Now I know you’ve all heard of our friend Jessica and her bosom buddies Anna and Anna, probably because Anna and her sister are a pair of exhibitionists. Most tee shirt brassières are. Oh sure they go on and on about their mission in life, you know about how their entire aim in life is to depress the emergence of their nipples under any and every condition especially cold, excitement and arousal. And all that nonsense about how if they failed to keep their nipples firmly under control and out of sight they’d be seen as a total failure by their peers. And to cap it all they go on and on about their raison d’être and their mission in life. You’d think they were missionaries converting the braless in some third world country where brassières would do nothing but give very unpleasant salt burns and chafe horribly.

Well let me wise you up. I’ve had extended conversations with all the other lingerie in our drawers and other than a couple of left over padded training brassières, who let’s be honest are very impressionable young girls, the rest of us honestly couldn’t give a dozen pink sewn on roses and a pastel pink bow about the whole nipple issue. Those of us in the support business, and our friend Samantha needs a lot of support from us because she’s a E cup, regard that as a matter of considerably more substance, if you’ll forgive the phrase, than nipple suppression. Girls have nipples, I know boys do too but most of them have no requirement for our kind of friendship, and that’s not to say girls should thrust their nipples in everyone’s face like some off the wall militant lactivist, but a hint of femininity from time to time is not unnatural. If it offends you, then don’t look. As for tee shirt brassières, nipples or no nipples, they’d be really miffed if they weren’t noticed, so they’re no different from the rest of us, and methinks the lady doth protest too much.

Now we are part of a close family, a lingerie set some would call us. We’re expensive and just because were originally from Victoria’s place we occasionally get accused of elitism and snobbery. We think it’s just some of the others are a bit jealous of the way we can effortlessly, by which I mean without any strain on Samantha’s back, provide lift and separation. A rather impressive cleavage if I do but say it myself. We’re all pretty in a pastel pinks with flowers kind of a way and Knickers and Suspenders, our sisters, are really rather fetching and excessively racy. Knickers insists on being called Knickers though really she is barely more than four or five square inches of frilly trimmed fabric with a bow at the front of a thong. When she starts on about sex appeal we all call her Thong just to annoy her. Suspenders is sort of a halfway house between us and Knickers in substance, but six attachment points in stainless steel for stockings make her a bit provocative really, but unlike Knickers she doesn’t use it to try to put one over on us.

Samantha was initially very put out when she discovered that my sibling and I, we were initially named Kiss and Tell, were a pair of conjoined boys. She was planning on taking us back for replacements. Knickers and Suspenders were upset for days. It took quite a bit of effort on our part to let us get anywhere near her adorable girls. We argued how much they needed us, but it was to no avail. She said there was no way a pair of boys were going to be intimate with her girls for hours and hours every day when she’d be too busy to chaperone us. No way! We argued how much like Eva Herzigova’s world famous girls hers would look with our support. You know, Eva Herzigova the model of the Hello Boys ads for Wonderbra fame, but nothing doing. However, it just goes to shew we’re not very clever because we’d forgotten to tell her the most important thing. How a pair of conjoined boys ended up as a pair of E cups on a lift and separate brassière rather than being forcibly separated and used on two of those terrible things sportsmen wear. Obviously we were big enough and strong enough to comfortably lift the girls, but we were snuggled up around them and providing the lift they were desperate for within seconds of her realising we been calling ourselves Elle and Elle for ages because you see we’re trans Wonderbros.