Luke and Lucy had their first meeting with their gender identity counsellor just over a month after confessing their feelings to each other, and just a few days before they started college. As they had done their whole lives, the twins attended the counselling session together, despite the counsellor's offer of separate appointments. During the session, Luke and Lucy told the counsellor everything they had told Dr Sutton, and at the end felt relieved to get their frustrations and stresses off their chest, and happy at the knowledge that their next meeting was only a few days away.

However, as much as they enjoyed speaking to their counsellor, the fact still remained that when they emerged from their first meeting, Luke was still just as male and Lucy was still just as female as they had been when they entered the meeting, and neither of them were any closer to figuring out how to tell their parents what they'd wanted to tell them for over a decade.

While fully transitioning wasn't yet an option for the twins, they were able to make smaller, subtler changes to their daily lives as they began their college studies- with Lucy's changes being significantly less subtle than Luke's.

"Are you sure you want to wear that to college?" Sarah asked her daughter as the sixteen-year-old girl grabbed her rucksack and joined her brother downstairs.

"Yep," Lucy bluntly replied, earning an exasperated sigh from her mother.

"It's a little plain, isn't it?" Sarah asked. "You want to make a good first impression on your first day at college. Believe me, the next two years will go a lot easier if you have friends that you-"

"Mam- I'm okay, really," Lucy interrupted, earning an angry frown from her mother. "Why is it such a big deal what I wear, anyway?"

"Because I don't want you to be unhappy at college, that's why," Sarah replied. "You ARE going to want to make friends when you're there. And believe it or not, I do still remember being your age, and back then, nobody wanted to be friends with the plain-looking loner."

"Oh- geez, thanks mam," Lucy snorted, deepening her mother's frown even as she herself flinched. In the months since leaving school, similar arguments had become increasingly frequent as Lucy had rebelled against her mother's attempts to turn her into the girl she wanted her to be. And yet as much as she wished she could tell her mother the real reason for her 'rebellion', Lucy kept quiet, her fear continuing to overpower her depression.

"You know what I mean," Sarah sighed. "With everything you've been through the last few months, I- I just don't want you to be miserable. is that so bad?"

"Wearing some lipstick and a trendy skirt isn't going to make me less miserable," Lucy scoffed. "The opposite, in fact."

"Well- it's your life, you wear what you want," Sarah said, throwing her hands up in defeat as the twins left the house and made their way to the nearest bus stop.

"Yeah, if only that were true," Lucy sighed as her brother smiled at her sympathetically.

"One day, she'll get it," Luke reassured his sister. "We'll make her get it. Even if she and dad didn't say a thing about what I'm wearing..."

"You wear jeans and a t-shirt, big deal," Lucy scoffed. "I wear it and the fucking world ends."

"...Mam does kinda have a bit of a point, though," Luke said hesitantly, flinching as Lucy looked at him with the same angry stare that their mother had used on her moments earlier.

"...About what, exactly?" Lucy asked.

"We aren't gonna know anyone at college," Luke said, earning a frown from his sister as she was forced to concede the point. "It would be nice to maybe make some new friends?"

"If I'm going to make friends," Lucy said firmly, "then I'm going to make them as me, not as some fake, plastic version of me!"

"Right on, sister," Luke said with a smile that Lucy eventually mirrored. "And the same goes for me. If anyone would ever want to make friends with- well, 'that' Luke, anyway."

"I do," Lucy said with a shrug that widened her brother's smile.

"We'll do this together, right?" Luke asked.

"Aye," Lucy said. "Always." The teenaged girl smiled confidently as she and her brother boarded the bus, though inside, she was almost paralysed with fear. What if her mother had been right? What if she was walking into a place where no one wanted to be friends with her? Or even worse, what if the friends she made were just like her 'friends' from school- shallow and superficial, girls who would judge Lucy purely for wearing jeans and no make-up, just like her mother said- girls to whom she could never show the 'real' her?

Unbeknownst to Lucy, her brother was gripped by the exact same fear as her. He too wanted to make friends, but not with the same meatheads he'd hung around with at school. He didn't want to spend all of his free time playing football or talking about which girls he'd want to have sex with the most- the type of 'banter' that had made Luke extremely uncomfortable at secondary school. What worried Luke the most, though, was whether or not he'd be able to keep his 'mask' in place, whether or not he'd be able to keep up the pretense of being an ordinary boy- or even being a boy full stop. The older he got, the more certain he was that him being a boy was wrong, and the more effort it took to behave the way 'he' was expected to. He knew that one slip, just one tiny flaw in his behaviour would irreparably ruin the rest of his time at college- if not the rest of his life...

Fortunately for the twins, they always had each other. They stayed glued to each other during their first day at college, such as when they were meeting their tutors, registering with the school library or touring the campus. Even their toilet breaks were synchronised so that they wouldn't be without the other's company for too long. Luke and Lucy were both relieved to discover that they were in all of each other's classes as well, and over the first week, they gradually began to settle into the college routine- even if they were no closer to making any new friends. Luke and Lucy discussed joining one of the college's many societies together, but that was hampered by the fact that as close as they were, they had very few interests in common. Lucy had no desire to join any of the performing arts societies that took Luke's interest, while Luke flat-out refused to join the college's football team- even though, much to Lucy's irritation, there was no girls' team that she could join. Luke's suggestion that Lucy could always start a team of her own was not met with positivity from the young woman.

Eventually, the last days of Summer passed, and as Autumn began, the twins quickly settled into their new routine. Despite Sarah's fears, no one at college said anything about the androgynous-looking girl or her shy, sensitive brother- at least, not to the twins' faces. However, not much else was said to the twins' faces, either. Their classmates were polite enough, but both Luke and Lucy knew they were the outsiders, the loners in their college, the 'weird twins who only hung around with each other because no one else liked them'. They also knew the reason for this- and knew that because they could never tell anyone the reason, things were unlikely to change.

However, in the second week of October, the twins finally received a much-needed ray of hope from a very unexpected source.

"Okay," Mr. Patterson, the twins' teacher, said at the start of the lesson. "I hope you all read chapter 4 over the weekend, as you're gonna need it for your next assignment. To start off, I want you to pair up, but with someone you've not worked with yet. Sorry, you two!" Luke and Lucy grimaced as they were singled out by their teacher, as while they knew his teasing was good-natured, they were both secretly terrified at having to work with another person and losing the 'safety net' that they had in each other.

Knowing that he had to 'keep up appearances' and pretend to be just 'one of the guys', Luke approached one of the other boys in the class, trying his hardest not to sigh at what he knew was coming next.

"Alright mate?" The other boy said with a cheeky grin. "Not got a partner either, like?"

"Well, umm, not anymore, no!" Luke replied, internally cringing at the other boy's lack of reaction to his joke. "I'm, umm, I'm Luke, by the way."

"Neil," the other boy said. "So, you're pissed off that you're not allowed to work with your girlfriend, then?"

"Oh, she- she is NOT my girlfriend!" Luke said, cringing again at the look of confusion on the other boy's face.

"What, you- you're not, like, a poofter, are you?" Neil asked as Luke's stomach began to churn. He had to go right there, didn't he? Luke thought to himself.

"Umm... No..." Luke replied, though internally, he knew he wasn't being 100% truthful.

Luke rarely thought about sex for a number of reasons, but mostly because every time he did, he felt ashamed- ashamed that he felt boys more attractive than girls.

All throughout his time at school, whenever Luke's friends had bantered about the more attractive girls in the school, Luke had gone along with it- nodding when he was supposed to nod, laughing when he was supposed to laugh and sneering at the girls deemed less attractive by his 'clique'. Fortunately for Luke, his sister was never the subject of any of the 'clique's banter, and even more fortunately for Luke, he was never expected to come with any names of his own, as while the rest of the boys were obsessed with getting a girlfriend, Luke was obsessed with being a girlfriend. His obsession with girls ended with their clothes, hair and make-up. But he never dared to tell any of his 'friends' this for fear of how they'd react, and Luke didn't dare tell Neil either for the same reason- and he certainly didn't dare tell Neil how attractive he found him...

"...She's my sister," Luke explained. "We're twins."

"Ah, okay," Neil said. "You don't look a lot alike, though?"

"Well- no," Luke said. "On account of her being a girl and me being a boy." Luke bit his lip as he waited for Neil to respond- he didn't want to patronise the boy, but at the same time, he hated having to self-identify as a boy.

"Okay, fair enough," Neil chuckled, setting Luke's mind at ease. "What's this thing we're meant to be doing then?" Luke smiled as he and Neil began to read through the assignment together, relieved that he didn't have to answer any further personal questions.

However, while Luke was able to relax, Lucy felt herself grow more and more uncomfortable with the study partner she'd found herself with. Other than a quick exchange of 'hi's, she and the other girl had barely spoken, the red-haired girl instead preferring to immerse herself in her phone. Friendly girl, Lucy thought to herself as she tried not to scowl. Several awkward moments of silence passed as the girls waited for their assignment to be handed out to them, and despite herself, Lucy couldn't help but stealthily peep at the girl's screen, scowling when she saw that she had the Angels' app open. However, when she looked back a few seconds later, Lucy frowned with confusion when she saw that the Angels' app had been replaced with the official Newcastle United FC app.

"...Toon fan, then?" Lucy hesitantly asked, hoping that the other didn't notice (or didn't mind) her snooping.

"Aye," the other girl replied. "Went to the Liverpool match last week with my dad, we got tickets for the Bournemouth match too, 'cause that's on my birthday, like."

"Cool," Lucy said. "I- I'm Lucy, by the way."

"Susie," the other girl replied with a smile. "So... Annoyed at being separated from your boyfriend, then?"

"Oh- GOD, no!" Lucy snorted. "He is absolutely NOT my boyfriend."

"That's a bit of an emphatic denial!" Susie chuckled. "So... Amicable ex? Not-very-amicable ex?"

"Twin brother," Lucy said forcefully.

"...Okay, I'll just sit here with my foot in my mouth for the rest of the morning, then," Susie mumbled.

"N- no, don't worry about it THAT much," Lucy mumbled. "I'm just surprised, like, you didn't know? Like, we don't make a secret of it?"

"I- ugh, no offence, but, I- I try not to, you know, shove my nose into other people's business?" Susie replied.

"Yep, me too," Lucy chuckled. "And I do appreciate it, I really wish other people would take a hint and not poke their nose into my private life, heh."

"...That sounds like something else I shouldn't pry into any further, so I won't," Susie said with a grin.

"And I appreciate that too," Lucy said, a wide smile quickly appearing on her face as well. "So, do you go to see the Toon play much?"

"We try to go at least once a month," Susie replied. "Me and my dad. 'Cause, you know, I'm an only child... I think he always wanted a son, but it's cool, I like football, so everything's great, heh!"

"Yeah..." Lucy sighed. "I keep trying to persuade my dad to take me, but he'd rather go with Luke instead, so- yeah."

"Is he a bit old-fashioned then, your dad?" Susie asked, half-smirking and half-grimacing as Lucy rolled her eyes. "Never mind, that answers THAT question, heh!" Lucy smiled as her new friend started to blush again. "Sorry, I really should learn to keep my nose out, heh..."

"Nah, I don't mind," Lucy shrugged, before chuckling tiredly as their assignment was handed to them.

"Well, maybe we can pick up the conversation at lunch?" Susie asked, before sighing sadly. "...Unless you'd rather hang out with your brother at lunch?"

"No reason we can't all hang out together, the three of us," Lucy shrugged. He'll certainly be interested that you're an Angels fan, Lucy thought to herself.

"Cool!" Susie giggled as Lucy relaxed more and more.

Lucy had been so certain that she'd never have anything in common with any of the girls on her course that it had never even occurred to her to just talk to one of them and see where it led. Lucy was looking forward to talking more with Susie at lunch- but she was also wary.

Like her brother, Lucy was attracted to boys, but she also found herself being attracted to many of the girls at her college- and Susie was one of them. Lucy found the girl funny, friendly and very cute- but she knew that if she even thought about starting a relationship with Susie, or any other girl, there'd be hell to pay with her parents, her grandparents and anyone else who found out. Not being able to tell anyone about her sexuality had become a source of frustration and misery for Lucy- but over the months, Lucy had become accustomed to the misery, to the extent that she almost didn't want to imagine her life without it. However, taking a chance on befriending Susie had worked out better than Lucy could've hoped for- and it made her wonder if she should start to take any other chances...

After a long morning of hard work, all of the class were relieved when the bell rang to signal the start of the lunch period- and no one was more relieved than Luke. He was relieved that he wouldn't have to listen to any more of Neil's drivel about football and he was especially relieved that he wouldn't have to listen to any of his jokes about the girls in their class and how they were 'gagging for it'. He could head to lunch, sit with his sister and just enjoy not having to pretend to be someone- or something- that he wasn't.

Luke's hopes were dashed, however, when he entered the canteen and discovered that Lucy wasn't alone at their usual corner table.

"Hi Luke!" Lucy said with a wide grin that immediately irritated Luke. Lunch was their time, when they could drop their public act and just be candid with each other, not having to worry about what anyone else said or thought. However, as irritated as he was, Luke trusted his sister enough to know that she wouldn't have invited a stranger to sit with them without a good reason, and given that she was even more reluctant to make new friends than Luke was, for her to have made a new friend in just a morning made Luke confident that the new girl, whoever she was, might become his friend too.

"Hi," Luke said with a smile as he approached the stranger. "I- I'm Luke, Lucy's brother."

"Susie Parker," the new girl said, grinning as Luke sat down with his meal. "Lucy here's been telling me all about you!" Luke suddenly froze in his seat and glared at his sister. All? The teenaged boy thought to himself as his anger suddenly returned.

"Well- not ALL about you," Lucy said, smiling sympathetically in an attempt to reassure her brother. "Just, you know, the shit stuff."

"You've not been talking long, then?" Luke asked, forcing a smirk onto his face as the two girls rolled their eyes.

"BOY," Lucy said, again smiling sympathetically so as to let her brother know she didn't mean what she'd said- she knew all too well how insulting that three letter word was to Luke.

"Lucy's been telling me that you're a Toon fan," Susie said.

"Aye, all my life," Luke replied, knowing sadly that he'd have to play the part that was expected of him- that of the stereotypical boy. It was a role he was familiar with, but that didn't mean he liked it, or wanted to spend any of his lunch playing the role, especially not after his morning with Neil.

"Cool," Susie said as an awkward silence fell over the table. "So, umm, do you- do you like, have any other hobbies?"

"Umm, not really..." Luke said, subtly glaring angrily at his sister. "I can always go and sit somewhere else if you two-"

"No- don't, not on my account anyway," Susie said.

"Nah, it's okay," Luke said. "Probably should talk more with my partner about the project anyway."

"Luke, seriously," Lucy said firmly. "Susie- Susie's also a big fan of the Angels."

"...How do you know THAT?" Susie asked with a frown.

"I- I kinda saw you checking their app," Lucy replied. "When I first sat down, you know?"

"Oh," Susie said, her frown deepening. "Okay... You- you didn't say anything in class about it? Are you a fan too?"

"Well, not really," Lucy replied. "The reason I recognise the app is 'cause-"

"No," Luke whispered, his tension levels quickly skyrocketing.

"'Cause Luke-" Lucy stammered. "Luke's kinda a fan too."

"Wha- really?" Susie asked, keeping her voice lowered to spare the young man's blushes.

"...HUGE fan," Luke confessed. "I know, I know, it's kinda, you know, gay..."

"And what's wrong with 'gay'?" Susie asked, smirking as Luke's tension visibly started to recede. "You- you aren't, are you? 'Cause I'm totally cool with it if you are, and I can keep a secret as well, honestly."

"Wha, did- did you tell her already?" Luke asked, before biting his lip as Susie frowned in confusion and his sister fixed him with an angry glare.

"...Tell me what?" Susie asked. "Is, like, is there- actually, you know what? If it's a secret, I get it, you don't have to tell me, I mean, for god's sake, we've known each other for less than five minutes, seriously? But if you like the Angels too, then I guarantee you've got a friend in me, heh!"

"...Thanks," Luke whispered as he and his sister calmed down again.

"But there is one thing I NEED to know," Susie said with an impish grin.

"Umm, okay...?" Luke said.

"Who's your favourite Angel?" Susie asked.

"Ah, that's easy," Luke replied with a grin. Jamie, the young man thought to himself. Or Kelly. For obvious reasons that I probably shouldn't tell you just yet... "It's, umm, it's Alice."

"Well, obviously!" Susie giggled. "I mean sure, she's from Stockton, but that's still the north, right?"

"Totally," Luke replied with a giggle. "And no, there's nothing wrong with 'gay' even though I'm not- well, you know." Not technically, anyway, Luke thought to himself. Not if I'm really a girl and only fancy boys, right?

The three teenagers spent the rest of their lunch period getting to know each other better, with the twins learning about Susie's childhood, her frustration at being an only child and her difficulty with making friends, while Susie heard stories about the twins' frustration with their parents and grandparents- though both Luke and Lucy were careful not to let slip the real reason for their frustration.

Eventually, the afternoon drew to a close, and with their work done for the day, Lucy and Susie said goodbye to each other, but not before each promised to add the other on Facebook that evening. As she headed toward the exit of the college, though, Lucy grimaced when she saw her brother head toward her with a look of anger on his face.

"...So, then?" Luke asked through gritted teeth. "Did you tell her?"

"What?" Lucy snorted. "Of course not! She only knew there was a secret because you blabbed it to her."

"Well- okay, maybe," Luke said, before sighing angrily.

"What?" Lucy protested again. "You're the one who said it'd be nice to make some new friends..."

"Aye," Luke agreed. "And it'd have been nice to know them for longer than five minutes before telling them about you know what!"

"Ugh, for god's sake, I didn't tell her already!" Lucy growled. "Please believe me on that?"

"...Fine," Luke sighed. "And- and you're right, she obviously didn't know until I nearly- well, yeah."

"Yeah," Lucy said.

"I still don't want it getting around the college that I like the Angels, though," Luke mumbled. "It came up when I was chatting with the guy I'm working with and he wrote it off as 'gay shit'."

"Well, we won't be inviting HIM round any time soon, will we?" Lucy asked with a smirk.

"No chance," Luke chuckled. "But- but Susie...?"

"I- I'd like to get to know her better, aye," Lucy said, before smiling sympathetically. "But you're not getting replaced, okay? You're my best friend, you always have been, and you always will be. It's just nice to finally, you know, have a best 'girl' friend, that's all."

"Even though you're not really a girl?" Luke asked quietly, making Lucy pause to think.

"...No reason boys and girls can't be just friends," Lucy said with a grin that Luke mirrored- as agitated as he was, he was happy to see his sister finally smiling.

"Very true," Luke said with a grin as the siblings headed toward their home. Like his sister, he was looking forward to getting to know Susie better, and hoped that he could as good friends with her as Lucy obviously hoped to be. However, he was also wary- Susie had to know that he had a secret and would undoubtedly pry into it, and Luke knew that if his secret did come out, his life would be over. College, family, friends- all over in an instant. Luke prayed that his sister's judgement was correct, and that Susie would turn out to be the friend they both always dreamed of having...

Over the following few weeks, Lucy and Susie grew ever closer as friends while they worked on their project together. Luke had no such luck with Neil, but he didn't expect to- Neil was an almost stereotypical meat headed boy, only interested in girls and football. Luke played along, engaging in the banter that was expected of him, but all the while his mind was elsewhere, imagining what it would be like to have a true friend, a female friend like Susie that Luke could hang out with. Sure, Luke had Lucy, but he knew that she was no more a girl than he was a boy. In theory, Luke could always have hung out with Susie anyway, but he knew there were two major obstacles to that. Firstly, everybody, especially his parents, would assume that Susie was his girlfriend, and second, and most importantly, Susie still didn't know about Luke's biggest secret- and Luke was terrified at the prospect of telling her...

Eventually, November rolled around, and brought with it the party that the twins were looking forward to, but also secretly dreading- not because of having to spend the day with Susie, but because of the reaction the 'party' had received from their parents.

"I still don't get why she'd want to spend her birthday watching football," Sarah said as the twins grabbed their coats and prepared to leave the house. "I mean, sure, you said that she's a tomboy, but what about all her other friends? They'll be bored stiff..."

"Speaking of 'stiff'," Paul teased his son, earning an eye roll from the sixteen-year-old boy. "Oh come on, you FINALLY get a girlfriend and you're going to keep us waiting forever to meet her?"

"Susie isn't my girlfriend," Luke meekly mumbled, inwardly sighing as his father simply chuckled in response.

"Of course she isn't," Paul laughed. "Well, just be glad that your first girlfriend at least likes the same things you do!" Yeah, Luke sarcastically thought to himself as he and his sister tried not to roll their eyes.

"Well, the important thing is that the three of you have fun today," Sarah said with a sincere smile. "And I am glad that you're both making friends."

"Even if for one of yas 'friend' is in inverted commas!" Paul teased his son, chuckling as the teenager rolled his eyes. "Go on, go and have fun at the football. I'll keep an eye out for the three of you in the crowd, maybe then I'll finally get to see what this 'Susie' girl looks like!"

"You'll meet her soon, I already told you," Lucy said, before internally breathing a sigh of relief as the sound of a car's horn came from outside the house. "We'll see you later."

"Stay safe, you two!" Sarah called after her children as they left the house, not hearing the frustrated groans they both let out once the front door was closed.

"...You know we're going to have to introduce Susie to them sooner or later," Luke sighed. "That's a conversation I'm NOT looking forward to."

"A conversation with who, mum and dad or Susie?" Lucy asked.

"All of them," Luke replied with a snort. "I mean, yes, I keep saying to them that Lucy isn't my girlfriend, but- ugh. Once they get an idea in their head..."

"Uh- yeah?" Lucy snorted. "This is me you're talking to, remember? Mum had it in her head for years that I was gonna be a ballerina, never mind the fact that a, I couldn't dance, and b, I hated dancing."

"Still, at least we get to do what WE want today," Luke said with a grin as he opened the car door and he and his sister slid onto the back seat.

"Or rather, what the birthday girl wants!" Lucy said with a teasing grin. "Happy birthday, Suse!"

"Happy birthday!" Luke cheered.

"Aww, thanks you two!" Susie replied from the front passenger seat with a wide grin.

"What did you get today?" Lucy asked eagerly.

"Well, this, for starters!" Susie replied, turning around as far as she could to show off her brand-new Newcastle United football shirt. "And some money, a few DVDs, the usual stuff."

"I've tried to remind her that seventeen isn't as big as the birthdays either side," Susie's mother teased her daughter, earning a sigh from the birthday girl.

"Did you get any Angels stuff?" Luke asked, before biting his lip as he earned a frown of confusion from his friend's mother.

"Odd question for a boy to ask," Mrs. Parker chuckled.

"Nah, there's no reason boys can't be into the Angels," Susie said with a shrug. "And no, I didn't, though I'm going to be getting the Out of Heaven tour DVD once it's out. Wish I could've gone down south to go to one of the shows last month..."

"Or they could've come up here," Luke chuckled, again cringing as his friend's mother looked at him with confusion. "Anyway, umm, will we be meeting everyone else at the stadium?" Luke frowned with confusion as his question earned disapproving looks from the two women in the front of the car, before triggering an awkward silence within the vehicle.

"Umm..." Lucy said, meekly attempting to break the silence. "Luke and me, we- we clubbed together on your present, hope you don't mind?"

"No, of course not!" Susie replied, the smile returning to her face as she took the carefully wrapped package from Lucy's hands and looked expectantly at her mother.

"...Yes, go on, you can unwrap it now," Mrs. Parker said, smiling as Susie eagerly tore into the package to reveal a small bundle of clothes and CDs.

"We didn't know what exactly we should get you, so we sort-of got you, like, a mixed bag of stuff," Luke explained.

"Also, we couldn't agree on what to get you," Lucy said.

"Ah, really, this is great!" Susie giggled. "Thank you both SO much for this!"

"It must be nice to be as close as you two are," Mrs. Parker mused. "Though I suppose being twins, it's kinda part of the territory, heh. I always regret Susie not having a little brother of sis-"

"Mum!" Susie hissed, silencing her parent, much to the surprise and confusion of her two friends.

"...Anyway," Mrs. Parker said in a subdued voice, "it's just a pity Susie's dad had to work today, he usually goes to matches with Susie, but I'm sure the three of you will have fun by yourself."

"Yeah," Luke said, trying his hardest not to frown with confusion as the car pulled into the car park of St James' Park.

The three teenagers quickly jumped out of the car (with Susie handing her presents to her mother for safe keeping) and made their way to the turnstiles, the two girls' excitement levels rising with every step they took. Luke, however, felt increasingly distracted, not just by the prospect of having to sit through yet another football match, but by the question he'd asked during the car ride but hadn't received an answer to. The question nagged at Luke's mind until he finally blurted it out, stopping the two young women in their tracks.

"So... Are we meeting anyone else here?" Luke asked, biting his lip and trying not to flinch as the birthday girl turned to him with an angry look in her eyes.

"No," Susie replied bluntly. "No, we're not, okay?"

"Umm... Okay..." Luke said, his voice trailing off into an indistinct mumble. "Sorry..."

"Ah- jeez..." Susie said, letting out a heavy sigh before giving Luke a quick hug. "No, I'm sorry, I- ugh. Long story."

"You- you don't have to tell it if you don't want to..." Luke mumbled.

"Seriously," Lucy said. "And I'll talk to idiot here when we get home about not prying!"

"Thanks," Susie whispered. "But I- ugh. Let's just say I- I never really made many friends at school, heh. This... This might be the most people I've ever had at my birthday party. There. I've said it. Can we please watch the match now?"

"Wha- really?" Luke asked, frowning as he was unable to control his tongue. "Someone as cool as you?"

"Ha!" Susie snorted. "You think I'M cool?"

"Well, compared to us you definitely are!" Lucy said, frowning as her new friend just sighed and rolled her eyes. "Well, umm, anyway, like you said, time to watch the match, right?"

"Aye, definitely!" Susie said, smiling a smile that the two twins could obviously tell was forced.

Neither of them could quite believe what Susie had said- to them she was quirky, funny and outgoing, an ideal friend for anyone. She was especially ideal for two people who had been so dependent on each other that they'd rarely if ever entertained the idea of having other friends.

All throughout primary and secondary school, Luke and Lucy had had other kids they'd hung out with from time to time, but no one they'd really called friends. They'd always been the loners, the weird twins who had their own thing going on, and that had suited both of them just fine. With Susie, they'd taken a chance- a risk, even. It had never occurred to them that Susie might have taken just as great a risk in befriending them, but as the familiar sound of Mark Knopfler's guitar filled the stadium, Luke glanced over at his new friend and saw the sadness in her eyes, like she was keeping a great secret she didn't dare tell anyone. For the first time, Luke began to wonder whether or not he and his sister had more in common with Susie than either of them had imagined...

The match ended disappointingly for the supporters in the ground, with Newcastle losing one-nil, but the three teenagers still had smiles on their faces as they headed out of the stadium- none wider than that of the birthday girl.

"Thanks for coming today, I had a great time!" Susie enthused as she gave the twins a friendly hug each. "Well, despite the result, heh!"

"Ah, we'll get 'em next time!" Lucy confidently chuckled. "Assuming, you know, you'd want to go with us again?"

"Umm, of course!" Susie giggled. "It was you two that made it fun today, not the football, hehe! Even if SOMEONE looked bored stiff during the match..." Luke frowned as the other two teenagers' eyes turned in his direction.

"...What?" Luke asked defensively. "I'm just not, you know, that into football, that's all..."

"I can confirm this," Lucy said with a giggle, biting her lip as Susie momentarily looked lost in thought, and as her brother looked at her with a frown on his face.

"Meh, whatever, it's not like it's written anywhere that you have to be a football fan to be a boy," Susie chuckled, before sighing as her phone buzzed to inform her of a new text message. "Yep, that's me mam, time to go home, heh."

"Aww," Lucy said with a mock pout, before chuckling. "Ah well, as long as you had fun, right?"

"Aye," Susie replied with a grin. "And I really did, loads, heh! We'll have to, you know, hang out some other time, maybe?"

"Definitely," Luke replied without hesitation, smiling as his sister nodded approvingly. "I mean, you can never have too- umm, too much fun, right?"

"...Right," Susie said as Luke grimaced- he knew that Susie knew what he was originally going to say, the catchphrase of one of the most famous women in the UK. "Are you sure you two don't need a lift home?"

"Nah, dad'll be here in a bit," Lucy replied.

"Think he wants actual proof that I watched the match, heh," Luke chuckled. "But we'll see you on Monday, right?"

"Of course!" Susie giggled, before giving the twins an awkward wave. "Well, umm, thanks for my presents again! See yous on Monday!"

"Bye," Luke and Lucy said simultaneously as they waved their friend goodbye.

"Well, that was fun, I guess," Lucy said with a shrug.

"Yeah, I guess," Luke said. "For a football match anyway, heh."

"Oh, I- I'm sure next time we hang out with Susie we can do something you enjoy," Lucy said. "Even if you'll have to pretend to hate it while I pretend to love it, heh."

"Well..." Luke said, before sighing and frowning.

"...'Well' what?" Lucy asked.

"It- ugh, nah, I don't want to say this," Luke said, before sighing again. "I was going to say 'assuming there is a next time'."

"There's no reason we wouldn't want to hang out with Susie again, is there?" Lucy asked.

"None that I can think of," Luke replied. "I'm just wondering if she'd want to still hang out with us. I mean... For the reason you know why."

"...Aye," Lucy sighed. "I mean, I still remember what mum said on the first day of college, 'no one wants to be friends with the plain-looking loner'. Even fewer would want to be friends with- well, I don't need to tell you, do I?"

"Indeed you do not," Luke said with a long sigh. "I mean, part of me actually thought, you know, if we made more friends, I could forget about- ugh. I even told Dr Adams this and- yeah. Dunno why. But the more I hang out with Susie, the more I feel like I need to, well, change, you know?"

"I kinda thought the same thing, sometimes," Lucy confessed. "But the more I do ANYTHING, the more I want to transition. Hell, if I sit perfectly still on a chair for an hour and don't think about anything, I'll still want to transition more than I did at the start of the hour."

"And the big question is," Luke said, "can we ever trust Susie enough to tell her about this? Can we ever trust ANYONE, not just at college but anywhere else?"

"Well, I dunno about you," Lucy sighed, "but pretty soon I don't think I'm gonna have a choice."

"Me either," Luke sighed. "...Did you- did you believe Susie when she said she, you know, was kinda a loner herself?"

"Meh, maybe," Lucy shrugged. "I mean, I've not seen her hanging out with anyone else at college. Then again, we can hardly talk, heh."

"Aye," Luke said, before sighing as he heard a car horn in the distance. "Dad'll be here soon, if that's not him already."

"Yeah," Lucy whispered, before letting out a long sigh as they headed to the stadium's multi-storey car park where, as they expected, their father was waiting for them.

"Hi you two!" The twins' father said with a grin as Lucy climbed onto the front seat of the car while Luke slid onto the back. "Pity about the result today, but did yous two have fun anyway?"

"Yeah, it was pretty cool," Luke replied.

"Even if you're still not bringing your girlfriend home to meet your parents?" Paul teased, laughing heartily as Luke rolled his eyes. "I know, I know, she's 'not your girlfriend'. You're not fooling anyone, Luke!" If only you knew, the sixteen-year-old boy thought to himself as he and Lucy turned their attention toward their phones.

"How d'you know she's not MY girlfriend?" Lucy asked from the back seat, smirking as her father rolled his eyes.

"Oh, aye, very funny," Paul laughed. "Seriously, Luke, when are we gonna meet her?"

"I dunno, soon, maybe," Luke replied with a shrug.

"...Okay, fine, hint taken," Paul sighed. "Believe it or not, I do just about remember being your age, heh. I know what it's like, wanting more independence, not wanting your folks interfering in every aspect of your life... Just know that if you, you know, want some 'advice', you can talk to me about anything, Luke." If only, the sixteen-year-old boy thought to himself as he and his family made their way back home.

The twins returned to college the following Monday as usual, and with the exception of a recap of the match on Monday lunchtime, no more was said about Susie's birthday, or her 'party', or what the red-haired girl had implied before the start of the match. However, what she'd said continued to linger in the twins' minds, and as the days went on and Christmas grew ever closer, they began to notice that the three of them had become just as isolated from the other students as the two of them had been at secondary school. Luke and Lucy couldn't help but wonder why this might be- and whether or not Susie had more in common with them than they knew...

Eventually, the end of term rolled around, and while the twins were excited about the impending festive season, it was more because of the time they'd get to spend away from college than the actual celebration of Christmas itself. Both Luke and Lucy knew that on the 25th of December, they would both open presents that neither of them wanted. They would be forced to dress in smart clothes that both of them detested- a smart shirt and a tie for Luke, a posh dress, shoes and make-up for Lucy- and would have to sit around listening to their grandparents talk about 'the good old days' for hours on end, the same as they'd done for every year they could remember. However hard they wished, Luke knew he wouldn't come down the stairs on Christmas morning to find dresses, make-up and perfume sets in his presents, while Lucy wouldn't get the football tickets and men's cologne that she wanted. And neither of them were any closer to the diagnosis of gender dysphoria that they both longed to receive...

What neither twin knew, however, was that two days before Christmas, they would get a present that would turn out to be far greater than any dress or football ticket.

"Okay, that's one term done!" Susie chuckled as she and the twins headed out of their college on the afternoon of the 22nd of December. "You two got much planned for the holiday?"

"Nope," Lucy replied with a sigh. "Same old shit we usually do."

"Specifically, Christmas dinner with our mega old-fashioned grandparents," Luke sighed.

"Meh, count yourself lucky," Susie shrugged. "I don't have any living grandparents, not anymore."

"Ah- sorry," Luke grimaced. "I kinda assumed- heh, I don't know WHAT I assumed. But, you know, we still hardly know anything about you..."

"Meh, I've never liked, you know, opening up..." Susie shrugged. "Will you two- will you two, you know, be free during the holiday? Or do you, like, go away to spend the holiday with your grandparents?"

"No, just Christmas Day," Luke replied.

"And they live here in Newcastle," Lucy clarified. "Well, our grandparents on our dad's side do, anyway, our grandparents on our mam's side live in Spain so I kinda wish we'd go to see them one year, heh!"

"Hell, I would, and I burn to a crisp if I'm in the sun for, like, five seconds!" Susie chuckled. "But I meant, like, are there any free days when I can, you know... Come over? Just to, like, hang out? Watch TV, listen to music, you know?"

"Umm, if you want," Lucy mumbled.

"...Well THAT sounded enthusiastic," Susie snorted.

"Ugh- no, Susie, we don't mean it like THAT," Luke sighed. "We- we'd love it if you came over, it's just- our dad has kinda got it into his head that- umm, that you- you're my girlfriend."

"Ah," Susie said, before grimacing. "You- you don't think that too, do you?"

"Umm... I'm not sure what the right answer here actually is..." Luke mumbled, before smiling embarrassedly as his friend giggled.

"That was- that was probably it," Susie replied with a chuckle. "And it won't, you know, kill me to pretend for a few hours, hehe!"

"Heh," Luke chuckled. "So, umm, when do you- when do you want to come over?"

"How about tomorrow?" Susie replied with a shrug.

"Umm... we'd have to clear it with our parents first, but sure," Lucy replied. "I'll text you to let you know, okay?"

"Cool!" Susie giggled. "It's been ages since I... Umm, never mind, heh. See you tomorrow!"

"Yep, fingers crossed!" Luke said, before sighing as their friend walked away.

"...Are you sure about this?" Lucy asked. "You know what dad's gonna say, right?"

"Yeah, I know EVERYTHING he's gonna say," Luke sighed. "But I figure, you know, he may as well meet Susie now rather than later, get it out of the way..."

"I guess," Lucy shrugged.

"And maybe if he, you know, sees that me and Susie aren't- well, aren't a thing, he'll stop going on about it," Luke mused.

"Well, that's definitely true," Lucy said, before letting out a tired chuckle. "Guess I'd better hide 'you know what' in case she comes into our bedroom, heh."

"Yep," Luke sighed as he thought about the three pairs of tights that were still securely hidden at the bottom of his wardrobe- and that he still held in his hands on a near daily basis to try to stave off the feelings of stress that were a constant part of his life. However, Luke's efforts were in vain, as even on the rare occasions that he dared to slip the tights on his legs, he knew he'd have to take them off mere seconds later. Luke tried his hardest to look forward to the 'playdate' the following day, but deep down, he knew it would almost certainly end up being something that had to be endured, rather than enjoyed.

The twins were up early the following morning and had only just finished breakfast when a knock came from their front door. Instinctively, they rose from their seats to greet their friend, only to grimace when their father jumped to his feet first.

"You two wait there," Paul commanded. "I'll let her in." Luke and Lucy both grimaced and fidgeted as they waited for what seemed like an eternity, but was in actuality just a few seconds, before their father returned with their new friend in tow.

"Hi guys!" Susie said with a nervous grin as she stood in the middle of the living room, fidgeting awkwardly while Paul sat back down.

"Hi," Luke replied with a grin.

"...Oh aye, romance ain't dead, is it?" Paul snorted, before chuckling. "Hint taken, I'll get out of ya way."

"Thanks," Luke said, before sighing and standing up. "Hi Susie. Sorry about that."

"Nah, your dad's okay," Susie shrugged. "So, umm, what d'you two want to do? 'Cause, like, it's freezing outside..."

"We can listen to music in my room if you'd like?" Lucy replied with a shrug, smiling as her new friend nodded.

"Lead the way!" Susie chuckled, but as Luke instinctively went to follow the two girls, a subtle cough from his father stopped him in his tracks.

"Luke, got a sec?" Paul asked, and Luke could immediately tell from the way he said it that it was not intended as a question.

"Umm, okay," Luke replied.

"Look, I know it's embarrassing to have your dad comment on your girlfriends," Paul said in a quiet, almost gentle voice. "But even after ten seconds I can tell that Susie's a decent girl, and-"

"Dad, we HAVE had 'the talk'," Luke interrupted, trying not to shudder at the memory of when he was thirteen.

"Well- yes," Paul said. "But what I'm trying to say is- well, have fun, but be careful, you know?"

"Umm, I think," Luke replied, before forcing a smile on his face as his father gave him a firm pat on the shoulder.

"Good lad," Paul chuckled. "But most importantly, HAVE FUN. Heh, you know- and I don't mean anything by this, I'm just saying, but- but your mum and I have wondered before whether or not you were, you know, a bit- umm..."

"Gay?" Luke asked, trying not to fidget nervously.

"Well- aye," Paul said, before chuckling again. "But thank god we now know you're not, eh?"

"...Yeah," Luke said, before smiling as he heard the familiar strains of Out of Heaven come from the room above them.

"...Yeah, alright, up you go," Paul said with a grin. "Don't want to let your sister hog your girlfriend, heh. Though you ARE lucky that they get along so well."

"Yeah," Luke said. "Umm, thanks, dad."

"You're welcome," Paul chuckled. "Now remember- Have. Fun!"

"Will do," Luke said, smiling as he was finally able to leave the living room and head up the stairs. However, he was totally unprepared for the sight that greeted him when he opened his sister's bedroom door.

While Paul and Luke were speaking, Lucy and Susie made their way up to the former's bedroom, where Susie sat down on the bed cross-legged while Lucy tidied up some of the mess on her floor.

"Ugh, sorry about this," Lucy sighed as she hastily bundled away some of the clothes and left-over wrapping paper that littered her room. "Meant to tidy up yesterday, but- heh. Kinda thought we were gonna hang out in Luke's room, you know? He's- well, he's a lot tidier than me, heh."

"Meh, my room's no cleaner," Susie shrugged. "I kinda take more care when putting away my clothes though, heh!"

"...Yeah," Lucy mumbled, trying not to grimace at the feel of the soft fabric of the bras and t-shirts in her hand. If it had been a football shirt or a pair of jeans, Lucy would've taken a lot more care with them. "Anyway, bit hectic, you know, Christmas and all that, heh."

"Well, yep," Susie chuckled. "Kinda lucky in a way I only have my mum to buy for, heh."

"Yeah," Lucy whispered, before clicking on her iPod and filling the room with music. "Umm, if you don't mind me asking- I mean, umm, you told us about your grandparents yesterday, but-"

"Do I see my dad?" Susie asked, smiling as Lucy blushed and nodded. "Not really, not anymore. He moved away when I was twelve, and- yep. I can't even remember a time when he lived with us, so- yeah. Don't consider him a big loss. And god knows- ugh, never mind."

"No, go on," Lucy said. "Umm, if you want to, I mean..."

"...Ugh, you'll find out sooner or later," Susie sighed as she began to tremble with nerves. "I mean, there are some kids from my school at our college, and I'm surprised they haven't told you yet, but- yeah."

"Don't- you don't have to-" Lucy stammered.

"Nah, no point hiding it," Susie sighed. "And better you hear it from me, I guess. I- ugh. There's no real way to say this gently, but I- I'm pansexual."

"...Umm, okay?" Lucy asked, biting her lip as an awkward pause came between the two of them. "Umm... And?"

"Wh- what, seriously?" Susie asked with a frown. "I mean, I appreciated not getting kicked out of the window, but- ugh. When I was thirteen, and at school, I- I kissed another girl. And was found out. And that was it. Life over, at least as far as school went, anyway."

"Why- why should I care if you're not, you know, 100% straight?" Lucy asked.

"...Yeah, I don't know why," Susie chuckled, "but when I first met you, I thought- I thought there was something, you know, 'not caveman' about you, heh."

"Yeah," Lucy whispered, before biting her lip and sitting down next to the ginger haired girl, taking a deep breath and leaning in closer to her, closing her eyes as their lips met...

"Oh- shit, umm, sorry," Luke stammered, his cheeks reddening as he stood in the suddenly open bedroom door.

"Oh, umm, Luke, hi!" Lucy said, gripping her duvet hard to try to stave off feelings of sheer panic. "Umm, Susie and I, we were- umm, we-"

"It- it's okay, I can, you know, go away..." Luke mumbled.

"No- ugh, no, you may as well know too," Susie sighed. "I mean, you two do, like, EVERYTHING together, so- heh. I mean, you probably figured it out already, like?"

"You- you're gay?" Luke asked, his pulse suddenly racing.

"Well- well, pansexual," Susie explained. "But, you know... Kinda gay? I mean, what does it matter what gender someone is, right? If you fancy someone, why let that stop you? Just because it's 'normal' to only fancy people of the opposite gender? Pfft, whatever, right?"

"I couldn't agree more," Luke said breathlessly. "So, like are- are you two now going out, then? 'Cause you know what mum and dad will say-"

"I- ugh, I dunno," Lucy sighed. "I mean, it was literally one kiss for one second, and then you came in, and-"

"Hint taken," Luke sighed, turning to leave the room only for Lucy to reach out her arm and stop him.

"You're not going anywhere," Lucy said firmly. "Because..." Lucy took a deep breath to steel herself as she felt her entire body fill with nerves.

Susie had entrusted her with what was obviously a very personal revelation, and for the first time ever, Lucy felt empowered. Sure, she and Luke had spoken to Dr Adams about their gender identity issued, but he was professionally obliged to maintain his silence, while Susie wasn't. And yet, Lucy felt like she could begin to trust the ginger haired girl. She just needed to be 100% sure first...

"...Susie," Lucy asked nervously. "You said- you said it shouldn't matter what gender a person is, right?"

"Aye," Susie replied with a shrug. "Why?"

"What about gender identity?" Lucy asked.

"Well- well we've got Out of Heaven playing in here, that should answer that question, shouldn't it?" Susie replied with a chuckle. "Why do you ask."

"Because..." Lucy said, taking a deep breath and squirming where she sat. It's now or never, Lucy thought as she briefly looked into her brother's eyes, both for support, and to let him know that what she was about to do was as much for him as it was for her. "When we kissed, I- I didn't consider it, you know, a 'gay' thing. Because I- I've never really felt like I was a girl. Not really. Deep down, I- I've always thought that I was a boy. Should be a boy, I mean. What I'm trying to say, is- ugh."

"We- we're transgender," Luke said, sitting down next to his sister and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "Deep down, I've never really felt like a 'boy' either, I- I always wanted to be a girl."

"Wh- are you two- are you two serious?" Susie asked, making the twins tense up and hesitantly nod. "Because if you are, then, well, you- you might be the coolest people I've ever met, heh."

"Wh- really?" Lucy asked.

"Aye, why wouldn't I?" Susie replied. "So, like, you- you've both always felt like this?"

"For as long as we can remember," Luke replied.

"...Okay, seriously, I knew there was something about you," Susie said with a smile. "And before you say anything, yes, you can trust me to keep your secret, heh!"

"Th- thanks," Lucy said, smiling as she felt both her and her brother's body decompress.

For the first time in a very long time, the twins could see light at the end of what had been a very long tunnel. They'd taken a chance in trusting Susie, and it had paid off, which made both Luke and Lucy wonder- if they could open up to their friend, maybe one day, they'd be able to open up to the whole world...