulled up and parked near the Van.

“No, Dublin.” Emily answered, “Why?”

“Even better. I was wondering if she'd let you come over to my Cousin's place for a sleepover.” Lilian got out of the car and went to the bus and slid the door open as Brooke and Casey got near. “Aunt Lillian! Mom! I gotta talk to you!” Sage called out an went over to her. From inside the bus, they could see 'Romy waving at all of them.

While Sage was talking to her mother and Aunt, Mary Beth tried to smile at Tracy. “I am sorry for being mean. But you are really pretty like that.”

“Thank you.” Tracy replied.

A horn sounded and Emily May looked to the lot, then tapped her sister on the shoulder. “Hey, we should get going, our Aunt is here.”

Sage ran back over. “Hold on a minute. Can we see if you can come over?”

“Sure I guess.” Mary Beth shrugged.

“You'd want to spend time with us? After how we treated Tracy?” Emily May asked.

“Yes. You need to meet the real Tracy. And a sleepover is just the thing.” Sage said and that caused Rachel to look at her. “Mom, could you lend me a hand?”

Persephone nodded. Sage pushed the wheelchair over to a black station wagon, with Stacey, Casey and Rachel in tow. Mary Beth smiled and waved at the lady who had just parked when they got close. “Hi, Aunt Jill.”

“Hello young lady. Who are your friends?” The woman stayed in her car, but blinked in surprise at Sage. “Sage....Sage Miller”

Sage's smile brightened. “Mrs. Conley!!”

“How are you doing young...” Jill did a quick scan of what Sage was wearing, then she looked at the girl. “lady?”

“Great. Just great.” At this point the other girls were all confused.

“Um, Sage, who is this?” Rachel asked.

“Yeah, how do you know our Aunt.” Mary Beth looked between the girl and her aunt.

Sage smiled. “She's the receptionists at my therapist.”

“Wow.” Emily May said.

“It sure is a small world.” Jill said as she got out of her car and gave Sage a hug. “So how did you meet my nieces?”

“Actually, they go to school with my friend, Tracy.” Sage put a hand on Tracy's shoulder.

“Oh.” Jill looked at Tracy and nodded. “It is a small world then.”

“We were wondering if we could invite them over to our place for a sleepover....Well my cousin's place, but I think you've met my Aunt Lilian before.”

At this point the two women had come over to see what was going on. “Ah, yes, I remember. Hello Lilian, hello Persephone. I take it you're aware what she's asking?”

“To have the girls spend the night with them?” Lilian asked.

“And you're okay with it?” Jill asked.

“I think so. I mean Tracy has had a bad couple of weeks, so the more friends the better, right?” Lillian replied. Persephone leaned in and whispered into Sage's ear, who just nodded.

“There is something else.” Sage said. “But can I talk to you alone about it? Well, you and Tracy? It does concern her.”

“Come on girls, let's give them some space.” Persephone led Rachel, Casey and Stacey away from the others. Sage began to push Tracy away from the car, with the older lady following. When they got halfway down the lot, she stopped and looked to Jill.

“Ma'am, Tracy is almost like me. She was born into a boy's body.” Sage started off.

“I see. But you can't really tell that.” Jill replied after looking at Tracy very closely.

“At the start of the month she was attacked, badly. Your nieces found out about her and Tracy is worried that they'll spread the fact she's here in a dress at school.” Sage stated. “We don't really know how they heard, but Mary Beth said she heard it from a friend. We want to make sure they understand the dangers that Tracy faces if they tell their friends what they saw.”

“I could talk to them if you want.” Jill stated.

“True. But if we do that, then they think Tracy is either stuck up or something. They know and that makes them a danger to Tracy. But if we tell them what happened to her and show them something. Then, maybe then they'll see what could happen.”

“Like what?” Jill asked.

Sage looked at Tracy, then she went around the wheelchair and raised up and whispered into the old lady's ear. After a few moments she stopped and Jill just gasped. “Oh, I see.”

“See, this is why we want to talk to them. Plus if they get the chance to hang out with Tracy here, they may not bug her at school and possibly slip around other people.” Sage stated.

“That makes sense.” Jill nodded slowly. “When? Tonight?”

“If it's okay? We're all going to be at my cousin's place tonight.” Sage replied.

“Let me talk to your Aunt and mother and I'll let you know, okay?” Jill said.

“Okay.” Sage pushed Tracy back to her mother and Aunt. “She wants to talk to you. I'll help Tracy get in the bus.”

“Thanks sweetheart.”

“Come on Tracy.” Sage said. “Let's get set to go.”

Tracy was silent till they reached the van. Then as she began to get up, with Rachel's help, she stopped and looked to Sage. “Think this is a good idea?”

“I don't know. They know about you already. But we can talk to them and tell them why it needs to be kept a secret. Plus this way, like I told Mrs. Conley, they may not bug you to hang out when you're at home.”

“God, I hope so. I doubt their Dad will understand.” Tracy replied.

--SEPARATOR--

Will it end well? Or is the end nigh?

--SEPARATOR--

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Through the years: Tracy emerging part 11

Me, I am hoping that the girls will support Tracy and help her as she continues to be Tracy

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Will it end well? Or is the

Will it end well? Or is the end nigh?

Took the words from my mouth practically! :)

Faraway


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Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

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Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!