Michelle arose before Sam. She went down into the kitchen in her kimono and slippers to get them both some tea and to start breakfast. Sam had offered to cook, but Michelle insisted. It gave her a warm feeling cooking for her man. She had just got the eggs and bacon out ready to cook when Sam sat down freshly showered holding the letter.

"You open it Sam, I don't want anything to do with that monster."

Sam scanned the letter and looked at Michelle as she carefully broke the eggs into the frying pan. A full English breakfast had become a regular weekend treat for them both. They both ate healthily through the week. At weekends though, the yogurt and muesli was replaced by bacon, egg, sausage,mushroom and beans.

The smell of the frying bacon made Sam's mouth begin to water. Michelle laid the table and dished up the food while Sam poured them both tea.
He was not sure how she would take the news.

"Your stepfather has tried to commit suicide Michelle."

"What! when? what happened?"

She was not sure how she felt. While she hated him for what he had done to her, she cared deeply for others. Wishing someone dead was just not in her nature.

"While he was on remand he had a breakdown. You know he was an alcoholic don't you?"

"Of course, I rarely saw him sober. He was drunk when he went to work and when he came home."

"He went cod turkey in prison and tried to kill himself. He was moved to a a psychiatric prison after he attacked several guards and started raving about rape. He was like it for days."

"That's... well that's sad but why do I need to know about it?"

"Since he has been treated and sobered up he has become very docile. He knows what he did to you was wrong and wants to apologize. He is willing to sign over your mother's house to you, if you will visit him."

"What should I do Sam?"

"Do you think you can face him again?"

"Well yes. After I kicked him and you threw him. The big bad monster didn't seem so big."

"I can talk to my solicitor and sort out the paperwork, we can go, what next Friday? We have to book in with the hospital."

"The money will be very useful. I'm going to buy a set of boobs Sam. I want a full makeover too."

"I told you I'd help with that Michelle. "

"No Sam, I'm no gold digger. I need to prove I can live as a woman for the real life test. I may even start my own business, if I can't find a job as Michelle."

Sam could see that financial Independence would go a long way to instill confidence in her. She would finally be her own woman.

Friday they found themselves in a visitors room at the hospital. They had to leave their phones and any sharp objects at reception. Then they were both searched. Michelle was a little worried that the female officer who patted her down would discover her secret. If she did, she never commented on it.

Tommy was escorted in by a nurse. The nurse was powerfully built and had a kind open face.

"You'll have no trouble from him. He is responding well and is a model patient now."

Tommy face looked crestfallen. Michelle was only used to derision or anger from him.

"I'm very sorry Micheal, er, sorry Michelle. What I did to you was horrible.."

He stared at the table and quietly sobbed.

Michelle looked at Sam.

"Are you joking? You put me through hell for years, and now you're sorry. What is this a trick to get me to drop the charges"

Sam put his hand on Michelle's arm to check her anger.

"Michelle wait."

"I'm so, so sorry. It's not a trick. I'm sober for the first time in years and I understand now , I understand. They have helped me here. I deserve my punishment. I was a monster."

Michelle was speechless. She had never heard him apologize for anything before.

Sam thought he should find out more.

"What do you understand now Tommy?"

"Why I was so angry at Michelle, why I treated the poor girl so very badly. If I could take back what I did to you I would, but please just listen to what I have to say. I will sign whatever you want, but please give me a few minutes."

Michelle glared at him and spat out.

"Ok, I'm listening, but don't expect sympathy from me."

Sam understood, but thought how unlike this was to the gentle soul he knew her be.

"My parents died in a fire back when I was seven. I was sent to live with my uncle on a farm in Kildare. He wasn't married he had little time for me. He put me to work and would hit me if I didn't get the work done."

This was all new to Michelle. Both her parents died when she was young, it didn't excuse his behavior.

"Around the time I turned twelve my hair was down to my shoulders. He had offered to cut it using sheep shears. I wouldn't let him. He started to say that I looked like a girl with my long hair. Then one night he came into my room. He was drunk and told me he missed having a woman around the place. He forced me to do things to him that night. I cried myself to sleep. I knew it was wrong, but what could I do."

Michelle and Sam looked at each other horrified.

"Then a few days later he brought a dress into my room and made me change into it. You can guess the rest."

Tommy put his hand over his face and sobbed.

"Every night he would come to me with that dress, every night."

Tommy sobbed again, the tears running down his face.

The nurse put his hands on Tommy's shoulders.

"Come on now Tommy. It's ok, you're safe it will never happen again."

"Thanks Robbie, I'm ok. So I ran away when I was fourteen Michelle. I worked doing odd jobs sleeping rough until I got a job with a builder who let me sleep in the yard."

A tearful Michelle looked him in the eyes.

"I never knew Tommy, did my mother know?"

"No my girl, I hid this shame away. I had nightmares about it. I would drink to forget it, but it was never enough. Your mum tried to get me off the booze. She was an angel."

"I think I'm starting to understand Tommy. This is a vicious circle. "

"When I saw you in a dress Michelle, it all came rushing back. You reminded me of myself at twelve years old, being forced to doing disgusting things. All the progress your mother had made with me was gone. Every time I saw you after that it came back to me. I treated you so badly because of what was done to me."

"You were abused, so you abused me. Who knows what I would have done. Sam's sister explained I was taking my anger out on myself."

"They made me face what had been done to me in here Michelle. I still shouldn't have taken it out on you. I deserve what will happen now. I just wanted you to know how sorry I was. I can't take it back, the only thing I can give you is you mother's house."

Michelle leaned across the table and took Tommy's hands in hers. She brought them up to her lips and kissed them.

"I forgive you Tommy. This has to end, no more hate, no more fear."

Tommy smiled as his eyes watered. It was like a weight being lifted from his soul.

Sam was choked up and struggled to talk.

"There's my Michelle, there's the love of my life."

They both hugged as a now happy Tommy looked on.

"I'm so glad you found someone Michelle. Your mother was my angle, it looks like this Sam fella is yours."

"No Tommy" said Sam "It's the other way around. I was married to a devil, so I should know."

They borrowed a pen from the nurse so Tommy could sign the papers. Then they spoke for a while longer until their time was up. Michelle hugged Tommy, much to his surprise. As she pulled away she said.

"Tommy, half of the money from the house will be yours. It's what mum wanted. "

"You don't need to, she was your mother. I'm sure she would want you to have it all."

"No Tommy, it's ok. You need to forgive yourself, it's something I have recently learned."

In the car on the way back Sam told Michelle how proud he was of her. She told him she felt at peace with herself. She had finally put the fear of being a freak to rest.