Alexa Chapter 34: Mondays

God, I hate Mondays! I always have. I think everyone does. Getting back into the grind of everyday life was never any fun, but today was even worse. The events of the previous night cast a pall over not only my feelings but most of the state. Sure, the Vikings lost yet another NFC Championship, we were used to it. But the way they lost was so unlike the way the team had played all season was confounding. Add to that the sheer joy that had been created from the ‘Minneapolis Miracle’ the week prior, and the pain was deep. And to top it all off, the Super Bowl was to be played in OUR stadium. This loss may prove to be even more painful then some of the past.

It was with this dark cloud hanging over Minnesota that I began the week. The only good thing was that Jenny was holding me as I started to boot up my systems. I slowly pried myself from her arms and made my way to the bathroom to begin the week. After the morning rituals, I returned to the room to find Jenny just waking up. The smile she gave me was of sympathy and she waved me over to the bed. “It will be OK babe. “I leaned my head on her shoulder.

‘I know but still it sucks!” I announced. Jenny kissed the top of my head before I wiggled away from her and went to get dressed. As I was pulling a turtleneck over my head, I happened to glance out the window. “Holy crap” I yelled out. Jenny, who had made her way to the bathroom, asked what was happening. “It is snowing pretty good. I didn’t think we were supposed to get this much.” I said. I hurriedly finished and raced to the living room to turn on the TV to see what was going on. It was there I heard that we were in line for about 8 inches of snow. I was shocked. They had said maybe four inches of snow, but not this much! I got a bit excited, hoping that they would cancel class, a rarity, but still a possibility given the conditions.

I waited as long as I could to see if anything came up about classes being canceled. With nothing being said, I wrapped myself up to traverse the expansive University campus to go to my Senior Sem. As I entered the lecture hall, I noticed only about half of my class there. My ‘pal’ Noah and his friends were nowhere to be seen. Probably still recovering from drowning their sorrows last night. Macy was there and a few others but barely half the class was in attendance. Dr. Braylon was not impressed by the attendance and his attitude was not good. “Just because it is snowing does not mean class is canceled! You people nowadays are so lazy! He carried his anger for those missing into his lecture. Any time anyone questioned the professor on a point he practically snapped. Macy and I almost ran out of class. We both tried to assign Dr. Braylon’s attitude to it being a Monday. As we were talking after class, Macy got a text.

“Yes!” she exclaimed. “My Modern American Lit class is canceled.” Her smile contrasted sharply to the frown that had come across my face. She looked a bit sheepishly me as she apologized. “I’m sorry Alexa, but I could use some time off.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“What? Don’t worry about it. Figures I would have class and you wouldn’t. You know why?” We smiled at each other before yelling out.

“It’s Monday!” We shared another laugh before we went our separate ways. Macy out into the ever-increasing snow storm and me down the hall to Irish Lit. I made my way down to my usual seat and began checking my email. I received a few messages of condolences from friends over the game. One of which came from Stuart Milton that simply stated, “What the hell happened?” I sighed as I read it. I had met Stuart, his beautiful wife and their infant daughter when we were in England last fall. He and several of his friends had gone to the Viking game with us and had been seduced by the Purple. I almost felt sorry for him as I read his email. It must be hard for a new fan to fathom what had happened. I simply replied “Welcome to the club. We have jackets, need to get you one. Give Jamie and Oliva hugs.”

As I continued to wait, I realized that very few people were coming in. Just before the class was about to start, I got a text from Jenny. “Come meet me & Katie for lunch” I sighed because I assumed the message meant that Jenny’s class had been canceled. I replied I still had class. “What? That sucks! You must be the only one!” was her reply. I started to get a bit angry over the fact that here I was sitting in class and my roommates were taking full advantage of the snow. I sulked as Professor O’Connell took center stage and began her lecture on Joyce. What was even worse is that of the students that did show, my friend Brian was not one of them, so I was left alone, dead center of the lecture hall. Nothing to distract me and at the center of my Professor’s gaze.

Professor O’Connell took pity on us and dismissed the class a few minutes early. I quickly began my trek back to the apartment. The snow had really started to come down and the streets had become covered in several inches of the wet snow. As I stood on the corner of University and 15th Avenue waiting to cross, a bus came by and drenched me with the slush. That was it. Next to the day Dickhead found me this might be the worst day of my life. The Vikings got embarrassed, everyone but me had their classes canceled and now I was soaking wet. I don’t know if this could get any worse.

I walked into the apartment to find Jenny and Katie giggling away. Jenny attempted to say hi and I just growled. I stormed pass my two roommates and back into our room and began stripping myself of my now soaked clothing. I almost tore off Jenny’s head as she knocked to come in. “Lex, are you OK?” As Jenny wrapped her arms around me, I shrugged her away and went looking for something to change into. “What happened?” she asked. I just stared her down as I slid my jeans off.

“What happened?” I rhetorically asked her “What happened? I will tell you what happened. It’s a conspiracy! First the Vikings, then I am the only one in this whole fucking University that has class and then I get drenched by a bus! I swear someone has decided it is be cruel to Alexa-day! Fucking Mondays!” I said with my anger red-lining. “Now I get to go have my counselor grill me about all of my deepest thoughts on life. And then after that go be a hippo on skates as I try to contort my body into ways that are not natural! I think the gods are getting back at me for everything” I plopped down on the bed.

“Aww, babe” Jenny said sympathetically, trying to conceal her laughter. She wrapped her arms around me and I collapsed into her shoulder. “Its not that bad and you know it. ‘The gods’ are not trying to get back at you and you know that. We all have bad days, you are just having one of those mega bad days. It will be OK” I tried to pull myself out of the funk but was not real successful. I hurriedly changed into a pair of stretch pants and slid on my Man City hoody. In an almost dismissive tone, I told Jenny I had to go. She chased me down. She grabbed me by the shoulders and spun me around. “Hey relax will you!” she said to me. I pulled away and sat down and put on my duck boots. As I sat there I realized what an ass I was being. After I got my boots on I walked over to Jenny and shared a kiss.

“I’m sorry babe, forgive me?” I asked. A smile came to her face and she wrapped her arms around me neck and moved in for another kiss. Just before our lips met, she said.

“Well, I suppose I can forgive you.” That smile, and that kiss calmed me enough that I left the apartment with a better attitude. I still wasn’t completely out of my funk but at least I had calmed down a bit, enough that when I saw Brandon and Steve walk in I decided teasing them might help, it had in the past. This time it was dropping my keys. And once again I saw the two get confused as they tried to decide whether I was some kind of freak or a good looking woman. I laughed to myself as I made my way down to my car and braved the roads over to Debbie’s office for my weekly meeting.

As I drove down 4th Street I could see that traffic was backing up trying to get on 35W. To stay on time, I had to make a snap decision. I am not sure if it was a good idea because I wasn’t the only one who had that thought. Between the increased traffic and the snow, getting across the 10th Avenue Bridge seemed to take forever. Looking over at the 35W Bridge though convinced me I had made the right decision. It looked like nothing was moving on the freeway. As I tried to make my way on to Washington, I could hear several beeps indicating an incoming text. I ignored them as I finally pulled into the parking lot outside the building the housed the Program for Human Sexuality. As I exited the car, I noticed that the parking lot was nearly empty. As I entered the building, I bumped right into my counselor.

“Alexa? What are you doing here?” a clearly confused Debbie said as the two of us stood in between the vestibule doors. “Didn’t you get my text? We are shut down because of the storm.” I had not gotten her text or the text from Jenny. I had ignored them, so I could concentrate on driving. The fact that my meeting had been canceled seemed to put me over the top.

“Well that’s just great!” I said in frustration. “I bust my ass to get here on time and you cancel. Well just another gold star on my day. I’ll see you next week,” I turned and started to head to my car. Debbie chased me down and talked me into coming back to her office. “Why? You were on way home. I don’t want to be the reason you are sitting in traffic for two hours.” Debbie stared at me with a look that was cross between that of my mother and Katie. At that moment I felt like a little kid again. I followed Dr. Burke back into the building and up to her office.

I took off my coat and Debbie gave a little giggle. “Little casual for you Miss Quinn, but I do like the sweatshirt. Better than a red one from the same city.” I looked down and let out a sigh.

“Well I need someone to cheer for, damn Vikings.” I said as I slumped into my normal spot on the couch and began in on my session. Debbie told me she was glad I decided to stay, and we began in about how my day was going and I explained to her about the joys I had run into today. She tried to tease me a bit about it and I got a bit defensive. I told her about getting doused by the bus and she tried to stifle a laugh. I let lose with the evil look at the one woman who had been there since the beginning. She paused for a moment as I let the eye darts fly. Her expression suddenly changed.

“I need to ask you something. Is Jenny having her period or about to begin?” I looked at her as if she was nuts. I wasn’t offended that she asked such a question, more confused. What does it matter to her if Jenny was about to have her period. I told her no, that in the next few days though I would imagine. I tried to count backwards as to when her last one was and again replied that I didn’t think it was for a few days. A smile overtook the British doctors face as I sat there even more confused. “That’s it!” She said as if she just discovered something.

“That’s what?” I asked, even more confused then I was a minute ago.

“You are suffering from Pre-Menstrual Syndrome or PMS” she said with a huge smile on her face. I felt like it had finally happened. Dr. Debbie Burke had finally flipped her lid. She had gone loony. I asked her what she was talking about. She shook her head a bit and straightened herself up. “It is quite common for women who live together to slowly have their cycles occur simultaneously. Well, for the last year you have flooded your system with hormones, female hormones. That are meant to change your body chemistry to being more like that of a woman. It is not uncommon for transgender women to begin to go through typical cycles like that of menstruation. And being around Jenny so much it is only natural that you would adapt to her cycle. So here you are having a bad day and since your body is becoming more female you are on a bit more of an edge, you are a little more emotional. Today it just happened to manifest itself in being a bit more angry than usual. You are suffering from PMS Alexa Quinn.” Debbie smiled, and I sat there in a state of confusion.

“That doesn’t make any sense Debbie. I mean as much as I have become more emotional as I have kept up my hormone regimen, I was still born a boy. I can’t have a period.” I said with a bit more consternation than I probably should have, and I realized it after it came out of my mouth. “I’m sorry Debbie I didn’t mean to be such a, um, such a bitch. It doesn’t seem to make any sense.” Debbie went on to explain a few things and even pulled out a few studies that showed these changes. I was shocked, but some things started to make sense. I conceded Debbie’s point but was still a bit perplexed.

We moved on from the subject of my body chemistry and on to some of the other experiences of the week. “So, did you have any dealings with the young man who was stalking you?” I had told Debbie at last week’s meeting about the run I had with Noah at the party the week before as well as how Jenny had reacted.

“No, he has been avoiding me, though I did catch him looking at me a few times, but it wasn’t as obvious as before. I think Jenny scared him so much that he is steering clear of me.” Debbie nodded at my answer and the rest of the meeting seemed to run as normal. Debbie was always wanting to know how all the relationships I have with my family and Jenny’s family. She asked me a few more pointed questions about Adam.

“No phone calls? No emails? Nothing?” she quizzed me when asked about contact with my brother. I laughed at her questions.

“Adam is not exactly Mister Technology. He might be the only person in their 20’s who still uses a flip phone. I don’t even know if he knows how to text. I know it drove Bethany crazy that he wouldn’t upgrade. But Adam is his father’s son.” I informed Debbie. I even joked that I think he still has the big old wall phone in the kitchen of his house. I did say I wanted to try to get to know him a bit better. That seemed to make Debbie happy.

I left my shortened weekly meeting a bit confused about my chemical make up but feeling much better than I had when I walked in. We followed each other downstairs and out to the parking lot. “This is going to be ugly!” Debbie exclaimed as we saw how much snow had accumulated. We wished each other a safe drive home and made our way to our respective cars. Just as Debbie was about to get into her hers, she called out.

“One more thing Alexa. Get some Midol” Debbie said with a smile before she got in her car. I, in return held up one hand at her. Because I was wearing mittens she couldn’t see my good-natured response of informing her she was #1. I made my way back across the 10th Avenue bridge and got hung up in the disaster that was University Avenue. After about double the time it would normally take, I made it back to the apartment. When I entered neither of my roommates was visible but someone else was.

“What are you dong here? Shouldn’t you be at work?” I asked Katie’s boyfriend who was also my brother. Danny looked right at home as he was kicked back in our chair flipping channels.

“I had to come up here for a meeting. When I left the meeting, I couldn’t believe how bad the roads were. I’m not sitting in that crap, so I came over here.” Danny informed me. For once he was being sensible. I asked him where the other two were. As he started to tell me Katie was taking a nap and didn’t even know he was there, Jenny came from the back of the apartment and we settled down on the couch for my debrief. After sharing a kiss, she began in on me.

“So how is Debbie?” Jenny asked. I told her she was typical Debbie and that I had just caught her leaving. I told Jenny about how I had lost it a bit when Debbie told me that our appointment was canceled, and she was on her way home. “I can only imagine” Jenny stated. “You were a bear when you came back from class. You seem to be in a much better mood then when you left. Debbie must have helped. What did she say?” Jenny’s quizzing was typical of her after my meetings with Debbie, so telling Jenny what had gone on during my latest session was not out of the ordinary. What I didn’t think of when I answered my partner was that there were others present.

“Debbie thinks I have PMS” I said somewhat nonchalantly. Jenny nodded and said that it made sense with the way I was acting. The response from the person I had forgotten about is what made this situation difficult.

“You are PMS-ing!” Danny howled out “That is classic!” He stated and began laughing hard. Jenny and I stared at my brother as he tried to get ahold of himself. “I knew you want to become a woman, but Jesus, Alexa. PMS? That is too damn funny.” Jenny and I stared at my brother. I was not finding humor in all of this, but my other half was. She was trying to be polite, and as hard as she tried she was unable to suppress her mirth. Finally, she broke out in a fit of laughter as well. I slouched back on the couch as the two of them found enjoyment over my situation. Jenny saw the mood I was in and moved in to comfort me. I pushed back, but it didn’t take long for my defenses to drop. I gladly let Jenny pull me in for a hug.

As Danny and Jenny were getting themselves under control. Katie appeared. “What is going on out here?” She asked in her standard, ‘you just woke me up’ crabbiness. This changed suddenly when she saw my brother sitting there. A smile crept across her face as the couple locked eyes and Katie moved over and shared a kiss with her boyfriend. Jenny and I looked at each other and gave out a little ‘Aww’. This time rather than Danny admonishing the two of us, it was Katie as she broke the kiss. “Shut up you two.” She said as she cuddled in with Danny. “So, what was so funny?” Danny leaped right in and told her about me and then I had Katie’s teasing to deal with. “Welcome to the club Alexa! If that was a preview, it’s going to be fun around here.” Katie said with a laugh. And unfortunately, she was right, it was going to be fun round here if I was going to be like that once a month. I buried my head in Jenny’s shoulder as the teasing continued.

That teasing was put on hold as Jenny’s phone went off. It was Madame Lebedev, letting us know that dance class had been canceled for that night. I was surprised that I was a bit sad over this because I had started to enjoy the class. But the canceling did give us a chance to just hang out. Jenny even volunteered to cook dinner, which put a nervous look on her future brother-in-law’s face. After Jenny’s very good, but simple meal of chicken and rice, the four of us settled in for a night in front of the television. The inevitable argument over what to watch came up. It was a short-lived argument however as Katie whispered into Danny’s ear and soon the two were headed back to Katie’s room. It wasn’t long before Jenny and I decided to call it an early night as well.

The rest of the week was pretty normal after the joys of Monday. Tuesday was a day for cleanup from the twelve inches of snow we received, but the remainder of the week was like nothing happened. The most exciting thing was Thursday afternoon. I was back at the apartment by about noon that day, trying to work on a paper for my Advanced Creative Writing class when I received a text from one of my best friends with a simple word ‘Skype’. I saved my story about a new family in London and switched over to my Skype app. “Hey Nikki” I said as the picture of my friend who happened to be in the same city I was writing about came up.

‘Hey girly. Is all the snow cleared? Or are you still using dog sleds to get around?” Nikki said with a huge grin on her face.

“Ha Ha. Very funny.” I replied. “What’s up? Didn’t expect to hear from you.”

“Sarah is at a meeting tonight and I am kind of bored, so I thought I would see what is going on in Minneapolis. Everyone there ready for the big match?” Nikki said. I sighed as I told her once again that is was a game and not a match. I let her in on all the events that were happening about town. I also told her that I wasn’t that excited for all the fun as my Vikings were out of it. “That has to be really hard to watch the Eagles’ fans in your town. How is everything else going?” she asked, and I tried to tell her it was fine, but for some reason Nikki wasn’t buying it. “I heard you had a bit of a nutty the other day.” Nikki stated. How did she know that I wondered? I guess Sarah and Jenny have been talking.

“Ah yeah, I was kind of crazy the other day.” I went on to explain what had happened and what Debbie had said to me. “Have you ever heard of that before? Going on a cycle before?” Nikki sat for a moment all quiet. I could tell by the expression on her face she was trying to review happenings in her own journey. Finally, she spoke.

“I have never heard of it before, but it makes sense if you think about it. We have drowned ourselves with female hormones. Seems natural our body would fall into a female pattern. Does give me something to think about” Nikki said. “At least we don’t have to deal with a visit from Aunt Flow like the other two.” It took me a second to figure out what Nikki was saying, before I broke into a giggling fit that I almost felt ashamed to have.

“You better not say that to them or we are in serious trouble” I told my British sister. We continued to talk about everyday life. How work or school was going, families, friends. The typical things that two people talk about. Nikki filled me in on the latest from London and I filled her in on the fun here in Minneapolis. When she asked about the wedding planning, I had to vent a bit. “My mother is driving me nuts! I want her involved but she is just too much sometimes.” Nikki laughed at my frustration and told me that it will be over soon.

“I am sure she never thought she was going to get the chance to plan a wedding, so give her a break.” I nodded at the advice of my guide. I always loved talking with Nikki. Sure, I had Katie who will always be my big sister, but Nikki knew what I was going through. I knew I could count on her perspective on things. I thanked her for calling and being worried about me. Nikki tried to underplay the concern. “I just wanted to make sure you were OK. I do worry about you. I had Jamie and you are kind of on your own. I want to be able to help in any way I can.” That did it and I started to cry. I tried to thank Nikki through my tears “Don’t worry about it. I’m here when ever you need me.” I thanked her again before she told me she had to head off and make dinner. I told her to give Sarah a hug and she told me to give Jenny one as well. As was always the case, I felt better after talking with Nikki. She had this unique way of letting me know that I was not in this alone and that I always had friends to help me. When Jenny came home, she could tell by my mood that I must have talked to Nikki and even teased me a bit.

“If it was anyone else I would be jealous, but I know she only has eyes for Sarah.” Jenny said as we curled up together and discussed our day. I reminded her that Nikki was a great guide through all this.

“She’s my sister. Besides, I only have eyes for one person. As great as Nikki is at helping me out, there is only one person in the whole world that can truly make me happy.” I told my fiancée. After the “aww’ that came out, we shared a kiss and enjoyed some time alone just holding each other. Many times, this simple act made me feel better about myself and I felt more loved than imaginable. Once again, I realized how lucky I was to have Jenny in my life.

Friday rolled around, and it was time for the Super Bowl festivities around town to kick in. The town was abuzz in excitement as the biggest sporting event in the country was only 10 days away. Bars and restaurants had staffed up for the influx of people coming into town and that meant Katie was going to be working when she wasn’t in class. Jenny was excited to get out and enjoy some of the fun, but I was a bit more of a stick in the mud, still licking my wounds over the Vikings. Friday night was the kickoff of the official events. Besides the NFL Experience and parties and concerts around town, there was to be events and concerts along Nicollet Mall, highlighted by the kickoff act of the week, Idina Menzel! Jenny was over the top that the star of ‘Frozen’ was going to open the Super Bowl festivities in the Bold North with “Let It Go” Jenny had spent the last few days walking around the apartment singing away.

Because of Jenny’s performances around the apartment, I knew there was no way we were going to miss the show, so I made sure that we both had plenty of warm clothes and I had called Paul to reserve us a table on Friday night for about 7 PM. Even though the show wasn’t until 5, I knew that we would have to be there immediately. When I got home from class I began to change. Even though it was 47 degrees outside, we were going to be outside for the next several hours. First, I slipped on a long sleeve leotard to keep the upper half warm. I then slid on a pair of tights and then a heavy pair of leggings. I grabbed my cable knit turtleneck sweater that my mom had bought me and my warm winter boots and went to the living room to wait for Jenny.

As was usual when she wanted to be somewhere, Jenny was running late. She came flying through the door in a semi panic and seeing me already dressed put her into even more of a tailspin. She raced past me. Jacket, purse, bookbag flying in every direction. “I am so sorry I am late Lex.” She hollered from the bedroom. I just laughed and told her not to worry about it. I heard the commotion of clothes flying and things being tossed to the floor and ignored it as this was standard operating procedure. Suddenly it stopped, and the love of my life came walking back into the living room with a bit of a sad look on her face. I got a bit concerned and asked her if everything was alright. She walked up and planted a long deep kiss on my lips. “Hi” she whispered as she broke the kiss. “Now it is” she said with a smile that could melt the polar ice cap. She slipped away slowly. “I knew I had forgotten to do something” she said with a child like grin as she slowly walked backwards to the bedroom. However, when she turned, the young woman who was always running late returned. I couldn’t stop laughing at Jenny and went back to playing on my phone. “Quit that laughing young lady” she yelled out, which only doubled my efforts.

A few minutes later, Jenny returned to the living room. Her outfit was not much different than mine, though her sweater seemed to be a hot pink cashmere. She sat down and urged me to finish getting dressed. Less than five minutes later we were sliding into the back seat of the Uber car and were on our way down to Nicollet Mall. As I said, it was incredibly warm for this time of year, so were both stuck carrying our jackets as we walked around the mall, checking out the various ice sculptures, photo ops and other displays that were all part of the Super Bowl experience. We didn’t want to miss Idina, so we made sure we didn’t get hung up on the packed mall. We slipped into the Newsroom bar for a quick drink and made our way over to the stage and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, about 45 minutes late, Miss Menzel took the stage. I couldn’t believe all the children, especially little girls, that were part of the assembled throng. When Idina finally ‘Let It Go’, the children all sang along word for word. The 22 year-old going on 9-year-old that clung to me ‘Let it Go’ as well. The little 6-year-old girl who was perched on her father’s shoulders next to us and Jenny sang a wonderful duet and I couldn’t not think about the future and what our children would be like. I wondered whose smile was bigger at that point, mine or Jenny’s. It didn’t really matter, all that did matter was that we both had them.

Eventually, Miss Mendez finished her abbreviated show and we decided we should head over to Rosato’s for dinner. We worked our way down 8th Street and then across Hennepin Avenue to probably our favourite restaurant in the world. We entered the little Italian place and it was packed! In the time Jenny and I had been coming here, it had never been like this. We could see all the waitress we knew so well, Marie, Gina, Francesca, working their tails off. Even Paul’s sister Carla was waiting tables. Paul spotted us from near the back. With his trademark voice he bellowed out, “Girls, come on back.” And he waved us to one of two empty tables near the kitchen. He came over with the ever-present bottle of Chianti and poured us each a glass. “Do you two need menus?” he asked with a smile on his face as if to tease us. Of course, we told him no, that we pretty much new it by heart. “Good, I don’t think I have any” he said with a smile. “Marie will be right with you.” And he moved towards the front.

After a little visiting with Marie, we finally decided on what we wanted and placed our order. We looked around the restaurant and couldn’t believe the number of people. “I don’t recognize half of these people” I said to Jenny. “Usually I most of the people here, but these people are new.” Jenny nodded her head in agreement as we looked at the various groups that filled our favourite little restaurant. They all appeared to be either out-of-towners or suburbanites trying to be cool. I was looking towards the back and watched Gina coming out of the kitchen with a huge tray of food when I heard Jenny from behind me say that there was someone that she recognized. I turned and instantly recognized the person as well.

“Surprise meeting the two of you here.” The sarcastic voice of my future father-in-law said as he looked down at the two of us. In unison, we told him to be nice, which caused the gentleman next to him to suppress a laugh. Marty mockingly tried to stare us down before giving up. “You two remember the head of our European office, Archie Christian, don’t you?” He asked as we went to shake hands with Mr. Christian. Marty went on to explain that he was in town this week for some meetings and wanted to see some of the sights. “Did you two go down to the “Frozen’ concert?” Marty asked, and we informed him that we had after correcting him that it was Idina Menzel and not Frozen. After laughing at our correction Marty said, “You two have a good night and stay out of trouble.” He kissed each of us on the forehead before leading Archie to their table and the inevitable bickering with the restaurant’s owner.

The dinner was as enjoyable as always, though we still were a bit surprised at the traffic in the place. As Marie was bringing us our customary tiramisu and espressos, we asked her about the preparations. “It has been crazy. You see that my mom is helping, and Grandma and Uncle Paul have been here every morning at 7 making sauces. Grandma goes home but Uncle Paul never leaves.” We asked her how they were holding up and she said it was too early to tell. When we asked her how she was holding up, she looked at us. “Too early to tell, but wine has helped.” We laughed at her response as she moved off. We finished off our desert and made plans to head back out to the Nicollet Mall and enjoy the night. We grabbed the check and headed over to say goodbye to Marty and Archie.

As we were heading towards the door, we heard Marty from behind. “No problem girls, I will get this one.” He called out. We had had purposely left our tab laying on his table. With a grin I turned and looked at my future father-in-law. “Thanks Marty, you are so kind” Jenny broke out in laughter and raced for the front door as I flashed a wide smile. I got a dirty look that was keeping with the fun, but it did achieve our main goal, we got our dinner paid for. We enjoyed more of the music and festivities that night and it was a lot of fun. And while the music and atmosphere were great, it was still a bit hard to take. Everywhere you looked, there were reminders that it was the Philadelphia Eagles and not the Vikings playing next Sunday. When the idea of going back on Saturday night came up, Jenny could see that I wasn’t real excited at that prospect. While the parties on the mall were fun, the Philadelphia fans were getting to me. The suggestion by Jenny that we spend the night at home going through our Netflix watch list was met enthusiastically.

The alarm that went off on Monday was almost as annoying as the one last Monday. And even though it wasn’t the day after a Viking loss, it was still a Monday. The routine of motivating one’s self for another week of classes was always tough. After the brushing my teeth I went and started the coffee pot and flipped on the television to get the latest weather forecast. Other than Netflix, the television had been off all weekend. The electronic device that got the most use was the phone. We spent Sunday working on things for the wedding, so this was to be our first update from the outside world. And it was a world that changed a lot, even in the last 8 hours as we were to find out.

The lead story was about a hostage situation at a hotel right here on campus! I ran to the living room and turned up the volume. “A gunman is holding a person hostage on the sixth floor of the Graduate Hotel on the East Bank Campus of the University of Minnesota” they stated. Slowly both Jenny and Katie made their way out of their respective rooms and joined me staring at the TV. Jenny cuddled in as the report continued. “Police have been negotiating with the gunmen since midnight. Police have shutdown several streets around the hotel as well as several buildings nearby including the Washington Street Ramp and the U’s Recreation Center.” The three of us looked at each other for a moment before getting on our phones or laptops to see what was open for the day. Katie was the first to speak “Well I’m screwed. It’s going to take me forever to get to class.” Instantly she dropped her phone and raced to the bathroom to get ready.

Jenny jumped in and asked if anyone had been hurt before she began voicing her concerns about getting around campus. As soon as Katie was out of the bathroom, Jenny was in there next leaving me on the couch. I sat there and watched the coverage of this standoff, and all I could think of was “It’s a Monday”

Campus was a little on edge as I made my way to class. There were police everywhere and streets were shutdown. Some classes even had to be canceled because of their proximity to the scene. Of course, none of mine. As I entered my Senior Sem, the standoff was all anyone could talk about. Everyone had an opinion on what was going on. Some thought it was some drunken football fan in town for the Super Bowl. Some said it was some businessman who had lost it. No one had a clue. Even Dr. Braylon joked about it. “We know it is not some professor. We can’t afford to say there.” The class got on him about that instantly. And as tense as the situation around campus was, it was nice that a professor could joke about it. But the most common view of the whole situation was that it was Monday that made the guy go crazy. I laughed as I thought back to last week. But it wasn’t long before my own Monday got thrown a curve ball.

As I was leaving my Irish Lit class, my phone rang. I recognized the number as being from the Program. “Alexa, it is Nicole. Debbie slipped on her way to lunch and hurt herself. She was taken to HCMC to be checked out. I am rescheduling all of her appointments; can you do it Friday?” I told her I would and asked how bad Debbie had been hurt. “Not real sure. I was gone when it happened, but I did hear she was embarrassed by the whole thing.” Nicole began to giggle and so did I. After being a patient for over a year, and the fact that Jenny had interned at the program, I had gotten to know Nicole fairly well. I told Nicole I was going to text Debbie and tease her, and Nicole told me “You better.”

The rest of the day and week went pretty normal. Boring would be the right word. On of the exceptions was our ballet class Monday, which I was enjoying more and more each time. Jenny and Katie teased me a lot about it, but I also noticed a proud smile come from fiancée as I worked my way across the floor to Madame Larisa’s instruction. School was school, and the rest of the time was spent avoiding the out of towners. I was not the only one who was feeling that way about the influx of people. When we went out to dinner with Marty on Wednesday night, he announced he was taking a few days to head to Florida. “I need to get out of town. One because it is too chaotic around here, but mostly because it just hammers home the point the Vikings lost” he said with a grin aimed at me. I sympathized with Jenny’s father over that issue and even tried to get the two of us invited to go with him to Florida. He laughed. “You two can’t come. Besides all the people, I need to get away from you two” he teased us. “You two have classes and I am leaving in the morning.” We playfully pouted but Marty stood strong.

On the way back to the apartment, Jenny came up with an idea. ‘It’s going to be a crappy weekend. You don’t want to deal with all the Super Bowl stuff and I don’t want to be out in the cold. Katie has to work, and Daddy will be gone. Why don’t we head out to the house for the weekend? We can have a little quiet time for us and come back Monday morning?” The smile on her face told me that she would not take no for an answer. I agreed that it would be a perfect in-town getaway. We went home and got organized to take over the Thompson estate for the weekend. Jenny called Thomas to make sure that there would be wood for the fire place and that everything else would be ready. “We won’t need anything else. Go have fun this weekend Thomas. The two of us will be fine.”

So, for the next two days I struggled to make it through my classes. I spent Thursday night making sure that everything that was needed for Monday morning was taken care of. I was not planning on even cracking a book this weekend. Jenny was all set to pick me up following me appointment with Deb and then we would be on our way to the lake. The only thing we planned on doing was stopping to get groceries and what ever other things we might need. I walked out of my last class on Friday and caught a bus to the edge of downtown. Then it was a short walk over to Debbie’s office. This might have been a mistake, I should have drove. While it wasn’t that cold, the wind was brutal, and I was not dressed for it. By the time I walked into the reception area I was a popsicle. Nicole laughed at me “Not thinking ahead were you?” the Programs receptionist teased.

“I didn’t know it was going to be this windy! Be careful when you go out there. It is brutal!” I told her. She told me I could go on back. I shed my coat in the lobby and headed back to Debbie’s office. When I entered I saw the results of her fall the other day. “Looking good there, Dr. Burke” I said as I entered. The bruise on her cheek had begun to fade, but was still visible and her left wrist was wrapped up. “You look like shit Deb” I said with a giggle. The look Debbie gave me was worse than anything my mom had ever shot me.”

“Shut up or I will recommend you for a lobotomy.” Debbie said dead pan before giving me a smile. “Don’t say anything more. I know better than to go prancing out when it is like this. It hurt like hell.” Debbie took her customary seat and I took mine an we went into the ‘Week in Review’ as I liked to call it. Since it had been almost two weeks since my last meeting, there should be plenty to talk about. Usually I have had some run in with someone over who I was. Or I had done something really stupid that required me to kiss up to Jenny about. But nothing had happened. I told Debbie about the night down at Super Bowl Live and the fun we had there and how we had stuck Marty with our bill. But that was the excitement of my life the last 10 days. “This might be a first. Your life might be more boring than mine” she said with a laugh. I tried to joke that I was cured and jokingly began to get up. I was told to sit back down. I couldn’t help but giggle at the frustration I was causing my counselor.

“I am glad that everything has gone so well. You were in such a mood when we met last week that I didn’t get to what I originally wanted to talk about.” Debbie said. I asked her what it was, and I could see her squirm a bit in her chair. It seemed like she was taking forever to speak. I started to get a bit nervous. After adjusting her suit coat and fiddling with her arm brace, she looked at me. “I wanted to. Wait that’s not it.” She paused again. It seemed she was looking for the right words. “Okay, here it is. It has been a year since you started living full time. Technically that is the length of time required for you to be eligible for SRS, though you still have to have my recommendation.”

I could see that Debbie was watching me closely as to what my reaction. That reaction was one of surprise, like I had been broadsided. I just stared at her as I tried to come to grips with what she just said. And I couldn’t. My mind was whirling. I had moved on last spring from the fear that I was taking anything from Jenny. I had come to terms with the fact that things were not the same in bed as they had been. And Jenny was fine with it too. I enjoyed my life, I had embraced that I was the woman I had always felt I was. But this was a final step. If I went through with this I would be physically a woman, or as close I could be given I was born a boy. But something else was getting to me. I just couldn’t put a finger on it.

“I, um, so, ahh.” The words would not come up. “What does all of that entail?” I asked not knowing what else to say. That ‘something’ was still hiding in the recess of my mind and I couldn’t set it free. I listened to Debbie begin to explain that while a year technically was the limit, many professionals wanted to see that their patients had truly committed to living as the opposite gender and sometimes require a little more than a year. “You don’t think I am committed to this?” I asked defensively. Debbie waved me off.

“Not at all. You are one of the most committed people I have ever met. Except for one thing, surgery. We have never really discussed this before and I thought we should start to approach the subject.” I let go a breath that seemed to calm me a bit, and Debbie tried to lighten things a bit. “Did you think we were going to wheel you into the Operating room right now?” she said with a laugh that I recognized as Debbie joking with me. It did help as she went on explaining that it was the final step. “A difficult and painful final step. A step that there is no turning back from. I had not brought it up because I wanted to see you grow into Alexa. And I will say you are much different person than the one who came in here 13 months ago. You had just gone through the most disastrous rejection of your life. Yes, you had Jenny and Katie, but you didn’t have your family. You have made amends with most of them and now you live a much happier life. You are a much more independent and outgoing person, though you Jenny are still constantly together it seems. But love will do that to people.” Debbie said with a smile.

“Do YOU want to have the surgery?” Debbie asked, and I sat there and just stared at my counselor, not knowing what to say. Before I could even attempt an answer, Debbie jumped in “I want you to think about this and talk with people. Talk with your mother. Talk with Nikki. If anyone would have some insight as to all that goes on with SRS, it would be her. Talk with Jenny. You will need her as you go through this. She is someone who’s support is going to be the most important of all. But do you know who the most important person to talk with is?” I shook my head. “You. You have to make sure this is what you truly want and that you are ready for all this.” I sat there. I didn’t know what to say. Once again, before I could formulate an answer, Debbie spoke up again. “Well our time is almost up. So, are you going to any of the events this weekend?” Debbie asked. The question was enough to pull me out of the cloud I was in.

“Huh? What? Um, no. I am still in recovery over the Vikings.” I said with an embarrassed giggle. “And I really don’t want to deal with all the people. No, Marty took off to Florida for the weekend, so Jenny and I are going out to the house and lay low until Monday morning. How about you?” I asked. Debbie said that she was going to Pink that night at the Armory but that was about it.

“A friend is having a little party on Sunday, so I may head over for the first half. Pretty tame really.” Debbie said as she stood up. I think this was all a plan on the good doctor’s part. Get me thinking about the surgery and then switching course by talking about the weekend. We decided to cancel my Monday session since this one was so close. Debbie followed me out to the lobby, where I found Jenny chatting with Nicole and one of the other assistants. As I walked in Jenny noticed me and the smile that always seemed to appear when I appeared, spread across her face. The cloud in my head parted as I returned the smile. I heard Nicole make some comment about the two of us, but I didn’t hear, and I don’t think Jenny did either. We moved to each other and shared a discrete moment of PDA. As we broke from the kiss is when Jenny noticed her former boss standing next to me. A giggle came out of her mouth.

“Nice shiner Deb.” Jenny said between the laughs. Debbie mockingly threatened her former intern that she better show some proper respect to her superior or get her resume together. Jenny laughed her off but didn’t apologize. She then turned, flashing me her million watt-smile. “You ready to go?” She asked, and I nodded. We said goodbye to everyone and made our way down to Jenny’s car for our trip out to, the lake. Jenny asked me all about the session with her former boss and I was kind of vague. Just the mention of it put me back into my haze. Jenny went on to describe her day, talking about something that happened in one of her classes. I heard her talking but it didn’t register with me. ‘You OK?” she asked, and I told her I was fine, just a bit tired. I stayed in my fog as we stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things and at the liquor store for the wine. Jenny didn’t ask me anymore if I was OK, but she still looked at me oddly. We made it to the house and put everything away. Rather than start up some dinner, Jenny took me by the hand and led me to the great room. A fire was already going, and she led me over to the couch in front of the fire place.

“What did you and Debbie talk about that has you so worked up?” Jenny asked as she held my hand. The look of warmth and concern was there. There was an anxiousness in how she waited for me to respond. The care she showed was the most wonderful thing as I struggled for the words to explain what I was going through. I finally screwed up the courage and answered my soulmate.

“She brought up SRS” I blurted out. Jenny sat there for a minute trying to digest what I had said.

“Are you going to do it?” she asked with a discovered sense of eagerness. I was momentarily taken a back. ‘It is what you want, isn’t it? It would complete your journey. Have you talked with Nikki about her surgery? Or Paige and what she has had to go through as she gets ready for hers?”

The questions were coming in rapid fire, and the haze seemed to get thicker. I slumped forward into Jenny’s arms. She held me as I once again went through everything. She finally asked me what was bothering me. “I don’t know. Ever since Debbie brought it up, I have been in this daze. I have to admit that I hadn’t even thought of it. Everything has been great. I think of myself as a woman and I wonder why I would have to go through something so painful just to prove that I am a woman.” I wasn’t in tears, but I still felt like a child as Jenny held me. I starred at the flames as they lapped across the logs. Jenny began to rub my back. It was something she did when I was wound up about something. Today it just projected the caring that was always there.

“You don’t have to do it you know. You will still be a woman in many people’s eyes.” Jenny said. That line hit me. Many people.

“But that’s it Jen. Some people will still think I am some sort of weirdo just pretending to be a woman.” I said in response.

“I won’t, isn’t that all that matters?” Jen said to me I looked up and was warmed all over again. “Are you scared?”

“Petrified” was my response. Then the fog slowly began to clear in my head, but the fog condensed and turned into tears. “I am scared you will leave because then I will really be a freak. I will have been mutilated.” And the tears flew more freely. I hugged Jenny tighter as I admitted my fears. But it wasn’t long before she was pulling me up to look at me eye to eye.

“You will not be a freak. You will not have been mutilated. I am behind you no matter what you decide. If you decide you don’t want to have the surgery, that’s what you have decided. I will stand by you. If you decide to have the surgery I will be there too. I will make sure you are comfortable, that you are healing properly, that you dilate and that they are clean and ready to go. Whatever you decide I will be there. Remember I love you and you are stuck with me forever.” The grin she flashed over her own joke was perfect. I cuddled back into her and she held me. She leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. A whisper escaped her mouth. “Forever” she said softly and leaned back. As I stared at the fire, I knew that this wasn’t something that I could just decide overnight. There was going to be a lot soul searching. I knew that a long talk with Nikki was going to be in my future, as well as one with my mother.

But I knew one more thing, that no matter what, the beautiful caring woman that held me at that moment would be there to hold me no matter what I decided. I looked at her and was rewarded with another kiss. The fear of what the future held was wiped away by the love the most special person in the world. No matter what I decided, I knew I would have Jenny there with me. Damn I am the luckiest person in the world!