Photo by Wilson Vitorino from Pexels
 

Part 24 of 29

Saturday, October 26, 2013
Dress shopping with Eve and Mary Ann. I'm getting a real kick out of being a bridesmaid, something I never aspired to in my wildest dreams. Some of the girls I know on campus are addicted to something called Say Yes To The Dress and can go on for hours about finding the perfect wedding gown. Hey - I love wearing dresses and enjoy shopping on my rather limited budget, but really! I just can't get into gushing about this neckline or that train or who knows what else.

Eve seems to agree, she says that a lady in her seventies is not going to be wearing a wedding gown that leaves her tits practically bare. I think she's right, a grandmotherly lady with soft, gray hair isn't out to make all the men wish they were marrying her instead of the lucky guy waiting at the end of the aisle.

Eve's daughter Marissa and granddaughter Nichole made the drive in from their place a couple of hours away, so I got to meet them. It's strange to be a bridesmaid along with a woman old enough to be my mother - this being an adult can get confusing. I was almost used to calling people my parents' age by their first name by this time, but it still struck me as slightly disrespectful. When in Rome, as Grandpa says.

Nichole, Mary Ann and I got along splendidly while we were waiting around for Eve to try on yet another dress. Actually, the bridesmaid's dresses were pretty easy, Eve wanted a pastel rainbow so we each got the same dress in a different shade. Marissa was in rose, Nichole in a pale orange, I got yellow and Mary Ann got violet

I was surprised that we all got white shoes and then they were sent out to be dyed to match each dress. I never heard of such a thing. Oh well, one more thing I missed learning growing up a boy. I really wish someone would write a manual so I knew all these little things about being a girl.

Eve's bridal gown was very simple, not like some of the over-the-top creations I've seen at weddings in my former church. Scoop neck, three-quarter sleeves, hemline just below the knee (Eve still has legs worth showing off) and white, of course. I have to laugh since, according to Reverend Tally, white signifies the virginal state of the bride. Pretty weird when her daughter and granddaughter are her bridesmaids.

Tradition is made to be flouted. Just look at how I'm living my life.

I shudder to think how much all this is going to cost, and it's a simple wedding compared to some. Once again I have to be thankful that Grandpa and Eve have adopted me into their family, I have no idea how I could have survived if they hadn't .

How ironic that a self-professed atheist would display more Christian charity than a man who crams his faith down his family's throats. I have been told innumerable times that God moves in mysterious ways His wonders to pursue. Odd He should be using an atheist to make His point.

 
Thursday, October 30
Interesting discussion in the student union today. I was hanging out with Nick and Erin just shooting the breeze about whether we should go the the concert this weekend when the people at the next table got into a rather heated discussion. OK, shouting match.

Kate and Virginia, two of the more vocal feminists on campus were being annoyed by a couple of self-professed men's rights champions. Now anybody in their right mind should know such confrontations are as effective as a staring contest with a statue but that never seems to stop the true believers.

As the volume began to rise more and more people paid attention, including Erin (my resident lesbian buddy) and myself, our resident ostensible lesbian with a penis. Naturally, nobody knows about my penis.

What caught my attention was one dude quoting Colossians 3:18. "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." Interesting that the guy should be literate in the Bible but lost to rational thought. I've certainly become a feminist as I become more feminine.

Nick did a face plant on hearing that one and Erin just looked at me and said "Want to have some fun, Angel?"

"Why the heck not?" I replied

"Yo dude," sang out Erin. I ain't married so your patriarchal line of bullshit doesn't apply to me, and I have to wonder how any woman would want to marry someone like you with that attitude. You're going to be awfully lonely all by yourself."

"Now Erin," I said, "He don't look so bad to me. Knock off twenty pounds, some elevator shoes and a haircut and he might even be presentable."

"You need higher standards, girl. Why is it that the ones that can't get a girl are always spouting off about what a girl should do?"

"Be nice, Erin," threw in Nick, "just because he didn't pay any attention when his mamma tried to civilize him doesn't mean he's a complete looser."

"Who asked you to but in, buster?"

"Actually, when someone mounts his soapbox and starts declaiming it does invite public discussion."

"Uh Nick?" Erin asked. "If he had a soapbox, then logically he would have so access to soap and would have cleaned himself up a little better."

"I guess if he had a soapbox he could have stored a few reasonable arguments in it instead of that old biblical crap."

"The Bible is the inerrant Word of the Lord!"

"Which Bible do you mean?" I asked. "The Hebrew one? The Roman Catholic one? The Orthodox one? The Protestant one? The Lord has a whole lot of words to choose from."

I have been immersed in Bible Studies for as long as I could read, I just didn't buy the fundamentalist take on Biblical history. Good training for a future historian.

"Huh?"

"It sounded like you were quoting the King James version. You do know it was edited by a bunch of guys who never read the original texts and were trying hard to please the King so they could keep their heads attached?"

"Now Angel," purred Erin, "you're making it too complicated for these guys. I'd tell them about that the high muckety-mucks of the church argued for hundreds of years about what belonged in the bible and what didn't, but these guys like simple answers."

The two women who were the focus of the macho men were smiling at us.

"They don't seem to realize that there are people who are not Christian, and thus don't give a shit about what the bible says," Kate said with a smile.

"I suppose the next argument will be that women need men to protect them. I've always liked that one. Problem is, when they find out I like girls suddenly I ain't worth protecting any more," I added.

"Oh, you poor thing! I suppose Mary Ann could shove a five inch spike heel into some guy's crotch if he gets nasty."

I've never actually seen a guy turn green before. It really can happen!

"If that doesn't work I do have a black belt on my gi. I'd be glad to protect you, darling," Erin said in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"And don't forget there are people in this world that don't fall into the binary women-or-men gender stereotype," offered Virginia.

Uh-oh! This could get interesting!

"You mean the whole Bible thing about he made them man and and woman night be in error. Heavens!" I cried. "I thought he was just saying the Bible couldn't be wrong."

"Yeah, dude," challenged Erin. "What do you do with transgender people? When they're in transition, how do you tell which half should submit to the other half?"

A darn good question, if I do say so myself! Good thing I don't have to answer it.

"Look guys, none of us are in the market for what you're selling. Why don't you just move on and let us live our own lives? We'll be happy to let you do the same, as long as we don't have to listen to your bullshit."

They gave up, rather ungracefully it must be said, and moved on. And that's how I got to meet Kate and Virginia and make a couple of new friends.

"Hey Erin," asked Kate, "how did you come up with that transgender stuff? That really knocked them for a loop!"

"When you're an open lezzie we get to meet a few trans types, don't we Angel?"

"Can't argue with you about that, Erin. I do know someone like that rather well."

About time to change the subject! Please?

"You ought to bring her around sometimes - or should I say him?"

"I'm not sayin'. Privileged information. Besides, you use the pronoun that matches the appearance."

"Too bad. I'd love to hear what they would have to say to those dudes."

Little did she know!
 

Tuesday, November 12
Election Day. Sad to think that this is the first time I could have voted but I was too late to register as living at Grandpa's house by the time that became permanent. I did sign up when I had my license changed, but I'm going to have to wait until next year.

Grandpa and Eve were up and out to the polls early, even though this is only an off-year election. I'm going to have to start paying attention to local politics so I can vote intelligently next year.
 

Monday, November 18
Today the professor touched on how some of the classical theorists in psychology talked about gender, obviously a topic near to my heart - or should I say to my faux breasts? Freud claimed that gender identity emerges when children identify with their same-sex parent. For him, "healthy" gender development meant cleansing one's self of the "other" gender and that male and female identities essentially develop by repression of a natural bisexuality and emulating the same-sex parent. Considering how much influence my father had on me, I have to wonder why I'm sitting here looking - and feeling - like a female.

Alfred Adler had some different ideas that pissed off Freud. He thought that personality was not based on sexuality but on the individual's movement from a feeling of inferiority or inadequacy. Adler claimed that the most powerful expression of this movement was in protest against masculine privilege, which both women and men experienced in society. The guy was almost modern in some of his ideas.

Jung talked about the inner man and inner woman - wonder how that applies to me? I'm an inner man who lives as an outer woman. The more the prof talked about those old guys who founded psychology the more obvious it becomes that they were sexist to the core. I suppose that since their society was sexist to the core, it isn't surprising they thought that way.

The learned types have been arguing about this for a century or more, poor little me just has to laugh when I put on my bra in the morning. If these guys couldn't agree about gender then I'll just have to keep doing my own thing as long as it makes me happy.
 

Friday, November 22
Philosophy was interesting this morning. Instead of looking at a philosopher who is a bit out of the mainstream we looked at what a philosopher could do to make a living if he (or she!) doesn't land an academic job.

I have to wonder why the prof decided to talk about this particular topic! I guess the life of an adjunct professor isn't the most stable way to make a living.

Seems he isn't the only one - lots of people have thought about it. They came up with ideas like working in a big HR department, human service jobs, advising law firms about ethics, publishing, real estate, even going into the ministry. Thinking about ethics and philosophy can be helpful just about anywhere.

I guess you might have to be learn to be philosophical abut being an unemployed philosopher.

I suppose thinking philosophically will be a great help in my ambition to become a historian. I had no idea how much I was going to learn by going to college.
 

Audrey wasn't so full of hard questions this time, She was very complimentary about my new look, even though she was one of the first people to see me with short, curly hair. We talked about the friends I had made at college, how Mary Ann and I were getting along at different schools, what was going to happen at Thanksgiving.

I admitted I was a bit nervous about meeting Eve's family, but was looking forward to having Mary Ann's family there. I just wish my own family could have been there, but my father was still adamant. I had talked to Mom a couple of times and she seems to have found a way to reconcile my gender change with her faith.

Too bad Dad can't find the Bible verses she has, ones that talk about acceptance and love instead of exclusion and prejudice. She brought up an interesting take on Genesis 1:27. "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. That's the same quote I tossed at those two yahoos in the Union a while back.

Male and female, eh? Doesn't that perfectly describe me? One of my Jewish friends at school has told me how Rabbis can split hairs better than the most skilled barber, coming up with a plethora of interpretations about the simplest piece of text.

OK, it may be semantics, but it is something to think about.

As a side issue, she told me that Conservative rabbis have passed a resolution supporting the transgendered. Not all religious people are fanatics.

One more to think about: Galatians 3:28 "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

Maybe Dad is right that you can find all the answers in The Book. Just depends where you look.
 

I got sidetracked again, I was talking about talking with Audrey.

Audrey pointed out that even if I wasn't estranged from my family, all couples face the problem of where to go for the holidays. It isn't always practical to get everyone from both sides of the relationship in the same place. What happens when your sister's family wants both sides of their marriage together and you want both sides of yours?"

Compromise, of course. One place for Thanksgiving, another for Christmas, somewhere else for New Years. A big family practically needs to hire a travel agent to figure out the logistics.

In other words, enjoy what you've got and don't pine away over what you don't. Easier to say than to do.
 

Monday, November 25
School is off for the entire week, but that doesn't mean we can slack off. With sixteen people expected for Thanksgiving dinner there's a lot of planning to do. Both of Grandpa's children and their children are coming as well as Eve's children and her grandchildren. Add in me and that makes sixteen. It's a good thing that Grandpa's place has a big recreation room so we can all fit.

We borrowed a couple of tables and chairs from the Library and set them up, then went shopping. I don't want to mislead anyone - when the word shopping comes up in a transgender story it usually means a gaggle of giggling girls terrorizing the mall and trying on every scrap of clothing that can be found.

Not this time, we went food shopping. Sure, I've helped with the shopping for our little family of four, but shopping for a big meal with sixteen people is a whole 'nother kettle of fish. I know we're having turkey, but my grandmother was fond of that saying so I thought I would work it in since I wasn't going to be seeing my family any time soon.

We filled two shopping carts with goodies. Eve and Grandpa were determined that we would be serving everything fresh and from scratch. We were even going to bake our own bread for the stuffing. There were apples, onions, peppers, squashes, bread flour, yeast, pecans, walnuts, fruits, Jello, and I don't know what all. Eve tried to explain what everything was for, but I soon lost track. I may be starting to be a decent cook, but I'm still new at it.

We were even planning to go out to a turkey farm on Wednesday for a fresh, organic turkey that hadn't been injected with whatever they inject turkeys with so you don't have to baste them. Then Eve had to explain just what 'basting' meant.

My culinary education is going to take a giant leap this week.