Part 4 of 11

Chapter 6
Now we get to the interestin' part that I've been making you wait for. We writers need to put in some suspense so you good folks will keep on readin'. We gets back to the bedroom and it dawns on me I ain't got no clothes to wear. This little fact had dawned on Patty last night, and that wicked sense of humor I told ya's about cut in again as she hands me a pair of her panties.

Of course they didn't fit, as she has big hips and I don't. Before I know what's happenin' she's gone and comes back with a pair of Wendy's panties and next thing I know I wearin' a pair of lacy green stuff that is slippery as all getout.

"I knew you'd look cute in panties, Vito. Now what are we going to do with you?"

"I don't like that look, Patty. You's gettin' me worried."

"Heh, heh,heh."

I knew I was in big trouble with that laugh. Hell, I knew what was comin' - three girls, no clothes, she already got me in panties. I may be dumb but I'm not stupid. She was gonna have me in a dress, sure as shit.

"Vito, just be glad you're small for a man so you can fit into my clothes. You already got into my panties, so it's time to take the next step."

"Patty, you didn't have any panties on when I got into you and these things I'm wearin' belongs to Wendy."

Yeah, a fish on the hook has to wiggle around, not that it's gonna do him any good.

"I got a pair of tights that should help keep you warm, but my pants won't work on you. Want to pick out a dress, Vito?"

How could a chick that was so damn ready to show me how a man can get a woman off just a few minutes ago smile like that when she puts him in a dress? Not only that, but she thinks I could make a choice of what dress to wear. What the hell do I know about dresses except that only chicks wear them?

So I'm standin' there lookin' at her closet with not a clue and I notice that Patty is over at her dresser and rootin' around in it. She pulls out a bra and before I know what's happenin' she has it on and is bouncin' her boobies into it so they fit right. A couple of seconds later she has on some panties, but they don't match her bra. The top and bottom always matched in the porn films, so did that mean that real women didn't do that matchin' thing?

Before I could finish contemplatin' that thought, it occurred to me that every woman I've ever seen wearin' a dress was wearin' a bra under it. Oh shit! Was she goin' to…

"Hey Vito!" she says. "You're going to need this first." and she tosses a bra to me.

Oh shit! I ain't never even had a chance to take a bra off a woman yet and now she wants me to wear one? How the hell do you put the thing on? I just watched her do it and it looked like it wasn't so hard, but she's been practicin' for years.

"Do I have to?" I whined.

"Don't be a baby. If you're going to wear my dresses then what's the big deal about wearing my bra?"

"Patty, I'm a guy!"

"I noticed, and I intend to have you prove it later on, but unless you want to stay naked until the cops get here you're going to have to wear a dress. Besides, I bet we can make you into a pretty good looking lady before the storm is over. Think of it as you own personal Pygmalion."

"Pig what?"

"Pygmalion. What the heck did you learn in school?"

"As little as possible. School sucks."

"Honey, school may suck, but you have the potential to be a championship sucker in bed. You got a very talented tongue."

I can't believe women could talk like that!

"Pygmalion was a play about making a proper British Woman out of a low-class flower girl. You could be quite a lady if you put your mind to it."

"Why the hell would I want to do that?"

"How about the cops are looking for you because they think you murdered two people. Think that's a good enough reason to wear a dress and be my roommate? The cops are looking for some punk kid, not a girl. Call it a disguise, OK?"

"Patty, you're crazy if you think anyone is gonna think I'm a girl, even in these damned pink bunny pajamas."

"Vito, if you're going to be a lady you're going to have to clean up your language a bit. No, I take that back, you're going to have to clean up your language a lot. A lady who talks like you is going to stand out and you don't want to be attracting any extra attention."

"No sh… Uh, OK?"

"So let's see if you can put on a bra by yourself."

"Is this a test?"

"First lesson in Lady 101. I can show you how to cheat on your lesson if you want."

"Hey - should the teacher be encouragin' cheating?"

"Only if the student is good in bed. So take the bra and pass it around your back and then snap it together on your belly."

"OK."

Those little buggers were hard to line up. I'd get one snapped and by the time I got the next one lined up the first one had come undone. What the f… No, what's with this thing? Eventually the snaps were all snapped.

"You're getting the idea, now turn it around and put your arms in the straps.

"It's awful tight."

"Let me adjust it, your shoulders are bigger than mine. Better?"

"How would I know?"

"I guess you wouldn't. Give it time and we'll see. Now, pick out a dress while I get some things from the kitchen. Find one with a high neckline since you don't have your own breasts."

Now why did she take a pair of pantyhose with her? No time to wonder, I needed to find a dress. The first one that caught my eye was nice, but it had a plungin' neckline. Not that I knew it was called that when all this happened, but even I could see that a lot of boob would hang out of that dress. Maybe Patty would want to wear it sometime.

About now you gotta be wonderin' just why I would be so easy about puttin' a bra on and seriously lookin' for a dress to wear. I mean, what seventeen-year-old guy is gonna ever do something as stupid as that? I couldn't have admitted it back then, but the answer was simple.

Sex.

As if there is ever anything simple about sex. Ya gotta realize that I had just had sex with a woman for the first time in my life. A woman who I was sure was the most experienced sex goddess on the planet. All I knew about sex before that was going solo with one of Pops' magazines in the bedroom. I now knew that was chicken shit compared to the real thing.

In other words, I woulda done any damn thing she wanted me to just so long as I could be in bed with her again. If she'd told me to crawl back up through the hole in the ceiling and go check out the scene of the crime I just mighta done it. I didn't know the word back then, but my hormones was crusin' through my bloodstream with tiny little outboard motors on 'em and heading straight to what was left of my brain.

I was her sex slave. Whatever Patty wants Patty gets.

I finally found somethin' green (it would match Wendy's panties) so I figured it would work. By this time I was realizin' I had to pee again, so I just put the damn dress on and went to the bathroom. Actually, it was a lot easier to use the pot in a dress, but I figured I should sit down to do it if I was goin' to make like a lady.

When I got back to the bedroom, Patty was there and so was Wendy. Wendy was tryin' hard not to laugh as Patty pulled out the front of my dress and put a ball of somethin' into my bra. She repeated it on the other side and I just kinda bounced my titties around like I had just seen Patty do until things felt right.

"What are those things?" I asked.

"Rice inside some old cutoff pantyhose. A trick we girls use when nature doesn't cooperate fast enough."

"You fake your boobs?"

"Doesn't everyone?"

"How would I know. You guys have the first boobs I've ever seen."

"You were right, girl. He does have possibilities. You planning on keeping him barefoot and pregnant, though?"

What! Pregnant? Oh shit! I never thought to ask if Patty was on the pill.

"Uh Patty?"

"Yes, Vito."

"I… Uh… Jeez, this is hard. Are you on the pill? I shoulda asked before we…"

"You're safe, Vito. You won't become the world's first father with his own boobs."

"My Pops would kill me for doing it without making sure. I wasn't thinking."

"Neither was I, but I knew I was safe before I seduced you."

"Jeez - some murderer you are," carps Wendy. "Worrying about getting her pregnant. Those cops got to be nuts."

"I just want to have them figure out I didn't do it and Slim is a godd... lousy liar."

"What size shoe do you wear, Vito?" asks Patty, confusing me further.

"An eight."

"Patty, we can't keep calling him Vito when he looks like that."

"You may be right. I know - how about Eliza? We were just talking about Pygmalion."

"You feel like an Eliza, Vito?"

"What does an Eliza feel like?" I asks.

Damned if she didn't grab my ass!

"Bout like that. Hi Eliza, welcome to the madhouse."

Before I knew what was happening, I was wearin' a pair of tights and some leather boots that come up to my knees. A fuckin' fashion plate.

Oh right - I can't say that any more. The hardest job may be to learn to keep my mouth clean. If I manage I bet Momma would be very happy.

What am I saying? If my Momma saw me now she's shit her britches.

I ain't never gonna learn!
 

Chapter 7
I thought they had finished with me, but I was very sadly mistaken. Pops always says it's impossible to figure out women, and I suppose the last little while proves him right. Actually, I hope he's right cuz if I'm gonna be a woman maybe the cops won't figure out what I'll do next.

We look out the window and still can't see the other side of the street. This is one major blizzard. Good thing the girls had stocked up when the weather warnings started. I'm glad I found a warm place to settle down. Who would have thought it when a day ago I was bustin' my way into a bank vault? Wendy turns on the TV - just three on-air channels back then and the girls couldn't afford cable - and tune in the soaps. No choice, soaps on all three channels.

Patty puts a big towel on the couch and sits me on it, then wraps a towel around me. She starts to play with my hair and next thing I know my nose is itchin' with all the little hairs she's clippin' off my head.

"I'm glad you don't have short hair. I'd have to make you look butch. Makes my life easier and makes you look better."

"That's cuz I hate to spring for a haircut. The barber keeps wanting me to get a buzz cut so I'll look like a godd… lousy Marine. I'm just glad they gave up that stupid war in Nam and I don't have to actually be a Marine. Maybe being a girl will keep me out of that… nonsense."

Pretty soon I feel a mist as she squirts my hair with somethin' from a spray bottle.

"Just water, Liza. No magic potions yet. That comes later when I get you into the salon. You have very nice hair, lady."

Lady? Is this what actors refer to as immersin' themselves in a character? One of my cousins does that stuff with an amateur theater group and is always talkin' about all the people he's been. I guess me bein' someone else is a great idea just now. Bein' part of a really big family can have its advantages. So OK, I'm a lady.

"I just wish we could get to the salon, Liza. There's a lot that I could do for you. The first day we can get out again you really need a waxing."

"I do?"

What the hell is a waxing? I don't want to sound too dumb so I just let her chatter on. I figure sometime she'll start makin' sense again, so I just space out and let her do her thing.

"Ouch! What the hell did you do?"

"Language, Liza."

"OK, Please tell me what did you did to my face."

"Better. Plucked your eyebrow. You'll have to tough it out so you look more feminine."

"Just what I've always dreamed of."

"I'm the girl that makes dreams come true. I bet you were dreaming about what we did this morning, weren't you Liza?"

"Well, Vito was, anyways."

"So sit still and let me give you sensual eyebrows."

I sat still and tried not to whimper too much. It didn't hurt all that much once I was ready for it, it was more surprise than pain that made me complain. On the tube some lady is pitchin' a fit about some doctor who got her pregnant. I guess I won't have to worry about that when I'm a lady.

"Hey Wendy, you got any more of those ribbons in your room?"

"Sure. I think I even have a couple of them that will compliment the dress."

"Great. Go get them."

Now what? I'm afraid to ask.

"Jenny, can we borrow that copper necklace you have?"

"Sure. I hardly wear it anymore."

And off Jenny goes. I try to figure out why the scruffy guy on the tube is rantin' at the dude in a suit, but he isn't makin' much sense. Sort of like what's happenin' to me. Maybe I can get a job on TV. I got experience in not makin' any sense.

"One more thing and we'll have it all. Wendy, I need your sewing kit, Jenny, I need an ice cube. Liza, sit here and I'll be back."

Now what? A godd... crappy scavenger hunt?

The three girls returned grinnin' like fools. I suddenly feel Jenny's hands on my head, pressin' it into her boobs. Now this I could get used to. Next thing I knew Wendy was stickin' an ice cube on my ear. Hot boobs, cold ears. It didn't make any more sense than anythin' else that was happening that day.

Next thing I was sure my ear was goin' to crack off because it was frozen, instead I felt a sting and Patty starts tuggin' my earlobe and doin' God knows what. Then they did the same thing on the other side. Whatever they were doing, at least I would be balanced. That's a pretty good trick because I was gettin' convinced I was completely unbalanced to be doin' this.

Maybe to make up for whatever they did I suddenly had an angel nibblin' on each of my ears, thawin' them out. I closed my eyes and went with the flow, as the hippies say. All good things must end, and Patty was squirtin' Bactine on my ears. Bactine - the stuff you use on cuts? Were they cuttin' my ears?

Oh shit! To hell with the language.

"You pierced my ears, didn't you?" I scream.

"Congratulations, you're a girl now."

I was gettin' the feelin' that Slim had murdered Vito with his lies, not Jimmy and the cop with his gun. Was I ever goin' to be able to be me again?

"Come on, Liza, you need to see what you look like."

With one girl on each arm and the third pushin' from behind I was escorted with my eyes closed to Jenny's room where she had a full length mirror. I got pushed around a bit and told to open my eyes.

"Jesus Christ on a crutch!"

"Language, Liza."

I didn't know it then, but I was gonna be damn sick of hearin' 'Language Liza' before too long.

There were four girls in that mirror. Four. Me and three others. My hair was tied up in two of those pokey-up ponytails you see on little girls, and each one had a yellow ribbon wrapped around it. There was no way a boy would have his hair cut like mine was and there were silver balls stickin' out of my ears.

"Think the police will be able to identify you now, Liza? Wendy asks, triumphantly.

"My own mother wouldn't know me - and I'm awful glad of that."

"Once we can get out of here again we'll have to work on getting you your own wardrobe. Too bad you didn't finish robbing that bank."

"Yeah. At least Jimmy made us all have three hundred bucks in getaway money in case things went sour. I can help you girls with rent and such for a little while anyway."

"That's great, but clothes first. If you want to be our roommate you need your own clothes."

"You're going to have to help me, I don't have a clue."

"No problem, we're shopping queens."

"Experts at the trade."

"No bargain left behind!"

"We forgot something, girls," sez Jenny.

"What did we forget?" they asks.

"Nails!"

"Of course!" crows Patty and goes inta the bedroom. Next thing I know she's filin' away at my nails and bitchin' about how crappy they look. Who ever heard of a guy worryin' about how his godd… his fingernails looked? She finishes with my hands and then she tells me to take off the boots and tights. She just got me to put them on and now she wants me to take them off. Girls just can't make up their minds!

So there I am sittin' with my foot in her lap and wonderin' if I've gone insane when the doorbell rings and someone starts knockin' on the door. That sez only one thing to a guy - I mean gal - like me: Cops.

"Stay sat down and don't say any more than you have to," Patty tells me. "Your voice needs work. And for God's sake stay sat - you still walk like a man!"

I walk like me! Who else would I walk like? No time to ask now. Wendy opens the door and sure enough, there was a cop standin' there. He was a young cop, I can tell you now he weren't bad lookin' but ya couldn'ta got me to say that with red-hot brandin' irons back then. Besides, he was a damned cop! He sees me gettin' my toes painted and he looks real embarrassed.

"Excuse me ma'am, but you may have heard there was a crime over in the next building yesterday and we're asking if everyone in the area can help us find the guy who got away."

"Oh my! How exciting? What happened?"

"A gang tried to break into the bank vault and when we caught them they started shooting. I'm afraid two people are dead and we think the one we're looking for is armed and considered dangerous. If you have any idea where he might be please do not approach him, just let us know."

"That sounds bad, officer. We've all been here stuck by the snow since yesterday noon and haven't seen any men around at all. Just us four girls."

"If you see anything suspicious please let us know. We want to make sure the murderer is off the streets and in a cell so he can't do it again."

"I hope you find the right man and he gets what's coming to him. Good luck, officer."

"You ladies stay safe and keep warm, then."

"Thanks, officer." and Patsy closed the door. She practically collapsed with her back to the door in relief.

At least I hadn't become so girly that I fainted, but it was a close thing.