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Image Credits: Title Picture purchased and licensed for publishing from

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Divider licensed for use in publishing from Photoshopgraphics.com ~Sephrena.

Author's Note: This second edition of Camp Shoni replaces the 16 previously posted chapters at both Crystal's Story Site and a few other archive sites and is revised and with 5 new chapters. ~Pamela.

Historical Versions: Originally posted at Crystal's Storysite in 2004, and Fictionmania in 2011. ~Sephrena.

Legalities: Archiving and reposting of this story *unchanged* is permitted provided that: 1) You must have contacted the author, Pamela, and have asked permission first and received said permission to host this particular work. 2) No fee be charged, either directly or indirectly (this includes so-called "adult checks") or any form of barter or monetary transfers in order to access viewing this work *and* (3) PROVIDED that this disclaimer, all author notes, legalities and attribution to the original author are contained unchanged within the work. 4) The author of this work, Pamela, must be provided free account access at all times the work is hosted in order to modify or remove this work at her sole discretion.

The characters, situations, and places within this work are fictional. Any resemblance between actual people (living or dead), places, or situations is entirely coincidental.

This work is the copyrighted material of the respective author. ~Pamela.

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Chapter 13
 
On Monday morning Marilyn announced that she would be holding auditions for the camp play that afternoon. Due to unforeseen circumstances, namely, the interference of the camp director, they would be putting on a production of "A Chorus Line" and not "Oliver". It was clear to the girls that Marilyn was none to happy about the switch: she had a perfect "Oliver" picked out from among the younger campers, but Ms. Rovelstad preferred shows with dancing and a better balance of girl and boy parts than were in Oliver. She felt that Oliver was mainly a boy's play. Marilyn had argued with her about it to no avail and so the switch was made. As far as Lauren was concerned, however, the news could not have been better. She could easily see herself as one of the girls in the chorus line and she would do her best to audition for such a part. It would be so much fun to wear a little dance outfit and perform in synchronization with some other girls.

Joan was also interested in auditioning but Thalia was not. The two friends cajoled Thalia to at least volunteer to do one of the non-acting jobs and it didn't take too long for Thalia to agree - but she definitely would not do any acting.

"It's so great," Lauren said. "We can go together every day and it'll be so much fun."

Joan was equally excited. "I want to get the role of Cassie. I felt so sorry for her when I saw it on Broadway."

"That's a bigger part than I want," Lauren said, "I'd just be happy to be one of the girls who auditions and maybe one who gets into the cast."

"We could end up being chosen as boy dancers," Joan said.

"Yuck!" Lauren said, "the last thing I want to be is a boy."

She had reacted a bit too forcefully and she worried that maybe Joan or Thalia would think her odd.

"It's just acting the part of a boy. It's not actually being a boy," Joan said and then she and Thalia laughed. Joan continued, "anyway, while I don't want to be a boy I think it would be kind of cool to walk around being a boy for awhile. Having a boy's muscles, not having a period."

"Not having to worry about what we look like," Thalia added, "and especially not having to worry about the size of our boobs all the time."

"Just not having to wear a bra would be so great," Joan said.

"Exactly," Thalia said.

Lauren looked at the two of them in disbelief wondering if they were just trying to tease her, but they sure looked serious. It was weird listening to them since she herself thought that wearing a bra had to be one of the most fun things a girl gets to do.

"Well I think it's nice to be a girl and I'd rather work on the costumes or something rather than have to even act the part of a boy," Lauren said.

"I really doubt that Marilyn would pick you to be a boy. You're definitely one of the bunniest of the bunnies!" Joan said.

Lauren took that as a high compliment and the three girls left to pursue their first activity of the day. Each felt more than a little trepiditious as to what they would end up doing for the camp production.
 

 
That afternoon, Lauren, Thalia and Joan along with Eileen, Janet and Ann from their cabin, went to the barn that doubled as a theatre for the camp productions. Lauren had her heart set on being one of the girl dancers and she surveyed the competition. More than two dozen girls had shown up including Marcie and some of her friends. Lauren waved at Marcie and she nodded her head slightly in recognition. When all the girls were assembled, Marilyn made an introductory speech in which she emphasized that everyone would get something to do in or for the play. In fact, some of them might even have multiple jobs. Marilyn insisted that all the girls audition for a part, even those who didn't want one.

She separated the girls into those who could claim to have had a lot of acting or dancing experience and those who had not. In the first group was Joan who had studied ballet since she was five years old. While the girls from the second group watched, Marilyn divided the girls from the first group into three rows and showed them some dance steps and then had them repeat the steps back to her. Marilyn took notes on a clipboard and made nice comments about everyone. It was plain as day to Lauren that a few of the girls were very, very, good, in particular, Joan. There was also a girl Toni from Marcie's cabin who was probably the best dancer of all.

When they were done auditioning, Marilyn had them step aside and then coaxed the remainder of the girls to form several rows. "You've watched the other girls enough so that you should be able to copy what they did," she said, and then turned on the music and had them dance. Fortunately for Lauren she had concentrated hard on how Joan had been dancing and felt that she could easily imitate the movements herself. A number of the girls in her group had two left feet and Lauren gained more and more confidence in what she was doing. She might not be up to the level of Joan and certainly the girl Toni, but she could dance rings around some of the other girls in the group. It was exhilarating to be a girl and dancing like a girl - utterly free and unselfconsciously, and especially without boys around, since they always made her feel like she had to watch what she was doing.

Marilyn offered comments to the different girls and to Lauren she said, "you surprise me again Lauren. You've got a wonderful sense of rhythm and timing." The surprise was that she couldn't imagine that a boy could dance as gracefully and effeminately as Lauren. It was obviously just Amy's paranoia that had led to her own suspicion about Lauren being a boy.

After the auditions were over, Marilyn said, "well I guess this is a case of life imitating art, since just like the show you auditioned for, I now have to decide who gets what parts. The cast has 16, some acting parts, some dancing parts and of these eight will make the final cut in the show, and there are 30 of you. Those who don't get a part I hope will stay to work on the sets and costumes."

"I want Toni to play Cassie. She's performed semi-professionally at dinner theatre near her town and it certainly shows in her polish and skill. I think we are all very lucky she happens to be here this summer." Toni blushed and excitedly clapped her hands together and then profusely thanked Marilyn.

Lauren stole a glance at Joan to see how she took the news that she wouldn't be Cassie, but if she was feeling anything she didn't show it.

"Eileen will make a fine Larry, Zach's assistant," Marilyn continued. "Zach's voice will go to Jeanette and Marcie is a natural for Mike one of the principal dancers."

She proceeded to assign parts for the rest of the male dancers, Mark, Gregory, Don, Richie and Paul. She then started to say who would be the girl dancers. She assigned Joan the role of Sheila, and then gave the parts of Maggie, Kristine, Diana, Judy and Connie. As each part was given out without hearing her name being called, Lauren felt more and more fearful that she wouldn't get a dancing part. She felt flushed with embarrassment for being so naive as to think she could actually get the part of a girl dancer ahead of real girls.

There was only one part left and about a dozen girls who hadn't been called. Some like Thalia were happy to not be asked to act. After a pause where Marilyn seemed to be weighing each of the remaining girls carefully she said. "The last part is that of Val. She's notable for having had implants to help her chances for getting a part." Marilyn suddenly turned to Lauren and said, "Lauren, I think you'd be a great Val. You've got a good frame for the part. You'll have to wear falsies; I mean big falsies and a larger bra to hold them. I hope you won't mind, will you?"

When the reality of what Marilyn had said sank in, Lauren shrieked in excitement and ran up to Marilyn and hugged her. Barely comprehending the part about having to wear large fake boobs she said, "oh, it's no problem at all!" Marilyn looked at her, smiled, and thought to herself, "mark me surprised, the little bugger will just love to have big tits. Whether boy or girl or whatever Lauren is, this is the perfect revenge to Amy. If Lauren really is a boy, having him dressed up in falsies will be a nice extra little reason for Amy to squirm. No Oliver, indeed!"

After a final discussion about how often they would rehearse and what the girls needed to do to prepare for the play, Marilyn dismissed them for the day. As they walked back to their cabin, Thalia congratulated Joan and Lauren for getting great parts. "I'm so happy she didn't try to con me into acting or dancing," Thalia said.

"I so wanted to be Cassie," Joan said, "but Toni was so fabulous. I'm happy to settle for the part of Sheila. It's so nice that both Val and Sheila make the cut so we'll be doing a lot of dancing together!"

"It's so weird that ..." Thalia started to say and then stopped.

"What?" Lauren asked her.

"You know that Marilyn wants you to wear falsies."

"It's just that Val is the girl who represents how much girls have to sacrifice to men to get ahead!" Joan said. "It's important she be really big, and I don't think any of us are big enough naturally."

"I don't mind at all," Lauren said with some emotion. She was worried that somehow one thing might lead to another and Marilyn would change her mind either about Lauren being Val, or about making her wear the larger bra.

"It's OK," Thalia said, "I was thinking that you might find it really uncomfortable."

"Maybe," Lauren said, "but I think I ought to give it a chance."

"My older sister told me about a guy she knows who wears big boobs all the time. He thinks he's a girl. Ewwww! It's really weird!" Joan said.

"Oh, yuck!" Thalia said.

"Bizarre!" Lauren said and pretended to laugh. It was a bit of shock to find out that her two best friends at camp felt that way. On the other hand, it was hard to know what would be the natural reaction of most girls to boys who envied them and wanted to be girls. Probably Penny would act the same way as Joan and Thalia. Even if most girls had a bad first reaction, Lauren felt for sure that once they got to know the boys better they would not find them to be yucky at all. A boy who wanted to have breasts was probably not even a boy at all - just someone who looked like a boy.

Lauren continued, "I don't think it's weird for a girl to wear falsies. I mean if it gives her a better shape." From the looks on Joan and Thalia's faces it seemed clear that they interpreted her remark as being the natural belief of any flat-chested girl.

Lauren felt a bit dejected and fell behind Joan and Thalia as they walked. As it turned out Marcie was nearby and Lauren fell into step walking next to her. "Good luck with your boobs," Marcie said.

Lauren gave her a pained look and Marcie added, "I didn't mean anything by that."

"I can't tell if you like me or dislike me," Lauren said. "I mean at first you scared me and then at the dance you were very nice to me. So I don't know what to make of what you're saying." Lauren amazed herself at her frankness.

Marcie laughed and said, "you're right. At first I did want to scare you. But there was something about you that I liked. It's hard to say for sure. While you're the kind of girl that sets back the women's lib movement, you also seem to be determined to be who you are. I respect that. Don't take it the wrong way, but there is something about you that reminds me of the way guys are."

Lauren's eyes widened in surprise. Marcie was watching Lauren's face and waited for her to say something, but instead Lauren kept quiet. "Like the way you volunteered to be gonger," Marcie said, "that's a guy thing."

"I like getting up early," Lauren protested.

"There isn't a girl in the camp who wouldn't sleep till noon if she had the chance," Marcie said.

"So would boys," Lauren said.

"You don't know that," Marcie said.

"Are you happy with the part you got?" Lauren said changing the subject.

"As a matter of fact I am."

"You don't mind being a boy?"

"Mind? I think it's cool, cause I get to slobber over girls like you. Especially when they have big boobs."

Lauren could tell Marcie was joking with her, but it definitely stung to know that she only had big boobs because she could put them in her bra. "You're lucky that you're so pretty and have a great figure," Lauren said.

"You're very pretty Lauren. You know that."

"But I have to be Val to get a figure," Lauren said, sounding dejected. It wasn't totally intentional, but it came out that way.

"Don't feel bad," Marcie said and she put her arm around Lauren's shoulder, "some girls develop later than others, but even more important it doesn't really matter. Just be yourself. That's what counts."

Lauren was surprised by the show of affection and said, "I'm sorry Marcie. I think I like you a lot."

They walked that way all the way to Lauren's cabin where Marcie finally took her arm off her shoulder. "See you at the first rehearsal," Lauren said and Marcie smiled at her.
 

 
The next night at dinner, Amy asked Marilyn how the play was going. "Just fine, we've got a lot of nice dancers."

"And what about our friend Lauren?"

"She's got a part in the play. She dances well enough to deserve the role."

"I wasn't referring to whether she's in the play. I was wondering if you've seen anything new about her."

"No, not really."

"What about her mail?"

"She's gotten a bunch of letters."

"I've got to check with Camp Dan if they've gotten any more mail for Lorin Baxter. Maybe you ought to open up the letter for Penny and see what it says."

"OK, I guess that makes sense. Maybe there is a clue on how to get it to its rightful owner."
 

 
Back at the cabin, Marilyn saw that the girls were sitting in small groups talking. Thalia, Joan and Lauren were together as usual. She took out Penny's letter and opened it up, and read:
 
 

Dear Lorin: I miss you already, but I'm keeping busy so I don't feel bad. My family are big believers in looking ahead, though I do cheat on occasion and remember our last few times together. How sweet you were! I hope you're wearing the blouse I gave you; you look so nice in the pretty salmon color! It'll make you not forget me! Ha, ha! In case you're wondering, the buttons are opposite to those on boy shirts. Don't let the guys razz you for wearing a girls' shirt. Just teasing! I'm wearing your red tee shirt every day and I haven't washed it yet!

 
 
The letter continued on telling about what she was doing and other mundane details. It was signed, "Loving and missing you, Penny."

Marilyn reflected on what she had read. She vaguely remembered seeing Lauren wearing a salmon colored blouse. She'd have to keep closer watch for it or maybe even search her things the next chance she got. In any event, she would definitely not tell Amy about what she had discovered.
 

 
Two days later at the first rehearsal, Marilyn gave out costumes. For Lauren it was a cute light blue leotard with a short skirt, not all that different from her swimming suits. Marilyn also gave her and the other girls tights and dance shoes in light colors that matched their dance outfits. For the girls who were to play the parts of boys, Marilyn had black pants and different colored tee shirts for them to wear.

While the girls were changing into their costumes, Marilyn took Lauren aside and pulled out a large, white bra from a storage bin.

"I think it's a 34D. That should fit you, shouldn't it?"

"Oh, sure," Lauren said, "all my bras are 34, but not D!"

Marilyn laughed, "I should say!" and while she continued rummaging around in the bin she said out loud to herself, "we'll soon take care of that!" Then, one at a time she removed two large life-like silicone breast forms. "These babies are for you too!" she said.

"Oh my gosh," Lauren said, amazed at the large, heavy breast forms.

"Is this a problem for you?" Marilyn asked, "I could pick another girl to be Val?"

"Oh, no!" Lauren practically yelled and then calmly said, "I was just a little surprised at how large they are, but I'm sure I won't have a problem with them."

"Good. In fact, you might as well wear them every rehearsal so you get used to dancing in them," Marilyn said, and then added, "I suppose it also wouldn't hurt if you wore them as often as you can."

"All the time?" Lauren said.

"Yes, well, only if you want to."

Suddenly Lauren thought that Marilyn was implying that it would do her good to always wear the breast forms and she said, feeling anxious, "you think I'm too flat-chested?"

"No honey, no," Marilyn said, "it's just that I think it'll make you a better Val to be in the part all the time."

To be truthful Lauren did not believe her, but considering how nice the thought was of having larger breasts for the rest of the summer she knew she wouldn't protest. "But there is only the one bra. I don't think these will fit in my own bras! And what about the dances?"

Marilyn reached in the draw and pulled out a second bra that was similar to the first, but a bit fancier with more lace on the cups and little bows at the top of the straps and at the center gore. "Voila, you can wear this bra when the other is being laundered. And you're right, the boys will notice the difference from last week and tease you mercilessly, so I definitely think you better not wear them to the dances."

"OK," Lauren said taking the second bra from Marilyn.

"Now run along and change!"

Lauren entered the dressing room while most of the girls were on their way out. She went into a corner and as was her habit back at the cabin, she shyly faced the wall and changed out of her own bra into the lacier of the white bras Marilyn had given her. None of the other girls saw how flat she was during the half minute that she was braless during the exchange. The white bra fit her fine, in fact, in some ways it was more comfortable than the bras she had brought to camp. She contemplated the large breast forms, trying to decide which one went in which bra cup. They had clearly delineated nipples that stuck up ever so slightly and she wondered if they would be visible through the bra.

Finally she made a decision and put one in one cup and the other one in the other cup. The transformation to her small body was remarkable and she felt like she was immense and ever so much more feminine than she had felt before. It was a kind of overwhelming feeling of being consumed by her female side as if she had taken the very last step toward becoming a bona fide girl. She closed her eyes and let herself feel the wonderful heaviness of the breasts pulling on her chest. Happiness surged inside her and she felt ever so much more confidant that the path she had chosen was the right one - indeed, it was the only one. The many questions that had plagued her about what would happen at the end of the summer now seemed to be answered. She would remain a girl. She would have to. Someway, somehow, she would never let herself be parted from this feeling of her true female self.

Lauren sat down and put the light blue tights on. Then she stepped into the light blue dance leotard with the little skirt and pulled it up to her waist. She put her arms in the sleeves and pulled it up. The neck opening got caught on her bra and she had to wriggle a bit until she got it past the large protuberances. Once on, Lauren straightened it out, arranging the skirt and the shoulders and pressing the fabric against her large bosoms. She sat down again and put on the ballet shoes.

"Are you coming?" she heard Marilyn call to her and Lauren ran out of the changing room. Completely beyond her control she burst into the biggest smile she had ever had in her life.

"How does it fit?" Marilyn asked.

"It's so comfortable!"

"Is the weight a problem? Are they too heavy?"

"Oh, no, I don't think so," Lauren said.

"Good. Go and join the other girls."

Lauren ran to join the other girls on stage. All heads turned when she came out, most especially the girls from her cabin that were blown out by her incredible figure. Lauren felt like a million bucks inside and so happy she could melt.

A smile crossed Marilyn's face as she watched Lauren literally bursting with joy and frolicking around in her cute pale blue outfit. She was so going to love it when Amy got to see the new Lauren.
 

 
Marilyn handed out scripts to the girls and began the task of teaching them the dance numbers. To some extent she had to force herself to become enthusiastic, since her planning for so long had been to do "Oliver." But the obvious delight the girls took in dancing eventually won her over. There was no reason why she and the girls should not have as good a time as possible and she made a real attempt to get the girls to dance in unison with as much style as possible.

Marilyn lined up the dancers who would be girls on one side of the gym and those who were to be boys on the other. "You all need to partner off, so spend a few minutes and decide who will dance with whom."

Lauren eyed the "boy" dancers and saw that Marcie was looking directly at her and in an instant she knew that Marcie would be her partner. Happily she walked toward Marcie and the two of them announced to Marilyn that they would be paired off. There was something about Marcie that made Lauren feel safe. Perhaps it was the fact that Marcie was so decisive and seemed to know how to do everything. It was a similar way with Penny, who knew what music she liked, what clothes to wear, what she wanted to do with her time. Neither Marcie nor Penny seemed to sit around worrying about who would be their friends, or if they were liked. It freed up a lot of their time to just live and Lauren wished she could reach a place just like that someday. When she was with a girl like Marcie or Penny then she always knew what she should be doing and she did not have to worry about anything.

"Now that you all have partners," Marilyn said as she looked around the room, "I want you to dance together and to help each other learn the routines. That's the point of pairing off - watch each other and make sure your partner isn't making any mistakes." The girls nodded their agreement and Marilyn began the process of teaching them the dance steps she wanted them to know. After she walked them all through the first dance number five times, she then let the partners practice it again and again helping each other. Both Marcie and Lauren were pretty good at memorizing the steps and it wasn't long until they were dancing together in unison having a wonderful time.

After an hour of practice, Marilyn had each of the couples perform the routine in front of her. When it was Marcie and Lauren's turn they danced the whole number together flawlessly and when they were done Lauren curtsied and Marcie bowed. Marilyn complimented them on their rapid progress and the two of them ran off laughing together. As they collected their breaths they walked together toward the far reaches of the barn and sat down on a bench behind a clothing rack containing costumes. Lauren was exhilarated by the activity and the fact that it had gone so well at the start. She saw Marcie looking at her smiling and she laughed when Marcie moved over on the bench and gave her a hug. Lauren then put her arms around Marcie and hugged her back. Marcie held her tightly for longer than a moment and Lauren was surprised when Marcie seemed to continue to hold her without let up. Lauren could feel their breasts pressing against each other, in fact, Marcie was purposefully pushing her own breasts hard against Lauren's.

"Marcie!" Lauren said finally and the stronger girl pulled back, still smiling at her.

"You dance very well," Marcie said.

"Thanks, and you do too," Lauren said and wondered if she had put a meaning to their hug which hadn't actually been there.

They could hear Marilyn calling the girls to assemble for a final word before they were to be dismissed, and Marcie and Lauren got up and joined the others.
 

 
That night in the dining hall, Amy noticed the improvement to Lauren's figure. Lauren had been thoroughly enjoying the increased attention she had been getting from the other girls. Even though everyone knew that her boobs were phony and that the reason she was allowed to wear them was to help prepare for the camp show, it nonetheless aroused endless comments and discussion among the girls. To some extent it was due to how exotic Lauren looked - she was after all somewhat slight of frame so the large projecting breasts made her look like a starlet in a B movie.

Lauren was carrying her tray of turkey and mashed potatoes back to her table when Amy looked up and saw the remarkable sight. The combination of the pink bunny shirt and breasts was more than a little risqué and Amy was perplexed as to how this had happened. When desert was just about over she walked over to Lauren's table and said to Marilyn, "what's going on here?" indicating Lauren with a movement of her head. Marilyn played dumb and said, "what do you mean Amy?"

"You know what I mean. One of your campers has had a remarkable transformation!"

"Oh, you mean Lauren's breasts?" Marilyn said and to Lauren she directed, "Tell Ms. Rovelstad what you're doing."

"I'm playing Val in the camp production of Chorus Line. She's had implants," Lauren said.

Seeing that Amy did not fully understand, Lauren added, "I'm wearing a bigger bra that holds my breast forms. I'm getting more and more into the role of Val."

"You are, are you?" Amy said and then to Marilyn she said, "could I see you after dinner?"

Marilyn smiled at her and said, "but of course."

To Lauren Amy said, "it looks like you're having a lot of fun with the role. You better hadn't strain your back, carrying that much weight around."

Lauren and the girls around her laughed, and she said, "I won't."
 

 
When the girls had left the dining hall to return to their cabin, Marilyn sidled over to where Amy was finishing her dinner. "What can I do for you boss," Marilyn joked.

"You know very well," Amy said, "why in the world did you assign a part like that to Lauren? I mean we aren't even sure that she's a girl!"

Marilyn feigned dumbness. "Gosh, I didn't think about that. It did seem like a good part for her."

"Then why give her the falsies? And why such big ones? And a bra as well? I mean what were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry. I assumed that we have to consider her a girl until proven otherwise. In that case, she seemed like a good Val, since she's among the most effeminate of the girls that auditioned."

"All right, all right," Amy said, "but keep a close watch on her, will you?"

"Sure," Marilyn said brightly. As she walked back to the cabin she knew that she wouldn't spend any more of her time trying to find out the truth about Lauren. Let Amy do it if she wanted to know the truth so bad!
 
 
Chapter 14
 
Every day that passed, Lauren felt slightly more guilty about not yet having written to Penny. Of course, Lauren had not yet gotten a letter from her either, but that was only because Penny would have been sending her letters to Camp Dan. Lauren imagined that Penny was probably already hurt about not getting a letter since it implied that Lauren wasn't equally missing her. Lauren resolved to do something about it, and she spent an hour one evening writing Penny a long affectionate letter. It was made difficult by the realization that she could not respond to anything specific that Penny might have mentioned in her missing letters. The situation was bound to get weirder and weirder as the summer wore on, but there wasn't much that Lauren could do about it.

Writing to Penny made Lauren miss her terribly and as consolation she took out the blouse Penny had given her and put it on. She had barely worn it since the day Penny had given it to her, and it was a little strange to wear it over her bra. Putting it on hadn't been easy since the blouse was tight to start with and her recently acquired breast forms could barely fit inside. She couldn't help but feel that since she and Penny now both wore bras and had girlish figures when wearing the blouse, they were really just girl friends and no longer boy and girl friends. On the other hand, if that were true, it wouldn't explain why Lauren still longed to resume the intimate relationship they had had in the weeks leading up to the start of camp.

When Lauren was done with the letter, she walked it over to the mailbox at the central office. Even though Marilyn collected the outgoing mail for the girls in her cabin, Lauren was a bit unsure as to the safety of giving Marilyn the opportunity to see that she was mailing a letter to Penny. She would have a lot of explaining to do on the odd chance that one of Penny's letters to Lorin Baxter made it to Camp Shoni.

Marilyn ordinarily did not pay much attention to the goings and comings of the girls in the cabin, but after Lauren had left she had had the feeling that there was something about Lauren that was notable. It wasn't the large chest; she had grown used to that. She thought a while longer and then it suddenly came to her: she had the distinct memory that Lauren was wearing a salmon colored blouse. Sure enough, fifteen minutes later Lauren returned to the cabin and Marilyn stared in amazement at the salmon top with collar and buttons.

"That's a pretty blouse," Marilyn said as Lauren walked by.

Lauren stopped and said, "Thank you. I like it a lot."

"Such a pretty shade of red or pink."

"It's actually salmon colored," Lauren said and then volunteered. "I know it's a bit tight, but a girl friend of mine gave it to me."

"Is that so," Marilyn said. As Lauren returned to her bunk, Marilyn felt giddy with excitement. She felt like she was a great detective and an important clue had fallen into her hands. Maybe not the smoking gun that would prove the case, but a pretty good clue nonetheless. If she was a betting woman, she just might be ready to bet that Lorin was Lauren. Well, not just yet, since there was so much about Lauren that was girlish. Besides, she had grown fond of Lauren; she was one of the sweetest kids in the cabin and there was no real reason to come to a firm conclusion about the mystery just yet.
 

 
The day before the next dance, which was to be at Camp Dan, the girls in Lauren's cabin found time to share their thoughts about the boys they had met the previous week. Many of them had danced with the same boys and they shared similar stories of how they dealt with the few that were unpleasant to be with. Number one was Phil the bore, but there was also a boy named Cliff that those girls who had danced with him called him "Cliff the Crusher" for the way he grabbed them while doing a slow dance. Others boys were just too shy to get a good sense of whether they were nice or not. A few of the girls, like Thalia, seemed to be making a connection with one boy in particular and Lauren wished that she could be in the same position also. Of course, there was Brian, and Lauren spent a lot of time thinking about him. But Joan seemed so certain that Brian could not end up being her boyfriend. That, and Lauren had a hard time believing it could happen herself.

The conversation eventually turned to the subject of how to prevent guys like Cliff the Crusher from taking advantage of the girls and then to the more general subject of what was an acceptable amount of contact with a boy that one did actually like.

"It's a given that any guy you're with is plotting to get to first base," Eileen said.

"Of course if he's cute we hope he'll go there," Janet said.

"What if they're too scared," Thalia said, "they can be afraid to go too far."

"The boys I've known are never like that," Joan said, "I mean I never have to encourage them, well there was one guy who was scared to touch me."

"Do you think "first base" is kissing or holding hands?" Lauren said.

"Kissing," Ann and Susan said simultaneously. Ann continued, "but it could be holding hands if the boy is real scared.

"Some boys will hold your hand but then take forever to kiss you," Susan said. "Sometimes I've had to drop a million hints."

"You can end up thinking they don't want to kiss you," Judy added.

"What's a hint look like?" Lauren said. Her desire to learn about how to be with a boy was so strong that she didn't let her normal desire to be cool prevent her from asking questions that revealed her innocence.

"You know, you give him these dreamy eyes with a coy smile, or your hand touches his arm, or you sit in closer to him. Something like that," Judy said.

Lauren thought back to Lorin's first date with Penny. He had never even held her hand, he had been so nervous. But it had all changed at the party. "Dancing gives boys a chance to hold girls, without having to take a chance," Lauren said.

"Exactly," Joan said, "it's a great icebreaker. But it's not first base unless they kiss you."

"Brian kissed me when we were dancing," Lauren said.

"Now that he's already gotten to first, if you dance with him again tomorrow, he's going to want to go past first to second," Eileen said.

Lauren thought about it a second and said, "you mean feel me up?"

"Definitely," Joan said, "and if he gets there then it won't be long until he's headed to third base. Whatever you do, don't let him get a homerun!" The girls laughed.

"I've never ..." Lauren started to say and then stopped. She was going to say she had never been felt up, but the truth was that Lorin had felt up Penny to some extent so that Lauren did sort of know what it was like. Lauren tried to imagine what it felt like for Penny while Lorin had put his hand in her bra. The memory made her long to be back with Penny again, but no sooner had she thought of that, then she thought that she would sort of like being felt up by a boy. It would sort of prove that he found her attractive.

"What's the furthest base any of you girls have gone to?" Ann said.

"Since you started that, you answer first!" Joan said.

"I'll answer if everyone else promises to answer!"

"Sure, is everybody in?" Ann said looking around. No one seemed to want to opt out of the game.

"This is too much fun," Thalia said.

"Well let me see," Ann started thing off. "It was second base, with Tom. He and I were going together in the Fall and we used to kiss a lot, he's a dreamy kisser, and one time in the movie theater we were in the last row, some dumb vampire movie or something. I don't even remember what was going on, I don't think I even saw a minute of it. Tom had his arm around me and was kissing me and then for the first time I felt his hand on my breast. He fumbled around on the outside of my blouse and then he worked his way inside and put his hand over my bra. He didn't really know what to do and after a while he stopped and then just before the movie ended he started up again."

"Did you touch him?" Susan asked.

"No, I didn't want to encourage him to go any further. You know there is no second base for boys as far as girls are concerned."

"Yeah, it's straight to third base, if you know what I mean," Susan said.

"Go next Susan!" Ann said.

"I let my boy friend, John, get to third base, one time, well not totally. We were at the beach lying down behind a sand dune and he had been kissing me. We were lying side by side and he put his hand inside my bikini top and then after awhile I felt his hand going down my stomach heading toward my bottom. I was so spaced out it took a few moments until I realized what he was doing and stopped him. From the looks of his bathing suit, he was pretty excited."

Lauren listened raptly to the stories and it took her a few seconds to realize that Susan was saying that her boy friend had a boner. The other girls seemed to understand completely what Susan was saying. Lauren thought that it was pretty amazing that the girls talked about sex almost as explicitly as the boys in Camp Dan did. Lorin had never liked hearing about girls being judged solely by their anatomy or availability to guys. Every girl, it had seemed to Lorin, deserved to be treated with respect regardless of the way she looked, or how promiscuous she was.

"Yeah, I guess so. It was freaky and I didn't want to know anything more about it!" Susan said.

"For me, I've never let any guy get past second base," Janet said, "though one time my boy friend wanted me to go to his third base. I had a total crush on him, his name was Barry. He's two grades ahead of me and went on to high school. Anyway, this one time we were making out and he started feeling me up which I guess I liked, though I had to tell him more than once to not pinch me too hard. Anyway, after awhile he started getting all fidgety and whispered to me that we ought to go further. I didn't give him an answer and finally, he said he had to go and I could tell he was in a lot of pain. He was sort of hunched over."

"Blue balls?" Joan said.

"That's what he said, and also his thing had gotten bent inside his jeans. He was trying to rearrange it by pushing it down or something but it wouldn't cooperate."

Janet acted out how her boy friend had been hopping around trying to straighten himself out causing the girls to laugh uproariously.

Between her own laughs, Janet continued saying "he kept indicating that I should some how help him with his problem. You know like stick my hand down there? I acted like I didn't know what he was talking about, though I really did know."

For her part, Lauren pretended she thought the incident funny, though she knew only too well herself that it was not really a laughing matter for boys. She imagined finding herself in a similar situation as Janet, and she wondered how would she feel if a boy wanted her to put her hand "down there"?

"Have any of you ever seen a guy's thing?" Judy asked.

"I've seen my little brother's weenie," said Ann.

"So have I," Eileen said.

"I saw my older brother's thing one day. My mom yelled at him to wrap a towel around himself when he left the shower."

"What does it look like?" Thalia said, "I've never even seen a picture of one, except for Michelangelo's David."

"It's sort of pinkish and dangly, like a weird hot dog or something. It's hard to describe."

Apparently Marilyn had been listening in on the conversation and she came over and said, "what is hard to describe?"

"Boy's things," Lauren said, wanting to be helpful. She also couldn't help but appreciate the irony that this was the one aspect of the discussion thus far that she knew more about than any of the other girls, including Marilyn.

"Boy's things? What do you mean by that?"

"You know their weenies," Eileen said laughing.

"Have you ever seen one?" Thalia asked.

Marilyn laughed and said, "what kind of discussion is this for my bunnies? Anyway when you get older, like to my age, it's not really something that needs to be discussed. They're there, that's all one needs to know about them."

"We were discussing about how far to allow boys to go. It seems like the boys of Camp Dan all want to either get to second or third base or have us touch them or something."

"Boys are always half crazed about sex. It's even worse here since they're trying to live out a summer romance one day per week. There is a camp rule about having physical contact with the boys, though I'm pretty sure no one cares if you kiss them. But they aren't allowed to feel you up as they say and you certainly should not touch their things at all!"
 

 
Later, after the group broke up getting ready for bed, Lauren, Thalia and Joan sat together on Joan's bed. Thalia said, "Owen kissed me goodnight and he said he couldn't wait to see me again. I think tomorrow we're going to pick up where we left off."

"I'm happy for you," Lauren said, despite the fact that she would much rather that Owen and Thalia not get together.

"You look like a nice couple," Joan said.

"Thanks," Thalia said, "I wonder where it's going to go. I've never really had a true boy friend before. It seems like it would be hard to just kiss all summer long, if it turns out we really like each other."

"I'm pretty sure there is a lot of stuff that goes on outside the dance, in the dark. I've heard about couples doing a lot more than making out," Joan said. "Some of these guys are pretty unstoppable once they get started!"

"But the girls can stop them, can't they, I mean if they want to? They wouldn't want to risk getting thrown out of camp, would they?" Lauren said.

"It's a lot easier said than done. Of course you could stop them anytime by screaming or getting mad at them or something like that. The real question is stopping them when you don't really want them to stop. It can be very thrilling when a boy gets really hot, particularly because it's sort of flattering that they want you so much, and girls tend to want to be kind to needy people. And boy are they needy!" Joan laughed saying this.

"I'd sort of like if Owen wanted to do more, but I'm not so sure that I'll be able to do more," Thalia said. "We didn't discuss it before, but do you think that any of the girls actually have touched one of them?"

"I wonder too," Lauren said.

After a minute, Joan said, "do you both swear not to tell anybody else what I'm going to say?"

"I swear it," Thalia said.

"And me too," Lauren said.

"I actually touched one once though I didn't actually see it," Joan said. "My boy friend was kissing me and my hand fell on his lap and the next thing I knew he was begging me to touch him. I guess I was just curious and I did. Well outside his pants, initially. He got so excited, it was kind of unbelievable. After awhile he slowly undid his belt and then pulled down his zipper. I was sort of hypnotized. I knew I should stop, but then I was thinking that I wasn't really doing anything that could cause me to get VD or anything. So I kept my hand there and while we kissed I let him move his thing over it. I couldn't believe how strange it felt, even through his underwear. It sticks up so much and sort of throbs or something as you touch it. Then I felt him tugging at his underwear to lower them and I knew that it had gone far enough. My hand did sweep against it before I pulled away from him and said that I didn't think it was a good idea to continue. I felt so sorry for him."

Lauren and Thalia looked at each other and then at Joan. Thalia said, "my mom gave me the whole talk about sex, but I guess it's a lot different when you actually are with a boy, than just thinking about it."

"Sure," Joan said, "I knew a lot about it but the one thing that really surprised me was how sort of desperate my boy friend was."

"We could really have a hard time here, with the boys," Thalia said and then laughed at the unintended pun, "I mean every dance is the one time in the whole week that they'll be thinking about actually getting something off of us."

"Owen seems so nice," Lauren said, "I can't imagine he'll be difficult for you."

"I hope so," Thalia said.

"In the case of someone like Brian," Joan said, "it's a completely different story. He was already making out with Lauren on the first dance!"

Lauren felt upset. "He had cast a spell over me. I don't know what it was, but I felt all the strength drain out of my arms when he held me. It was like I had become whatever he wanted me to be. I know that I've got to stop that. If I dance with him again tomorrow, I'm only going to kiss him if I really want to."

Joan laughed and Lauren continued, "yeah, I know he won't even remember me, but maybe he will."

"We better get to sleep," Thalia said, "tomorrow is a big day!"

"And Lauren has to get up earlier than anyone!" Joan said.

"True," Lauren said, "and I'm glad every day is a big day. That's the sort of days we should have."
 

 
It was more than a little strange for Lauren as she disembarked the bus that took the girls to Camp Dan for the dance on Saturday night. She had a million memories of her past summers there and they flooded back into her mind as she saw the dining hall, the club house and some of the cabins that she had slept in in her former life as a boy.

"What's the matter," Thalia said to Lauren, "you look tense and kind of sad."

Snapping out of her reverie Lauren said, "oh nothing. I'm just thinking about if Brian will remember me."

"Don't count on it," Joan said.

"I know, I know," Lauren said, "but still."

"Even if he does, he's too old for you. You'll be fighting him off all night.

"I suppose you're right about that much," Lauren admitted, "but still."

In the exact reverse of what happened the previous week, the boys were waiting for the girls in their rec building doubling as a dance hall when the girls arrived. Lauren, Thalia and Joan walked in together. As much as Lauren wanted to wear her new found breasts to the dance, it would be way too obvious to at least some of the boys that she had put in falsies since the past week. The potential for embarrassment was too great and she instead wore the same padded bra she had worn the past week. The boys would have to like her for who she was, not for having big tits.

They weren't halfway into the hall, walking toward some tables that had been set up, when Lauren saw Owen making a beeline for them. There was no doubt that he had not forgotten Thalia. For her part, Thalia quickened her step a bit and met up with Owen ahead of the others. Lauren lagged back a bit behind Joan, but there was no way that Owen wouldn't get to see Lauren up close and personal.

When Lauren and Joan reached Thalia and Owen, Thalia said "Owen, I want you to meet my best two friends at camp, Joan and Lauren!"

Owen graciously greeted them saying that any friends of Thalia's were friends of his. "How delightfully corny," Thalia said laughing. Lauren smiled wryly and Joan told Owen how happy she was to meet him. Owen turned to directly face Lauren and when she looked into his face she saw that he was puzzled. "Lauren is it?" Owen said.

Lauren said, "yes," blushed and looked down.

"It's funny, but there is something terribly familiar about you. I could swear I've seen you somewhere before."

"Really?" Lauren said, "I can't imagine where."

"It's so sort of strange," Owen said.

"A lot of girls sort of look like me," Lauren said.

"It's also funny that you have the name Lauren, since I had a good friend at camp here, for like five years, who has the same name, Lorin, but spelled different I guess. I thought he was coming this year, but he never showed up."

"That sometimes happens," Joan said, "I remember being surprised who didn't show up some years."

"I suppose," Owen said. He stared hard at Lauren who looked away and then across the room at the boys to see if she could spot Brian.

To her relief, Thalia took Owen's hand and the two of them walked off talking a mile a minute. There was clearly recognition in Owen's eyes. He hadn't yet put two and two together but Lauren felt sure that he would eventually. The big problem was going to see what he did about it. Owen being Owen he might not really condemn Lauren for pretending to be a girl and infiltrating Camp Shoni. On the other hand, it was not the kind of subject they had ever discussed together and it could be that he'd freak out and tell everyone. Well, more realistically he might tell Thalia and then what?

The music had been running continuously since they had entered the room and now many of the boys and girls were dancing. Lauren finally saw Brian and near him was Fred. "Look Joan," Lauren said, "there's Brian and Fred." Suddenly Lauren felt both excited and flustered. She had had fantasies of Brian even waiting at the bus for her, and now it was clear that he wasn't exactly making an effort to find her. He seemed to be talking to some other boys and at least had not yet asked any girls to dance. Maybe he was just a bit shyer than she thought he might be.

For her part Joan didn't seem to be interested in Fred or Brian. "It's not good to even look their way," she said. "If they want us they'll come over. They know where we are."

"But how do you know that?" Lauren said. "Maybe I should at least sort of walk by near him. The punch bowl is in that direction. I could get some punch."

Joan laughed. "Sometimes you can be real hard headed Lauren. I just don't want to see you get any more hurt than you already are or will be."

Lauren was not paying full attention to Joan and she said, "he seems to be looking my way. I'm sure Brian just saw me. He'll probably come on over. How do I look?"

Joan looked across the room and said, "yeah, he's now asking a girl over there, one of the older girls, to dance. Let's face it we're just too young for him."

Lauren turned and looked at the couples dancing and sure enough Brian was dancing with a girl who was definitely older and more sophisticated than she was. "You're right Joan. I should have listened to you!"

"No big deal. We all have to learn these things the hard way. Anyway, there are still a bunch of guys we haven't yet danced with, so maybe one of them will turn out to be nice."

"I hope so," Lauren said. She was already worrying about what would happen if she didn't have someone nice to go to the cotillion with. She'd end up having to go with one of the real jerky boys and she'd be absolutely miserable. She laughed to herself thinking that the way things are going right now with Marcie, it would be better to go to the cotillion as Marcie's girl friend rather than with one of the weirdo boys.

She thought about what it would be like to be with Marcie at the cotillion and decided it could actually be pretty nice. She was already dancing with Marcie at the rehearsals and Marcie always had the boys' part. It wouldn't be that much different to be at the cotillion with her, though she doubted that Marcie would come wearing a nice boy's suit with a tie and everything. They'd both have dresses, but surely her own dress would be much more feminine than Marcie's. Too bad she wouldn't be able to wear her big boobs that night.

Lauren's reverie was broken by the boy Paul asking her to dance whom she had danced with the week before. Lauren forced herself to smile and accepted the dance. If anything, she would not be a snob but she couldn't help thinking that this was what life at the bottom would be like at the cotillion if her luck didn't change.
 

 
During a slow dance in which Thalia rested her head against Owen's shoulder she asked him what he was thinking about.

"I can't shake the feeling I know your friend Lauren, I mean I think she has more than a little resemblance to my friend Lorin."

"Maybe they're cousins or something," Thalia said.

"Where is Lauren from?"

Thalia mentioned the town and Owen exclaimed, "That's where my friend Lorin is from too! His name is Baxter, Lorin Baxter."

"Ohmygod!" Thalia said suddenly feeling faint.

"What is it?" Owen said.

"Lauren is Lauren Baxter also!"

"You're shitting me! Pardon my French!"

"Not at all, but I'm sure it's just an incredible coincidence. Lauren is such a sweetheart, as much of a girl as I am. It's beyond ridiculous to even question that."

"Oh, I'm sure you're right," Owen said. "My friend Lorin was no sissy or even close to that. He was a regular guy. But I'd bet there is some sort of family connection there."

"Probably," Thalia said.
 

 
After Paul, Lauren danced with several other boys who were either obnoxious or too short or immature. She had turned down Phil when he wanted to dance with her and at one point Marcie came over to see how she was. Joan was seeming to have made a connection with a couple of different boys. It was clear to Lauren that she would be largely on her own that night.

Most painful for Lauren was watching Brian surrounded by a group of older girls, every one of which was much more developed than she was. What had she been thinking to not believe what Joan had told her? Still, it would be so dreamy to have at least a dance or two with Brian.

Finally, she got up and walked toward the general area where Brian was and then decided she would walk right past him. Beyond him was a hallway, leading to the rest rooms, so it was perfect. She had an excuse to go that way. She walked slowly and non-chalantly making sure to keep one eye focused on Brian. When she was almost upon him, she looked up right at him and he turned to look at her. He smiled broadly and in a sudden fit of nerves, Lauren looked away and kept walking. "Hey, if isn't my girlfriend Lauren," Brian called after her and Lauren stopped and turned around and looked at him.

"Oh, hi Brian she said."

Next to Brian were a couple of the older girls he had been talking to. They looked at Lauren and nodded their heads as if to say hello.

"Having fun?" Brian asked.

"Oh sure," Lauren said lying.

"We should dance," Brian said and Lauren felt a smile returning to her face.

A fast dance had just ended and there was a lull as everyone was waiting to see what the next song would be.

A slow song started and Lauren said to the girls Brian had been with, "can you spare him?"

"Oh wow, go ahead and dance with her Brian," one of the girls said, "she's got a thing for you."

Lauren blushed, but didn't deny it.

"Sure, I'd love to dance with you," Brian said and he stood up and took Lauren's hand and led her onto the dance floor. Lauren was trembling. Maybe this was going to turn out the way she had fantasized.

Brian held her just like he had the last time and Lauren felt a rising excitement like he was going to kiss her. It was a strange feeling, completely opposite to how Lorin had felt with Penny when it was his job to initiate the kisses. Just like Lauren had felt the previous week, it was hard for her to not just melt in the face of Brian's strength and good looks. She felt woozy and helplessly feminine compared to Brian's masculinity. It was that contrast that made Lauren feel more completely girlish than in any other situation. She felt a slight tingling in her breasts and in her nipples inside her bra and a warmth inside her panties between her legs. An image came to her mind of how Brian's strong masculine presence filled a void inside her body.

"I like girls like you," Brian said and Lauren felt her heart sing with pleasure.

"What kind are they?" Lauren said.

"Warm, delicate, feminine. Like a little fragile bird."

Lauren laughed, "Is that me?"

"In spades," Brian said. "You're a soft little creature."

Lauren loved thinking of the imagery Brian had painted about her. She was a delicate little bird. She loved thinking of herself like that. It was why she had become Lauren after all. She felt something pushing into her belly and in a flash of recognition decided that it must be that she had gotten him excited. The thought both filled her with desire, but also fear and fascination. What would it be like to confront his manhood directly? The thrill of having this affect on Brian coursed through her body and she felt an overwhelming desire to be drawn in even tighter to him.

"Kiss me," she whispered to him, thinking how much she had loved the kisses last week.

Brian pulled back a bit from her. "Kiss you?"

He seemed genuinely surprised by what she had said. Lauren stammered, "it's just ... you remember last week? ... "

"Lauren. You're a wonderful girl, and I did love kissing you last week, but I thought that night we were both sort of goofing off. I'm too old for you. Way too old. I'm in high school, you're in junior high. It can't work out. I thought you knew that too." Brian looked genuinely concerned and Lauren did her best to hold back tears, though her eyes grew moist and a few isolated tears fell down her cheek. She looked down and saw that it was Brian's belt buckle that had been pressing against her tummy. She had created a fantasy in place of the reality that she did not want to accept as truth.

The dance ended and Brian let go of her and said, "are you OK Lauren? I never meant to hurt you in any way. If circumstances were different - even a few years from now when we're both in college - but now it's not a good idea."

The more Brian talked the more Lauren felt like crying so she shook her head as vigorously as she could and said she had better freshen up in the girls room and she took leave of him.
 

 
In the restroom Lauren ran into Joan as well as Janet and Eileen from the bunny cabin. "I saw you dancing with Brian," Joan said, "it looked like he's crazy about you."

"Brian's like the coolest guy in camp Dan," Janet said.

Lauren shook her head, "it was my last dance with him. He said I'm too young for him."

"Ouch, Lauren, I'm so sorry," Joan said.

"You were right all along. I was just being a baby. Actually, he was very nice. He never meant to hurt me. He just thought that we were just fooling around last week."

Joan and Janet came and held Lauren. "We all get crushes on guys, and even on guys that are unattainable. You have to just concentrate on the nice time you did have with him and forget about everything else," Joan said.

"Yeah," Janet said, "I bet the age thing is the real story. It shows he has a conscience. A lot of guys would just take advantage of your innocence."

Eileen said, "the next thing you know, he'd take you outside in the woods and you'd feel like you have to do something gross with him." The image came to Lauren's mind of a large, male organ with blue veins running through it, a shock of dark black pubic hair and heavy balls dangling below. It was the memory he had of his own dad's penis that he had seen one day when his father had taken a shower with him. It was probably true that boys of Brian's age had genitals like that, and from what he'd seen of the older boys at Camp Dan the many years he had gone there, he could easily imagine them in the woods cajoling some poor girl into doing something that she would regret later on.

"You think they'd make girls touch their things?" Lauren said.

"Without a doubt," Janet said, "and if you do, then every boy in camp will know about it by tomorrow. If you don't, then every boy will hear that you're a prude. Either way you lose. It's just best not to hang out with the older guys."

Lauren smiled at Eileen and the others and thanked them. "You're great friends. I appreciate what you're saying."

"There still is a bunch of guys you haven't met yet," Joan said, so I'm confident we'll all meet someone that we'll be happy to go to the cotillion with."

"I sure hope so," Lauren said and went into a stall to pee. The other girls who had been checking their makeup in the mirror left to resume dancing. While she was sitting in the stall waiting for the pee to come, Lauren tried to come to an understanding of what she thought about what the girls had been saying. Part of her was certainly offended by the boys being so vulgar, yet on the other hand she wondered if it wasn't a very natural thing for girls to want to touch boys' organs. For her own self, she both was attracted and repelled at the idea. Lorin was repulsed but Lauren was attracted, at least at some level. What she would do if the situation arose was probably something she could not predict ahead of time. She would have to watch and wait and see how it played out.
 

 
When she finally left the bathroom, Lauren surveyed the dance trying to see if there was any cause for hope that a nice boy might ask her to dance. There were definitely a few good looking boys who must be much closer to her in age than Brian yet whom she had not yet danced with, and most importantly did not look to be tied to any one girl. She had her eye on one boy in particular, who reminded her a bit of John Travolta, when a thin boy, a bit taller than herself, with glasses and curly hair asked her to dance. She vaguely remembered seeing him the week before but had not found him to be particularly noteworthy. He asked her haltingly as if teetering on forgetting a memorized speech and when Lauren accepted he seemed remarkably relieved.

It was a slow dance and she found that they were a good height for each other; he was about an inch or two taller. Clearly fighting his nerves, the boy asked Lauren her name and she told him and she then asked him his own. "Peter," he said in a clipped voice. Lauren sensed that he was going to say something more but didn't. They danced around and around in a slow circle until Peter finally said, "I think it's time to go around the other way, I mean we might wear out a hole in the floor right here."

Lauren laughed and said, "you'll have to lead me."

"OK, no problem," Peter said and they started going the other way. "What do you like about camp?" Peter said woodenly.

"I like the dances. We're also putting on a production of "A Chorus Line" in which I get to dance."

"Cool," Peter said, "we're putting on "Oliver"."

"You've got to be kidding. We were going to do that too, but the camp director didn't think it was a good play for girls. Not enough girl parts. That would be weird if both camps put it on."

"Even better, if they put it on together than they could have boys in boy parts and girls in girls parts," Peter said.

"But what about the girls who now have boy parts?"

"And the boys who have girls part?" Peter said. "There could be a second production for them."

"Weird," Lauren laughed. It seemed that Peter had a sense of humor. He was definitely somewhat off beat and interesting. "Do you have a part?" Lauren asked.

"No," Peter said, "but I wanted the part of Nancy, so I could sing 'As Long as He Needs Me,' but I didn't get it."

"Too bad," Lauren said and then, "Seriously?"

"Sure," Peter said.

Lauren laughed again, "I know your joking. Boys never would want to be girls!"

"That's a loaded question. If I say that I did, then my masculinity would be suspect. If I said I didn't I'd be acting like there was something wrong with being a girl. Either way I lose."

Lauren spontaneously moved in closer to Peter and hugged him. "You're hysterical."

"You're ..." Peter started to say and stopped.

"You're what?" Lauren whispered.

"I was going to say that you were very nice, but I've only known you for a few minutes, so maybe I should say that you seem nice. But that's not a flattering thing to say to a girl, that she seems nice. I mean you might say that about a cake, before you tasted it..."

"So you ought to just gamble, and say I'm nice," Lauren said.

"OK. You're nice," Peter said.

They were silent for a few minutes and Peter said, "I hope you don't think I'm being manic."

"Yes, that's exactly what I've been thinking," Lauren said.

After another pause in which Peter seemed to not know if Lauren had been joking or not, she said, "you can laugh now Peter," and Peter laughed.

When the slow dance was over, Peter said, "let's get some punch," and Lauren said, "good idea."

When they got to the refreshment table, Lauren saw to her alarm that Thalia and Owen were also there. "Hey Peter," Owen said, "it looks like you met Lauren."

"You know each other?" Peter asked.

"Thalia introduced me to Lauren before, they're both bunnies," Owen said.

"Bunnies?" Peter asked.

"The girls at Camp Shoni are either wolves or bunnies and Thalia and Lauren are both bunnies."

"What's the difference?" Peter asked Lauren.

"Bunnies are little furry animals that hop around and eat carrots and lettuce," Lauren said, "and wolves..,"

Peter cut her off, "I know, wolves are big furry animals that eat bunnies."

"You got it," Thalia said.

"So you can say you're Peter and the Bunny!" Owen laughed.

"And had Lauren been a wolf..." Peter said smiling.

"Exactly," Owen said.

"The important thing is that Lauren and I are both bunnies so we're in the same cabin."

"And Peter and I are in the same cabin," Owen said, "but we're not bunnies."

"Speak for yourself," Peter said, "I'd rather like to be a bunny."

Everyone laughed and when they were done, Thalia said to Lauren, "Owen was telling me about the most remarkable coincidence. He says that there was a boy with your name at camp with him the last 5 years. Lorin Baxter! And he lives in your town!"

"There's even some resemblance to you," Owen added.

This was the moment Lauren had dreaded since she had seen Thalia with Owen the week before. Despite thinking and thinking as to what she should say at this moment, she had not come up with an idea that wouldn't sound contrived. The best she could do was to try to derail the suspicion by alluding to the connection being a deep dark family secret. "I know about him, though I've never actually met him," Lauren said lamely. "It's actually a family thing that my mom and dad never talk about."

"Wow, sounds eerie," Owen said. "So it's just coincidence that you knew about Camp Shoni?"

"I guess so," Lauren said. "I think a lot of people know about these camps. They're pretty well known."

The music had started up again with the sound of "YMCA" and Peter said, "Lauren and I have got to dance to this!" and he took Lauren's hand and led her back to the dance floor.

It took a few minutes for Lauren to stop rehashing in her mind the conversation she had just had with Owen. It did seem like he had believed her story, but he could just be trying to be polite. She would find out eventually what his true thoughts were, she was sure of that.

Lauren and Peter had a fun time dancing and then to Lauren's growing feeling of happiness, it seemed that she and Peter had morphed into a state where it was taken for granted that they would continue dancing with each other. After a few more fast dances there was finally a slow dance again and Lauren fell comfortably and happily into Peter's arms. Unlike Brian of the week before, Peter showed no predilection to make out with her as they danced. Part of Lauren was happy for that, but on the other hand, the summer was short and it would be nice to see if she might develop enough intimacy, both physical and mental in their relationship that she could call it love. Then the cotillion would be the most perfect night of her life.

Several slow dances played in a row and it was clear that it was getting toward the end of the evening. Peter said to her, "I hope I'll see you next week."

"Somehow I have the feeling that you will," Lauren said.

Peter held her a bit tighter and she moved up her hand to gently touch his neck. She could feel the strength in his arms as he held her. Though he wasn't as far into puberty as Owen was, he had begun to mature and it was showing up in the beginnings of a manly frame. Lauren said a silent prayer to God thanking him for the fact that she had yet to appreciably enter male puberty - so that she could have this wonderful summer. When she got home she would have a major crossroads to contend with, and she would, but for now, her impending adolescence was a vague annoyance sitting in the distant future.
 
 
Chapter 15
 
After a few rehearsals of "A Chorus Line" the girls started getting more and more comfortable with their parts and the production began to resemble a real play. The girls lined up more or less correctly for the dance numbers even if they sometimes forgot their steps or ran into each other. The girls with speaking roles like Eileen and Jeanette acted with increasing self-confidence and at times it was hard to remember whether what transpired in the rehearsals was just a rehearsal or an accurate presentation of the rehearsal-in-the-play that they were supposed to be acting out.

Marcie and Lauren were particularly adept with their steps and at one of the rehearsals Marilyn told them they could take a time out while she worked with some of the other girls. Marcie took Lauren's hand and said, "I want to show you something, come with me," and she led Lauren toward the back of the barn out of sight of the others past large bins containing scenery and miscellaneous storage cabinets. Marcie pointed to a small alcove off the main room that was behind a rack of costumes.

"This is one of my secret places," Marcie said and she led Lauren into the small room.

"Cool," Lauren said, "what do you do here?"

Marcie took Lauren's other hand and stood facing her. "You're a wonderful dance partner," Marcie said and pulled Lauren into her and hugged her.

"How sweet of you," Lauren said and then she felt Marcie hold her more firmly in such a way that their chests were pushed against each other. She couldn't avoid the sense that Marcie was purposefully trying to push her own breasts into her own. It was an electric moment for Lauren, being held in the strong arms of the slightly taller girl dressed as she was in a boy's outfit.

"You've got great tits," Marcie said and Lauren blushed slightly.

"I am big aren't I," Lauren said. "It runs in my family."

Marcie laughed and put her hand on one of them and felt it and then lifted it up. It suddenly occurred to Lauren that Marcie was not exactly playing any more.

"Somebody might see," Lauren said, worried that Marilyn or one of the girls might not take what Marcie was doing as a joke.

"It's a secret alcove," Marcie said. "No one can see us here," and this time she put both her hands on Lauren's fake breasts and felt them. "They feel cool. Just like the real thing."

Lauren didn't know what to do. She didn't want to hurt Marcie's feelings by telling her to stop, but she wasn't sure if it was right to allow her to feel her up. She guessed there were camp rules against this kind of thing, besides the fact that her other girl friends, like Joan and Thalia might find it weird or gross. They might think that Lauren liked both girls and guys.

"Marcie, is this right?" Lauren asked and gently tried to pull away.

"Right?" Marcie said and added, "it's no big deal. It's fun and you can feel mine if you want."

"What?" Lauren said, surprised. This was definitely going in a direction she would never have anticipated. "We're girls Marcie. We shouldn't touch each other. Only boys should." Lauren felt weird saying that since she knew that she would love to touch Marcie's breasts.

"There aren't any boys around here. Anyway, I'm a boy in the show and if I'm going to get seriously into the part, I need to spend time doing boy things. Feeling up girls is probably the number one thing any boy wants to do."

Lauren had to admit to herself that there was a modicum of logic to what Marcie was saying. "But how would my touching you be practicing for the show?" Lauren said.

"You're right," Marcie said, "I'll do all the touching. You just be the girl."

With that, she gently pushed down on Lauren's shoulder directing her to lie down on the floor. Lauren lay down and Marcie sat down next to her and leaned against her. Then she gently straddled Lauren and leaned forward pinning Lauren's hands over her head and against the floor. Lauren felt a bit helpless against the grip of the much stronger girl. Lauren tested her ability to move her arms and found that she couldn't.

"There's no need to struggle," Marcie said.

"I'm not struggling," Lauren said. "I trust you Marcie."

"Good. From now on you're my girl. You can pucker up baby, cause I'm going to give you a kiss you'll never forget!"

Lauren laughed with the realization that as scary as the scene might look on the surface, it was just Marcie play acting her part as a boy. Marcie's breasts were dangling close over Lauren's face and then Marcie leaned forward so that Lauren's face was buried between them. Marcie shook her chest back and forth a little and Lauren felt the hot warmth of Marcie's bra against her cheek and nose. There was a slight fragrance to her breasts as well.

"Do you wear perfume?" Lauren asked, a bit surprised.

"A little," Marcie said.

"It's pretty," Lauren said.

Marcie then suddenly planted her lips over Lauren's and gave her a passionate kiss. At first, Lauren was so surprised by the intensity that she was more frozen in place than not. Gradually Marcie's tongue pried open Lauren's mouth and entered and Lauren found herself sucking on Marcie's tongue. It was a long kiss and after a few moments she found herself getting light headed and terribly confused. It was as good a kiss as Brian had given her at the first dance and had as much energy. Lorin's kisses with Penny had not been anywhere as daring and full of sensuality. Lorin certainly knew next to nothing about how to kiss. Finally Marcie withdrew her tongue and pulled back her head to take a good look at Lauren's reaction to what had just happened.

"Oh my God, Marcie!" Lauren said, "I've never kissed a girl before." She felt it important to say this to Marcie. She then added, "I've never kissed anyone like that before!"

Marcie let go of Lauren's hands and resumed feeling up her breasts. Lauren was still reeling from the kiss. She felt that there was some important meaning to it though she did not quite know what it was just yet. But the inescapable truth thus far was that she felt happier and more fulfilled from that kiss than the one she had with Brian and even the kisses she had had with Penny. She would have to spend some time thinking about what she had felt.

"You've got a sweet little mouth Lauren," Marcie said. "Let me see the bra Marilyn gave you," With that she lifted up the neckline of Lauren's dance outfit and looked down at the large well filled out white bra. "A pretty white bra for you and big knockers," she reported.

For some reason Lauren found it funny and laughed. She hoped this was still just play acting, a harmless if also terribly exciting game. Suddenly, she was worried that Marcie might not approve of her seeing Peter and she said, "you know I like boys, don't you?"

"So do I," Marcie said, "but I also like girls, especially girls like you. Delicate and girlish, practically useless for anything other than lying around looking pretty. Girls who think that getting new bras is actually exciting; so wonderful a thing, in fact, that they can't wait to go home and try them on. Girls who would never be caught dead without a slip and pantyhose on. That turns me on for some reason, though a boy who is kind and gentle and not worried about proving himself. That can turn me on too."

"How did you ever figure out exactly what you like?" Lauren said. "I'm so totally confused about what I want. The first dance I met that boy Brian and he kissed me and I thought it was so thrilling and then you just kissed me and it, gosh, I don't know Marcie. It was an incredible kiss."

"I've been thinking about what it would be like to kiss you, so I finally acted on it. I'm glad I did."

"I hope you kiss me again. I think I would like that. But also, I, I met this boy Peter at the last dance and I think he and I are really hitting it off. He hasn't been like some of the other boys and we haven't kissed yet. I mean I do hope he'll want to kiss me too."

"It's OK Lauren," Marcie said. "I'm not jealous. Sometimes I just want to grab you and kiss you, but it doesn't have to mean anything more than that."

It seemed bizarre and too mechanical from Lauren's point of view and she said, "I think no matter what it will always mean something to me."

"I'm sure it will Lauren, because that's the kind of girl you are."

"I think Marilyn wants us back now," Lauren said.

Marcie took one last squeeze of Lauren's breasts and got up. "OK, my little bunny, we'll continue some other time." She helped Lauren up and then surprised her by giving her one more long deep tongue kiss until Lauren could barely breathe. After she withdrew her tongue from Lauren's mouth she said, "seeing stars? God, there is something so huggable about you. You're like a little pet."

Lauren smiled at her. That was exactly the kind of thing she wanted to hear. As the two girls walked back to join the others Lauren thought about what had transpired with Marcie, and tried to identify what her own feelings were. Would she rather be Peter's girl friend or Marcie's girl friend? It occurred to her that maybe the best way to figure out which of them she preferred was to answer the question as to what would happen if they should find out that Lauren was really Lorin. With Peter his heart would be broken, and after he realized that she had deceived him, he might get violently angry - it seemed possible. In the case of Marcie, on the other hand, she would surely find it amusing and maybe even be glad that Lauren was the kind of boy he was - gentle and kind and not needing to prove himself. Just trying to prove that he was a girl.

Perhaps most amazing to Lauren was that both Peter and Marcie made her feel like a girl, and feeling like a girl was what she most wanted for herself. For the moment she wouldn't do anything to rock the boat. She would have Marcie during the week and at the dances she would be Peter's girl friend. Eventually she would figure out what direction she most wanted to go. Of course, there was also Lorin wanting to be Penny's boy friend. Lauren's brain hurt from all the complexities lying in front of her.
 

 
One thing with Peter needed immediate fixing and that was the fact that he had yet to even kiss her. The summer was moving along quickly and Lauren wanted Peter to act more aggressively toward her. She had to find out how he kissed compared to Marcie, and Brian too for that matter. Yet, he hadn't even given her a goodbye kiss at the end of the last dance, even though they had spent so much time together. She worried that he might never kiss her and then what? She wanted to extract from the summer every possible memory that she could and a large part of that was having a boy who would ask her to the cotillion and then treat her like a princess all night long.

She had a wonderful fantasy that she thought of again and again about being so beautifully made up in her special dress and then stepping into the ballroom at the cotillion and having everyone gasp at her beauty and no one more excited than her date. He would be swooning with happiness at seeing her and he'd look so handsome in his suit and then they'd dance and dance. Before the night ended they would be intimate in some way that she could only feel but not see the details. One thing for sure was that it would involve some kissing, a lot of passionate kissing.

The day before the dance, on Saturday, Lauren decided to ask Joan for advice on how to get Peter to speed things up. While she knew that the easy answer was that she could just take the initiative, this didn't seem right to her. The thought of her initiating a French kiss or taking Peter's hand and making him feel her up just didn't fit in with her feelings about her proper role in the relationship, especially after she had been so embarrassed by having asked Brian to kiss her and then getting rebuffed. She would never make that mistake again.

"What should I do Joan? I have the feeling that Peter is taking so long to pass first base that the summer will be over before he even gets there!"

"I think you have to give Peter some green lights," Joan said after thinking about the problem.

"What do you mean by green lights?" Lauren asked.

"You know. If a girl smiles at a boy he takes that as a sign that if he comes over to talk he won't be wasting his time."

"I smile plenty at Peter," Lauren said.

"There are lots of other green lights you could give him. Pucker your lips a little, squeeze his arm a bit, or hold him firmly on his back or neck."

"I think I've sort of tried those things. He's really really scared."

"Well then you have to do something less ambiguous. You've got to do something that makes him realize that he's being too shy."

"What could that be?" Lauren asked, totally enthralled.

"You can have your hand sort of end up on his thigh. Just long enough to make him know that you're feeling really close and comfortable with him, but not so long as to make him think you're like going to rip his clothes off!"

Lauren laughed with Joan. "At the same time," Joan continued, "you could moan softly to him. That conveys a lot of excitement."

Lauren thought about what she had said. "I guess I can do that," Lauren said.

"And of course you could sort of talk about it with him. Nothing direct, but just talk about shyness, about the fear of rejection, things which might make him think that he can trust you not to reject him if he were to initiate a kiss."

There was a lot there for Lauren to think about and she said, "thanks Joan. These are all great ideas. I'll try them out tomorrow."

"I'm sure you'll get him to kiss you. Right now he's probably asking his friends for advice on how to initiate a kiss," Joan said, "and further!"

"You mean..."

"Of course he won't stop with kissing, so you have to be prepared."

"Sure, I realize that, but ..."

"But?" Joan asked.

"But say he wants to feel me up. How much do I let him? I mean over my bra, or inside my bra?"

"That's up to you."

"But you know I've been wearing my padded bra, so..."

"I see," Joan said suddenly getting it, "you're afraid if he feels your bra or puts his hand inside it, then he'll feel the padding?"

"Exactly," Lauren said. While she was definitely embarrassed talking about this with Joan, she had no choice. It was important to know what to do before she was with Peter.

"Here's what you do," Joan said and she reached inside a small suitcase she kept under her bed and took out two small flesh colored objects. "You can borrow my silicon gel pads. They add a full size to your bust and they feel like the real thing. So in case Peter feels you up, on the outside of your bra anyway, he'll never know the difference!"

"Oh my God, that's a great idea," Lauren said excitedly, "you're sure you don't need them?"

"I used to wear them all the time but not anymore. I took them to camp just in case. You know, some boys can't get enough!"

Lauren laughed again with Joan. It was a perfect solution. The large breasts she wore for the play were too big to wear to the dance, but these would be just perfect. She'd not have to wear her padded bra, she could wear a regular one and she'd be the same size but then if Peter felt her up, he'd not be feeling a padded bra but the gel pads that felt like real boobs. "Thanks so much Joan, you're such a wonderful friend!" Lauren said and then gave her a hug.
 

 
At almost the same time at Camp Dan, Owen and Peter were hanging out at the arcade room in the recreation center during their free time. They were both thinking about the upcoming dance and what it might mean for them. "I never really expected to find a girl as nice as Thalia," Owen said. "I mean my first year going to the dances and like all of a sudden have it all work out so well."

Peter said, "probably half the girls at the dance would fall for you."

"Yeah right. Anyway, most of them don't do anything for me, not like Thalia."

"What about Lauren?" Peter said.

"Yeah, she's really pretty, as pretty as Thalia. Now their friend Joan, man she's a knockout!"

"I know, she's got this unbelievable figure, but like you said, Lauren is gorgeous in her own way. Maybe not as grown up as Joan but she really turns me on."

Owen smiled to himself. Through Peter's eyes, Lauren was so cute, but through his own, every time he was about to see her as a cute girl, he got the image of his friend Lorin in his mind. It was truly uncanny how they resembled each other. At the first opportunity he had to be alone with Lauren, he was determined to find out more about how she might be related to Lorin. "She really seems like a nice girl and she seems to like you a lot."

"Yeah, maybe, but I'm not so sure. I mean, I do think she likes me but I'm scared of coming on too strong."

"You haven't kissed her?"

"No, should I have?"

"When you said goodbye last dance, you didn't at least kiss her?"

"No, I was too uptight." Peter now was terribly worried he had blown it with Lauren. "Maybe I've screwed things up. She's going to know I've never had a relationship before."

"Don't worry. If she really likes you she'll give you another chance, but if you keep on ignoring her, she's liable to think you're a fruit cake or something."

Peter went back over in his mind the events of the last dance trying to remember if there had been a signal from Lauren that said that he ought to have kissed her. "What kind of signal do girls do, if they want you to kiss them?" he asked.

"They hold up semaphore flags," Owen said laughing.

"No, seriously. Can I assume she would want to kiss me just because she seems to like me? Is that enough?"

"You're way too analytical. If she does or doesn't want to kiss you, you'll find out when you start to kiss her. If she doesn't want to kiss you, then I doubt that later on she'll change her mind and want to, so there is nothing to lose by rushing it. It's pretty simple."

"Thanks," Peter said, "OK, so I'm definitely going to try and kiss her, but what then. How do you know if it's OK to feel a girl up?"

"It's the same thing. Kiss awhile, make sure she's liking you, and then try a little feel up."

"What's a little feel up?"

"Man you are dense. Outside her bra, over her blouse. Then slip your hand inside her blouse. Then inside her bra. You know, it can't be too hard."

Peter blushed listening to Owen. It was all brand new to him - and he was scared. The thought of having his hand touch Lauren's bra and then feel her breast inside it made him feel intense stabs of desire. It was a powerful force and he knew that he wouldn't be able to relax until after he had tried to touch her. He prayed that she would not reject him.
 

 
The next night, the dance was once again at Camp Shoni and this time there was a tangible excitement in the air as many of the girls awaited particular boys coming from Camp Dan. Very much among them were Thalia and Lauren, with the latter particularly happy to be wearing Joan's gel pads. She felt more confidant that no matter what the evening provided she would not be embarrassed by Peter finding out that she really did not have enough breasts for him to put his hands on. The trick would be to not let him inside her bra; no matter how overcome with the fog of romance she might end up, particularly if they kissed, she would keep one little part of her mind focused on making sure he didn't quite get all the way to second base.

After about half the boys were off the bus, Lauren saw Owen and Peter walking together toward she and Thalia. When they arrived, Lauren saw that Owen gave Thalia a very conspicuous kiss on the lips, while Peter merely embraced her. For a split second she had thought he was going to kiss her, as if he had been planning to, but at the last minute had chickened out. Lauren felt a pang of jealousy, but then felt a bit sorry for Peter since he looked more than a little bit nervous. She decided that one way or another she would make sure that that didn't happen again.

"So great to see you again," Peter said.

"How sweet of you," Lauren said cheerfully and added "the week flew by."

"I thought it took forever!" Peter said.

"I guess we've got a lot more to do at Camp Shoni than at Camp Dan," Lauren said.

"I meant waiting to see you again," Peter said a bit awkwardly.

"I know silly," Lauren said laughing. She could see clearly how nervous he was. "And I thought about you," Lauren said now deciding she had better rescue Peter from his nerves. The deep bass of "Gimme Some Lovin," by the Spencer Davis Group was throbbing through the dance hall and Lauren said, "Oh, that's one of my favorite songs! Let's dance."

"Great," Peter said relieved by what she had said and by the chance to dance without having to think of something intelligent to say.

The physical exertion of dancing helped Peter to finally relax. He and Lauren were now clearly an "entity" and with that settled they could concentrate on getting to know each other better. Lauren especially liked the slow dances where she could feel enveloped within the human warmth of Peter. With his fairly strong arm pressed on her back she felt secure and free of having to do anything more than just float around in the little world she formed with him. In this situation, where they didn't have to look at each other's faces, Peter came to life and talked more freely and made jokes that Lauren appreciated. He had a wry kind of cynical humor that struck the right chord with her.

It seemed to Lauren like it would be an easy next step for Peter to kiss her while they danced, but he made no attempt to, except once when she thought that he had kissed her forehead. They must have danced ten dances together when Lauren suggested they get some refreshments and she took advantage of the break to excuse herself to freshen up in the girl's room. Once there, as she stared at her face in the mirror, she touched up her makeup including reapplying her favorite shade of pink lipstick.

When she was done, she was pleased with the result. She decided that she was definitely pretty, the kind of pretty face that Peter would want to kiss, but maybe a bit too pretty so that he was afraid to do so. She did think he was good looking but she wasn't sure that he felt that he was. Maybe if he did, then he would have more confidence. So she decided that come hell or high water she was going to: number one, make sure that they went outside to sit on one of the "makeout benches" that many of the kids took advantage of at every dance; number two, flatter him a little bit to get him to relax; and, finally, number three, apply Joan's advice to get Peter to grab her and kiss her. She really wanted to swoon with their first kiss; it was so long in coming!
 

 
When Lauren came back to the dance floor, she looked around for Peter but couldn't see him anywhere. She went over to the refreshment table and he was nowhere in sight. She decided that maybe he too had gone to the rest room and she sauntered around the dance floor looking for a girl friend to talk to. She saw Judy in the distance and was heading her way when Brian intercepted her. He had come up upon her suddenly and surprised her.

"Hi Lauren, let's dance," he said cheerfully. A slow song was just coming on and Lauren hesitated worrying that it wouldn't look good to Peter if she were dancing with Brian. It was also the case that she felt vulnerable to Brian's charm - after all she had spent a whole week having a major crush on him.

"C'mon," Brian said seeing that Lauren didn't seem to be objecting and he took her hand and had her fall into place dancing with him. As much as she had grown fond of dancing with Peter, there was something about Brian's charisma that stoked her excitement. Perhaps it was the danger of being seduced by the more mature and manlier man. Luckily for she and Peter she was certain that Brian was only fooling around with her. He surely hadn't suddenly had a change of heart and decided to go with her.

"You're looking especially pretty today," Brian said.

"Thank you," Lauren said somewhat stiffly.

"Are you still mad at me?" Brian asked with some amusement in his voice.

"I was never mad," Lauren said.

"Hurt then?"

"I was never hurt," Lauren lied.

Brian made a tiny sound like a snort or a laugh and Lauren knew that he didn't believe her for a second.

"I like you Lauren because you're real. You're not phony like a lot of the girls out there who feel they have to always play games."

Yeah, Lauren thought, she had been so real she had asked Brian to kiss her. No game playing there! But the more she thought about it, the more she had to admit to herself that Brian hadn't played a game either. He had told her straight out that she was too young for him.

"You're not a game player either," Lauren said.

"Thank you for saying that. Most people don't get that about me."

"So we're friends, that's good," Lauren said.

Brian held her a bit tighter. "You are tempting," he said.

Just then Lauren saw Peter standing to one side watching her dance with Brian. As Brian swung her around so that he was facing Peter, he said, "you're boy friend is watching us."

"You're jealous," Lauren said.

"Who wouldn't be?" Brian said, "But I'll survive, somehow."

"Poor Brian," Lauren said.

Brian laughed. "You're fun Lauren. If you were two years older I'd marry you."

"So in two years you're going to propose?"

Brian smiled at her,"As soon as you're no longer jail bait."

"I'll be waiting," Lauren said.

The song ended and Brian gave Lauren an extra squeeze and walked away. Lauren turned toward Peter and walked over to him.

"So what's that about?" Peter said.

"We're friends. I met Brian the first dance and now I've had one dance with him at each of the other dances."

"He's like the coolest guy in camp," Peter said.

"Do you know him?"

Peter wanted to say that cool guys like Brian never noticed guys like him, but instead he said, "a little." He would have liked to hear some reassurance from Lauren that he had nothing to worry about as far as Brian was concerned, but decided against saying anything about that.

"Let's go outside," Peter said and took Lauren by the hand. They walked out through the main door and down a landscaped path that was lined with benches. They found an empty bench and sat down. It was just far enough from the lights at the door that it would be hard to see what they were doing, if they decided to do anything. So number one in Lauren's plan to get Peter to kiss her had been accomplished without her having to do anything. That was good. Now she would have to enact part two of her scheme.

They sat on the bench in silence for a minute and Lauren said, "this is turning out to be a great summer!"

"It sure is," Peter said.

"Tell me why," Lauren said.

Peter looked at her and then down at the ground. "Because I met you."

"You seem so shy saying that," Lauren said.

"I'm sorry," Peter said.

"No, no, no, I mean that shy is good. I like shy boys."

"You do?"

"Sure. I think I'm kind of shy too. It's just the way some people, a lot of people, are."

Peter smiled at her. It was clear that her words were helping ease his mind about some of the worries he had about being cool.

"Shyness is a burden," Peter said.

"But one you don't have to always lug around with you," Lauren said laughing. This conversation was going just the way she wanted.

"Agreed. So now that I won't be shy any more, what should I do?"

"Yes, I'm wondering the same thing," Lauren said, "what will you do?" This was the moment to enact part three of her plan and she smiled as intensely at Peter as she could and slid and leaned over a little more toward him so their legs were just touching. She could see Peter making a great effort to fight some inner demon that prevented him from kissing her. It occurred to Lauren that maybe he just didn't know how to kiss a girl and that was why he was so hesitant.

She waited a minute or two smiling at him until her mouth muscles felt tired from the effort. Still no kiss. She lifted her hand and without exactly concentrating on where it would land let it slowly move down. It came to rest on Peter's thigh and while she let it just ever so gently rest there, she smiled again at Peter and tilted her head slightly as if being just ever so slightly submissive to him. To her relief she finally felt Peter moving in closer and with a flutter in her heart she felt his lips against hers. It was a gentle, tentative kiss he gave her and then he backed off. A start Lauren thought but still not what she was expecting. She waited for him to kiss her again. It occurred to her that maybe he was waiting to find out if she screamed or freaked out or protested in some way. She wondered if she should say something to encourage him, like "nice kiss" or something like that.

Lauren adjusted her position to be even closer to Peter. She realized that her hand still rested on his thigh and she took it off, smoothed her skirt a bit and let it fall back on his leg. Peter again came forward and kissed her and this time his arm came across Lauren's back and gently drew her more closely into him so their kiss became firmer. Lauren wondered if this was a plan of Peter's to drive her into a tremendous excitement. If it was, it was working perfectly. Maybe Peter was actually a master of seduction and knew way more than he let on that he knew about what he was doing.

Peter had still to part his lips and they kissed lips to lips with Lauren feeling more and more woozy with each second. The slow march forward with Peter was so infinitely different than with Marcie who was almost like a cave man in the aggressive way she had kissed her. Peter kissed as if there was all the time in the world. He pulled away again and Lauren took a deep breath.

"Your kiss is so dreamy," she said wanting to encourage him to do more.

This was the first time Peter had ever kissed a girl, but he had seen enough movies that he felt like he knew what to do. He was pretending he was in a movie and it made it a lot easier to act.

Lauren couldn't stand the pauses and the delicate kisses. She now wanted a deep, soulful kiss where she could suck on Peter's tongue. She hoped that he knew about French kissing. She moved her arm up around Peter's neck catching it in the crook of her bent arm and she drew herself closer into him. She had seen an actress in a movie do the same maneuver and it had the powerful affect of thrusting Peter's lips against hers, only this time she slipped her own tongue out between her lips to push into Peter's mouth. He parted his lips and she put her tongue slightly into his mouth. She felt his tongue touch her's and then push her tongue back into her own mouth with his following. Now Lauren was in heaven. It was a sweet, long, gentle kiss in which she wrapped her mouth around his tongue. Her one arm held his neck and the other rested on his thigh. Peter had one arm across her back and the other came up and lightly held her jaw. It seemed like a magic moment.

Lauren focused on how the kiss made her feel feminine. It was natural for a girl to kiss a boy and to the extent she allowed herself to fall fully and heavily into her female self she felt the moment was perfect. Kissing a boy seemed to remove any doubt in Lauren's mind about what sex she really was. As her mind floated in a happy and soaring place she allowed herself to feel Peter's masculinity. Her fingers slid over his chest and gently landed on his upper arms and she sensed the tensed hardness of his muscles.

As she enjoyed the intimacy with Peter she wondered what his next move would be. Being felt up for the first time would be a rite of passage into a world that only girls knew about. To have a boy feel your breasts, even if only through the fabric of a bra, was a wonderful admission of one's femininity: that one had a bra and the boy didn't, that one had breasts and the boy didn't, that the boy was driven to distraction by these parts of your girlhood. Lauren felt a tingling in her nipples as they waited for whatever may come. If not this night, then certainly in a week's time. It was delicious.

Of course, Lauren was flat-chested, and flat-chested in the most disastrous way that boys are - with not even a decent sized nipple. Not even a slight puffiness around her boy's nipples - "breast buds" - for her to offer to Peter. All she could give him was the illusion of breasts consisting of gel pads in her bra. Better than nothing for sure, but not what Lauren wanted for herself.

One day, she would somehow, someway, get herself real breasts. And once she and Peter began what she knew would be the inevitable rise in their intimacy to include her breasts - with Peter more than likely becoming obsessed with knowing them - then Lauren would have to devise all kinds of tricks to prevent Peter from getting inside her bra. She would have to distract him in some way - take advantage of his arousal - she would fill in the details when the time came.

But now, despite the steadily increasing passion with which Peter kissed her, he was not making a move to feel her up. While she relaxed and enjoyed the now long and fulfilling kisses with Peter, a sudden insight came to her: her excitement in being kissed by Peter depended on his masculinity. She would never want to kiss a boy who was like herself. So a boy's masculinity provoked her own femininity - and that explained why Brian even more so than Peter made her feel hopelessly like a girl. But the truth was that in some ways Marcie made her feel even more like a girl than Peter or Brian did. It had to do with being more feminine than Marcie. It was not challenging to be more feminine than a guy like Peter or Brian. But to be more feminine than a girl, that was a real confirmation of one's femininity.

With Marcie, Lauren could be as frivolous and silly and delicate as she wanted - it could only amuse her. The same behavior with Peter would probably make him run to the hills. It was crystal clear now: to be Marcie's girl friend was to be even more of a girl than to be Peter's girl friend. To be a girl in a man's world vs. being a girl in a girl's world.

Despite all of this, Lauren felt she had the capacity to love both Peter and Marcie and she felt completed by loving both of them. Going to the cotillion with Peter was going to be everything she had ever dreamed about, and she would make sure that she did nothing to jeopardize that. On the other hand, if she also felt an especially deep longing to be Marcie's pretty and gentle girlfriend that was good too and she would let that relationship blossom as well.
 
 

End Part V
 
 
To Be Continued...