The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1082 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

I spent an anxious night dreaming about car crashes and being unable to prevent them. I kept seeing Paul and Daisy going off to their deaths and couldn’t make them hear me. I woke the next morning with Trish snuggled into the back of me.

“What are you doing in here?” I asked when she opened one eye to take a peep at me.

“You were making such noise, it was the only way I was going to get some sleep, Mummy.”

“What d’you mean?”

“When I came into bed with you, you calmed down and went to sleep.”

“Oh did I?”

“Yes,” she yawned.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about being mothered by a six year old. “I suppose that now we’re awake, we’d better get up and have some breakfast.”

“What time is it, Mummy?”

“Six o’clock, why?”

“I’m going back to sleep, night night.”

I turned over and cuddled round her, “Thank you, missy mouse.”

“Uh?”

“For being a lovely daughter.”

“Oh–you’re welcome,” she yawned and within a few minutes seemed to go off to sleep or was faking it. I stayed spooned round her and realised what Maria had lost, I wept silently for her and eventually slept myself.

Stella woke me with a cup of tea, which was nice of her. It was ten o’clock and Trish had gone down and had had her breakfast without waking me. They were all being very nice to me, but I still felt like shit.

I skipped breakfast and had Julie berating me–“It’s the most important meal of the day.”

“So how come you skip it, then?” I riposted.

“I don’t, Mummy, you won’t let me–so why should you be allowed to.”

“Because I’m the big cheese round here, that’s why.”

“That’s not fair,” she pouted.

“Tough, that’s what you signed up for–read the small print.”

“I didn’t sign anything.”

“That’s what they all say, but it’s a watertight contract.”

“What is?”

“I see, trying to use ignorance is bliss defence–that won’t stand up in court, either.”

“I’m going to play on the motorway it’s safer than arguing with you.” She turned on her heel and strode out of the room. I sniggered then ate a banana–apparently they contain vitamin C, potassium and calcium. I now contained it.

Lunch would be needing some planning, I shoved the bread machine on and while it was starting looked to see what I could use to make soup. I had some leeks and loads of potatoes, garlic and stock–we had a soup in all but completion.

While it was all cooking, I sat and read some of my Guardian. A new health scare, a Neolithic house and more misery from the government–nothing new there then. Maybe they should publish a headline as a wealth scare, although the way things were going only the wealthy will be able to live here–which is perhaps how the Tories would like it.

My phone peeped and one of my students sent me a link to the Daily Telegraph, I smiled as it appeared some dormice were holding up the planning process for a supermarket in Cornwall. They had a so called 'expert' sussing the place–pity they didn’t give me a shout. I like Cornwall, and maybe the events of the last couple of days would have been avoided.

No matter how I looked at it, I couldn’t change the past; even Superman was pushed to make the earth spin backwards. Of course in doing so he’d have destroyed the planet and killed everyone but Lois Lane, but he was in love... That reminds me, I used to have a Superman tee at one time, can’t remember when I last saw it let alone wore it. Maybe I should find it, the kids would laugh–or would they? Have they seen or heard of Superman? Julie should have, but the others–I don’t know, maybe Danny, but the rest are too young.

I sat and did the crossword, well the easy one–and I struggled with that. The kids had either forgotten me or were under instructions to give me some space. I found some ironing that Julie hadn’t done and set to. A while later, it was all done and so was the soup and the bread. Hot bread with soup–it doesn’t come any better.

I called in rent-a-mob and we ate. They were all polite but no one said much about anything to me. I presume my recent experience was the elephant in the room, and no one was going to admit they could see it.

After lunch, I showered and went to see Maria. She looked ill, with dark rings under her eyes, mind you, I suspect I didn’t look much better. The baby looked to be improving and I hoped she’d make a suitable substitute for Daisy–not that anyone can replace a lost child.

She talked endlessly about the plans they all had, which were now consigned to the dustbin. She also asked me if I was strong enough to identify the bodies, as she wasn’t, and the police were pressing to start an inquest. My guilt made me agree to do it, although I berated myself all the way home. Surely things like dental records and the circumstantial evidence of the registered keeper of the car, was enough. However, I said I’d do it, so do it I would.

I left Maria after an hour, called the police on the way home and asked them if they could take me to and from home if I agreed to do it. Reluctantly they agreed, after whingeing that they weren’t a taxi firm, and I retaliated by informing them that I didn’t have to do this at all.

All the way to the mortuary I hoped that the bodies would be of someone else, I didn’t care who as long as I didn’t know them–then I realised that meant someone else would have had to die and if they had, where were Daisy and her dad?

I threw up–I couldn’t help it. It was them, only it wasn’t them any more–just empty bodies, cold and with unseeing eyes. I won’t describe the injuries, but that’s why I threw up. I wanted to hug the little mite, cold as she was but they told me it wasn’t a good idea. Instead I stroked her face and kissed her icy cheek. I also kissed Paul’s cheek and then left. I was distraught all the way home and had to go and lie down for an hour when I got home. Stella gave me a stiff brandy to drink and after a short time I fell asleep. She ordered a takeaway and my family dined while I slept.

They say if you kiss the dead, you don’t dream of them–it worked that evening and I slept right through the night, waking the next morning to find Bossy-boots once again my bedmate.

“Did I keep you awake last night?”

“Your snoring did for a time,” she yawned. I hugged her and told her I loved her.

“If it had been Daddy and me instead, would Maria have identified us for you?”

What a profound question from one so young–I hoped my answer was up to it. “No, I’d have had to do it myself.”

“I’m glad of that,” she said and I knew she was worried that her little secret could be revealed even after death. How sad is that?