Earth's Christmas Miracle

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No one knew precisely where it started, but it was generally acknowledged it was in a women’s bathroom at a shopping mall.

“Get the hell out of here you pervert.”

“I’m a woman! You can’t throw me out of here, you horrible old TERF!”

“No you’re not a woman. You may try and dress…..”

“Sorry what was I saying. Of course you should be in here. I’m so sorry can you forgive me?”

“Yes of course. I realize how you saw me as a possible threat to you. I promise you I‘m only here to pee. I’m sorry if I made you nervous.”

“No it was me being silly. What a stupid thing to argue about.”

Elsewhere.

“Of course I’ll give you a job in my store. I realize you must find it difficult to get a job. I used to always judge people on the color of their skin. I can see now were all just the same.”

A man see’s a beggar on the corner of the street.

“Here young man. Have $100. I’m sorry that’s all I can afford, try to get some help.”

“Thank you sir, you are very kind. I will see social services today. I don’t understand why I don’t trust them.”

One multi billionaire talks to another

“I have just realized, when I die I’ll be even richer than I am now. What’s the point? I could probably help feed all the starving in the world. My money is just sitting there getting larger, I’ll never spend it.

“Yes, I was thinking the same. All the illness that can be cured. I’ll pay for treatment for the poor all over the world, the lives I could save”

Israel and Palestine.

“Why do we keep firing rockets at you? You just retaliate and kill civilians. If we stop, will you?”

“Yes. We won’t grab anymore land. It just results in deaths. We must talk about helping you rebuild the damage along the border. I don’t know why we did all that horrible stuff.”

All over the world wars stopped and people started caring about each other. Within a year the world was a paradise.

“Mum! Did you say Jenny could play on my game?”

“No why?”

“Well I think she has. She’s played with my game settings.”

Jenny came into the room.

“Yes I did it, you horrible boy. You had the empathy and understanding setting on nearly zero. It was horrible. They were killing each other it was a nasty world. What did you call it? Earth? Well I fixed it. Your sim world works like the real world now.”

“It took me ages to get that world working properly. I was up to the 21st century. I had never got that far before, they always destroyed themselves before.”

“It’s not meant to be played like that. Sim World is meant to be like real life. Not some nasty boy’s nightmare. “

“The way you play it is easy. With the empathy and understanding turned down they are always fighting. The skill is trying to keep them alive as long as you can. It’s really cool seeing how they hate each other for silly differences. “

“Well I think you’re sick brother.”

“Just stay out of my room. I’m going to have to start again. What am I going to use this time? Asteroid? Solar flare? I know a plague, yes a nice virus should do it.

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Comments

Virus? OH! how about.....

Snarfles's picture

A relatively innocuous virus...then they'll go crazy and kill themselves off with a vaccine! That way they won't blame me like they did with the flood....

I forgot about the flood

leeanna19's picture

I forgot about the flood reset. Could have used the volcano at Yellowstone going up.

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Leeanna

Love it!

It reminds me of a friend from years ago. When asked about his religious beliefs he would say that he believed that one day giant multifaceted dice, hundreds of feet across, would fall out of the sky rolling along destroying roads, cars, mowing down buildings, etc. Following this a voice would boom out of the sky, "Dammit get your dice off the board!"

We the willing, led by the unsure. Have been doing so much with so little for so long,
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

LOLOLOLOL!!

laika's picture

Oh Leanna, you're EviL!! I like that (in a story)...
And it sure would explain a lot, woonit?

I almost expected some wacky Gallifreyan in a blue box
to be involved somehow (they used to show up every Christmas
when things would turn strange + menacing on planet Earth)
but your causal explanation was so much better!
It reminds me a bit (not sure how, certain themes in common)
of a dark comic story I posted back on January I 2011
where suddenly everybody gets any wish they want.
It's short: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/24709/q-day

~holiday hugs! V

Plague

Daphne Xu's picture

Okay, so God has a mum and an annoying sister, and He's playing Earth as a challenge game, set on high difficulty.

-- Daphne Xu

Yeah, thats it , he tried

leeanna19's picture

Yeah, thats it , he tried with lizards, but the lack of intelligence was boring. Lots of violence though, so he hit reset with an asteroid. Then he tried with humans, and reset with a flood.
Heaven help us when he reaches puberty, and wants to see sexy stuff!

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Leeanna

Infinite Patience

Daphne Xu's picture

Preteen God must have had near-infinite patience, considering how long the dinosaurs lasted until being wiped out.

I read a time-travel SF novel (not very good) where they went back about 70 million years. Someone commented in the story that they were closer to their own time than the time of the brontosauruses.

Maybe the world might turn out a lot better, once he starts fantasizing sexually. Or maybe the growing acceptance of gay marriage, open marriage, polyamory, etc. might be God developing (redeveloping?) a sexual interest.

-- Daphne Xu

I would say the game had a

leeanna19's picture

I would say the game had a zoom forward or x million on a timescale setting. No going back. That would be cheating.

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Leeanna

So no...

Daphne Xu's picture

... Save and Restore?

I'm also curious, when did things get interesting for Preteen God (Preteen Yahweh? Mum has at least two children, Jenny and Yahweh?) to make him focus on single centuries or years even?

-- Daphne Xu

A few 1000's BC interaction

leeanna19's picture

A few 1000's BC interaction with the natives 2000's years ago insert a character to start a new religion, too keep things interesting. Dip in occasionally to read messages from the game (prayers) Give a slightly different message to muslins'.

Act as a weather god to the British. Agincourt (rained the night before slowing the French advance down) Spanish armada (Storm blew them of course) Waterloo (rain bogged down French cannon) Didn't help fighting the war of independence (wanted to save America ot face off against communism)

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Leeanna