It was my first week in the city, I had just turned 17, and since I wanted to go to college in the city, my family thought it was best for me to start getting used to living there a year ahead and I enrolled in an online high school program for my last year, it wasn’t a big deal for me since I didn’t have more than 1 close friend, Eliza, who I knew since we were 5, and pretty much didn’t care about anyone else in my school. They arranged for me to rent a room in the house of my mother’s friend Carla who lived there, she was just divorced and her daughter Leah was already living on her own so there was plenty of space for me to stay. It was my lifelong dream to leave the little town and come to live in the city so I was in a state of pure excitement that whole week, if not the month.
Carla picked me up at the airport, and as we drove to the house she gave me the basic house rules of the house.
“I don’t want to be a pain to you Dan, and I don’t want you to be a pain for me, so I won’t be intruding much with what you do, as long as you follow some basic house rules: No loud music, tv or anything loud while I’m in the house, you have to clean your dishes, if you arrive late, don’t make noise, and please try to not arrive drunk, never leave the house unlocked and please don’t lose your key, if you arrive late and don’t bring your key you’ll sleep on the street because I won’t wake up to open the door for you, I know some rules may sound too obvious but I have already dealt with teenagers and I know that the obvious slips right through you at this age, If you follow rules I may allow for a party whenever I have to travel out, also I have a cleaning lady coming twice a week, she can do your laundry, just leave it in the basket that I left in your bedroom”.
I just smiled and promised I was going to follow rules, and that probably I would never need to throw a party since I’m not the party kind of guy.
The house was pretty big for the city that was mostly filled with apartment buildings, it had 2 floors, 3 bedrooms, and a backgarden, it was on a quiet street just 4 blocks away of the main avenue of the area, so it was a pretty neat accomodation for a guy that was in love with the city. Carla showed me my bedroom, it was the one they normally used for visitors, then she showed me her daughter’s bedroom which was connected to mine through the shared bathroom, since Lucia, her daughter wasn’t living there anymore that wasn’t going to be an issue unless there were visitors, Carla said.
“It’s that really all you luggage?” Carla asked amazed while looking at my small suitcase.
“Yes, my dad said it was better for me to buy new stuff here, because of the weather difference, so I just brought a change of clothes, some books and small stuff”.
“Oh my god, I’m so not used to that “boys” mentality anymore, if it were me or my daughter we would have packed the entire house” She said laughing “I hope, you do get to buying new stuff, because I don’t want to be smelling you after wearing the same outfit after a week or more”.
We both had a laugh, she seemed to be easygoing, wich made me feel relaxed. She then just left to work, gave me some advices about the public transportation and nearby parks, malls and places to hang out, it was a full month before I would begin the online classes, so there was plenty time for me to enjoy the city at full, so I decided to relax at first and lay on bed, I started scrolling through instagram and facebook, seeing what my friend and everyone else back in town where doing.
Flash forward two days later, I had barely left the house, and those few times was to go across the street to look for snacks, I wasn’t aware that I could actually miss town, but I did and I couldn’t stop scrolling through photos and posts of everyone I knew, I spoke a while with Eliza, we both missed each other, I lied a bit to her, saying I had already been everywhere and met some cool people, when reality was that I had only met Carla’s daughter once, and Sandra the cleaning lady this morning.
Suddenly out of nowhere came Leah marching through my door, she made direct eye contact and exclaimed “You’re getting up, and I’m going to take you to the store so you get your new clothes and actually see real people”.
I was paralyzed, I had barely talked to her when Carla introduced us, and since she was older (26) and way too hot, I really didn’t think we were going to bond in any way.
“My mom says that you haven’t left the house and Sandra just told me you’re wearing the same thing you arrived in, so you better get up and come with me, or I’ll never give you a chance again to hang with the coolest girl in the city” she added while getting closer to the bed.
I just nodded, which made her crack laughing.
“You got a long way to guy Dan, if you plan to make it in the city, you can’t be the shy town boy anymore”.
“I won’t” I finally replied, and got up in a jump.
“That’s the attitude!” she said and took me by the arm, almost crawling me through the house, to the street, the day was super sunny without any cloud, and since I had spent all day inside I immediately squinted my eyes.
“Put these on, you’ll look cool” Leah said as she put a pair of sunglasses on my face.
We got in her car and she started driving.
“So you’re missing your friends?”.
“Not really, well not in plural, i just have one friend”.
And so we started talking about my town, and she told me all the stories her mother had told her about my mom when they were young, and how she had always envied her mother about having such a great girlfriend when she was younger, while Leah never had a close girlfriend.
“I do have my girl gang, you know, but it’s nothing like what our moms had, they were almost like sisters, then our fathers came, then job, then your family moved and rest is history, so now you and I must get along, I’ll give up on getting a close girlfriend as long as you come up to be a good guy to hang out”.
“I’ll be a good guy” I just laughed.
“Ok, then I might introduce you to some pretty girls” she said and turned to wink at me.
Leah was really cool and outgoing, I was thankful she took me out of bed, and made such an effort to make me have a good time and forget about my town. We spent all day together, she took me for brunch to a hipster place, then she took me for clothes, I was too shy to try stuff in front of her, so I just rushed picking up stuff and paid”.
“Really?” she said “That’s why you don’t have any style you just took the first things up and didn’t even took a real look at the store”.
“I just want the basics, that’s all”.
She rolled her eyes, and then we moved on to a ice cream shop, we walked along the avenue eating our ice creams and talking about life, she had just got out of college adn was an intern at a fashion magazine, her dream job actually was more serious journalism, but that was all that she could find, and it was with help of her mom’s business partners that she got that job, so she was trying to make the most out of it, I told her about how I wanted to be a scriptwriter and/or novelist, and she encouraged me to follow my dream, we talked about the city, and how I imagined it would be, she told me that all that was true, but it also wasn’t as great as I made it out to be, she promised to take time later in the week to take me out and show me more of the city and meet new people.
“Ok Dan, so here’s your stop, see you later, you’re a nice guy don’t hide on that bedroom”.
She said as we reached her mother’s house.
I came to my bedroom with my bag of new clothes and threw them on the bed, to finally try them on, I started with a white button shirt.
It seemed alright
Then, a pair of jeans, these ones took a while to come up, a black t shirt.
Ok, this ones are way too tight for me
They didn’t come out easily, so I just left them on, while I tried another white shirt, I hadn’t noticed it was a V neck, and for my taste it was way too long a V neck.
Then hit it me, these were women’s clothes.
I wanted to die, it was all my fault for rushing through the store without taking a better look, I went through all I the clothes trying to find which ones where the most manly of the bunch, if Eliza were here she would be laughing so hard at me, these are the kind of dumb things that always happen to me when I try to act cool, it always somehow comes back at me, making me look like like a fool, I was at least glad that Leah hadn’t found out or she probably would also had laughed at me, in her mind I was still cool, or that’s what I wanted to believe.
I picked up the clothes that looked more androgynous, thinking I could pull off wearing them until I went to buy new ones, I was in the middle of doing this when Carla came to my room.
“Heard that someone finally got out of this room” she said as she came in.
Fuck, I thought. I was still wearing the V neck shirt, hope she doesn’t notice it.
“And you got new clothes it seems” she said checking me out “It’s not what I thought your look was, I hope Leah didn’t push you into buying something you didn’t want”.
I’m pretty sure she thinks these are boy’s clothes.
“Not at all, it was all me, I just picked up the first things that I found on the store” I replied confident that it was androgynous enough to pull it off
“Well they look nice, I guess that’s how the kids your age are dressing now” she said taking a closer look “I’m out of touch with your generation”.
I laughed “Nah, I’m sure you’re more in touch with my generation than my parents are”.
That comment made her laugh.
“Well I’m glad you finally got out, I hope it becomes a habit” She said. “Goodnight Dan”
She left the room. I was almost sweating in nervousness, I wasn’t really sure if she really thought these were boy clothes or if she has just assumed I was into girl’s clothes.
I arranged all the new clothes and got to bed, hoping the next day I could make a trip to the store and return at least some of them.
Knock, knock
I was barely awake as I heard the knocks on my bedroom door.
“Come in” I said, thinking it was Sandra coming for my clothes.
I was wrong, Leah came in with two coffees in her hand, she came to sit on the border of my bed and gave me one of the coffees.
“What time is it?” I asked, still sleepy and confused.
“Time to wake up Dani” She said as she insisted with her arm for me to take the coffee.
I sat, and took the coffee, it was too early for me, mostly since I had gotten used to staying asleep longer than it would be normal. I sipped the coffee.
“So, I got an intersting call from my mom last night, and since I didn’t have much to do this morning I decided to come here and see for myself what was she talking about” Leah finally said.
I almost fainted, wishing it was still a dream, or more accurate a nightmare.
“And what are you referring to?” I said trying to act cool.
“Ok Dani, if you’re going to act cool about it then I’m going to assume that you didn’t made a mistake and that you actually like wearing women’s clothes, is that what you want me to think?” Leah said going directly to the point.
“It was a mistake!” I said way too loud.
She chuckled, and then came up to my closet.
“And you tried to act cool in front of my mother, while wearing women’s clothes” She said as she inspected the new clothes.
“I did” I shyly replied. “I kinda thought some might actually be for both boys or girls” I added, one more time trying to be cool about it.
“Some of them yes, I think” She said while holding out the jeans her mom caught me wearing.
“Put these on” she said as she handed them to me.
15 minutes later I was showing her how I was dressed when her mom came in last night. We both laughed about it.
“Damn, Dani, you really can pull off the androgynous look, I’m starting to think you should actually keep some of these” Leah said while sipping her coffee.
“I don’t think so Leah” I said while staring at the mirror.
I noticed a smirk on her face
“Dani?” she said. “What is your shoe size?”
I was confused about why would she ask that, or mostly I was too dumb and naive.
“I’m not sure, whichever size it’s around 9 inches” I said
“We’re the same size!” she said as she stripped of her heels. “Please try them on” she said almost in a purr.
5 minutes later, of course, I was wearing the outfit with her heels.
Leah was having a blast watching me change outfits, which made me enjoy doing it, It never felt like she was making fun of me or something like that, it was more like a bonding brother and sister thing for me, so I kept showing her how all fitted me. We were having a fun time.
“Dani, you really can pull off that androgynous look” Leah said at some point, “I work in fashion and I can tell you that it’s one of the most popular trends right now”.
“Really?” I asked amused.
“Yes, androgyny is coming up big this year” Leah said. “Maybe you should keep the clothes and go for that kind of look, you know? It will probably make you look more interesting to the girls in that hipster college you want to attend”.
I laughed at the comment about the college.
“I don’t know, I don’t think I’ll be comfortable wearing such skinny jeans, and women’s blouses, and I’m not really a fashion forward kind of guy” I answered.
“Well, you could be if you want to, I mean it’s not like you’re wearing a dress or skirt” she said while shrugging.
I turned to look at her, “I’m wearing heels!” I said while pointing at my feet.
She cracked laughing.
“And you really have turned out to be good with them” She said almost impressed “When I first wore heels I could barely stand up, you’re a natural kid”.
“Shut up!” I said as I sat on the bed to take them off.
“Oh come on!” she said putting her arm around me and making eye contact with me.
I had began to notice that she was very good at making me pay attention and feel comfortable when she made eye contact.
“Can I do one more small thing before you take them off?” Leah asked kindly.
“What is it?” I said, sure that I was about to say yes to anything she said.
“Let me put makeup on you” Leah said with a smirk.
It was hard to say no to her, I had been in the city only 4 days, and she was the closest thing I had to a friend, even with the almost 10 years gap between us she was the closest person to my age I had met here, and she was actually cool I really enjoyed being with her, it was like an instant connection, as if we were meant to be friends from the start, some weird connection that was passed from our mothers to us.
“Ok, whatever” I said.
Once again trying to act as cool as possible about it, as if didn’t actually care, and now that I think about it, I really didn’t care, she made me feel confident.
She smiled instantly and hugged me, then she took a couple of thing from her purse and started by putting a band on my head to keep away my hair.
“Since we’re not the same skin tone, I’m only doing a little bit to your eyes and a touch of color to your lips, something that pops out, natural yet feminine”.
I laughed and shook my head at the feminine comment. She came close to my face and started doing my eyes.
“This is mascara, it will make your lashes look darker, and longer, this helps to make your eyes look bigger, you notice it in mine?” She said as she blinked twice for me to notice her lashes.
Then she took a little thinking as she looked inside her purse.
“Mmmh I don’t know” She said almost to herself.
Then she looked back at me and pursed her lips.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I’m unsure about your lips, I don’t my lipstick suits you”.
She was wearing light matte pink lips. Suddenly she seemed to figure it out.
“I know, wait here, I should have a better one in my old room” She said as she ran across my bathroom to her old room.
I was intrigued as to what she wanted to do, or even why, but in the end I was actually having a good time and it didn’t seem as a big deal at the moment, it was all in the sake of having a little fun. She returned with a small box full of products.
“These is some of my old makeup” she said “I used to wear more when I was younger, now I have toned down my look a bit, but I think you’ll skin tone goes perfect with red lips”.
And as she said that she took out a pencil.
“This one is perfect, now open your mouth a bit” she said as she did with her lips the open mouth expression she expected me to do.
I followed her instructions and she began applying the lipstick, it had a creamy texture, my lips suddenly felt smoother somehow.
“Oh my Dani! You look so cute” she said.
She grew a huge smile, she looked as if she was watching the most cute puppy you could imagine.
“Haha, stop it, and let me see” I said.
I’m sure I was flushing because of the attention.
“Here come to the mirror” she said.
I followed her to the mirror, and I was amazed, it was still me for the most of it, but I actually looked kind of cute, she was right red suited me.
“So what do you think” Leah asked.
“I love it” I said without giving it even a thought.
“Haha, you’re so cute Dani” She said as she watched me, perplexed to how comfortable I seemed to be with the whole situation.
There it was, she finally seemed to have the perfect girlfriend and little sister she had always wanted.
That day Leah took me to buy a few more clothes, guy clothes, but convinced me to keep some of the women’s clothes, the ones she said looked more genderless. In the end I didn’t mind that much about it, she was making me feel as if I was way too cool for not being too apprehensive about letting her put makeup on me or wearing her heels, that I ended up feeling more confident and actually being cool about it.
The weeks passed and I got used to go out more often, I would walk to a park that was close to the house, sometimes I would bring a book and just sit down to read, I had a reflex camera so sometimes I would walk around taking pictures of city sights. At first Leah would come around the house once or twice a week, and she would take me out to some cool restaurant or café, she took me to a couple art galleries, and a couple of times we just stayed at home watching a movie and talked about her internship, the goals we had for our careers and life.
“It’s funny, I think I have such an easy life, and yet I don’t make the most of it” Leah said.
“What do you mean?” I asked back.
“Well, since my parents divorced, my father has done everything to over compensate, I could ask for almost anything I would have it” she said “My car, my apartment, everything that’s in it, and I don’t pay for a thing, so I can work an internship and not worry about money”.
She shook her head, and threw herself back to my bed.
“That’s why I can’t do more serious stuff, I don’t struggle” she said with her eyes closed.
“You seem to be struggling right now” I said, trying to help.
“Yes! My daddy’s girl problems” she said irritated “Ugh I sound so dumb”.
I couldn’t help but laugh, which provoked her to throw a pillow at me, hitting me right on the face.
She came up quickly
“I’m sorry, I threw it a little too strong”
I just laid my hand on my cheek which hurt a little.
“Nah, don’t mind, it’s nothing” I said
She stood and came up to me and hugged me.
“I’m really sorry” she said as she batted her eyes next to my face, and started to put pressure on the hug.
She had started getting used to treating me as a little puppie or something like that, she sometimes said I was her little baby bro or sister, she switched it on occasions, I actually liked to be treated like that so I didn’t complain, it was nice also to have her as a somewhat older sister or brother, I mean she sometimes was a bit rowdy so that could count as brotherish behavior, but mostly she was cool, kind, and too funny to even complain about anything. We certainly bonded quickly.
“You know what?!” she said excited “We should go out tonight”.
“What?” I asked a bit excited.
“Yes, to a club” she said “Some girls from the magazine are going tonight to a new club that sounds cool”.
“But I’m underage” I said shyly.
“It doesn’t matter, I have been going to clubs since I was 16” she said “With just a bit of makeup all girls can do the trick”.
As she said this she was already going across the bathroom to her old bedroom, I started following her, a bit nervous and confused, but also kinda getting more excited, it was a weird feeling forming inside of me, it was taking over me. Leah went directly to the closet and started looking for outfits, she took a couple of dresses out, she took a look at herself at the mirror holding one of the dresses in front of her, then she took me to the mirror and did the same thing with the other dress.
“What do you think?” Leah said.
The feeling had taken over me, I was too confused about it, my stomach felt weird and I felt kinda dizzy, I wanted to play along but I was scared, my head was cloudy, it felt like adrenaline but in a bad way, suddenly a glimpse of memories came around, from when I was younger, a day when my dad was mad at my mom because she let me buy a doll at the toy store, then a day at my friend Eliza’s house, we were too young, like 7 or 8, her older sister painted Eliza’s nails, and I asked her to paint mine too, her older sister laughed at me saying that was gay, then the day that Eliza was having a sleepover for her 13th birthday and I wasn’t invited because I was a boy, I remember that I cried that night and that my parents got in a fight because something I said about it, there were several flashes, random memories of moments I had forgotten and that still seemed somehow cloudy.
“I’m a boy Leah” I said quietly.
Suddenly I was hyperventilating, It seemed as if I was about to cry, I probably was about to cry actually. Leah looked at me scared, I was having a breakdown and she could tell, she hugged me, as I froze there, she was warm, she seemed worried.
“We can do something else” Leah said quietly while stroking my hair.
I just stared at the mirror, at the dress Leah had just dropped to the floor. Where did all this came from?, I had completely forgotten about that stuff, It didn’t came back that last time Leah made me wear women’s clothes and makeup, it was as if it was triggered by the dress, the moment, or something else I wasn’t aware of.
“It’s ok” Leah said quietly “It’s all ok, Dani”.
She stroke my hair, with one hand and hold me to her body with the other hand. My mind was getting more calm as I took a few deep breaths. Leah could feel I was getting better.
“Are you alright, Dani?” Leah asked.
I was coming back to the moment, to the excitement, to the reality and getting rid of the memories again, yet I was confused about this feeling, it all came out of nowhere.
“Yeah, I’m alright I think” I finally said “Don’t know what came over me”.
“Your face went pale, you scared me!” Leah said.
“I’m sorry” I said a bit ashamed.
“Are you feeling alright? Was it my fault?” She said still hugging me “Did the dress overwhelmed you?”.
“Yes, I’m ok, I guess I haven’t eaten right or something” I said lying a bit.
I didn’t want to make obvious that my sudden breakdown was the fault of the dress and the excitement I felt, I didn’t want to accept what I was feeling, once again I wanted to be cool about it.
“Are you sure?” She said “We can do anything else you want”
“No, let’s go out” I said, a bit too confidently.
I looked at the dresses and turned back at Leah
“Just not on a dress” I said laughing
Leah started laughing with me, and hugged me closer to her
“That’s ok Dani” she said “Well go casual today”
She said this and took out a white oversized white t shirt of her closet and threw it at me, then she took an old red turtleneck shirt and went to the bathroom to get changed, I changed into the white t shirt she gave me, I tucked it a bit into my jeans as it was too oversized, It ended up looking a bit trendy, as a retro look, I could notice all this time spent with Leah had made me a bit more aware of my fashion sense, this got me thinking again about how I ended up not wearing the dress. The bathroom door opened, and Leah was already changed.
“Just let me touch up my makeup and we’ll get going” She said as she opened the door.
“That shirt looks good on you “ she said.
“Thanks I guess” I said.
I entered the bathroom and stood next to her, watching her do her makeup, she was doing eyeliner, she was actually very good at it, I was hypnotized, as she finished she turned to me and smiled, then she left the liner on the countertop, and took her nude lipstick, she looked at me in the reflection.
“Do I look good?” She asked holding her lipstick.
“I would look better” I said jokingly.
It was certain, I had no control of myself or what I said, It was as if I was actually asking for it, it seemed like my clumsy way of pretending disinterest while at the same time actually looking very interested.
“I bet!” She said with a smirk
She was the best, she had already gave up on her anxiety to also try and make me feel relaxed, she finished her makeup and looked at me firmly.
“Want some?” She said holding her makeup bag to me and smiling.
I freezed a moment. She laughed.
“I’m kidding, we don’t want another panic attack” She said as she was turning to leave.
“Just a bit” I said shyly.
She turned back smiling.
It ended up being a fun night, she made me forget about the world surrounding me, so I didn’t notice if anyone stared at me or something, I just had a good time without thinking much about how my face was made up as a girl.
A week had passed and my online classes had started, so I spent bit more time glued to the computer, Carla was bit more at ease now because she knew I would go out from time to time, either by myself or with Leah, she was really happy to see that Leah and I had become so close to each other. Leah would come and lay on bed talking non stop about her job, the gossip and trends of the fashion industry and whatever issue has making her feel bad that day, I enjoyed it as I never saw it as a distraction I could easily concentrate on whatever I was reading on the screen and she wouldn’t mind if I didn’t talked back.
In the days after my little breakdown I kept thinking about it, I was intrigued by my feelings, I kept going back to watching my reflection wearing makeup on the past to occasions it had happened, I was at the same time more scared of the women’s clothes we had kept, yet I sometimes would picture me in different kind of dresses and makeup looks, it was somewhat exciting to picture me as a girl, and at the same time a weird nervous feeling would take over me.
Leah stopped pushing me to wear anything after that time, and that would make me more anxious, I kinda wanted her to push me to wear a dress or do my makeup, so I ended up being the one who made it happen, like a time she was trying a new lip gloss on the shared bathroom and I saw her, wanting her to make me wear it I said “It looks so pretty”.
“It does, doesn’t it?” She said as she turned smiling at me.
Then she just put it back on her bag and went back to my room, I was shocked she hadn’t said something like do you want to try it as she would have normally reacted before the last time, so I had to push a bit further.
“Yes, it does” I said quickly “I will have to try it sometime”.
“Sure, whenever you want” She said as she went directly to the bed.
Again, not even a single push for me to do it at the moment. She was killing me.
“Uhmm can I try it now?” I said finally.
“Of course, Dan, it’s on my purse” she said not even looking at me.
I was in panic somehow, I thought I was actually acting cool and that she would think I was just being funny without an actual interest in wearing it, while at the same time I was dying to try the lip gloss and the rest of her makeup, end up in heels and a dress, yet none of it was going to happen, and I didn’t wanted to make it too obvious, so I just stood up, took the gloss from the purse and went to try it in front of the mirror, my hand was shaking, she looked at me when I came back and laughed.
“You’re so silly” She said and then came back to ignoring me and looking at her phone.
Similar scenes repeated, she wasn’t mean or anything, she just didn’t made a deal out of me wearing makeup as she would have normally done, we could talk about lots of stuff but if I would mention anything to push her to make me look girlish, she would smoothly change subject or just don’t make a big deal out of it.
So this particular day, Carla came into the room while I was in the computer and Leah on my bed.
“My God, Daniel!” she said as she saw me “Your hair is out of control, you really need a haircut as soon as possible sweetie”.
“Let the kid be” Leah said.
“Yeah sure, if we let him be he’ll end up with longer hair than us, already with the clothes he wears he looks almost like a girl” Carla said.
I froze as she said that, already turning at her.
“Don’t look at me like that” Carla said “It’s not like I’m going to ground you, but I worry what your mother would think if she saw you like this”.
“Uhmm” I began “Ok?”.
“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to do it” Leah said.
“Let the kid alone Leah” Carla said “Haven’t I been telling you to let Daniel be a boy and stop trying to turn him into you”
I was now more shocked, they had talked about me, I thought Carla wasn’t actually aware of my little adventures with femininity.
“It’s ok” I said out of nowhere “I have also asked for it”.
That was a weird confession to make, yet it came out of me naturally, Leah giggled as I said it, and Carla was bit shocked.
“Well, then that’s up to you Daniel” Carla said.
“You see, you’re the one trying to control him” Leah said in a joking way to her mother.
Carla rolled her eyes at her daughter.
“You can do what you want Daniel, just don’t let this crazy daughter of mine put ideas in your head” Carla said “If you want to cut your hair I can make an appointment at my best friends salon, just let me know”.
Carla left and then I was alone with Leah and my thoughts, but now Leah was non stop talking to me about what just happened.
“Dani, you know I have grown to love you like a sibling” Leah began “And since my mom told me to stop treating you as a girl I’ve tried to not push you into anything”
“But how did she knew” I said
She laughed
“Kid, she knows everything that happens in this house” Leah said “The thing in the end is that you’re a boy and that I’ve been actually pushing you to be more like a little sister, and we think that you go through with it because you don’t know anyone else and you want to please me as your only friend here”
Wow, they had really talked about me I thought
“So if you don’t want to do something just say it” Leah said “And if you want to let your hair grow as Rapunzel’s or maybe Samson, let it grow, also if you want to cut it let me know, you’re free to be yourself, don’t just go with the flow”
I felt so weird, Leah and Carla had really taken me as family in this month and were I thought worried about me somehow, this was something I wasn’t too used to, in my house my parents weren’t affectionate, my dad was a serious guy and wanted me to be like him.
My eyes got watery and Leah came to hug me, I hugged her back.
“I don’t know why I’m crying” I said in a cracked laugh as tears came through my face.
Leah just laughed and hugged me stronger.
“We care about you, Dani” Leah said.
“Thanks, Leah” I said breaking the hug “I just got emotional, I’m not used to talk about feelings”.
“I’m all about them Dani, feel free” Leah said with a smile.
“So you want to cut your hair?” Leah added.
“I’ll think about it” I said “I actually like it long”.
“I like it too Dani, lot’s of men have long hair, and few pull it off as good as you” Leah said.
I was feeling so numb in feelings that I went full with the moment.
“Leah?” I began “Do you think it’s weird that I actually like wearing makeup”
She was a bit shocked by the question.
“Well some boys wear make up” She said.
“But not red lipstick” I said blushing.
“It’s because they can’t pull it off like you” Leah said.
“I think it’s weird” I said “But I liked it, wearing makeup and girls clothes”
I was shocked to hear me say it, I had thought it before, but it was way too different saying it outloud. Leah who is mostly cool, seemed shocked.
“Had you done it before?” Leah asked.
“Not really” I said “But I remember asking my friends sister to paint my nails”
I was almost whispering I feel, it was becoming too personal and to weird of a subject to talk about, minutes ago we were in a totally different mood. Leah grew a huge smile
“Don’t laugh” I said
I was so embarrassed, I started shaking.
“Hey, I’m not laughing at you” Leah said as she put her hand on my waist. “I’m just glad you trust me with this”
She hugged me again.
“Please don’t tell your mom anything about what I just told you” I said.
“I won’t” She said still hugging me.
Silence fell as we hugged, I felt calm in between my nervousness, I felt I could trust her.
“Do you want me to do your nails?” Leah said suddenly breaking the silence.
Leah had promised to keep a secret that I liked wearing girl clothes and makeup when I was with her, we were hiding it from her mom so that she wouldn’t make any weird ideas in her head or tell my parents, which was the thing that worried me the most. I was already 3 months in my online classes and I was killing it, I could arrange my study schedules and just take the exams, which I was managing to do just fine.
I loved having Leah as friend now more than ever, even though we were seeing less because of her work, it was becoming more demanding, which according to her was a sign that she was being taken more serious and that she probably would land a permanent job in the magazine. In the few occasions she had free time we would see each other, it wasn’t always dress up time, but from time to time she would practice makeup looks on me, and I enjoyed every bit of it, still I liked to pretend it was all something I liked doing mostly as a silly playful thing, trying to hide the fact that I was somehow discovering a side of me I hadn’t had the chance to be before.
“You’re an addict” Leah said.
I was reaching for the lip balm she kept on her glovebox as soon as I got in the car. I laughed.
“I’m not, my lips are chapped!” I said.
“Yeah right”.
I applied it watching my reflection on the visor mirror, it always gave me a rush to apply makeup, it made me smile.
“That one is very colorful, Dani, people are going to notice” Leah said.
She policed my makeup use, trying to help me hide my likeness for wearing it from her mother and people we frequented.
“Do you think so?” I said, still looking at my reflection, then turning to see her
She turned back to look at me
“Well maybe it doesn’t show that much” She said as she looked at me “Anyways it is up to you, I don’t mind”
She used that kind of phrases to make me notice she could actually be right and it would be up to me if I wanted people to notice it. She was driving me to a french class I was going to take, her mother pushed me to do something were I would meet people my age, so after a bit of convincing from Carla and Leah, I decided for a french class, at the embassy, Carla knew people there so it wouldn’t cost anything.
“Isn’t this too snobbish?” I said as Leah drove “To be the kind of person that learns french”.
“Well haven’t you met mother?” Leah replied laughing, “She’s the definition of a snob, and by adherence we, her little pets are pushed to become like her”.
We laughed, I really loved to have been accepted into their lives as one of them, I still spoke from time to time with my parents, but Carla and Leah were rapidly becoming a second family, and it seemed the feeling was both ways.
“Ok, Dani, here we are” Leah said as she pulled over
“Ugh!” I said as I reached to the backseat for my things.
Leah had lended me a little backpack to put my notebook and pencil case.
“Isn’t the backpack too girly?” I said.
“I would be more worried about your tinted lips and pretty eyelashes” She said with a smirk as she payed attention to my face.
“Oh shut up!” I said as I jumped off the car. “Does it really show much?”
“Not that much, but if anyone pays attention they could probably tell” Leah said
I frowned and wiped my lips with a tissue as I stood with the door open looking at her,she then reached for the lip balm, and handed it to me
“Here, take it, so you can re apply it if you want” Leah said smiling at me.
“Aw thanks sis” I said.
I was beginning to call her sis more often.
“Love you, sis” Leah replied
My heart melted and my face blushed, which made her giggle.
“Love you too I said as I closed the door”.
So I went inside and looked for the classroom, I still had around 10 minutes until the class started, when I found the room there were only 2 girls inside, they turned to look at me.
“Is this the A1 Level?” I asked them as I stood at the door.
“Yes, you’re in the right place” One of them replied.
“Thanks”.
They both were seated in next to the wall in the middle of the classroom, one behind the other. As I usually do, I went directly to the back of the room and sat in the corner bench.
I still had the lip balm on my hand, and was about to put it inside the backpack.
“I have the same one! Don’t you love that Benefit line?” One of the girls said.
They both were looking at me, I froze a second, as if by not moving they would forget I was there.
“Uhm I” I said trying to find what to say. “I wouldn’t know, it’s my sister’s”
I thought I was safe, it seemed as a reasonable answer to make it clear I wasn’t a boy who knew about make up, which being honest was true, I hadn’t even paid attention to the brand or knew there was a line of those lip balms.
“You should keep it, it’s a great one” She said jokingly. “I’m Jenn”.
“Hi Jenn and uhm hi” I said while looking at the other girl.
“I’m Anna, hi Daniel!” Anna said, “Is your name Daniel like french Danielle?”
“Uhm, I don’t know, it’s more like Spanish pronounced Daniel, but I guess it sounds the same”
“Oh cool” Jenn said “You speak Spanish?”
“A little yes, but I never use it” I said
“That’s nice, I never learned a thing in Spanish class” Jenn said
“Yes, that’s cool that you already speak two languages and now you’re learning a third” Anna said.
I laughed.
“I guess it is, though most people would probably say I’m actually a nerd for it” I said.
“I’m a nerd too, don’t worry” Anna said.
“I’m not” Jenn said “I’m only doing this to please my father, but I guess it is kinda cool”
By the time the class was about to begin, around 12 more girls were in the classroom, I actually didn’t noticed it was all girl but me until later.
“Bonjour!” said the teacher as she came to the classroom.
Everyone was silent, she smiled and went to the desk at the front.
“Je m’appelle Clarie et e vais être ton professeur”.
Dead silence from everyone in the classroom. Claire laughed.
“My name is Claire, and I’m going to be your teacher” she said.
She began with teaching us to introduce ourselves -Je m’appelle to My name is- and then to introduce one another -Elle est blah - She is-.
“Elle est Danielle” Laura, another classmate said pointing at me
Me without noticing that in what she had just said, it was implied I was a girl, continued with the introductions
“Elle est Laura” I said.
The 2 hour long class had a little break, where some of the girls chatted, this is when I finally came to notice that I was the only boy in the class, something that, in a way, was going to be addressed later in class. By the time the class ended I was more confused with french than at the beginning but I was glad I took it because I was enjoying it, and Jenn and Anne were cool so in the end Carla was right in saying that meeting new people my age would be good for me.
“Alright, I’m just going to make sure everyone on the list is here, and the class is over” Claire said.
She took a look at the list with all the student names.
“Well yes, it seems you girls are the whole class” Claire said “Commonly we have a boy or two, and they always drop out, so since it is only girls this time I hope to see you all finish the full course”.
Oh I thought, she didn’t even notice I was a guy, even without makeup, it had happened before, I guess I do have a few feminine features and probably the long hair isn’t any help, but in the end people always figured I was a boy. I was surprised that no one else seemed to notice I was there, but then Anna turned to look at me and made a puzzled face.
Everyone was leaving and so did I, still confused as to why no one noticed I was a guy, I stood outside the building looking for the bus route on my phone.
“Hey!”
Anna was walking towards me waving her hands.
“Oh, Hi Anna” I said
“Hi! Hey I wanted to ask you uhm” she began
“Well I guess the right way to do it is” she made another pause
“What pronouns do you prefer?” Anna finally asked
I was now even more confused, back in town no one would ever ask a question like that.
“Uhm I… I’m a guy?” I said awkwardly.
“Are you asking me? I thought I was asking you” Anna said laughing.
“I’m a guy, uhm.. He… male pronouns” I continued with my awkwardness.
“Oh, I was right” She said blushing.
“I’m glad” I said.
“Everyone thinks you’re trans, uhm like a trans woman, oh but...” she said “are you a trans guy?, I’m sorry if i’m intruding much, it’s something I tend to do, you don’t have to answer”.
What? - I thought - Is this girl crazy.
“I’m not trans, I’m just a guy” I said now blushing.
“Oh, it’s just that your hair and you do have feminine features, and your backpack and the lipstick” Anna said.
“That’s why the teacher said it was just girls?” I said.
“I guess” Anna said “But the girls were talking about it inside”.
As she said this we saw some of the girls from the class come out.
“I need to cut my hair” I said thinking out loud.
“You don’t it looks pretty if you ask me” Anna said
Anna and I walked to the bus together, her house was close to mine so were going to take the same route. We passed in front of a fashion boutique with mannequins on the window, one of the dresses caught my eye.
“That red dress is pretty” I said.
“It is” Anna said “But you know that saying that doesn’t help your case, right?”.
“What? Can’t a guy just say that a dress looks pretty?”.
“I think you can, but it’s not that common, at least not in the guys who I know” Anna said.
We were standing outside the boutique, looking at the window.
“It really is pretty” Anna said while staring at it.
“You want to go in?” I said.
“Do you?” Anna asked puzzled.
“I don’t mind”.
We went in. Anna asked one of the girls at the store to see that dress, she gave it to us, and as we were watching it, she looked at me and how I was looking at the dress.
“You want to try it huh?” She said.
I blushed and looked at her, I did want too, how did she figured me out so fast?.
I nodded.
She handed me the dress and then said.
“So, you say you’re not trans?”
Author's note: I hope there wasn't much confusion with the name pronunciation, in the end the thing is that we hadn't adressed this before, but Daniel comes from a latin background, and his name is spanish Daniel which sounds different from english Daniel and sounds more like Danielle, which in spanish would be Daniela.
“You did what?!” Leah said.
“It just happened, it was something silly”.
“It isn’t something silly anymore Dani”.
Leah came to sit next to me in bed.
“Have you thought about it? About how you feel? What this actions may reflect about you?”.
I didn’t want to answer, mostly because I really didn’t have an answer. It all just happened, and I enjoyed it, it was something I had just discovered and didn’t put much thought to it, when I did my mind got foggy and I got anxious.
“I… no… I haven’t” I said turning my head to the floor.
Leah pulled my face to her, holding it with her hand, looking me straight in the eyes with a puzzled look.
“Do you like girls?” Leah said.
“Yes”.
“But like, do they turn you on?”.
“I think so”.
“Does wearing women's clothes turn you on?”.
“No… not really”.
She took a deep breath, still her hand on my face, pulled me closer to her and then out of nowhere planted a kiss on my lips, it was a sweet short kiss, I had never felt something like that and my body reflected it immediately.
“What the…” I said.
“You do like girls” She said with a smirk and then pointed at the bulge on my pants.
I quickly grabbed a pillow and covered my pants with it.
“Why did you do that?”.
“I wanted to find out, I feel you’re afraid of letting your true feelings out, so maybe I have to help you bring them out Dani”.
I was so confused, what a sweet kiss, now I wanted more, my body wanted more, it was like a sudden rush, blood pumping through my body, was I in love with Leah?, so many feelings.
“Do you feel the same way when you wear makeup and women’s clothes?”.
“Uhm no, definitely not at all”.
“Ok well, that tells us something, it’s not a kink, uhm have you ever watched gay porn?”.
“What?!”.
What the hell was going on, she was out of her mind.
“Well, maybe that way you can figure out if you’re turned on by guys”.
“I haven’t, no, do you think…”.
“Yes, I think you should try it, it’s only normal to watch porn”.
She had a weird smile on her face, and suddenly I could concentrate on anything else than her lips, I still had the feeling on them on mine, and as this thoughts came over me, I started to feel my body reacting again.
“Uhm... right now?”.
“No!l I don’t want to see you jerk off!”
“I won’t jerk off”
“Well we don’t know that Dani, you might get a strong urge and I don’t want to see that”
“Stop it! First you kiss me, then you tell me to watch gay porn, it’s all too much”.
“Well no, first you got yourself women’s clothes, and then you got obsessed with wearing my makeup, and then you go out and buy a dress with a girl you just met in french class, so don’t make it as if I’m the one coming with the weird stuff, I’m just trying to help you out”.
I feel my heart going fast, she was right, it was all to weir, she was probably doing the right thing by helping me figure this shit out, but I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to be weird, to be not normal, I wanted things to stay the same, the same where she would help me look like a girl and and nothing bad would happen, and no one would judge me, I looked at her, lost in my head, looking for some comfort.
“Everyone at french class thought I was a trans girl”.
She brought her arm around me and pulled me close to her in a hug, my eyes were teary.
“Are you worried they might be right?”.
I took a deep breath.
“I don’t know, I just want to be normal”.
I was crying already, like I hadn’t cried since I was probably a baby, I was overwhelmed with everything.
“No one is normal Dani, I am not normal and certainly you’re not normal either, but that doesn’t change anything, you have to find yourself to be happy, maybe you’re trans, maybe you’re not, but you have to figure out who you are, I’m just trying to help you, I don’t want you to be hurt”.
“Thanks” I manage to say in between my sadness.
“And if you’re going to go around buying girl clothes with strangers, we have to make sure you’re safe Dani, I don’t want anyone to hurt you in any way, that’s why I’m pushing you, because you have already went out of your way to do crazy things, and that’s ok, but let’s just make sure we figure you out, before you do it again, so we can build an armor and shield around you before someone tries to harm you”
She was stroking my hair, she was right, she was so sweet. I was already getting more calm.
“So, should we watch gay porn” Leah said, and we both started laughing.
Author's note: Just a tiny chapter following the ending of the last one, and getting us prepared to the discovery journey that Daniel is going to take
This was just a regular day in my life, I arrived at my house after school and changed out of my school uniform into regular clothes. It was always the same routine, I would change, then help my mom to set the table, and we would eat together with my father. Then as I finished eating with my parents the doorbell rang, I went to answer the door.
It was Laura and Stephanie, my two best friends (probably my only friends), we all lived on the same street, but attended different schools, so we always hung out afterwards.
“Hey Alex, we’re going to Steph’s house to watch TV, can you come?”.
I turned to see what my parents said. “Go I’ll do the dishes today” said my mother while rolling her eyes jokingly.
I guess she liked me hanging out with Laura and Steph after school, since I didn’t have any other friends; I was a shy, skinny 16 years old, didn’t like sports, and didn’t speak much, so there wasn’t much in my favor to making friends; Laura had been my friend since she came to live next door 3 years ago, she was very outgoing, loved sports and was always trying to make new friends, so when she came to live here she immediately found the other 2 kids around her age and forced them (or at least forced me) to be friends, I didn’t complain much, It was nice hanging out with them. We mostly watched movies and music videos while they would talk for hours as I listened and from time made fun at them for their silliness.
We arrived at Steph’s house and went upstairs to her bedroom, we all took places in bed, Steph turned the TV to MTV, and they started chatting as I mostly focused on the video that was playing on tv it was “The All American-Rejects - Swing, Swing”. I didn’t know what was it with that video but I loved it.
“I haven’t showed you Laura!” suddenly screeched Steph “Mom got me a makeup kit and nail polishes today because of my good grades” .
She then ran to her closet, where next to her clothes was a shelf in which she stored her accessories, there she took a makeup case and brought it to the bed.
Laura had been obsessed with makeup for the last couple of months, so she was losing it with everything that she found in the case. “Oh my god Steph! I’m so jealous, my sister is now not letting me use any of hers and mom says she’s not buying more for me”.
“Well while you’re here we can both use it, we can now practice more looks” said Steph as she began to apply pink lip gloss in front of the mirror on her closet door.
I was holding my laugh about their excitement about it, it seemed kinda dumb to me to be to be so invested with makeup.
“I see your smile Alex! Stop making fun of us!” snapped Laura at me, while throwing a pillow to my face, she was now starting to paint her nails with a glitter polish.
“We can also make fun of you weirdo! I see how obsessed you are with Tyson Ritter, you make a silly face whenever that video starts playing” said Steph while laughing
I blushed immediately, feeling something weird on my stomach.
“Hey don’t be like that” said Laura “He’s not being mean to us, don’t be mean to him”.
She was my hero, she always defended me when someone made a comment about me, as if she was big sister protecting her younger.
Steph rolled her eyes at her “I’m kidding, you know it” and continued doing her makeup in front of her mirror
“And you” said Laura pointing at me “I know it’s not the case, but we don’t mind if you like boys or whatever, we love you anyways silly, so take off that scared face” and continued with her nails as if anything had happened
“I don’t like boys” I muttered at them
Laura bursted a laugh “I know silly, really don’t make a big deal of it, just stop thinking about it”
Both of them laughed and continued doing their stuff, comparing looks and pointing at looks on magazines, while I just laid watching videos and for moments staring at them, they did look pretty in some of the looks they tried.
It was weird a weird feeling I was left with, I hadn’t really thought about me possibly being gay, I liked girls, I was more obsessed with Avril Lavigne than any other performer, but that comment just got me thinking what if that was the reason I never really fit in any place, maybe I was different.
When we left Steph’s house, Laura and I were walking to our house together, it was starting to get dark.
“Do think I could be gay” I asked Laura in an almost silent sound
She stopped walking and holded my arm for me to stop to “First of all, as I said early If you were, you’re my best friend and that wouldn’t matter silly, and second, I don’t think you are gay, I think you’re a weirdo with too much feelings and doesn’t know what to do with them because you’re always so shy, but in the end is up to you, do you think you are? Or then why would you ask?”
“I don’t know”
With this she pulled me closer and gave me a kiss, first it was a simple touch of our lips, then after a second of silence we kissed again this time she was really into it, she stopped, stared at me and smiled
“Now you can have a better idea” she said smiling and then ran to her house.
I was just left there, more confused than ever, in the middle of the street and it was now completely dark
Next day was as every other day, and when the time came the doorbell rang and I was again on my way to Steph’s house with her and Laura. Laura was acting all normal, that made me doubt if I had imagined what happened last night.
There I was again watching TV and now it was “No Doubt - Hey Baby” playing, Laura was at that moment looking at a magazine, and Steph was painting her nails on the floor while also watching TV, then she just stand up in a jump super excited.
“We should do the makeup looks of the next videos that come up Laura!” She said as she looked her way “Like whichever it comes up, we have to try and do the look, we can take turns, like the next video is me, and the one after that is you”
“Oh my! That’s a great idea” Laura said laughing “What if something we don’t like comes out?”
“We’ll do it, that’s the fun part” Steph answered while laughing
As always I just layed there on my spot, holding the laughter at their silly excitement.
“I’m looking at you Alex! Don’t push me!” said Laura, hearing this made it impossible to hold the laugh this time, so I just started to laugh real hard
“Shh you two!” said Steph, the video was ending “Ok so whatever comes, we’ll do it, who goes first”
“I want to go first” said Laura
And as she said this, “Blink 182 - I’m feeling this” started playing. I knew this video from memory, I kinda loved the part when everyone was in underwear and and going crazy through this school/jail, so I started laughing again
“So you’re doing the look of any of the guys in the band?” I said laughing at Laura
“I can do the schoolgirl look dumdum” said Laura “Steph lend me your school uniform and I’ll go change”
Steph was also laughing at the idea, but agreed to the schoolgirl look, she gave Laura her uniform and Laura disappeared to the Bathroom.
“You’re next Steph!” screamed Laura from the bathroom
“This is silly, what if a video comes out with no girls?” I asked Steph “I mean technically Laura should have dressed as any band member from Blink 182”
“Now you’re the expert on the game we just invented?” said Steph while laughing “Well you can do it if is only boys, is there where you’re going to?”
“No, it’s your turn anyways, Laura said it, I was just trying to put some sense to the game” I muttered kinda regretting opening my mouth
And then “Eminem - Sing for the moment” came on TV, I laughed so hard as it started playing
As laughed, Laura came running to the room “What? What was the video for Steph”, as she came in and saw the video started laughing too “Seem’s you’re Mr. Marshall Matters now”
Steph rolled her eyes at her while laughing“Ugh, whatever, you look more funny than I will”
I hadn’t payed attention to Laura, who had made her hair look very similar to the girl in the video, with very little makeup on her face and her uniform she looked pretty.
“Now take of your clothes” said Steph jokingly, and we all started laughing
It was kinda fun now, everyone took it as a joke, the game didn’t seemed as silly to me anymore. Steph went to her closet took a bunch of stuff and began to leave stopping at the door
“Alex, if I’m doing this, then you’re next!” and then she disappeared to the bathroom
“So will you do it?” asked Laura
“I don’t know” I said trying to look away from her, she looked too pretty
“You never know anything, or what” Laura said as she pushed me to make her space in the bed. “Just do it, it will probably be a boy look as that’s all that has come up”
“Ok, I will”
And as soon as I said it “Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles” started playing
“You gotta be kidding me” I muttered “Really MTV? This goes after Eminem?”
Laura laughed “You can do the next one, haha, what are the odds”
“Thanks” I said in relief “I just hope Steph doesn’t come out while it is playing”
The next 3 minutes I was in panic watching the video, thinking that if Steph came out she would make me wear her clothes and try to make me look like a girl, it wasn’t that she was mean to me, she was like that to everyone and she always liked to try weird things so she thought everyone should be like her in that way.
And as the video was coming to the last minute Steph bursted through the door wearing an oversized green sweater and a blouse wrapped over her head pretending as Eminem’s bandana.
“My god! You look so bad ass!!” said Laura while clapping at her “You really did great haha”
“So should I take out the red nail polish” said Steph since what was on screen when she looked was Vanessa Carlton’s hands
“He has agreed to do the next look that comes up” said Laura before Steph started pushing me to do it “Is that right, Alex?”
“Yes, whatever” I said getting a little nervous
“Whatever you said?” said Laura
Steph laughed “Yes he did, whatever comes up he’ll do it!”
“Well I meant as whatever in that I don’t care about this” I was getting more panicked, the video was about to end
“If you don’t care then do whatever comes up, I’m dressed as a boy” said Steph “And I don’t see you judging me, so it will go both ways”
“Let’s hope it’s another boy video” Laura said putting her arm around me, like trying to give me support in my predicament
And as we all watched the last piano notes play from the video, the next one came up “Kylie Minogue - Can’t get you out of my head” I wanted to run away as fast as I could
“So it wasn’t a boy” said Steph as we all saw Kylie in her yellow car at the video’s start
“But there must be boys in the video” I said “As when it was Laura’s turn”
“They’re just backup dancers, that doesn’t count” said Steph
“Let’s just see and decide” said Laura trying to be impartial, or so I thought
Then the first boys came out, indeed backup dancers way in the back
“There are guys” I screamed pointing
“They are way too in the back Alex, it’s not the same, mine was a main part of the video” said Laura
I looked at her in shock, I was hoping for her to help me
“I have already given you a chance Alex, you said no to the previous video, so…”
“And there are different Kylie looks in the video, look” said Steph in excitement “I’m so jealous of you Alex, which look you want to try? You can pick that”
I felt as if I was going to faint, I didn’t knew what to do
“Just do it, we’ll do your makeup and it will be just something silly we did this one time” said Laura
They were both looking directly at me, I felt as they were lionesses and I was their prey
“I guess I’ll do it then” I said
“Oh my god thanks! I love you!” started screaming Steph as she jumped to hug me and give me a kiss on the cheek “ You will love the final result, I promise” she said as she ran for her makeup case
“But he hasn’t decided on a look” Laura said pointing at the TV where now Kylie was wearing bright red lips
“Not that one” I said immediately
They both started laughing because of my quick response
“I’ll do the previous one I guess” I said trying to make them stop laughing
“That’s awesome” said Steph and throwed at me her white tracking pants “Go put this on and then come back”
I tooked them, and looked at Laura hoping she would say it was just a joke and that I didn’t have to do it
“Go on, we’ll get everything ready to do your makeup”
As she said this all my hope faded and I stood up knowing there was no way out of it.
I changed my jeans for the pants very quickly they were a little bit more tight than my jeans, but not as much as I thought they would. I came out and they were super excited waiting for me.
“Perfect, now take off your shirt” Steph said
“What, why?!” I said
“You have to do the full look, silly, we all did” Laura said as she walked towards me, holding something in her hand.
“Do I really?” I still tried to get out of it
“You do” Laura said as she came and started to take of my shirt, I just left my arms loose as surrendering.
As she took it off she slid something else through my arms
“Wait what is it?”
“A bra, you need one below your jacket” Steph said
“What?!” I said while i looked down to my chest as Laura finished putting it in place
“It’s a sports bra, it isn’t as bad” she said.
I just took a deep breath and lowered my head, what had I got into.
“Put this on” said Steph
She handed me the matching jacket to the tracking pants, it wasn’t was short as the one in the video, I put it on and zipped it all the way up
“Not like that!” Steph said, your boobs have to show
“I have no boobs”
“Well we can fill your bra, but it has to show so we can have the look”
“Let him wear it like that while we do his makeup” said Laura, which gave somewhat of a relief
They sat me down on the bed, and began to apply everything to me, I had seen them do this things on themselves a lot of times so I kinda had an idea of what they were doing, they applied foundation first, then Steph applied pink blush to my cheeks, Laura came really close to my face to do my eyes
“Don’t blink” she said as she got the lip pencil closer to me
She lined my eyes, while Steph left the room to apparently get her moms breast pads for me to use. As she finished lining them, she said close your eyes so I can do the shadow, I closed them and could feel her breath as she was too close to me, then out of nowhere I felt her lips on mine, she gave me a gentle and quiet kiss not like the one last night, then she continued doing my eyes
“That was your reward for doing this” she said as she finished with my eyes.
I opened my eyes and stared at her face so close to me, maybe she was right, I wasn’t gay, it was just a silly thought.
Steph came to the room holding the pads and smiling
“Alex, you look so cute, you’re the prettiest of us” she said as she came to me and unzipped my jacket
“Thanks I guess” I said, my attitude towards this game had now changed completely thanks to my reward
“See I knew you will be grateful once you did it, you just have to give things a try, girl”
Laura laughed at her comment “Such a hot girl now”
I smiled at them while they admired their work.
“Ok so we’re only missing your lip gloss” said Steph, and in a moment she already had the tube in her hand, and was applying it
“Done!, now take a look”
And I stood up and turned towards the mirror, it was amazing, even with my short hair I looked as a girl, it was another person
“Wow” that was all that could come out of my mouth
“I know, what a babe” said Laura
We all laughed and continued joking around, Steph asked permission to change for the next artist that came up, and it was Avril Lavigne, still not as girly as she wanted but was better than Eminem, we continued watching videos in our costumes, when a video we hadn’t seen before came on. “t.A.T.u. - All the things she said”
We felt silent as they kissed, we knew about gay people, but I don’t think we had ever seen such a direct video about a lesbian couple, we couldn’t utter a word, for the first time I think they were as quiet as I normally am. When the video ended there was a commercial break, we were still quiet when Steph began
“Well that was something, wasn’t it” she turned to look at us “It was a great video, do you think they are a real couple?”
We just stared back at her
“Maybe, I guess” said Laura “If they weren’t why would they do it?”
“Well you two kissed and you’re not a couple” Steph said
We both blushed
“You told her about last night?” I asked Laura
“Last night too?!” Steph screamed “I saw her give you a kiss when she was doing your eyes”
I felt so dumb for not thinking about that
“Are you a couple?” Steph asked
Laura who had remained silent though all this stood up, I thought she was too ashamed and was going to leave
“No we’re not, a kiss doesn’t mean anything” she uttered
And then walked towards Steph and kissed her, I lost it, I was in complete shock, I was sure I had gone crazy, they continued kissing for what felt like an eternity, probably was less than 30 seconds, then they separated, Steph opened her eyes wide still with her mouth open, this is the girl that doesn’t get shocked and now was as lost as me
“See, and we’re also not a couple” Laura said
“But, I mean…” Steph was trying to find words “This was my first kiss”
“Really?” Me and Laura asked at the same point
“Of course, I don’t go kissing everyone on my way as it seems you do”
“Uhmm, sorry” Laura said, her eyes started to get watery
“Don’t be” Steph said, rushing to hug her trying to prevent the tears “I just, I didn’t expect it, I’m still confused at what is going on, to be honest”
I was confused too
Laura started crying “I’m confused too, I think I’m a lesbian, that’s why I kissed Alex, I wanted to see if I liked kissing a boy”
Now it kinda started to make sense
“Ok..” said Steph while hugging her “So… are you in love with me?”
“No!, this was just a test for me, to see if I liked kissing you more than I liked kissing Alex” she said while hiding her face from me
“Oh” escaped from my mouth
“Oh indeed” said Steph “And did you liked it? Because I surely did girl, where have you been practicing that you’re so good at it?”
Steph was coming back to her normal self
“I did, but it was different”
“But then, what is the conclusion?” Steph asked while gesturing with her face for me to stand up and join them
I did and hugged them
“I may be bisexual” she said as she turned to face us
“Well looking at our creation, I may be too for Alex” Steph said, we all laughed
The rest of the night we shared our thoughts about sexuality, Steph said that she was mostly sure she liked boys except now for me in girls clothes and probably Laura, I confessed that I also had the doubt until Laura kissed me and now was mostly sure that I liked girls, and Laura admitted she was convinced she was bi, she had liked kissing both, and had a crush with a girl at her school who she knew was a lesbian.
The 2000’s were beginning, and we were teenagers learning about life and ourselves, this definitely lead for some interesting moments between us during those years.
From that day when I was crossdressed as Kylie Minogue to now, there have happened too many things with the three of us. I became a little bit more outgoing, maybe not at school or at home, but at Steph’s and Laura’s house I was outgoing, they began to use me as their guinea pig for testing makeup looks, and by their suggestion I began to let my hair grow because they said it would look more cool like Tyson Ritter’s, yet I knew they wanted me to have longer hair to test hairstyles too.
Me and Steph began dating after kissing each other to complete the full circle between the 3 of us, or that was what Steph said when she asked me to kiss her, and we continued making out several other times, until Laura pushed us to give it a try as a relationship.
We were surprised that she was ok with us two being a couple, since we still thought that she had a crush on both of us, and we both had made out with her two a few more times after those first kisses, yet it wasn’t the same with her, there was something more between us, and that’s how we started to grow closer to each other.
It was the summer vacation and Laura’s birthday was coming she was the oldest of us, she was turning 17, and we didn’t know what to expect from her upcoming party, she was going to invite people from her school and we didn’t knew much about them, Steph attended an all girls school and had many friends there, but besides me and family members she didn’t knew many boys, and even though I did attended a mixed school, I didn’t talked much there and tried to stay away from any social interaction, this was going to be a huge thing for us, and we knew that i was a bigger deal for Laura.
We were doing a sleepover at Laura’s house the night before her party, it was our own private party before the big one, and also this night were MTV’s Video Music Awards, so we had them as an excuse for the sleepover, commercials were playing on TV before the show started when I finally asked Laura
“So how many people is coming tomorrow?” Steph had forced me to get intel about the party, and this was me finally starting to ask questions after several mean looks for her.
“Maybe 15 or 20, I’m not sure” She said not thinking much about it
“And is she coming?” As I asked this I wanted to run away from there as fast as possible, I knew it was a sensitive subject. I was talking about Jessica(Jess) the girl we knew Laura had a crush with.
She turned to look at Steph with a cold look.
“Really? You send him to ask the tough questions?” It was apparently obvious that if it was for me I would have never asked about it
“Well you haven’t updated us on anything, it’s like you’re planning to get us killed at your party or something, why aren’t you telling us what’s the plan?” Steph was now exploding with all her questions, guesses and theories “Are your parents going to let us drink?, Are there coming many boys?, Is she really ugly and you’re scared will judge you?”
I knew this was between them so I stood up, to leave the room for a soda
“Where do you think you’re going?” asked Laura “You’re not leaving me here with her like this”
I laughed “You know this is between you two, I don’t want any of your drama, so if you want anything from the kitchen I’m going for a soda”
Steph gave me a mean look as trying to shoot lasers from her eyes “Bring sodas for us and popcorn, my dear”
Laura couldn’t hold herself laughing “Hurry, before she kills you”
I left and I could still hear Laura screaming “Run for your life dear, it’s too late for me”
When I entered the kitchen there was Sarah, Laura’s older sister, she was filling a bowl with popcorn
“Alex, so nice to see you here” She said smiling, she was always sweet to me, and mean to Laura and Steph
“Oh, hi Sarah, thought you were at the beach”
“I was, I came back today, my parents want me to babysit at tomorrow’s party, and they’re staying at the beach house tomorrow” she complained “They would have never been so open to a party like this when I was your age, she’s clearly their favorite”
I laughed, as I gathered the sodas for me and the girls
“So they sent you to get their snacks?, Are you their slave or what?” she said as she helped me close the fridge “Don’t let them treat you like that”
“They were starting to argue, so I left to save myself”
“Oh well, it’s ok if that’s the case” she said while she put her hand on my shoulder “You’re a smart boy, not like the losers I always date”
I blushed “Thanks, I guess”
“Don’t blush, you are, and you’re also very handsome, I like how your hair is looking now” and she moved her hand from my shoulder to my hair, caressing it.
“I’m jealous of that girl for being with you, you know?, If I was your age I would steal you” she was now getting closer to me, and talking with a softer voice
“ALEX IT’S ABOUT TO START!” Laura shouted
“I got to go” I said hurrying, thanking Laura for giving me a cue to leave this awkward situation.
“Don’t you forget something?” asked Sarah as I was about to leave. I turned back and she handed me her popcorn bowl “Take them, I’ll make more for me”
“Oh thanks” and I left almost running. She always enjoyed teasing me
I entered the room and they were now super friendly with each other, it seemed everything had been discussed, since now Laura was helping Steph do her right hand nails.
“Good! you’re back!” said Steph “Come sit next to me, I’m sorry for getting mad”
“Don’t worry, It was better to leave than to interrogate Laura”
I sat next to Steph who turned and gave me a kiss and hugged me
“Aww you’re so cute” said Laura
“Oh stop it!” said Steph to Laura as she broke the kiss “Now there is no secrecy, dear, she has told me everything”
I laughed “Ok, that’s great, you girls are crazy”
“What do you mean you girls” asked Laura “You’re one of us, silly”
We laughed and the program started, the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards, as the first notes of the song began to play Steph shouted “Oh my god, it’s Like a Virgin from Madonna my queen!” she was super excited, and then lost it when it was Britney Spears who was going to sing, while wearing a wedding dress, it was everything Steph liked
“This is too much for me” She screamed, Laura and I looked at each other and laughed
And then came out Christina and she was getting more and more excited, for me it was meh, I mean it wasn't awful, but I wasn’t that much into Madonna songs and wedding dresses.
“I want to get married in a dress like those ones” Steph continued praising the performance as Christina and Britney were rolling in the floor
It seemed to be over, when Madonna came out of the wedding cake scenery dressed as a groom
“My god, she looks really hot” said Laura
“She does!” Steph and I said at the same time.
There was something with red lips that I liked a lot, and to top it, the feminized men’s suit she was wearing, It was all amazing, we watched enjoying every second of it
“We have to learn that choreography” said Steph. We just laughed, knowing neither Laura or I would even bother at trying.
Then the big moment came, Madonna was kissing Britney, we all screamed in excitement, this was the kind of stuff that we now enjoyed watching, then she kissed Christina, we were amazed, and suddenly Missy Elliott came out, it too much stuff happening for us to process, and in a second, or what seemed like one, it was over
“That was so us” Steph said
We cracked laughing now, it was too much
“But I mean, It’s true, it’s like either one of you could be Madonna, in the middle of the other two” added Steph
“Well why couldn’t you be Madonna?” asked Laura “You have kissed the two of us too”
“Yes, but you did it first”
“So then only Laura can be Madonna” I added “Since she was the one that kissed us two that first time”
“You indeed have a point” said Steph, and then all excited added “Then you’re Britney, love!”
Laura bursted laughing “Your favorite one”
She was referring to the fact that I didn’t like Britney because she was too girly and had always refused for them to try her makeup looks on me.
“Come on Alex, let me give you a Britney look” said Steph in a begging voice
I just threw myself back into the pillows and closed my eyes knowing there was no way out of it this time
“Ok” I said
“This is the best birthday present ever Alex” she said with a smirk
By that moment Steph was already searching Laura’s closet for clothes
“You know she has it already planned out, right?” said Laura as she was bringing her makeup case to the bed
“Of course she has, probably she has every Britney look planned out for me already” I said surrendering to my fate
“Oh stop whining!” Steph said as she came with a bunch of clothes “You totally want to do this, but won’t admit it, I know you Alexander Samuel Miranda”
Laura was having the time of her life laughing at me, she also enjoyed a lot when Steph called me by my soap opera name as she referred to my full name
“I really don’t, I’m doing it so you will stop asking me to”
I really didn’t wanted, I was now more into the less pink frilly girl looks when it came to me trying makeup looks, as Amy Lee or Avril Lavigne, it was mostly eyeliner and not much else most of the times, and Britney implied girlier clothes and makeup.
“Ok whatever” she said handing me the clothes “I picked a look with jeans so you wouldn’t complain that much”
“Which one?” I asked while looking at the white blouse that came with the clothes
“The most appropriate for your predicament” she said starting to laugh “as you’re not a girl and not yet a woman”
Laura and Steph just laughed at this.
Before I went to change, Laura started to paint my fingernails in a coral pink shade, I was amazed that they even remembered the nail color Britney was wearing in the video. While Laura was doing my nails, Steph was doing her makeup as Christina Aguilera, at that moment Sarah came to the room and saw Laura doing my nails
“What the hell?” she said
“What do you want?” Laura asked at her
“Mom wants you kids to sleep early today, so that tomorrow we can have breakfast together”
“We’ll be at the breakfast table before any of you” added Laura “Now go away”
“Why do you let them do this to you Alex?”
I didn’t know what to answer
“Again, kiddo, are you their slave or their friend?” said Sarah while putting her hands on her waist
“He’s neither my slave or my friend, he’s my boyfriend and he does it because it’s fun, and it’s none of your business” snapped Laura at her
This was the first time I saw her confront Sarah, who I knew she didn’t like that much
“Silly girl” she said turning her back at her “She doesn’t deserve you Alex!” Sarah said as she left the room
“Ugh I hate her!” Laura said “I’m sorry girls”
“Don’t be, we know she’s a bitch” answered Steph “You don’t think you’re my slave do you?” she asked as she came sit next to me
“Of course I don’t” I answered
“Good” said Laura “Because you’re nails are finished and would hate it if you had a breakdown against this”
I laughed, we agreed to just leave the makeup stuff for another day, and just talk about the party and sleep. And that’s what we did, Steph and Laura removed their makeup while I changed into my pj’s, they had changed too.
They were sleeping on Laura’s bed and I was on sleeping bag in the floor, we chatted for a while, but the sleep defeated us.
The next day began pretty simple, we had banana pancakes with Laura’s family, we all sang happy birthday, they gave her a lot of gift boxed, and gave instructions to Sarah as they were leaving.
“Behave kids, we’ll be calling you later” Laura’s mom said as she stood in the door about to leave
“Don’t call them later, call them by their names!” Laura’s dad said as he came for his wife who was taking a lot of time saying goodbye’s
“Your jokes get worst every day dad” Laura said as she closed the door on them
“Only thing I can agree with you” added Sarah, and as the car started leaving she added “Now kids I’m the boss, so start treating me with respect or I won’t be buying you the booze”
“You’re buying alcohol for the party?!” Steph asked excited
“Yes, but maybe not for you”
I laughed at the comment, Sarah turned to me
“For you, I’ll buy everything you want handsome” Sarah added
I blushed, and Steph punched my arm
“It’s going to be enough for everyone, stop messing with them Sarah” Laura added as she started going upstairs to her room, we followed her
“I’m going to the store now, Laura” Sarah shouted at her
“Ok” Laura shouted back
“Bye lover” Sarah said and blowed me a kiss
Steph was red with anger “I can’t believe her”
“You know she’s just messing with you, don’t you” Sarah said as she jumped to her bed
“I know, but it still makes me lose it” Steph said while putting her arms around me and hugging me so tightly I thought I was going to puke all the breakfast “You think she’s ugly right?”
“Yes, I do, but please let me breath” I hummed as if I was about to lose all my breath
She laughed and gave me a kiss “You’re a clown”
I went to my house to eat with my parents and so did Steph, we came back at around 6 to Laura’s house which now had the floor filled with balloons music was already playing (Sean Paul - Get Busy) and there was a table full of liquor and sodas
“Wow you really went big for tonight, don’t you?” I said, I really hadn’t bothered to ask much about the party after I left the room last night for them to discuss, now that I think of it I didn’t even understood the secrecy Laura kept about the party
“So how many people is coming” I asked as last night
“Around 20” Steph replied this time
“And is she coming?” I continued
“She has to come!” Steph answered again
“And what about the boys? And is she ugly?”
Laura started laughing
“There are some boys and some girls coming, kinda half and half, and they’re cool and you have nothing to worry about”
“Well we have to make sure you end up with Jess, and we have somewhat of a plan” pointed Steph
“No, you don’t, you only have to make sure you have fun” Laura pointed at her
“Oh I’m sure I will” said Steph smiling
“And I’m sure I won’t”
They both gave me worried looks, It was as if for a moment they had forgotten that I had never been good at socializing, all my social skills were spent on them and there wasn’t much left
“I know you don’t like mixing with other people” started saying Steph
“And specially that you’re not a guy’s guy” continued Laura
“And that’s ok, I mean, I don’t like many boys, mostly I like you, and that’s it” Steph added quickly
“And if you’re really scared we might have a solution”
This began to sound weird to me
“We have noticed that you’re a little bit more outgoing when you’re one of us” said Steph
“What do you mean?” I was getting an idea of what they meant “I’m one of us right now”
“You know what we mean” said Laura “We talked about it yesterday while you left the room”
“And we both think it might be a good way for you to mix in” said Steph getting closer to me “This way you can be free, they won’t meet Alex, they’ll meet your alter ego female Alex”
I was terrified at the idea, but it kinda made sense, did it?
“But won’t it be worse if they find out I’m really a boy?”
“They won’t, we have seen you before, and we will be adding a couple more stuff so that you look perfect” said Steph getting excited
So it was already decided for me, they had everything planned out without me knowing. The sent me to the bathroom where a filled tub and a depilatory cream tube were waiting for me, I followed the bottle instructions, when I came out I wore the underwear they had left there for me, they were matching black, and bra was already padded.
I came out with a towel wrapped around my half-naked body, the tv was on, playing “Christina Aguilera - Can’t hold us down”. They already were dressed and made up, they looked great, Steph was in a short dark blue dress and blue heels, she had a beautiful necklace that matched her cascading earrings, she had curled her dark hair which fell perfectly on her arms, she had red lips and a simple winged line above her eyes, Laura was wearing a black leather halter top with matching pants they were so tight it was amazing to look, every part of her great figure was being complemented by this look, she had braided her thick brown hair to one side, and was rocking smokey eyes with a subtle pink gloss, she looked like a rockstar.
I was standing with my mouth open, half-naked, in front of them
“So what do you think?” asked Steph
“You look great, both of you” I said still amazed at their looks
“Well, practice has made perfect doesn’t it?” said Laura “Now let’s get you ready”
They had me drop the towel and made giggled at how I was wearing nothing but a bra and panties, then they gave what seemed to be the outfit that was between both of theirs, a silver halter dress that I couldn’t manage to put on myself as it was too tight, Steph helped me get into it.
“You already look gorgeous and we’re not even finished” said Laura while she admired me
They had me sit on the bed and then Steph was about to start when she asked me to close my eyes, and I didn’t understood why since she was only beginning and wouldn't be doing my eyes first, she never did, anyway I closed my eyes
“This may hurt” I heard Laura said as she pierced my ear
“Ouch! What the hell?!” I opened my eyes and saw their scared faces looking back at me
“Sorry?” said Laura
“We needed to do it, dear, please don’t get mad”
I didn’t knew what to say, I was mad but not because the piercing, but for not being told
“Go on, continue” I finally said “Just please no more secrets, I rather be prepared for the pain”
“Then you must know that we also got hair extensions for you” said Steph
“Those don’t hurt” quickly added Laura
“My god, why do I do this?” I said outloud
“Because you love us” said Steph as she came close to give me a kiss “Now, close your eyes again, we are still missing an ear”
“Why do I have to close my eyes if I already know what you’re doing”
“It kinda helps with the pain” said Laura as her hand came rushing to pierce my ear
I should have closed my eyes, it did kinda helped.
They placed hoop earrings on my lobes, and then they started applying extensions to my hair, as they finished they started with my makeup now for real, Laura had put my now long hair in a tail so that Steph could apply foundation, and right at this moment Sarah came in
“Don’t you know how to knock?” Laura complained
“You left the music playing while no one’s downstairs, and your guests should be arriving at any moment, so hurry” She said as she seemed to have missed me, she was about to leave when she turned back
“Alex?” she looked puzzled, then amazed “My god! you’re totally a girl now”
She came closer to see me
“I really don’t get why you do this, but you are cute as both a girl or a boy, you will surely break boys hearts tonight” She laughed and left the room.
I was in shock
“She recognized me, everyone will know I’m a boy” I started mumbling
“Don’t be silly” Steph said “They won’t”
“But she did”
“She figured it out because you’re the only one that was missing, and she know you, my friends have never seen you before” added Laura
“Yes, don’t let her ruin this Alex, we’re almost done, and she’s right, people should be arriving..”
The doorbell rang as she was finishing her sentence. This made Laura start to panic
“What if is her? What I’m going to do” she stood up and started walking in circles “ She can’t see me like this, I’m still not ready”
“What are you talking about?, I’m the one who’s not ready” I said trying to calm her
Was their plan working? Was I already being more outgoing?
“Alex is right, calm down Laura” said Steph while stopping her hand that was about destroy her hair in her frenzy “You don’t want to mess all our work, do we?”
Laura took a deep breath “You’re right, I’m going” she said determined
“No, you’re not” said Steph “You’re helping Alex with her makeup while you calm down, and I’m going to receive your guests”
Steph left the room, and then it was only me and Laura
“So how do you want your lips?” she asked
“Didn’t you had everything already planned out?”
“Oh yes, sure” she said while going through all the lipsticks, she picked one and started applying it, she was like in trance or something, then she finished my eyes, let my hair loose and said “You’re the prettiest one tonight”
She gave me a quick peck on the lips and turned to her closet, she took out a pair of black ankle boots with a tall heel and gave them to me
“Put this on and you’re ready to break hearts”
I was finished, she took a deep breath and smiled, it seemed she was now out of her trance
“We’re ready girl, thanks for being so cool about this” Laura said to me “I would not be able to handle this night without you here”
And then there we were, I was being introduced as another girl to everyone, I chatted with every single boy and girl there, me and Steph were introduced to Jess, she wasn’t ugly, she was a hot tomboy girl, the perfect girl for Laura. “50 Cent - In da Club” was playing.
Everything happened very quickly in my mind, suddenly I was a little bit tipsy and making me another drink when I felt a hand on my waist
“So you’re Laura’s best friend?” it was Charlie, a boy I had been introduced to earlier, he was a tall strong guy, he definitely was what you would consider a hot guy
I looked back at him “Yes I am, why would you ask me something we both know you already knew”
He laughed “I wanted an excuse to talk again with you, you’re pretty, and Laura told me you’re single”
I was confused by that, then I tried to find Steph, between all the people, she was in the couch with another guy, also very hot, and she had her hand on his leg, it seemed she was flirting with him
“Yes I am” I answered immediately after seeing that scene “I suppose you’re too”
I said while putting my hand on his arm, he smiled and blushed as I came closer
“It’s time for spin the bottle everybody!” shouted Steph suddenly
And everyone that was left here gathered in a circle on the floor, it seemed as if Steph had somewhat arranged everyone’s position on the circle, as she directed every person to a spot, even sitting me next to Charlie
“Ok so it’s very simple, you have to kiss whoever the bottle points to” Steph explained “Even if it is a girl kissing girl and same thing with boy”
“No way I’m kissing a boy” Charlie argued
That made me giggle, and my giggle made Steph give me an angry look
“It’s just a game, cutie, no one will care” I said to him while holding his arm again
Now both Steph and Laura were looking angrily at me
“Yes it’s just a game” added Laura who seemed nervous “No one cares”
So Steph began by spinning the bottle, and what are the odds, landed on me
“So you’ll do it?” Charlie asked excitedly
“Of course she will, it’s just a game” Laura said
I could notice that not only Charlie was amused by the idea, almost all the boys were getting excited just by looking at us before anything happened, but who seemed more intrigued in the circle was Jess, who couldn’t take her eyes out of me
“Let’s do it, I don’t care” I said
“That’s my girl” Steph said, and seemed to regret her choice of words immediately, so she just rushed to me and planted a great kiss on my mouth, I had no choice but to continue it
I could hear everyone was going crazy cheering for us, especially Charlie. When we finally broke the kiss everyone seemed puzzled
“That was really hot” said Jess outloud, she probably didn’t intended to because she turned red at the moment
“So are you lesbos or something” Charlie asked
“No we’re not” said Steph “We’re friends without fear to try new things”
We was amazed, you could notice his head was about to explode, and probably also the bulge in his pants, that made me laugh.
So we were back in the game, Charllie kissed a girl next to Steph, some other people shared kisses too, and then the hot guy that was with Steph earlier (Adam) got his bottle pointing at Charlie.
“No way, man!” Charlie said “Kiss her instead, it’s almost pointing at her”
He was referring to me, “No, no! You heard the rules, and you didn’t complained when we kissed, so you have to do it guys”
“Fuck!” Charlie exclaimed
“If you like the kiss, of course you can fuck too” I quickly added, everyone laughed at the idea
“Thought you were on my side” Charlie argued to me
“Kiss the boy and I’ll kiss you” I said without giving it a thorough thought.
“You don’t have to do that!” Steph shouted “He has to kiss him anyway”
Adam seemed to be getting really nervous, he stood up suddenly and walked towards us, he kneeled in front of Charlie
“Man up, it’s no big deal” and as he said this, he went directly for the kiss
This one looked very sloppy, yet it was kinda appealing to see, and it seemed that Charlie was starting to enjoy it, everyone felt silent it seemed they could not believe this was happening, suddenly Charlie pushed Adam to break the kiss. Adam was pale staring directly at Charlie, who by that moment turned towards me and started to kiss me, and out of nowhere came Steph to break us apart
“Ok, ok, we get that you’re horny, but let’s continue the game” said Steph kinda annoyed at the situation, for me it was funny that he thought he was now kissing a girl, yet he was just kissing more boys
“Needed to get a real kiss” said Charlie
“Well your kiss with Adam seemed very real to me” said Laura laughing “You seemed to enjoy it”
“Leave it” Adam said to Laura, with an annoyed look
“This is stupid” Charlie said and stood up “Want to come with me?”
He was looking at me
“Oh, uhmm, no?” I said
“No, she doesn’t, stop making a big deal about it man” Adam shouted
“Fuck this” Charlie said and left
Laura gave a sad look to Adam, now it started to make sense to me, I was so clueless to this stuff. The game went on, and only a couple of turns after, it happened, Jess had to kiss Laura, Steph couldn’t hide her excitement
“What are you waiting, don’t just stare!” Steph shouted
“It does is kinda silly” Laura said “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to”
Steph rolled her eyes at hearing this. Jess was mute with a puzzled face, she came closer to Laura very slowly
“Are you sure?” Laura asked now getting closer to Jess
“I am” Jess said and with that began to kiss her
It was the cutest, sweetest kiss I had ever seen, you could tell there was some story behind this, surely Steph knew every detail, and I was left only with the fact that Laura had a crush. They continued that cute kiss with everyone watching in awe
“What is this freak show?!”
Sarah had just came into this room and watched the scene.
Laura immediately broke the kiss, leaving Jess hanging in the same position she was. Hell was about to break loose, and Steph and I tried our best to stop it.
“Uhm, so let’s all go get drinks!” said Steph trying to avoid direct conflict with Sarah
“Oh no, no one is drinking anymore” Sarah said
“Sarah it was just a game” I finally said, standing in front of her
“The same game that got you dressed like that?!” Sarah shouted “Are you all faggots or what?”
Sarah turned to Jess “Are you her lesbian lover or what?” she was getting really mad
Laura bursted in tears and ran to her room, everyone seemed so confused, Steph started escorting them out of the house
“Hey, that was rude, she’s your sister, would you really hate her if this was more than a game?” I said, I don’t know where the courage to speak like this came from
“What are you saying?” She clearly knew “Is it true? She’s a lesbo?”
“That is something you should ask her, not me” I replied “And don’t do it like this, be nice to her”
I was reprimanding the meanest girl I knew, and was doing it while dressed as a girl, incredible.
She turned away from me and went to her room. As the room was left I noticed the music was still playing, I had stopped paying attention to it.
“On and on, reckless abandon
Something's wrong, this is gonna shock them
Nothing to hold on to
We'll use this song to lead you on” - Blink 182 - Reckless Abandon
“So? what now?” Steph said, she apparently was now standing behind me
“Now we leave”
And so we left to my house, we got there and just fell immediately to the bed, dressed as we were we fell asleep.
Second story, I’m mixing many memories from different moments, some real and some as I hope they had happened, and all of course is being fictionalized to make a little more sense than real life does. Thanks for reading, and please leave your feedback, since I’m new at this and want to read your comments.Also I want to know what do you think about the music choices, have you been clicking on the links to hear the songs while reading the story? That’s the soundtrack from my youth :)