“This year, I want to come out to my friends. I’ve been hiding who I am for so long, and I just can’t bear to keep pretending.”

As those words leave my lips, a shining star in the night sky seems to shine even brighter. And brighter. And brighter. The star shines so bright that it blinds me. I hold my hand over my eyes, and avert my eyes from the light. For a second, I see a woman in the corner of my vision. And she speaks to me.

“Poor girl, I am the Angel in the Light. I am here to help young trans girls such as yourself. I shall grant your wish.”

Next thing I know, I wake up on the floor.

“A dream?” I mutter. I don’t know what the heck that was all about, but obviously women don’t just appear from lights to grant wishes, so it must have been a dream.

I get up, and brush the cat hair off of my shirt and pants. Clearly SOMEONE was using me as a bed while I was knocked out on the floor. Bebe the cat seems to be elsewhere right now, but as soon as she realizes I’m awake, I’m sure she’ll come running over.

My clothes aren’t the only thing that needs a good brushing. My hair is a mess. I’ve let it grow out these past few months, despite complaints from my parents. It’s down to my shoulders now, but even though I like it better long than short, it still has no style. I’m not out as trans to anyone, including my parents, so I can’t exactly style it in a cute, feminine haircut.

As I’m battling my hair, Bebe comes zooming into my room, and rubs herself on my legs. I pause to pick her up and give her some kisses, before returning to the battle at hand. Once the hair is about as good as it’s gonna get, I feed Bebe really quick, then make breakfast for myself. My parents seem to have already left for work, leaving me on my own. I double check that they’re away before changing into a skirt and crop top, then sitting down for breakfast. I’ve got about an hour or so in the morning where I can dress as I like, plus most of the evening after school, but eventually, I have to get ready for school, then head out.

The day seems like any other, but I’m very anxious for one big reason. I promised myself that I would come out as trans to my friends today. Well, not strictly today, I promised myself that it would be this year, but I feel as if there’s something pushing me to tell them today. Maybe it’s that Angel in the Light girl that I dreamt of. Regardless of the reason, I want to do it.

Unfortunately, I chicken out. And as the week goes by, I can’t bring myself to come out to them. And maybe that’s for the best, because as I’m approaching the lunch table on Friday, I hear them laughing at something on someone’s phone. It seems that a trans woman went on some kind of rant against some bigot, and they’re all laughing at her. She doesn’t pass, and she’s really angry. I don’t know the entire story, but it doesn’t really matter. I learned today that my friends will laugh at faggots like me.

I’m down for the rest of the day. I don’t really talk to any of my friends, and I pass on hanging out with them after school. I tell them that I’m in charge of dinner tonight, which is true, and have to go shopping for some ingredients. That isn’t true, as we’ve always got a well stocked fridge. Regardless, I want to get away from my friends for now.

As I walk out of the grocery store with a bag full of groceries, a cute girl waving a flyer comes jogging over towards me. She seems to be about my age, 16, though I’ve never seen her at school. She’s cute, so I go ahead and take a flyer, though I don’t really bother looking at it until I get home. I put the groceries down on the table, then finally take a look at the flyer.

“ALIVE Queer Cafe! Come join us for our grand opening!”

I’m sure that the kids at school would kill me if they saw me at a queer cafe. I fold the flyer up, and stick it in my pocket for now, then start preparing dinner. Later, after eating dinner alone, and putting away leftovers for my parents, I head up to my room, and check the place out online.

ALIVE has a social media presence, despite only just really starting. It seems that the name is an acronym standing for Ace Lesbian Inclusive Variety Entertainment. They’re a queer cafe that also has performances such as drag shows or singers. It kind of sounds interesting. Of course, I couldn’t possibly go. Or could I?

I think about the clothes I’ve got stashed in my closet, and consider how my parents seem to always be working. If I could get a wig and makeup, I could actually go to this place without anyone finding out. I check out some wigs and makeup from some local stores, and purchase them with same-day delivery. I hide them when they arrive, as my parents will be home relatively soon. But starting tomorrow, Saturday, I can try them on, and head down for ALIVE’s grand opening. For now, though, the front door is opening, so I finish up hiding stuff, and head down to greet my parents.

After a near-sleepless night, I wake up early and lay in bed listening to my parents go through their morning routine. Shower. Breakfast. Running out the door. The car starting off and driving away. I glance out the window to make sure they’re gone, check their room to make sure they didn’t leave behind anything they might come back for, then start getting ready.

Makeup. I’ve watched plenty of videos about it, so in THEORY, I know what to do. In practice, it doesn’t go quite as planned. I wipe the makeup off my face multiple times, spending over two hours trying over and over again, before finally coming up with something that looks different enough from my regular face, but also doesn’t make me look like a clown.

Wig. I’ve played around with my hair a bit, so I kind of know what I’m doing here. I can’t do complex hairstyles, but I stick with a ponytail and some bangs, which is one of my favorite hairstyles. I take more time working on my hair than I would like, but it isn’t nearly as much time spent on that as with the makeup.

Finally, my clothes. I don’t have a whole lot of different clothes, but I have a few choices. I opt for a black short sleeve skater dress with pockets, black thigh highs, sneakers, and a choker. I also stuff my bra and tuck down below.

With all of that, I’m ready to head out now. I duck into my car in the garage, and drive away. Thankfully my house is at the end of a small street so I have very few neighbors, most of which don’t know me. I don’t think anyone notices me even leave.

Moments later, I’m on the other side of town, parking my car a few blocks from the cafe. Just incase anybody I know happens to be around, I don’t want them to see my car by a queer cafe. Of course, how many people really pay attention to that? I’m just trying to be as cautious as I can.

I walk over to the cafe. There are a few cars in the parking lot, and I see one person walking in as I approach. There’s the girl I met yesterday out front, welcoming everyone, full of energy. She sees me approach and jumps up and down, waving at me.

“Hi! Welcome to ALIVE Queer Cafe!”

The girl is wearing a rainbow apron over a black skirt and white long sleeve top. I notice that her nails are also painted in the color of the trans pride flag. Her nametag reads Lesley, and has her pronouns, she/her.

“Thanks,” I say to her.

“We’re very glad that you came to our grand opening! We hope to be a welcoming place for all queer people! Oh! More customers! Pardon me!”

She goes running off to welcome more people who are walking in. I stare at her for a few seconds. She’s tall, has long fingers, and has a visible Adam’s apple. Clearly she’s trans, but other than some tells that aren’t really super obvious, she looks like a girl. Is it rude of me to pick up on that?

I turn away from her, and walk into the cafe. There’s a decent crowd for this time of day, but there’s still plenty of empty tables that I can sit on. To one side of the cafe is a stage for their performances. A board near the stage lets me know that there will be a performance in just an hour. An idol performance, at that. I figure that I ought to stay at least long enough to check that out.

As I wait for the performance, I decide to get a coffee from the cafe. They offer a cup of milk coffee and a slice of cake for a decent price, so I get that.

“For a cute girl like you, I’ll add a free cookie,” the girl at the counter tells me, winking. She seems to be a little bit older than me, with an undercut. She’s wearing the same uniform as the girl outside. Her nametag reads Gigi she/they.

“Thanks,” I say. She giggles at how shy I seem, and tells me to ask for her if I come back for more later.

I sit down and slowly sip at the coffee and nibble at the cake, until the idol show begins. The lights of the cafe dim, and a spotlight is shone on the stage. Then the peppy girl from earlier hops onto the stage and starts waving at the crowd. There are a few cheers, but mostly people are just watching silently, including myself. She’s wearing a puffy idol dress now, as opposed to her uniform.

“Hello! My name is Lesley and I use she/her pronouns! I hope you’ll enjoy my performance!”

Some music comes on, and Lesley takes her spot on stage. She dances and sings with incredible skill. I can only imagine how much time she must have spent practicing.

“That song was from the Pretty Series!” she says once the song dies down. The crowd seems to have come alive a bit, and plenty of people clap and cheer for her. “Thank you, thank you! I’ve got more songs for you, so stay right there! Or, better yet, how about you come up and dance along with me! Don’t worry if you don’t know the moves, you can just copy me or even just dance however you want! Have fun! That’s the point of all of this!”

One of the workers at the cafe, an older man with long white hair, along with a few kids, go up in front of the stage and dance along as the next song starts up. The old guy, George, seems to be having a blast, and though he doesn’t have the fluid movements that Lesley has, he seems to know the choreography. The kids just dance wildly, but they have plenty of fun.

After the song ends, Lesley plays up to the audience once more. “Are we all gonna let an old man like George beat you? Sorry George, love you! Come on! Can we have some adults or teens come up and dance? What about you? You’re cute!” She points at me, and I can feel dozens of eyes focused on me. I shrink in my seat.

Lesley hops down from the stage, and skips over to me. She takes my hands in hers, and winks at me. “What do you say?”

“I can’t dance…” I mutter.

“Everyone can dance! Don’t worry about looking silly or not knowing the moves! Just have fun!”

I let her pull me up from my seat, and lead me towards the stage. A few more tentative dancers join me in front of the stage, alongside George and some kids. Gigi, the girl working the counter, rushes up to dance, too.

I wish I could say something positive about my dancing. I have no rhythm, no idea how the choreography is supposed to work, and I don’t have any stamina. Thankfully, with Gigi there, I’m not the worst dancer on the floor. I’m a close second, though.

As we dance, Gigi moves over to me, and takes my arm. She spins me around, and dips me. She leans in close, and whispers, “Thanks for being a good sport. I’ll be sure to give you some more cookies on the house. And my number, if you want.”

She winks at me, then lets me go, and returns to dancing alone.

Lesley calls her out once she finishes her song. “Gigi, I’ve seen you flirting with so many girls today, have you ever considered just taking it easy?”

“Hell no!” Gigi laughs.

Lesley sighs and shakes her head. “Well. Whatever, then. Just don’t forget to flirt with me later! Anyhow, that’s it for my songs for now, I hope you all enjoyed!”

The crowd cheers. I’m shaking a bit from anxiety, plus huffing for breath after all of that physical effort. I’ve never used up so much energy outside of P.E. class.

George walks up to me as I return to my seat. “Sorry that Lesley dragged you up there. I’m the owner here, so I have to take some responsibility for her.”

“She’s… unique,” I tell him.

He laughs at that. “Yes, she certainly is! She’s got some much needed pep. I don’t know if I could do any of this without her.”

“This place seems nice,” I tell him. “You’ve done a good job making a fun place.”

“Oh, why, thank you!”

As we’re talking, a little girl wearing the uniform runs up to him, and hands him a plate of cookies.

“Ah, these must be the cookies that Gigi promised you,” he says, laying the plate on the table. The little girl, who seems to be maybe 6 or 7, hides behind the old man. “Thank you, Laura. Do you want to say hi to the kind girl?”

Laura shakes her head.

George laughs. “Ah, that’s alright. This is my granddaughter, Laura. Her mother left her to me not long after she started showing signs of being transgender. And that sent me down into a whole new world that I wasn’t familiar with. For my granddaughter, and for all queer folk out there, I want to make sure that I make a safe place where they can feel welcomed.”

“That’s really nice,” I tell him. “I haven’t told anyone about me yet, and I’ve heard my friends say some really nasty things about trans people.”

He shakes his head. “I had hoped that things like that would die out with your generation. Lord knows my generation is causing enough trouble with anti-trans legislation. But I suppose age doesn’t matter when it comes to this, huh? My cafe has adults and teens working here, not to mention myself and my granddaughter. People just need to have an open mind, be kind, be willing to learn. Ah, but hear me rambling on! Feel free to return any time, we’ll be happy to have you.” He holds his hand out to shake my hand. As I shake, he gives me a look, seemingly expecting something.

I blink.

“Name?” he asks.

“Oh. Shit.” I don’t really have a name, not like this. “Bebe,” I say, giving him the name of my cat.

“What a cute name! A pleasure to meet you, Bebe.”

With that, he returns to work, and I start to work on the plate of cookies. Hidden beneath the cookies is a piece of paper with a phone number, and the name Gigi. I pull my phone out of my dress pocket, and put the number in. As I’m doing that, Lesley rushes over, having now changed back into her work uniform.

“I’ve been ordered to apologize!” she shouts out as she approaches.

“It’s fine,” I tell her.

She bows her head. “I’m sorry, I won’t drag you away again!” She then looks at the piece of paper on the table. “Oh! Gigi actually gave you her number! Jeez! I can’t believe I let her beat me! Hold on!”

Lesley pulls out a notepad used for taking orders, rips out a page, and writes something down on it. She then hands me the paper. It’s her number.

“Now Gigi and I are even! Feel free to call me some time, and I’ll make up for what I did today!”

“I almost feel like this was planned.”

“What? No! Totally not planned! I don’t plan anything! I’m constantly being berated for that.”

“Okay. Well, either way, you’re cute, so I’ll be sure to text you some time.”

“Yeah, totally! I gotta get back to work, but I hope to see you again soon! You know, here, or outside of work… Anything is fine!”

I look down at the two pieces of paper in front of me. Not one, but TWO cute girls has given me her number today. And the owner seemed really nice. My friends may not be welcoming if I come out as trans, but here, I’m free to be who I really am. I can be… a girl named after my cat…. Well, that’s kind of embarrassing, but maybe I’ll come up with a better name later.

Maybe this place was a gift from the angel? I might not have come out to my friends, but here, I can befriend a whole new group of people who are vocally pro trans. Or, hell, maybe even become more than friends with one of them. Who knows?