Stories
This is a work of fiction, though it does contain actual data and some conjecture. If you don't like tears, I would suggest not reading this. This is my first attempt at a standalone story (heck, any story period) and would ask for any and all words of wisdom and criticism. I would like to thank Kaleigh for her encouragement and my spousal unit for her proofing help.
Thanks and hugs
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Beep...Beep...Beep...
"Mr and Mrs Horner?"
The two people sitting next to the bed containing the body of a small child looked up at the interruption in their thoughts, the man looking both angry and sad while the woman had obviously been crying.
"Yes Doctor?" Dave Horner acknowledged, while keeping his arm around his wife.
"I was wondering if I might speak with you outside, or in the lounge, if you would rather sit?" Dr Jacobs asked the couple.
"Can we talk here? I don't think it will disturb James," the father said, gesturing to the figure in the hospital bed.
Dr Jacobs appeared to ponder this for a moment, but then stated, " I would prefer we not discuss anything in front of the patient. I have found that patients in comas can sometimes recall what has happened around them while they were in the coma."
Dave turned to his wife, Amanda, and looked a question at her.
"Doctor, can I stay in here while Dave talks to you outside?" she asked.
"Well, what I have to say concerns the both of you, as well as your child," stated the doctor. "if it would help, I could have a nurse come in and watch over him while we talk."
Amanda sighed, ran a worried hand over her child's forehead, then said to the Doctor as well as her husband, "Okay, I wil be out in a minute to join you two and go to the lounge."
Dave just kissed her on the forehead and asked the Doctor while gesturing at the doorway, "Shall we adjourn to the hallway?"
********
After showing the Horners to the lounge, Dr Jacobs closed the door and joined them at a small table. "I am not sure how to ask this, but has your child shown any signs of unhappiness or disillusionment? Any unexplained mood swings? Anything at all to suggest why he might have tried to commit suicide?"
"Nothing Doctor, he has been the same as any preteen," stated Dave.
"Dave?" asked Amanda, startling him, "What about his grades and the reports from his teachers? The fights and the bullying?"
"That has nothing to do with this, it's just a phase that he needs to grow up and out of! He just needs to quit being a wimp and be a man!" hissed her husband.
"What, exactly, has happened at school?" asked the Doctor. "The more information we have, the better we can treat his problems, IF he comes out of his coma. If he does not want to be helped, nothing we, as doctors, do will help him. He needs to know that he is still loved. Let me share some statistics with you folks so you can get an idea what is happening here. The latest data on attempted suicides I have for his age group in our state shows that 92 did not succeed while 13 did. That is 13 more that succeeded than I like to see and 92 more that tried than I like to think about. Let me be blunt with you, the child, that 12 year old child, lying in bed in that room needs your love more than your pity."
At this point, Amanda Horner started sobbing, while Dave just sat and glared at the Doctor. "I hope you are happy, you bastard! I love my son and nothing will change that!"
"For your child's sake, I hope you do."
"Doctor? I do have more information, but Dave may not want to hear it. It's the note James... Jamie, left," Amanda told the Doctor, getting her crying and breathing under control.
"What note? And who the hell is Jamie?" demanded Dave
"Doctor? Could you read it out loud? Please?" asked Amanda, eyes tearing up and voice cracking as she spoke. " I need to get back to my baby in the other room," she said, getting up to leave the room.
Mom,
I am sorry. I just can't be the man Dad wants. The boys
at school were almost right; I do like guys, but only
because I am a girl inside. I have been lying to you and
dad, living a lie all this time. His last lecture to me,
telling me to quit being such a crybaby sissy all the time,
hurt too much. I never meant to be a disappointment to you
and him and maybe it is best this way. I hope that you can
love me after I am gone.
Love, from someone who should have been your daughter,
Jamie
********
"Jamie, honey, it's your mother, I'm back and I am here for you. Just come back, please," Jamie's mother asked, holding her child's hand, not wanting to ever let go and resting her head on the bed next to her daughter.
Beep...Beep...Bebeep...
Walking over, I sat on the bench and looked over.
"Happy New Year Daddy. Been a while since the last time we talked so I thought I would swing by and catch you up."
Gathering my thoughts, I continued. "So, brother is still married, she hasn't killed him yet so it must be love. Mom is doing well also, still doing the genealogy and cooking a lot. Loves the new Ninja air fryer oven more than the one you got her. She is still using the regular pressure cooker though, doesn't trust the Instant Pot," I say, giving a little chuckle.
I should probably cut this short, need to get back to my spousal unit. Thank you for accepting me and love you always."
I lift my fingers to my lips, kiss them, and then touch them to the headstone as a few tears roll down my cheeks and I slowly walk away.
Why did Commander Jvuznart always make him do the worst jobs, like replacing xenobiological specimens? It wasn’t his fault that Doctor Gralpuxt’s specimens expired. They should have had a failsafe on the specimen holding environmental controls. It wasn’t like he killed them on purpose when he shut off the lights along with the atmosphere generator and temperature controls, was it? These new specimens from the 3rd planet were so soft and needed just the right temperature and gas mix to live. Sheesh, how did they survive to make it this far? They were even fouling their own nest; give them another few hundred cycles, if that long, and they wouldn’t even be around, he was sure.
As he was getting ready to board the scout ship, the doctor took him aside and was telling him what to collect and that he had put a medbed in the holding area in case something happened. It was like they didn’t trust him or something!
After departing the main ship in orbit around the system’s star and hidden in the asteroid belt just outside the 4th planet, the small stealthed ship made orbit around the 3rd planet. ‘Earth,’ Scout Dolnagk mused, ‘strange name but to each species their own. Not as nice as Nalk, that was for sure.’
As the ship descended through the 3rd planet’s atmosphere, he made sure he was near the proper specimen retrieval area. He needed to be sure this was done properly so he didn’t get in trouble. Again. It was never really his fault and the problems never happened until they entered this solar system. ‘What was the phrase the natives used? That’s right, the solar system was cursed!’ he thought to himself. If nothing else, he was at least learning new things.
Setting his ship’s scanners to look for 2 lifesigns of approximately, what did the doctor say? Aha, 18 – 24 solar years old. No other lifesigns within 1 kilometer, check! Now to disable their transportation and collect them. Was that all the specifications? ‘Must be,’ he thought.
Brent Campbell and Jeff Simmons had just finished their last 2nd shift scheduled for the week and were looking forward to enjoying some time fishing at Brent’s Family’s cabin on the lake. The unlikely pair were best friends, having grown up in the same neighborhood, with Brent having saved the scrawny runt of a kid from a beating when his family moved in across the street. Through grade school, junior high, and high school, they were a pair of jokers against the world! This summer would be their last together, as Brent had gotten a football scholarship, while Jeff… Well, Jeff didn’t fare so well. He was the youngest of 3 kids, an older brother and a middle sister who had made the best grades and were now in college with their own sports scholarships, while Jeff’s applications were lost or delayed in the mail until they were ineligible. Add to that Jeff’s size. He was all of 5’ 4” and 114 pounds soaking wet. Yeah, sports were not his forte, and neither was his luck.
They had just made the turnoff to the lake road from the highway when the truck cut out. No lights, no engine, nothing. “What the hell?!?” Brent said. It was an almost new truck, not the fanciest but it was less than 2 years old and given to him that summer by his dad. “Hey, Jeff! Grab the flashlight from the console,” Brent said.
“Okay. Give me a sec, trying to get my phone to wake up.” Giving up on that, Jeff looked for the flashlight in the console and found it by feel, but it too was dead. “Hey, Brent, when’s the last time you replaced the batteries in this thing? It’s dead too.”
About this time, the two young men started to hear a strange noise while the wind started picking up. Suddenly, there was a bright light pinning them down and their stomachs lurched before they lost consciousness.
Now, one of the problems Jeff had was health issues. Chief among them diabetes that necessitated a pump. And when things shut down and the system was down, it somehow dumped his insulin, causing all the reservoir to dump into his system. Combine this with his para-adrenal issues that caused a “panic attack”-like result, his heart started racing into supraventricular tachycardia while he started shaking and sweating.
This by no means started happening immediately, but by the time Dolnagk noticed it was almost too late, and while he dithered and transferred the specimen to the medbed, his heart had finally stopped. “Oh, this is not good,” he thought. He was not really versed in the operation of the medbed, so he hit the emergency resuscitation and watched as it started cycling through diagnostic screens while the specimen was slowly dying in front of his receptors. He was sunk and would soon be sent home in disgrace. When the diagnostics had finished, the system asked if he wanted a full emergency recovery performed. He frantically hit “Confirm” and kept hitting it in panic, not noticing an option go by for full DNA repair. Jeff’s fate was sealed.
Scout Dolnagk sat there, afraid to go back to the main ship until the medbed was finished. In the meantime, the scout ship had been seen by some kids at the lake and reported and there were aircraft heading his way, so he did the only thing he could think of, he had to hide the ship! But where?!? He looked for a small cove on the lake that would be deep enough to hide the ship with no humans around. He finally located one that, unbeknownst to him, was the same one that the Campbell family cabin was located on.
The medbed in the meantime was struggling to save this alien lifeform. Keeping the heart going at the proper speed based on a limited knowledge base was easy, but there was no information to base these other issues on as all the other specimens had been healthy. Coming to a state that its programming required authorized decision making, it alarmed, startling Dolnagk who had just landed and submerged the ship but had not shut down the engines. He hurried back to the medbed and saw its query on the screen: “Institute full DNA crossmatch query, investigation, and recovery? This will take approximately 7 diurnal earth cycles, during which time the ship should remain stationary and not in motion while full ship resources are redirected to this procedure. Confirm?” Looking at the flashing confirmation button, all could do is stare. If the specimen died, would they charge him with the loss of life? This would make the third one. Two he could live with, but a third? Would his life be forfeit then? The first two had been determined to be a faulty system and not really his fault but they had been due to his actions. He couldn’t make this decision. He just couldn’t.
Meanwhile, Brent was just waking up since Dolnagk had forgotten to re-tranquilize him during the emergency situations. As he slowly came to, he saw he was in a white room with a door that had no handles. Knowing this was not a good situation, he started hollering and pounding on the door, trying to get someone’s attention. He finally got Dolnagk’s attention, but unsure how to proceed, Dolnagk spoke to him through the translator. “Greetings. You will not be harmed; we merely wish to run some tests. There has been a situation arise and your fellow human is in medical crisis. Do you understand?”
‘Jeff? Medical crisis? What the hell?!?’ Brent looked around at the ceiling and around the door but couldn’t see a speaker, let alone a microphone. “Um, hello? Fellow human? Do you mean Jeff? What have you done to him? If you’ve hurt him, I’ll” was as far as he got before a loud high pitched squeal came from all around him.
“Please calm down, the system is asking for a decision I cannot… I do not wish to make. I… I require another’s approval, someone who knows this human, Jeff? Is this his designation? Can you make these decisions?”
“His name is Jeff Simmons. And yeah, he is a friend. What kind of decisions are we talking about here?”
Dolnagk considered this, and made a tiny command decision that might cost him his career. “My name? is Scout Dolnagk of the planet you designate Kepler-186F. Your friend is currently expiring in a medbed, and it requires confirmation of some procedures to save his life. I ask again, can you make these decisions?”
“What decisions?!? Why won’t you tell me? What do I need to say or do to save his life? Just tell me!” Brent yelled.
Dolnagk sighed, knowing he had to do this to save the human, this Jeff’s, life. “May I enquire as to your name? I wish to know with whom I will be making this decision.”
Brent was beginning to think he was trapped by a crazy person. He really needed to get out and find Jeff and see if he was okay. He slowly responded to the voice, saying, “My name is Brent Campbell. Now what is this “decision” and what is it going to do to Jeff?”
“This medbed will attempt to scan and diagnose his DNA and make repairs to save his life. There were anomalies detected and some are life threatening. If I release you I will need you to put a device on your wrist so I can prevent any violence towards myself or my ship. Will you do this?”
“Yes, whatever, can I see Jeff then?”
“He is in the room next to yours, please put the device on your wrist that is located in the swivel panel next to the door.”
Brent heard a buzz and a click next to the door and after investigating, he located the panel and opened it. Looking at the band, it was all one dull silver color and he worriedly put it on. “It’s on,” Brent said.
“I will be opening the door shortly, but please don’t be alarmed by my appearance.” So saying, he prepared the remote in Deadman Switch mode, then opened the door.
Brent watched as the door opened and he got his first look at Dolnagk. “Holy shit! You’re an alien!”
“Indeed I am Brent Campbell, I offer you greetings and wish to ask for your assistance in helping your friend. Would you precede me to the next room this way?” The tall golden carapaced insectoid creature pointed his left middle limb to Brent’s right.
Upon entering the room, Brent saw his friend in a tube with a ring around it, where it occasionally slid up and down the tube. “What are you doing to him!” Brent yelled. “Get him out of there! Do something!”
“I cannot. If he were to be removed, he would die. The medbed is currently keeping Jeff alive, but sedated, unconscious, and pain-free.”
Looking at what appeared to be a monitor of some kind, he saw some kind of weird script, along with a highlighted yellow box and a blue box, along with a bunch of graphs. He also noticed two small bars running down the side, with one of them slowly shrinking in length. ”What’re these bars for?” Brent asked.
Glancing at them, Dolnagk roughly pushed Brent aside while loudly chittering, then his voice said I am sorry, Brent Campbell, there is a problem. The body is failing faster than the medbed can compensate for.” After working at it for several minutes, Dolnagk said, I have reduced the speed of failure, but we must hurry to save your friend. Do you trust me?”
Staring at Jeff, and how ashen he looked, he asked “Does this trust work both ways?”
“What do you mean Brent Campbell?”
“Can I stay in here with Jeff? You know, while this medbed thing works on him.”
“This can be arranged Brent Campbell, but it will not be as comfortable as a cell? room? Unsure what to call the berth you would inhabit. Plus, there is no food dispenser here.”
“Please, stop with full name, just call mew Brent. As to where to sleep, is the berth in this section? This band I am wearing, would it open this door and my berth door?”
“Yes, as well as allow you to access a human food printer menu.”
“Human food printer? Oookay. First though, what do I need to do for Jeff? This won’t hurt him, will it?”
“Let me mirror it in your language if possible, or I can just read it to you? It might take a while to mirror and I am unsure if the translation tables are built into the medbed.”
“Just read it to me, and maybe explain it if you can? Please Dolnagk?”
“I will try, Brent.”
The next several minutes were spent explaining things to Brent and what would happen to Jeff, mainly that all of his health problems would be fixed, but that Dolnagk was not sure what all that entailed. Finally, Brent looked at Jeff and said, “See you soon, dude.” And with that, he pressed the yellow “Confirm” button.
It was a long week, but he managed to stay sane while sharing stories with Dolnagk and Dolnagk shared some with Brent. During this time, the medbed tube remained cloudy; neither Brent nor Dolnagk could see what was happening. Then about a week after starting the process, the medbed started making some notification noises. “It appears the procedure was successful, and Jeff is in perfect health. With all the air traffic and other investigators gone and Jeff healthy, I must now take you both to the main ship unfortunately.”
“So, we’re to be zoo specimens now? Or does specimen mean something worse? Is this what trust means to you?”
"No Brent, as I have come to know you, I have learned to understand what this friendship you speak of means. I have decided to sacrifice my career and introduce you to the other species aboard the ship. After what I have done to this point, I am sure there will be no future for me in the Star Services, but I hope someday to talk to you again after this all over. I am not sure what the future holds for us or our races, but all friendships must start somewhere. Is this correct?”
Brent had just finished agreeing with Dolnagk when the medbed tube opened, and a very petite and very… healthy female Jeff appeared.
“Oh, fuck…” Brent whispered to himself.
“What was that, Brent?” Dolnagk asked, barely hearing Brent speak. “I did not hear what you said.”
Brent, meanwhile, could only stare at his friend, and see how beautiful she… ‘No, that’s still Jeff, and she’s gonna need me again. He! He’s going to need someone to help him! Shit, shit, shit!’ thought Brent, still gazing at him, her. ‘This is really confusing, that is my best friend, what am I going to do?’
“Brent? Jeff will be regaining consciousness soon; do you wish to help me prepare him?”
“Uh, Dolnagk? There’s a problem. A big problem,” Brent said, still staring at his best friend.
“What is the problem? He is as healthy as a human specimen could be. Plus, he is alive now and the scans show an optimal physiology as a result. I repeat, what is the problem, Brent?”
With that question, Brent realized he had grown used to the alien’s company and had really forgotten how alien his thoughts might be. He decided to ask Dolnagk a personal question. “Um, Dolnagk? Does your race have sex? I mean, do they have sexes, you know, male and female?”
“We have queens for reproduction, along with workers and drones, but to mate we must die. Is that what you are asking? About our mating habits?”
“Yes… No? I don’t know, I’m not saying this right. Do you see anything wrong with Jeff?”
No, as I said earlier, he is as perfect a human specimen I have come across now. When I reviewed his earlier scans, I was amazed he had lived as long as he had with his unresolved medical issues.”
Brent thought about how best to tell Dolnagk and decided to just come out and say it. “Dolnagk, humans have two sexes.”
“Do you mean genders, Brent? Please bear with me, as I am still learning about your species and some things remain unclear. I do wish to learn though.”
“Yeah, genders, that’s the term I was looking for. Anyway, Jeff is a guy! Was a guy. A, a male. And now he’s a she, a girl! Female,” Brent said, rubbing his forehead with his fingertips.
At that statement, Dolnagk could only stare at Jeff’s still form. “Oh *scree-k-k-k*” the translator let out, a weird screech and stutter as the end.
Hearing that, Brent quickly swiveled his head towards Dolnagk. “Finally figured it out, huh?” Brent asked with a short laugh. “He, aw, to hell with it, Jeff is a she, I’m going to go with she from now on. She will not be happy with this. She’s been doing everything she can not to be seen as girly, as a female, because of her height and build. Her hair was really short, almost a crewcut! Baggy clothes, that lame attempt at a beard, all of it to look like a guy. And now this? She’s gonna kill us.”
“Why would she do that, she is finally healthy? Should we keep her sedated and immobilized until her outcome is resolved?”
“” Outcome is resolved ”? What are you saying Dolnagk? Are we stuck here like lab rats?” Startled, Brent started acting agitated and was getting ready to aggressively turn upon Dolnagk, when he suddenly found himself unable to move.
Dolnagk stepped back from Brent a few paces and looked at him carefully. “Interesting, the studies showed that humans acted protective of others, especially their mates. Brent, I guarantee you that you will face no harm. However, it is Jeff I am worried about. The repairs I instituted to save her life may have violated some… directives we have in place. Directives that may put her existence at risk if not handled properly.”
“” Existence at risk ”?!? Dolnagk, are you saying she could die?”
“Yes, Brent, she would be destroyed as a contaminated specimen,” Dolnagk said worriedly.
“Dolnagk?”
“Yes, Brent?”
You mentioned trust earlier this week; can I ask for that trust to be reciprocated?”
“Reciprocated? Ah, are you asking me to trust you?”
“Yes, I want to rest a bit, but I don’t want to leave Jeff alone.”
“I can release you if you can attest that you will not try to harm me or the ship again.”
“I promise, but I need to think a while. There must be some way to avoid anything happening to Jeff.”
After releasing Brent, Dolnagk said “I will think on this further as well. The thought of failure… displeases me. I am only a drone, a scout. This is a new situation I was never prepared for. Failure in this position will not reflect well on my hive… family? Yes, family, that is the word that you would best understand. Do you require nourishment or elimination before I leave you in here?”
“Something to sit on?”
“There is a fold down seat in the wall next to the medtube. We will talk shortly. In the meantime, I will keep her sedated until we reach a consensus.”
“Do we have to? Shouldn’t she know what is going to happen?”
“Would it be a kindness for her to know her fate?”
“You act like her fate is already decided Dolnagk. It’s not over yet!”
“I do not wish to give false hope, Brent Campbell. I must go now; I must check in with my Commander. I shall return shortly. I am sorry.”
With that, Dolnagk turned and left, Leaving Brent to find the seat and sit next to Jeff. “What am I gonna do with you, Jeff? You know, I am so gonna blame you and never let you live this down if we get through this.” Reaching over, he slowly grabbed Jeff’s hand and gave it a squeeze. He then started to think of anything that he could possibly do or say to save his friend. “Dammit, this is your job! You and all that sci-fi and fantasy crap you read and watch! You’d probably just say something off the top of your head and solve this pretty quick.” And with that, Brent sat there trying to think of something, anything, that might get them out of this situation, never noticing he still had Jeff’s hand in his own.
Dolnagk reached his small cockpit area and sat, just staring at the communications panel. He was contemplating what to do when an incoming transmission came in from the Kersakt, his main ship. He slowly reached over to accept the transmission, and immediately, Commander Jvuznart laid into him. “Where have you been?!?” he bellowed. “You dropped out of sight seven local diurnal cycles ago and haven’t sent a report since. And on top of that, your ship’s AI wouldn’t answer either. You better have the specimens and get back here ASAP! And you better have a good reason in your report, or you will be on the next transport back to the central hive and they can deal with you! Jvuznart out!”
Dolnagk sat there in shock. This was by far the worst thing he could envision happening. He never got a chance to say anything, not a word. If he were not honorable, he could try running but he knew they would find him, and that would mean the destruction of the specimens, the humans, his friend? Brent, out of hand. And he had earned that trust of one of them, Brent, and he, in turn, now trusted Brent. This went against everything he was taught in the teachings back at the hive; other species could know nothing of honor and would betray any trust placed in them. How could he have less honor than a human? As he sat there, he started going over every regulation he could find, trying to save this human’s friend.
Several hours later, Brent asked the ship if Dolnagk was available, but did not hear any acknowledgement. A few minutes later, he entered the room and stared at Jeff in thought while Brent looked on. After Dolnagk gave a soft chuff, Brent asked, “Figure anything out yet?”
“No, I have found nothing. I am sorry Brent, I have failed you and Jeff.”
“I understand. Maybe if Jeff were awake, she could figure something out.”
“Tell me more of this Jeff so that I may know her. Please.”
Brent sat there marshalling his memories in preparation for relating Jeff and his friendship and life story. He proceeded to tell Dolnagk of their childhood friendship and how it started with Brent saving him from the bullies and progressing on through High School and their graduation the month before, with Jeff being a nerd and graduating 2 years early, only to lose out on the scholarships.
“I see. It sounds as though the two of you were pod mates, destined to take on the stars together.”
“Yeah, this was to be our last summer together, our last huzzah! Then this happened. It probably wouldn’t have if Jeff hadn’t been called in for that last shift he pulled. I volunteered for it, too, because he had to go. If not for that, we would have been at the cabin 12 hours sooner and missed this ride,” Brent grinned wanly.
“Brent, I have been honest with you this entire time and I feel have returned that honesty with your trust. I heard from my Commander earlier. He wants me to bring you and Jeff back as soon as possible. I am afraid that after reviewing all the pertinent regulations, I can find no way out. As such, I have decided to grant your request to restore Jeff to consciousness. It is all I can do at this time. Again, I am sorry. Can you control Jeff when she awakens?”
“I will try, Dolnagk. No guarantees though, she’s a tough little scrapper,” Brent replied with a fond smile, recalling some of the times he had to save Jeff.
“I feel I can accept your “word” Brent Campbell. Reaching over, Dolnagk placed another of those silverish bands on Jeff’s tiny wrist. “This should allow Jeff access to the food and garment printer. I must go and prepare the ship for departure and ensure the area is clear of any surveillance. As it is early in your solar period, I will have to wait until the local human activity is curtailed before we can depart. Please convey my apologies to Jeff.”
“I will. See you soon.”
Darkness. Fighting his way up through that darkness, he felt… off? A wrongness? But he was breathing the air, and he felt whatever it was he laying on, cushiony but in the wrong areas; it, too, felt off. As he started to wake up, he let out a small moan. That was when it hit him and he froze; that wasn’t his voice! He heard a sound to his right and saw Brent staring wide-eyed at him! But the way he was looking at him frightened him, like he was staring at some nightmare, something he was afraid of. Jeff gave a small whimper and shrank back in fear. ‘What was going on? Why did everything feel so wrong?'
Brent broke out of his trance and reached out for Jeff, afraid of hurting him, yet afraid of letting her hurt herself. Lightly grabbing her shoulders, he said, “Jeff, calm down! Something happened but I need you calm, I promised Dolnagk I would try to keep you calm while I explained things. Can you do that for me? Just nod and don’t say anything. Please?”
Jeff slowly gave a tentative nod, feeling that same wrongness again. And then noticed that Brent seemed bigger somehow, even bigger than before. And all she could do was return his stare into his eyes.
“I’m going to let you go now, but I want you to stay laying there until I am finished if you can, Do this for me? Please?”
She just nodded again but was starting to worry now.
Brent slowly recounted what he knew of what happened and when he got to Jeff’s changes, he took her hand and started apologizing, even as he tried to explain what happened.
Jeff started hyperventilating and his heart rate started climbing, causing the medbed to react and start a suppression field while an alarm started beeping which only increased Jeff’s panic.
Brent meanwhile was trying to calm her down and talk to her, telling her it would be alright, but he needed her brains, now more than ever.
“C’mon Jeff, I need you here, not spazzing like you do when a girl speaks to you!” He was hoping the joke would get through like it usually did to help ground his friend.
As Jeff slowly started calming down the medbed’s alarms retreated but the suppression field still held Jeff down. “Brent! Do something! This thing is holding me down! Get it off!” Jeff couldn’t believe it, he was crying like a girl and started thrashing and sobbing.
Jeff was doing all he could to calm her, but the thrashing set the alarms off again at an even louder level. He didn’t hear the door whoosh open or Dolnagk come in and up to the monitor over the din Jeff and the medbed was making and was surprised when Jeff collapsed and the alarms cut off.
“What did you do to her?!?! Wake her up! Get her back now! Please?!?” Brent pleaded, holding her up to him and hugging her and started crying himself.
“Brent, I am sorry, she was starting to hurt herself, it was for her own safety. She will recover in a few moments, perhaps a quarter of one of your hours? Would it better if she were to awaken in your berth? Keep in mind there are no real medical safety mechanisms in place in there and she may succeed in hurting herself.”
Brent could only stare at her flawless face, soaking up her beauty, until he realized he had fallen in love with her, his best friend, and he was at a loss what to do. Without a further thought, he grabbed her and lifted her in his arms, noticing how light she was now, and how easily she fit in his arms. He looked to Dolnagk and said, “I’ve got her, and I won’t let her go again. She’ll be safe no matter what.”
With that, he carried her next door to his room and laid her down, making sure she was covered. The first thing on the list was to find her some clothes, even if it was a ship’s jumpsuit. With the short time before she was supposed to wake up, Brent was afraid to leave in case she woke up and he was not there. He just sat there on the side of the bed, waiting for her to wake up. Staring at her while she slept, he decided that he would destroy anyone or anything that tried to hurt her.
After Dolnagk watched them leave, he revised his guess of their being podmates and decided that they must be lifemates after what he saw Brent do for her. After a few moments, he started thinking of podmates, lifemates, and regulations, and hurried to research something.
After waking up again, Brent had better luck explaining things to Jeff, and being better prepared, he managed to stay strong and calm while explaining what happened. Jeff, this time around, seemed to take it better as well, and with Brent’s help, stood up, wrapping the bed sheet around herself. “Where’s my pump?!?” she asked, starting to panic again.
“You don’t need it anymore, remember? Perfect body? Perfect health?”
She turned to look at him and noticed he was taller! Then it struck her! ‘No, I’m shorter,’ she thought. “Brent? How tall are you?”
“About 6’ 2”. Why?”
“What happened to my height? I was 9 inches shorter than you, but now I’m really short! I’m a midget!”
"Calm down, breathe. Just breathe. Slowly.”
After she calmed down again, he continued. “You’re maybe 5 foot tall, about 1.5m, if that much. You know, about Brenda’s height. Oh, and you hardly weigh anything now. You’re going to need an anchor in a strong breeze,” he said as he chuckled at his own joke.
“Not funny, Brent, and not helping. What am I going to do?” she asked, tearing up.
"First, you are going to calm down and help us figure out a way out of this. There’s something else you need to know.” And with that, Brent started to explain the depths of the situation they were in.
After he finished explaining things, they discussed things and decided that if nothing could be done, they would ask to go out together, as the lifelong friends they were.
As they were sitting there thinking about the future, a voice came across from the translator. “Brent, can we talk privately in the med room?”
“Who’s that?” Jeff asked.
“Hm, oh, that’s Dolnagk, the Scout that collected us as specimens.”
“”Collected us as specimens”?!?” she shrieked. “How can you be so calm about this? We have to get out of here!”
“I can’t, I promised not to hurt him or the ship. It was the price to save you. One sec.”
“Dolnagk? Are you still there?”
“I am. What do you require?”
“Could you show yourself to Jeff now?”
“Is she under control? I can come to the door and let her see me from there, it might be better for her, less threatening?”
“Her? Under control?!? Listen here you little grey pipsqueak, I AM under control, tell me that too my face!”
“Brent, is she always this hostile?”
Yeah, she is a little defensive of her size and temper,” he said with a laugh. “You’ll be safe, I can grab her if need be.” He said, still laughing.
“You too?!? Some friend you are, hmmph!”
“One moment, friend Brent, Jeff.”
A few moments later, there was a signal from their door. “Enter,” Brent said. “I always wanted to say that,” Brent whispered to Jeff, grinning.
As the door opened, Jeff got her first look at an alien. One named Dolnagk, standing there in all his 1.9 meter golden chitinous height, only an inch taller than Brent.
“Greetings Jeff Simmons!”
“Holy fuuuck! It’s a Thri-kreen! They’re real!” And with that statement, she sat down abruptly on the bed, still staring at Dolnagk.
“As informative as this exchange has been, I must ask you Brent, is she aware of your circumstances?”
“Yes, mostly, but I am not sure she accepts it all as real yet.”
“Most distressing! I may have found a way, but I am unsure if she will be accepting of it.”
“Accepting of what? What is it talking about, Brent?”
“He, Dolnagk is a he, Jeff, much like we have accepted you as a she. And I am not sure what he is talking about. I am sure he was going to explain before you interrupted him.”
“I am not a she, bro! We grew up together, you know I am a guy. Why are you saying that?” she asked as started crying.
Brent could only reach out and hug her, comfort her in her confusion. “I explained it earlier.”
“Why did you let that, that, bug thing change me into this?!?”
“Because I authorized it, Jeff, not Dolnagk. He saved you and he has a name! Use it! And I did it to save your life! Things went wrong and you were dying! I couldn’t let you die. I was selfish, okay? I didn’t want to be alone! Are you happy? It’s because I needed you here, with me! Us against the world? Remember? Now it’s us against the universe. Side by side and standing tall! Well, one of us anyway,” Brent finished with a snicker.
Dolnagk stood there passively, waiting for their conversation to conclude. When she turned back to him, she said, “I’m sorry, I’m a little freaked out right now. What were you looking for my acceptance for? What did you need?”
“Information first. I must ask, are you of the age of consent? Legally of age of contract?”
Are you asking if I am an adult, no not for another year and a half. Why? What does it matter?”
“Please bear with my questions Jeff. In your new body, do you now have legal guardians by your planet’s laws?”
“Oh God! Oh God, Brent! I don’t exist anymore, I don’t have any ID, what am I going to do?” she asked as she started crying into Brent’s chest.
“I guess that answers your question Dolnagk. Now what?”
“Jeff Simmons, may I adopt you into my pod as one of my brood? This would also make any lifemates eligible for inclusion into my brood as well. Please think on this very carefully, as this may take you away from Earth.”
Jeff just stared at Dolnagk for a few minutes, going over everything and its repercussions. “Would this negate our destruction. Dolnagk?”
“I am not positive on the outcome of this gambit? Yes, gambit, but it is the only solution I have found. I am sorry, but this is the only one. The only drawback is finding a way to have you become lifemates, as I do not believe my commander would allow it to be performed on his ship.”
Jeff looked at Dolnagk again and thought for a moment before asking “Dolnagk, are planetary customs binding in your system of governance?”
“Generally speaking, yes they are, but usually only when they are coincident with our own.”
Looking from Dolnagk, she turned to Brent. “Brent, would you be my lifemate?”
Brent could only stare at her, taken aback by her question. “Uh, uh,” he could only stutter in reply, in shock.
“He’ll come around, Dolnagk. On Earth, the captain of a ship can marry a couple legally. But I’m not sure where the ship is required to be to make it legal. It could be here in the US on the water, or it might be 200 miles offshore.”
As they were talking, they heard a small “Yes” come from Brent. Stronger this time, Brent followed up with “Yes, I will become your lifemate.”
Thus, it was decided that was what they would do, set the ship on a course back to the ship, and after filing the proper paperwork (Yes, bureaucracy is universal), they were on their way!
Epilogue
“You know Jessica, I can’t believe I had to ask your father’s permission to marry you on the ship.”
“I can. I think he learned a few things from you during the week I was getting “fixed”.”
“Oh? What might that have been?” Brent asked, perplexed.
“A sense of humor. I think that was his first joke.”
Bent could only stare in mock horror. “Oh my God, we make first contact, and I went and corrupted their whole race.”
“Not to worry, hon, I think he has a bigger joke waiting after he finishes training for his new role.”
“And what might that be, sweetheart?” he asked, kissing her gently.
“He said he is taking his broodpod with him to open diplomatic ties with Earth and open their first Embassy!”
“That’s all fine and dandy, Jess, but what are our parents gonna say when they find we’re married and you’re pregnant?”
“Oh God, we’re doomed!”
Finis?
Zach loved the outdoors: the fresh air, the open spaces, the rugged mountains, the sheer diversity of nature. Maybe what he liked most was the fact that there wasn't any of those damn LGBT types out there. Heck, that was why he was out there now, them and their damn Pride parade! Still, storming through the woods and mountain trails helped work off some of the anger, though there was still a lot left. Maybe if he wasn't so angry, he would have paid more attention to where he was going that misty morning, would have been more sure of his footing. Unfortunately, such things are left as afterthoughts of such incidents and looked back on in hindsight.
The leaves were wet with the mist that had been in the air all morning, making them slick and acting like water on a slide, hastening his downward acceleration. Hoping for a tree or something to grab onto or at least slow his descent, he suddenly realized where he was headed: The Lookout! A small ledge on the rim of the gorge above the local river; not all that tall by most standards, but at 120 feet, most certainly a bad ending. Heck, talk was that someone had killed themselves out here some years ago, not that Zach knew the whole story, having just moved into town with his parents a few years ago. And still upset at leaving his friends behind. And for what? So what if his dad managed to get a transfer out here? More money? Was that all he cared about? What about him, Zach? Wasn't he important at all?
As he came to the precipice, he was fervently praying for a miracle he was unsure would be heard, all the while trying to gain purchase on the stone of the Lookout, his last hope of stopping growing slimmer. As he reached the edge, he thought he saw someone, but wasn't sure, as his head decided to bounce off the rocks before he went over, hands scrabbling for any purchase he might be able to find. In his blind panic his hand grasped something! An old frayed rope! As he brought his other hand around to try to grasp it, he could feel a burning sensation in his hand and knew if he survived he would have one hell of a rope burn on his hands. Grasping the rope for dear life, he managed to bring himself to a stop, some 20 feet or so from the ledge above him, better yet, some 10 feet from the bottom of the rope.
Swinging there, trying to get his heart and panic under control, he could feel the texture of the old hemp rope grinding into his flayed palms, the sweat making them sting and the blood starting to make them a little slippery. He started the slow climb back up the rope and made it almost halfway, but try as he might, he couldn't find the strength to go any further. As he hung there, panting and dizzy from the pain, he saw someone at the top!
"Help me!" he called out, but the person up top just looked at him with sorrow in her eyes.
"Sorry," she seemed to whisper, barely audible above the wind, as she started to shy away from the edge.
"Wait! Where are you going?" he called up to her. "You've got to help me!"
"I can't help you, I couldn't even help myself!" she cried.
"You can't leave me, I'll die without some kind of help!" Zach hollered back over the suddenly rising wind. "you've got to help me!"
As Zach hung there, he realized it was getting darker and the wind was definitely picking up. 'Was a storm coming in?' he wondered.
He also realized she hadn't answered back the last time. "Are you still there?" he tentavely asked.
"Yes, where else could I go?" She replied.
Maybe to get some help? By the way, what's your name? I can't just keep calling you 'Hey' all the time. Oh, and I'm Zach." he called back up to her.
"I'm... Cassie. Cassie Zumwalt," she replied.
While they were conversing, the clouds grew darker and the wind which was getting stronger, started letting loose with a few raindrops which were threatening to become a downpour.
"Cassie, why can't you go and get help? You made it up here, didn't you? There has got to be something you can do, isn't there?" Zach pleaded, literally for his life as the wind started howling up the gorge, making him realize how cold it was and how tired he was becoming.
"I can't help you, I just can't! Don't you understand?" Cassie yelled back.
"Understand what?!"
"I'm dead! I killed myself up here and I am stuck here now!" Cassie was crying now.
Now it was Zach's turn to wonder. "If I am talking to a dead person, am I dead now, too?" he started mumbling to himself. It didn't really help when Cassie came over the ledge a little further and answered.
"No, you are still alive, for a while yet, until you can get back to the top," Cassie answered, "but I can stay til you get back up here or someone comes."
"Can I ask a personal question, Cassie? You know, since I am just hanging here," asked Zach.
"I... I guess so," replied Cassie. Since she had been up here, she had been so lonely and with no one to talk to. She realized only now lonely she truly was. And it made the pain worse.
"Why did you kill yourself, Cassie?" he asked, barely audible, even to himself, afraid he might upset the last possible person he might talk to in his life.
"I.. I was hurting. I couldn't be what everyone wanted me to be. I couldn't be me. I wasn't what God wanted me to be so I must have been evil, an abomination to God."
Zach was genuinely puzzled now. "How could you be evil? God doesn't make mistakes, He loves us all. Didn't he give up his son to save all of us?" Zach was not a really religious person, but he remembered that much from Sunday services. And now he was concerned not for himself, but for her as well. He HAD to make it back up, if only so he could find out more, so he started the trip back up the rope.
Cassie noticed this and decided to try to encourage his progress. It was all she could really hope for, for she still cared about others, though she didn't care at the time she died. "Come on, Zach! You are almost at the top! Just a little more and you'll make it!"
"I'm tired and cold and wet, I need to rest," he whined, almost to the top, but also nearly spent.
"Zach! No! I need you to be okay, I need you to promise me something! Please?!" Cassie yelled at me.
"what? I don't think I have the strength left to make it,' he said, as his grip on the rope started to weaken.
"Zach! Hang on, please, I really need you to tell someone something and I need you alive to do it. Please!" Cassie pleaded, reaching out to try to do something, anything and inside she was praying to God that she could get some help, anything to help Zach.
And as she reached out to him, she was able to grab him! To say they were both surprised would be an understatement and to call it a miracle would be more appropriate, but with no witnesses, who would believe him. "Cassie! You're real! Help me please!"
And with her pulling him up and him struggling to pull himself up, he was able to reach the top and heave himself over the ledge, panting heavily. That was when he noticed Cassie glowing. Not a lot, but enough to see here there in the gloom. But as he was noticing this, he also saw her fading, and yelled out to her "Cassie, what's happening. What is going on?!"
"I don't know, I feel like I am being pulled away! Before I go, I need you to tell Jerry Sommers that I am sorry, so very so-" Cassie said as she faded from view.
Zach just sat there in stunned silence for quite some time, while the rain washed the blood from his hands, revealing the raw, ugly wounds from the rope that had saved his life. He slowly noticed voices in the distance, down the trail from where he was. "Up here! I'm up here at the Lookout!" he yelled out, hoping the heard him.
His hopes weren't in vain, as several people with flashlights and raincoats came into view. "man, am I glad to see you all! This has been one weird day," Zach told them.
"What happened? asked one of the younger guys, noticing the wounds on Zach's hands.
"I was up above the trails a bit when I slipped and came down the hill here and over the ledge. I was really lucky there was a rope there."
At that statement, the young man who asked what had happened turned really pale. "What's wrong, Jerry?" asked the girl next to him, "are you OK?"
'Hmm,' thought Zach, 'I wonder...'
Saying nothing, Jerry reached over the edge and grabbed the rope and brought it back up. "Is this the rope?" he asked Zach.
"Yeah, why? It just saved my life."
Holding it in his hands, Jerry could see the blood on from Zach's but still wondered. As he was examining it, he gave it a few hard tugs between his hands and was surprised when it broke.
"How," Zach started to say, then remembered his earlier train of thought. "Are you Jerry Sommers?"
"Yeah, do I know you?" he asked, having no memory of meeting this kid.
"Not that I know, but someone told me to tell you something before she left. She said she was 'sorry, so very sorry' whatever that means."
Turning, with tears in his eyes, Jerry started back down the trail. Zach started to follow, but a gentle hand on his arm stopped him.
"Let him go, please. He needs some time, I think," said the girl from earlier. "By the way, my name is Amanda, what really happened up here? We saw the storm come up and noticed you hadn't come back and got worried."
"Wait, you're the people from that parade in town, aren't you?"
"Guilty as charged. Pride, and a memorial of a lost friend, Jerry’s brother. He killed himself up here 5 years ago and the family never talked about it and was never explained in the papers. Jerry helped start this group but never said why, although we think it may have something to do with Charles, his brother."
The group had started back down and had caught up with Jerry, who was standing a little off the trail, looking out into the dark. Walking over towards him with Amanda training behind him, Zach asked "Jerry? Mind if I ask a personal question?"
Breaking out of his reverie, Jerry looked over and said "Huh? Yeah, I guess, I can always not answer if it is too personal."
"Did you know Cassie?"
"Not long enough, not nearly long enough," he said as he turned away with tears in his eyes and walked away down the trail, shoulders slumped.
Zach followed along, deep in thought, wondering what he could do for her. Maybe just telling her story would be a start.
"The price of freedom is eternal vigilance."
-- Thomas Jefferson
All Hallow's Eve; Hallowe'en; the holiday so crucial to my personal journey of self-discovery. It's hard to believe it has been almost a year since HE won the election. How did it happen? Some said it was vote fraud, others said it was just a better run campaign. Me? I don't know, but am leaning to the former. Looking back at it, it couldn't have just been the pendulum swinging back, it was just too well orchestrated, too well thought out and played. In the end, we just rolled over.
"If you will not fight for the right when you can easily win without bloodshed; if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a small chance of survival. There may even be a worse case: you may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves."
-- Winston Churchill
Surely they couldn't just repeal all our freedoms and protections granted in the last 10 years? Should have seen the writing on the wall, after the Supremes started mysteriously dying and were replaced with HIS selections. But like the frog that doesn't realize his fate as the heat is oh so slowly raised til he is boiling, we failed to observe the entire picture. I guess we have failed Freedom and Liberty. Maybe someone will see this in the future and realize what happened, but I am begining to lose hope that the human race has a future.
"The jaws of power are always open to devour, and her arm is always stretched out, if possible, to destroy the freedom of thinking, speaking, and writing."
-- John Adams
First came the repeal of all LGBT rights, followed by the inevitable court cases As the challenges went to the Supreme Court, surely they would overturn them, but we were to blinded by our own hubris and could not see it happening, the unthinkable. The new repeals were upheld. Now here I am, waiting alone in the dark on Hallowe'en, unable to get on my websites; Fictionmani, Storysite, TGEA, even TopShelf and Stardust, all 404's. Tried calling Erin; no answer. Same for Jenna, Cat, Holly, all of the people I know how to contact, no answer, as if they dropped from the face of the Earth.
I am afraid I am the last.
I am afraid of the coming knock on the door.
I hear several sets of footsteps coming up the stairs.
Do I make a stand or submit quietly, and fade away into history, never having the will to fight for my right to be.
Or, do I end it myself? I only have the single clip for the little Taurus Millenium Pro, only 12 rounds between me and freedom, of one kind or another.
Knock, knock, knock.
Last Hallowe'en
Sarah couldn't believe the early Hallowe'en party and the guys that were here. ‘Granted, maybe She-Hulk wasn't the best costume idea,’ she thought. Yeah, she was tall and big, but that didn't give them the right to paw at her like they were doing. ‘Why can't I just find a guy that's kind, and romantic?’ she continued thinking while slipping out to find one of the tables outside. ‘Someone to talk to me, not at me,’ she sighed.
Looking around, she saw another girl at one of the tables. Thinking that misery loves company, she walked over and softly asked, "Do you mind if I sit here?"
The girl started a little as she spun to face her. "Oh! Hi," she stammered a little, "you startled me!" Sarah noticed her grabbing some kind of pill bottle off the table as she was trying to find a pocket to put it in before fumbling for her purse.
"Hey, sorry to startle you, everything okay? You look a little pale. I'm Sarah by the way," Sarah said, puzzling over the girl's odd behavior.
"Sarah Wallace, the Varsity basketball captain, right?" the girl replied with a question. "I've seen you around school."
"The one and only!" she replied, still trying to place the strange-acting girl as it dawned on her who "she" was. "So, what's been going on, haven't seen you around lately."
Realizing Sarah recognized him, Kyle began, "hospitals suck. Cancer sucks even more," she replied, hoping to scare her away, but Sarah seemed to be of a stronger mind than that.
"I was wondering. I was pretty sure we didn't have any pregnant cheerleaders. Going by Kyle Jenkins tonight or...?" She asked.
"Krystal," she said in a soft tired voice. "At least for the end credits," she softly muttered into the darkness.
Sarah was a little worried now. She was a natural leader, she was the team captain for that very reason, but she was in unfamiliar territory here. She saw the pill bottle, heard Krystal talk about a hospital and cancer, and those last few words chilled her very soul. It shouldn't have bothered her in the slightest, her dad was a doctor, and her mom was a geneticist and bioengineer at the University, and she could be emotionally detached at times.
"So, Krystal, come out for fresh air or to think?" Sarah asked, trying to keep the conversation going. "The guys are getting grabby in there, so that was why I came out, did they try to get you too?"
"Ha! As if anyone would look at me, I'm a dying freak!" she hoarsely said as the tears started.
"Why would you think that? Everyone has a soulmate or 10 out there that they haven't found yet. I am sure you will find them, kind of like I hope I can someday" she wistfully assured her new friend.
"Shouldn't that be a 'soulmate or 2'?" she sniffled back.
"Oh, sorry, was me thinking in binary again," she said smiling, trying to coax Krystal from the edge of the abyss. "So, you never said what brought you out here to the tables. The party is inside, you know?"
With a sniffling giggle-snort, Krystal took a napkin to use as a tissue and blew her nose and cleared a few tears, and continued talking to Sarah about school, home, hospitals, life, and even dreams. After a few minutes of small talk, exchanging contact info and the like, Sarah suggested they go back in. Krystal, on the other hand, didn't want to go anywhere and started to half-heartedly lash out at Sarah. "What do you care anyway, aren't you afraid you'll get it too?"
"Get what, cancer? No, it's not contagious. Only idiots think that way. Hell, they probably think they could catch 'teh gay' that way!"
She had to think of a way to get Krystal's mind elsewhere, somewhere more peaceful, so she tried asking about things she knew about him. "Say, don't you have a class with Jen?"
"Jennifer Astarte? Yeah, art class. Been there the last 3 years. Still no idea how she sculpts like she does, but I like to think I can do 2D stuff better."
"Tudee? Oh. 2D, like two dimensional? Got it! Yes, Jen is that way, I swear she thinks in 3D with some of the moves she makes on the court," she said, shaking her head. "I know you are a bit on the geek side, I bet you have an eidetic memory, it would make painting and whatnot a lot easier," she mused."
"Yes, it definitely does that. but it also doesn't help me forget things," she said sadly.
"Oh, what's going on?" Sarah asked, nonchalantly.
"Dreams, hopes, you know, the little things in life."
'Well,' she thought to herself, 'this isn't working, what else can I try?' Thinking about the situation and conversation as a whole, she decided to take the plunge and just ask Krystal point blank. She reached out and took Krystal's hands in hers and slowly rubbed her thumbs on the back of Krystal's hands while slowly starting to talk. "Krystal, I want to ask something, something personal. Something we haven't said, but talked around. Do you mind, hon?"
Sarah's question was met with silence, but Krystal didn't pull away, and so, taking the silence as a no, Sarah pushed on, finally asking her, "Are you really Krystal? Is this really you, the real you? Is this why you are afraid?"
Krystal could only sit there, silent tears slowly rolling down her cheeks, and weakly gave a little nod. Catching her breath and calming down a little, she finally said, "Yes, but I only just found me, and now I am going away..."
Sarah could only sit there, afraid to break hand contact and wanting to move around to her side and hold her while she cried. Making a decision, she carefully moved her hands, her right moving to Krystal's left hand and getting up and moving in a clockwise motion, maintaining touch and moving her hand up Krystal's arm. until she sat next to her, embracing her in a tearful hug, where they both started crying. Sarah took Krystal's pain and Krystal letting her soul-felt pain finally come out in a cathartic moment.
"Krystal? Hon? I have one more huge favor to ask of you, so please hear me out before answering? Please?" Sarah pleaded in a small fearful voice. She was not used to pleading for some, she was a leader after all. Sure, she asked for things politely, but to plead? To beg even? What was she doing? This wasn't her! Yet she couldn't ask, only plead, she couldn't figure out why or what was happening. And she was afraid, afraid of a possible denial.
With a shuddering breath, along with a few hiccoughs, Krystal finally answered, "Yes."
After they both calmed down a little more, Sarah asked for that favor, and it wasn't a small one either. "Krystal? I saw that bottle earlier."
Krystal jumped at the mention of the bottle but remained silent as Sarah had not asked anything yet and waited for her question.
"Krystal, I am going to sit here and not let go of you until one of two things has happened, but it is up to you now how it goes. Can I have that bottle? I promise to give it back after we meet at the School Hallowe'en dance, er sorry, Harvest Festival and dance next weekend."
Krystal's breath started coming faster until the world started closing in on her. Those were her final ticket out, for when the pain got to be too much from the cancer! She couldn't lose them! She started struggling, trying to break loose, her weakened 5' 7" frame was no match for Sarah's athletic 6' 1" body and she collapsed against her, fresh sobs coming out.
"Shh. shh, it's okay, it'll be alright," Sarah soothed her, hopefully, new friend. "All I want is an answer, any answer will do. Please? For me?"
"They're... they're for the end. Mom got them for me, they were from my uncle before he died. It got him too, and she didn't want me to through Uncle Ron's pain. Dad knows about them, too."
"How far?"
"How far what?"
"How far into the cancer, you can still fight it, right?" she asked.
"Stage 4. it metasided? Metastided?"
"Metastasized?"
"Yeah, that was it. It already spread, that's why I'm so thin*boned but got this belly. And the pain. They said it's an aggressive cancer, lucky me,"
"Is the pain really bad?"
Not yet, the other pills help. But that pain? Yeah, I could live with that if I was me, the me I should have been."
"So, about that question?"
"I can't, you could get in so much trouble, I couldn't risk it. I shouldn't even have them."
"Please? For me? If you go that route, so will I," Sarah told Krystal, "I mean it!"
Krystal felt trapped between two bad decisions. "Can I have them back whenever I want between now and then?' she asked.
Sarah's reply came as a bit of a shock to Krystal when she said "No."
"No?" she replied with a puzzled expression.
"No, doofus. Not at school or in public in daylight. You'd have to come to my house to get them, like maybe after school."
"Oh, okay," she replied, still thinking.
"Listen." Sarah said, "it's still early enough and this party sucks anyway, I can take you to my house to meet my mom and dad, and I can show you where I will lock them up. Will that help you decide?"
"I can't go to your house, not dressed like this, and definitely can't let your parents see me like this!"
"Why not? You're very passable, we'll just pass through quickly, they'll barely notice you and we'd avoid the meet and greet part. Will that work?"
Krystal was really torn; as Kyle, he'd only been on two dates, both unmitigated disasters, and he'd just about given up on finding a girl to talk to, let alone date. Now, here he was with the school's varsity co-captain, inviting him, well, her, to her house. Plus, she'd been talking to her for more than the sum total of his high school conversations with all the other girls combined. He felt he had to start somewhere, so she agreed to go with her. He really hoped he was making the right decision.
*******************
After we ditched the party, she had me follow her to her house where she repaired my face in her car. Hey, she had a dome light that worked! After I got out of the car, my nerves started getting the better of me. What the heck did I think I was doing?!? As I slowly completed my slow march to the door, I whispered to Sarah, "Do I have to go in?"
"No," Sarah replied, "you can just give me the bottle before I go in and I will put it away. Or are you wanting to back out?"
I stared up at Sarah. Her eyes were liquid pools of pure azure, the deepest blue I had ever seen, much better than the grey-silver hue of my own blue eyes/ Her fine, delicate nose above the cupid's bow of her perfect lips; not too thick, not too thin, just the right shape, even if the color was off. The type of lips that invited a person to kiss them. She-Hulk fit, she's a half foot taller than I am, and could clean the floor with me without breaking a sweat. I couldn't. I shouldn't. I have to go in, I can't kiss her.
Sarah meanwhile stared down at the erstwhile cute blonde, pregnant cheerleader, waiting for her to either kiss her or decide to go inside. Either way, she was going to get the pill bottle from her!
Krystal broke eye contact and started breathing again and said, "I guess we better go in."
"Okay, it's always your decision. I don't want to push you," she said as she grabbed her hand and hastily tried to reach the stairs and go up to her room. Unfortunately, her dad saw her and greeted her with “Hi, Princess, how was the party?"
"Great, dad!" she replied from the bottom of the staircase. "Me and Krystal are going to my room for a minute, she has to get home in a little bit."
"Krystal and I, honey, and maybe you should introduce your guest to your father and me, and perhaps offer her something to drink? I know I taught you to be a better hostess than that," her mother said as she came around the corner at the top of the stairs.
Krystal was near panic mode by this point, and it was everything Sarah could do at this point to keep her calm. "Okay, mom. we'll be in the kitchen and then go to my room. This is Krystal Jenkins, she goes to school with me and she has had a rough night. We really need to talk, please," she said, hoping her mom would take a hint.
As Sarah turned Krystal around to go back downstairs, Krystal managed a quick head turn and nod saying "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Wallace," as she hurried down the stairs in front of Sarah. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, they met her dad coming back from the kitchen in the slightly darker hallway, where Krystal remembered to say, "Hello Dr. Wallace, it’s nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, too," he said in passing. ‘At least someone remembered their manners, she seems like a nice enough girl, but being pregnant at 17 seems a little promiscuous. Oh well, I don't know the story, so not going to say anything’ he thought to himself on the way back to his den. He then paused and went back towards the kitchen to remind his daughter that she shouldn't give her anything with too much caffeine. When he got there, he saw Krystal giving his daughter the little pill bottle and crying while Sarah just held her. Not saying anything, he managed to back out undetected by the girls but not his wife.
"Were you going to ask them something?" the other Dr. Wallace asked her husband quietly at the bottom of the stairway.
"I am not sure," he said, deep in thought.
"What is it honey, is something wrong?"
"Can you come to the den, sweetheart?" her husband asked worriedly.
While parents talked in the den, the girls in the kitchen were putting their faces back together and Krystal was getting ready to leave. "Please promise me you'll protect those, please?!"
"Cross my heart and pinky swear!" Sarah replied, crossing her heart and taking Krystal's pinky in hers before taking her to the front door, where they just stared at each other again for almost a full minute before reluctantly parting when they heard voices from the den. After closing the door, Sarah rushed to her room to put the little bottle in her own little safe, away from any other eyes.
As Krystal drove home, all she could think was "What have I done? How did she do this to me?"
*******************
Earlier, back in the den, the Wallace’s were in a deep discussion about what the father had seen. "Are you sure about what you saw, dear?"
"Yes, it was a small pill bottle. I know I have seen it before, it's very unique; I am just trying to remember where I have seen it before. let me look something up real quick." Putting action to words, he fired up a special web page, putting in some search parameters. As he was scrolling through the search results, he heard the front door close as he found it and paled visibly.
"What is it dear, what's wrong?" his wife asked, starting to get concerned, watching her husband just sitting there, numbly staring at the screen. When she started looking at what he was reading and saw it, she could only put her hand to her mouth and mutter "Dear sweet God!"
"Now what do we do?" his wife asked.
"Family meeting time, now"! he hissed.
After they left the den, Sarah's mother yelled up the stairs, "Sarah Michelle Wallace, family meeting. living room, NOW!" then turned to join her husband in the living room.
Upon hearing her full name, she knew she was busted for something and just knew it had something to do with Krystal, er, Kyle. Did they figure out she was a boy? She was worried now.
As she slowly entered the living room, she sheepishly greeted her parents, "Mom, daddy."
"Don't daddy me, Sarah. We need to discuss something very serious."
"What?" she asked, really afraid now.
"I saw you two in the kitchen," he stated, giving her the chance to come clean.
She looked from her dad to her mom and back.
She tried to think; all she did was calm her down when she started crying after she gave her the bottle. Oh crap, what if he recognized it?!? "Daddy, can I talk to mom privately for a few minutes?"
"No, it's beyond that stage now, we both know what that bottle is for. What do you have to say about it?" her father asked in a stern heavy voice.
"Daddy, can I ask one question? Please, just one, then we can talk? What would you do to try to save mom if she was dying?"
"What?!? What kind of question is that? And what does it have to do with what we are discussing?" he almost yelled while running his fingers through the hair at his temples.
Sarah was starting to cry at this point, and she was starting to understand something about Krystal/Kyle. "It's why I have to talk to momma, I don't know what is happening anymore! I have to know what you would do, you always have the answer to everything I've ever asked. Help me, daddy, help me figure this out! Please!" she started sobbing heavily now.
At this point, her mom came over to her husband and asked, "Are you sure you are ready for this talk, James?"
James was having second thoughts but knowing the contents of that bottle steeled his resolve. Whatever drove his daughter to get that cursed bottle was the most important thing now and was something he would face with his wife at his side and he at hers. "Yes," was all he said.
"Sarah, honey, I know what that bottle is also. What is so important that you would get a bottle like that? Do you even know what it is?"
Sarah's voice was barely above a whisper as she said, "Death."
Why on earth would you want to take that?"
"To save someone's life, someone I don't really know, but can feel? Someone I almost understand but still don't know but want to? I don't know!" she all but sobbed, crying tears she didn't know she even still had.
"Princess, those bottles are very hard to come by. Hell, even I would have issues getting them. I don't want it in this house or anywhere near it, do you understand?"
No, but I finally understand you don't know everything if can't answer my question."
Dear, don't blame him, most guys don't understand love, Hell they'll sometimes admit they don't understand it. They only understand when they can't take a breath or face their fears of losing something they hold dear. James, are you sure you want to stay for this? I understand the original question now, and it makes all the more sense to me now."
He sat there a moment, then made a decision. "Right, this will take a while, does anybody else want some tea? I'll be in the kitchen making a full pot and will bring it through in 15 or so minutes after I think on this for a bit," And with that, he wandered off to the kitchen.
And so, the discussion went on, the tea grew cold, and love and death, and their separate meanings and they wove themselves together in life.
While Her dad made tea and thought about her question, Sarah and her mom talked. "Tell me more about Krystal, hon, who is she, and how did she end up pregnant at her age? And why on Earth would she have that horrid little bottle?"
Sarah chewed on her lower lip, trying to figure out what to say, and finally decided the truth was always best. "Mom, she's a he, Kyle. He goes to my school but is going through some medical issues as well as a new one she, he discovered this week."
"That was a boy? And you fell for her? Him. I thought you loved boys?"
I do mom, did. I like boys. But I don't know what happened, we started talking and just connected, she isn't like this in school. He! Oh God, that's part of the problem. Mom, can we treat this like Dr/Patient thing, the confidentiality part?"
"You do realize your father and I don't keep secrets, right?"
"Yes, why would you, you're like 2 parts of a whole. Is that what is happening to me?"
"Maybe, possibly? No relationship is ever exactly the same."
"Do you think dad can answer my question? Truthfully, mom, this is the first time I have ever doubted him, and it hurts inside, and I want him to be able to answer, I want daddy to make it better."
"He will certainly give it his all, he loves you more than life itself sometimes, dear."
"Who wants tea?" her dad asked as he brought the pot, cups, and other items in.
"Here, let me help you with that, James," her mom said.
Soon, they had tea ready and after her dad sat down, he looked at Sarah for a moment, then shook his head. "Let me start by saying, guys don't do love the same way girls do. We look for ways to prove things while you do things for us to show us your love. You have faith in men to keep your love, while we fear losing your love and must always be proving it. Your question made me think and made me fear losing you, and I am sorry I reacted the way I did. To answer your question, I think I would do anything to save her life, to keep her safe, the same as I would do for you."
"Would you risk going to jail to keep her safe? Would you turn your back on the laws to keep her alive? Would you lay down your very life and soul for her, us, to keep us safe?"
Looking first to his wife, then to his daughter, he said but one word. "Yes."
"That's the answer dad, that is love, and that is what I am feeling with Krystal. I am sure of it now."
"Okay, I must have missed something here," Dr. Wallace said.
"Dear, while you were out making tea, Sarah and I discussed Krystal, or should I say, Kyle."
"That pregnant girl was a boy?"
"Yes, dear, she's a boy, but there are other issues and Sarah was about to tell me what the bottle is for, but wanted assurances of confidentiality."
"That bottle is so illegal I want no part of it!" he stated forcefully.
"Would you do it for your daughter's love?"
"That isn't fair! You can't just use my words like that against me! What you are asking is illegal, I could go to jail for it!"
"So, you don't love me then, don't trust me enough to make the proper decision, then?" Sarah said questioningly. She then stood and turned to her mother. "Mom, I am feeling drained and should probably get ready for bed and go to sleep. May I be excused, please?" she asked formally.
Mother looked at her daughter and told her, "Yes dear, but I will be up to talk to you before you go to sleep. Talk to you later, sweetheart," then hugged her and kissed her forehead before Sarah left to get ready for bed.
"Did you listen to what you just said, after you told her what love was, what you would do for that love?"
"That's different, I could lose my license, lose everything, just to make her happy. She'll get over it, she always does," he said.
"Will a license keep you happy without her? Will all this, the house, the money, the car, will all that keep you warm and satisfied as you grow old and lonely without a daughter? Or a wife? You just broke our little girl's heart, are you a skilled enough surgeon to put it back together?" And with that, she left James there to think about what he had just done
*********************
Kyle made it home, but his parents were still out. He didn't begrudge them their time, God knows he took enough of theirs. Hoping it wasn't too late, Kyle decided to call Sarah, just to hear her voice and talk a bit. having already gotten ready for bed, he hoped she was around and started getting nervous by the third ring before she answered.
"Hello?"
Hey Sarah, everything okay? You sound down."
"Everything's.... fine." she finally said.
"I... see. I didn't get you into trouble, did I?"
"No. it's not you. Listen, I need another favor. If I could, please?" she asked in a small voice.
"If I can, I'll try to do it. What did you need?" he responded, already dreading any questions.
"Listen, my parents, they know about the pill bottle and aren't happy about it."
Kyle felt his insides knotting up and going cold with dread.
"Don't worry! It's still safe, I still have it, but that isn't what I need to talk about... Ask about," she absently corrected. "Sorry, can I tell them what we talked about, about our cancer and... other things? Or can my mom call you and talk to you tomorrow about it? I am guessing she is worried about me."
Kyle thought about it for a few moments and had a question. "Sarah, your parents are doctors, right? They know about confidentiality and stuff, right?"
"Sure, Dad's a doctor and mom works in a lab, yes, they know how to keep secrets."
"Okay, tell them anything they need to know. By the way. what are you doing tomorrow?" "
Basketball practice in the afternoon, but that's it, should be free after 6'ish. Did you want to do something?"
Oh, never mind then, have some new chemo that starts at 3:00. Won't be done until 7:00 or so. and afterward, I will be a little out of it until Monday morning. May or may not be at school, but, hey, at least I still have my mind while my body falls apart around me, right?"
"Yes, you do at that," she said, letting out a strangled little giggle.
Meanwhile, her mom was at the door where she had been eavesdropping for the last minute or so and knew that strangled giggle from when she sat with her brother Ron; it was her own giggle while trying not to cry. She knocked on the door lightly, before leaning in and telling Sarah, "It's been a long night, hon, I'm turning in early, can we postpone our talk until the morning?"
"Okay mom, I should probably get some rest, too. Love you," she said as she got up to hug her mom.
"Same here, kiddo, same here," she said returning the hug.
After her mom left, she said goodnight to Kyle and then wished Krystal goodnight, too, before hanging up.
********************
Kyle, with Sarah's help, made it through the week, not having to talk to her parents so it must have worked out. Sarah arranged to meet Kyle Saturday morning to hang out before the Harvest Festival and dance/ Kyle noticed he was tiring out a lot faster now and not bouncing back as fast and was worried about the dance and festival and how long he'd last for Sarah. He hadn't told her he would be starting the stronger chemo plus radiation tomorrow so she wouldn't worry too much. For now, he would just enjoy his time as Krystal and let her have some fun. He did let Sarah know he would need to rest up to make it through the dance but would love a ride since he was so tired lately. It was no surprise he made it home just to fall asleep on his bed. It seemed only minutes but was several hours later that he got up and Krystal was soon ready for one last time/
The phone rang with Sarah calling to see if he was ready, she was waiting out in the driveway. As Krystal got in, Sarah said, "Looking great, Krystal! Ready to party?"
"The mind is willing, but the flesh is weak, literally," Krystal replied, giving her a smirk.
The fair was peaceful enough except for a jackass of a jock calling Kyle out as a fairy freak. but he got shut down hard by some of the other jocks and jockettes, including Sarah. And at the dance? She got several dances with Sarah, along with some of the jocks and jockettes from school, but ended up having Sarah take her back to Sarah's place to talk and rest up before the homeward trek.
Sarah's mom welcomed her in and got her settled on the couch while Sarah went to her room to grab what she knew Kyle wanted.
She was sitting there staring at it when her day knocked and came in, sitting next to her.
"So that's it then? That little bottle will let her go peacefully, no pain, no muss, no fuss?"
"Yes dear, one pill, sleep and it will be over. But she'll need it while she can still swallow. It has multiple layers to do all the necessary work to be effective, otherwise, it can get very painful."
"That's terrible, how could they let that happen to someone?"
"They don't anymore, Princess, that's why it was declared illegal. Too many tried to rush its effects. The fact she, he let you hold it for her showed how much faith she has in you. a faith I almost threw away out of blind fear, pride, hubris. Thank you for showing me the human side of that equation again," he said as he hugged her from the side. "You know, your mother also showed me that side again, too. She's downstairs talking to this boyfriend... girlfriend of yours about something that will test every last bit of faith he has. We better get down there, His parents should be here any time now," he told her as he got off the bed and headed for the door.
"Daddy?" she said in a small voice, "I'm scared. What if he decides to do it sooner rather than later?"
"Remember that faith Kyle had in you? That faith is in your court now, if it is true love, you'll know what to do with it."
********************
As Sarah can downstairs, Kyle was sleeping lying propped up on the couch. She knew then what she had to do, just have faith in her, easy peasy! She now knew what her dad had gone through, the doubt, the pain, the worry. It was all there, just waiting for her, waiting to see what she would do. She slowly eased her way onto the couch and carefully lowered Krystal's head to her lap, slowly brushing her ever-thinning hair with her fingertips while staring at her slowly changing face, noting the lines forming anew even while her face was growing thinner. She had to have faith that something would help her, him. Whoever she survived as, after all, the body is just a shell, but the person inside was still as beautiful. she would be here for her until the end, no matter if it was 18 or 80. Krystal made her whole, she would not lose that, she wouldn't let that happen!
The knock on the door startled her a bit until she remembered her dad saying that Krystal's parents were coming. Her mom met them at the door, making idle conversation before they made it into the living room. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins, sorry I can't get up," she said softly and apologetically.
"So, you're the girl that was keeping him occupied and energetic. Thank you for that. It's been a terrible time for his father and me. He has been very happy the last few weeks."
"It was my pleasure, ma'am, sh... He's been fun to be around. We kind of clicked," Sarah said smiling, occasionally looking down at Krystal and playing with her hair. "So, I assume dad called you over? Are you here to pick him up?" she asked, unconsciously moving her hand and arm protectively over him. This didn't go unnoticed by the two women in the room.
Just then, her mom spoke up, "No dear, I called them here. I have something very important to ask them."
"Barb, Joe, I'm not sure if Kyle has said anything about James and my occupations. James is a doctor and as for myself, I am a genetic bioengineer. By the pill bottle he carries with him, yeah, James recognized it, and it would appear that you trust your son very much. Would you be surprised that he let my daughter hold it in a safe place for a week? I am not sure of the whole reason behind it, but I know she has intense feelings for him, and it seems it is mutual. As I learned a week ago, love is a strange thing. It can move mountains and in this, it can create small miracles. What would ask of you at this point is what I am about to talk to you about goes no further than this room. Can you do that for me? Please, as one parent to another I ask this one indulgence, thank you." At their nods, she continued. "We are currently at the end of the full 5-year animal trials and are now seeking approval for human trials. However, this approval process will take another 2 to 4 years, and Kyle doesn't have that long, and we all know that. Let me say that I see my daughter and Kyle together, there is a spark there, one that I see, and hope barb sees as well."
At that point, Barb had been glancing at the kids occasionally and had noticed, it was like looking at herself so many years ago before she married the one she knew she'd spend her life with. She also saw the tears glistening in Sarah's eyes, as if she was hearing this for the first time as well, but was mature enough not to speak out of turn, Kyle's future lay in that direction, and she was afraid to make any move that might upset it, it wasn't her turn yet.
After looking at everyone in the room, Dr. Michelle Wallace continued, "I can get the genetic material started in a culture, but it will take 48 hours to confirm it took, and another 10-14 days for the culture to complete an accelerated cycle, at which point, the treatment could commence. Let me stress once again, that this would be illegal under the law, immoral under many codes, but maybe his only chance at surviving this cancer. From the records I have seen, he currently has 17 different genetic strains of cancers throughout his body, and to be honest, I just don't know if this will work on all of them; our trials only went to 5 strains. If I am to do this, it has to be unanimous, one no vote will scrub the whole project. If you want, you can discuss it overnight and we can meet here tomorrow if you want."
Barb was still staring at Sarah and Kyle, well, Krystal right now. She looked at her husband and into his eyes and saw the almost haunted look of despair. He nodded, followed by her nod. "Michelle, time is of the essence, right?" At Michelle's nod, she continued. "We should vote now, but we need Ky... Krystal awake for this decision. Sarah? Could you gently wake, her up, please?" she asked, holding her hands in front of her mouth and over her nose, as if in prayer.
Looking down at Krystal's sleeping face. she wondered just how tired he was, since he slept through the entire conversation. She slowly blew in his ear; she knew he hated that, then she started whispering something in his ear which elicited a response of "Just 5 more minutes, mom?" From Krystal and a few giggles from Sarah and the two mothers. Sarah started tickling his nose which brought a response of "Not fair!" and Sarah saying "Life's not sometimes, hon, besides, it's time to get up, it's decision time. That woke him up, sort of.
After Barb gave a quick recap of what Krystal slept through and Krystal and the others took care of business, everyone was back for the after the parents all voted "Yea", it was time for the kids to vote. Sarah started by saying, "Krystal, you are the other half of my soul, I will be lost and adrift if you don't want this but know I will stand by your decision, whatever it is." At that point, and keeping her promise, she took the pill bottle and placed it in the palm of his hand and folded his fingers back over it, then gave him a short, chaste kiss.
Krystal stood there, staring at her hand, Sarah's faith in him, and her, brought Krystal happiness, and helped him figure out what was missing in his life. Two halves of a whole. It sounded, nice, "Let's do this," she said.
Geneva at the front desk was the first to see Kim come in on Take Your Daughter to Work Day and noticed she had some kind of Vase but didn’t say anything except her usual “Good Morning!”
"Morning Geneva, going to be an interesting day with all these girls here today, isn’t it?”
That it is, Ms. Martin, that it is. There have already been a few come through, including Mr. Franklin and his daughter.”
“Jeff Franklin, the CEO’s son? Wonder what he is doing here? Hmm, anyway, take care Geneva.”
“You too, Ms. Martin.”
After settling into her office, Kim carefully placed the urn, for that was what it was, on a safe spot on her desk, looking at it sadly. ‘I would have done anything to have you here with me Jade. I hope you know that, wherever you are,’ she thought to herself as a tear rolled down her cheek.
She was noticing all the various girls of different ages in the office taking interest in different areas, when Jeff came into her office and asked if she could mentor his daughter for 30 or so minutes while he had a confidential meeting. He then introduced his daughter. “Jess, this is Kimberly Martin, she manages Accounts Receivables. Kim, do you mind if I call you Kim? Or do you prefer Kimberly?”
“Kim is fine, as long as I can call you Jeff?”
“Sounds good. Kim, this is Jessica, but she prefers Jess usually. Anyway, I hate to run, but the meeting starts in a few. Take care and I’ll be in conference room 211. Oh, and thanks, I owe you one.”
“No problem!” Kim said with a smile in her voice
The two women sat there for a few moments, wondering what each would do, when Jess spoke up and asked, “So, what is Accounts Receivable? And you manage it all?” she continued, looking around the office.
“Yes, I manage this tiny part of your grandfather’s company. As to what we do, and as for Accounts Receivable, we basically take care of making sure the bills that get sent out get paid and take the money from that for the company,” Kim slowly explained to the young girl.
They then started talking about the different parts of the company for a few minutes before Jess asked, “What’s that vase on your desk for, did the flowers die?”
It was at this point that Jeff came back from his meeting and overheard the conversation and saw the urn on the desk for what it was and saw Kim go pale at the question. “Jess, could you go get me and Kim some bottles of water from the break room? Do you remember where it is?”
“Sure, dad, be back in a bit. I need to use the restroom anyway.”
“Be safe and watch out for falling sheep, hun!”
“Daaad!” she playfully replied before leaving.
“You okay, Kim?” he asked as she was slowly caressing the base of the urn.
“Yes, I think… No, I’m not, not really. I thought I could do this, but now? I don’t know,” she said, on the brink of tears.
Jeff sat and let her work it out.
“Did you know I lost Jude a year ago today? I thought I could handle it, but…” she said, remembering Jude’s final days in hospice at home.
“Jeff? Did you know we talked a lot towards the end, me and Jude? About everything and nothing, really, but the biggest thing that hurt was finding a daughter I never knew about. Right after Jude was diagnosed, Tom started working longer hours at the law firm, until he filed for divorce, like it was Jude and my fault he got cancer and he didn’t want to deal with it. After that, I used to joke with Jude that he was now the man of the house and had a lot to do when he got better. He always got introspective after that so I quit joking with him about it.”
“He tried to fight it, but it was a fast and aggressive cancer. Except at the end. In hospice care at home, we talked, maybe the drugs helped, or the pain meds allowed him to think past the pain. No idea. But he told me I was mistaken, that he was never the man of the house, and that was when he told me about Jade, the daughter I never met, nor ever knew. She told me about her hopes and dreams that were never to come true, the places she’d never see but had traveled to in her mind on the internet.” All the while as she was talking, she kept caressing the urn, and it slowly dawned on Jeff why she had brought the urn in that day.
Jeff could only sit there and think of his wife’s battle 2 years prior, when Kim started talking again.
She asked me if I would have taken her to a “Bring Your Daughter to Work Day” and I could only say “Yes, I would be proud to do that for you.” Our conversations after that got harder for her, but she made me promise to take her later, even though she knew she wouldn’t see that day. She also made me promise to continue loving everyone like her grandma said was in the Bible. What was I supposed to say? I said “Yes, baby, I will try.”
““Momma, don’t just try, please do it. For me?” That was the last conversation we had, but I knew she was free of pain. And free of the bigotry, prejudice, and hate. All that hate she would have faced. Is it wrong of me to try to see the blessing her death might have been, or does that make me a bad person? A bad mother?” And with that, Kim slowly started crying.
Jeff looked around and found the tissues on the shelf and got her a few. He then reached over and put her phone on Do Not Disturb and closed the door.
“Kim, does doing any of those things make you any of what you described? No, it makes you a mother who loved her child and didn’t want to see them hurt. When I lost Cyndi almost 2 years ago, I wondered about a lot of things: What was I going to do without her, who would take care of us, of Jess, so many thoughts ran through my mind. But it was Jess who brought it all into perspective. She came into my den one night while I was on a self-pity/self-doubt rollercoaster and told me, “Daddy, Mom sent me a dream and to tell you she loved you and me and that was enough for her. She also says we still have a lot of love, enough for others and to share it. What did she mean, Daddy?”
There was a timid knock at the door and Jeff got up to open it. Jess looked up at him then over to Kim. “Daddy? I sort of heard what you guys were talking about. Can I say something?”
After glancing at a slowly drying up Kim and receiving a nod, Jeff said, “Sure Pumpkin, what do you have to say?”
“When mom said “Love is enough.” I never knew what that meant. I know now. Ms. Martin, Jade knew this, but was probably too young to say it right, or well, or whatever. She was just trying to say your love was all she ever needed or wanted, and you were always there to give it. I think that was what mom was trying to tell me, too.” As she was saying this, she had started tearing up as well. “Daddy? When we get home, can we go talk to mom? Please?”
Sure thing kiddo,” he said as he gave her a hug.
Jess slowly worked her way out of the hug and walked over to Kim and hugged her tight, saying almost inaudibly “Thank you Mom,” as they both of them started to softly cry.
That's it, typos and all, started 4 hours ago at the whim of my pesky Muse who got into the Monsters and White Chocolate...
She heard about the Challenge, found spouse's Monsters and my chocolate and this the what happened. Enjoy and may you shed less tears than I did while writing it. Be well and love all those around you. Hugs to all
Diana
What I learned during my Summer Vacation
By Becky Dunbar
English Composition and Grammar I
It started like the usual summer fare; glad to be out of school for the summer, just hanging around with friends, the usual Summer Vacation stuff. I was luxuriating in the feeling of being away from school and not having to learn anything. Then I heard my Uncle Dave had tried to kill himself over the Fourth of July holiday; almost succeeded, too, but he, or should I say, she is doing better now and I will be referring to her in the feminine from this point on since she is my Aunt Dawn now.
A little background is in order here, I suppose. Aunt Dawn was the one person in the family who always had time to listen to you and anything you might need to talk about, didn't matter when or about what, she just listened, never judged. I guess that is what her wife, Aunt Allyce (pronounced uh-leece please, woe betide anyone calling her Alice), sees in her; her empathy and her kind soul. But, who listens to the listeners? Seems she was hurting but was afraid to let it out, even to her wife. It is something it would take a lot of courage to talk about, even to those you trust with your life- your parents, spouse, anyone.
She is transgendered.
It hurt to see her in the hospital, shunned by a few family members, and hearing some of the things said about her. Sure, a lot of the family was supportive, but you could tell they didn't understand and were afraid of it because of that. But, and here is where the rest of my summer vacation came in; I got the chance to know my aunt's bravery and courage that continuing to live and what it takes to keep going is all about. You see, she is not alone in the world, our country, our state, or our town. Not alone at all in our family even. You see, I found out more about myself, too, and could finally put a name to it.
I am transgendered too.
I have been hiding all these years, from my friends, my family, myself. I had been traveling down my aunt's path the last several years and knew her pain as if it were my own, because, well, it was my own. To those who knew me as Ben, I am the same person I was before, just better able to be myself and stop hiding the truth from everyone. I am finally able to stop lying to everyone, including myself. In addition, the guilt, fear, shame and pain is mostly controllable now.
I have had many conversations with Aunt Dawn and with several doctors, and have started transitioning and am going to try to keep a journal of the path this leads me down; I don't know if it will be less painful to those around me than the alternative would have been, but I can say it will not be easy. All I can ask for is your kindness and understanding. And maybe something else; the chance to be me without hate and violence. That's all I ask.
ps Miss Halfelven, is transgendered a verb? I am not sure if I used the right tense in this paper and could not find any definitive reference in our school library. Thank you :)