Stuck On You

Life sure takes some rather interesting, heck, even what I'd call weird turns, let me tell ya!

I bet you won't believe that, just a few days ago, I was Ransom Bermondsey, up and coming movie and TV star here in wonderful LA!

Yeah, yeah, I'm not actually famous. Well, let me restate that, who I used to be wasn't actually famous.

This, then, is the story of what happened to me when my cousin Jezabelle and her twin sister Jazmin wreaked havoc with the Gloo!


See, there was a really big party at a big hotel in downtown LA last Friday night. My girlfriend Bella and I were there, having plenty of fun.

She had gotten this idea from her girl friend Penny of dressing us up as twin sisters, using various prosthetics and other aids.

After a bit of discussion, they decided fraternal twins would work best, so we looked quite similar, but my eyes are blue/gray, hers are green. We're both about the same height, 5'9" in stocking feet, and I've got a rather slim build due to all my running and swimming to stay fit here.

Anyway, at some point my twin cousins Jezabelle and Jazmin became involved and that was where things became slightly odd.

First, they wanted to apply all the feminine appliances and aids to both of us using this odd tube of stuff by the name of Gloo.

Well, it seemed harmless, so Bella and I agreed, and about an hour later, we sported almost identical looks. Oh, there was one other difference between us, making the possibility of us appearing to be fraternal twins more likely, I had copper blonde hair, hers was golden blonde.

Both hairstyles fell to about mid-back on us and featured small to medium curls throughout the length.

Well, to say that we looked absolutely stunning and totally luscious would be a drastic understatement. We were hotter than a live volcano!


Let's just say that the party was a smash! Lots of happy people having fun, tasty food, good drinks. Bella and I had a ball while we were there.

Well, to keep my identity safe, I was introduced to everyone as Rosa, Bella's twin sister from back home in Kentucky.

As we both had been raised in Kentucky as kids, talking that way sure had everyone laughing when people realized we were joking with them.

I have to say, though, I'm not sure what was in that last drink that Bella and I had there, it tasted okay but left us both feeling a bit woozy. We were able to get a cab back to our place, staggered in the door, stumbled into our bedroom and collapsed on the bed, me lying on top.

I have to assume that either Jezabelle or her twin Jazmin used that darn Gloo stuff again, splashing some in between us as we lay there.


My mother called the police on Monday afternoon after I had failed to show up for dinner on Sunday evening.

I'm not sure what was going on at the time, but from the records taken later on, the police didn't reach the house until 12:45 AM on Tuesday.

They bashed in the side door of the house, then found us in the main bedroom, still passed out from whatever that last drink was on Friday.

When they realized that we weren't responding at all to what they were doing, ambulances were called to take us to a hospital.

It was when the paramedics tried to roll us over so we could each be placed in an ambulance that they discovered we were stuck together.

It took all three male paramedics from both ambulances to lift the two of us up and carry us out to one of the ambulances.

We arrived at the hospital a short while later, where doctors soon figured out that Gloo had been used. That seems to have been a regular stunt of late, it seems, with over fifty emergency removals of clothing after someone had attached the items in question using Gloo.

Anyway, Bella and I were eventually separated, only the abdominal portions of our gorgeous gowns having been ruined in the process.

Somewhere along the line, one of the medical staff decided to test us to see why we were still out cold so long afterward.

The eventual discovery was that we'd been drugged with something that sort of mimics stasis by slowing breathing and heart rate a lot.

It wasn't too long after that before we were being injected with something to revive us, and we both awoke a few hours later.

As the story that had been told was that we were fraternal twins, they put us in a semi-private room together. No surprise there.

It was around mid-morning on that Tuesday that we learned that more than three days had gone by without our having known it.

Bella looked thoughtful for a moment, then the look changed to horror as she let out a wordless shriek and fell back onto her bed.

When I asked her what was wrong, she said, "You've had the odds, ends, bits and bobs on for more than three days. They're permanent now!"

Then it became my turn to have a bit of a freak-out. What the heck was I going to tell my family? I'm a girl now thanks to that damn Gloo!

Then I thought of Jezabelle and Jazmin and prayed that they had had no part in our being drugged or left alone for more than three days.Those two girls might like to pull pranks on family members whenever we all meet, but there isn't a harmful bone in either one of them!

Then I had a bit of a funny thought cross my mind. Well, actually, a bit of a popular oldies song by Lionel Richie, Stuck On You:

I'm stuck on you
I've got this feeling down
Deep in my soul
That I just can't lose
Guess, I'm on my way
Needed a friend
And the way I feel now I guess
I'll be with you till the end
Guess I'm on my way
I'm mighty glad you stayed.

I sang that part softly to Bella as we lay there on our hospital beds next to each other, then she joined me and we sang it again together.


Lionel Richie singing "Stuck On You"

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