An Irish Tale

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It's always St. Patrick's Day somewhere...
 

Flock of sheep in Ireland
Image by ralmonline alm (Flickr: Sheep.JPG), via Wikimedia Commons
An Irish Tale

by Joyce Melton

There once were two tall Irish brothers, each so tall that he was taller than the other. Sean, the older, taller brother, said one day, "We've a fine crop wool this year and lambs to sell as well. We'll get a better price for them if we go to London and find a buyer ourselves."

"Aye," said Seamus, the younger, taller brother. "Besides, it's a very good excuse."

They'd neither of them been to London before so they visited with their old Da to get his advice before venturing into the big foreign city.

"Ye'll do fine in London," said their Da, who was looking up, not being tall himself. In fact, he were a short man, shorter than two other short men put together. "But there's one thing to remember if you're going to the City. If you want a good beer, find yourselves a Bass house."

"We'll do, Da," promised the boys and they set out.

On reaching London, they had soon concluded their business and got a very good price for their wool and lambs as it had been a warm, mild winter in Scotland and the sheep there had not obliged by growing thick wooly coats at all. In fact, many a Scottish farmer had been forced to shear his pigs to get what wool he could, which is why, to this day, there are so many bald pigs in Scotland.

Feeling good about the price they had gotten for their fine Irish wool and lambs, the boys decided to celebrate with a beer and remembering their Da's advice they set out to find a Bass house.

The first pub they ducked into denied them. "'Tis Newcastle, boys," said the publican.

And in the second inn they found, the innkeeper told them, "We're pulling Watney's here."

But in the third tavern when Seamus asked politely, "Is this a Bass house?" the tapster merely nodded.

"Grand," said Sean as the two tall brothers seated themselves. "Two Guinness, please."

Image by ralmonline alm (Flickr: Sheep.JPG) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

And yes, I'm English, Welsh, Irish, Scots, Cherokee, and German. :)

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Comments

Wonderful!

"Each taller than the other."

This had me laughing out loud at three different places. Pretty good for less than twenty lines!

The twist of the tale

erin's picture

The thing about Irish storytelling is that it is always true and always full of such outrageous contradictions that you have to exercise your mind to grasp it. :)

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Priceless Joyce

After reading this I headed for some Bass myself, two Budweisers I said blowing off the heads.

Karen

Been a long time

erin's picture

It's been such a long time since I had a brew myself that I can't remember the cool, nutty taste of the Brown Ale I had last week in Laguna Beach. :)

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Sacrilege

As a proud Irish woman me self Nothing beats a good half and half when I’m looking for brew and don’t ever call it a black and tan around an Irishman or woman for that matter however my drink of choice is a good Irish whiskey

Guiness and Harp

erin's picture

For those not in the know, a half and half is Guinness, a dark stout, with Harp, a golden lager, poured underneath. Yes, you pour the Harp under the stout. Practiced drinkers can alternate sips of stout and lager from the same glass (it ain't easy). Irish whiskey is a malt whiskey from the same tradition as Scotch whisky but entirely different, smoother and more comforting. The biggest difference is that Scotch is smoky.

My favorite beer is a good porter or a red or brown ale. Porters are single stout, Guinness is a double or extra stout, but is similar. My favorite whiskey is straight rye, sharper than Irish with a nice peppery after bite.

Cheers,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Pigs’ wool

Joyce, you’ve finally explained my least comfortable sweater.

Ain't it so?

erin's picture

Lol.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

St. Patrick's Day

Last Saturday was my first real St. Pat's Day in my new home, St. Paul.

I live in a part of town where there are at least forty bars within two miles of my house.

I couldn't understand how every bar was more crowded than the any other bar . . . but your story made that Irish fact emerald-clear.

Jill

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Heh...

erin's picture

And to be sure, they were all drinking Guinness, eh?

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

The title made it irresistible to me

Iolanthe Portmanteaux's picture

A very cute little story... I guess on the way back to Ireland one of them turned into a girl?

lol,

- iolanthe

Another Irish Tail

erin's picture

Sean spoke to Liam. "Sure, and have you noticed how round your bottom is getting, brother mine?"

"You're daft, ye know that, don't ye?" Leann replied. "I've been your sister for seven years now, clowderhaid."

"And your bottom keeps getting rounder, to be sartin."

"It's lucky you are that you're my brother, or I'd be tumping you in the goolies for your teasing."

"Aye," Sean agreed. "And it is lucky that I have such a fine sister for a brother, for 'tis as true as the moon is round. And so's your arse."
 

-- Erin
 

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Given the ancestry stated

And yes, I'm English, Welsh, Irish, Scots, Cherokee, and German. :)
and the content of the story I have to conclude that you are descended from German shepherds.

Bru
(as purebred as they come, at least from the 14th century)