I thought finally back to Monterey and a chance to lounge around for a dozen days before setting off for yet another hemisphere.... but apparently a starlet's work is never done.

“Change of plans!” Dennis beamed, putting away his phone as we walked to the Jet Ranger for the hop to Monterey.

“You're not the boss of me!” I yelled at him as I stopped dead in my tracks and folded my arms in a petulant pose.

Dennis looked stunned. He stopped walking too and turned to stare at me. I don't think he knew what to do. This was not the reaction I was expecting. I felt like the little kid who jumped out and yelled 'boo!' and ended up giving her dad a heart attack.

I quickly bumped him with my shoulder and grinned “Jeez! Lighten up.... OK, you're not the boss of Katherine, but we both know I'm totally your bitch!”

“Yeah, RIGHT!” he snorted and resumed walking. “...may I speak now?....” he smiled.

Putting on my best imperious demeanor I replied “very well.... you may...”

He grabbed my wrist playfully. “What I was going to say was that your agent and the studio were delighted with how well the negotiations went. They're especially delirious over some new projects you proposed?” and he raised an eyebrow at me. I just blushed and looked away.

“Anyway... they wanted to say 'thank you' ...so we're not going right home.”

“Some thank you... I was looking fo...”

“Michael and I will be going to San Francisco....”

“Wait... they're giving you guys a holiday to say...”

“And YOU will be spending a luxurious week being pampered at Auberge du Soleil in Napa Valley. Courtesy of Sierra Films and Museworks Motion Pictures!”

I just stared at him blankly. I'm going to be WHAT.... WHERE?....

“Napa girl!” Dennis looked at me like 'what planet are you from?' Then he remembered. Planet OZ.

“It's God's country, sweetie... well, at least if the god was Dionysus...” he chuckled at his own joke.

“Oh sure, your cousin and I will be having a fine old time in San Fran.... but you... you will be out of your mind with bliss!.... Child, they are going to pamper you rotten. I can't say I'm not feeling a touch of the green monster right now...”

“Herman Munster?” I replied deadpan.

Dennis just playfully slapped me on the shoulder. “Girl, you are so funny!....” Rats. He so knows me.

“So I don't have any choice in this week of mandatory pampering?”

“Why would you want to??? This is prime! What did you do back at that meeting? They're never this generous.... the most Katherine ever got was a gift basket.”

I just shrugged.

“Well, obviously you did fine... better than fine... and don't even think about not going to Napa. I will not hear of you not letting them pamper the shit out of you. Girl, you earned it. From the premiere through the tour... getting even with that lecherous old creep.... the things you've done for Katherine's career...” He stopped and gazed at me warmly for an uncomfortably long time... almost 'Keller long'.... and he said quietly “...the things you've done for Katherine....” then he grinned “just shut up and be pampered ….bitch.” And he reached over and hugged me to his side as we walked up to the Jet Ranger to head to our new destinations.

OK. Heavenly doesn't begin to describe it. It was beyond words. Yes, of course Dennis was right. I needed to do this. And I really needed to do this. I thought I had been relaxed before, but I was so relaxed now, I wouldn't have been surprised if my body just evaporated into a warm foggy mist.... The best word I can find is 'bliss' and that doesn't begin to do it justice. At that moment, I was so grateful to be Katherine Keller, blissed out pampered starlet, that I couldn't imagine being my old self.

Which of course immediately snapped me out of my reverie. Funny how fleeting nirvana is.

I was walking trancelike through the bonsai garden when I heard a very un-mellow voice squeal “Kaykay????” In hindsight, I should have fled, but instead I turned to look.

This bubbly young blonde, athletic and tall … well at least by conventional standards... she was probably 5' 11” which put her up to about my chin... bounded across the bonsai garden and looked up at me like an eager puppy.

Oh crap.

“Kaykay! It is you!!!! ...What's the matter?”

I was really perplexed and beginning to panic. This was obviously someone Katherine knew, but I had no idea how to bluff my way through this. I just tried to seem incredibly zen.... blissed out and glassy eyed.... which I guess I actually had been until moments before. I tried to put myself back into that state. Or at least the physical appearance, if not the actual mental state. I smiled at her beatifically and as glassy eyed as I could. I stared with joy and welcome. I did NOT stare with any hint of recognition. To my amazement, this seemed to work.

“Kaykay! ...it's me... Ani! ….Analise Fiore?.... Remember? We met in the spaceship???”

I had a really hard time maintaining my blissed-out demeanor after that outburst. My old reflexes returned and I wanted nothing more than to bolt from this maniac. I fought the impulse and remained calm (appearing).... so she blathered on.

“....Burning Man? … was it two... oh, shit... maybe three years ago? ….Ani! ….Avenging Ani?..... Remember what you did when naked bicycle guy would not leave me alone?... You must..... oh, shit.... we both did a lot of peyote... and then you got those shrooms.... but still.... how can you not....?” Her face turned into the saddest pout..... “....Ani?....” she said meekly in this insecure little girl voice. She was killing me.

“Ani.” I said without expression and retaining my blissed out demeanor.

“Ani!!!!” she beamed. “Yes!” her energy began to rebuild to its earlier exuberance. “We had so much fun until you left with those bikers.....” she faltered for a moment, then regrouped. “So... how have you been????”

I thought 'there must be a rule about being this animated at a meditation spa. Aren't there bouncers or someone to throw her perky ass out?' apparently not, because she just kept going on like a dervish on crystal meth. Still, it was a good thing, because she just kept chattering a mile a minute, talking up a hurricane of information. I didn't have to worry about anything Katherine could know about her or our 'combined history' because she just prattled on about it all.

I would never again roll my eyes at my cousin Mikey and his enthusiasm. This girl made him look like Ben Stein.

Apparently 'Ani and KK' were ...total besties... at least the way she told it.

Trying to translate from Ani-speak, it seems Katherine kind of rescued Ani from some overly attentive creepy naked guy on a home-made velocipede. I'm not sure from Ani's surreal story exactly what Katherine did to scare him away, but it sounded like another tale of Katherine saving a kitten from a coyote. I was beginning to see a pattern here. Her run in with the creepy old artist, spiriting his soon-to-be-ex-muse away, and some of the other things Dennis mentioned to me about various folks at Casa Keller. Although it seems that in this case, Katherine merely saved her and set her free.

Only she wouldn't go away. From her telling, it sounded like two best friends having wild adventures at Burning Man, but I could easily see how it could be Katherine trying to shake off her new acquaintance who just would not take a hint.

I was beginning to understand how she felt. Suddenly my 'bestie' and I were inseparable... no matter how hard I tried to lose her.

My usual recourse would be to just uncork a heaping dose of that infamous 'Keller Crazy', but something told me that would only bond her tighter.

So, Ani & KK were joined at the hip, almost literally. Ani seemed to have a different concept of 'personal space' than most people did. She stayed close. I mean, feel-her-breath, hair-on-your-arms-standing-up-and-brushing-her close. This could easily rattle the most easygoing person, but I refused to let her odd quirks get to me. I remained zen. I tried – and failed – to imagine how Katherine dealt with this. But it did go a long way to explaining Katherine high-tailing it out with members of a motorcycle club... not something I would normally tag as typical Katherine behaviour.

I had to find a way to ditch Ani while staying in character as Katherine.

I had come for a week of massage and meditation, rest and serenity. Instead, I had acquired a hyperactive events coordinator and was trying to get off the wine country version of Mr Toad's Wild Ride.