Jamie and Lily (3)

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The movie was amazing, the animation amazing, the story touching. In short 'From Up on Poppy Hill' made me nostalgic for a time I've never experienced. It was tinged with sadness, heartache, and the pains of growing up. A window into a world in transition. And like Mr. Hayao Miyazaki's movies it was sure to become a classic as the years rolled on by. Lily even found herself getting swept up in the story line, and that's pretty amazing since she has never been the biggest anime fan.

But then again she always enjoyed Studio Ghibli Films. Of course, during the movie we seemed to have cleaned out one popcorn machine. I'm always amazed how much popcorn my sister and I can consume in one hour and a half movie. Enough to fill the hull of the Mayflower I'm sure. With enough coke-cola to float the thing. That's on top of the huge meal we had before dinner. Once the movie had ended we decided to skip ice-cream and head straight home. We were stuffed to the gills and it was getting late. It was pushing ten when he finally hit the highway.

For a while we traveled in silence, each one of us reflecting on the events of the day. Then Lily broke the silence.

“Hey.” She said, taking a deep breath. “Sorry it took so long to make this happen. I know I promised you a movie date way back when you were a freshman. And here you are, halfway through your sophomore year. Hard to believe it's been nearly a year and a half now.” She said keeping her eyes on the road.

“Seems like only yesterday, but it also seems like a lifetime ago.” I said, peering out the window. “So much has happened. A lot of it was good, and a lot of it was bad. A lot of things happen, you know. I mean people have really started to accept me now.” I paused and placed my open palm on the window.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Lily said, smiling as she looked over.

“Just thinking about the future. I'm thinking about attending Holmes Community College once I finish at Benton Academy. I really feel this calling to be a nurse you know. And Holmes is close, it's also pretty friendly to people like me. And well a degree from there will not break the bank if you catch my drift.” I said trying to put all the confusing emotions I was feeling into words.

Lily nodded her head. I'm glad she had the good grace to just sit back and listen for a while.

“I also want to keep being a cheerleader. And a cheerleader scholarship could really help cover the bills. But I'm not sure how the other girls would feel about having somebody like me on the squad.” I said in a low tone of voice. “I mean the cheerleader's at Benton Academy accept me for who I am. And heck, Even Rebecca, that brunette girl that replaced Linda as co-captain and will be captain next year as even promised to make me co-captain.” I'm aware that I'm starting to ramble on here.

“Then you will be captain. And then you will decide on who will be your co-captain.” Lily said as she took a deep breath. “And really Jamie. I don't see a problem with it, you've put a lot of hard work into becoming the perfect cheerleader. We've pushed you hard, yes, but that's because we wanted you to succeed.” Lily paused. “I mean, you've pushed yourself too. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make her drink after all.”

“I guess.” I said, sighing a little. “Man being a girl is harder than I thought.” I said, taking a deep breath.

Lily only smiled.

“Living is hard.” She said after a moment of silence. “Always remember that Jamie. But like dad used to say 'When things get tough the tough get going' and if anything you're a pretty tough cookie.” She said smirking a little as she said that. “I mean, when life has knocked you down, you've gotten back up and kept on swigging. Even when we thought life had you down for the count, you got back up and kept on fighting. So I'm proud of you.”

I felt my tears starting to mist a little.

“But take my advice.” Lily said, taking a deep breath. “Don't rush things, I'm going to sound like mom a little now, but you're just fifteen. You have plenty of time to fall in love, get married, get a degree, go to dances. I know you've fallen head over heels in love with Ben. But just remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Just be sure if you're going to give your heart and soul to him. That he's the one. I know he was your first, but remember to keep the doors open.”

I shifted my gaze toward Lily and took a deep breath. Lily for the most part had only offered me bits and pieces of advice when it came to how I handled my boyfriend, his older sister on the other hand seemed to hover around us. Every time I went over to his house she would sit across from me, her arms folded across her chest and under her breast. I could tell she was watching me, heck she even had a rule how many times I could kiss the boy. I'm sure she'll skin and boil me alive if she ever found out that he and I had done the deed one night in a hayloft on the Brewer Farm.

“No.” Lily said as she looked over and saw the look I was giving her. “No, I'm not going to tell you how to handle your boyfriend. I'm just going to say this. At fifteen most girls have gone through some major breakups. I was fourteen when I had my first boyfriend and truly thought that he and I were going to get married one day in a big Episcopal Cathedral.” Lily paused. “We met at a church camp one summer. He attended St. Andrew's Episcopal School in Jackson where he was a star football player. And me, being the star, upcoming cheerleader at Benton Academy. It just seemed like we were meant for each other. We hung out a lot.. we texted each other everyday. I mean I got in so much trouble because I would check my phone for new text and get angry when he took more than a hour or so to respond to me. Looking back, it was toxic as hell.”

I nodded my head.

“In hindsight, I kind of knew it would have never worked out. One, we were just babies, fourteen is still really too young to date anybody.. and two, none of us had the emotional maturity to carry on. I mean yes Benton and Jackson are close, like what fifty miles or so apart? But that was it.” Lily paused, I knew she was trying to collect her thoughts. “It was like okay, here I am on Earth right, say Earth is Benton. And here he is on Mars, and Mars is Jackson. It would have never worked. Then one day I got a text from a girl. Well to make a long story short, the girl said that she was dating the boy and that I could keep my 'Country Ass' away from him or 'She was going to shave my ass bald and stuff my panties in her mouth' Jesus man.. I thought Jackson girls were more refined than that.” Lily said.

“She sounds like a real bitch.” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

“That one thing you need to learn Jamie. Some girls don't place nice, some girls love to spread rumors about a girl behind her back. They try to turn her friend's against her, they stalk her social media pages. And when confronted they shift the blame to the girl being stalked.” She said, sighing.
“I hope you never, ever encounter that. When I was a freshman the cheerleaders considered themselves the alpha's of the school's social hierarchy. The 'A' squad that the main group of girls that form the center of the cheerleader's squad were queens and they controlled everything. They controlled who got elected prom queen, who got elected homecoming queen, who got elected to the courts. And most of all they controlled who got on the squad or not. They often held 'Court' too.” Lily blinked. “A girl could be brought before 'The Court' as it was called for a number of crimes, getting above her place, being too cute, being too popular, or speaking out against the social norms. The 'A' squad was in these cases often judge, jury, and executioner.”

I nodded my head. When Lily started telling me these things, I often just sat back and listened. I considered them parables, parables that allowed me to view the world through the eyes of a woman. Stories that afford me a view into a world that up till a year or so ago had been hidden from me.

“Punishments were often kind of heavy handed. I know one girl got her braid cut off for talking to a cheerleader's boyfriend. Another girl got her head shaved because she refused to hand over the homecoming crown to the cheerleaders.” Lily paused again. “I saw things.”

“Wow,” I said. I was at a loss of words. I really was.

“That's why I started reforming the squad.. When I became captain I always did with 'The Court' system, I wanted the cheerleaders to become the spirit of the school, not lordly ladies that ruled over a fiefdom of serfs. But to become loving big sisters and elements of change. That is why I wanted Rebecca to take my place, I knew she would keep the ball rolling if you will. And when you become captain Jamie.” She looked over at me and gave me a loving look. “I want you to keep the ball rolling too, it's a work in progress. A battle to be waged, a battle that is often lost but the struggle must keep going on. So when you become captain I want you to groom somebody to take your place, to keep the struggle alive, so she can groom somebody and the cycle can keep going.”

I was really at a loss for words now.

“I know this is a lot to ask of you. But you're my little sister. I know I can entrust this mission to you. I've thought a lot about this little date we've been on. And I've been struggling to come to terms with the fact that I'll soon be leaving you, graduating from Benton Academy and going off to college. That I'll only see you on weekends.” I swear I saw a few salty tears rolling down Lily's eyes. “But I'm going there for you, I'm going to make time for your first prom, your first homecoming game as captain. Your graduation.. your first day of college. Cause you're my sister you know.”

I'm ashamed to say that at that moment I was lost for words. So I just sat there watching the world pass by. For most of my life, my older sister Lily had been just that. I never felt any warmth toward her. But when I became Jamie she became more to me than an older sister, she became my first best friend, Madeline became my second. She became my mentor, who often seemed to understand the struggles I was going through more than mom did. She became my teacher, teaching the finer points of being a girl and how to be social as a girl. It was Lily who showed me how to make a Facebook page and how to monitor it. Or how to make an Instagram account and how to best use it.

“I understand.” I said finally. “I'll do my best.”

“I know you will.” Lily said, clearing some of the tears from her eyes. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” I said.

“You're going to make us all very proud of you.” Lily said. “I know you are. Your a very special young lady Jamie Sarah Potter and I'm proud to have you as my little sister. I don't care what Joan says about you.”

And another chapter in my life comes to an end. Stick around, there's a lot more coming.

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