Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2585

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2585
by Angharad

Copyright© 2015 Angharad

  
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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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“That’s all folks,” said Henry sounding like Bugs Bunny as he wrapped up the press conference. It had lasted about forty minutes but felt like three weeks. How anyone being grilled in a law court would feel, I hated to think, but I could imagine it would be pretty awful.

Danielle held my hand as we walked back to Henry’s office for a cup of tea which magically appeared as we arrived there. I was surprised at the number of people working there on a Saturday, then, banks are in operation twenty four/ seven, or the transactions are, the security staff work round the clock and I know Sammi has been sent for in the middle of the night when some attack or crisis has happened. Usually, the attacks emanate from places within the old Soviet Union. It now appears to be a place with huge natural resources, enormous poverty amongst large numbers of its population while the vast majority of its money is controlled by a small clique of robber barons who form the government or commercial interests and linked into organised crime. In effect crime and the military seem to be the only things which are organised there.

I don’t know why they seem to focus on our bank, perhaps they don’t, it might just feel like it. I know we’re smaller than HSBC and Barclays, probably RBS as well but not much and we’re in profit.

“You look really smart, young lady,” Henry said to his granddaughter. She blushed and muttered a thank you. “I can’t believe you haven’t always been a girl.”

“As long as everyone else feels the same, we’ll be okay,” said Simon looking at Jason who shrugged and said something about protecting minors.

Then he added, “Because you scored those goals your name is in the public domain, so it’s going to be very difficult to keep it quiet.”

“But she’s a minor,” I said angrily.

“I’m well aware of that, but the fact is Danielle’s name is available from reports of the match. The fact that she scored three spectacular goals is what is giving it publicity, however, they won’t be able to mention her gender situation because she’s a minor, they might add that Croatia were complaining to the international board and then suggest because they say one of the players is or was a boy.”

“That’s not fair, Jason,” pouted Danni, “I didn’t ask to be a girl, just doin’ the best I can.”

“And doing it very elegantly, too,” said the smooth tongued barrister. “It isn’t fair but that happens to be life. The FA have said you have their full backing and their only complaint was that they should have been told.”

“I hope you told them otherwise,” I chipped in pouring cups of tea.

“I pointed out that she met their criteria for a previously transgendered child and who was now legally female anyway. They had little room for manoeuvre.”

“If they’d known she wouldn’t have been picked.” I was well aware of the potential danger being transgender could hold for a career. Now that she’d proven herself in battle, I hoped they’d automatically select her as she was clearly the best player on the pitch, if by no means the biggest.

We had a boy in school who was a brilliant player, became captain of the school team and it was rumoured he was being courted by several big name teams, until it came out he was gay. He rode his moped under a truck and was killed instantly. How his parents felt I wouldn’t like to say but the paper who suggested such things, a red top tabloid were lambasted by his father in a letter to the Guardian. Of course, the tabloid justified its intrusion suggesting he would become a role model to younger boys and they didn’t want dirty little poofters achieving that.

I took part in a massed burning of the newspaper after the funeral, we all felt so incensed by their insensitivity—they’d driven him to kill himself and then instead of apologising, they tried to justify their piousness. That’s like suggesting poo can smell sweet.

If anything like this happened to Danni, I would encourage Simon to destroy the paper and I’d go after the editor and journalists using Jim or others like him to find me anything I could use to damage them or reputation. I don’t care if it made me as bad as them, I would delight in dancing on their graves. I thought of Alice hanging from that tree up above Stanebury castle and determined that wouldn’t happen to one of mine, if I had to wipe out whole universes to protect them, I would. I’d lost one child, I wasn’t going to lose another if I could possibly help it.

I received a text from Stella to check my iPad. I did and Sammi sent us a clip of the vultures circling around the house. I showed it to the others, Jason went off to make a phone call. He returned drank his tea and his mobile rang. He stepped outside to take the call.

“Apparently they’re wanting to speak to the girl who scored the hat trick, that’s all.”

Danni responded, “Like hell they do.”

“If that was supposed to be John Wayne, it sounded more like Maureen O’Hara.”

“Who?” she gasped.

“An old film star from his time.”

“Oh.”

“Goodness, you do impress with your range of knowledge,” said Henry.

“Not really, my dad liked cowboy films, so I had to sit through a few of them when I was a kid always wishing I could grow up to be the leading ladies, some of them were so beautiful.”

“You are beautiful,” flattered Henry.

I smiled but deigned to respond.

“And so are all your lovely daughters, including Danielle ‘Bend it like Beckham’ Cameron.”

“You silly bugger, Henry,” I said and we all laughed.

“Your campers have dispersed,” announced Jason coming back before telling us he was leaving.

“How d’you manage that?” asked Simon who was snaffling yet another slice of cake.

“I asked the police to remove them, they duly obliged.”

“Just like that?” Simon didn’t quite do a Tommy Cooper impression.

“Uh, nearly, I pointed out that they were hunting a minor and they asked them to go and left a uniformed officer on the gate.”

“Thank you, Jason,” I said pecking him on the cheek.

“Any time,” he said smiling and blushing simultaneously. I’m sure he has a soft spot for me despite knowing my history, which baffles me. He left before Simon noticed.

“As we’re all fairly smart, I’ve booked a table at a little place I know,” said Henry.

“I’m not sure I’m that hungry, Henry, nice thought though it was.”

“Young lady?” he asked looking at Danielle.

“Yeah, I don’t mind Grampa.”

And I know doughboy over there is up for it,” he said indicating his son who was on his fourth piece of cake.

“If you’re paying, yeah. Wonder if they have any Chateau Lafite Rothschild...”

“If they do, you can pay for it yourself.”

“A pinot noir will do me,” I suggested.

“No wonder I love you, Cathy, you’re so sensible with one exception of course.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, why did you marry such a doofus?”

“So I’d have you as my father in law.” I smarmed back while Simon looked daggers at both of us. “I also happen to love him.”

“No accounting for taste, is there?” Henry fired back, “Right you girls off and powder your wotsits and I’ll call for the car...”

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Comments

And they do circle like vultures.

The slightest excuse for a bit of tittle-tattle and they'd swim through s--t to make a few bob.

They'll never change.

bev_1.jpg

You're insulting the vultures

At least vultures are part of the natural order and do an important job cleaning up messes.

When did you see folks like those coming after Danni doing any of the above?

Chuckle

littlerocksilver's picture

Champions of the quick repartee: so much wit, and so much love. Things had better work out; although nothing says that life has to be fair.

Portia

Check out the in-laws!

Rhona McCloud's picture

While men are regularly warned their prospective wife will in time resemble her mother I've never heard advice suggesting we check out Prince Charming's father. Maybe something for Cathy to bear in mind when one of her brood becomes besotted.

Rhona McCloud

When Jason called the police,

When Jason called the police, and they found out where all this was going down and who was involved, I'll bet the vast majority being led by the Chief, Inspector ran like the wind to the location, as they are all well aware of Cathy and how she responded to police personnel who she believes are all terminally stupid to start with. Janice

Henry ball busting Simon over Cathy

Julia Miller's picture

I think this is the longest running gag in this story. Henry always loves to tell Cathy to run away with him and leave his son (and Monica). Maybe at one time he was serious, but it has long since turned into a joke between them all. Henry admires and is immensely proud of both Simon and Cathy. However he gets a rise out of both when he asks (begs?) her to leave doofus and run away with him. She usually blushes and he gets a rise out of Simon as well. Monica is probably used to all of Henry’s quirks by now, so it doesn’t even bother her.