Cannon Beach is an unabashed tourist town. The City Parents - no sexism here with City Fathers, please - wisely kept the beach open to everyone, building the requisite yuppie condos far back from the shore. Come sunset you can see couples strolling hand in hand or dogs joyfully running flat out, all outlined against the sea and the setting sun. There's usually someone starting a fire from the driftwood with the family clustered close for the warmth.

What you won't see is anyone swimming; the Pacific ocean is cold! Take three steps into the water and your ankles are screaming get the heck out of here! Fortunately, when your ankles have stopped screaming and you can walk again without wincing, the City Parents have provided a multitude of little shops and boutiques to wander through.

Thus, it was no surprise to find Pete and Sheila wandering through the shops. The element of surprise was not totally lacking, however. Both Pete and Sheila were mildly surprised at how much fun they were having together. On Sheila's part, the whole thing of taking her cousin out on a date was a spur-of-the-moment whim to see if she could get a rise out of her 'mister nice guy' cousin. For Pete, it had become a torture of anticipation to spend the day with his wild-woman cousin who had figured out he was a crossdresser. Not exactly the stuff that romance novels are made of.

And yet…

Well, it would be an overstatement to say Romance Was In The Air, but there was a certain keen interest on both sides. Neither had expected that the day would be so much fun. For the past hour, the two of them had been perusing half a dozen little shops, taking a break to sit and eat some ice cream and watch the people passing by before resuming their lazy explorations.

At this point, Pete was in a quandary. They were in a clothing shop - a women's clothing shop - and Sheila was happily trying on several items and asking Pete's opinion. Pete was finding it hard to concentrate despite Sheila being an attractive woman who fully did justice to her clothing selections. While Sheila was ensconced in the changing room Pete had spotted an item on the closeout rack. Being spring in the great wide world it was now summer in the retail world. Thus the winter clothes were relegated to the cutout rack and Pete was surrounded by swimsuits and summer frocks.

While waiting for Sheila, Pete had, ever so casually, wandered over to the rack and examined a beautiful dress of blue velvet with angel sleeves and a high waistline. The bodice was embroidered and the hemline would fall just below the knee on him. And that's where Pete was imagining the dress - on him.

Yeah, it was a distraction. It was even his size, and he could afford it if he could get up the nerve to buy it.

In front of Sheila.

Yeah, it was a distraction.

"What do you think of this one, Pete?" Sheila inquired as she spun around to flare the pale violet skirt."

"Not bad. Matches your panties."

"Letch!"

"I'm not the one who was letting her underwear show. I do notice things like that."

"Have I commented on your underwear?"

"As a matter of fact, you've been talking about it all day."

"Oh, I guess I have."

"I'm getting used to it. I confess I'm a little bit jealous that you can try things on and I can only sit here and let my imagination run wild."

"If anybody else had said something like that I'd slap them silly, but I think I know where your imagination is taking you."

"Don't be too sure of that, cuz."

"You're blushing again, Pete."

"You could always try on a bikini or two."

"And what is it you want to try on?"

"Uhhh…"

"C'mon Pete. I'm getting to know you and you can't hide a thing."

"The blue velvet?"

Pete feebly waved in the general direction of the cutout rack, so Sheila went over and examined the dress.

"Not bad at all. Too bad it's the wrong size for me but it should be just about right for my cousin, eh Pete."

"Uhhh… Yes…"

"You're so decisive today. Why don't you get it for her and she can show it to me sometime."

"You wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not!

"It still seems weird."

"Pete, old buddy, you're doing your part to Keep Portland Weird. It's your civic duty!"

"Wow! I feel so patriotic."

"So wear it with a red scarf and white hose. Perfect!"

"I think my face will be enough for the red, crazy cousin."

"You're blushing again. Very feminine."

"You enjoy making me blush."

"Oh, you noticed."

"Can we get this stuff before you talk me into anything else outrageous?"

"The day is still young, cuz"

 

"Where are we going?"

"Ecola State Park."

"Ecola? That's an unfortunate name. Sort of midway between Ebola and E coli."

"It comes from the Chinook word for whale. That was long before the modern nasties were common. Turn here!"

"I don't think the town wants you to be able to find your way out once you've gotten in. That's all I've been doing is turning every hundred yards. I think I need a map."

"You're thinking like a girl again. First shopping, now a map. No man I ever met actually asked for a map."

"Too bad I don't have my bra so I could wear my new dress. Does that sound as twisted as this road?"

"Don't worry, I'm getting used to the idea. That was the last turn. From now you can't go wrong."'

"On this road I may go into the woods. Is there enough room for someone going the other way to get by us?"

"Think small and stay right."

"I get the feeling that the surveyors used a snake instead of a straight edge."

"It is a bit twisty. Only a little more to go."

"Did I just see Little Red Riding Hood in the bushes?"

"I thought you didn't want to go to Grandma's house."

"I forgot. Hey look! There's a little house up ahead and not a big bad wolf in sight."

"He doesn't show up until you sneak in with out paying your five dollars to park."

"Looks just like an ATM. The State must be saving money by not paying rangers to take your money."

"Automation is everywhere, even in the middle of the woods."

"At least there's plenty of parking. I'm glad that's over."

"Feel like a rat at the end of a maze?"

"Look, just because I brought foreign cheese with me is no reason to be insulting."

"So - the cheese lies at the end of the road?

"No, the cheese lies in the cooler, along with the steak and the corn."

"Don't forget the rice salad. I've become very fond of rice."

"And you're not going to let me forget it, are you?"

"Nope."

"But why?"

"Why? Why not? I've always liked you, even before I thought you'd make a good boyfriend. You've been sweet and treat me like an intelligent person. Believe me that's not something a girl can take for granted. You were honest with me the other night on the phone when you could have denied everything. You trusted me and that doesn't happen so often."

" 'You're a nice guy.' That line is usually followed by a 'but I don't want to…' and it goes downhill from there."

"Aren't you lucky I can see through the bullshit?"

"And you're so modest, too."

"You bet your ass."

"And if I won that ass what would I do with it?"

"An interesting question. You're a creative guy, I'm sure you could come up with something."

"I'm a nice guy, I won't press my luck."

"Damn! Sometimes you can be too nice, Pete. And you've done it again. Every time we start to talk about you liking women's clothes you manage to get me talking about something else."

"Part of being a creative guy, you know. I get pretty used to hiding it, and I can't figure why you're so interested. Most people get grossed out or pissed off."

"Part curiosity, part I have a lesbian friend who does the butch thing and it sort of ties in, doesn't it. And part because I've had a crush on you for years."

"What!"

"You're not the only one with secrets."

"You had a crush? On me!"

"So I'm a sucker for cute guys. We only see each other a couple of times a year at big family things and you always seemed to be off somewhere with a book or something."

"I suppose you're right. We're the only two near in age and I was too shy to try and chat you up."

"Hah! When your Scout troop turned up at church I decided 'what the hell' and made my move. I did notice you checking out the frillies and it made me curious."

"Was I that obvious?"

"Well, the guys that I know would have been outta there in a flash - unless the frillies happened to be wrapped around a girl and then they would have been making asses of themselves trying to get them off her."

"Not a pretty picture you paint."

"You could hardly call those guys artistic."

"I'd call you a cynical bitch but I have to agree. I never could figure out guys like that, but then I'm not sure how much of a guy I am. There are times I think I should have been a girl. Then stuff happens like you kissing me and I want to be a guy."

"Jeez - I feel like a Marine. I'm gonna make a man out of you! 'Course I wouldn't want to go out with some macho military man so I'd much rather help make a girl out of you."

"The only bad part of that is you'd have to be careful about kissing me again. In all the fairy tales when the beautiful princess kisses the frog he turns into a handsome prince. That would be rather counterproductive, wouldn't it?"

"Are we going to sit here all day or are we going to have a picnic?"

"Picnic. You take the basket and I'll bring the grill and the charcoal."

It was pretty late by the time Pete dropped Sheila off. This time the kiss goodbye was no hurried peck, but an extended and enthusiastic exchange. It took a few minutes before either had their breath back.

"Uh, you didn't turn into a handsome prince." Sheila smirked.

"I don't feel much like a frog, either."

"Frogs don't kiss like that."

"Shall we try it again?"

(Dialogue wouldn't do justice to the inarticulate sounds that followed.)

"Pete? I have an idea for our next date."

"I was hoping there'd be a next date."

"It's early enough in the season that nobody should have claimed the cabin next weekend. You could bring your dress and things and I could see my other cousin."

"Uhhh…"

"Good thing it's too dark to see you blush."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Do you want me to keep the dress so you don't have to hide it?"

"Would you?"

"Sure. Pete, this is the best date I've ever been on. I'd say something like 'you're a prince' but I suppose I ought to be gender-neutral and say you're royalty or something."

"I'm flattered. I had a wonderful time and I really am glad to get to know you better. Too bad it took so long."

"I've got to go or dad is going to be flashing the lights or something like that."

"Well you've certainly set my light flashing."

"Me too. See you cuz!